


Third Year Drabbles

by SneetchesToo



Series: Drabbles [1]
Category: Code Black (TV)
Genre: F/M, Gen, Season 3 Spoilers, major angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-23
Updated: 2018-07-25
Packaged: 2019-04-26 23:47:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 58
Words: 201,370
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14413089
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SneetchesToo/pseuds/SneetchesToo
Summary: These are just some one-shots that take place throughout season 3. Mainly focused around the obviously non-canon relationship between Ethan/Leanne/Ariel. Stories will probably wind up containing spoilers but they won’t all be episode related.





	1. Candy Striper

**Author's Note:**

> *I couldn’t help myself.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ariel not only looked ridiculous, but she felt ridiculous too. And she couldn’t believe that Ethan was taking Leanne’s side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***Spoilers for 3x01***

Ariel couldn’t believe that she had fallen for Leanne’s trap. _Come help out at the hospital._ She had said. _It’ll be fun._ She had said. But it had not been fun, nope, not at all. And on top of now having to be surrounded by adults all day, she had to wear this ridiculous outfit while doing it. _She couldn’t believe this._

“I look ridiculous.” She mumbled under her breath, tugging on the ugly striped dress she wore.

“You look adorable.” She heard Ethan’s voice before she saw him, but she couldn’t help rolling her eyes as the older man appeared in front of her, a stack of patient charts in his hands. 

“I thought we were friends Ethan.” She growled out. She would never understand why he was so insistent on teasing her. She liked the man, a lot, but his sense of humor often left something to be desired.

“We are.” He said softly, leaning against the counter as he eyed her curiously. His gray eyes were soft and full of humor and while Ariel wanted to be mad at him, she couldn’t help but not be.

“Then why are you on her side?” This had all been Leanne’s fault and she couldn’t believe that he was backing her up on it. Although, in hindsight, she really shouldn’t be surprised. _There wasn’t much that Leanne did that Ethan didn’t agree with._

“Because she happens to be right.” He dropped his eyes to the chart in front of him, scribbling something down before handing it to the nurse behind the counter. He shifted his eyes toward her as she tried to think of a comeback.

“But…” Sadly, she couldn’t find one.

“No. No buts.” He leaned forward then, patting her arm lightly with his free hand. “You screwed up kid. Being forced to be a candy striper is the least of your worries.”

“Ugh.” She couldn’t imagine what could’ve possibly been worse. She would much rather be at school for that matter. Or, better yet, she’d rather be at home staring at the TV all day.

“She could’ve sent you to military school.” He whispered, bumping her softly with his shoulder before he started to walk away from her. She didn’t want him to leave though, because if she looked like she was busy talking to him, she was less likely to get dragged off to clean up someone else’s bodily fluids.

“Is that what your parents did?” She asked, following behind him. She caught up to him rather quickly and she couldn’t help but notice the small smirk that came over his face. She wondered if he was on to her. It wouldn’t be the first time that she had tried to be sneaky, only for him to foil her plans.

“They tried.” He replied back, his eyes shifting toward her as he made his way into the break room. He held the door open for her and she was thankful that he wasn’t trying to get rid of her just yet. 

“What happened?” She knew that he hadn’t actually been sent to military school. In fact, she knew a lot about him. A lot more than probably anyone at the hospital, including Leanne. The pair had gotten close over the past five months, and while she knew that Leanne was hoping that Ethan might help set her straight, he was in fact just becoming her partner in crime.

“I ran away.” He said matter-of-factly, his hands dropping his stack of files on the counter as he reached for the coffee pot.

“Wasn’t that the whole point?” She filed away that tidbit of information for the next time he fussed at her about running away from her problems. “To stop you from making dumb ass decisions?”

“Language ma’am.” He shot back, his hands going to hand her the cup of coffee he had just poured. He quickly poured himself one before turning back to face her. “The whole point… is that this isn’t about me, it’s about you.”

“Why is she doing this?” She huffed out. She still didn’t understand Leanne’s reasoning, I mean, weren’t there plenty of other things she could be doing right now? Like sleeping for instance.

“Because she loves you.” He pointed out, his eyes shifting to meet hers over the cup of coffee he held to his lips. “And because you can’t just sit at home and do nothing all day. Your brain will turn to mush.”

“Is that your best medical diagnosis?” She really was tired of his lame jokes right about now.

“Real funny kid.” He muttered, taking a sip of his coffee as he eyed her sternly.

“Besides,” Ariel let out another huff, her eyes doing their best to shoot daggers at the man across from her, “you’re just taking her side because you want her to like you.”

“Leanne already likes me thank you very much.” He rolled his eyes at her words and Ariel was reminded yet again of just why she related to the older man so much. For someone with such charisma and character, he could be a real child when he wanted too.

“You just want her to agree to finally go on that date with you.” Ariel figured she’d strike with a low blow. It’s not like Ethan was immune to doing the same to her.

“Perhaps…” He took a deep breath and rolled his eyes again, “but that’s beside the point.”

“No the point is that you’re just kissing her ass in hopes that she’ll finally ‘yes’.” She placed her free hand on her hip as she spoke. She knew full and well about Ethan’s attempts to get Leanne to go out with him over the past few months. And while she didn’t think he was trying quite hard enough, she did think that Leanne was being kind of a pain in the ass to him. He was a great guy after all. If Ariel had to suffer with a man around the house all the time it might as well be a man she actually liked.

“She’ll say ‘yes’.” He huffed out.

“You sound awfully certain of that.” She knew that Leanne would give in eventually, if not for the sake of just getting Ethan to stop with all the ridiculousness. 

“Because I know she will.” He offered her a big smile then, his hands going out to gesture around himself. “Besides, who can resist this?”

“Oh God, please stop.” She choked on the sip of coffee she had taken and eyed him warningly. The last thing she needed was to imagine the two of them doing anything close to unseemly.

Ethan was silent for a few minutes, his legs having moved him back toward the counter, where he leaned back against it. His eyes were soft as he eyed her over his coffee cup. It’s not that she didn’t like Ethan, because she really, truly did. And other than Leanne, he was really the only person around this place that she could stand. But he was often incredibly right about things that she wished he wasn’t right about.

“She happens to have a good point though.” He said softly, his quiet words breaking through the silence of the break room.

“What’s that?” She asked, her voice barely above a whisper. She didn’t want to know what he was thinking in that big old goofy head of his.

“You need that principal on your side kid.” _Goddammit she hated it when he was right._ “We’ve talked about this.” 

“But…” She knew they had talked about this, a lot. And not just her and Leanne either. Ethan had also done his best to drill home for her that she needed to get her act together or they would take her away, again. And as much as she didn’t want to be a candy striper and clean up other people’s puke, she didn’t want to go back into the system more than that.

“Ariel, you know she’s right.” She let out a sigh as he stepped forward, leaving his coffee cup on the counter as he reached out to grip her shoulders gently in his hands.

“But do I have to wear this ridiculous outfit?” She said with a sigh. She knew that she had lost this battle, maybe she could at least petition for a better outfit. “I look like a cartoon character.”

“The uniform’s part of the job love.” He said softly. He leaned down and pressed a kiss to her forehead and she felt all of the fight leave her body. She knew she was lucky to have Ethan in her life. She knew that if she left she’d never find someone like him again.

“But it’s hideous.” She growled. _It really was the ugliest thing she had ever seen._

“Take that up with Jesse.” He let out a chuckle as his spoke, his eyes soft and full of humor.

“Maybe I will.” She spat back. She definitely had a few things she’d like to discuss with Jesse anyway, the uniform was certainly at the top of her list. She watched as Ethan returned to grab his folders off the counter, stepping past her and toward the door quietly. She expected him to leave without another word, but instead he stopped and turned to face her, his eyes shimmering in the dim light of the small room.

“Hey kid.” He said softly, a small smile on his face as he spoke.

“Yeah Ethan?” She could only imagine what his parting words would be. _No doubt something ridiculous and crude._

“Please behave yourself around here.” He whispered. “I’m just getting used to you being around. It would kinda suck if you had to leave me.” He offered her a wink and another cheerful smile, and then he was gone, his tall form disappearing on the other side of the doorway.

“Yeah yeah yeah.” She called after him, her lips curling upward into a smile at his words. She definitely didn’t want to leave him, or Leanne, so she guessed she would just have to suck it up at this point. She let out a soft sigh when she saw Jesse appear in the doorway, his eyebrow raised as he muttered something about looking everywhere for her. She simply smiled back before following him out the door and back out onto the busy hospital floor. _Maybe she’d bring up the whole outfit thing later._


	2. The Bike

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ethan was downright crazy if he thought they would get away with this.

Ariel had been waiting not so patiently for Ethan to arrive for a good ten minutes now, and she had checked her phone what felt like, every few seconds. He was supposed to be picking her up from the hospital after her shift and taking her to get some dinner. She knew that Leanne would inevitably be working late and she had texted the man over an hour ago begging for him to come and save her from this horrific place. She just wanted to get out of here and eat and fall asleep, she couldn’t remember the last time she had been so tired.

She checked the time on her phone once more, sighing when she saw that Ethan was now twelve minutes late. It was very unlike him to not be on time, especially when it came to her. She got ready to call him and ask where he had been when she heard the rev of a motorcycle engine coming down the street outside the hospital. The bike continued to get closer before it stopped in front of her. She raised a curious eyebrow, but all her questions were answered when the man on the bike pulled his helmet off, revealing the one and only Ethan Willis.

“What is that?” She asked loudly, waiting for him to turn the engine off. He did so with a huff, his lips curling upward in a smile as he dropped the hand that was holding his helmet into his lap.

“It’s my bike.” He stated matter of factly, and she rolled her eyes at his words. 

“We can’t go on that.” She shook her head back and forth as she made her way down the front stairs toward him. He was absolutely insane if he thought this was a good idea. _They would never get away with it._

“Why not?” He asked softly, his free hand going up to remove his sunglasses, his eyes glowing in the early evening sun.

“Leanne will kill us both.” She felt like she was stating the obvious. There was no way he thought that this would be an acceptable mode of transportation. Leanne would surely ground her, and probably hit him.

“Well unfortunately it’s all we got.” His words were soft as he leaned back a little, his eyes studying her face as he spoke. “My Jeep’s in the shop.”

“But...” She knew she should argue with him, that she should be the voice of reason, but man had she been dying to get on that bike since the day she found out about it.

“Now come on.” He waved her down the rest of the steps with a smile and when she got to the bottom she dropped her hands to her hips. “It’s perfectly safe.” He said softly.

“I’m not worried about that thing being safe.” And honestly, she wasn’t. She was fifteen, if she didn’t believe in taking risks surely they would say something was wrong with her. In fact, she loved taking risks, and riding on a motorcycle was the least of her worries. However, she was afraid of Leanne, and she knew that deep down inside, Ethan was too. “I’m worried about what’ll happen if Leanne finds out.” 

“Key word, if.” He offered her a big smile, and a wink, and she wondered why he wasn’t more concerned with pissing off the older woman.

“You know she will.” And she knew it would happen, without a doubt, because Leanne knew everything. Somehow, someway, she would find out, and she didn’t want to be around when that happened.

“Only if someone tells her.” He said with a chuckle. He surely was a glutton for punishment was he not?

“Are you sure it’s okay?” And apparently, so was she.

“I said it’s okay, so yes.” She knew that Leanne was taking risks by allowing Ethan to play such an important role in her life, but if she was being honest, she was thankful that the woman seemed to trust him enough to let him hang around. He had been great to them, both of them, the past five months, and she knew that without him she surely would’ve gotten into even more trouble. “Now let’s go, I’m starving.”

“Okay.” She said with a soft chuckle, making her way down the sidewalk toward him. She had just taken the extra helmet he handed her when she heard footsteps behind her. Footsteps she would recognize anywhere.

“Hold it!” And there was Leanne’s voice, loud and firm from her place halfway down the steps, and Ariel let the helmet fall back into Ethan’s hands with a sigh.

“Busted.” She whispered, rolling her eyes as she turned from his smiling face to her angry one.

“Where do you two think you’re going?” She asked, her hands going to cross over her chest angrily. Ariel could practically see the smoke blowing out of her ears.

“To get food.” She whispered, offering the older woman a smile in hopes that she could charm her into not noticing the bike Ethan was sitting on.

“Nice try.” Her voice was stern and her eyes were set, but they weren’t focused on her, rather, they were focused on the man beside her. _And if looks could kill, Ethan would be a dead man._

“Okay,” He said softly, his eyes glowing as he offered Leanne a smile, “We were gonna skip dinner and go straight for the ice cream.” _Like that was going to help their cause._

“Nice try again.” She dropped her arms and waved her hands at them both. “You’re not riding on that!”

“But…” Ariel really didn’t understand what the big deal was. Clearly Ethan thought it was safe enough for her, weren’t his instincts enough to be trusted?

“No.” She walked the few steps remaining to bring her to the bottom steps, putting her directly in front of Ethan. “Walk away Ariel.”

“But I did what you asked.” She wanted to stomp her foot like a toddler. She wanted to scream at the woman and remind her that she had promised that she could go out with Ethan after work if she did what was asked of her. She wanted to remind the woman that she was being entirely unfair. “I cleaned my room this morning. I came to work and wore that ridiculous outfit and smiled and pretended to care and I didn’t complain once.”

“I don’t care.” Leanne’s words were like a knife to the heart. She didn’t understand why this was so easy for her dismiss. Didn’t she remember what it was like to be a teenager?

“Leanne...” Ethan’s warning use of her name was the first time he’d spoken in several minutes and Ariel was pretty sure that Leanne’s face had turned a hundred shades darker with his tone.

“Stay out of this.” She pointed a warning finger at him and shot him another dirty look, her eyes boring into his with an anger Ariel had never seen before. 

“Yes ma’am.” And Ethan took her words of advice, throwing his hands into the air with a soft sigh. He shot Ariel a sideways glance, something akin to an apology she guessed, before shaking his head softly.

“It’s not fair.” She knew this was a battle she wasn’t going to win, but she didn’t feel like giving up without letting them both know how ridiculous this was.

“Life’s not fair.” Leanne’s words made the teen roll her eyes, her arms going to cross over her chest much like the woman’s had a few minutes ago.

“So what am I supposed to do now?” She was counting on Ethan to get her away from this place. To take her somewhere quiet, with food.

“Wait until I get off. I’ll take you home.” Ariel huffed at Leanne’s words. That meant that she wouldn’t get home until almost midnight. She hated this. “Or Ethan can go find a more suitable mode of transportation for a young lady.”

“You’ve ridden on the back of it before.” Ariel growled out. And it was true, Leanne had ridden on the back of the bike, multiple times. In fact, she had once said that she felt awfully invigorated after doing so. “Several times I might add.”

“I’m not a young lady.” _What the hell did that even mean?_

“You’re being a hypocrite.” She stomped her foot this time and when Ethan shot her a look that said ‘Stop! Stop now!’ she almost wanted to stomp her foot at him too.

“I’d watch that mouth of yours.” Leanne growled out, her eyes shooting daggers at her as she took a step closer.

“Fine.” She whispered, offering Ethan a sad look before she stormed off up the steps and back into Angels.

The pair watched the teen make her way inside with a huff, Ethan’s eyes going soft at the image of the angry teen. He loved the kid like she was his flesh and blood, and he would never do anything to hurt her. He wished that Leanne would trust him a little more with her.

“You know she’s right.” He whispered, lifting his eyes to meet with hers as he leaned back on the bike seat.

“Shut up Ethan.” Leanne grunted out. 

“You have ridden on the back of the bike before.” He offered to her softly. She had to know that she was being impossible. She had to know that he wouldn’t have made a bad judgment call when it came to Ariel of all people. She had to know that she was wrong.

“Again, I’m not a young lady.” Or maybe she didn’t.

“You’re a lady nonetheless.” He growled out his response. She was being downright unreal right now. She had never once expressed any type of concerns about his motorcycle up until this point. Not even the first time that she had seen him on it. Unlike Jesse, she had made a comment about how ‘cool’ it was. 

She had later told him that her dad used to collect vintage bikes and that she had actually spent a great deal of her youth tinkering away on them. He had thought the story had made her even more adorable than before. And then when she had asked him to take her for a ride one afternoon he had almost died at the sight of her on the back of the bike. But that had been back then, before things had gotten weird, before he had done his best to woo her, only to find out that he was apparently a giant disappointment in that department. _Or at least in her eyes._

“Ethan please.” Her words were soft and he could tell that she was starting to lose some of her fight. When he let out a soft chuckle at her words she simply rolled her eyes, her hands reaching up to run through her hair.

“You know it’s safe.” He whispered. “I wouldn’t let anything happen to her.” He wished that she believed him when he said that. He would never, not in a million years, let anything happen to the girl. In fact, he’d lay down his own life before he let that happen.

“It’s not you I worry about.” She whispered back. She dropped her hands from her face then and he could see the slight torment in her eyes. She was worried about the other people out there. _The people who didn’t love the blonde like their own child._

“What are you gonna do when she starts dating?” He asked quietly. He knew that Leanne probably had a thousand worries about when that day came. He, on the other hand, figured he was scary enough to ward off any potential hoodlums from the girl’s life. “What happens if one of her boyfriends come over on a bike?” 

“Easy. She’s never allowed to date. Ever.” She stated her words with no hesitation. _Clearly she had thought about this a few times._

“Oh please Leanne.” He ran a hand through his hair with his words. He happened to know that Ariel happened to have her eye on a young man at school. Who he happened to know wasn’t exactly Prince Charming. _Not that he had looked in to the kid or anything, because that would be so uncouth._

“Don’t oh please me.” She rolled her eyes at him as she spoke, her angry eyes setting on his face with a sigh. “And besides, isn’t that supposed to be your line. Don’t most ‘fathers’ feel as though their daughters are too precious to date?”

“Never said she wasn’t.” He was glad that she could at least acknowledge that he looked at Ariel through father-like eyes. “I just know it’s unrealistic to think she’ll be a nun.”

“I have expectations for her you know.” Leanne’s words were stern and her eyes were raging. He wondered what was going on in her head. _Better yet, it was probably better for them both if he never found out._

“And what, I don’t?” He growled out. He really wanted to know when this went from a simple disagreement about riding on the motorcycle to a full blown argument about the teen’s future.

“She’s not yours to worry over Ethan.” And there it was, the words he suspected she had been wanting to say to him over the past few months but just couldn’t get up the courage to do so. _Guess she didn’t mind stabbing you right in the heart today buddy._

“Ouch.” He whispered. “That was a low blow Leanne.” 

“You know what I mean.” She sighed out. He glanced up and caught sight of her face. Her eyes looked exhausted, in fact, more exhausted than they had in a while. He wondered just how long this shift would last.

“No. Actually I don’t,” He sighed back, “but I’ll pretend that you didn’t just hurt my feelings for arguments sake.” He closed his eyes tight as he fought off the overwhelming desire to yell at her about how much she was hurting him by trying to put a wedge between him and Ariel. He understood if their friendship was on the rocks, but he would absolutely die if she took the kid away from him too. “You can’t protect her forever Leanne.”

“But it’s my job to try.” She whispered, her sad eyes meeting his as she crossed her arms back over her chest.

“And that includes not allowing her to live her life?” He didn’t want to fight with her, honestly, he didn’t. They had done nothing but fight the past few weeks. And he didn’t even really know why. It was part of the reason he had agreed to take the job out in the field. It was part of the reason he had started to pull away. But that didn’t make things any better. And it certainly didn’t make things any easier. Especially not with a teenager bouncing back and forth between them. He felt like he was living through a horrible divorce, except he hadn’t even had the pleasure of being married to her first. “She’s fifteen Leanne. She’s smart, funny, and pretty. You can’t keep her locked up in her room. She’s not a Disney princess.”

“You’re so full of it.” Her voice was full of an anger he hadn’t heard in a while. In fact, that was normally a tone she reserved for Campbell and Campbell only.

“Maybe I am.” He sighed softly, reaching down to turn the bike back on. He let out a huff as he pulled his sunglasses back over his eyes, not wanting to meet hers anymore. He had had enough drama for one day, “but I’m not the one who’s gonna have to deal with the angry teenager all night now am I?”

“Ethan...” She dragged his name out as she took a step closer, her hand going out for him, but he pushed her away. He didn’t have time for her games anymore.

“Save it Leanne. I’ll text her later.” He pulled his helmet up and into his hands, stopping to glare at her as he growled out his last words. “We’ll reschedule for a time when I’m ready to be a more ‘responsible’ parent.” And with that he pulled his helmet over his head and took off down the road, fighting off a round of tears. He didn’t know if he was crying because he was angry or sad or both, but all he knew was that he was done. _Completely and utterly done._


	3. The Fight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What Ethan did was reckless, and Leanne had no problem letting him know that. ***Spoilers for 3x01***

Ethan had retreated to the break room after his chat with Larry and all he wanted right now was five minutes of peace and quiet. Five minutes to himself. To take a few deep breaths and get his head back in the game. But then the break room door had opened while he was pouring his cup of coffee and he suddenly felt the entire atmosphere of the room change. 

Turning, he was both thankful and disappointed to see Leanne standing in the open doorway. He watched as she let out a sigh, stepping into the room and shutting the door behind her without a word. He knew that she was mad at him for what had happened earlier. He knew that she was going to have something to say about it. He just wished she could’ve waited another 24 hours, his head hurt entirely too much to have this talk right now.

“What you did earlier today...” She said quietly, stepping toward him as she crossed her arms over her chest. Her face was set in a stern expression and he could practically feel the anger radiating off of her.

“I know Leanne.” He let out a sigh as he spoke. He knew that he had screwed up. He knew that he should be in a lot more trouble than he was. 

“It was reckless and stupid. Not to mention irresponsible.” She practically growled her words at him and when he lifted his eyes to meet hers he felt like she might just set him on fire.

“I know Leanne.” He said softly, leaning back against the counter. _He really, really, knew._

“Do you? Do you know? Because the Ethan that I know wouldn’t lose his cool like that.” Leanne said violently. He wondered for a split second where this Leanne had come from, but then he remembered that this seemed to be the only Leanne he saw these days. She always seemed to be mad at him for one thing or another. _He never really knew why either._

“The Ethan you know?” He chuckled with his words, shaking his head back and forth as he fought off the urge to yell at her. “Oh please Leanne. Save your sob story about our lost and broken friendship for someone who cares.”

“Hey!” He could tell he had hurt her with his words. Her eyes went from angry to sad in a matter of seconds and her shoulders slumped as she stepped away from him.

“Look.” He tried to take a step toward her, instantly feeling bad for hurting her. That was never his intention, never, no matter how much she tried to make it seem like it was. “I lost it. I’m sorry.”

“I don’t care how sorry you are!” She screamed back. “What if you had seriously hurt him?”

“I punched him Leanne. It’s not like I put a gun to his head.” He was already over this conversation and he just wanted her to leave him alone. 

“I don’t care if all you did was give him a paper cut.” Was she being serious right now? He wondered if she realized how ridiculous she sounded. “You can’t do shit like that and you know it.”

“Are you telling me this as my boss or my jilted lover?” He knew that would probably send her over the edge. And judging by how red her face turned with his question, he knew he was right.

“Screw you!” Her voice was raised to a volume he didn’t think he’d ever heard before. He was surprised that a nosy passerby hadn’t stepped in to see what was going on.

“If only... maybe that would solve some of our issues.” But then again, he remembered that most of the people at Angels were probably used to hearing them fight by now.

“You’re unbelievable.” She let out a frustrated groan as she ran her hand through her short curls. He had been over the moon when she had changed her hairstyle, not that he would ever tell her that. _He thought she looked downright adorable._

“And you’re delusional.” He growled back, dropping his head down as he tossed his still full coffee cup in the trash can. He had lost all of his ability to taste with this stupid conversation.

“Excuse me?” So maybe those hadn’t been the best choice of words.

“You think it’s all gonna be okay don’t you?” He let out a sigh as he brought his eyes back up to hers. He could see her struggling to hold it together. He could tell that he was hitting her right in a place that was once sacred. A place that he seemed to be hell bent on destroying these days. _Although, he most certainly wasn’t doing it on purpose._ “That things are just gonna magically go back to the way they were?”

“Why can’t they?” Her voice was quiet this time, her sad eyes having dropped down to stare at the floor. He felt like the world’s biggest ass for making this into something it wasn’t.

“Because Leanne! I put my heart and soul on the line for you! I gave up everything!” _But, apparently, he was a glutton for punishment who just couldn’t stop._ “I would move heaven and Earth for you and Ariel, and yet, I’m just your own little personal doormat.”

“That’s not...” He heard her voice shake as she shook her head back and forth. They had had this fight at least half a dozen times. He really didn’t understand why he kept going back to it. It was pretty obvious that things weren’t going to get better.

“I know, I know, ‘that’s not what this is about’.” His voice was quiet as he ran his fingers through his hair, sighing as he watched her whole body shudder. “Well guess what? That’s what it’s about now.”

“Is that why you’re running away?” Her voice was so quiet that he barely heard it and he wondered why he had to go and do that to her again. “Going out in the field. Is that what this is about?”

“It’s my job Leanne.” He sighed. He really didn’t know why she didn’t understand that he was just doing what he was trained to do. What he was sent here to do. Punishment or not, his position at Angels was not something that he took lightly. He wished that she could respect that.

“To put your life at unnecessary risk?” She lifted her eyes back up to his this time and he could see the unshed tears threatening to fall. He knew that she was having a rough time saying these things to him. It was the first time that she had ever expressed concerns about him going in the field though. He wondered if his recklessness in the field that morning had irritated her as much as it had Rox.

“I’m a soldier first.” And it was true, he was a soldier before he was anything else. _Whether she liked it or not._

“That’s not my Ethan speaking.” Her words broke his heart in two and he felt his heart start racing in his chest. He hadn’t been “her Ethan” in a while now. In fact, in a few months. It felt strange to hear her say those words to him again.

“Yeah well ‘your’ Ethan’s still sitting at that restaurant waiting for you to show up for our first date after you cancelled on me twelve times before.” He knew it was a low blow. He knew it would probably end their friendship right then and there. But for some reason, he just couldn’t help himself. “‘Your’ Ethan, is gone.”

“Why are you doing this?!” She shouted all of a sudden. He saw the anger from earlier return to her eyes and when she raised her arms he was almost afraid that she might come after him.

He got ready to reply when the break room door opened behind her. And in stepped Ariel. He let out a sigh at the sight of the tired looking teen. The last thing he wanted to do right now was deal with this. He knew the girl had been struggling with their constant fighting. And they certainly weren’t doing a very good job of hiding it from her. But he knew that she had to at least understand some of what was going on. She was pretty smart, despite how much she didn’t want anyone else to know it.

“Guys...” Her voice was soft as she shifted her eyes from Leanne’s stark and unmoving body to his. He knew instantly that she knew just what she had walked in on.

“Not now Ariel.” Leanne whispered softly, turning to give the girl a stern look. He knew that it wouldn’t work. He knew that she wouldn’t listen to her. She rarely did when it came to issues between them. Whether she was his daughter or not, she was quite the daddy’s girl. _And boy did that piss Leanne off._

“But...” She looked defeated as it was and her words weren’t doing anything to hide her anxiety over the situation.

“Not now Ariel!” And yet, he still felt the need to yell at her. He couldn’t believe what an ass he was being right now.

“Jeez fine.” She let out a sigh, her arms going to cross over her chest much like Leanne’s had earlier. He thought it was kind of funny how a child that wasn’t even theirs seemed to be so much like them both. “I guess we won’t talk about how you punched someone in the face earlier.”

“How did you...?” He was officially done with today. He had no idea the teen had witnessed the whole thing. Although he honestly shouldn’t be surprised, most of the hospital apparently already knew about his little breakdown earlier. 

“I saw the whole thing.” She whispered, her eyes darkening as she turned her attention away from him.

“Ariel...” Leanne’s voice was soft and he watched as she reached out for the girl, probably hoping to offer her some sort of comfort.

“It’s not what you think...” He huffed out. He really hoped that she hadn’t gotten the wrong impression. He knew he shouldn’t have hit the guy, but there were much deeper issues here than Larry just being a punk.

“You punched him because he made you mad. Am I right?” She shifted her attention back to him, her head cocking slightly to the side as she tried to break him. _Just. Like. Leanne._

“Yes, but...” He really wished that she would let him explain. He knew that of all the people she would understand if she would just hear him out.

“But I get suspended, and subsequently grounded, because I threatened to hit someone.” And there it was. He wasn’t entirely sure the exact cause of her suspension from school. Somehow Leanne had skirted around that topic with him to the point of him not asking anymore. Now it made perfect sense why she was losing her cool over this. “I see how it is.”

“Fighting isn’t an acceptable way to solve any problems.” And he knew it wasn’t. He wasn’t an idiot, he knew he had screwed up and done something wrong. He could own up to his mistakes. He was praying that they were teaching Ariel to do the same.

“Says the man who just punched a terrified father in the middle of a hospital.” Her voice rose with her words and he watched as she stepped forward, moving her smaller frame toward him. 

“Ariel stop...” Leanne’s whispered plea did little to stop the teen’s forward advances and he backed himself up against the counter as he eyed her sternly. He knew she wasn’t stupid enough to come any closer, but he also knew that she had a mouth on her that was about to get her in trouble.

“No. She wants to get smart. Let her.” _In hindsight, again, she probably got most of the smart mouth from him._

“I’m not afraid of you!” She shouted out, her eyes filling with tears as she stopped in her tracks. Leanne’s hand went to her arm, stilling her movements and when his eyes connected with the teen’s he felt his heart break in his chest. He didn’t want to be one of those fathers who completely fucked up his relationship with his kid over something so stupid. He didn’t want to be his father. Ever.

“Ariel... Ethan... Stop.” Leanne’s soft voice did him in and he pushed himself off the counter with a huff. Storming out the door without another word. He figured he’d walk it off, or maybe go hide in an on-call room and cry into a pillow. Either way, he had to get away from them both.

Leanne watched as he stormed past her, his eyes dark and full of unshed tears, his hands shaking as he threw the door open with a huff. She couldn’t believe they had dissolved into another fight, just like that. She hated that they did this to each other. She hated that she let herself do this to them. 

“He’s unbelievable.” Ariel’s grunt of disapproval toward her father figure brought Leanne out of her thoughts and she turned the young girl around quickly, eyeing her through her own tear filled eyes.

“Ariel, you really shouldn’t have come after him like that.” She hadn’t intended for her words to come out so harsh. She really just wanted the girl to understand that she couldn’t just attack him like that. No matter how badly he had screwed up.

“You know, for someone who doesn’t seem to like him very much anymore, you sure do stick up for him a lot.” The teen practically spat her words at Leanne, her eyes rolling as she pulled free from her grasp.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” She growled back. She knew that Ariel would ultimately wind up taking Ethan’s side, regardless of the fight. She always did. She was his girl that way. Always sticking up for him, especially against her. She wasn’t entirely sure why that bothered her so much. In fact, she had been a daddy’s girl when she was younger, and she knew how incredibly important it was for her to have such a strong male figure in her life. She wondered if deep down she was afraid that the girl would need Ethan more than her. That maybe she would want to be with him more than her. She didn’t know what she would do if the girl chose living with him over living with her. Either way, it made her heart clench in a way she wasn’t sure about when she thought of their bond.

“Nothing.” She let out a sigh, dropping her head to her hands as she let out a soft sob. “I should get going. I guess I’ll have to find a new ride home.”

“I can take you honey.” She knew that Ariel had already made plans for Ethan to take her to get dinner before taking her home. Something about a new Indian restaurant they wanted to check out before it got popular, and busy. She guessed they weren’t keeping their dinner plans tonight though. She also really shouldn’t leave the hospital just yet, she still had so much work left to do. But if the girl needed her to take her home, than she would.

“No. Save it. I’ll ask Noa.” She said softly, walking around her and out the door with a sniffle. Leanne watched as her petite form headed down the hallway, her head hung downward as she went. _She really, really hated that they were doing this_.


	4. Apologies and Such

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leanne may have been pushing Ethan away, but Ariel was hellbent on making sure the man stayed right where he was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***Spoilers for 3x01***

After getting Noa to take her home Ariel had retreated to her room in silence. Even though Leanne wasn’t actually there, she felt like her presence was looming over her, and the last thing she wanted to do right now was be surrounded by it. She had showered and changed, before collapsing in bed with her history homework. She kept checking her phone over and over again, praying that Ethan would change his mind and text her. She not only felt horrible for the way she had talked to him earlier, but she was also starving. But his call never came. Neither did a text.

Leanne had returned home shortly after 7:00pm and Ariel stayed hidden away in her room, despite the woman’s pleas for her to join her for dinner. It’s not that she wanted to upset Leanne anymore than she already was, but she was really really tired of all the fighting. She was tired of fighting with Leanne. She was tired of fighting with Ethan. But more than anything, she was really really tired of them fighting with each other. She knew that they cared about each other a lot, she could see it in the way they handled each other, the way they interacted, the looks they shared. She just didn’t understand why they were so hell bent on destroying each other instead of being happy, together.

As if on cue, her cell phone dinged from its place on the bed and she couldn’t help but smile when Ethan’s name flashed across the screen. She knew he couldn’t stay mad at her for very long.

 _You still up?_ Stared back at her and she shook her head back and forth at his question. It was only 8:00pm, what kind of old lady did he think she was?

 _Of course. I’m trying to do homework._ She typed back. She wanted to add an eye-roll emoji, but she figured she was better off being somewhat civil with him.

 _Take a break. Come downstairs._ That certainly wasn’t the response she was expecting. She knew that he was still probably upset about earlier, she definitely still was. She didn’t know what would happen if they talked face-to-face right now.

 _Leanne know you’re here?_ Because let’s face it, she really didn’t want to start another argument between them.

 _Nope. Please. We need to talk._ She let out a sigh as she flopped back against the pillow behind her.

 _Coming._ She figured it was at least worth a shot. Rising quietly from the bed she made her way to the door, opening it softly as she let her eyes travel down the hall toward the older woman’s room. The door was closed and the lights off, indicating that she had likely turned in for the night. Letting out a soft sigh Ariel made her way down the stairs slowly, not wanting to give Leanne any indication as to what was going on. Once she made it to the foyer she opened the front door as gently as she could. She spotted Ethan sitting on the top step, a book in his hands as his eyes stared out into the fading evening light.

“Hey you.” She whispered her words as she opened the door and stepped out onto the porch, pulling the door shut behind her with a quiet sigh. She prayed that if they kept their voices low enough that they wouldn’t be busted.

“Hey yourself.” He whispered back, eyeing her softly as she made her way to sit next to him. “You left this at my place.”

He held up her chemistry book as he offered her a soft smile. She knew that he must’ve been using it as an excuse to come see her because he knew damn well that she didn’t need that book again until Friday. She was suddenly very thankful that she had chosen to leave it at his place. 

“I’m sorry.” She whispered after they sat in silence for a few minutes. She let her head fall to his shoulder as she closed her eyes. She was really, really hoping there would be no more tears today. “For earlier.”

“It’s okay kid.” He whispered back, his head falling to rest on top of hers with a contended sigh. “I know you didn’t mean it.”

“Still,” She really did feel horrible for talking to him the way she had. Her real father never would’ve tolerated that, she didn’t understand why Ethan did, “it wasn’t really any of my business.”

“Maybe not,” He dropped a kiss against her head then and she felt herself snuggling closer to his side, “but you still shouldn’t have had to see that.”

“Why did you punch him?” She whispered her question and she was afraid of the response that she may get from him. She knew that he had been angry at Larry for some reason or another, she just didn’t entirely understand what had caused him to lose his cool like that.

“I lost my cool.” She wanted to tell him that that much was obvious, but she refrained. She could hear him doing his best to control his breathing. She knew he was trying not to get worked up in front of her, again.

“I’ve seen you lose your cool Ethan.” Her voice was quiet as she lifted her head off his shoulder, turning so that she could face him as she spoke. “You’ve never punched someone before though.”

“Larry... he was mad at his brother.” _Ah, that made more sense._ “It was just...” She watched him blink back the tears forming in his gray eyes and she felt something tug at her heart strings watching the man that she loved like her own father break down in front of her.

“It hit home?” She always knew there was something mysterious lurking behind his tough façade. Some kind of pain and trauma that had made him into the man that he was today. She had never had the courage to ask about it before, not that she did now.

“At least he still had a brother to be mad at, yeah know?” His voice cracked as he dropped his head slightly, his eyes going to the stairs in front of them. She wanted to wrap him up in a hug and never let him go.

“Yeah.” She didn’t know what else to say. She didn’t know what he was going through. She didn’t know what he had lost or what he was missing. She hoped that he wouldn’t shut down on her like he did to Leanne though. She hoped that he had a little more respect for her than that.

“I’m sorry you had to see that kid.” He whispered after a few minutes. She was really sorry that she had had to see him like that too. It definitely wasn’t something she was proud of. “And I’m sorry that you had to see Leanne and I like that.”

“It’s okay. It’s kind of my new normal.” She figured since they were being honest with each other she might as well lay it all out there for him.

“And that’s not okay.” His voice was kind of harsh and his tone was louder than it had been before, but his eyes were still soft when he brought them back up to meet hers. “We really shouldn’t fight like that around you.”

“You shouldn’t fight like that period.” She figured she’d keep going as long as she was going to get away with it. “You guys are friends, best friends, or at least you used to be.” She let out a soft sigh with her last set of words. She really didn’t understand why they didn’t seem to best-friends anymore. She missed it when they got along and joked with each other. She missed the times when they actually enjoyed spending time together. She missed her family. “I don’t understand why you can’t seem to get along anymore.”

“Things... happened...” He sighed softly as he closed his eyes, probably trying to ward off some memory he didn’t want to revisit.

“Between you two?” And yet she insisted on making him relive it.

“Yeah.” He whispered, his eyes reopening so that he could focus on her once more.

“What kind of...” She was confused. They had seemed fine up until a few weeks ago. But then Leanne said she had a date, and Ethan conveniently had one too, and then the next day they just stopped talking, and… “OH… those kinds of things.”

“Yeah.” If Ethan thought she was as stupid as she felt he surely didn’t comment on it, for which she was thankful.

“That explains a lot.” It surely did. If they had had a failed date, together, she could only imagine what kind of repercussions that had had on them both. She knew that they both wanted the other, she wondered what could have possibly gone wrong.

“Indeed it does.” She almost didn’t hear his words and she felt her heart break for the man beside her. She knew that he cared about Leanne more than anything in this world, maybe even more than he cared about her. Hell, he might have even loved her. It hurt her to know that he was suffering without the woman in his life.

“I’m sorry.” And she really, truly was.

“Don’t be kid. Ain’t your fault.” Well at least she wasn’t responsible for that.

They sat in silence for a few minutes, each lost in their own thoughts. She could hear the sounds of his breathing as he tried to relax himself, his hands twisting together in his lap as he let a few slow breaths.

“Will you tell me about him someday?” She whispered her question, her eyes shifting toward him as she readjusted in her seat. She was nervous to bring up Ethan’s brother, or the lack thereof. She didn’t want him to get angry, or to shut her out, but she really was curious.

“Who?” He lifted his head up once more, his eyes meeting hers in the dark, and she knew that he knew exactly who she was talking about.

“Your brother.” Her voice was so quiet that she barely heard herself speak. She crossed her fingers as she waited for his response.

“What do you wanna know?” He asked softly, his eyes lighting up slightly at the mention of the man.

“Was he a cocky, sarcastic, moron like you?” She figured a little humor would help diffuse the darkness of the situation. 

“Hey now!” He tried to sound angry, but she could hear the humor in his voice, and the way he chuckled when she simply shrugged her shoulders at his statement made her feel slightly better about the situation.

“Just curious?” She laughed a little with her words, her eyes doing their best to convey to him just how much she was interested in knowing.

“I am none of those things.” He growled back, his smile never leaving his face. “You take that back right now missy.”

“Too late.” She giggled with her words. She knew that she would get him feeling better with a good laugh. It always worked on when he did it to her. “I’m a teenager, it’s my job to speak what’s on my mind.”

“Even if it gets you in trouble?” His question was light, but his eyes sparkled with mischief.

“Sometimes just to see if it will.” He let out a soft laugh at her words and she let her head fall back against his shoulder with a soft sigh. He dropped another kiss to her hair before dropping his head on top of hers once more.

“His name was Jack.” He whispered after a few minutes of silence. She felt her heart swell at that tiny tidbit of information. Ethan and Jack. She bet they were quite the destructive pair.

“Were you two close?” She asked softly. She couldn’t imagine Ethan being distant from his brother. He was quite the affectionate and loving guy, despite the tough exterior.

“Eh. At times.” His tone was soft even though his words portrayed the opposite. “We definitely had our differences.”

“Was he military too?” She could see that. Both of them in uniform, causing all kinds of trouble to anyone who messed with them. She bet they had quite the reputation too.

“Yeah. Army. He was a Ranger.” The way Ethan’s voice rose as he talked about his brother more made her feel all giddy inside. She could tell that he had really loved his brother, despite how much of a pain he might have been.

“Was he smart like you?” She could only imagine how ridiculous that household must have been. One smart Willis boy was enough for her, she couldn’t imagine having to deal with two.

“Ha. Trying to redeem yourself now are you?” He let out a soft chuckle as he nudged her shoulder with his. 

“Just curious.” And she was. She wanted to know just how much alike these two knuckleheads must have been. “You sometimes amaze me with your endless supply of random, yet mostly useless knowledge.”

“Blame my father for that.” She wasn’t surprised by his words. She often wondered where Ethan got his personality traits from. 

“Maybe I’ll thank him instead.” She had never heard him mention anything about his parents, not to her, or Leanne. She wanted to ask more, to know about the older Willis man as well, but she figured baby steps were in her best interest right now.

“Ha. Yeah Jack was pretty smart.” She bet he was. “A bit more of a wiseass than me though.” 

“Is that even possible?” It couldn’t have been possible for him to be even more of a pain in the ass than Ethan though. 

“You joke now young lady...” He nudged her again, his laughter filling the small space of the front steps.

“Was he older or younger?” Now she moved on to the important question. She figured that Ethan had to be the older one, there was just something about the way he carried himself. He was far too cocky to have been the baby of the family.

“Younger. By three years.” She knew it.

“I bet you were a good big brother.” She figured he probably beat his brother up more than anyone else. But she also knew that he probably loved him more than anything else in this world too. That was just the kind of man that Ethan was.

“Oh hell no. I terrorized him from the minute they brought him home from the hospital.” She didn’t expect that. She couldn’t see Ethan terrorizing anyone, except for maybe Dr. Campbell.

“You did not?” She didn’t believe him, there was noway that her sweet Ethan tortured anyone, not even his own brother.

“Oh yeah. But once we got older, and mom got sick...” She heard his voice fade out as he spoke about his mom. She didn’t know that she had gotten sick. She just figured she died of old age. A lot of things were certainly starting to make more sense in regards to the man.

“Things changed?” She knew how that went. After her mom died, things had been way more different than she ever thought they would be. And even more so after her father passed away. She knew what it felt like to be left by a parent, she knew how hard that was.

“Yeah. Things changed.” He whispered as he lifted his head up off of hers. He let out a soft sigh as he blinked his eyes a few times and Ariel guessed that he was probably starting to get teary eyed, that he was starting to shut down on her. She wondered how much more time she had before he pulled away from her completely. But before she could try to real him back in she heard the door open behind them and she dropped her head with a soft sigh.

“Ariel, who are you...?” Leanne’s voice must’ve startled Ethan, because he jumped up from his spot on the stairs, his hands grabbing for Ariel’s text book as his breathing increased.

“Hey. Sorry. She uh, she left a book at my place.” His voice was shaky and panicked and Ariel wondered when he went from being calmed by Leanne’s presence to frightened by it.

“It’s fine.” She must have realized that she had gotten to him because her tone changed. Ariel watched as she moved closer to them on the porch, only for Ethan to back his way down to the steps to the sidewalk. “Just, didn’t know who she was out here being all chatty with.”

“I should go.” He whispered, handing the book in his hands to Ariel with a soft sigh. He backed his way down the sidewalk as his eyes silently pleaded with her to forgive him leaving like that.

“No! Stay!” She practically shouted her words and she felt bad. She didn’t want him to go. She wanted to keep talking to him, to keep learning more about him. She hated Leanne’s horrible timing.

“I can’t kid.” She barely heard his words as he took the last few steps toward his bike, pulling his helmet over his head quickly and turning the key in the ignition. “I’ll see ya tomorrow.” He called out, just before he backed out of the driveway and took off down the street.


	5. Fathers and Daughters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rox wants to know more about Ethan’s relationship with Ariel, or at least that’s what Ethan thinks is going on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *I am in no way a fan of Ethan and Rox getting together, but for the sake of this story, they’re gonna start to have a fling of sorts. However, I will try to follow as close to canon as possible, so however it happens on the show is likely how it will play out here.

After fleeing Leanne’s house in what he knew was a fit of anger, Ethan had driven around for a bit, unsure of where to go as the hour turned later and the sun set behind the hills. He knew that he should go home and sleep, today had been a whirlwind and he was sure that tomorrow would be just as busy. But then he remembered how quiet and lonely his tiny little house would be without Ariel there, and he had growled out in frustration. He knew it wasn’t his right to get angry about the girl not being at his place, she had a home after all. But he still hated when he had to spend nights away from her.

Pulling up in front of the pub the doctors often visited after shift he figured this was as good a place as any to drown out his sorrows. At least here he didn’t have to drink his beer in silence, or alone. Turning the bike off he quickly hopped to the ground, placing his helmet on the seat with a sigh. He knew probably everyone in this place and he knew that none of them were stupid enough to jack his stuff. Not unless they wanted to deal with him the next day, which he knew none of them did. 

Making his way inside he headed straight for the bar, ordering himself a beer as he pulled his phone from his pocket. He let out a sigh when he saw Ariel’s name on his screen, three missed calls and a text. He knew he had screwed up by leaving like that, but he just couldn’t handle the way it had all gone down. The way Leanne had looked at him with sorrowful eyes. Like she was sorry or something. He knew better. He knew that she was done with him, that he had probably lost his friendship with her for good. But then Ariel had looked at him the same way and he just wanted to run away. So that’s exactly what he did.

“Drinking alone again I see?” He heard Rox’s familiar voice before he saw her and he let out a breath of relief at her friendly presence. 

“Always.” He tilted his beer in her direction before bringing the bottle up to his lips. He took a swig before dropping his head downward, stretching out the aching muscles in his neck. 

“Rough day?” Surely she had to already know the answer to that question. She had watched him punch a guy earlier after all. 

“That’s an understatement.” He let out a sigh as she took a seat on the barstool next to him, her half empty beer bottle going to sit next to his on the wood.

“Wanna talk about it?” He heard his phone ding again from its place on the counter and he let out a growl.

“Not really.” He huffed out as he flipped the object over. Ariel’s name flashed on the screen again and he felt a sudden pang of guilt. He hated that he had become one of those fathers who ran away to the bar to solve his problems, instead of being there for his kid. He hated that he was becoming his father, he swore he would never stoop so low if he had children of his own.

“That your girl?” Her voice was soft and when he shifted his eyes away from the screen and toward her he almost felt a connection. Almost.

“Ariel.” Even saying the girl’s name was hurting him right now. _Dammit he had screwed up._ “We got in a fight earlier.”

“Yeah.” She whispered. “I heard.”

He let out a soft chuckle at her confession. He guessed probably most of the people in Trauma 1 had heard. He and Leanne were quite the fighters if they were anything. And Ariel surely was taking after them in that department as well.

“I’m sure everyone did.” He watched as she shook her head back and forth gently, a small smile forming on her face as she reached out and grabbed her beer.

“Nah.” She took a swig before offering him a wink and he ducked his head back down, his eyes focusing on the object in front of him. 

It dinged again and he let out another sigh.

“You should make sure she’s okay.” Rox said softly. “She’s probably worried about you.”

“She worries too much.” He whispered back. “Gets that from Leanne.”

Rox let out another chuckle and set her bottle back down, bringing her hand to rest against his shoulder instead. He pulled away from her touch, he didn’t want her to get the wrong idea after all. 

“Her mother?” He silently wondered just how much Rox knew about their situation. He guessed it probably wasn’t much. She had only been around for a week. _Not that that wasn’t plenty of time for the big mouths around Angels to spoil all the fun._

“Yeah.” He let out a soft laugh at the thought of Leanne and Ariel being mother and daughter. They surely did play the parts rather well. “She’s a bit of a handful when she wants to be.”

“Aren’t all teenagers?” Her question was light and Ethan was thankful when she dropped her hand back down to the bar, putting some space between them once more.

“Don’t know.” He replied with a chuckle. “She’s my first one.”

Rox let out a soft laugh and Ethan found his eyes being drawn to her. He shook his head back and forth once more. That certainly wasn’t a rabbit hole he wanted to go down right now.

“She your only one?” He was going to guess by her questions that she knew absolutely nothing about him. Which was comforting. At least he could fill in the gaps with what he wanted her to know, rather, what the gossip bunnies thought was important.

“Oh yeah.” He couldn’t help but laugh at that image. He could barely handle Ariel. Hell, he and Leanne together could barely handle Ariel. He couldn’t imagine having another one. 

“That’s good.” She said quietly. “Means she gets all the attention.”

“It’s still probably not enough.” He replied. He grabbed his beer once more and took another swig. He was starting to feel all doubtful again. He knew that Ariel deserved more than she was getting from him. 

“You’d be surprised.” Her words were light and when her eyes caught his there was a hint of understanding there that Ethan couldn’t quite peg. “I was an only child too.” She nudged his arm gently with hers then. “I was also a daddy’s girl.”

He chuckled at her words. Ariel may not have been his biological daughter, but boy did he spoil like she was. He couldn’t imagine what it would have been like if she had come into his life when she was younger. He knew that she wouldn’t have wound up in so much trouble, that’s for sure.

“We fight, a lot.” He didn’t know why he was confiding in her with this information. It really wasn’t any of her business.

“Doesn’t mean you don’t love her.” She whispered back. He knew she was right though. Ariel had to know that he loved her. She had to know that even though he was constantly harping on her that it was just because he cared about her so damn much.

“Sometimes…” He took a deep breath as he closed his eyes. He didn’t know what was possessing him to be so open with this woman. She was still practically a complete stranger. And yet, here he was, telling her things he wouldn’t even dare tell Leanne, or Noa for that matter. _Surely something was wrong with him._ “Sometimes I worry she won’t want to see me anymore.”

“I highly doubt that.” She dropped her hand to his arm and he felt his breath catch in his chest. He couldn’t go there, not with this woman, not with someone who wasn’t Leanne.

“I worry Leanne won’t let me see her anymore.” He whispered his statement before reaching forward to grab his beer, taking another swig from the bottle as he shifted in his seat. This was becoming an awkward conversation and he just wanted to get out of it.

“I don’t think she’d do that.” She said quietly, her body turning toward his as she spoke. He silently willed her to turn back around. Showing that she was the least bit interested in him was not going to bode well for him. “She doesn’t strike me as that kind of woman.”

_If only she knew._ “She’d do anything to protect Ariel.” His voice was so quiet that he almost wondered for a second if had even said his words out loud. 

“She’s a mother.” She squeezed his arm then and he pulled it back quickly, dropping it to his lap as he tightened his grip on his beer bottle. “That’s what mother’s do.”

He didn’t know how to reply. His head was all fuzzy and none of the words he wanted to say made any sense, so he settled for flagging down the bartender for another beer. They sat there in silence for a few minutes, his eyes fixed dead ahead, her eyes fixed on him. A big part of him wanted to get up and walk out, to get on his bike and go back Leanne’s and grovel and plead for their forgiveness. Another part of him wanted to just go home and wallow in his own self-pity. _It’s not like it would be the first time._ But, a very small part of him wanted to stay here, and drink beers with Rox, and talk about how amazing Ariel was with someone who didn’t know otherwise.

“You shouldn’t give up on her.” Rox’s words brought him from his thoughts and he shifted his eyes toward her. “Ariel.” She nodded her head toward his phone, which dinged once more with a new text. “You should keep fighting for her.”

“Always.” He whispered. And it was true. He would always fight for the girl, whether she was his or not. He loved her like she was flesh and blood. Hell, she was the closest thing he had to family right now. He’d be damned if he was going to give up on her. He knew that fighting with Leanne wasn’t helping his cause though and he silently made a vow to try and keep things more civil with her, especially in front of the kid.

He got ready to speak again when he heard someone call his and Rox’s name, and when he turned around Mario was waving them over to his spot across the room. He hesitated for a second, knowing that he shouldn’t stay here. But then Rox was pulling him up and she shot him a shy smile before she grabbed his hand and dragged him across the space and he suddenly didn’t really care much about going home.


	6. Rumor Has It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leanne confronts Ethan about some things she’s been hearing around the water cooler. Mainly, things Jesse’s been saying to her around the water cooler.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Again, I am not in favor of Ethan/Rox, unless it brings Ethan/Leanne together. Which is my ultimate goal with this story. Also, these two are killing me with the angst, and I apologize.

Leanne was completely drained after the events of the past few days and all she wanted to do was sleep off all of the angst and stress that she was feeling. Unfortunately, Jesse had decided that tonight was the perfect night to take her out for dinner and drinks, especially after he found out that she was kid free for the night. They had eaten tacos at Jesse’s favorite little place downtown before heading to the local pub near the hospital for drinks. When they had arrived Jesse spent a good ten minutes combing through the faces in the crowd looking for someone, who she wasn’t exactly sure.

“Who are you looking for Jesse?” She wasn’t sure if she really wanted to know the answer to that question though. And judging by the way his brow furrowed when she asked him that, she guessed she wasn’t going to like the answer.

“I’ve been in this place the past three nights in a row and they’re always here.” He groaned out, plopping into a booth toward the back. 

“Who’s always here Jesse?” She knew that the residents often frequented this place, as did many of the attendees. In fact, she knew that this was one of Ethan’s favorite hang-outs and he had dragged her with him on many a night for a post-work drink.

“Ethan and that new chick.” She felt like someone had slapped her across the face. _The new chick?_

“You mean Rox?” It wasn’t that she wanted to know the answer to that question, but rather, that she was more curious about why Jesse was so concerned with their whereabouts.

“Yeah her.” He pointed at her as he flagged down a waitress and ordered two beers. He gestured for her to sit but she couldn’t help but let her eyes wander around the crowded space for the two familiar faces. She knew damn well that Ethan had picked Ariel up from school, and they had made plans to go see some new movie with Noa and Mario. She didn’t believe for a second that he was stupid enough to ditch the kid, not when he had promised her that she could spend the weekend with him.

“What about them Jesse?” She watched as he lifted an eyebrow at her, leaning back against the booth with a sigh.

“I think they’re…” He swallowed before continuing and she could tell that he was struggling to get the words out.

“They’re what Jesse?” She really didn’t care what they were, Ethan was a grown man, he could do whatever he wanted. As long as he didn’t fuck over Ariel, she didn’t much care. _Did she?_

“I think they might be dating.” He rushed his words all together and she felt her heart stop in her chest. She didn’t know why she cared so much. She didn’t know why Jesse cared so much either.

“And why would that bother me?” _Yeah, Leanne, why does that bother you?_

“I thought you two were…” He gestured around him like a crazy man and Leanne couldn’t stop herself from shaking her head back and forth with a sigh, “a thing?”

She choked on the sip of her beer she had taken with his words. _He thought they were a what?!_ She eyed him suspiciously from across the table and when he cast his eyes downward toward his beer she knew something was up.

“No Jesse, Ethan and I are not, a thing.” _Not that she didn’t want to be a thing with him._ Hell, she wanted to be everything with him. But she certainly couldn’t admit that to Jesse, or Ethan, especially after everything that had happened the past few months.

“Ooookay.” He didn’t sound very convinced but she knew that he would drop it if she did. Taking another sip of her beer she eyed her best-friend as she waited for him to speak. She knew that Jesse just had her best interest in mind, that the only thing he was worried about was protecting her. However, that didn’t stop her from wondering why he seemed so concerned with Ethan’s apparent new love life. _She also didn’t understand why she cared so much about his new apparent love life._

—

Jesse had driven Leanne home that night in silence, and while she was thankful that the conversation about Ethan and the new girl hadn’t come back up, she also wanted to badger Jesse for any and all information he may have had in regards to the “couple”. However, he never brought it back up, and after depositing her at home with a quiet ‘good night’ he had left without another word. She had been thankful that Ariel wasn’t home because she was sure that bringing up the idea of Ethan with another woman would’ve sparked some tension between her and the young girl.

She knew that Ariel was their biggest fan, both individually and together, and she couldn’t imagine having to deliver news like that to her. After showering and pulling her pajamas on she had crawled into bed and prayed for an easy night’s rest. Unfortunately, her prayers weren’t answered and she spent the whole night tossing and turning. No matter how hard she tried, no matter how much she wished and willed it away, she couldn’t get the image of Ethan and Rox out of her head. _And it drove her insane!_

She finally fell asleep around four in the morning, but she was woken up a few hours later by some unknown feeling. Something in her gut was twisting and it was gnawing away at her. She didn’t understand it, and she certainly didn’t like it. She tried to fight it off, but it was no use. She had to get to the bottom of this and she had to do it now.

‘Are you two a thing now?’ She typed out her text to Ethan and hit send before she even really knew what she was doing.

‘Excuse me?’ Was all she got in regards to a reply. She was thankful that he was awake. Although she quickly realized that she had probably been the one to wake him.

‘You and the new girl.’ She hated it when he played stupid.

‘What about me and the new girl?’ Was he really that dense? Did he not understand what she was going for here?

‘Jesse told me that you two have been at the bar together a few times.’ She prayed that he wouldn’t go after Jesse and drag him into this too.

‘And…?’ She could tell that he was mad. And the last thing she wanted was another fight with him. However, she just couldn’t help herself.

‘He said you’ve been looking pretty cozy together.’ She didn’t even know where those words came from. Jesse had said no such thing to her, in fact, he hadn’t done anything other than suggest that they were together. She was making all of this up and she was certain that Ethan knew it.

‘Is there a point to this conversation. It’s early and I haven’t had any coffee yet.’ She guessed that he was probably still in bed at this hour. She wondered if Rox was there with him. Surely he wasn’t stupid enough to have her spend the night when Ariel was asleep down the hall.

‘You and Rox?’ She knew she was just acting plain crazy at this point.

‘What about me and Rox?’ She could practically hear the way his voice dragged out in frustration at her words.

‘Are. You. Dating?’ She really just wanted an answer. Either a ‘yes’ or a ‘no’ so that she could at least have some closure. However, if he answered ‘yes’ she knew that there would certainly be no sleep in her future.

‘No.’ Was all he sent back and she felt her heart beat level out a little at the simple word. She was thankful for small favors right now

‘But you two have been out before?’ She couldn’t stop herself could she? She knew that she was just digging herself into an even deeper hole with him. One she’d probably never get herself out of.

‘We’ve had a few drinks together.’ He was being very matter-of-fact and that scared her. She could tell he was getting upset and that he was starting to shut down on her. She knew that feeling all to well when it came to Ethan.

‘What about last night?’ She wondered if he had dumped Ariel with Noa and Mario and run off with this chick. She honestly wouldn’t have been surprised by anything he did at this point.

‘What about it?’ And yet…

‘Did you go out with her?’ She couldn’t believe that she was having to have this conversation with him. This was driving her absolutely insane.

‘No Leanne.’ He said ‘no’, now she should just leave the conversation at that.

‘Are you positive?’ But she couldn’t stop herself from poking the sleeping bear.

‘YES! … I took Ariel to the movie. We came home and ate Chinese food in our pajamas while Mario made a fool of himself playing video games. Noa made s’mores and almost burnt the house down. We went to bed. End. Of. Story.’ She could almost hear him growling at his words to her. 

‘Did she come over?’ She knew that that was also a possibility. Ariel probably crashed early enough that they still could’ve hooked up after the teen was asleep.

‘Jesus Christ Leanne! No! I haven’t seen her since Thursday night.’ At this point she wondered if there was secretly a part of her that just wanted to piss him off because she wasn’t able to control herself anymore.

‘When you two went out?’ Yeah, on their date. She knew it.

‘Yes! We had a few beers with Angus and that annoying new kid.’ Okay, so maybe they went on their date with a few strays. It wouldn’t be the first time.

‘Did you take her home?’ She wondered if Rox had ridden on the back of the bike yet. She bet he’d probably get a kick out of that.

‘No.’ So maybe she went home with him instead.

‘Did she go home with you?’ She was pretty certain that if Ariel had gotten wind of the other woman having been in Ethan’s house she would’ve lost her mind already.

‘No! For the last time Leanne, we’re not dating!’ Okay. He’d confirmed it multiple times now. She really needed to stop herself.

‘I don’t believe you. … What you two are doing is the definition of dating.’ But then again…

‘Leanne… if that’s the definition of dating than I’m also dating Noa. And Mario. And Angus. And you for the matter… and I surely don’t roll that way. I’m strictly a one woman at a time kind of guy. And right now. I have no woman. Save for you.’ He was trying to charm his way out of this, but she wouldn’t fall for it this time. Nope, she surely would not.

‘Is. She. There. Now?’ She could almost picture the woman in his bed, reading their texts over his shoulder, rolling her eyes at her as she tried to pull him away. She wanted to be sick at the thought. She was the only woman who should be in his bed.

‘No! She’s not in my bed Leanne. There’s no other woman here. If it isn’t you, it’s no one. You know that.’ She almost wondered if he could read her mind.

‘I don’t believe you!’ But if that was the case he probably would’ve driven over to her place by now and shook some sense into her.

‘Ask your daughter Leanne. She’s asleep down the hall. Do you really think I’d be stupid enough to have a strange woman sleeping in my bed when our kid here?’ He had a good point there. She knew that he was a more responsible parent than that. Despite the fact that he almost let their 15 year old get on the back of his motorcycle a few days ago.

‘You’re unbelievable.’ She was just poking him for the hell of it now.

‘Me? You’re the one freaking out because I’m not dating someone.’ And yet, he was right once again. She didn’t know why this was bothering her so much. She really didn’t.

‘Looks and sounds like dating to me.’ And it did, she was pretty sure that what they were doing was the definition of dating. At least in her eyes it was anyway.

‘If you’re gonna say that I’m sleeping with every woman that I have a few beers with than we’re gonna have issues.’ It wasn’t just that he was having beers with her. It was that he was having them quite often with her. And she had watched the two of them together lately. They joked a lot, and he enjoyed it. She used to be the only one who could make him laugh that way.

‘Ethan…’ She didn’t know why she was pleading with him at this point.

‘Don’t ‘Ethan’ me… because if that’s the case, than we should be on year two of our marriage. And Noa and I should at least be going steady at this point.’ Oh good God why did he have to go there. Enough people already said that they were married, which she would never understand. And she had gotten incredibly tired of explaining to patients that ‘no, the husband man making heart eyes at her was not her husband’. 

‘You’re such a child!’ There, that should shut him up.

‘Me??? This is ridiculous Leanne. It’s 6 in the morning. Go back to bed.’ Or maybe not.

‘I’m coming to get Ariel.’ She didn’t know where that had come from. She most certainly wasn’t crawling out of her super comfy bed at 6:35am to get the teen. There was no way in hell she was that stupid.

‘Why?’ She wondered why she had said that herself.

‘Because I don’t want her there.’ And that was also a bold faced lie.

‘Fine. You try dragging her ass out of bed before 11 on a Saturday. And then you can explain to her why she’s not getting to spend the day spending all my money at the mall. You wanna deal with teenage angst this early, be my guest.’ He had another good point. There was no way she was going to deal with Ariel after having to deliver such bad news to the teen. She knew that she would be devastated.

‘I see the way you look at her.’ Maybe changing the subject would help.

‘Are we talking about Rox again?’ Or maybe it wouldn’t.

‘Yes. Who else would I be talking about?’ She wondered if her sarcasm was coming across in these texts as well as she hoped.

‘Why are you so hung up on this?’ She honestly didn’t know why she was so hung up on the idea of him and Rox dating. He was an adult after all. He could make his own stupid choices.

‘Because it’s ridiculous.’ And it was.

‘What is? The thought of me dating someone that isn’t you? You had your chance Leanne. You wanted out. You don’t get to make the rules anymore.’ Well that was a low blow, especially for him.

‘Why are you doing this?’ She could feel tears pricking at her eyes and she blinked them repeatedly, praying that they would vanish before she turned into a pile of mush.

‘Doing what?! Defending myself?’ And that’s exactly what he was doing and she knew that she had no right to be angry with him for it.

‘Seeing her.’ But she could be angry at him for that.

‘I’m not seeing her Leanne!’ Even though he kept confirming that for her she still didn’t buy it.

‘You can’t. You can’t date her you know.’ She didn’t even know who she was at this point. She sounded like a spoiled teenager. She sounded like Ariel trying to defend one of her stupid choices to her.

‘Says who?!’ Yeah, Leanne, says who?

‘There are rules.’ She knew damn well there weren’t any damn rules. She suspected he probably did too. She was sure that he had probably done all of his research about those sorts of things before he started trying to win her over. Not that he had to do much work in that department.

‘Made up by who? You? Campbell? Because let me tell you, I ain’t afraid of Campbell.’ She knew he wasn’t afraid of Campbell, though she thought that he probably should be. At least a little.

‘It’s wrong.’ And it was wrong. He didn’t belong with Rox. He belonged with her. That was that.

‘Leanne this is stupid and you know it. You’re literally picking a fight just to pick one at this point. I told you, we’re not dating! We’re not sleeping together, we’re not even thinking about it. We’re friends. We’ve had a few drinks. We’ve talked. That’s it. And if… and I mean if… that ever changes, it’s none of your business.’ She was his best-friend though, didn’t that make it her business who he was dating? Or had she lost that role as well?

‘If it affects Ariel it is.’ She knew that Ethan would never put anything before the girl. Never. And she was stupid to bring it up.

‘You damn well know it won’t. I would never put her in a situation that made her uncomfortable. Never.’ She knew that was coming. He would defend that girl until the day he died, hell, he would die defending her if he had too. She knew that much.

‘She won’t be happy.’ And she wouldn’t be. She would be devastated. But Leanne had compared it to how most children of divorced parents want their parents to get back together eventually, to rebuild their family. She had told Ariel that it just wasn’t going to happen that way. Although she still didn’t understand why it couldn’t happen herself.

‘Maybe not. But I won’t lock myself away and wait for you to get yourself together. She knows how I feel Leanne. And so do you. But I won’t keep putting my life on hold.’ Well at least he was finally being honest with her about something.

‘Screw you Ethan!’ And yet, she chose to respond like an angry toddler.

‘You keep bringing that up and yet…’ She knew his mind would go there, it always did.

‘You wish.’ She wondered if he still thought about her like that. She certainly still thought of him in that light, probably more often than not. Especially lately.

‘Some days I still do. Some days I wonder how I haven’t managed to wring your neck yet.’ Well that wasn’t very nice, although, it was probably pretty accurate.

‘The same could be said for you.’ And it could be. Some days she wanted to make sweet, passionate love to the man. Other days she wanted to inject him with something that would make him sleep for days on end.

‘At least I’ll admit that I’m impossible.’ Impossible was an understatement at this point. The man was downright unbelievable. She couldn’t handle it.

‘Impossible is an understatement.’ And she had no problem letting him know it either.

There were finally a few minutes of silence, her phone laying silently against her chest as she stared at the ceiling above her. She wondered if her statement had made him angry enough to leave the conversation without saying goodbye. She doubted it though.

‘See. This. This is why we work.’ Stared back at her the next time her phone dinged and she had to re-read the message at least four times before responding.

‘Excuse me?’ She wasn’t sure what exactly he meant by that statement but her heart started racing at his words.

‘We fight like an old married couple and yet we always come back to each other.’ Again, he had another valid point and she hated it. They did fight like an old married couple. An old married couple that wanted to bury the other in the backyard, but still, an old married couple. 

‘That’s what friends do Ethan.’ She could also say the same thing for her and Jesse though. Right?

‘No. That’s what people who are in love do.’ Dammit, she was hoping he wouldn’t go there.

‘Shut up.’ She hoped he’d stop with this conversation now. It was getting awkward.

‘You know I’m right.’ It was getting awkward mainly because he was right.

‘I’ll never admit to such a thing.’ And she wouldn’t. She would never admit to being in love with him. Nope. No matter how much he badgered her about it. It wouldn’t happen.

‘Admit it. I’m right. We belong together. You know it. I know it. Ariel knows it. Hell, Angels in it’s entirety knows it.’ And maybe everyone did know it. But it wouldn’t work. It wouldn’t last. They would destroy each other. Even more so than they already had. And she couldn’t fathom that.

‘I’m going back to bed Ethan. Arguing with you has taken years off of my life.’ And that part was true too. She felt like she had aged 100 years in the past thirty minutes alone.

‘Sweet dreams ;)’ There he went with those damn emojis again. She was going to have to have a chat with Ariel about showing him how those worked.

‘Well they certainly won’t be of you then.’ She was lying and they both knew it. She dreamed about him constantly. And while they weren’t always dirty, the majority of them were. Sometimes she just wanted to hook up with him to see if he was as good as her mind made him out to be. But then she had to do a double take because she knew he was probably 100 times better.

‘You wound me.’ She knew he was joking. She had said much worse things to him than that.

‘Oh please.’ She let out a yawn as she snuggled closer under the covers. She knew that now that they were no longer officially fighting she would be able to go back to sleep.

‘Leanne…?’ She didn’t know what he wanted this time, but she wanted to reach through the phone and slap him. She had just gotten comfortable and closed her eyes.

‘Whaaat?’ She also started to doze off. She wanted to make that point to him too, but then his next text came through and she stopped herself.

‘<3’ Nothing but a heart stared back at her and she rolled her eyes at his response. He was good, real good.

‘Goodbye Ethan!’ She typed out, another yawn taking over. She rolled over onto her side and eyed the phone waiting for his response.

‘Goodbye love.’ She shook her head back and forth as she blinked back the tears in her eyes. This man was surely going to be the death of her, and she had yet to decide if that was a good thing or not.


	7. Of All the Crazy Things

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ethan hadn't exactly planned to jump into that lake and pull that man from the car. He had also never planned on Leanne finding out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I guess slight **spoilers for 3x02** although it does slightly diverge from canon.

Ethan hadn’t exactly planned on jumping into a lake tonight. And he most certainly hadn’t planned on dragging a body out of the water with him. But above all else, he hadn’t planned on Leanne finding out about his daring actions. And he most certainly hadn’t planned on Ariel finding out as well. Although, in hindsight, he should’ve guessed that he couldn’t hide stuff like this from them. Not anymore, not with so many nosy people at Angels who were well aware of their, issues.

He and Rox had shown up at Angels with the senator and his staffer and he had quickly made his move to rush the man to center stage. But when he exited the ambulance, there stood Leanne, in all her terrifying glory, and he forgot how to move. He knew he looked ridiculous, soaked to the bone and still slightly out of breath from his endeavor. But the look on Leanne’s face was one of sheer panic, nothing more, nothing less, and he felt his heart clench in his chest.

Before he had time to speak though she was dragging the closest gurney through the doors, her eyes shooting one last longing look in his direction before she was gone. He had hopped out of the ambulance and gotten ready to speak when Jesse held up a hand.

“Say no more.” Was all the head nurse muttered to him as he grabbed hold of the next gurney, his eyes giving Ethan a once over. “You might want to change before the kid sees you like that though.”

He had gotten ready to speak when Rox had screamed his name, and the idea of changing vanished from his mind as he rushed to her side. They worked tirelessly for a what felt like hours, but when he checked the time on his watch as he stepped away from center stage, it had only been 45 minutes. He started to make his way toward his locker when he heard a gasp from behind him, and he felt his breath catch. _Ariel._

“What… What happened?” Her voice shook as she asked him the inevitable, making her way toward him slowly. But then Leanne was there and she stepped between them and all eyes in Trauma One went to them. He hated all the attention their fighting was bringing them. _Absolutely fucking hated it._

“Ariel, honey, come on.” Leanne took the girl’s arm gently in her hands and steered her in the opposite direction before Ethan could get a word in edge wise. He wondered who Leanne was trying to protect. Him or her. Or maybe both of them, he didn’t really know.

The next time he saw either one of them he was walking through the parking garage toward his Jeep and they were bidding Jesse a good night a few spaces away. He had nodded his head in their direction, his eyes misting over as he thought about how much he just wanted to go home with them both. He most certainly didn’t want to go home to his quiet, empty house. Not when his heart was still racing in his chest and he was surely going to have nightmares about drowning.

He had made it home in record time, the traffic light thanks to the late hour. He wondered if Leanne and Ariel had made it home safe. If they had stopped for dinner or had gone home and cooked. He wished more than anything that he had been there to find out. Making his way inside the small house he locked the door behind him, dropping his bag to the floor before heading toward his room in the dark. He showered and pulled on sweatpants and a t-shirt without a second thought, and he was debating ordering a pizza when he heard the doorbell ring.

“Who in the world?” He muttered under his breath, his eyes shifting toward the clock on the oven. It was 10:45 at night and Ethan couldn’t possibly fathom who would be at his door at this late hour. Sighing, he dropped his phone to the counter before making his way toward the front of the house. When he opened the door, he was pleasantly surprised to see his two favorite girls standing on the other side, a large pizza box in the young girl’s hands.

“We thought you could use some dinner.” Ariel’s words were soft and Ethan couldn’t help it as his lips turned upward at her words. 

“I was just about to order something.” He leaned against the door frame and shifted his eyes from the blonde to the brunette behind her. 

“Great minds think alike.” Leanne whispered, her eyes catching his briefly before she dropped them back down to the porch.

“That they do.” He whispered back. He wanted nothing more than to kiss her right then and there, Ariel present or not, he thought she was the most adorable thing he’d ever seen. “Wanna come in?”

“Yes please!” Ariel’s voice was giddy as she pushed past them and into the small house, making her way straight for the giant couch in Ethan’s living room. She deposited the pizza box on the small coffee table before toeing off her tennis shoes and climbing onto the plush leather object. She grabbed the TV remote without a second thought and was already scrolling through the channels when Ethan and Leanne joined her.

“Make yourself at home why don’t you?” Leanne’s voice was soft, yet playful, and Ethan let out a chuckle when Ariel just rolled her eyes at the woman.

“She’s fine.” He said lightly, bumping her shoulder with his. “You should do the same.” He nodded toward the couch and offered her a soft smile. “I’ll get the drinks.”

She opened her mouth like she was going to respond, but nothing came out. Instead, she simply nodded her head before making her way toward the teen. She dropped onto the opposite end of the couch, her own shoes falling off as she leaned back against the cushions. Ethan watched as she let out a soft sigh, her eyes closing briefly as she tucked her legs up under her. Never in a million years did he think he’d be lucky enough to have them both here again, at the same time, willingly. 

After grabbing three drinks from the fridge: a water for Leanne, a soda for Ariel, and a beer for himself, he made his way back into the room just in time to hear Leanne let out a frustrated growl at something Ariel had said. He let out a soft chuckle when the teen dropped her head back against the cushions and let out a sigh, these two were surely the cutest things he had ever seen.

“Everything okay?” He asked softly, handing out each drink before he took his seat between them on the couch. He leaned forward and opened the pizza box, grabbing a slice quickly before leaning back against the cushion.

“Don’t you at least want a napkin?” Leanne’s question took him off guard and he turned his head toward her despite the pizza slice currently hanging out of his mouth. She rolled her eyes at him and he watched as she rose from the couch, heading to the kitchen in her bare feet. 

“You’re ridiculous.” Ariel muttered from next to him. But then she too was grabbing a piece of pizza from the box and taking a bite, groaning when she lost a pepperoni.

“Oh for the love of God.” Leanne hadn’t been gone more than thirty seconds and yet they had both already managed to make a mess of themselves. “It’s like dealing with toddlers.” She groaned out, handing them both a paper towel as she shifted her eyes between them both.

“Really, really large but cute toddlers.” Ethan joked back. He couldn’t help but smile when Leanne shook her head back and forth before returning to her spot next to him. He watched as she carefully took a piece out of the box, holding it delicately over her napkin before taking a tiny bite. He guessed that maybe he and Ariel had been a little over zealous in their eating, but, if the teen had had a day like him, she probably hadn’t eaten much of anything since that morning.

They had eaten in relative silence, save for a comment or two in regards to the cooking show Ariel had put it on. Ethan had risen from the couch to clear the pizza out of the way and when he returned he noticed that Ariel’s eyes were closed and she was curled up against the arm of the couch. He couldn’t help but smile at how sweet and innocent she looked there, how young and fragile. He had missed having them both here at the same time. Evenings like this used to be a regular occurrence for them and he wasn’t exactly sure when they had stopped them, but he sure knew that he missed them. Making his way into the room quietly he took his seat between the two girls again and eyed the teen softly.

“She must be exhausted.” He whispered, reaching behind him to grab the blanket, covering her body gently before settling back against the couch cushions.

“She had a long day.” Leanne whispered back. Ethan was shocked when he felt her head fall to his shoulder with a soft sigh. “I think we all did.”

“Ain’t that the truth.” He yawned as if to emphasis his point and he moved his arm to wrap around her shoulders, pulling her closer as he sank back against the leather, his legs stretching out to rest on the table in front of them.

Leanne didn’t say anything back, rather she seemed to relax against him instead, her left arm falling to rest against his leg as her eyes closed softly. He watched her for a minute, wondering if she would suddenly wake up and realize what she was doing. It certainly wouldn’t be the first time that they had shared a moment like this. It also wouldn’t be the first time that they fell asleep like this. But since everything had happened, since everything had changed, she hadn’t really wanted much of anything to do with him, and it broke his heart in two.

“We should get going.” She whispered softly, her hand squeezing his knee gently as she lifted her head from his shoulder. He let out a sigh at the loss of contact.

“No. Stay.” He didn’t know where those words had come from, he didn’t know what possessed him to respond so quickly and almost harshly. But he did know that he didn’t want them to leave, he never wanted them to leave in fact. “There’s room for you both.”

“No Ethan.” She sighed softly as she moved to stand. She tried to step around him but he reached forward and took her arm in his hands. “Let go Ethan.” Her voice was soft, but he could sense the frustration forming in her voice. He wondered how quickly everything had gone to shit. That seemed to happen with her a lot lately.

“Leanne, please.” He looked up at her then, hoping that the pleading look in his eyes would do the trick. He really, really needed them to stay.

“We’ve been here late enough Ethan.” She whispered. “She has school tomorrow.”

“So, we can take her together, before work.” He wanted to throw in there ‘like the old days’ but he wasn’t looking for that kind of fight right now.

Leanne just shook her head at his words though and stepped around the table with a sigh. She knelt down in front of Ariel, her hand going out to her shoulder as she shook her gently. The girl let out a small huff, her eyes blinking rapidly as she came to. When she caught sight of Leanne in front of her she let out a sigh and snuggled back under the blanket, her eyes closing once more.

“I’m not leaving.” She whispered, her eyes remaining closed as she wrapped her arms around herself.

“Ariel, honey, we have to get going.” Leanne was trying her hardest not to angry, he could tell, but he knew that the teen’s stubbornness was going to get to her.

“Why?” Ariel’s question was harsh as her eyes shot open and she glared at the woman in front of her. “Why do we have to leave?”

“Because.” Ethan knew that that wasn’t going to go over well.

“Because why?” He knew this was about to get ugly and he wanted so badly to interject, but he knew better. Instead, he reached out and squeezed Ariel’s leg before giving her a solemn look. He stood then, shooting Leanne a soft glance before he retreated into the kitchen with a sigh.

“Ariel please.” Leanne was pleading now, Ethan could hear it in her tone, and while he knew that he shouldn’t be eavesdropping, he couldn’t help myself. He was really, really curious to see what excuse she used this time.

“Why don’t you want to stay Leanne?” Ariel’s question was soft and Ethan almost didn’t hear it, but he could hear the sadness in the girl’s tone. He hated fighting with Leanne, but more than anything, he hated how his fighting with Leanne was causing the teen to suffer. She didn’t deserve this, none of it, and she certainly didn’t deserve to be pulled in two directions at once.

“Because it’s not my place.” He didn’t understand Leanne’s logic, not that he understood any of what she did here lately, and he wondered for a minute if she was being literal or figurative.

“But he said it was fine.” The teen’s words were whiny and he knew that she was beyond tired. She often took on the persona of a cranky preschooler when she didn’t get enough sleep. Leanne always thought it was annoying, he on the other hand, thought it was downright adorable.

“It’s not right Ariel.” _What in the hell did she even mean by that?_

“No. What’s not right is that you’re walking around denying your feelings for him.” Well at least the teen seemed to grasp what the hell was going on around here, because he was sure as fuck confused.

“Ariel...” He knew Leanne was losing her patience, he could hear it in her words, in the way her voice shook as she talked to the girl. He wanted nothing more than to tuck them both into bed and just end this horrifically long day.

“No Leanne. Stop.” He very rarely heard Ariel get downright bossy with Leanne, but this was one of those times. She really was reminding him more and more of the older woman with every day. “You know you want to be here. You know you need him close after today. Just like I do.”

“That’s not...” He wondered if Leanne was really still struggling with her feelings for him, or if she was just over him completely. He was having an incredibly hard time deciphering that these days.

“He needs us both Leanne. Why can’t you see that?” The teen had a point. He did need them, both of them, and if there was ever a day where he didn’t want to fall asleep in a house while all alone, this was one of them.

“I don’t think Ethan’s ever needed anyone in his entire life.” He couldn’t believe Leanne would say that. Surely she knew better, surely she knew just how much they meant to him. How much he loved and cared for them both.

“But I think he needs us. Especially right now.” Part of him was surprised by how well the teen seemed to get him these days. Sometimes he thought that maybe she knew him better than he knew himself. “Please. Just for tonight?”

“Fine. You can stay honey.” Leanne’s voice dropped as she spoke and Ethan felt his heart stop in his chest. He didn’t understand why she didn’t want to stay too. Surely she didn’t want to be alone tonight either. “But I’m going home.”

He heard Ariel let out a sigh and then he heard her rise from the couch. She padded into the kitchen quietly, her eyes misty with tears, and she leaned against the doorframe and eyed him softly.

“She doesn’t wanna stay.” She whispered, wrapping her arms around herself.

“I know kid.” He whispered back. He took a few steps forward, closing the distance between them as he pulled the girl into his arms. She readily hugged him back, her arms tightening around his waist as he placed a kiss against her blonde locks. “You go get some sleep.”

She nodded her head against his chest before pulling back slowly. She sniffled then, reaching up to wipe the tears from her eyes with her right hand, and he felt tears prick at his own eyes. Whether she was his kid biologically or not, his heart still broke every time she was upset, especially if he knew that he was behind it somehow. He squeezed her shoulders then, dropping another kiss to her forehead before pulling back. She offered him a sad smile before turning from him, making her way toward the room down the hall that had very quickly become ‘hers’. 

He let out a sigh as he made his way into the living room. Leanne was pulling her shoes back on when he entered and he stopped and watched her for a second. He could see the way her body was trembling, probably with anger and sadness, but mostly with exhaustion, and he just wanted her to stop for five minutes and think about the logical thing to do here.

“Kid tells me you don’t wanna stay.” He whispered from his spot in the doorway.

“It’s not like that Ethan.” She turned to face him then, her eyes glossy with unshed tears. He wanted to pull her into his arms and hold her tight and never let her go.

“Then humor me.” He really was curious as to what her reasoning was this time. It’s not like she had to go home, there was nothing calling her name there, especially not since Ariel was staying with him for the night.

“I don’t belong here.” He barely heard her words but they broke his heart all the same. Of course she belonged here. If there was ever a place that she did belong, it was here, with them.

“Like hell you do.” He really didn’t understand where her newfound obsession with being as far away from his as possible had come from.

“Excuse me?” _Okay, so maybe he shouldn’t have been so harsh with his last choice of words._

“Are you really that scared to spend the night with me?” It certainly wouldn’t be the first time they had spent the night together. And while things had never gone any further than cuddling and a few forehead kisses, his best nights had been spent with her in his arms.

“I don’t know what you think is going to happen Ethan.” He didn’t know what he thought was going to happen either, but then again, he wasn’t the one afraid of staying the night.

“I don’t think anything is going to happen Leanne.” And he was telling the truth. He knew damn well that nothing was going to happen. Even if she wanted it too. Because that wasn’t who he was, especially not with her. “But it seems to me that maybe you do.”

“Look, Ariel can stay Ethan. It’s fine.” He could hear the defeated tone in her voice. He knew that she was close to losing it, which meant that she was also pretty close to giving in to him. “I’ll see you both at work tomorrow.”

He didn’t waste any time then, his legs carrying him the short distance between them before he really knew what he was doing. He heard her let out a sigh as he stopped in front of her, his arms going out to pull her to him. She hesitated at first, staying rigid in his arms as he pulled her tightly to his chest. He dropped a kiss to her head and that’s when he felt it, her body going lax in his arms, as if the weight of the world had finally been lifted off of her shoulders. He smiled softly as her arms wrapped around his waist and he prayed to God that they were taking a step in the right direction. 

“Stay.” He whispered against her brown curls.

“No.” She whispered back, her shoulders tightening in his arms. He could practically feel the tension returning to her body.

“Please.” He whispered again, his head falling to rest against hers, his lips pressing a gentle kiss against her ear. He felt her shudder in his arms and he couldn’t help but smirk at the fact that he still had some affect on her.

“No.” She practically growled her answer back at him and when he pulled away to rest his forehead against hers he could see her struggling to keep her eyes open.

“I promise I’ll keep my hands to myself.” He hoped that maybe a little humor would help the situation.

“Ethan...” Her frustrated groan of his name told him that maybe it wasn’t the best choice.

“Unless that’s not what you want.” And honestly, at this point, if she wanted him to run his hands over her entire body all night long he gladly would. He just wanted her in his bed with him, he didn’t care whether or not they were fully clothed or completely naked.

“Ethan...” He could see the glint of humor in her eyes, but her tone was still low and angry.

“Please.” He whispered. He could tell his eyes were sad and desperate, he could practically see them reflected in hers, but he didn’t care. “I need you here just as much as I need her here.”

“You can call me if you need me Ethan.” Her words stung, but he knew what she meant.

“It’s not the same.” And it really wasn’t. Talking to her on the phone wasn’t the same as waking up to her in his bed. He’d take having his arms around her, their legs tangled together under the sheets, over listening to silence over the line any day.

“Same as what?” Surely she knew what he was referring too. He could see the way her eyes had softened, as if she was having the same thoughts as him.

“Having you in my arms.” He whispered. He was tempted to lean down and kiss her then, but he refrained, praying that maybe he could sweet talk his way out of her beating him up.

“Yeah well...” He didn’t know what she meant by that. Surely being in his arms was nicer than, well, not.

“Well what? You can’t tell me this isn’t nice?” He wanted her to be honest with him for once in her life.

“Ethan please.” Her pleading was starting to make him wonder if asking her to stay was a good idea. Because even though he wanted her in his arms, he didn’t want her to completely lose it and walk out on him for good.

“Do me a favor?” He asked lightly, his eyes locking with hers as he held her in place in front of him.

“What?” He could hear her aggravation, the way her voice caught with the simple word, the way she was starting to lose patience with him once again.

“Take a deep breath.” He whispered.

“If this an attempt to distract me so you can try and kiss me,” He couldn’t help but chuckle at her words. He had tried that once, but he had failed, he should’ve known that she was quicker than him, “it won’t work.”

“Very funny.” He gave her a gentle smile before squeezing her shoulders. “Take a deep breath.” He said softly, his eyes silently pleading with her to follow his instructions. 

She was still for a minute, her brown eyes searching his gray for something. For what, he didn’t know, but he guessed that maybe she found it because the next thing he knew she was taking a deep breath, her eyes closing briefly as he felt her body relax in his arms.

“Now what?” Her question was soft, as were her eyes, and he swore that he could’ve gotten lost in her right then and there.

“Be honest with me.” He whispered his plea, praying that she would finally give in to him. For once in her life, he wanted her to just listen to her heart and do what she knew was right.

“About what?” She asked softly. Her hands moved from where they were hanging at her sides to rest on his chest and he felt himself shiver at her touch. 

“Do you want to stay?” He whispered. He watched as she struggled to find words, as the wheels in her head turned as she tried to find a way out of this once again.

“Ethan...” He dropped his head to hers with a soft sigh, his lips pressing against the cool skin of her temple as he tugged her close.

“Do. You. Want. To. Stay?” He punctuated each word as he moved to press kisses along her head and down her neck. He had made it the juncture of her neck and shoulder when he felt her hands first around his t-shirt. He chuckled against the exposed skin as she tilted her head to the side. Whether she meant to or not, he would never know.

“Yes.” She whispered, her body shivering as he kissed his way back up her neck, his hands gripping her hips tightly as he tried to bring her even closer.

“Then why won’t you?” He pressed his forehead against hers once more, his eyes boring into hers as he tried to read her, tried so desperately to understand her.

“Because.” That was one hell of an excuse she had there.

“Because why?” He nudged her nose with his and squeezed her jean covered hips gently. All he wanted to do right now was kiss her, and it was honestly taking all of his self control not to.

“Because it’s you.” _Well jeez thanks Leanne._ “And me. And...” She was rambling now, not making any sense, a sure fire sign that she had lost it somewhere along the line. He wondered if maybe his kisses had done the trick. Or maybe it was the heat that was radiating off of them both.

“And you’re afraid one or both of us won’t be able to control ourselves?” He understood her worry full and well. He knew that she was tempting, very tempting, and he had found himself having to gain back his control at the most random of times when it came to her. 

She didn’t reply though, just nodded her head at his question and he could see the fight taking place behind her eyes. She wanted this. She wanted him. He could tell. But he could also tell how absolutely terrified she was, and that was doing things to his heart, and his head.

“I promise nothing will happen that you don’t consent too.” He whispered, and he meant it. He’d never do a thing she didn’t want. Ever. He might joke with her about it. He might even tease her or tickle her, but he would never put his hands anywhere she wasn’t okay with. 

“I’m not worried about that Ethan.” Her words were comforting. It was good to know that she wasn’t afraid of him hurting her like that. “I know you would never...”

“I mean it.” He whispered back. He nudged her nose again with his, bringing her focus back to him as he spoke quietly. “Not even a hug. No kisses. Nothing. If you’re not comfortable with it, it doesn’t happen.”

“Where will I sleep then?” He felt like her question was a little unnecessary. _She didn’t really think that he was going to make her sleep outside or something did she?_

“My bed is plenty big enough for us both.” And it was true. He didn’t have a California King for nothing. Hell, he could probably fit five people in that bed with room to spare. Surely they could share the space. 

“You really think you can control yourself if we’re that close.” He was seriously starting to wonder if she was the one who was having issues with controlling herself.

“I have before haven’t I?” And it was true. They had spent many a night together in the same bed and yet they had never once crossed that line. It’s not that he didn’t want too, and he surely guessed that she was probably pretty willing to do so too, but he didn’t want to rush anything and he didn’t want to do anything she wasn’t okay with, so he had behaved himself.

“I...” He knew then that he had caught her. That she was all out of lies and excuses. He could see it in her eyes, in the way her hands relaxed against his shirt once more.

She let out a soft sigh and he pulled her into his arms once more, hugging her tightly against his chest. He let out a breath when he felt her relax in his arms, her hands going to rest against his back, moving in soothing circles. This was all he wanted right now, all he needed. 

“Please stay Leanne. I just want my girls close tonight. That’s all I’m asking.” He whispered against her head. “I’ll sleep on the couch if I have too. I just want you both here. Please.”

“Okay.” He barely heard her reply but when she squeezed him in her arms he knew exactly what she was agreeing too.

“Thank you.” He dropped a kiss to her head then, one hand going to tangle in her hair as the other settled against her waist. 

He could honestly have stood there and held her all night but his back was starting to ache from the days adventures and he could feel the tremors in her body starting to rise. He knew they both needed sleep. He knew they both needed to be together. Pulling away from her he dropped his arms downward, his right hand reaching out to take her left. She raised an eyebrow at him when he tugged gently and he offered her the softest of smiles.

“Trust me?” He asked quietly. He watched as her eyes glimmered in the dim light of the room.

“Always.” She whispered, squeezing his hand in return.

He smiled then, turning quietly as he tugged on her hand gently, pulling her behind him and toward his room down the hall. He flipped the light switch on without a word and dropped her hand as he made his way toward the dresser. He pulled two items from the top drawer and turned toward her, extending his hand outward to give her the objects he had extracted.

“These are mine.” She whispered, her eyebrows raising as she lifted her eyes to meet his.

“You left them here.” He whispered back. Truth was, he had meant to return them weeks ago. But there was still a part of him that was holding out hope that she’d be back someday.

She didn’t reply though. Instead she shook her head softly with a smile before taking the items from him and heading into the bathroom down the hall. He watched as she walked away and he couldn’t help but smile at the thought that she was finally back in his house. _Finally back in his arms again._

He crawled into bed then, plopping back against the covers with a sigh. He heard the door to Ariel’s room open and then shut again, and he presumed she must’ve been checking to make sure the teen was settled in okay. He watched as she entered the room quietly, her hand reaching out to shut the door behind her. He thought it was quite the bold move for her, especially given the way she was talking earlier, but then he remembered that she couldn’t sleep unless the door was closed and he felt a little less silly.

“She asleep?” He asked quietly, eyeing her softly as she made her way around the bed to the other side. Her long legs were bare under the sad excuse for shorts that she had on and he had to blink his eyes to keep his mind out of a naughty place.

“Yeah.” Her reply was soft as she climbed into the space next to him. He watched as she took a minute to settle herself before she slid down onto her side facing him.

“Good.” He didn’t know why he had all of a sudden forgotten how to speak in full sentences. It’s not like there was a beautiful woman laying in his bed.

“Goodnight Ethan.” She whispered as her head settled against the pillow, her eyes closing as she let out a contested sigh.

“Goodnight Leanne.” He whispered back. He reached up and turned the light off, leaving them alone in the dark. He wanted to sink down against the mattress and lay next to her. He wanted to pull her against his chest and wrap her up tight and never let her go. But he was afraid to move. Afraid that anything he did might set her off and have her running for the hills. 

She must’ve sensed his worry because the next thing he knew she was tugging on his arm gently, pulling his body down next to hers. “Hold me.” She whispered into the dark. And he felt his heart stop in his chest. He had never heard her utter such vulnerable words before.

“Are you sure?” He whispered back. He didn’t want to risk upsetting her by moving to fast or to soon.

“Please Ethan.” Her voice was shaky and when he looked down his eyes met with hers and he felt every spark in the universe ignite. 

“Yes ma’am.” He said softly. And that’s just what he did.

Rolling onto his side so that he was facing her, he locked his eyes with hers as he reached out, pulling her toward him gently. He dropped his forehead against hers and he heard her let out what sounded like a sob. Pressing a kiss against her nose he closed his eyes, his hands rubbing up and down her back in what he hoped was a soothing motion.

Neither one of them said anything for a while, and he wondered briefly if she had fallen asleep. But then her nose was bumping his softly and he opened his eyes to meet with hers once more. She offered him a soft smile as she spoke.

“Falling asleep on me already?” Her voice was light and humorous and he felt his heart clench. _He had missed this Leanne so much that it hurt._

“Trying not too.” He whispered, his right hand moving to brush back some of her loose hair. He thought she looked like an angel laying there, her hair a mess against his pillow, her eyes glowing softly in the moonlit room. “It’s been a long day.”

“Tell me about it.” She whispered back, her hand moving upward to trail along his cheek. He wondered why they couldn’t just have this all the time. Why they had to fight and bicker and torment each other he would never understand. This was the them that he liked. The them that he loved.

“I’ve missed you.” He ran his thumb along her lips then, caressing the smooth skin of her cheek as he pulled her just a little bit closer.

“I know.” He could practically see her trembling in front of him. 

“Why do we do this to each other?” He hoped his question wouldn’t spur another outburst from her. He hoped that she would just be open and honest with him.

“I don’t know.” He saw the tears forming in her eyes and falling down her cheeks then and he used his thumb to brush them away. He hated knowing that he was the source of her sadness. That he was the reason she was hurting so much.

“We should stop.” He whispered after a minute. “We deserve to be happy.”

“I know.” Her voice cracked with her words and he tugged her a little closer. He figured that pretty soon they would just be one person if he kept it up.

“Don’t I make you happy?” He nudged her nose once more, his eyes searching for hers in the dark. He found them, and he shivered at the sadness in them.

“Of course you do.” His heart swelled at her words because to be honest, it was not what he had expected.

“Then why can’t we do this?” He really didn’t understand it. He thought it might make more sense if there was a real reason. If he was mean to her, or to Ariel, or if he had some crazy backstory or liked to vacuum naked or something. But as far as he could tell, she had run out of excuses long ago.

“I don’t know.” She whispered, her hand stilling against his scruff covered cheek.

They laid that way for a bit, both of them lost in the other’s eyes. He watched as she yawned, her eyes closing softly as her body finally started to relax. He couldn’t remember ever seeing such a beautiful sight before him in his entire life. He dragged his fingers through her hair gently before trailing them back down her cheek. He wished that he could keep her here for the rest of eternity. He never wanted to let her go, he never wanted to share her with the world.

“Anyone ever tell you how beautiful you are?” He knew it was a cheesy pickup line and he knew that he should be ashamed of using it. But he wasn’t, not one bit, because her face softened and her eyes brightened as she smiled back at him. _If he had to use cheesy pickup lines on her for the rest of his life he would._

“Anyone ever tell you that you’re full of shit?” Her question caused him to laugh, his eyes dancing with humor as he leaned forward to press his forehead back against hers. He never realized how intimate the gesture was until just now, until he got to do with with her.

“Yeah, you guys like to remind me of that quite often.” She let out a soft chuckle at his words and he dropped a kiss to her nose as he tangled his fingers back in her curly hair. He could tell that she wanted to speak up, that she wanted to reply, but he watched as she shook her head slowly and dismissed whatever thought she had. “You okay?”

“Yeah.” She whispered her reply back, her fingers uncurling and then curling again as she held his chin gently against her palm. 

“This okay?” He wanted to make sure he wasn’t crossing any boundaries. That he wasn’t pushing himself on to her. 

“Yeah.” Her eyes were almost as soft as her words and he smiled at her gently, hoping to soothe whatever leftover fears she might still have in the back of her head.

“Can I kiss you?” He whispered his question after another few minutes of silence and when he saw her eyes go wide, her hand stilling against his cheek, he almost panicked. But then she smiled back at him and he couldn’t help but feel his heart flutter a little. 

She didn’t reply with words though, just simply nodded her head in his hand and he watched as she took a gentle breath. He leaned in then, nudging her nose gently with hers to let her know that he was there and that this was happening and that he had her. He saw the small smile form on her lips at his move and when he locked his eyes with hers he almost felt his heart stop. She was the one to close the distance between them, her fingers gripping his hair gently as she tugged his head forward. Her lips crashed against his softly and he honestly thought it was the most amazing thing he had ever felt.

“Wow.” He whispered when he finally pulled back. And honestly, ‘wow’ was all he was capable of getting out right then and there. Because whether she wanted to admit it or not, that kiss was amazing.

“Yeah.” She whispered back, her lips turning upward into a smile as she scratched at his scalp gently. “Wow.” 

He smiled at her then, a big, old goofy smile, and when she let out a chuckle he knew that he was officially a goner. He leaned in again, pressing his lips lightly against hers as he tangled his hand in her hair. She let out a soft sigh against his lips as she tried to pull him closer and he couldn’t help but smile into the kiss. He couldn’t believe that he had finally gotten her here, in his bed, in his arms, his lips on hers. He was thankful that such a shitty day had turned out rather well in the end.


	8. Your Hands in Mine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leanne wasn't sure why she was waking up with Ethan's hands on her bare skin, but she wasn't sure whether she liked it or not.

Leanne woke up the following morning and the first thing she did was panic. Not only was she not alone in the bed, but she wasn’t in her bed at all. In fact, she was in Ethan’s bed, and that was certainly the last place she ever expected to find herself. Especially in light of everything that had happened lately. She tried to move, to pull away from him, but that was when she noticed his arm was around her waist, his hand pressed against the bare skin of her stomach. She felt her heart start to race. Sure they had shared a bed before, hell, they had even snuggled before. He had never, not once, put his hands on her bare skin, and he most certainly hadn’t done so without her permission.

Closing her eyes she took a deep breath, doing her best to focus on her surroundings and figure out the best way to get out of this mess. She tried flashing back to what had happened last night, to what had brought her to this situation to begin with. She remembered bringing him pizza, sitting on the couch with him and Ariel, watching TV, just like old times. She remembered them fighting about her staying, she guessed she must’ve eventually given in. Blinking her eyes several times she tried to remember what happened right before they fell asleep, something that would help her understand why she was currently tucked against his body like she belonged there.

And then it hit her. They had kissed. And more than once too.

“Fuck.” She whispered to herself, her eyes slamming shut at the memory of his soft lips against hers. She wondered briefly if they had gone any further than that, if they had done anything, else. But then she remembered him telling her over and over that they wouldn’t go any further than she was comfortable with. That he wasn’t that type of guy, that he respected her more than that. She let out a breath at that thought, she knew it was rare to find a guy like that these days.

“You okay?” She heard his voice behind her, his knuckles grazing over her stomach softly as he pressed a kiss to her shoulder. 

“Yeah.” She breathed out. She could feel her body starting to panic again. Her palms were getting sweaty and she felt her chest getting tighter. She couldn’t believe she was waking up in his arms like this. 

“Don’t sound like it.” His words were soft as he pulled his hand from under her shirt, moving it to her hip so that he could roll her over to face him.

“I’m fine.” She snapped back. She knew he didn’t deserve to be talked to like that. That he really had done nothing wrong. But since she knew that she couldn’t initiate her flight instinct, not with his arm holding her in place and his soft gray eyes boring into hers, she decided that fighting was just as good.

“Talk to me Leanne.” He whispered, his head falling downward so that he could press a kiss against her cheek. He dropped his arm down around her waist and tugged her as close as possible to his chest, his head resting next to hers on the pillow.

“Did we?” She had the feeling the answer would be ‘no’ but she wanted to confirm just in case. Especially since her heart felt like it was going to jump out of her chest at any minute.

“Did we what?” He asked, his head popping up so that he could meet her eyes once more.

“We… Did we…?” She didn’t know why she couldn’t get the question out. It really wasn’t that hard to ask the man if they had sex.

“We didn’t have sex if that’s what you’re wondering.” He whispered his words, and for a second she thought he maybe sounded disappointed, but then his eyes were shimmering and he had a soft smile on his face and she guessed that maybe he wasn’t.

“But…” Surely she was mistaken. There’s no way he was okay with sharing a bed with her without having sex at the same time. Not after they kissed. And certainly not after they kissed like that.

“But what?” He asked quietly. “You said you weren’t ready. I respected that.” His voice was so soft and caring and gentle and she surely didn’t deserve his kindness. “What are you freaking out over love?”

“I… I was asleep…” She took a deep breath, her eyes closing as his fingers danced lightly over her hip. “In your arms.”

“Yeah.” He offered her a soft smile as he spoke, his head dropping down so that he could press their foreheads together.

“We kissed?” She whispered, her brown eyes staring back at him hesitantly. She definitely remembered that part from last night, or so she hoped.

“Yeah.” He chuckled then, his lips pressing against her nose lightly. “We made out a little. You started to get tired so we decided to call it quits. You fell asleep as soon as I wrapped my arms around you.”

She blinked several times, tears forming in her eyes as her memory started to clear and the fog lifted. She remembered his hands in her hair, hers running over his chest as their tongues tangled together. He had rolled her over at some point, his legs straddling her hips as he let his hands wander under her t-shirt. But they had stopped at her stomach, and never dared to go any further. She remembered him dropping his head to her shoulder and doing torturous things to her skin with his tongue and teeth. Surely there were marks still there from his actions.

“Leanne. Calm down. It’s okay.” He whispered his words as he reached up to touch her cheek softly with his hand. He looked so gentle, so loving and caring, and she couldn’t handle it.

“It’s not okay. Nothing about this is okay.” She pulled away from him then, shoving him backward gently as she scooted herself across the bed. She sat up, her head going to her hands as she let out a strangled sob.

“You seemed fine with it last night.” He whispered back. She felt his body shift in the bed, moving himself into a sitting position beside her. He reached out then, pressing a gentle hand against her bare thigh and she felt a jolt of electricity shoot through her body.

“That was before I woke up to your hands on my bare skin.” She practically yelled her words at him and she instantly felt horrible. 

“Leanne. I promise.” She lifted her head once more, her eyes catching his as he choked out his sentence. “Nothing happened.”

“Am I the other woman?” She had no clue where those words came from and she immediately regretted them. Bringing her hand up to her lips she closed her eyes shut tight as she felt him scoot closer, his hands going out to wrap around her wrists gently.

“Are you the what?!” He was angry, so angry, she could tell in the way he raised his voice, the way his hands were shaking as he held onto her. “No! I’ve told you before, Rox and I are just friends.”

“How many nights has she slept in that same position?” She opened her eyes and locked them with his as she watched him take a deep breath. She knew he was trying not to lose it on her. She knew that he was fighting back losing his control.

“None!” He screamed back. She must have jumped because he instantly moved closer, tugging her gently toward him at the same time. “She’s never even been to my house!”

“I need to go.” She whispered, moving to pull away from him and out of the bed.

“Leanne please.” He whispered his plea, his hands loosening around her wrists. She knew that he was trying to get her to let him in. She knew that he didn’t want to lose her. “Calm down. I know your still frazzled after yesterday. I am too. But it’s okay.”

“Please Ethan.” She felt like her heart was breaking in her chest. She couldn’t believe she had been so stupid. 

She got ready to pull away once more when he won out and pulled her into his lap. She fought him for a second, but only until he had his arms wrapped around her tightly. He held her there for a second, cradling her against his chest like a small child, pressing soft kisses against her hair as he did his best to shush her. She didn’t realize that she had started sobbing until she felt the tears rolling down her cheeks. She really didn’t know where all of this had come from.

“Talk to me Leanne.” He whispered against her hair, his hands running up and down her back gently.

“No.” She whispered back. She tried to pull away from him once more, but he held her in place, this time, lifting her so that she was straddling him, her legs resting on either side of his hips. She dropped her head downward, refusing to meet his eyes. She knew that she would give in if those grays met her browns.

“Leanne.” He whispered, his right hand going to her chin gently as he tried to lift her head upward. “Look at me.”

“What?” She almost shouted at him, almost, but then their eyes connected as his hand won out and her head came upward and she knew that she couldn’t be mad at him. 

“Talk. To. Me.” He punctuated each word as he leaned forward, his forehead falling to rest against hers once more as he dropped his hand to her neck. His fingers tangled against her curls there and she felt a shiver go through her body at the contact.

“There’s nothing to talk about.” She whispered, her eyes closing as she did her best to shut him out again.

“Obviously that’s a lie.” He whispered back.

“I…” She didn’t know what to say. She didn’t know what she was feeling right now, what she was dealing with. And she most certainly didn’t know how to convey those feelings to him.

“You what? You regret last night?” His question was soft and when she opened her eyes up all she saw was love and understanding in his. She instantly regretted getting so upset with him earlier. “You regret kissing me? All we did was make out a little. I swear.”

She didn’t have a response, instead, another sob escaped her lips and she dropped her head forehead to rest on his shoulder. She felt his arms tighten around her, one hand tangling in her hair as the other ran up and down her back. She let her arms relax then, bringing them to wrap around his strong shoulders as she clung to him like a small child.

“It’s okay Leanne. I get it.” He whispered his words against her hair before pressing a kiss to the space. “This is new to both of us. But it’s okay.”

“I don’t know if this is the right thing to do Ethan.” She finally whispered her fears against the material of his shirt, her eyes closing as she tried to pull herself closer to him.

“Well we’ll never know if we don’t try now will we?” He asked her softly, his hands going to push her away from him gently. Their eyes met again and she let out a soft sigh at his gentle features. She didn’t understand how he was being so nice to her still. How he was still so obsessed with her.

“I... I don’t know if I can.” And she honestly didn’t know if she could. She didn’t know if she had it in her to do this. She hadn’t been in a relationship since her husband died, in fact, she had only ever had one kiss since his death. Not to mention no dates, and most certainly no make-out sessions in any man’s bed.

“Leanne please. Last night was nice.” His words were soft as he ran his fingers through her hair. “It was relaxing.” He whispered as he pressed another kiss to her nose. Part of her just wished that he would kiss her on the lips again. That they could just get all of this tension out of the way now. “It was nice falling asleep with you in my arms. We’ve done it before.”

“There wasn’t all this tension before.” Why she mentioned said tension, she would never understand.

“Sexual tension?” But apparently his mind was in the same place as hers. “Because that’s not true. That’s been there from the start and you and I both know it.” And she did know it. Boy, did she know it. She had wanted to get her hands on him since she had first laid eyes on him in Center Stage over a year ago. She was honestly surprised that she had held out as long as she had.

“This... whatever this is.” She gestured between them with a sigh. She didn’t know what they were. She had no clue what to call him. Was he her boyfriend? Her man? Her lover? She had no idea what this was to him, or to her for that matter.

“What is this Leanne?” He whispered his question as he locked his eyes with hers. Apparently he wanted to know what she thought they were too.

“This...” She felt like an idiot for not being able to get the words out. 

“What. Is. This?” Again, he punctuated every word as he spoke and the slight angst in his tone was doing things to her body. She never thought she would be turned on by Ethan Willis getting frustrated with her.

“Whatever weird thing we are now.” Well there was that. They certainly were a ‘weird thing’ right now. Something that very clearly had no definition, no name, and quite possibly no meaning if she kept her act up.

“You made us whatever weird thing we are Leanne.” And as much as his words hurt, she knew it was true. He had been chasing her for months now. Wooing her, wining and dining her. He had done everything, short of crossing that line with her, to try and win her over. And she had been a total bitch to him.

“How is this my fault?” She wondered why she asked that question as soon as the dreaded words left her mouth. She damn well knew this was all her fault.

“You’re the one who pulled away from me. You made it pretty clear that you didn’t want this. I don’t know why. I don’t understand.” His eyes dropped from hers as his arms relaxed around her. She could tell he was getting defeated, that he was starting to lose this fight with her. She didn’t want him to pull away though, she really really didn’t. “You clearly have feelings for me. And you know I have them for you. I don’t know why you made this weird.”

“Don’t you dare blame this on me. I’m not the one playing the field.” And yet…

“Oh for fuck’s sake Leanne. We’re onto this again?!” He was mad now, one hand going to his hair as the other held her in place as he tried to pull away from her. She complied with him, scooting herself back onto the bed as he practically jumped out of her arms.

“Well Ethan I don’t know what to think.” And it was true. She didn’t know what to think. All signs pointed to him and Rox having a thing, something. Hell, even Jesse had made a comment about them being ‘friendly’, and he had used the quotation marks, not her.

“I’ll tell you what to think Leanne. Rox and I are not dating!” He yelled his last sentence and she felt her heart freeze a little at the harshness of his tone. He must have sensed her panic because he calmed himself down, his eyes lifting to hers softly as he took a deep breath. “We are not sleeping together. We are not hooking up. We are nothing.”

“You’re friends?” Surely she already knew the answer to that question, why she felt that she needed to ask it again she was unsure.

“Yes.” He obviously felt the same way because he growled out his response.

“That’s it?” She was really starting to hate her mouth for speaking before her brain could tell it not to.

“That’s it.” He said softly, his hand going out to grab hers. He squeezed it gently, doing his best to reassure that there was nothing but truth to his words.

“And we… What are we?” She whispered her question, her eyes filling with tears.

“I don’t know Leanne.” He whispered, his hand tightening its grip around hers. “What do you want to be?”

“I…” She didn’t know what she wanted them to be, honestly. She cared about him, a lot. And she liked him, a lot. And she most certainly found him attractive. But she didn’t know what all of these things together meant right now.

“Look, this is new for us. Both of us.” His tone was soft and his eyes were gentle and she started crying when she realized that he was once again being sweet to her after she had been such a bitch to him. “And while I’m 100% certain of my feelings for you, it’s obvious that you’re still not certain of your feelings for me.”

“It’s not that Ethan.” She whispered, her head falling forward as she closed her eyes against the tears.

“Then what is it Leanne?” His question was so soft and his hands were so gentle and she felt her heart swell and shatter at the same time.

She didn’t know what to say then, so instead she let out something that was a mix between a sigh and a sob. She felt his hand reach for her chin once more, lifting her head slowly. When their eyes connected he let out a sigh of his own, his thumb brushing the tears away from her cheek gently.

“I’m never gonna know if you don’t let me in.” He whispered. “I’m not a mind reader, as much as I wish I was.”

“It’s… hard.” She whispered back. And boy was right now one of those times when it was the hardest.

“What’s hard?” Truly she couldn’t tell him what was bothering her. Surely it wouldn’t make a difference in how he felt about her.

“I…” She couldn’t get the words out once again and she let another sob take over her as she closed her eyes shut tight, her body doing its best to pull away from him once more.

“Leanne. It’s me. You can tell me anything. I promise it won’t change the way I look at you or the way I feel about it. Nothing. I just want to help.” He sounded so sincere, so loving, and it broke her in two.

“I haven’t been with anyone… since…” She was struggling to get the words out and she couldn’t believe that she was having to have this conversation with him. She never in a million years thought that she would ever be this vulnerable with a guy again. And most certainly not with Ethan.

“Since the accident?” And once again he proved to her just how great he was. He seemed to know just what she was trying to say.

“I tried once. It lasted one date.” And that was true. It lasted dinner. And a kiss. And then she was promised a phone call that never came. She had locked herself away after that, swearing that she wasn’t going to put herself out there to get hurt again. That was until Ethan came around.

“Well then it wasn’t meant to be.” He sounded very confident in his words, like he knew what he was talking about. She always pegged him for that kind of guy though, so she really shouldn’t have been surprised by his statement.

“And you think we are?” She wondered if he really thought that they were meant to be together or if he was just trying to get her to sleep with him.

“Leanne, there’s a reason so many people keep confusing us for a married couple.” There was a humor to his voice that caused her to raise her eyes back up to his. The light that she saw shining there made her heart flutter in her chest.

“People do that?” She couldn’t believe it. Did people really think they were a married couple? Surely that was something he was making up.

“Everyone does that.” Or apparently not.

“I just… I don’t know if I can be the woman you want me to be.” And that part was also true. She didn’t know what he wanted in a woman, what he needed. She also didn’t know if she could give him the love that he deserved. He was broken, just like her. And while he seemed to have a slightly better grasp on healing than she did, she imagined that there were nights where he would need someone to cling too, someone to comfort him. She didn’t know if she was ready to be that woman yet, if she ever would be. “ I’m struggling as it is to be the mother Ariel needs. I don’t know if I have anything else left in me.”

“First of all, you already are the woman I want you to be.” Okay well maybe she was wrong about that part. “Second of all, you’re an amazing mother to Ariel. Third of all, I’m not asking for everything right here, right now.”

“But…” She wanted to argue with him because she wanted to fight with him but she had no reason whatsoever and she knew it.

“No. Leanne. I mean it. I want this. All of this.” His eyes backed up his words and she was getting lost in them a little more with every second. “And I’m willing to do this slowly if its what you need.”

“But that’s not what you need…” Honestly, she didn’t know what he needed, but she figured that ‘slowly’ was not a word in Ethan Willis’ vocabulary.

“Listen Leanne. I’d by lying if I said that I didn’t want to have sex with you. In fact, I think about it, a lot.” His eyes twinkled a little with his words and she felt something deep down inside her stir. “But that’s not what this is about. This is about a relationship, about being together emotionally and mentally, not just physically.”

She couldn’t speak. She couldn’t think. Her mind had stopped processing everything around her the minute he said that he wanted to have sex with her. 

“Leanne…” He whispered softly, his hand gripping her cheek gently as he did his best to bring her focus back to him.

“You really think about having sex with me that much?” She whispered her question, afraid of the reaction that she would get from him at her words.

“How could I not?” He chuckled with his words and she felt that same something stir some more. That something she hadn’t felt stir in years. “Have you looked in a mirror lately?” 

She rolled her eyes at his statement. He was clearly delusional. There was nothing about her that could possibly drag a man like him in. And most certainly she couldn’t keep him there. He could have his pick of any woman he wanted. Hell, he could have Rox for Christ’s sake. Why in the world would he pick little old her over a much younger woman?

“You’re the most gorgeous woman I’ve ever seen. And I fall for you more and more every time I’m with you.” Or maybe not. “And I’m committed to this. 100%. But I need to know that you’re in too. I don’t wanna half-ass this. I don’t wanna dive in and then wake up one day and find out that you left me to drown.”

“I wouldn’t…” She couldn’t bear the thought of leaving him out on his own like that. Of screwing with him that badly. She would never break his heart. At least not intentionally.

“Maybe not. But I need to know that you’re in this with me.” She wanted to shout that of course she was right then and there but she couldn’t make her mouth work. “I can’t do it alone. I don’t wanna do it alone.”

She got ready to speak when there was a soft knock on the door, followed by a blonde head poking through the small opening she had made when she opened it. Leanne let out a sigh and she heard Ethan do the same. She loved Ariel, more than anything, but her timing was most certainly not the best.

“Who’s taking me to school?” She asked softly, her eyes shifting between them.

“I will hun, give me a few minutes.” Leanne replied back before Ethan could beat her to it. She needed to get out of the house right now. She really just needed to get away from him before she did something she would ultimately regret.

“Leanne please…” His plea was soft and when she turned her attention from the teen and back to him she could see the pleading look in his eyes.

“I’ve gotta go get ready.” She whispered, and she pulled herself from the bed without another word and made her way down the hallway. She hoped a warm shower and a cup of coffee would do the trick to clear her head because there was no way she was going to be able to focus at work after that conversation.


	9. Jack Robert Willis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leanne overhears Ethan’s conversation with Meryl and she has a few questions of her own about his baby brother. Also, Leanne doesn’t like to share.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I’ve slightly diverged from canon, but I’m trying to keep things interesting (and the Willish in episode two was practically non-existent, so I didn’t have much to work with). **Slight spoilers for 3x02.**

Ethan had just finished making his rounds when he had bumped into Meryl in the hallway. Her comment about his brother having sent his mind for a tailspin. He had always been a skeptic when it came to people who thought they could see inside his head. He never really thought there was much truth to the matter, that was, until today. What she had said, about Robert not blaming him, had hit his heart hard and he had been trying to wrap his mind around her words all night and morning.

After finishing up with his last few charts he had retreated to the locker room, his body finally declaring that it was time for a much needed nap. He had just finished pulling on his t-shirt when he heard to door open to his right. He was nervous about who it could be, and he said a silent prayer when he saw Leanne walk through the door. She looked about as tired as he felt and he knew that she had been on her feet since she had left his place yesterday morning. That had been almost 48 hours ago and he could only imagine how exhausted she must have been.

He let out a gentle sigh when she moved to stand behind him, her arms wrapping around his waist as she laid her head between his shoulder blades. He felt her drop a kiss against the material of his t-shirt, her hands settling against his chest softly.

“You never told me you had a brother.” She whispered her words as she settled her head back in its spot. 

“You never asked.” He whispered back, his eyes closing as he closed his locker door, his arms falling to his side with a gentle sigh.

“Ethan…” Her words were soft and he felt his body go lax in her arms. He had no reason to fight with her, absolutely none, and yet he felt like that’s where this conversation was going to go.

“What Leanne?” He asked quietly, turning himself in her arms so that he could lean back against the cool metal. His eyes met hers as he brought his hands outward, gripping her hips gently as he tugged her forward.

“Is everything okay?” Her question was comforting and he could see her genuine concern in her eyes. He knew that she was trying. Really, really trying. And she really did deserve a chance.

“No. No it’s not.” He barely recognized his own voice as he pulled her forward, his arms wrapping around her shoulders tightly as he clung to her.

“Do you want to get some coffee and talk?” She whispered her question against his chest, her arms tightening around his back as she spoke.

“No.” And that was the cold hard truth. He didn’t want to get coffee and talk. 

“Do you want to get some coffee and not talk?” He couldn’t help but smile as she let out a soft chuckle, her body pulling away from his gently as she looked up at him, her bright eyes shining under the light of the dimly lit room.

“No.” He whispered back. And, again, it was true. It’s not that he didn’t want her company, but he guessed that the kind of company he wanted right now wasn’t the kind that she was thinking about.

“How about breakfast?” She was mighty persistent wasn’t she?

“I said ‘no’.” He hadn’t meant for his words to come out so harsh, his intention most certainly not being to hurt her feelings. He knew that she was doing her best to not make this bigger than it needed to be. He wished that he could convince himself to do the same.

“Ethan please…” Her voice was soft as she pleaded with him, her eyes gentle as she did her best to bring their gazes together.

“Leanne…” He really just wanted her to stop. He wanted to go home and take a shower and crash in his bed and sleep. And if she wasn’t going to be willing to join him, than he wanted her to just leave him alone.

They stood there for a few minutes, Leanne having tucked herself back against his chest with a soft sigh. She squeezed his waist gently and he felt her press a kiss against his shoulder. He could most certainly get used to having her in his arms like this. 

“Is there anything I can do?” Her question was so soft that he barely heard it, but her question sent his mind for a whirl. There certainly was something she could do for him, but he doubted that they had reached that stage in their relationship just yet.

“Stop pushing me away.” So he settled for the other thing he wanted her to stop doing. 

“Look Ethan… I don’t really know how to do that okay?” He could hear the way her words shook as she spoke, her arms tightening around him once more as she tried to pull him even closer. “I don’t know how to make things right. I don’t know how to make them work.” She pulled back then, her eyes locking with his as she swallowed before continuing. “But this is me, trying.”

“You won’t run out on me again?” He didn’t want to lose her, in any way, shape, or form. He needed her, almost as much as he needed the air around him, and he couldn’t imagine what he would do if she decided to walk out on him again.

“No.” Her voice was quiet, but he believed her words, especially when her eyes softened as she pulled her arms from around him, reaching up to press her palms against his chest.

“Promise?” He really hoped she would say ‘yes’.

“Promise.” She smiled at him then, a soft smile, and her eyes glistened as she tried to fight off the tears. He could tell that she was doing her best to hold it together. He knew that she was struggling, but he knew that together they could get through this.

“Breakfast? Please.” Her pleading eyes were doing things to his heart that he couldn’t quite explain and he felt a twist somewhere deep down inside at her gentle words.

“Your place or mine?” It wasn’t unusual for them to take turns cooking meals throughout the week, especially after work. He knew that there were just some days where one of them was more capable than the other.

“Neither. I’m way to tired to cook.” She let out a yawn as if to emphasize her point and he thought she looked adorable. “And you look like you can barely stand up straight, much less cook breakfast without burning the eggs.”

“Our usual place?” He knew that that would probably do the trick, that she would definitely feel more comfortable tucked away in their favorite booth at the local diner than in some stuffy chain restaurant.

“Definitely.” She whispered back, her body letting out another yawn. He wondered for a minute if they would be better off just grabbing something through a drive-thru and then falling into bed. But if she wanted a real breakfast, than he would give her that much.

“Give me a bit?” His question was soft and he hoped that she wouldn’t think that he was trying to push her away or get rid of her. “I have something I have to do.”

“Can I help?” Her eyes were gentle as she moved her hands from his chest and up to his cheeks, pulling his head down so that their foreheads were touching.

“Maybe…” He honestly didn’t know if she could help him, not this time anyway. But he was willing to bet that if he asked her, she’d be more than happy to give it a go. 

“What do you need?” He offered her a gentle smile then, his hands going to grip her hips gently as he leaned forward, pressing his lips against hers softly. He felt her sigh into the kiss, her hands falling back to his chest as she let them roam over his shoulders to pull him closer. He would honestly never get tired of kissing her like this, never. However, he knew that they were likely to get caught if they kept this up, especially since they were nearing a shift change. 

Pulling back gently he offered her a smile, his thumbs brushing under the material of her scrub shirt gently, her skin soft under his calloused fingers. He heard the door behind them open then and she quickly stepped back, turning her attention toward her locker just as a few nurses from the night shift made their way inside the small room. They both offered them quick smiles before making their way around them and back out the door. He was surprised when Leanne followed him toward Danny’s room, but when he told her that he simply needed help getting him and Abigail to the roof, she had quietly obliged.

—

After leaving Ethan alone on the roof with his two car crash victims, Leanne had returned to gather her things from her locker, knowing full and well that she was too tired to even try and kill time until Ethan was done. Making her way back out into the hospital she said a quiet goodbye to Jesse, offering him a small wave as she made her way toward the parking deck. She knew that she could have easily walked to the diner, it was only a few blocks away after all, but she was exhausted, and she knew that after eating, all she would want to do would be to go home and rest.

She arrived at the diner a few minutes later and after parking her car she made her way inside. She saw that the booth that she and Ethan, and often Ariel, liked was free and she motioned to the hostess that she was going to head that way. The young girl just offered her a smile, likely recognizing her from their multiple visits each week, and went back to her crossword puzzle. The diner was practically empty at this time of the morning, most people weren’t even thinking about waking up yet, much less planning their first meal of the day. 

Plopping down in her spot she shot Ariel a text letting her know that she was going to eat with Ethan and that she could take the bus to school instead. The girl’s pouty face reply made her smile, but then she told her to have fun and that she hoped they had a good rest of the day. She couldn’t help but be thankful that Ariel was turning out to be such a good kid overall. Sure she had her issues, but Leanne honestly felt like they were making their way past them with flying colors. Deciding that she would kill time by checking up on the news, she opened her app up and started scrolling.

“Hey you.” She heard Ethan’s voice before she saw him and when she looked up and caught sight of how exhausted he looked, she felt her heart clench in her chest. Surely he just wanted to go home and sleep, not be here with her.

“Hey.” She replied back softly as she watched him move to sit down across from her. He offered her a soft smile as he dropped his helmet into the space next to him, his sunglasses dropping to the table a second later.

“Everything go okay?” She was curious as to why he had wanted to take his patients to the roof in the first place, but she hadn’t wanted to scare him off by asking. 

“Yeah.” He whispered, offering the waitress a quiet nod as she placed a mug full of coffee in front of him.

“What was that about anyway?” She asked quietly, her eyes searching his out across the table. She could tell that he had a lot on his mind, that something was eating away at him.

“They wanted to spread their friend’s ashes over LA.” Okay so that was definitely not what she was expecting him to say. In fact, it was nowhere close.

“They didn’t?” It’s not that she thought their idea was crazy, it was actually kind of sweet, but she was pretty sure that Ethan may have just helped the couple commit a crime. “Aren’t there laws against that?”

“Maybe.” He shrugged his shoulders with his reply and she could tell that he wasn’t really worried about any legal implications of his actions. In truth, she figured that she was probably the only person other than the three of them who was aware of what had happened.

“You did a good thing Ethan.” She reached across the table and squeezed his hands with hers, her eyes doing their best to convey to him that she was proud of him. She could tell by the way they stayed dark, the way his smirk didn’t reach his eyes, that he wasn’t convinced.

“Yeah. I guess.” He shrugged once more, his eyes lifting to the waitress as she placed two plates on the table in front of them, their usual orders staring back up at them.

Leanne let out a sigh as she moved her hands back to her side of the table, her hand grabbing her fork and digging into her eggs silently. She watched as he did the same, his hand trembling slightly as he brought a fork-full of French toast to his mouth. They ate in silence, both lost in their own little world, and when the waitress dropped the check on the table thirty minutes later she felt her heart clench at the thought that she would have to say good-bye to him soon. She really just wanted to go home and curl up in bed with him and sleep the day away. Judging by his tired eyes, he probably wanted the same thing.

“Wanna get out of here?” He whispered softly, his eyes catching hers across the table. He took the check before she could grab for it and he offered her a little smirk. He was always quicker at paying than she was and it made her feel guilty, this had been her idea after all.

“Yeah.” She offered him a soft smile as she watched him stand, grabbing his sunglasses and helmet as he moved to stand next to her. He offered her his hand and she took it, smiling up at him as they made their way toward the front. This was the first open, and in public, display of affection that he had done in a long while, and she was certainly not going to pass it up.

She squeezed his hand and gestured outside toward his bike, indicating that she would wait for him outside. He squeezed her hand back before tugging her forward, his head dropping so that he could press a quick kiss against her lips. When he pulled back a second later he was smiling, and she knew that she must have been too judging by the look in his eyes. She let out a soft chuckle as she pulled away from him, making her way outside quietly.

“Wanna ride?” He asked a few minutes later, and she tried her best to act like she wasn’t totally surprised. It’s not that she had anything against the bike, because she most certainly didn’t, but it wasn’t often that he offered to share his love of riding with her.

“Really?” Of course she wanted to ride, especially if it meant that she didn’t have to go home to an empty house so soon.

“Yeah, really.” He offered her a soft smile then, moving to grab the extra helmet and handing it to her. She guessed that maybe he was just going to go ahead and answer his own question for her.

“Let’s go!” She watched as he let out a laugh at her excitement and she felt like it had been ages since she saw his gorgeous features make such a face.

He climbed on the bike then, pulling his shades down over his eyes as he started the vehicle up. She climbed on the back, pulling the helmet over her head before wrapping her arms tightly around his waist. She loved the way it felt to hold him like this, his strong muscles pressed so tightly against her. He pulled his helmet on after giving her a quick glance over his shoulder and then he was pulling his feet up and they were off.

They rode for what felt like twenty minutes, the early morning air chilling her slightly as they made their way toward the familiar spot down by the beach. Ariel had showed it to them last summer, and they had frequented the place with the teen over the past few months. It was normally quiet, and there had been many a day where they had happened to be the only ones there. She was praying that this was one of those days. She had so much that she wanted to talk to Ethan about and she doubted that she would be able to get up the courage to do it if there were a lot of people around.

Ethan pulled into the small parking area by the old wooden walkway and turned the bike off quietly. He waited for her to get off first, her shaking hands pulling the helmet from over her head with a soft sigh. She watched as he did the same, climbing off the bike with a low growl. She imagined he was probably more tired than he was letting on and she wondered if going on an adventure right now was really the best idea they’d ever had.

“Wanna walk?” His question was soft as he dropped his helmet onto the bike seat before taking hers from her hands and doing the same. She watched as he shifted his gaze toward her, his eyes still covered up by his fancy sunglasses.

“Sure.” She barely heard her own response and she wondered for a second if he had heard her either. But then he was taking her hand and turning them both toward the opening of the small path and she figured that she must have spoken up at least a little bit.

Neither one of them said much for the next while, instead they just walked hand-in-hand toward the waterfront. Ethan had stopped them just short of the edge of the path and he had dropped her hand as he moved to lean against the railing, his elbows resting against the wood as he scrubbed his hands over his tired eyes.

Leanne watched him with soft eyes as she waited for him to say something, to make a move to engage in a conversation with her. But instead, he just stood quietly there next to her, his head facing out toward the ocean. She reached out then, running her hand gently over his back as she stepped as close to him as possible. She didn’t know why she felt like he needed her right then and there, but there was definitely a vibe of vulnerability that she had never gotten from him before.

“What was he like?” She broke the silence with her question, her hand continuing its movements up and down his back.

“Who?” He turned his gaze toward her then, his hands gripping his sunglasses tightly as his eyes almost pleaded with her to stop. But then again, they also looked like they were almost pleading for her to continue.

“Your brother.” She whispered softly. “Was he like you?”

“Sort of.” He offered her a small smirk as he turned his attention back toward the incoming waves and she wanted nothing more than to let him stand there and get lost in the scenery all day.

“Was he smarter?” She couldn’t possibly imagine that, Ethan was a pretty intelligent guy, and while he liked to play dumb for the others, she knew better. 

“In some ways.” His response was quiet and she watched as he returned his gaze toward her, as if to ask her where she was going with this. “He did go to college after all.” 

Leanne had a hard time believing that Ethan’s brother could’ve possibly had a leg up on him in that category. She had been to his house, she had seen his extensive book collection. She had also heard him spout random movie and TV trivia with Mario and Angus. And he surely gave Ariel a run for her money when it came to music. But he was smart in other ways too. He had more emotional intelligence than most people she knew. And he had a way about him that just screamed that he was a helper, that he was there to make things better. She had known that from the start.

“Funnier?” She also doubted that, the man’s sense of humor, while something that took her some getting used too, was pretty great in the grand scheme of things.

“His sense of humor was rather, crude.” He let out a chuckle at his words, his eyes twinkling as he wriggled his eyebrows at her. She let out a laugh too, her mind trying to imagine someone with a cruder sense of humor than Ethan was hard.

“So not funnier?” She wondered if they played jokes on each other, if they were always goofing off. She bet they were probably a pill when they were kids, always picking on each other and getting into trouble.

“Rarely.” He must have sensed her thoughts because he shook his head gently, a smile forming on his face at he probably recalled some hidden memory.

“Was he better looking than you?” She also doubted that that could’ve been the case. Ethan was as handsome as they came, and she would be lying to herself if she didn’t think that he was also pretty damn sexy as well.

“Ha! I would say no.” He let out another laugh as he leaned back off the railing, his gaze turning back toward her once more. His eyes were soft as he eyed her curiously. “But I wasn’t the one with a constant string of girlfriends, so maybe he was.”

“I doubt it.” She whispered her words before she knew what she was saying and she instantly regretted them. The last thing she wanted was for him to know just how attractive she thought he was.

“Doubt what?” He raised an eyebrow as he reached out for her, his hands grabbing at her hips gently.

“That he was better looking than you.” She dropped her head downward, her eyes going to her shoes as he pulled her in front of him.

“You think I’m good looking?” He whispered as he pinned her gently against the railing, his thumbs brushing against the bare skin at the waistband of her jeans. She thought that maybe he should stop doing that because it was driving her insane.

“I never said that.” He let out a soft chuckle then, his head falling downward as he nudged hers back up, his lips soft against the skin of her neck. She let out a shiver as he moved his way downward, his lips leaving a trail of fire behind as he went.

“You kind of did.” He whispered against her shoulder before he brought his eyes up to meet hers. She shook her head back and forth at his words. She had most certainly said no such thing about him.

“No I didn’t.” She sighed back, but then his lips were turning into a smile and he was pressing his body against hers and she couldn’t help but let her hands move to rest against his chest, her fingers gripping the lapels of his leather jacket at she pulled him down for a kiss.

They stood that way for a few minutes, their lips dancing lightly against each other as they both took a moment to savor the feeling of being together. Leanne let out a soft sigh when Ethan ran his tongue along her lips, begging for entrance. She knew that this was going to that place a little to fast for her liking and she felt the disappointment when she pulled back from him. She dropped her head downward, doing her best to catch her breath as she held onto his jacket lightly. 

“Sorry.” He whispered, his lips pressing a kiss to her forehead as he pulled back a tad, putting a little distance between their bodies.

“It’s okay.” And she hoped that he knew that she meant it. It was okay. She knew that he would never take this anywhere she didn’t want it to go. He respected her more than that, he had made that much clear.

They stood there in silence for a few minutes, both of them doing their best to calm their breathing and regain their thoughts. She had had other questions that she wanted to ask him about his brother, there was still more that she wanted to know. She took a deep breath before lifting her head, her eyes connecting with his as she offered him a gentle smile.

“His name was Robert?” She asked softly, her hands moving to flatten against his chest.

“Jack.” He said quietly and for a minute she wondered if she had gotten something wrong. She could’ve sworn she had overheard Meryl say that his name was Robert. “Well Jack Robert. He answered to both.” Okay, so that made much more sense.

“Were you two close?” She couldn’t imagine that they weren’t. Ethan had a way of bonding with people, and often the most unlikely of people at that. Take Ariel for example. There was noway that she could’ve predicted that the smart-ass teen and the tough as nails Colonel would quickly have become best-friends. And yet?

“Sometimes.” He closed his eyes as he took a deep breath. “We argued, of course, but he was a good kid.”

“You really loved him?” She knew that had to be true. There was no way that Ethan didn’t love that kid more than anything in this world. Again, her mind went back to Ariel. Ethan had done everything in his power to get through to the kid, and when it worked, well boy did it worked. In fact, she sometimes wondered if maybe the pair was closer than she and the girl.

“Yeah.” She could see the tears threatening to spill from his closed eyelids and she felt her heart break for the man in front of her. He was never so openly vulnerable with her before. And while part of her was loving that he felt like he could open with her, the other part of her hated seeing him in pain.

“I’m sure he loved you too.” She whispered back, her hands moving up to grip his cheeks softly. She pulled his head downward, pressing her lips against his softly. She felt his grip tighten on her hips once more and she couldn’t help smiling into the kiss. He pulled back first this time, his forehead falling against hers with a soft sigh.

“Sometimes I wondered.” He whispered, his eyes opening to reveal a soft, yet dark look. She wondered why he was so incredibly haunted by the thought of his brother not loving him back. She guessed that there must have been some tension between somewhere along the line. Something that must have run deeper than normal drama between brothers.

“It’d be kind of hard not to.” She instantly regretted her words. She really didn’t need him knowing that she cared about him that much.

“I’m gonna pretend that I didn’t hear you say that just to save this conversation from getting awkward.” He let out a chuckle with his words though and she guessed that he must not have been but so mad at her for her words.

She let out a soft chuckle when she saw the humor in his eyes and she leaned forward, her arms moving to wrap around him as she tucked herself against his chest with a soft sigh. She felt his arms wrap around her waist, gently at first, but then he pulled her a little closer with a sniffle, his head moving to bury against her neck as he did his best to calm his nerves.

“I think you would’ve liked him.” He whispered against the skin of her neck as one of his hands moved up to run through her hair. She couldn’t believe that he was the one trying to offer her comfort right now. “He certainly would’ve liked you. Probably would’ve tried to steal you from me.” He pulled back then, his eyes locking with hers as he spoke.

“I can’t be stolen.” She whispered, her hands going to rest against the back of his neck. She watched as he swallowed, his eyes growing dark with something she thought could have possibly been need.

“Good to know.” He whispered back, his head dropping downward as he pressed a gentle kiss against her lips. He tangled his hand further in her hair as he tried to deepen the act, but she gently pulled herself away from him.

“I wish I could’ve met him.” She said softly. And it was the honest to God truth. She bet she would’ve liked him. In fact, if he was anything at all like Ethan, she would have probably been crazy about him too. “I bet I would’ve liked him too.”

“You two would’ve had very little mercy on me.” There was a humor to his tone that made her smile and she felt her breath catch in her chest when he dropped his forehead to hers.

“Well it’s only right…” She whispered her words, watching as his eyes lightened at the prospect. She wished that she could’ve met the younger man, she surely would have enjoyed teaming up with him to tease Ethan mercilessly. She wondered for a minute if that was part of the reason that he had been so drawn to her and Ariel. If he had missed that teasing nature of a familiar bond.

However, she didn’t get to finish her thought because the next thing she knew his phone was ringing and he was pulling the device from his back pocket. He let out a sigh as he pulled away from her and she felt her heart drop when she saw the name that flashed across his phone. Rox. She was trying really hard not to show her dislike for the other woman’s relationship with Ethan, but she was surely going to fail.

“Gotta go?” She asked softly, her eyes pleading with him to stay with her.

“Probably.” He replied back, his eyes hardening as he pulled away from her. She knew for certain that she had lost him then. That she’d probably never get him back to where she had him. She felt her heart sink as he walked away from her, answering the phone with a smile.

She watched him then, her eyes misting over as he laughed at something the woman on the other line said. She hated that she was jealous. And yes, she could admit that now. And she hated that she couldn’t be supportive of his friendship with the woman. But there was a deep, gnawing feeling in her gut that told her that she shouldn’t get too comfortable with her just yet. That something about her was off. That something about her was gunning for the man who had just been in her arms.

“I gotta go.” He said quietly as he made his way toward her. Part of her could see him fighting with the decision he had just made. But the other part of her could see that he was itching to get back out there. His system in desperate need of the adrenaline rush. “We’re pulling another shift.”

“You really should sleep Ethan.” And she wasn’t lying. They had both been going non-stop for the past 48 hours. They both needed to rest. And she was hoping that they could do so together.

“I’m okay.” His eyes betrayed his words but she could tell that he was trying to be strong. That he was trying not to let her see him break. “The coffee helped.”

“Are you sure?” She was probably going to get mad at him for that. She knew he hated it when she persisted.

“I’m sure.” But his tone held no aggravation and when he reached down to take her hand, tugging her gently back in the direction of the bike, she felt a sense of relief wash over her.

They made the ride back to the diner quicker than they had when they left it and when Ethan pulled up next to her car she noticed that the place had started to fill up a little. She guessed that now was probably about the time that normal people got up and ate breakfast. She hopped off the bike without a word, removing her helmet and placing it on the backseat. She watched as he did the same, his leg swinging over the side as he moved to stand in front of her.

“I’ll call you tonight?” He asked softly, his hands reaching out to pull her close.

“Why don’t you just come over?” She knew it was stretch to ask. They hadn’t really gotten back into a comfortable routine with each other yet and she didn’t know if he was ready to get back to normal. “Ariel will be home. We can make dinner. Watch a movie?”

“If I can get out on time I will.” His voice was quiet, but not hollow, and she could see that his eyes were doing their best to focus on her and not on wherever his mind was going off to.

“Try? Please?” She felt bad for begging, but she really wanted him with them tonight. She didn’t have to work tomorrow and she knew that Ariel had a half-day at school. She just wanted to spend the night, and then the afternoon, with them. Both of them.

“Okay.” He whispered back, his hands reaching up to cup her face gently.

“Ethan…?” She watched as his eyes softened as she dragged his name out slightly.

“Yeah?” He dropped his forehead to hers as his eyes sparkled in the early morning light.

“Be safe.” She whispered. “Please.”

“Aren’t I always?” He chuckled with his question, his eyes dancing with humor as he ran his thumbs along her cheeks.

“No.” She whispered once more, her hands reaching up to tug on the lapels of his jacket. She tried to bring herself as close to him as possible. “That’s what worries me.”

“I’ll do my best.” He whispered softly, his eyes blinking as he fought off what she thought was another round of tears. She wondered how long it had been since someone had worried about his safety. Probably much longer than she wanted to accept.

“Promise?” She needed him to be safe. She needed him to always come home to her. And to Ariel. 

“Promise.” He leaned in and kissed her then, his lips soft as they danced over hers lightly. He was cupping her cheeks between his hands still and when he pulled away she let out a whimper. She didn’t want the contact to end. She didn’t want him to leave. “I gotta go.”

“I’m not done.” She whined. And she wasn’t. Earlier she had wanted to stop their make-out session, now, she just wanted to keep him kissing him. 

“Leanne…” He dragged out, but she silenced him by pulling him close once more, her lips crashing against his as she did her best to make him forget that he was supposed to be leaving her.

“Still not done.” She whispered against his lips. She kissed him again and she felt him sigh as his hands tangled in her hair. She hoped that he was close to forgetting that he was supposed to be somewhere else.

“I have to go.” He said sternly as he pulled away from her once more. “Rox is gonna leave without me.”

“Let her.” She whispered as she dragged his lips back down to hers. She ran her tongue along his mouth, begging for entrance, and when Ethan let out a low growl in the back of his throat she felt something inside her awaken. She wanted to keep going, she wanted to take him home and take him to bed and while that thought scared the shit out of her, it also excited her in a way she didn’t know possible.

He pulled away from her once more, panting softly as he dropped his head to her shoulder. “You keep that up, I’m gonna have more problems than just being late.”

“Fine by me.” And it was true. She would gladly let him be late for that reason. Especially since he was giving up time with her to be with that other woman.

“You really don’t want me to go do you?” His voice was soft as he asked her that burning question and when he brought his head up so that their eyes could meet she felt something inside her flutter.

“Do I ever?” She couldn’t really, truly, remember a time when she wanted to get rid of him. While he did annoy her to no end, especially at work, she always wanted his constant presence around. 

Not knowing what else to do she pulled him in for another kiss, her hands moving up to tangle in his hair as his hands fell to her waist. She felt him slide them around to place them against her ass and when he pushed her against the driver’s side door of her car she let out a moan.

“Ethan…” She whined his name as she pulled away from him. “Please stay.”

“I can’t.” She leaned forward then, her lips pressing against his stubble covered cheek before moving down to place kisses against his chin. She then moved on to his neck, her lips pressing lightly against his flesh as he shivered in her arms.

“Baaaabe…” He dragged out his endearment as she nipped at the juncture of his neck and shoulder and when she felt his fingers digging into her hip in an attempt to restrain himself, she stopped.

“Fine.” She let out a soft sigh as she dropped her hands to his shoulders, running them downward to rest against his chest as she leaned her head back against the door.

“I’ll see you tonight.” He whispered, his forehead falling to rest against hers with a soft sigh. She could see his desire in his eyes. She could tell that he wanted to keep going. She knew that she hadn’t helped the situation either.

“You better.” And it was true. After that, she had better get to finish what she had started at some point that day. And she would be damned if he didn’t let her.

“Bye.” He whispered, his lips pressing against hers softly as he pulled away from her.

“Bye.” She whispered back as she watched him return to his bike. He gave her one last longing look before pulling his shades on, and then his helmet, his shaky fingers doing their best to start the bike. He failed the first few times and she couldn’t help but chuckle. But then he got it started and he was kicking his feet off the ground and backing up. And then he was gone.


	10. Waiting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leanne didn’t have a patient bone in her body, at least not when it came to Ethan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *This follows directly after chapter 9. It dosen’t contain any spoilers though.

Leanne had been a bit of a mess after Ethan had left her alone in the parking lot at the small diner. She had been dreading saying goodbye to him and after he left she just didn’t feel, right. She wanted nothing more than to go home and crash and sleep the day away, but sadly, her nap had only lasted two hours before her mind got the best of her. She had showered and dressed quickly, checking her phone over and over again for any word from Ethan, but it never came. 

Realizing that she still had plenty of time before she had to get Ariel she had done a few chores around the house before heading out to run her errands. She figured that she could just head straight to get the teen after she picked up her needed items and she was glad for the distraction the teen would offer.

She pulled up outside the school just as the bell rang and Leanne watched as Ariel made her way toward the car quietly. She offered her a smile as she climbed into the passenger seat, her book bag falling to the floorboard by her feet.

“Hey sweetie.” She watched as the teen sunk back in the seat, her eyes closing as she let out a sigh.

“Hi.” Ariel said back softly.

“How was your day?” She knew that Ariel hated that question. She had told her once that she never knew what to say to that, especially when most of the time she just wanted to answer back with ‘horrible’.

“Eh.” She shrugged her shoulders then, turning to face Leanne as she opened her eyes. “You look... nervous?”

“What?” The girl was crazy. There was no way she looked nervous. Not after all the hours she had spent away from Ethan. “I do not.”

“Yes you do.” She said pointedly, her eyes narrowing as she crossed her arms over her chest. “You look like a nervous wreck. Did something happen?”

“No!” She had no idea why she practically shouted her answer back at the girl.

“Oookay.” She could tell that Ariel didn’t buy her story, but she looked like she wasn’t in the mood to fight, so she just turned back toward the windshield, her hand moving to pull her belt down.

“Sorry honey, I didn’t mean to yell.” Leanne reached over and patted the girl’s arm with her left hand. “It’s been a rough day.”

“Rough two and a half days if I recall correctly.” She could hear the slight bitterness in her tone and Leanne knew that she deserved it. She had made a promise to the girl that she was going to try and slow down at work, try to make more time for her. And she had, at first, but things had been crazy lately and she could feel herself falling back into her old ways.

“I’m sorry for that.” She whispered, her eyes turning back toward the road as she pulled the car back out onto the street. “I know I said I was gonna try and work less.”

“It’s okay.” Ariel whispered back. They drove in silence for a minute before the teen’s quiet voice filled the car once more. “I’m more concerned about right now. Are you sure you’re fine? We don’t even live in this general direction?”

“Oh gosh.” Leanne felt ridiculous, she couldn’t believe that she had turned in the wrong direction. In fact, she had no idea where she was even going. They lived on the other side of town from where she was headed. “What am I doing?” 

“You’re distracted.” Ariel let out a soft chuckle as she turned her attention back toward her and Leanne did her best to keep her eyes on the road and not on the blonde sitting next to her.

“Yeah.” And it was true, she was distracted, really distracted. Especially since all she wanted was to be reunited with a certain doctor, the sooner, the better.

“That distraction have anything to do with a certain Army Colonel?” And apparently Ariel was on to her.

“What?! No?!” She tried to deny it, tried to hide the fact that he was on her mind, but she knew she was failing. The girl was rather observant, especially when it came to matters that involved Ethan.

“You’re the worst liar.” Ariel’s voice was full of humor and Leanne could practically hear her rolling her eyes at her.

“I’m not lying.” She was. She was lying straight through her teeth. But she was hoping that Ariel would buy it and just leave this be.

“I know you two had breakfast together this morning.” Or maybe she wouldn’t let it die. “Remember, you made me ride the bus to school?”

“Yes we did have breakfast Ariel. You’re right about that.” And it was true. They had had breakfast together. But they had also almost had an intense amount of foreplay action against her car.

“Did you have a little something after breakfast?” She couldn’t bear the thought of having this discussion with the girl. In fact, she was surprised that she was even going there to begin with.

“No!” Her voice was raised and she saw Ariel shift a little in the seat beside her.

“So you went straight home after breakfast?” The fact that Ariel knew them so well was scary.

“No. We went for a ride.” In hindsight, she probably shouldn’t have brought up the fact that they rode on his motorcycle. “Then we walked down by the beach.”

“I’m guessing you got to ride on the bike then?” Yeah, she really shouldn’t have brought that up.

“Yes. Yes I did.” She wanted to add that she got to ride on the bike because she was an adult and she could make her own stupid choices, but then she figured that would surely lead them into a fight.

“And yet I still can’t ride on it?” She was quite the persistent little thing wasn’t she? Leanne wondered where she got that drive from because she certainly didn’t used to be like that. She was sure that Ethan was probably to blame.

“No.” And that was that. She didn’t want the girl on the back of the bike and that was the way it was going to be.

They drove in silence for a few more minutes, Leanne finally getting her bearings back and making her way toward her house. She heard Ariel let out a sigh beside her and she wondered what was possibly plaguing the girl’s mind.

“So where’s Ethan now?” She whispered.

“At work.” At least she suspected that’s where he was. That’s where he was supposed to be anyway. She realized then that she truly had no way of knowing just where he was or what he was doing.

“Are you sure?” She guessed that maybe she didn’t sound very convincing since the teen was turning toward her with a curious glance. “He’s not at the house waiting for us is he?”

“God I wish.” She mumbled her answer under her breath, praying that the teen wouldn’t hear it, but she guessed that she failed.

“Oh my God.” Ariel growled out, her body slumping back against the seat with a huff.

“Whaaat?!” She really didn’t understand what the problem was though. What was wrong with her wanting Ethan to be at home waiting for them? It surely wouldn’t have been the first time, and it probably wouldn’t be the last. 

“I heard that!” She said softly, her eyes turning back toward her as they stopped at the light just outside of Leanne’s subdivision.

“Heard what?” Leanne turned her eyes toward the girl for a brief second, letting out a sigh when she saw the confused look on her face.

“You’re secret desire for Ethan to be waiting for us at home.” She guessed it maybe wasn’t a secret desire per say, but it definitely wasn’t something that she wanted to be public knowledge.

“Be quiet Ariel.” She said softly, her eyes turning back to the road as the light turned green.

“Fine.” She whispered back, her arms dropping to her lap as she turned her head toward the window. 

They rode the rest of the way in silence, Leanne doing her best to keep her cool while Ariel stared out of the window at the passing scenery. When they got home Ariel had huffed her way up to her room, closing her door softly behind her. She wondered what in the world she had done to aggravate the girl, but she figured that poking her now would be like poking a sleeping bear. And that was surely not something she wanted to deal with right now.

——

Leanne tried her very best to keep busy the rest of the afternoon, and after she realized that Ariel was likely not going to come out of her room, she had settled for plopping onto the couch, the TV playing some game show in the background. She wasn’t really paying attention to it, instead, her focus had been on her phone since they had gotten home. She kept waiting for a text, a call, something, anything. She just wanted to hear from Ethan, to know that he was okay and that he was on his way over. As if on cue her phone buzzed in her hand and she couldn’t help the smile that formed on her face when she saw Ethan’s name pop up.

“I’m gonna be late.” Stared up at her and she felt a piece of her heart break. 

“Noooo!” She knew she was being ridiculous, this was part of the job and all. 

“I’m so sorry.” She figured he probably was, especially after the way he had been acting when she finally let him go earlier.

“Is everything okay?” As long as his reason for not being with her was valid, she was okay with it.

“It’s fine. Just slammed.” Of course they were.

“Should we eat without you?” She was kind of glad that she hadn’t told Ariel about their plans to make dinner together. She knew the kid would be upset that Ethan wasn’t there.

“Go ahead. I don’t know what time it’ll be.” She knew that meant late, probably much later than she was willing to stay up.

“You’re still gonna come over though right?” She prayed that he wasn’t going to change his mind just because of the late hour.

“I promise.” Something, somewhere, deep down inside her fluttered at his words.

“You still have a key?” Because lord knew she didn’t want to have to drag herself downstairs in the middle of the night to let him in.

“Yeah. I triple checked. Don’t stay up though. Get some sleep.” But she didn’t want to sleep, at least not alone. She wanted his arms around her and his lips pressing kisses against her skin. That was the only way she ever wanted to fall asleep from here on out.

“So you’re just gonna sneak into bed with me in the middle of the night?” She would never admit it to anyone, but she kind of liked that idea.

"If you stop the conversation there I'll even wake you up when I get in.” She could almost see him getting flustered, his cheeks turning red with her words.

“I miss you.” And it was true. Even though it had only been a few hours, she missed him. A lot.

“I miss you too. I gotta go. I’ll see you tonight.” She didn’t want their conversation to end. It wasn’t fair. She wasn’t done.

“Buuut...” She hoped she was convincing enough that he would stay around for a little while longer.

“Leanne. I gotta go. I miss you and I promise that I’ll see you tonight.” Or maybe he wouldn’t.

——

Ethan was tired. No, scratch that, he was downright exhausted. And the fact that he could barely hold his eyes open should probably have been of more concern than it currently was. However, he had had only one destination in mind when he left Angels Memorial, and it wasn’t his place. No. He had promised Leanne that he would be there tonight. And he never broke a promise.

He let himself into the quiet house using his key and he toed off his boots as he listened for any signs of movement from upstairs. But nothing came. He let out a breath, thankful that he hadn’t seemed to wake either one of the two girls. He surely knew that would be a disaster for him. He made his way up the stairs as quietly as possible and when he made it to the top he stopped again, listening once more. Again, there was no movement, and he let out another breath.

Making his way toward Ariel’s room he poked his head around the slightly open door, smiling when he saw the teen sprawled out amongst the pile of blankets. She looked peaceful laying there, almost like a small child, and he felt a flutter in his heart at his love for the girl. Sighing softly, he slowly worked his way down the dark hall, pushing his way into Leanne’s room with the lightest of touches. 

She was curled up on her side facing the door, and Ethan was almost certain that her eyes were going to pop open at any minute and ruin his surprise. He waited, but it never came. Instead, she let out a soft huff and snuggled herself further into the pillow and he felt his heart tighten. He was such a goner because of these two and he couldn’t handle it. Sighing once more he moved toward the bathroom, depositing his bag just outside the door he grabbed a clean pair of boxers and a t-shirt before heading inside the small room.

When he emerged a few minutes later, freshly showered and feeling slightly more human than he had over the past 48 hours, he surely expected to see Leanne awake and waiting for him. But again, there was nothing. She was still laying in the same spot as before, her chest rising and falling evenly as she breathed. He couldn’t help the smile that crept over his face as he watched her, he was such a sucker for her and he didn’t care who knew it at this point.

He made his way toward the bed then, his legs finally feeling the brunt of his almost 60 hour shift. His back was killing him too, and he could feel a headache coming on as well. Pulling the covers up over his body, he scooted closer to her, his left arm going out to wrap around her waist gently. He pulled her back against his chest with a soft sigh and he nuzzled his nose into her hair, his lips pressing a kiss to the base of her skull.

“What time is it?” She mumbled her question a few minutes later and Ethan let out a breath. He had almost been asleep, almost.

“Doesn’t matter.” He whispered back, pressing a gentle kiss against her shoulder as he pulled her closer.

“Like hell it doesn’t.” He could tell that she was mad that he had made it back so late. He knew that she was looking forward to spending the night together.

“It’s 3:30.” Or, at least he thought it was.

“In the morning?!” He was hoping that the fact that it was still pitch black outside would have been a dead give away.

“Well yeah...” He regretted getting snippy with her immediately. She gently pushed herself from his grasp and rolled over to face him, her eyes dark, yet curious as she studied his face.

“Jesus Ethan. I know you said late but this is out there.” He knew that she was probably more concerned than she was angry. Not that she would ever tell him that.

“I’m sorry.” He whispered, his fingers reaching out to brush her loose curls out of her face.

“Mhm.” He could see the slight annoyance in her eyes, mixed with a little but of humor, and he felt that damn flutter in his heart again.

“I am.” He said softly, reaching out for her hip once more. He pulled her closer to him, their noses bumping as he brought his lips down to hover over hers. “I promise.”

“Mhm.” She pulled back slightly before he could kiss her and he rolled his eyes at her dramatic response.

“I can always leave.” He pulled back then, getting ready to scoot his body away from hers.

“Don’t you dare.” She growled out, her hands grabbing for him swiftly. She made contact with the bare skin of his neck and he felt a chill roll down his spine. He rolled them over then, his legs going to straddle her waist as he dropped his head to the crook of her neck. 

“You sure?” He whispered against her skin, his teeth dragging lightly over the pulse point, his hands reaching for hers as he made the move to pin them above her head.

“I’ll hunt you down.” She dragged out, her head tilting backward against the pillow as he nipped at her skin.

“I’d like to see that.” His voice was full of humor and she wanted nothing more than to shut him up. But then his free hand was running along her rib cage and he grazed his knuckles against her breast and she couldn’t focus on anything but the feeling of his lips on her skin.

“Eeethan...” She dragged out his name as she struggled below him. She wanted her hands back and she wanted his shirt off and she wanted nothing more than to have sex with him right then and there.

But then Ethan lifted his head up to hers and their eyes connected and she knew instantly that this was going to be anything but quick.


	11. Remodeling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rox is curious as to how exactly Ethan manages to live in that house of is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Featuring some Ethan/Rox friendship. Some hints at Ethan/Leanne romance. And some Ethan/Mario bromance (because, let’s face it, it’s happening).  
> *Slight **spoilers for 3x03**.

Ethan had just settled down at a table in the cafeteria, a cup of coffee and something that somewhat resembled a breakfast burrito on the table in front of him, when he heard the chair across from him being pulled back. Expecting it to be Leanne, or possibly even Ariel, he didn’t pay any mind to his new visitor, instead, he pushed his plate outward, offering his guest some of his food.

“No thanks.” Rox’s voice was the last he expected to hear but he refused to take his eyes off of his phone, praying that maybe she would go away and leave him be. 

After she had showed up at his house this morning, and then subsequently let herself in, he had been on edge around her. His house was a sacred place, his sacred place, and only people he really trusted were allowed inside. In fact, other than Leanne and Ariel, Mario and Noa were the only people who had ever been there, despite having lived in LA for several years. However, it was definitely not a place that he had planned on ever inviting Rox into. Especially not after she had caused such a rift between him and Leanne. Not when the simple mention of her name was enough to send Leanne into a tizzy. He had been incredibly thankful that Ariel had still been asleep when she had showed up, because he could only imagine how that would’ve gone down.

“Why is your place such a mess?” Rox’s question broke him from his thoughts and he let out a sigh when he realized that she wasn’t going to go away. “Haven’t you been in LA for a while?”

“I’m remodeling.” He spat out, his hand reaching out to pull his plate back toward him. He stabbed at it with his fork as he brought his eyes up to hers.

“Remodeling?” _What exactly did she think he was doing there anyway? Did she really think that he just lived in a dump?_

“Place was a disaster when I moved in.” He mumbled around his bite of food. “My bathroom was magenta.”

“Magenta?” It was true, the disgusting shade of pink had made him gag when he first looked at the house. But then the realtor had said that the owner was willing to take almost $3000 off if he didn’t request any kind of ‘aesthetic’ changes and Ethan had figured that he could make it work. 

“I didn’t make that choice.” Why anyone would he had never understood.

“Is it still magenta?” _Of course it wasn’t still magenta, what did she think he was, crazy?_

“No. The color legit hurt my eyes.” It did hurt his eyes, a lot, and even thinking about it was putting a bad taste in his mouth. “And Ariel said the wallpaper border of tiny cherubs gave her nightmares.”

“Cherubs?” So in truth he hadn’t actually done anything with the bathroom until last summer when Ariel started staying with him. Mainly because he had just learned to deal with it, but also because he figured he couldn’t be living in a house that looked like it belonged in a Stephen King novel with a teenager around. 

“It was the first room I tore apart.” Which was true. Other than ripping up his front porch and replacing it almost immediately after moving in he had done nothing other than a few minor fixes around the place. He really didn’t spend that much time at the house back then. And he had left for a 14 month deployment not long after he bought the place, so he wasn’t really around much. But after getting the job at Angels, after growing closer to Leanne and Ariel, he had started spending more time at the place and had started to realize just how horrible it really was.

“Was the whole place like that?” He wanted to tell her that it still was, but she had seen the living room, so surely she knew that it wasn’t all still painted horrific colors.

“Oh you have no idea.” However, at one point, it totally had been. His bedroom had been various shades of teal, and not a pretty teal either, a disgusting shade of teal that made him dizzy. And his kitchen, well he didn’t even have to turn the lights on at night the fluorescent orange was so bright.

“It didn’t look so bad.” _Well of course not, he had done a lot of work to it over the past year._ “Other than the fact that you have no furniture. And there’s sawdust everywhere.”

“I put down new floors.” He took another bite of his burrito and silently reminded himself to never make that choice again. He had had better things out of a pouch.

“You mean someone put them down for you?” Her question brought his attention to her once more and he raised an eyebrow. _Did she think he was capable of doing anything?_

“No. I did it myself.” In reality, he and Mario had done it, but he figured he would take the credit since the younger man probably didn’t want anyone to know that he spent three consecutive weekends laying down wood floors in Ethan’s house. 

“You did not?” He wanted to tell her to ask Mario for proof.

“Yeah.” But he figured that wouldn’t end well for him at all.

“Between work and Ariel when did you have time?” He really didn’t know how they managed to get it all done in three weekends. And they worked on top of it.

“I don’t sleep much.” And in truth, apparently neither did Mario, because they seemed to do the majority of their work in the middle night while the girls slept down the hall. How they hadn’t all murdered each other he would never understand.

“So you’re remodeling it yourself then?” _Wasn’t that part obvious?_

“Every last bit.” And it was true. He was going to do it all himself, well mostly. He had enlisted Mario’s help for the floors, and they had plans to put in new windows in the upcoming weeks. Leanne and Ariel had tasked Noa with helping them strip the atrocious wallpaper down and paint. But he surely wasn’t paying anyone to do the work for him, except for in beer and pizza. “Except for the new plumbing in the kitchen. I don’t mess with anything that has to do with water or sewage.”

“Well that certainly explains why it’s taken you so long to get anything done.” He resented that remark. He had been working real hard over the past year to make progress on the house. And while it still looked like a hot mess, it was much better than the horror film set he had bought.

“It’s a work in progress.” He shrugged his shoulders as he took another bite of his food. No matter how horrible it tasted he couldn’t seem to get enough.

“And Ariel doesn’t mind?” He wondered what her fascination with asking questions about Ariel was. She seemed awfully interested in his relationship with the teen.

“Well she didn’t.” And that part was also true. She had hated the horrible mess that it had once been and she told Ethan that there was noway she was sleeping in the room with the ugly clown wallpaper. She had had nightmares her first night there and he remembered laughing at her. Until she made him switch rooms with her and he woke up in the middle night feeling like he was being watched. They had started tearing down the wallpaper the following day. “Until I put her bed in the dining room and ripped her closet doors off.”

“Your teenager daughter is sleeping in your dining room?” And then he had decided to completely remodel her room two weeks ago and make it more appropriate for a teenager. Which was also code for letting her spend all his money on buying new furniture and decorations, including building a desk into the former window seat.

“There’s a door. She can close it.” Which was exactly what he had told Leanne when she gave him the same reaction. She had wanted to tell Ethan that maybe Ariel should just stay at her place until he was done, but that had lasted all of two nights before Leanne claimed she needed him to keep an eye on her. Which was code for she was driving Leanne insane.

“You’re ridiculous.” _Maybe he was, but he seemed to be doing just fine._

“She doesn’t seem to mind.” At first Ariel had thought it was weird sleeping next to the dining room table, but then she discovered that she could have snacks in the middle of the night and not have to bother Ethan to get them. “It’s closer to the kitchen. And much further away from me.”

“So where did all of your stuff go?” It’s not like he had much to begin with. His living room furniture just moved into the den, his table got pushed against a wall, and the bedroom furniture had been evenly dispersed throughout the house. He and Ariel had seemed to make do living out of suitcases for the past few months.

“Some of it’s in the garage. Some in the shed.” He didn’t mention that his garage was also housing a rundown 1967 Corvette that was missing an engine and a left front tire. Or that his shed housed more tools than a Home Depot. “A few pieces are at Leanne’s.”

“You’re keeping your furniture at Dr. Rorish’s house?” _What was so weird about that?_ He had gotten the same reaction from Jesse when he had told him.

“Yeah. Well not so much my furniture, more like my breakables.” It was true. His boxes of valuables, what little bit he had anyway, were at Leanne’s for safe keeping. “I don’t really trust those in anyone else’s care.”

“How long do you think this remodel will take?” His brother had asked him that question when he had first bought the place. He had sent him pictures of the horrific nightmare that he had walked into and Jack had teased him mercilessly about his horrible taste.

“Well, it’s been over a year since I officially started,” Although he had done minor repairs off and on over the past seven, “and all I’ve done is put down new floors and buy a new stove...” His hope was to have it done by the time Ariel moved out. “So... another five years probably.”

“Ariel will be in college!” Apparently Rox found that idea just as appalling as Leanne did.

“Then I can turn her room into an office!” Which was also true, he had his eye on that window seat turned desk as it was, but he had been unable to convince the teen to switch rooms with him. She claimed that she liked the view from hers better.

“I can’t with you.” He was perfectly fine with that, especially when he saw Jesse making his way toward them. He knew that he was the one who had been ratting him out to Leanne, telling her about how they had shared a few drinks at the pub, how they were always making small talk. He knew Jesse was just looking out for her, but he really didn’t want to fight about it anymore.

“I gotta go.” He grabbed his phone without another word, leaving his dishes on the table with a huff as he stood, pushing his chair in quickly. “Finish that burrito will ya?” And then he was gone, praying to God that Jesse hadn’t seen them together, or that if he had, he didn’t think twice of it.


	12. Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ethan overhears Leanne’s conversation with Ariel and decides to have a little chat of his own with the girl.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *I figured that Ethan would have some wise words to share with Ariel, especially after hearing Leanne pour her heart and soul out.   
> **Also, I gave Ethan a little more backstory. And I tried to delve into his relationship with Ariel (and Leanne) a little more. Obviously, this is not canon, but there really isn’t anything to work with when it comes to these two interacting with each other.  
> ***Also, slight **spoilers for 3x03**.

Ethan had just finished up a twelve hour shift and was making his way toward the parking deck when he saw her. Ariel. She was sitting on a bench in the back hallway, her phone grasped tightly in her hands, her eyes cast downward as she stared at the object intently. Stopping in his tracks Ethan wondered if he should approach her. He knew that she had had a rough night as well. And while he hadn’t meant to eavesdrop on her conversation with Leanne earlier, he couldn’t help himself. And the words that the older woman had shared with the teen had been like daggers to his own heart.

He knew what it was like to not have a family. To not have anyone afraid of losing him or desperately wanting him around. He understand the girl’s pain. And while he was much older when he lost everything, he knew that grief was something that didn’t just go away, regardless of age. He leaned against the door frame with a quiet sigh, eyeing his pseudo daughter with soft eyes. He wished that she would open up to him more. Or to Leanne more. He just wished that she would talk about what she was feeling instead of keeping it all inside.

“You know, staring at it isn’t going to make it ring.” He said softly, his eyes watching as she turned toward him quickly.

“Not trying to make it ring.” She whispered. He could see the misty look in her soft brown eyes. The sadness and the pain evident as she let out a huff.

“Trying to memorize something?” He could only imagine that she had that concentrated look on her face for a reason. She simply shrugged her shoulders at him then, her attention returning to the small device in her hands. He pushed himself off the door, his hand going to drop his bag on the floor next to the small bench, his body aching as he plopped himself down next to her. “You okay kid?”

“Today would’ve been his birthday.” She whispered, her shaky hands dropping her phone down to her lap softly.

“Who’s birthday?” He would’ve guessed her father’s, but he wanted to see if she would say it herself.

“My dad’s.” Her voice was so quiet that he barely heard it, but when he turned his eyes toward the phone he noticed the picture of a younger Ariel and a man who was most obviously her father. They were both smiling in the picture, laughing even, and Ethan felt a pang in his chest. He couldn’t remember a time when ‘his’ Ariel had ever looked that happy.

“Yeah?” He hoped that she would take this and roll with it instead of shutting him out. “How old would he have been?”

She shrugged her shoulders once more before turning her phone off, her head falling back against the wall with a huff. He gave her a few minutes, afraid to push her to far, to quick. The last thing he wanted to do was scare her off, Leanne ran away from him enough as it was. When she didn’t say anything he reached his hand over, taking hers gently as he tugged her toward him.

“I’m sorry kid.” He whispered softly, his arm moving to wrap around her shoulders as she sank into his side, her head going to his shoulder. “I know you miss him.”

“I don’t even remember him.” She spat back, her body shaking in his arms as a new round of tears formed in her eyes. “How can I miss something I don’t remember?”

“Surely you remember something, anything. Even if it’s small.” She shook her head against his shoulder and all he could do was lean down and press a kiss against her blonde locks. He didn’t know what that was like, to not remember. Sometimes he almost wished he didn’t, he wondered if life would be easier that way. 

“Does that make me a bad daughter?” She whispered her question against the material of his shirt and he felt his heart break in two at her words. If there was anything that Ariel wasn’t, it was a bad daughter. 

“No angel, far from it.” He whispered back, squeezing her tightly against his side. “You’re a great daughter.” And that part was true. He knew he didn’t have anything to compare it too, but as far as he was concerned she was doing just fine at the job.

They sat in silence for a while, her quiet sobs softening as she started to relax against him. He wanted to just wrap her up in his arms and take her away from this place. Her and Leanne both. He couldn’t stand seeing either one of them hurt like this. He felt her shift beside him, her hands reaching up to rub at her tear-filled eyes, and he dropped another kiss against her head. 

“She’s right you know?” His voice was soft and he prayed that she had heard him because he didn’t know if he could say them again. Admitting that Leanne was right was definitely not something he wanted other people to see him doing. Even though, she pretty much always was.

“Who’s right?” Ariel’s question was quiet, but she looked up at him with questioning eyes and he couldn’t help but smile down at her softly.

“Leanne.” There, he’d admitted it, Leanne was right.

“Oh God. Don’t let her hear you say that.” Apparently Ariel understood the need for not letting that secret get out.

“I mean it kid.” And he did mean it. He had heard what Leanne had said to Ariel earlier, about her being home, about them being her family. She was right about all of it. And while she didn’t get specific and she didn’t mention herself and Ethan by name, she knew that she was feeling it, that she was speaking from a place deep inside, a place they were both so desperate to get to, together.

“What is she right about?” She raised an eyebrow as she leaned back from him a little, her hands falling to her lap as she let out a soft breath.

“What she said to you earlier. In the morgue.” He hated to admit to eavesdropping, but he figured that this was one conversation that Leanne wouldn’t have minded him knowing about.

“You heard that?” But apparently Ariel wasn’t too sure about it, because her eyes got dark and her face got red and he could see the way she was almost, embarrassed, by what had happened earlier. He knew that she hated being seen as vulnerable, but he knew that he was the one person that she seemed to open up to. He was incredibly thankful for that, although he guessed that Leanne probably wasn’t as happy.

“I went down to check on her.” Which was true. He knew that she had gone downstairs to say her goodbyes to Jose, he had watched her silently from his place in the hallway as she made her way to the elevator, her eyes holding back her tears. He had given her a minute, but then followed her, hoping to get a few minutes to offer her some comfort of his own. “When I saw you two together, I kept my distance. I figured you two needed that.”

“Oh.” Ariel really didn’t seem that surprised by his statement and he guessed that she probably expected him to be keeping a close eye on the older woman.

“You are home kid.” He nudged her gently with his shoulder, his gray eyes staring down at her as he spook. “You know that right?”

“So everyone keeps telling me.” Her voice was quiet and shaky and Ethan could see her fighting back the tears once more.

“Well it’s true.” He watched as she turned her head away from him, her hand shooting up quickly to brush the tears from her face. “Home is so much more than four walls and the blood in your veins.” He meant those words more than he had probably meant just about anything else in his entire life. 

“Are you about to get all sentimental on me?” She turned her attention back toward him, a soft humor in her eyes as she tried to laugh her way out of the situation. He frowned at her in response. This was normally something she did with Leanne and Jesse, not hm.

“Yes. I figured it was about time.” She was really the only person he was open with either if he was being honest.

“Ugh.” She let out a huff as she leaned back against the bench, her eyes rolling back in her head.

“Ariel...” He used what Jesse liked to call his ‘dad voice’ and it must have worked because she sat up straight and turned her attention back toward him, a curious look in her eyes.

“What?” He was thankful for the lack of attitude in her voice. She knew not to pull that shit with him.

“I mean it. Just like Leanne means it.” And he knew that they both did mean it, more than anything in this world. “You’re home here, with us, whether together or separate, we are your home. Your family.” He reached out then, squeezing her hand gently as he did his best to keep his own tears at bay. “And that’s never going to change.”

“Then why does it feel so...” He heard her voice crack at the end of her statement and he knew that she was close to losing it, again.

“Scary? Confusing?” He knew exactly what she was going through, exactly what emotions were running through her head, and her heart. He had felt all those emotions in overdrive a little over a year ago when he had first come to Angels.

“Yes and yes.” He offered her a soft smile as she spoke and he watched as she blinked back her tears, her head falling downward.

“Because it’s been so long since you’ve felt something like this and your heart is confused.” That was a feeling he hadn’t quite grown out of it to be honest. “It doesn’t know which way is up or what is right and what is wrong.” And that one too. “Your fighting it too, which doesn’t help.”

“When did you become an expert on family?” Her question was sharp and he guessed that she was trying to make him mad, trying to push him away. It was always her tactic with him, but unlike with Leanne, he didn’t give in to her. Instead he reached out and tapped her chin gently, bringing her head back up so that he could look her in the eyes.

“When I came to Angels.” He whispered. And that was true. He didn’t know anything about family until he had come here. Until he met Leanne and Jesse and Noa and Mario. Until he’d spent countless hours surrounded by these morons that he now loved like his own.

“Huh?” She seemed confused by his statement and he figured that he probably should have elaborated at least a little.

“I haven’t had a family in years kid. Much longer than you’ve even been alive.” And that part was beyond true. After his mom died when he was 14 it had just been him and Jack and their dad. And then his dad had remarried after only a few months and she had kids of her own and then they had more kids together and he Jack had fallen to the wayside. He had left town the second he had turned 18, joining the military without a second thought. The only reason he had ever turned to that God forsaken city in North Carolina was Jack. And when Jack followed him into the service, and then to LA, and then to Afghanistan, he had been thankful that he never had to go back there. “I know what it feels like to be alone. To have no one.” Granted, up until a few years ago he had had Jack. But there had been deserts between them, sometimes even oceans and entire continents, and it’s not like he could just pick up the phone and say ‘hey, I need a hug’ after a bad day. “I know how scary it is to think that no one would ever love me again. That they’d never want me. I know that feeling better than anyone. Except I deserved my pain. You don’t.”

“I highly doubt that.” He didn’t know if she meant that he didn’t deserve his pain, or that she did, but he felt his heart break a little in his chest watching his kid cry big fat tears, the balls of water streaming down her face at his words.

“It’s true kid.” And it was. He had deserved everything that happened to him. She on the other hand. She was a helpless kid who just happened to have some shitty luck. 

“How did coming to Angels change that?” She rubbed at her eyes once more, a small sniffle escaping her as she tried to compose herself. “What’s so damn special about this place anyway?”

“Because Angels is home.” And he meant that. Despite having chosen to go out in the field, despite spending more of his time with Rox than with the doctors inside, it was still his home. “These people, our people, they’ve become the family I’ve never had, the family I’ve always wanted.” And whether he wanted to admit it or not, he loved them all in their own little ways. Some of them, obviously, more than others. “And yeah we’re a little weird and we’re different and we don’t always get along. But we love each other, no matter what. And we are always, always there for each other. That’s what makes us family Ariel. Not our DNA. But our love.”

“Leanne keeps saying the same thing.” He knew that she kept telling her that, he was well aware, because she kept telling him the same thing.

“She’s a smart woman.” And that she was. One of the smartest if you asked him. “You should try listening to her every now and then.”

“I don’t know how to stop feeling like this?” She shook her head back and forth softly, her blonde hair falling in her face as she let out a soft sob. He could see her struggling to find the words, to gather her thoughts, to get herself together.

“I know kid.” And he did know, better than anyone, how hard it was to accept that feeling. He had pushed everyone away when he had started at Angels. Determined that he was going to be a lone wolf and that he didn’t need anyone. But then he had bonded with Noa, and with her came Mario, and with him, Angus. And then he had been drawn in by everything that Leanne said and did. And everyone knew that with Leanne, came Jesse. And then, Ariel. And his whole world had been turned around by the teen currently sobbing in front of him.

“I feel bad. Like I’m hurting Leanne’s feelings.” She let out another sob and he pulled her into his arms, wrapping them around her tightly as she cried into his chest. “It’s not that I don’t want to be here, I just don’t feel like I deserve it.” She wrapped her arms around him tightly, pressing herself against his chest as she choked out her words. “Like this isn’t the place for me.”

“Well it is kid. And that’s never gonna change.” He whispered his words, pressing a kiss against her hair as he rubbed her back soothingly. “Even when you’re older and you’ve moved away and you have a family of your own. This, this will always be home.” And he meant that so much that he felt his own tears start to fall. This would always be her home and there would always be a place for her here, no matter what happened.

“Please tell me you’ll at least have furniture in your house by then?” He let out a soft chuckle at her words as he dropped another kiss to her hair before pulling away from her some.

“At this rate, I’ll probably still be eating off the floor and your bed will still be in my dining room.” He joked, but he knew that it was a possibility. He really needed to get his butt in gear and finish that damn house before she went away to college. He wanted her to have a real bedroom to come home to when she visited. If, she visited.

“You don’t think it bothers Leanne that I spend time with you do you?” Her question threw him for a loop and he offered her a raised eyebrow as he swallowed.

“Why would you say that?” His question was quieter than he had planned, but he didn’t understand where this was coming from. He had never gotten the impression that Leanne was bothered by their bond before.

“I don’t know. She just... she seems like sometimes she wants to say ‘no’.” Okay, he had gotten that impression before. But he figured it was just Leanne being, well, Leanne. “Like she doesn’t want me to come over.”

“I don’t think it’s that kid.” He really didn’t think that she didn’t want them to bond. In fact, she had been the one that had asked him to show an interest in Ariel when she first started hanging around. Leanne had figured that he could help whip her into shape. That maybe he could put some kind of fear into her that would convince her to do her homework and stay in school and not stay up all night. Rather, he had been the one taking her to midnight movies on school nights and sneaking junk food into the house. “I think she just worries about you whenever you’re not somewhere that she can see you.”

“But she has to know I’m safe with you, right?” God he hoped that Leanne never thought he would put the girl’s life in danger. He would die before he would let anything happen to her.

“I would hope so.” She swallowed then, nodding her head up and down as she blinked back her tears. He wondered if Ariel knew something that he didn’t. If Leanne had ever expressed something to her that she didn’t want to share with him. But he didn’t want to pry, not now, not when they had such a good rapport going.

“I just don’t want to hurt her.” And he got that. He really did.

“That makes two of us.” He cared about Leanne more than he had ever cared about another woman before in his life. Ever. And if he was being honest, he might even say that he was starting to love her. But he knew that he could never admit that out loud, not yet anyway, and probably not for a very long time.

“You really care about her don’t you?” But he suspected the kid was probably on to him.

“Yeah.” He felt a blush creep up his neck and he guessed by the smile on her face that she knew that he was getting uncomfortable with her line of questioning.

“This isn’t just a fling for you is it?” _What was this, a game of twenty questions?_ Not that he minded being honest with Ariel. Hell, if there was anyone in this world that he could be honest with it was her.

“No kid. It’s not.” And again, that was the truth. He wasn’t a ‘fling’ kind of guy. He didn’t have a different girl every night. He wasn’t Jack. No, rather, he wooed his women, spoiled them, treasured them even. And if there was ever a woman that he was going to woo, spoil, and treasure. It was going to be Leanne Rorish. “I care about both of you, a lot, and I’m in this for the long haul if that’s what you guys want.”

“What if something happens between you two?” He honestly didn’t even want to think about that. He had worked so hard to finally get Leanne into his arms. He didn’t even want to fathom what life without her would look like.

“What do you mean?” He asked his question cautiously, afraid of where the teen was going to take this.

“If you and Leanne don’t work out? If something happens and you break up. What happens to me then?” Her question suddenly made perfect sense. While they acted like a divorced couple before they finally got together, he knew that it certainly wasn’t the ideal situation, especially not for Ariel. But now, well now she knew what it felt like to have them together, and he could only imagine that she was scared of losing that feeling. Because lord only knew that he was absolutely terrified of it.

“Nothing Ariel. What happens between Leanne and I has nothing to do with you.” And he meant that. Just like it had been before. Their relationships with the girl were separate from their relationship with each other. They had never once tried to put the girl between them (although she often did it to herself) and they had always maintained that their roles as ‘mother’ and ‘father’ came first. “We won’t let it hurt our relationships with you. We’ve already made that very clear to each other.”

“What if she stops letting me see you?” And there it was, his biggest fear echoed in her soft voice.

“I don’t think she’d do that honey.” He prayed above everything else that Leanne would never tell him that he wasn’t allowed to see the girl. Because while it would be a stupid rule, he would respect it because that was what he did. But he hoped that it never happened. He couldn’t imagine his life without the girl in it.

“But...” He guessed that she was probably thinking the same thing.

“Ariel, look at me.” He waited for her eyes to connect with his but they never did.

“What?” She dragged out. He reached down then with both hands, cupping her cheeks gently against his palms as he pulled her head upward, their eyes connecting despite her attempts to ignore him.

“I’m not going anywhere.” He whispered, his eyes boring into hers. He prayed that she could see that he meant it. That he was here to stay. That she was the one thing in his life that he would never turn his back on. “You hear me?” He asked his question softly, smiling at her when she nodded her head in his hands, her eyes filling with tears at his promise. “Whether Leanne and I are a thing or not, makes no difference. I’m here for you, no matter what.” And he prayed that she never forgot that and that she held onto that for as long as she lived. “And if you need me, all you have to do is call.” He leaned forward then, pressing his lips against her forehead as he whispered the rest of his words to her. “I refuse to make you face this life alone. Not after everything you’ve been through. You deserve better than that.”

He felt her fall apart then, her whole body crumbling into his arms as she sobbed quietly. He pulled her close, tucking her against his chest as he offered her soft hushes, his lips pressing kiss after kiss against her head. He loved this kid more than anything in the world, more than he had ever loved anyone, save for maybe his brother, and he would do whatever it took to keep her safe. He didn’t care what it meant. She was his priority, above work, above his friends, and if it came down to it, above Leanne. He would never leave her and he would never ask her to go through any of this on her own. Ever.

“Thank you.” She whispered a few minutes later, her eyes puffy from crying as she pulled back.

“For what?” He asked softly, his eyes glistening with tears of his own.

“For loving me.” He barely heard her words but they broke his heart in two. He wondered how long it had been since she had felt loved by someone, other than Leanne. He guessed it had probably been a long time. Probably longer than any teenager should ever go without the feeling.

“No problem kid.” He offered her the biggest smile he could manage and when he saw some of the light return to her eyes he felt his heart beat speed up a little. “You make it pretty easy,” And that again, was true. It was hard not to love the kid, even when she was being a brat or plucking his nerves or spending his money. “Most days anyway.” 

“I could say the same for you.” She joked back, her eyes sparkling as she gave him a soft smile. He knew he had won the lottery when it came to this kid, that he truly was the luckiest man on Earth. Not many men got to pick their daughters, but he did. And he thanked God everyday that he had picked her. Because no matter what happened, she would always be his home.


	13. Trying

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leanne wants Ethan to know that she’s trying. Really, really trying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *I am sorely disappointed in the way the show is going this season, so I’m trying to make up for it with some goodness. There will still be some angst focused around Ethan and Rox’s friendship, but in this chapter, he’s just as fed up with her as we are.

Leanne had been skeptical about showing up at Ethan’s unannounced, especially at 7 in the morning, but after last night, after having heard his conversation with Ariel, she couldn’t help herself. She needed to talk to him, to clear some things up, and it couldn’t wait. So after dropping Ariel off at school she made her way to his place, her heart fluttering in her chest as she got closer and closer. 

Pulling into the driveway she was surprised to see all the lights were still off in the house. He was normally just getting home from his run around this time and she wondered if he had already gone, or was possibly still gone. She took a deep breath as she turned the car off, exiting with a soft sigh and making her way up the small walkway. She stopped when she got to the porch, her ears listening out for any sound of movement inside the small house. But there was none.

“Guess it’s now or never.” She mumbled to herself as she made her way up the stairs. She reached out and rang the doorbell, her hands falling to her sides as she waited for him to answer.

“Coming!” She heard him call from inside the house. She heard his footsteps down the small hallway toward the door and when he pulled the wooden object open he was yawning.

“Morning.” She whispered, her eyes giving him a once over as she offered him a soft smile. He was still in his pajamas, his hair all disheveled and his eyes sleepy.

“Hey.” He whispered back, another yawn escaping his lips as he leaned against the door frame.

“Did I wake you?” She would feel really bad if she had, it was day off after all.

“No.” He yawned again, his hand reaching up to cover his mouth as he closed his eyes. “My alarm went off for my run and I ignored it. Never went back to sleep.”

She could see something in his eyes that was screaming for her to just leave him be. But then he was leaning away from her, leaving space in the doorway for her as he gestured for her to come inside. She wondered if he was just as conflicted about their confrontation as she was.

“I just wanted to stop by and talk.” She grasped her hands together in front of her as she eyed him curiously. He closed the door behind her, his back going to rest against the wood surface as he yawned yet again. “But if now isn’t a good time…”

He shook his head back and forth with another yawn. “It’s fine.” He pushed himself up off the door and headed through the empty front room toward the kitchen in the back. “Want some coffee?”

“Sure.” She answered him softly, her hands shaking as she followed him down the hall. She couldn’t believe she was this nervous to talk to him about this. It’s not like they had never talked about Ariel before. This should have been an easy enough discussion to have.

She watched as he fiddled around with the coffee pot, preparing it before grabbing two mugs from the cabinet beside him. He turned then, eyeing her softly as he leaned back against the counter. “You said you wanted to talk.”

“I heard what you said earlier.” She whispered, her legs stopping as she left a few feet of space between them.

“What are you talking about?” He looked genuinely confused and she guessed that he had no idea that he was being watched last night.

“To Ariel.” A look of recognition came over his face at the use of the teen’s name and she hoped that she wasn’t about to start a fight. “About her home. Her family.”

“You heard that?” His question was soft, just like the gaze that he was giving her.

“I guess you aren’t the only one who’s good at being stealthy.” She hoped that a little joke might help lighten the extremely tense atmosphere of the small room.

“I didn’t mean to eavesdrop.” She could tell that he felt guilty for what he had witnessed between her and the girl in the morgue earlier last night.

“Neither did I.” And that was true, she had never guessed that she would stumble upon the pair in an old, quiet hallway of Angels last night. “Jesse and I had been looking for her for a while. We were glad to see she was somewhere safe.”

“You heard that part too huh?” The guilt in his eyes strengthened and she felt bad for making him think that he couldn’t be open with the girl, or with her.

“I heard the whole thing.” And it was true, she and Jesse had arrived just in time to hear Ethan ask about Ariel’s father. The teen’s comment about being a bad daughter had made her cry and Jesse had been the only thing that kept her from interfering and speaking her peace to the girl.

“Ah.” He nodded his head as he closed his eyes, his arms crossing over his chest with a soft sigh.

“I happen to agree with everything you said.” And that was also true. She did agree with him. About everything.

“That’s a first.” She could tell that he was looking to pick a fight and she guessed that he was probably more exhausted than he let on. She wondered just how much sleep he had gotten after leaving the hospital last night.

“You made some good points.” And he had made some very good points, especially about the teen’s role in their lives. In her role here at Angels, with them.

“See, I sometimes know what I’m doing.” He shrugged his shoulders then, offering her a look that was somewhere between a glare and a question.

“You’re better at this ‘dad’ thing than you give yourself credit for.” And that part was definitely true. He had the ‘dad’ part down pat, even if he didn’t see it. She knew that she got lucky with him. That she had definitely struck gold by having him in her life, and Ariel’s.

“I highly doubt that.” She could see his lack of self-confidence in his eyes. In the way his hands were starting to shake, his body growing stiff against the counter. “But thanks.”

“I mean it Ethan. You’re doing just fine.” In fact, he was doing better than fine, but she knew that he wouldn’t take her word for it. “She’s happy and she’s taken care of. That’s what’s important.”

“I really do love her. You know that right?” And she did, more than ever, she understood just how much he cared about the teen. “I’d never let anything happen to her. Ever.”

“I know.” She whispered. “I’ve never doubted that.”

“Could’ve fooled me.” His words hurt and she felt her heart skip a beat at them. She never knew that he thought she felt poorly about him when it came to his relationship with the teen. She thought she had always been pretty obvious that she trusted him with Ariel. She must have thought wrong.

“Ethan please...” She wasn’t here to fight, she really wasn’t. “I’ve had a long night and my heart hurts almost as much as my head. I don’t wanna fight.”

“That’s a first.” _Well he sure was on a roll with the digs at her heart wasn’t he?_

“Ethan...” She could see his eyes blinking rapidly as he tried to focus himself, to bring himself back down.

“Sorry.” He whispered as he reached his hands up to rub at his face. “I’m... I’ll stop. I’m sorry.”

“What’s wrong Ethan?” She knew something was bothering him. She could always tell when he wasn’t in the right state of mind, when something was off. It was obvious now more than ever.

“Nothing.” He growled, his angry eyes staring back at her. She must have struck another nerve.

“Liar.” She wished that he would just be honest with her. She hated this whole back and forth game they had started. It wasn’t fair to either one of them.

“Takes one to know one.” Another dagger to the heart and she took a step back, tears forming in her eyes as she tried not to react the way she so desperately wanted to.

“Maybe I should go…” She figured that was probably the best course of action. They didn’t need to be around each other when they were like this. They both needed to just learn when to walk away from the other, especially before things got bad.

“No. Don’t.” His words were rushed as he took a step toward her, his hands reaching out for her as his eyes softened. “I’m sorry.”

“You keep saying that and yet you keep attacking me.” She really didn’t understand why he was so angry with her. They had been doing so much better the past few weeks. “Did I do something wrong Ethan?”

“No.” She figured that was probably a lie. Because why else would he be coming at her like this, saying these things to her? She had to have screwed up somewhere. “I’m... I don’t even know why I’m mad.”

“Well maybe I should leave and let you figure it out.” Leaving him to his own devices, letting him sort out his issues on his own, might just be the best thing for them both right now. “I didn’t come over to fight. I’d be just as content to sit at home and drown my sorrows in a bottle of wine and a sappy movie.”

“Then why did you come over?” Honestly, she didn’t really know the answer to that question. She had wanted to confront him about what he had said to Ariel. But she was also hoping to seek some comfort from him after what had happened yesterday. She was hurting from the loss of Jesse’s brother too. They had once been her family just as much as Jesse was.

“Because I much prefer your company.” That was really true. She’d much rather drink her wine and watch her sappy movies with him than alone. That and she had missed the feeling of his arms around her the past few days. Their schedules had been all over the place and she really hadn’t had the chance to see him much. “And after the day we’ve both had, I figured we could, comfort each other. If you know what I mean?”

“So you came here for a booty call?” Okay, that was totally not where she was going with this. However, she was perfectly okay if that was how this ended. At this point, she figured make-up sex might be just what they needed.

“I came here seeking comfort from my boyfriend.” _Boyfriend?! Wait a minute?!_ That wasn’t right was it? They had never established what they were exactly, other than two people who cared about each other.

“So I’m your boyfriend now?” Apparently he didn’t get the memo either.

“I thought we were on the road there...” She really did think that being ‘boyfriend/girlfriend’ was in their not to distant future. However, she figured they were maybe too old for such labels.

"I know I was,” He let out a sigh as he craned his head from side to side, “but you gave me the impression that we weren't even on the same highway.”

“I didn’t mean for that to happen.” And she really hadn’t. She didn’t understand why things between them were the way they were. She had no explanation for why they fought constantly, for why they were always at each other’s throats. “I know things have been...”

“Hard? Weird?” Those words described their relationship perfectly at this point.

“It’s a learning curve for me Ethan.” She hadn’t been with anyone since her husband had died. And she had no clue what she was doing. She figured that he was probably a little rusty as well. But they had been trying to make it work, and she thought they had been doing okay. She must have, yet again, guessed wrong.

"It's not exactly a walk in the park for me either but I thought it would be a walk we took together.” His words hit her in a place deep inside and she felt her heart start to ache. She wondered if he wanted out of this. If he was going to leave her hanging.

“I’m willing to try Ethan.” And she wanted to try more than she’d ever wanted anything in her life.

“Try? I need more than a try Leanne.” She didn’t understand what that meant and she could feel herself starting to get frustrated with him.

“Ethan. Please.” She begged softly, her arms wrapping around herself as she took a deep breath. She really, really didn’t have the mental or emotional energy to fight with him right now. “I don’t know what else to say. I want to make this work.”

“Do you?!” He practically screamed at her.

“Yes!” So she screamed right back at him.

“Are you gonna stop pushing me away? Stop treating me like you don’t even know me?” She figured that was fair, she hadn’t exactly been keeping him close when it came to matters of her emotions. “Are you gonna stop bringing up Rox and making it seem like I’m gonna leave you in the gutter for her?” That one she wasn’t so sure about. She still had a sick feeling when it came to the woman. And while she was crazy about Ethan, she saw the way he looked at the younger doctor. She wasn’t stupid. She knew she couldn’t compete. “Are you gonna start trusting me? With yourself? With Ariel?”

“I’m trying Ethan.” But her heart told her that she needed to forget all of that. She needed to let him in, to stop shutting him out. She needed to trust him with Rox and just let her jealousy go. She needed to start trusting that he was there for her, for Ariel, and that he cared about them. She needed to do all of those things. And for once, she was finally willing to do just that. “Please believe that.”

“I want to.” She could hear the struggle in his voice. She knew he was having a hard time staying composed.

“So why don’t you?” She hoped his answer didn’t break her heart.

“We don’t exactly have the best track record together.” Well that was true. They fought like cats and dogs, constantly, she could honestly understand his hesitation.

“I know. And I’m sorry.” And she knew that it was mostly her fault, although she knew that he was also sometimes the one to blame.

“You really heard everything I said to Ariel earlier?” His eyes were questioning as he took another step toward her, his hands reaching out for her waist as he took a deep breath.

“Yes.” She reached out for him then, her hands going to rest against his chest as he pulled her close.

“So you know this isn’t just a fling for me? This is the real deal.” She could see it in his eyes how much he meant it. “I’m not playing around here. I’m all in. You and Ariel. You’re a package deal and I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

“I heard Ethan. I’m willing to try. I really am.” And she really, really was. She just wanted him to know that. 

He offered her a soft smile before he leaned down, pressing his lips gently against hers. She smiled as he wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her flush against him. Wrapping her arms around his neck she pressed her body as close as possible, her tongue running along his lips as she felt him sigh into the kiss. He pulled back then, his forehead going to rest against hers as he smiled at her softly.

“I’m going back to bed, you coming?” She could see the desire in his eyes and she knew that he meant that there would be absolutely no sleeping involved.

“I’m not tired.” And she was perfectly okay with that.

“It’s only 7:45…” She knew what he was insinuating, that they would have almost an entire day together without interruptions before they would have to get the teen from school.

“So?” She wanted to see how far he would go. If he would take a bold move and throw her over his shoulder. Or maybe drag her down the hallway, his lips pressed against hers as he drove her crazy.

“Fine. Make yourself at home.” He huffed and she wondered what she had done wrong. But then he was smiling at her as he pulled from her embrace, his legs started to carry him down the hallway. “I’m still going back to bed.”

“I’ll make you breakfast...” She knew she was evil and that he would surely get back at her for this.

“Fiiine...” But then again, she knew that the way to this man’s heart was through his stomach. And his favorite meal of the day was breakfast after all.

“Good. You can help me!” She offered him a giant smile as she made her way further into the kitchen, her hands reaching for the cabinet door where he kept his pots and pans.

“I never agreed to that.” But then his hands were on her waist again and he was trying to drag her back to him.

“But it’s your kitchen.” She whined, pulling from his embrace and giving him a look that she hoped told him that she meant business. “Don’t you want to supervise me?”

“No.” His answer was matter of fact and the look that he gave her set her insides on fire, in a good way.

“What if I cook naked?” She couldn’t believe those words had come out of her mouth, and judging by the look on his face, neither could he.

“I’ll be doing more than supervising!” His eyes started to darken as he offered her a sly smile.

“Would you at least help me then?” She asked, her eyebrow raising as she watched him edge his way closer.

“Oh honey I’d be doing more than helping you.” There was a sultry hint in his tone and she watched as his eyes darkened, his long legs carrying him the rest of the way across the small kitchen.

“Excuse me?” She choked out, her legs doing their best to carry her away from him. She let out a frustrated huff when her back hit the counter.

“You cook naked and I’ll be doing you,” His hands reached for her hips as he stopped in front of her, his fingers going to brush against the bare skin under her shirt. She let out a moan when his head dropped to her shoulder, his lips dancing over the skin of her neck, “on the kitchen counter.” He growled out, nipping at her flesh.

“But what about breakfast?” She choked out, her breath catching in her chest as his hand wandered further up her shirt, his fingers grazing over her bra as he continued nipping at her neck.

“I’m only hungry for one thing right now.” His voice was low and she swallowed when he brought his eyes up to meet hers. 

She got ready to reply when he crashed his lips against hers, his fingers gripping her hip tightly as the other pushed her bra aside. She reached up finally, her hands going to tangle in his hair as she tried to drag him closer.

Leanne’s hands had just wandered under Ethan’s shirt, her mind having completely forgotten about breakfast, when there was a knock at the front door. 

“Ignore them.” Ethan growled, his teeth tugging on her bottom lip gently as he pulled her T-shirt over her head.

“I was planning on it.” She mumbled back, her hands stilling against his bare stomach when there was another knock.

“They’ll go away.” He whispered, his head falling downward to drop kisses over her collarbones.

“They’d better.” She dragged out, her fingers tugging on the hem of his T-shirt.

There was another knock, followed by another, and then Leanne heard it, the unmistakable sound of Ethan’s phone ringing from down the hall.

“Fuuuuck.” His voice was low and his eyes were dark as he pulled away from her chest, his forehead falling against hers as his hands dropped to her hips.

“Who the hell could that be?” Her voice was shaky and she was pretty sure that only part of it had to do with the fact that Ethan had just been leaving a hickey on her chest.

“I don’t know.” He growled out, his eyes closing as he tried to catch his breath. “But I wish they would take a hint.”

“Are you supposed to work today?” She asked her question as his phone rang once more, another bang against the front door sounding out as the person on the other side lost their patience.

“No.” He whispered, his eyes locking with hers as he ran his fingers over her bare stomach. “I was planning to spend the day with you.”

She offered him a soft smile, her hands moving to grip the back of his head softly as she pulled him in for another kiss. She was just running her tongue along his lips when there was another loud bang against the front door, followed by a voice that Leanne prayed she never heard outside of this house again.

“Ethan!” Rox’s voice was like nails on a chalkboard. “I know you’re in there!”

“You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me?” She dragged out her question as her hands stilled against his neck. She couldn’t believe the nerve of this woman.

“Language?” Ethan raised an eyebrow at her and she knew that she had just let all of her frustration show by dropping the F-bomb. 

“Oh please.” She mumbled, closing her eyes as she got ready to push him away. She heard him let out a sigh as his hands grounded her, pinning her body back against the counter with a growl.

“Go away Rox!” He screamed out, his head falling back to its place against her neck, his lips sucking at the flesh as she dropped her head backward.

“We gotta go!” Leanne heard Ethan let out a grunt as he pulled a hand from her hip. She watched as he reached behind him, his middle finger waving in the general direction of the front door.

“I’m a little busy!” He shouted back, his other hand tightening its hold on her hip as he dragged his teeth across her skin. She let out a moan at the motion, her fingers gripping his hair tightly as she ground her hips against his.

“Too bad!” If Leanne had disliked this woman before, she really really disliked her now.

“It’s my day off!” His voice was shaky as he brought his other hand back to her, cupping her cheek gently in his hand as he dragged her lips to his. He kissed her, hard, as he pushed her back against the counter with his hips.

“Don’t care!” Leanne practically felt Ethan’s patience crack right then and there. He pulled from her with a soft growl, his thumb reaching out to brush over her swollen lips.

“Don’t move.” He whispered, his hand squeezing her hip gently as he stepped away from her and headed down the small hallway and toward the door.

Leanne waited with bated breath as she heard the front door being jerked open, Ethan’s other hand going to his hip as he undoubtedly stared daggers back at the younger woman.

“What the fuck do you want Rox?” His voice was full of nothing but anger and hostility and Leanne knew that the paramedic had officially crossed a line.

“We have a call.” Leanne watched as she took a step inside, only for Ethan to practically push her back out. “Come on. Get dressed.”

“I’m not going anywhere.” He growled. “So you need to leave.”

“Stop being such a pansy.” She pushed past him then, making her way into the front room as Ethan let out an angry huff behind her. 

“Get out!” He motioned toward the front door and Leanne could see his body start to shake with rage. She knew that he would never do anything rash, but he might just scream at the woman until he was blue in the face.

“Chill out dude.” She choked back a growl of her own at the other woman’s words. Who did she think she was? “It’s just a call. I’ll give you a minute,” She turned back toward him then, her eyes raking over his bare chest as she paused her words, “to get ready.”

Leanne wanted to scream out at her. To tell her to get out. That this wasn’t her place. But when she shifted her feet her hand fell from its place on the counter. And so did a fork. And she felt her whole world stop as Rox turned her attention toward the kitchen.

“What the...?” She saw Rox appear in the doorway before she had a chance to think and when she realized that she was still standing there without a shirt on, her skin still flushed and covered in bite marks, Ethan’s handiwork at its finest, she had the sudden urge to throw up.

“Oh. My. God.” Rox turned away quickly, her eyes going from Leanne to Ethan and back again.

“I told you I was busy.” He growled out, his dark eyes boring into hers as he moved to put himself between the two women.

Leanne watched over Ethan’s shoulder as Rox struggled to find the words. Rox thankfully didn’t say anything back, instead, she turned and walked out, her hand reaching out to pull her cellphone from her back pocket as she went

It might not have been a big victory. And it certainly wasn’t how she wanted to obtain it. But she doubted that Rox would ever question Ethan’s loyalty to her ever again.

Ethan shut the door behind her as she went and he let out a huff as he turned around to face her.

“I am so sorry.” She could hear the anger in his voice and it over powered his sympathy by just enough that Leanne wondered if he was better off being left alone.

“It’s okay.” She whispered back, her shaky hands reaching out for him as she took a step away from the counter. “I can leave if you want.”

“Don’t you dare.” He said softly, his hands going back to her hips as he eyed her softly. “I’m not going anywhere.”

“Okay.” She barely heard her words but when Ethan leaned down and placed a kiss against her lips, she felt her whole world spin. She couldn’t believe that he had such an affect on her.

Ethan’s hands gripped her waist tightly as he started backing her toward the bedroom down the hall. “Need you.” He growled against her neck, his teeth grazing over the skin of her shoulder.

“Good to know.” She whispered, her mind going fuzzy as he slammed her back against the wall in the hallway just outside his bedroom door. She got a perfect view of the street then, her eyes peering through the window in Ariel’s room curiously. “She’s still here.”

“For fuck’s sake.” He growled, his head falling still against her shoulder as his hands tightened around her hips. He got ready to pull away from her when his phone started ringing again from its place inside his room. 

“If that’s her...” Leanne was officially mad. And she was officially done.

Ethan pushed himself away from her then, his legs carrying his body into his bedroom with a huff. She heard him answer his phone with a growled out “Whaaaat?” And then there was silence, and it was eerie. Leanne instantly knew something was amiss.

“Ethan...” She dared to take the few steps into the small room at the end of the hall, her eyes searching for him. She found him standing in the middle of the room, his phone still held up to his ear. He held a finger up to silence her, his eyes rolling as he dropped his head forehead.

“Fine.” He huffed out as he pulled the phone from his ear and ended the call. He tossed the phone onto the bed as he ran his fingers through his hair with a sigh. “I have to go.”

She let out a growl as she stopped walking. “Why?” She really didn’t understand this. It was his day off, why in the hell was he being made to go to work now?

“Campbell.” Was all he said. And she felt her heart clench in her chest. Her dislike for the ER director wasn’t nearly as great as it had once been, but he was surely starting to work his way up to being on her bad side once again.

“She called Campbell?!” Leanne couldn’t believe that Rox had stooped so low.

“Apparently.” He scrubbed his hands over his face as he took a step toward her. 

“I hate her.” She growled out. Her arms going to cross over her mostly naked chest. 

“That makes two of us.” He huffed out again and his hands went to her hips once more, pulling her toward him. “I’m so sorry about all of this.”

She dropped her head down to his chest, her arms uncrossing so that she could wrap them around his waist. She felt tears pricking at her eyes and she prayed that she could hold it together until he had left. She really didn’t want him to see her so out of wack.

“It’s not your fault.” She whispered. And it really wasn’t.

“You can stay if you want?” He pulled back then, eyeing her softly as he tried to calm his nerves. “I know you’re tired. I can grab Ariel from work, get some dinner for us on the way home.”

“You don’t mind?” Her question was soft as she brought her hands up to cup his cheeks.

“Of course not.” He whispered back, his forehead falling against hers. “It’s the least I can do.”

“Okay.” She felt her heart breaking at the thought of him having to leave now. She had a bad feeling in the pit of her stomach and she didn’t know what it was about, but something deep down inside told her Rox was involved.

“I’ll see you tonight.” He leaned down and pressed a kiss to her lips then. “I promise.” And then he was pulling away from her and heading toward the bathroom down the hall and all she could think about was how much she really, really hated this week.


	14. Rabbit Hole

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rox was pulling Ethan down the rabbit hole, and there was no sunshine in sight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *I’m really disappointed in parts of episode 3x04 but it did give me some good inspiration for where to take this story. Also, I tried to once again give Ethan some more depth (and I’ll be expanding on this some too in later chapters). I also don’t hate Rox as a person, I hate her for being paired when Ethan when he clearly belongs with Leanne. However, you guys know I love some good angst, so here it comes. **Hold on guys, it’s about to get bumpy!**

Ethan had just finished making his rounds and checking on his patients from the road rage incident earlier and all he wanted was ten minutes to himself to relax. His head hurt and he was thoroughly over this day. First it had started with being dragged away from Leanne. Then Rox had pulled that stupid stunt climbing inside the burning car. And now, well now he was tired of dealing with family drama, especially when it wasn’t even his family.

He had just stepped outside and pulled his phone from his pocket, praying that he could make a quick call to Leanne before having to return to his patients, when he heard it. Rox’s voice from behind him, making some comment about motorcycles, her voice cheerful and happy, like nothing had happened. He did his best to ignore her, hoping that she would go away and leave him be. She certainly wasn’t his favorite person in the world, especially not after she had interrupted him and Leanne earlier that morning.

“I don’t get it.” Her voice changed from happy and flirty to curious and exasperated.

“Get what?” Not that he really cared what she got and didn’t get but he figured that maybe humoring her would get her to leave him alone.

“You and Dr. Rorish.” _Oh that…_

“What about us?” He really didn’t know what there was about them that she needed to get. Clearly finding Leanne standing in his kitchen in nothing but her jeans and black lace bra earlier wasn’t a big enough hint for the younger woman.

“I don’t understand your relationship.” He wanted to tell her that he didn’t understand their relationship either, but he didn’t want to open that can of worms just yet.

“There’s nothing for you to understand.” Which was true. It was none of her business what he and Leanne did in their spare time. Although, she had rightfully made it her business when she stormed into his house earlier that morning.

“It’s just weird to me.” He was pretty sure that she was the one being weird right now, but whatever. “You two... earlier…”

He didn’t understand if there was a question there or if she was just baiting him, either way, he didn’t speak up. Instead he stopped, his eyes finally moving from his phone screen to her face. It wasn’t that she was unattractive, because goddamn was she pretty, but her personality was so far leaving much to be desired for. He was used to Leanne’s slow and calm demeanor, her ability to bring him back down to reality something he had long been searching for. Rox on the other hand, well he didn’t even know if she was in this reality with him. And if he was being honest with himself, there was something appealing about that as well.

“Yeah well, you did that to yourself.” She raised an eyebrow at his words, her head cocking to one side as her hair fell over her shoulder.

“You could’ve told me there was a half-naked woman in your house.” The humor in her tone made him chuckle and he hated himself for it. He was supposed to be mad at her. He was supposed to hate her. After all, Leanne surely was.

“I told you I was busy.” And he had told her he was busy, he just hadn’t been specific. He guessed he would need to remember that for future reference. “I still can’t believe you called Campbell on me though.”

She let out a laugh, shaking her head back and forth with a smile, and he felt something, somewhere deep inside, twitch. And he hated it. “I was told you would be helping me! Kinda got my hopes up!”

“Flattery will get you nowhere.” And that was certainly true. She could try and butter him up all she wanted, but he would never give in to her. He had a woman, a perfectly good and beautiful and wholesome woman. He didn’t need another.

“How about food? Will food get me somewhere?” There was a sultry hint to her tone, a flirtatious look in her eyes, and he wondered if she understood that he wasn’t a free man. 

“I’m taken Rox.” Surely being blunt and to the point would do the trick.

“Says who?” Or maybe she just didn’t care. 

“Leanne.” He shook his head back and forth. He couldn’t believe he was having this conversation with her. He was taken, and happily. Leanne meant the world to him, as did Ariel, and he couldn’t bare the thought of being without them. He was safe with them though, and right now he was starting to wonder if safe was what he really wanted.

“But not you?” She had caught him there.

“I’m taken.” He offered her the best smile he could manage and turned his attention back toward his phone. He was trying to will it to ring. For Leanne to call him and distract him and bring him back down.

“I don’t understand how that relationship even works.” Her words were soft, yet there was a fierceness to them that sent shivers down his spine. How did she always seem to know what to say to get him going?

“There’s nothing for you to understand Rox.” And he meant it, she didn’t need to know any details about their relationship. 

“But you guys fight, all the time.” She had a point. But while he and Leanne may have fought all the time, there was a certain sense of intimacy, of respect and understanding, in the relationship that balanced them both out. He would take the fighting, as long as he got the making up as well.

“It's called passion.” And that part was certainly true. There was definitely a lot of passion between them. Now whether that passion was positive or negative most of the time, well that was something they were still trying to figure out. “We fight passionately and we make up passionately"

“I don’t know that I would call that passion Ethan.” There was something in her eyes that said that she wanted to show him just what passion looked like. He swallowed hard at the darkness he saw there. He was being drawn in and he couldn’t stand it. He wanted out. “Looks more like hatred than love.”

“Tomato. Tomahto.” What one person desired in a relationship wasn’t necessarily for everyone else. He and Leanne worked. And they worked well. He didn’t need to try anything else. He knew that there was no hatred there, only love and caring and desire.

“You’re daughter know you two act like that?” Ethan did a double take at her question. _What did Ariel have to do with this?_

“Act like what?” Although surely it didn’t matter, because Ariel was certainly none of her business. Even more than he and Leanne weren’t.

“That you can’t keep your hands to herself.” He couldn’t believe she had gone there. But then he chanced another glance at her and his eyes went wide at the look in her deep browns. He saw something akin to jealousy, and it made him both happy and angry at the same time.

“No, actually, that’s not something I make a habit of discussing with my fourteen year old.” And that was true. While Ariel surely knew that they were sleeping together, in more ways than one, they certainly didn’t advertise it. They remained clothed, and civil, when the girl was around. Save for the occasional kiss, or those rare times when Leanne would squeeze his butt when he walked by, resulting in gagging nosies from the young girl, followed by an eye roll. But their intimate life was a secret, especially from their daughter.

“She know you two fight like that?” Well dammit, she’d surely caught him there.

“We’re working on it.” And they were. They were working on not fighting at all, but they were especially working on not fighting in front of Ariel. They had a bad habit of raising their voices and screaming obscenities at each other when the girl was around and it certainly wasn’t the right thing to be doing.

“You have a fourteen year old.” And of this, he was very well aware. He wondered if she had a point to this conversation or if she was just fishing for information. “You haven’t figured it out by now?”

“What?” He was confused, what were they supposed to be figuring out? They were a new couple, as in, they’d been together maybe two months. And while Ariel was a huge part of his life, and a huge part of hers, they were still adjusting to this whole ‘co-parenting’ thing they seemed to have gotten themselves into.

“You’ve obviously been together a while.” He wanted to laugh at the look on her face. She was just as confused as he was. “If you have a teenager and all.”

“You do know that Ariel’s adopted right?” So maybe she didn’t know anything about their lives together. Which was interesting, considering she acted like they were supposed to be best friends.

“You’re shitting me?” Her eyes were wide and the look of shock on her face made him chuckle. 

“No. Actually I’m not.” He couldn’t wait to see where this conversation went.

“So she’s not Leanne’s?” He wanted to tell her that technically she was, but that was another conversation for another time.

“She ain’t technically mine either.” In fact, she wasn’t his at all. Only in theory. Not that he didn’t claim her as his own, because he certainly did. He loved the girl as if she were his flesh and blood, and the fact that she wasn’t, didn’t phase him a bit when it came to his relationship with her.

“But I could’ve sworn...” She was still staring at him with a deer in the headlights look, and her mouth kept opening and closing, like she wanted to speak but didn’t know what to say. Ethan knew that he shouldn’t find her so attractive in that moment, but there was something about her that was captivating.

"There you go again, making assumptions about things you have no clue about.” He knew he sounded like an ass, but he was hoping that maybe he could get her to finally leave if he was a big enough jerk about the whole thing.

“So wait...” She paused then, turning her whole body toward him and blocking his way as she stopped in the middle of the side walk. “She’s not your daughter?”

“Nope.” He gave her a soft smile at the mention of the teen. “But I claim her as mine. She might as well be.”

“And Leanne?” He didn’t know what Leanne had to do with this. Unless she was once again just fishing for information about his relationship.

“What about Leanne?” He dropped his arms to his sides, his hand sliding his phone into his pocket with a sigh. He really wanted to turn around and walk away right now.

“She’s not Ariel’s mother?” He wondered for a brief second if she had even been paying attention when he talked earlier.

“No. Not biologically anyway.” He crossed his arms over his chest and let out a soft sigh at the pleading look on her face. “She’s in the process of adopting her.”

“But… you’re not adopting her together?” He sure as well wished they were. But that wasn’t the way their relationship worked. 

“No. Why would we be?” He was really curious and he raised an eyebrow at her as she let out a huff.

“Because you’re married…” _Wait… what? They were?_ Ethan was surely not aware of this union between them, and he certainly couldn’t wait to share it with Leanne later. She would have a fit knowing that someone else, yet again, thought they were husband and wife.

Shaking his head back and forth Ethan let out a soft chuckle, his arms dropping to his sides as he felt some of the tension leave his body. He wondered if that was why Rox had been so weird around him. Was it because she thought he was married? He knew he had flirted with her a little in the past, but did she really think he was the kind of man to cheat on his wife?

“No Rox,” He offered her a soft smile, another chuckle escaping his lips as he reached out and patted her arm gently, “we’re not married.”

She let out what sounded like a breath of relief and he figured he had probably been right about her worrying about him cheating with her. He guessed that she didn’t want to be the other woman any more than Leanne had wanted to be.

“Oh thank God.” She let out a chuckle then, her eyes lighting up as she relaxed in front of him. “You had me fooled though.”

He chuckled again, both because she was making him nervous with her adorable behavior and also because he found the situation quite hilarious. “We fool a lot of people.”

“I bet. You guys have the ‘married and on the verge of divorce’ part down pat.” There was a softness to her words then, a light in her eyes that almost made him wonder if she was hoping for a failed marriage instead of just a simple relationship. He figured she was probably a good rebound kind of girl. Especially since she didn’t seem to give a damn about the rules or relationships.

“Yeah, we’re working on the kinks.” And that part was also true. They had yet to figure out how to get rid of ‘on the verge of divorce’ part of their relationship.

“So… you’re not serious about each other though?” She asked softly, her eyes holding out a hope that he almost mirrored, almost.

“We’re… working on it.” He let out a sigh as he reached up to run a hand through his hair. He wanted things to work with Leanne, and not just because he loved her, but also because there was a kid involved and he wanted to provide a home for Ariel that was strong and full of love. He didn’t want her growing up like him. In a house that was full of fighting and instability. He never wanted her to hide in her closet for fear of what might happen if her parents got to fighting again. He wanted her to know that she was loved and that she was cared for and that her parents loved each other. 

He had never had that as a kid. He never understood what his mom saw in his dad. And he certainly never understood why she stayed after years of emotional and mental abuse. Ethan had always guessed that his dad had been physical too, though he had never laid a hand on him or Jack, but his mom always had strange bruises, and she shrunk down three sizes when he came in the room. He hadn’t been very nice to May, his step-mother either, but he had definitely treated her and her children with much more respect than they had ever received. And when they had two more children of their own, well he surely thought that his dad worshipped the ground his half brother and sister walked on. He and Jack though, they were the runts of the litter, despite being the oldest. And he had never forgiven his father for his indiscretions, even after years of Jack Sr. trying to apologize and make things right. He didn’t want Ariel to have to ever see that, to ever hear that. He wanted her to only see love between her parents. And he wanted her to know, more than anything, that her parents loved and adored her. That she was the most precious thing in the world to them both. 

“So if you’re working on it…” Her voice was full of hope and it brought him from his thoughts as he eyed her carefully, “does that mean you’re still on the market?”

He knew she was trying to do. She wanted him. Or at least, a part of him, and she surely wasn’t being shy about it anymore. “No. We’re together Rox.”

“But you could break up?” She offered him a sly look, one that told him that she was up to absolutely no good, and he felt that something, somewhere, deep down inside, twitch once more. “If something better came along?”

He let out a strangled cough, his eyes blinking rapidly as he tried to rid himself of the image that had just flashed through his mind. He had a girlfriend. A girlfriend that he loved. He surely shouldn’t be imagining another woman naked, and in his bed. He clenched his fists against his side as he shook his head back and forth.

“I don’t know about that…” He took a deep breath then, his eyes connecting with hers despite his attempts to keep them from doing just that. “I’m pretty serious about her.”

“Is she just as serious about you?” And while that was a good question, it was a question he would much rather Leanne answer. Because some days, he wondered if she even wanted to be in the same room with him, much less be sharing a bed with him at night.

“I sure hope so.” He whispered back. He blinked his eyes a few more times, willing Rox to vanish from in front of him. This conversation had taken an even more awkward turn and he was starting to regret even giving her this much information.

“I wonder sometimes.” She whispered in response. He felt like maybe she was capable of mind reading, because he had been thinking that exact same thing. “She seems awfully distant.”

“She’s been through a lot.” And while he hated when Leanne used her past as an excuse to pull away from him, it was true, she had been through a lot. And it had broken her and hardened her and turned her into the warrior that she was today. Sometimes that warrior though, was a cold hearted bitch. Not that he could blame her.

“So have you.” She said softly, her hand reaching out to take his softly. He remembered telling her about Jack and about him writing poetry and his death and the flag hanging over his unused fireplace. Part of him regretted that decision, part of him wanted to take it back. But then she was squeezing his hand and there was a look of understanding and patience in her eyes that he had never seen before, and he felt himself falling further down the rabbit hole.

“I’m tough. I can take it.” And that part was true, he was tough, a warrior, and he had been through a lot. He wasn’t afraid of much. In fact, losing Ariel, and Leanne, were his only two worries right now. He could handle anything else life had to throw at him. He was strong.

“I know.” Her voice was full of something that he had never heard there before and he watched as she stepped closer, her body almost invading his personal bubble, almost. “But you shouldn’t have to do it alone.”

He wondered if she truly understood what that meant. If she really knew what it would be like to deal with him in his tough times. Leanne knew, better than anyone, and while they were often too busy pushing each other away to comfort each other, he knew that she at least understood grief and heartache. He didn’t know what Rox could possibly know about that.

“I don’t…” He swallowed then, pulling his hand from hers as he took a step backward. “Go through it alone I mean.”

She let out a sigh as her hand reached up to run through her long brown hair. Ethan swallowed again at the sight. She was drawing him in in all the wrong ways and he hated her for it. “Sure seems like it to me.”

He shook his head back and forth softly as he stuffed his hands in his pants pockets, his eyes softening as he watched her start to turn away from him. Part of him didn’t want her to go. Part of him wanted her to stay and keep talking to him, to keep flirting with him and drawing him further and further down. But then again, part of him wanted to leave and play hooky and go home to his beautiful girlfriend and their empty bed. Although, in hindsight, he realized that they would have to pick Ariel up from school soon, giving them very little alone time. 

“Hey!” He called after her as she started to walk down the sidewalk away from him. “Where you going?”

She gestured over her shoulder toward the food truck a few feet away and he felt his heart tighten when she offered him a soft smile. “To get some food. You ever had Korean before?”

He shook his head back and forth as he took the few steps to draw himself closer to her. He stopped on the sidewalk next to her, his eyes giving her a once over that was totally uncalled for. “Been a while.”

“Let’s go then.” She said softly, her eyes shining in the early afternoon light. “My Emo makes the best Kimchi in town.”

“Kimchi? Really?” He smiled back at her as he followed her lead toward the truck. She let out a soft laugh that sent his stomach for a lurch and he took a deep breath as he tried to ground himself. He knew he should turn around and walk away, that he should go back to the hospital and finish his shift. That he should catch a cab and head home to Leanne. That he should at least pick his daughter up from school. But then she was introducing him to an older woman who looked just like her and they were laughing and she was feeding him Kimchi using chopsticks. And he was officially a goner. The top of the proverbial rabbit hole nowhere in sight.


	15. Making Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ethan was really, really sorry about earlier.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *I started off writing one thing and it somehow turned into something else, so alas, here we have Leanne and Ethan making up. **It’s smut guys, pure smut, you have been warned.**

Leanne had been sorely disappointed when Ethan hadn’t come straight home from work. She had also been disappointed when she had gotten a text from him, saying that he would be late, once again. She had let out a frustrated sigh before punching his pillow and tossing her phone across the bed. After deciding that she couldn’t lay in bed and wallow all day, she had gotten up and showered, pulling on the extra set of clothes she kept at his place just in case. She had even gone out and run errands, but halfway through her trip to the grocery store her phone had rung and Campbell had insisted that she come in. She had let out another sigh before finishing her shopping quickly, putting away any items that would surely go bad if left in her car for hours on end.

She had shot Ariel a text, letting her know to come to Angels after school instead of being picked up, and she had been a mile from the hospital when Ethan had texted her again. He had told her that things were getting messy and that she should be ready to receive a disaster. Road rage accident gone wrong. She had felt a twist in the pit of her stomach at the thought of dealing with a car accident right now. Her heart was already still trying to heal from losing Jose. And her issues with Ethan had been plaguing her mind more than she wanted to admit.

And Ethan had been right. He had brought her a complete and utter mess. And she had worked tirelessly until a little after eleven at night taking care of her patients. She had noticed Ethan acting strange around her, more timid in her presence than normal, and it had worried her. But she hadn’t had time to let her concerns over his behavior get to her, because just before midnight she had stumbled upon Ariel and her new friend in the kitchen, a large bucket of ice cream between them. And when Ariel had said those dreaded words to her, ‘he has cancer’, she had felt something deep inside her break.

She felt heart ache for the young man who may or may not lose his life due to the senseless disease. She felt heart ache for her daughter who may or may not lose a friend. She felt heart ache for herself, and Ethan as well, because she doubted that either of them had any idea how to handle such a situation. She was scared of what this would mean for Ariel, of what kind of hurt this would bring her, and she didn’t want to imagine what might happen to the girl’s world if she fell for this boy, as Leanne already suspected she was, and then he was taken from her. No one deserved to lose so much. And especially not her sweet Ariel.

Leanne had waited for Ariel by the car that night, texting her to let her know that she was ready to go, a shower and her warm bed the only things she was worried about right now. She had been halfway through a text to Ethan when she heard the young girl’s voice echoing through the small parking garage, a laugh filling the otherwise quiet space shortly after. Ariel appeared from around the corner then, Ethan walking beside her, his bag slung over his shoulder, a small smile on his face at something the girl had said to him. They stopped in front of her, both smiling softly as she gave them a once over.

“I guess I’m taking you both home huh?” She offered them a small smile as she crossed her arms over her chest.

“You don’t have too.” Ethan’s voice was soft and she couldn’t help the shiver that went through her body. She had missed him. Even though it had only been a little over twelve hours, she still missed him.

“It’s fine.” She turned around and unlocked the car, watching as he made his way to the passenger side, Ariel climbing in the backseat with a huff. She wondered sometimes if having the girl hanging around the hospital was a good thing, especially after knowing that it had lead her to meet the sick young boy she was with earlier.

They drove to her place in silence, both Ethan and Ariel’s eyes having fallen shut as their heads rested against the backs of their seats. She watched them when they stopped at a stop light just outside her neighborhood and she felt something in her heart flutter. It had been so long since she had cared about someone as much as she cared about them. When they finally made it to the house she had exited the vehicle quietly, watching as Ethan and Ariel did the same, following her up the sidewalk without a word. They had all headed upstairs in a straight line, her and Ethan verging off to the left, Ariel down the hall to the right. 

Ethan had shut the door behind them quietly, his fingers flipping the lock without a word. Then he was dropping his bag to the floor his hands moving to pull his Angels t-shirt over his head as he eyed her hungrily. He had reached for her then, something Leanne had been surprised to see him do, and when his lips hit hers she felt a wave of excitement flood through her. He had backed her against the wall closest to the bathroom, his tongue running along her lips as he undid the buttons on her blouse, pushing it to the floor with a soft moan. She had barely had time to undo his belt before he was shoving his cargo pants down, his fingers undoing the snap on her pants and pushing them down only seconds later. 

She felt his fingers run along her spine, tracing along the clasp on her bra before undoing it one-handed. And then his lips left hers and she let out a whimper as he trailed kisses down her neck and shoulders. She pushed his boxers down just as his hands had made their way under her panties, tracing along her core as he nipped at the juncture of her neck and shoulder. She let out a gasp as he pushed her underwear to the floor, her legs shaking as she stepped out of them. 

“Sorry for earlier.” He whispered against her neck, his hands settling under her bottom in order to lift her up.

“S’okay.” She mumbled, her head falling back against the wall as he lined them up, sliding into her with ease. She wrapped her arms around his neck tightly, pulling him as close as possible, her lips searching for his once more in the darkness of the bedroom.

“Should’ve stayed home.” His voice was soft and almost broken as he moved his lips over hers and she felt him tighten his grip around her waist as he picked up the pace.

“Would’ve gotten called in anyway.” She whispered, her hands going to tangle in his hair as she tugged him forward, their foreheads pressing together as he slammed into her.

“Fuckin’ sucks.” He croaked out, his lips crashing against hers again as he picked up the pace. She could already feel herself tightening around him, her fingers curling and uncurling against his neck as she moaned into the kiss.

“Yeah.” Was all she was capable of getting out because the next thing she knew he had a hand between them, his fingers stroking over her core as he thrust into her a few more times, and then she felt herself go over the edge. 

“Damn.” He muttered against her lips a minute later, his skin sweaty yet cool under her fingers. She couldn’t find the words so she simply nodded her head at him, a small smile forming on her lips when she noticed his goofy grin.

“Shower?” Her voice was so quiet that she barely heard it herself, but when he nodded his head before slowly pulling from within her, she knew that he must have heard her. He kept his arms around her until she had both feet planted firmly on the floor and he offered her a soft smile as she took his hand, dragging him toward the bathroom, the idea of the warm spray from the shower combined with his hands on her body sending her mind into overdrive.


	16. Questions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ariel has some questions about her pending relationship with Max. **spoilers for 3x04**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***Even though I’ve written out at least three more chapters in this series this will probably be the last chapter I post since it seems that no one is reading. I’ll probably continue to write (because it’s what I do) but I won’t be posting them unless there’s some sudden interest in this story. Thanks to those who stuck around for so long, sorry I couldn’t do better.**

Ethan had emerged from the shower before Leanne, his legs still shaking from their second go-round in the shower, and he had pulled on his boxers and a clean t-shirt before collapsing into the bed with a groan. To say that he was exhausted would’ve been understatement. Not only had he had a busy day physically, but he was mentally and emotionally over it as well. All he wanted to do was curl up with Leanne under the covers and sleep the next week away. His phone buzzing on the nightstand beside him reminded him that he’d never be able to do that though, and he let out a huff before checking his text messages. Rox’s name stared back at him and he swallowed back a lump in his throat. 

_You leave already?_ He wondered why she was all of a sudden so interested in how many hours he worked.

_Yeah. Kid needed to sleep._ And that wasn’t entirely a lie. Ariel needed to get home and get rest. And so did he. 

_You home?_ He figured she would probably just invite herself over if that was the case.

_Nope._ He didn’t really want to tell her where exactly he was though, and he wasn’t sure why.

_Leanne’s?_ She was good, real good.

_Yeah._ He leaned his head back against the headboard when he heard the shower cut off in the other room. He hoped that she wouldn’t text him anymore that night. He really wasn’t looking for a fight with Leanne right now.

And he got his wish, because she didn’t say anything more and he let out a soft sigh. He heard a knock on the bedroom door then and he got ready to tell Ariel to come in when he remembered that he had locked the door before ravaging Leanne against the wall earlier. 

“Hang on kid.” He groaned as he dragged himself out of the bed, his tired legs carrying him the few spaces toward the door, his fingers turning the lock gently as he twisted the handle and pulled the door open. The girl standing on the other side wasn’t his normal, cheery Ariel though, and he raised an eyebrow as he leaned against the doorframe, his eyes giving her a once over as he tried to peg what was different about her.

“Can we talk?” She whispered, her arms moving to wrap around herself as she fought off what he thought might have been a sniffle.

“Of course.” His reply was soft, but he didn’t want to scare her away. If she needed him, he would be there for her, always. “Wanna come in?”

She nodded her head as she moved around him, her eyes searching the room over as she stopped beside him just inside the door. “Where’s Leanne?”

“Getting dressed.” He nodded toward the closed bathroom door, his hands falling to his sides as he moved back to his spot on the bed, his aching body needing the comfort of the soft mattress and cushy pillows. “Come. Sit. Talk.” He gestured toward the bed as she eyed him softly, a misty look taking over her eyes as she sniffled again.

“I don’t really know where to start.” Her voice was soft and Ethan felt his heart clinch in his chest at the thought of his girl hurting somehow. He never wanted to see her broken again, ever, and he swore that he would do everything in his power to make sure it never happened.

“Wanna wait for Leanne?” He asked softly, watching as she moved to climb onto the bed in front of him. She nodded her head then, her sweatshirt covered arm moving up to wipe at the tears in her eyes. He reached out then, his arms beckoning for her to come to her. And she did. Just like a small child she crawled forward, her arms going to wrap around his neck as he pulled her to sit sideways in his lap. He felt her let out a quiet sob against his neck and he wrapped his arms around her as tight as he could manage, his lips pressing a kissing against the side of her head.

They sat there for a few minutes, his ears doing their best to listen out for sounds of Leanne emerging from the bathroom. He heard the door knob turn and he felt Ariel lift her head from his shoulder as she did her best to wipe her tears from her eyes once more. He felt her sniffle again as Leanne emerged from the small bathroom, her eyes instantly settling on them, a soft sigh escaping her lips at the sight. 

“Oh honey.” She moved quickly then, her flannel covered legs carrying her to the bed with little to no effort, and she plopped down next to them as she reached out for Ariel. 

Ethan watched as the young girl moved from her spot in his lap to sit in the place between them, her arms going around Leanne’s neck as she let out another sob. He reached out and ran a hand down her back, his heart tightening in his chest at the sight before him. He had absolutely no clue what had caused her to lose it like this, but he wanted nothing more than to make it stop.

“Shhh, it’s okay.” Leanne’s soothing voice was probably doing more to calm him than it was the girl, but he was thankful for it nonetheless.

“What’s going on sweetheart? What happened?” Ethan knew his voice was quiet and judging by the look on Leanne’s face, his questions probably weren’t helping any.

“Max…” She took a deep breath, pulling back from Leanne with a soft sigh, her arm going up to once again wipe the tears from her eyes. “He…”

“Who’s Max?” He turned his attention toward Leanne then, his eyebrows raising as he begged silently for her to fill him in. Shaking her head back and forth Leanne simply dropped her gaze back down to the teen between them and Ethan felt something inside him ache. _Was his girl talking about a boy? She was too young for boys. He totally wasn’t ready for this one._ “Angel, who’s Max?”

“Ethan, please…” Leanne’s pleading tone told him that he should stop it, but then Ariel was looking at him with misty eyes and he couldn’t help but reach out, his fingers running along her cheek gently as he tried to soothe her.

“He’s a friend.” Ariel whispered, her soft sniffles filling the otherwise quiet room as he took a few minutes to let that sink in. _So Max was a friend?_

“Ariel met him at the hospital.” Leanne’s voice was soft this time, her eyes gentle as she ran a hand up and down the girl’s back. 

“Does he work there?” He didn’t know why he all of sudden felt that he needed to know everything there was to know about this young man, but something deep inside told him he needed to cover his bases, especially when his little girl was involved.

“He’s a patient.” The teen’s voice was soft, so soft that he almost didn’t hear it, and then the familiar ache was back in his heart. He knew this was going to end badly for Ariel. And in turn, for him and Leanne too.

“What kind of patient?” Leanne was shaking her head back and forth across from him, her eyes silently pleading for him to stop.

“He has cancer.” Ariel said quietly, her eyes shifting upward to catch his. He could see the pain and fear in her eyes, the curiosity and anger close behind.

“Oh.” He didn’t know what else to say so instead he just reached his arms out, pulling the girl against his chest once more. She let out another soft sob as she wrapped her arms around him, her head nestling against his shoulder as she sniffled. 

He lifted his eyes to Leanne’s then and he saw every emotion he was feeling being reflected back at him. She knew this was going to go badly, she knew this was going to end in heartbreak, and yet, here she was, acting like it wasn’t that big of a deal. He wished sometimes that he could be as hardened and emotionless as she could sometimes make herself. Instead, he felt everything, every emotion, every ounce of pain and fear, especially when it came to Ariel.

“I caught them sneaking ice-cream together earlier.” Leanne’s voice was soft as she offered him a soft smile. “Ice-cream from the kitchen freezer…”

“Oops.” He whispered against the girl’s blonde locks, a small smile forming on his voice. He had shared the location of the secret stash of ice-cream with the girl a few months ago and Leanne had been livid with him for it. Well, he guessed, that maybe Campbell was more livid about it than Leanne, he just knew better than to try and handle it himself.

“He said it’s one of the few things he still likes to eat.” Ariel pulled back from him then, a small smile forming on her tired face as she wiped at her eyes with the back of her hands. “I figured Campbell wouldn’t mind…”

“What Will doesn’t know, won’t hurt him.” Ethan said softly, his hand reaching up to brush some of the girl’s wayward locks back. “We can always blame it on Elliot.”

Ariel let out a soft chuckle then, her eyes lighting up a little as she moved to settle between them. She leaned back against the pillows, her head going backward so that she could stare at the ceiling. He watched her with tired eyes, his arm going to wrap around her shoulders as he tucked her against his side. He watched as Leanne settled against her other side, her head going to rest against hers on the pillow. He couldn’t help the small smile that came over his face at the image. 

“How sick is he?” Ariel’s question threw them both for a loop and Ethan swallowed back a lump in his throat. He should have known these types of questions would follow. Ariel was a smart kid, wise beyond her years when it came to certain things, and she was curious about everything. He was scared about what other kinds of questions she may start asking them.

“I don’t know sweetie.” Leanne’s voice was soft as she reached out to brush her fingers along the girl’s cheek, her smile fading as she struggled to keep it together. 

“What kind of cancer does he have?” Ethan wondered if the girl had thought to ask, or if the boy had thought to tell her. 

“I don’t know.” She whispered, her eyes shifting toward him as she wrapped her arms around herself with a soft sniffle. “He didn’t say.”

Ethan simply nodded his head then, leaning down to drop a kiss against her head as he shifted his gaze to the woman on her other side. He wondered if Leanne had done what he would’ve done and gone and looked up the boy’s file after finding the young couple together. Judging by the worry in her eyes, she hadn’t made it that far.

“Is he going to die?” The question that left the girl’s mouth sent a wave of panic through Ethan’s body and he remembered being nine years old and asking a doctor that same question, his mother’s tired and broken body laying on the hospital bed in front of him. He had held little Jack’s hand for almost four hours that night, promising him that everything would be okay, that Mama would get better. But Mama had never gotten better, and Jack had never been the same. In truth, neither had he.

“I don’t know angel.” He whispered, his eyes filling with tears as he dropped his head to hers, his arm tightening around her shoulders. Not only were his memories plaguing him, but the thought of his girl having to suffer through that pain, yet again, was tearing him apart.

“I don’t want him to die.” Ariel whispered into the stillness, her body relaxing against his as she let out a soft sob. He felt Leanne wrap her arms around her from the other side and when he opened his eyes she had settled herself against the teen’s side, hugging her close as she pressed kisses to her head.

“I know baby.” He barely heard his words, but he sure felt them. He didn’t want her to face the death of somebody that she cared about anymore than he wanted this young kid to lose his life to such a horrible cause. 

“Can I sleep in here tonight?” She mumbled around a soft yawn, her eyes blinking rapidly as she tried hard to keep them open. “I don’t want to be alone.”

“Of course honey.” Leanne’s voice was shaky, but she snuggled the girl closer nonetheless. Ethan watched as she let out a soft sigh when the girl closed her eyes, her body relaxing against the pillows as she let sleep consume her.

“I can leave.” He whispered after a few minutes, his eyes shifting to Leanne’s. “You girls should be together.”

“We are together.” She whispered back, her eyes locking with his as she reached out with her free hand, trailing her fingers along his stubble covered cheek. “We’d rather be together with you though.”

“Okay.” He knew his reply was nowhere close to satisfactory, but she smiled back at him softly so he went with it. He sat up a little then, reaching down to grab the blanket from the foot of the bed and pulling it over the three of them with a soft sigh. He smiled when Leanne’s eyes closed softly, her body relaxing back against the pillows next to Ariel. He didn’t know how he had gotten so lucky to have such amazing women in his life. But he did know that he was a fool for thinking that he should ever walk away from them. “Goodnight girls.” He whispered into the darkness, his body relaxing back against the pillows as he finally closed his eyes, the silence of the room lulling him to sleep.


	17. Done Fighting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leanne and Ethan have a fight. It isn’t pretty by any means.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *I loved the interaction between Ethan and Leanne during 3x04 and their closeness during their scenes with Danica’s family were almost perfect. **However, this is the start of the beginning of the end.**

Leanne watched with gentle eyes as Ethan handled Danica outside, her ears straining to hear what he was saying to the young girl. She had also watched as he had tried to talk to the teen’s family, his eyes doing their best to contain his emotions behind them. She knew that he was trying hard, and that he was failing horribly. She could tell. The way his body shook with anger, the way his eyes darkened as he watched the young girl try to stand up to her step-father. She knew something inside him was about to break. She knew he was about to lose all control. So she stepped in. In hindsight, maybe she shouldn’t have interfered, maybe then they wouldn’t have been having the fight they were currently in the midst of. In hindsight, maybe she should’ve just stayed home that day.

“I don’t wanna talk Leanne!” Ethan’s voice was loud and harsh and unlike anything she had ever heard.

“Ethan please…” She had followed him after he left Danica’s family, his long legs carrying him to the roof as he slammed doors behind him and scared nurses in front of him. She didn’t understand his anger. She didn’t understand his pain. But she wanted too. She just wished that he would let her in.

“Go away!” He turned to face her then, his eyes dark and haunted, his hands shaking as he reached them in front of him, doing his best to keep her back.

“Ethan.” She whispered, her feet moving her forward despite his warning to stay back. “Let me help.”

“I said go away!” His whole body was shaking, his eyes darkening with every second.

“I don’t get it Ethan.” She knew she should leave. She knew she should walk away. But she couldn’t help it. She just wanted to be with him. She just wanted to make him feel better. “What’s wrong?”

He let out a strangled sound then, something akin to a sob, and Leanne felt something deep down inside her break. She couldn’t believe he was hurting like this. That he was falling apart like this and that she couldn’t do anything to help. She watched as he backed his way toward the concrete barrier of the roof, his eyes filling up with tears as his head fell downward. 

“Please Leanne.” She barely heard his pleas, but they were breaking her heart nonetheless. “Just go.”

She took a few steps forward, her movements slow and shaky as she made her way toward him. She stopped with only a few feet between them and reached out for him once more, her hand making contact with his arm as she tried to lock her eyes with his.

“Ethan…” His head shook back and forth with her words and she felt her heart break, she couldn’t stand seeing him like this. Whatever had hit him, whatever wound had opened up inside him, it was officially taking over, and it was breaking him. 

“Please.” He pleaded, his tear filled eyes finally locking with hers as he leaned back against the railing, his hands stilling by his sides as he tried to catch his breath. “I don’t…” He took a deep breath, his eyes closing as he clenched his fists by his sides. “I don’t want you to see me like this.”

“Well it’s a little late for that now isn’t it?” She tried to keep her voice soft and slightly humorous, hoping that she could draw him back to her.

“Just go.” He whispered, his eyes opening as he silently begged her to walk away.

“I want to help Ethan.” She took a few more steps forward, closing the distance between them, her hands reaching down to take his. “Just talk to me.”

He shook his head back and forth once more and she squeezed his hands gently before letting them go. She brought them up to cup his face then, her eyes locking with his as she tried her best to calm him down. She watched as he closed them tightly once more, avoiding her at all costs. But when he tried to pull away from her she didn’t give in. Instead she tightened her grip on his face, holding him in place as she offered him a soft hush.

“I…” His voice was raspy and she could see a fresh round of tears falling from his eyes. She thought that he was going to open up to her, that he was going to finally let her in. But then he was pulling from her, and then pushing her away, and he took a few steps back from her before he let out a frustrated growl. “I just want to be alone!”

“For God’s sake Ethan, what the hell is wrong with you?” She was getting angry now and she felt what little sympathy she had in her disappearing with every second that he spent yelling at her.

“It’s none of your goddamn business!” His words were like a dagger to her heart. She thought they had gotten over this. She thought that they were on their way upward, that they were finally making things work. After last night, after they both comforted Ariel, together, she thought that things were finally going to work out for them.

“I’m your girlfriend aren’t I?” She screamed her question at him as he started to pace and she wanted to slap him. “That makes it my business!”

“Bullshit!” He yelled back, his feet stopping him a few feet from her as his hands went into the air. “That’s bullshit!”

“What is? The ‘it being my business’ part?” She swallowed as she fought back her own tears. “Or the ‘girlfriend’ part?”

“The whole thing!” She watched as his face changed as he instantly regretted the words that had just left his mouth. His arms fell to his side then, his feet moving him toward her as she let out a soft sob. “Lea… I’m sorry… I…”

“Save it Ethan!” He let out a sigh as he stopped just in front of her and she knew that he had just crossed a line that neither one of them could take back. “Save it.”

“I didn’t mean it like that.” He whispered, his hand reaching out to take a hold of hers. She pulled away from him this time, her body shaking as she felt another sob hit her. “Lea…”

“Don’t!” She put her arms out in front of her then, warding him off just as he had done to her a few minutes prior.

“This is why I didn’t want you up here.” He whispered, his eyes filling with tears as he stepped toward her once more. “I knew this would happen.”

“I’m gonna go.” She whispered back, her arms reaching up to wrap around herself as she eyed him through her tears. “I’ll leave you be. I’m sorry.”

She started making her way toward the stairs when she felt his hands on her arms, stopping her in her place. He turned her around gently, his hands never leaving her, and when she dropped her head he leaned forward, his nose bumping against hers, trying to get her attention. She let out a sigh, her arms relaxing against her sides as she sniffled. He pressed a kiss against her cheek, and then another against her chin, his hands rubbing up and down her arms gently as he offered her soft hushes.

“Lea…” He whispered, his forehead falling to rest against hers as he moved his hands down to her hips. “I’m sorry.”

“No Ethan.” She moved her hands up to rest against his chest, a sigh leaving her lips as she did her best to keep him at arm’s length. “You can’t sweet talk your way out of this.”

“Leanne…” He practically growled out her name and she felt something deep inside her clench at the sound. She loved the way her name sounded on his lips, the way he said it with such love and depth, even when he was mad at her.

Pushing herself out of his grasp she took a few steps back, her hands going to run through her hair as she let out another sigh. She couldn’t do this. She couldn’t let him draw her back in. Not like this. Not after that kind of fight. She had just been trying to help him, to offer him some comfort, and he had pushed her away, like she was some kind of burden to him. She wouldn’t let him treat her like this. She wasn’t an object that he could just throw around.

“You can’t talk to me like that Ethan and then expect one kiss to just magically make it better.” She growled back. “I’m your girlfriend, not your side piece.”

“I didn’t mean it like that Lea.” He reached for her once more, his hands trembling as they neared her, but she stepped back, putting more distance between them. “Come on, Lea, please.”

“No!” She shouted back, her hands going out in front of her. “You can’t keep doing this to me! We can’t keep doing this to each other! It’s not fair!”

She watched as he took a deep breath, his eyes blinking rapidly as he tried to fight off another round of tears. She could tell he was struggling to keep it together, that he was slowly losing it once more. She hated that she was the cause of some of that pain, but she couldn’t keep doing this. She deserved better.

“So what? Are we breaking up?” His hands went to his hips then, and then they fell to his sides, and she could see the anger boiling behind his gray eyes.

“I don’t know Ethan.” She whispered back. And she truly didn’t know. She didn’t want to lose him. She had worked so hard to get him. But she couldn’t stand the way he was treating her. “Maybe it’s for the best.”

“No Leanne, it’s not.” She excepted him to scream at her, to lose his cool, to flip out, but he didn’t. Instead his words were soft and calm and she felt her heart break even more at the thought that he was taking this so seriously. “We worked so hard to get here…”

She let out a sigh because that’s exactly what she had been thinking. “Maybe…” She took a deep breath because the words she was about to say were going to break both of their hearts and she wasn’t prepared for that. “Maybe we need to take a break. Put a little space between us?”

“But I don’t wanna put space between us!” His words were sharp and she could practically feel the emotion in them. She knew he was getting close to losing it, and it probably wouldn’t end well for either one of them if he did. “I don’t want space. I want us, together. That’s what makes sense. You and me, together, it’s the only thing that makes sense.”

“Ethan…” She let out another sigh, her body giving in to the drama of the day. She was beyond exhausted and she just wanted to go home and sleep. “Please…”

“Leanne…” He was begging now, his eyes pleading with her for her to not walk away from him. “Please don’t do this. I don’t wanna lose you. I…” He choked back a sob then, his eyes filling with tears as he spoke. “I don’t wanna lose Ariel.”

And then she saw him fall apart, right in front of her, and she choked back a sob of her own. She knew that losing her would be hard, that he cared about her despite his indiscretions. But she didn’t understand why he thought that she would ever take Ariel away from him. She wouldn’t dream of doing such a thing. Not in a million years. She knew that that girl was his life line. That he needed her almost as much as he needed the air around him. Much more so than he needed her.

“You won’t lose Ariel.” She whispered, taking a step forward, her hand reaching out to rest against his arm. “I would never take her from you.”

“Leanne…” He looked up at her with soft eyes, his tears falling down his face as he tried to gather himself. “Please don’t do this. Please don’t leave me.”

“I’m not leaving you Ethan.” She silently tried to will him to understand just how much she meant those words. She wasn’t leaving him, not for good, not forever. She just needed some time, some space to breath. She needed to get herself together and she needed him to do the same. She needed to know that he really wanted this, that he really cared about her, and that this wasn’t just a fling for him. “We just need some time.”

“I don’t want time!” He screamed, his arms waving in front of him as he sobbed. She took a few steps back then, her eyes giving him a once over as she tried to wrap her head around what had just happened. She didn’t understand how this evening had turned into this, how things had gotten so out of control.

“Ethan…” She whispered his name, partly because she was scared of him, partly because she wasn’t able to make her voice go any higher. “I’m sorry.”

She started to walk away from him again and part of her hoped that he would come after her. That he would chase her down and pull her into his arms and confess his love for her. But that moment never came. Instead, she had made it all the way to the stairwell before she chanced a look back at him, and what she saw before her broke her heart. He had stayed put in his spot, but his head had fallen downward and his hands were covering his face. She could see his body shaking as he sobbed and it took every thing she had in her not to run to him. Taking a deep breath she turned back toward the door, her shaking hand struggling to turn the handle, her eyes filling with tears as she walked away from him. Her heart shattering in her chest at the sound of her own sobs echoing through the quiet stairwell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *I’m not 100% sold on this chapter but I did what I could :/ I hope you guys liked it despite the fighting! And no worries, there’s plenty more to come!


	18. Escape

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ariel needs an escape, and frankly, so does Ethan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *I had originally planned something else for this chapter, but this is what I got instead. So the Ethan/Ariel chapter that gets all emotional will be next!

Ethan had been beyond devastated as he watched Leanne walk away from him on the roof earlier that evening, and he had felt his heart break in two when she had turned around to look at him, only to continue out the door and down the stairs. He couldn’t believe that this was happening, that he had finally lost her. He had worked so hard to get her in his arms, to make her his, he didn’t understand how this had all gone to shit so fast. 

He had stayed on the roof for a few minutes, sobbing silently to himself as he prayed for her to come back. But she never did. And as the sun continued to set behind him he continued to feel his heart break. After an hour or so he had given up on her returning and he had moved to descend the stairs himself. He had been halfway down when his phone had dinged in his pocket and he took a deep breath before pulling the object out, he hoped above all else that he saw Leanne’s name on the screen, and no one else’s. Instead, it had been Ariel’s name that stared back at him and he felt his heart start racing at the thought of the teen. He had no idea how he was going to handle telling her about his fight with Leanne.

_Can I come over?_ Stared up at him and it was like a dagger to his heart. He didn’t know what was causing the teen to run away from Leanne, but he had a feeling that it was his fault.

_I’m not home._ Which was true, he wasn’t home. In fact, he was far from it. Instead, he was standing in the stairwell at Angels Memorial Hospital crying like a baby.

_Are you still at Angels?_ He took a deep breath, pondering whether or not he should tell the girl the truth. It’s not that he didn’t want to spend time with her, in fact, she was the only person he could probably handle being around right now. But he didn’t know if she should see him like this, if she deserved to have to handle this mess of a man he had become.

_Yeah._ Short and sweet and he hoped that she was already at Leanne’s and ready for bed and that he wouldn’t be able to steal her away. Part of him just wanted to go home and drink himself into oblivion.

_I’m downstairs. Can you take me home?_ He let out a breath at the thought. He couldn’t handle seeing Leanne right now, he didn’t know what he would do if she showed up at the door when he dropped the girl off. 

_Ariel… not now._ He knew he was going to break the girl’s heart, that she wouldn’t have asked if she didn’t need him, but he just didn’t know how to do this. He didn’t know how to be the strong, responsible parent. Not when he was hurting so much. Not when the other parent had been the one to break him.

_Please Ethan. Leanne’s on a tear and I just want to sleep._ He knew he was responsible for that tear and he knew that everyone at Angels was probably cursing him right now, whether they knew he was personally responsible for it or not. _Can I please stay with you tonight? Please?_ He could practically hear the pleading in her voice and he felt something deep down inside him ache. He knew he couldn’t leave her hanging, that she needed him. And if he was being honest with himself, he kind of needed her too.

_Give me a minute to get my stuff._ He was afraid of going downstairs and venturing into the locker room, but he had no choice, he wasn’t going to get very far without his keys and wallet. _You’re gonna have to ride the bike…_

_Thank god!_ He couldn’t help the small smile that came over his face at the girl’s words. He knew that she had been dying to get on that thing, that she would relish in the fact that she got to rebel against Leanne once more. To be honest, part of him was relishing in the fact that he got to rebel against Leanne as well.

He slid his phone back into his pocket with a sigh and continued his way downstairs, his hands shaking as he grabbed the doorknob for the ground level. He took a deep breath as he crossed the threshold, his eyes searching out for any sign of Leanne, but there was none. He hurriedly made his way to the locker room, grabbing his items and practically sprinting out the door. He had been five feet from the main doors, five feet from escaping, his teenage daughter within sight, when he saw her. 

She was leaned over a patient chart at the nurse’s desk, her glasses doing little to cover her tear stained cheeks and blood shot eyes. He felt his heart stop beating, his legs forgetting how to move, the air in his lungs quickly leaving his body. He prayed that she wouldn’t turn, but then Jesse had called his name and she had whipped her head up and around, and that had been it. Their eyes had locked and he swallowed when he saw a fresh round of tears start to form behind her brown orbs. They both stood frozen for a minute, neither of them breathing normally as the whole world stopped around them.

And then someone was shouting her name and Ariel was calling his from the other side of the glass and he snapped himself out of his daze, his eyes breaking from hers as he turned to face the girl. He offered her a soft smile, his legs finally remembering how to move as they carried him away from Center Stage and toward the fresh air. When he turned back a minute later though, safely on the other side of the doors, she was still rooted to her spot, her eyes having followed his movements out the door, tears streaming down her cheeks as she watched the teen envelop him in a hug. And he felt his heart shatter into a thousand pieces.

—

He and Ariel had made it home in record time and while he admitted to himself that he had been speeding, he had hoped that the teen wouldn’t notice. She had hopped from her spot on the back of the bike and planted her feet on the ground before he had even had a chance to turn the thing off. After removing the key from the ignition he had followed the teen up the small path, his heart still racing at having seen Leanne earlier. He still wasn’t over this whole thing. In fact, he figured he probably never would be.

Ariel had retreated to the bathroom almost as soon as they had made it through the door and while he wanted nothing more than to shower and sleep, he respected the teen and let her have first dips, his legs carrying him into the kitchen in search of a beer. He had found one in the door to the fridge, and while he was pretty certain that Mario had left it there, he didn’t really give a damn at the current moment. He had popped the top off and downed half it before he had even made it back to his room, his body aching as he plopped back on the bed.

He must have dozed off because the next thing he knew Ariel was standing over him, her blonde hair hanging loosely over her shoulders as she poked him gently with one finger. Raising an eyebrow at the girl he let out a chuckle when she mumbled something about making sure he was alive before leaving the room. He heard her settle down on the couch in the den, the TV turning on as she let out a soft sigh.

“Homework?” He called out, his eyes falling closed once more as he thought about how nice it would feel to just sleep all weekend.

“Tomorrow’s Saturday!” She called back and he could only imagine that she was probably rolling her eyes at him.

“Homework!” He felt like a broken record with her. Albeit, he guessed this was part of having a teenager.

“Fiiiine…” She dragged out and he heard the TV cut off as she moved through the small room, most likely looking for the last place she had dropped her book bag.

“Thank you!” He shouted back, his eyes snapping open when he heard his phone ding from somewhere in the house. He couldn’t remember where he had left it and it pained him to think about getting up to find it.

“It’s Leanne…” Ariel’s voice was quiet and hesitant and when he lifted his head he saw that she was standing in the doorway to his room, his phone in her hand as she eyed him softly.

“Fuck.” He muttered, his head flopping back against the pillow as he let out a huff. She was the last person that he wanted to talk to right now. The absolute last.

“I can answer it if you want.” And boy did he want… but he knew that he couldn’t have his daughter fighting his battles for him. No, rather, he would have to man up and handle it himself.

“It’s fine.” He sat up then, a groan escaping his lips as he craned his neck from side to side. He grabbed the beer bottle off the end table and downed the rest of it before extending his hand out for the phone. “I got it.”

She let out a soft sigh as she shook her head, her sad eyes falling to the floor as she pushed herself off the doorframe, heading back in the direction of the den. He let out a sigh as he looked down at his phone, Leanne’s name staring back up at him. It dinged again, her name flashing up at him once more, and he felt his heart twist in his chest.

_Is Ariel with you?_ Was all the fist text message said and he wondered briefly if the girl had forgotten to mention that part to the older woman. _Please Ethan, just tell me she’s safe._ Her second text confirmed that for him and he felt a hint of anger toward the teen for scaring her mother like that. She had to know that Leanne would worry about her whereabouts. She had to know that she would go crazy looking for her.

_Yeah Lea. She’s here with me._ He let out a sob at the use of her nickname. He figured he probably had no right to use that for her anymore.

_Thank you._ Was all her response said and he felt like he had been stabbed in the heart. Granted, he deserved her crassness, her shortness, and everything in between, but he didn’t want it.

_You’re welcome._ He typed back, his eyes filling with tears as he thought of everything else he wanted to say to her right then and there. But he couldn’t bring himself to do it. He couldn’t bring himself to be the strong one right now. _I’ll bring her home tomorrow._

_Okay._ And that was all she said to him. In fact, that was all she said to him for several days, and if he had known then that that would be the last communication between them, he would’ve tried harder to make it last.


	19. Warrior

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ariel has some questions about Ethan’s bad mood. In hindsight, she wonders if she should have even asked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *I’m going to guess that they were hinting at Ethan’s past with all of this drama over Danica and her family, especially his interactions with Leanne. I was originally going to have him have this chat with Leanne, but I feel like he’s much closer with Ariel now. That and I needed some good Daddy!Ethan after all of the drama!
> 
> *Also, I don’t even know if anyone is still reading this, but here’s an update just in case :/

Ariel had done her best to listen in on whatever Ethan was doing in the bedroom, her mind reeling at the thought of him and Leanne talking to each other. She knew that they must have had a fight, that something had to have gone wrong between when Leanne followed him to the roof, and when she returned, alone, and crying, almost an hour later. She had wanted to ask, but then Leanne was yelling at her about sitting around and doing nothing. About how she was there to work, not to twiddle her thumbs, and she had stumbled out of her chair and after Mario, trying to make herself look useful before Leanne lost it even more.

It had all gone down hill from there. The older woman had barked at just about everyone that crossed her path after that, her voice hollow and loud and scary beyond recognition. Even Jesse had seemed afraid of her at one point, and Jesse wasn’t afraid of anyone, especially not Leanne. When she had ducked into the break room for some relief she had been surprised to find most of the others there as well. Although, it seemed, that they all had the same goal, to stay as far away from Leanne Rorish as possible. She had tried to sneak away then, hoping to find some solace in Max, but Leanne had stopped her as she had entered the elevator, telling her in no uncertain terms that she was not to ‘go see that boy on the seventh floor’. She had done her best to hold back her tears, but she had failed as soon as she was alone in the bathroom. 

She had been thankful beyond words when Ethan had come to her rescue and she was glad that she had somewhere to turn when she needed some space from her foster mom. It’s not that she didn’t love Leanne, because she did, more than anything. And she was incredibly thankful that the older woman had taken her in, given her a home after she had lost everything, and then some. No, she loved Leanne, almost as if she were her own mother, but sometimes, well sometimes she needed some space from her. She had guessed by Ethan’s attitude that he sometimes needed that space as well.

And while she didn’t want to interfere on something that wasn’t her business, and boy was Ethan and Leanne’s relationship none of her business, she was curious as to what had happened in the last twelve hours that had driven a wedge between them. A wedge that seemed to also be driving them both to their breaking points individually. As if on cue, she heard Ethan let out a huff from the bathroom, a cabinet door slamming as he muttered something under his breath.

“Ethan…” She called out softly, her head popping up over the back of the couch to eye him curiously. “You okay?”

He muttered something back before letting out a sigh, his hands falling to rest on the counter, his head falling downward. She watched him as he took a deep breath, his eyes closing as he pushed himself away from the counter, flipping the light switch off as he moved to the hallway. He lifted his head then, his eyes meeting with hers, and she offered him a soft smile when she noticed how broken he looked.

“Wanna talk?” She knew that he would likely say ‘no’, that he would ultimately pull the ‘I’m the parent, you’re the child’ line that Leanne always used on her, but she figured it was worth a shot.

“Don’t know what there is to talk about kid.” He whispered, his legs carrying him toward the couch as he took another deep breath.

“I heard what you said to Danica earlier.” She whispered after he had deposited himself on the couch next to her. She turned her attention back to her history homework, her eyes misting over as she thought about what he had said to the other teen. “About being a warrior…”

“Yeah.” He said softly, his head falling back against the cushion as he turned his eyes toward her. She could feel his gaze on her, his breath evening out as he relaxed a little.

“What was that about?” She asked quietly, her hands folding in her lap on top of her textbook.

“Long story.” His voice was quiet and when she looked back toward him he had his eyes closed, his head turned back away from her.

“It was about her step-dad right?” She was nervous to ask the question. Nervous for the answer she would receive, for the way he might handle something so touchy. “He wasn’t very nice to her was he?”

“No kid.” His tone was sad and she heard him let out a sigh. “He wasn’t.”

She nodded her head then, her eyes shifting back down to the book in her lap. The words stared up at her, something about the Roman Empire and wars and chariots and Gods and Goddesses. She wondered if kids back then had to live with things like abusive parents and orphanages and road rage. She guessed that maybe they had their own issues in those days. Perhaps she had it better off in some ways than they did. Perhaps she didn’t.

“You seemed to know just what to say.” She whispered, her eyes closing as she remembered his words about being a warrior and staying strong and standing up for your siblings. She had an aching feeling in her chest that he knew a little too much about those things.

“She needed to hear them.” He whispered back. “Wish someone had told me those things when I was her age.” She had barely heard the last sentence, but once it registered she felt like the wind had been knocked out of her. 

“Your father?” She closed her eyes tight at her words, her hands gripping each other so tightly that it hurt. “He wasn’t very nice was he?”

Ethan didn’t respond and she chanced a look at him, her eyes filling with tears when she noticed how he had started to cry. There were tears streaming down his face and she didn’t hesitate to move to his side, her homework being tossed onto the table with a soft huff. She curled herself against his side, her arms wrapping around him as she rested her head on his shoulder. They sat there for a few minutes, him sobbing softly as she did her best to soothe him. She certainly never imagined a time when she would be providing comfort to her parent, especially when that parent was Ethan.

“I’ve never really talked about it before.” His quiet voice broke through the otherwise silent room, his arm moving to wrap around her shoulders as he relaxed back against the couch.

“You don’t have too.” And she meant it. She would never force him to talk about it, especially not with her. She figured that Leanne was much more qualified to have this conversation with him, or at least Noa or Mario, but certainly not her.

“It’s okay kid.” He turned to eye her softly, his tear filled eyes full of respect and love. She knew that while she was the least qualified person, she was also probably the only one he trusted enough.

“Did he hurt you?” She held her breath, she would die if he had ever been physically hurt by his father. She couldn’t fathom such a thing. 

“Not physically.” He whispered back, his head turning so that he could rest it against hers. “He never hit me or Jack, though I have a feeling he wanted too sometimes.”

She nodded her head at his words. She was thankful to know that none of his scars were caused by the older Willis man. At one time she had wanted to admire him, for raising such a good son, but now, now she wished she could let him have a piece of her mind.

“I’m sorry Ethan.” She whispered, snuggling herself closer as she closed her eyes.

“It’s okay kid.” He dropped a kiss to her head as he spoke, and the next words out of his mouth made her do a double take. “You know I’m not like that right? I’d never hurt you, or Leanne. I’d never lay a hand on either one of you.”

She let out a sob at the pain in his words. She wondered how many relationships he had kept himself from enjoying for fear of turning into his father. She wondered if Leanne knew just how much he was keeping things in, just how much pain he was in. She bet that if she did, she wouldn’t have been pushing him away like this.

“I know Ethan.” She whispered back, her arms tightening around him as she placed a kiss on his cheek before letting her head fall back to his chest. She knew that he would never hurt her, in any way, that she would always be safe with him. She never doubted that, never in a million years.

“I love you kid.” His voice was soft and she barely heard it, but it was there, and it broke her heart. “More than anything in this world.”

“I love you too.” She didn’t think there was any consolation in her words, but she hoped that they would at least help him feel a little better. 

The pair stayed that way for a while, his arm around her shoulders, his head resting on hers, and Ariel was silently thankful that she had retreated to Ethan’s that night. She heard his phone buzzing from it’s space on the end table and she waited for him to answer, but when she lifted her head upward, she noticed that his eyes were closed. And judging by his soft breathing, he had fallen asleep. She let out a sigh as she reached out for his phone. She rolled her eyes when she saw Rox’s name on the screen. 

She hadn’t officially been introduced to the woman, but she knew that she had been the cause of many arguments between Ethan and Leanne over the past few months. She knew that she had no right to hate some woman that she’d never met, but she did. She hated her for pulling Ethan out into the field. She hated her for causing Leanne to be jealous. She hated that Ethan was even acting toward her in a way that would lead to Leanne being jealous. She got ready to toss the phone back onto the table when it buzzed once more. Letting out a growl she decided to answer it, not having the heart to wake Ethan if she could help it.

“Hello?” She growled out.

“Ethan?” The voice on the other end was full of confusion and Ariel couldn’t help but let out a soft chuckle.

“Do I sound like Ethan?” She asked sarcastically, her body falling back against the cushions once more.

“No.” Ariel wanted to ask her why she had asked such a stupid question then. “Who is this?”

“His daughter.” She barked back. It’s not that Rox had really done anything wrong, but she was annoying her nonetheless.

“Ethan doesn’t have a daughter…” Ariel rolled her eyes as she let a sigh.

“Gee thanks.” She cast her eyes toward Ethan. She thought he was pretty adamant to people about their relationship, that he stopped denying that he knew her at every chance he got.

“Wait…” Rox’s voice changed and she let out a soft laugh. “Ariel?”

“Yeah…” She huffed out her response, kicking her barefoot against the underside of the table gently as she waited for this conversation to develop a point.

“Sorry.” The other woman said softly. “I should’ve known.”

“Right.” She rolled her eyes before locking them on a space on the ceiling above her. She wished that Ethan would wake up and get her out of this mess.

“Is your father around?” So now she was his daughter? She rolled her eyes again and as she let out a yawn.

“He’s asleep.” She whispered, her gaze returning to the man next to her. His head had fallen to one side, a small spot of drool falling down his chin. She couldn’t help the smile that came over her lips at the image of the older man.

“Can you wake him?” Ariel wanted to yell at her that there was no way that she was waking the sleeping man. That she was thankful that he was finally resting. But she knew that being rude wouldn’t sit well with Ethan if he ever found out.

“I’d prefer not too.” She said softly. “He’s had a rough night.”

“Okay.” Rox’s response was not what she expected and she wondered just exactly what kind of relationship Ethan had developed with the other woman.

“I’ll tell him you called.” She wasn’t entirely sure if she would actually do that or not, but it sounded good in theory.

“Thank you.” And then the line was dead and Ariel was left sitting in silence in the small room. 

She let her eyes wander back to the man at the end of the couch and she let out a soft sigh when he let out a whimper. She couldn’t imagine what was plaguing his dreams right now, but it broke her heart knowing that she probably couldn’t help him through this one. She knew that the only person he needed right now was Leanne, and she hated that the older woman wasn’t there to help comfort him. She was determined that whether it was her business or not, that she was going to get to the bottom of whatever had happened between them. And she was sure as fuck going to get them back together.


	20. Losing Him

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leanne didn’t really want to know why Ariel looked so sullen on a Saturday night. And she certainly didn’t want to know why Ethan’s laugh was filling the otherwise empty parking lot of the hospital.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *So this is it. The end has begun, and here starts the downward spiral. I apologize you guys, but I’m doing my best to stick to canon. I promise the Ethan/Leanne/Ariel storyline will continue! And there is ultimately a happy ending in sight (even if that’s not how the show ends).

Leanne had been slightly thankful when Ariel had chosen to spend the night with Ethan. She had also been slightly envious that he would get the teen’s sympathy and not her. But after the way Ethan had acted earlier, the way he had cried and seemed so broken, she guessed that he maybe needed the girl more than she did that night.

After finally fleeing Angels, her eyes still aching from all the tears she had shed, she had driven home in silence. She had entered the silent house with a soft sigh, another round of tears hitting her when she realized just how alone she felt. She wished more than anything that Ethan and Ariel had been there waiting for her. Their laughs filling the house as they cooked dinner together, a mess of epic proportions covering her counters. 

She had retreated upstairs to her bedroom after containing her sobs and she had taken a much longer than necessary shower to try and wash away her woes. She climbed in bed after pulling on one of Ethan’s shirts and some underwear and she had wished over and over again that he would come strolling through the door like he had many a night in the past few months. But he never came. And when she awoke a few hours later the house was still dark and quiet, and she was still alone.

She must have dozed off again because the next thing she knew she was waking up to sunlight filtering in through her bedroom windows. She could hear the birds outside chirping away and she was envious of their ability to feel so happy when all she could feel was pain. Sighing deeply, she pulled herself into a sitting position, hugging her knees to her chest as she closed her eyes tightly. She couldn’t believe that this was her life now. Alone again in her silent and empty house. The only people that mattered gone without her.

She heard a car pull into the driveway and she quietly made her way out of the bed, her legs stopping her at the top of the stairs when she recognized Ethan’s Jeep in the drive. She watched as Ariel leaned in through the window and pressed a kiss against his cheek, smiling at him as she made her way up the sidewalk. She choked back a sob as Ethan waved goodbye to her, his eyes hidden behind his sunglasses, his Dodgers cap pulled low on his head. 

Ariel let herself into the house then, her feet stopping her in the doorway when she spotted Leanne at the top of the stairs. She turned back toward Ethan, but the man had already backed out the driveway and was heading away from the house. Letting out a sigh she made her way inside, closing the door quietly behind her.

“Morning honey.” Leanne whispered, her eyes giving the teen a once over. She looked well rested, and she was in different clothes than yesterday, so she guessed that she had had an okay night at Ethan’s. 

“Morning.” The teen’s voice was quiet and she could hear the way she was hesitant to speak to her. Leanne figured that she probably deserved that. Especially if Ethan had filled her in on what had happened between them yesterday.

“You and Ethan have a good night?” She asked her question softly, watching as Ariel made her way up the stairs. She stopped halfway up though, her eyes snapping up to meet hers as she let out a sigh.

“No.” She whispered, her hands going to the pockets of her jeans. “Not really.”

“Everything okay?” She was curious to know what could have possibly happened between the two that caused them to not be okay all of a sudden. They rarely fought with each other, and it was never for very long at that. Leanne hoped that she hadn’t caused any tension between them with her actions.

“Not really.” Ariel shrugged her shoulders as she continued up the stairs. Leanne stepped aside in order to allow her to cross into the hallway, and she could see the way the girl’s eyes were tear stained and heavy.

“Do you wanna talk?” She really hoped that the girl would open up to her, that she would start to trust her as much as she seemed to trust Ethan.

Ariel didn’t respond, instead she headed toward her room, dropping her book bag just inside the door before grabbing her sweatpants off the dresser. She retreated into the bathroom then, the door shutting forcefully behind her, and Leanne let out a sigh. She hated that the girl shut her out like this. 

Leanne returned to her room after she heard the girl’s shower cut on, and she crawled back into bed. She wasn’t ready to start her day, especially after being greeted that way, and after seeing Ethan looking as haggard as he did. She leaned her head back against the headboard and contemplated texting the man when she heard the bathroom door open, Ariel appearing in the hallway dressed in her pajamas. Leanne guessed that she must have gotten very little sleep last night.

“Did you know?” Ariel’s question was soft and Leanne did a double take at the girl’s words. She didn’t know what the girl was referring to, but she guessed that she didn’t know whatever it was Ariel thought she should.

“Know what sweetie?” She watched as Ariel’s shoulders slumped downward, her legs moving slowly as she walked into the bedroom. She sat down on the bed, facing her, and brought her knees up and against her chest, her arms wrapping around them as she let out a sniffle.

“About Ethan’s dad?” Her eyes filled with tears at the words and Leanne wracked her brain trying to figure out if she knew anything about Ethan’s dad. She knew his name was Jack. That his brother had been named for him. That he had been in the Navy way back when. That he lived back East and had a summer home on some island she couldn’t remember the name of. But that was the extent of her knowledge about the older Willis man. Ethan didn’t talk about him much, in fact, what she knew about him she seemed to have learned on accident. Either a slip up on Ethan’s part or some snippet of information that Noa had shared with her.

“I know very little about the man Ariel.” She said softly. She watched as Ariel reached up to wipe her tears away. “What happened? Is everything okay?” She feared that maybe the man had passed. Or that maybe he was sick. And while she knew that he and Ethan weren’t close by any means, she couldn’t imagine what that might be doing to the younger man.

Ariel swallowed before taking a deep breath, and she eyed Leanne softly. “What Ethan said to Danica earlier... about being a warrior...”

Leanne waited for the girl to continue, but instead she let out a soft sob, another round of tears hitting her eyes as she tried to keep herself together.

“What about it honey?” She asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

“Ethan knew just what to say...” Leanne nodded her head, she had thought it kind of odd how he seemed to know how to break through to the younger girl. She had found his comment about being a warrior heart-warming. “Because he was her... when he was little...”

Leanne’s eyes misted over when the teen’s words hit her. She had no idea that Ethan had been through all of that. Although, in hindsight, it made perfect sense.

“He told you that?” She whispered, her heart racing in her chest when Ariel nodded her head at her question.

“He...” She swallowed, her eyes closing as she tried to gather her thoughts. “He said that he never hit them.” She reopened her eyes and locked them with Leanne’s. “But he was real mean to them.”

She couldn’t form words. She couldn’t even form thoughts. She felt horrible, like the worst person alive. She had yelled at him. She had pushed him away and treated him like dirt and basically broken up with him. All when he needed her the most. She let out a sob as she felt her heart shatter in her chest.

Ariel moved forward then, her arms wrapping around her as she pulled her close. She returned the gesture, tucking the teen against her chest as she dropped a kiss to her head. She knew that the teen had probably been the strong one last night. That she had probably comforted Ethan much like she was comforting her now, and it broke her heart.

“I... I didn’t know.” She whispered against Ariel’s blonde locks, her arms hugging the girl tightly. “I promise you that I didn’t know.”

Ariel nodded her head against her chest and she figured that was the teen’s way of letting her know that she understood. She hoped that Ariel didn’t blame her, that she didn’t hold her responsible for Ethan’s pain, at least not all of it. She couldn’t live with herself if the teen hated her. Losing Ethan was bad enough, she didn’t know what she would do if she lost Ariel too.

—

The pair had stayed in bed for most of the morning, having snuggled down under the covers and fallen asleep not long after their tearful conversation about Ethan’s father. When Leanne had woken up at a little after two in the afternoon, Ariel was already downstairs, her homework spread out across the table in front of her. 

They had eaten a late lunch quietly, both still emotionally drained from the past 24 hours. Leanne had gone about her plans for the day, cleaning the house and working on laundry, as the teen poured over her textbooks. They had skipped dinner, instead choosing to eat ice cream on the back deck while they watched a storm move in over the city. But then Leanne’s phone had rung a little after 7:00pm and Ariel had let out a sigh when she recognized Campbell’s voice on the other end.

Leanne had dropped a kiss to the teen’s head, promising her that she would hurry home, before grabbing her bag and heading for the car. She had said a silent prayer that Ethan hadn’t been called in too and that he would swoop in and save the teen, keeping her from having to spend another Saturday night alone. When she arrived at Angels a few minutes later, she noticed his bike parked toward the front of the lot, and she let out a sigh. 

She had worked through the crisis quickly, her hands moving on their own accord, her mind still back at home with the heartbroken teen. She had caught Ethan’s eyes briefly from across Center Stage at one point and she felt her heart skip a beat when he broke the look without so much as a nod. She knew that she had screwed up, that she had pushed him too far, and she regretted it more than she had ever regretted anything else.

Campbell had finally told her to get lost a little after one in the morning and she had quickly retreated outside, her legs carrying her to the parking lot without a second thought. She noticed that Ethan’s bike was gone and she wondered when he had been lucky enough to escape the confines of the hospital. She let out a sigh as she stopped in her spot, the sound of an all too familiar laugh filling the air.

It was Ethan’s laugh, and it was loud and full and she felt a pang in her chest. She used to be the only one lucky enough to receive that laugh from him. She closed her eyes as she listened to the foreign sound, her stomach filling with butterflies as she remembered how that sound had filled her house only a few short days ago. Ariel had been telling him some story about Mario and he had busted out in a full belly laugh, wishing over and over again how he would have liked to have seen the scene she was describing. She wondered if she would ever hear that sound directed at her again. If it would ever fill her big house again.

“I can’t believe you actually did that.” That voice. The voice she hated more than anything in this world right now. Rox. And it was coming from the same direction as Ethan’s laugh.

“Kid you not.” And then there was the voice that she had fallen in love with. That had whispered sweet nothings in her ear only 48 hours ago as he had made love to her, their daughter asleep down the hall, the sun rising outside the open windows. She felt like her whole world had just been turned upside down.

“And Dr. Campbell didn’t kill you?” Rox let out a laugh and Leanne could barely make out her eyes twinkling in the dim light of the field beside the small lot.

“Oh he wanted to.” Ethan’s voice was soft and humorous and she could tell that they were stationary, probably seated on one of the benches in the grassy area. She and Ethan had hidden out on those benches many a late night and even more early mornings, even before they had gotten together, long before Ariel had entered their lives. She was envious that he would share their secret hide out with this new chick. She didn’t deserve to be a part of this secret world of theirs.

“I bet.” She heard the other woman move and she could make out her body as she stood from her spot. 

“Where ya going?” Ethan asked softly. Leanne watched as he reached a hand out, tugging her back toward him. She stopped between his open legs and Leanne wanted to run away.

“Home.” She bowed her head before pulling away from him once more, making her way into the parking lot as he followed quickly. “It’s late.”

“Not that late...” Leanne could make out Ethan’s soft smile from where she stood behind the concrete barrier to the small lot. 

“Don’t you have a kid at home?” She shouldn’t be allowed to ask questions about Ariel. The girl was none of her concern. And neither was Ethan’s relationship with her.

“She’s with Leanne.” He dragged out. “I’m a free man tonight...”

Leanne wondered what hidden meaning there was to his words, but then he was stepping forward, his hands moving to her hips and she felt her breath catch in her chest, her heart aching at the sight before her. She couldn’t believe that he was doing this. That he was throwing them away, for her, for this woman.

“So... you and Leanne?” Rox’s question was so quiet that she barely heard it, but there was no mistaking the hope in her voice.

“We’re... over.” Leanne felt the tears hit her eyes and she threw a hand over her mouth to keep herself from gasping out loud. The last thing she needed was them knowing she had been eavesdropping on them. “She ended things.”

“Okay.” Was all Rox said in response and Leanne watched as she pulled from Ethan gently, her hand taking his as she started walking toward her truck. Ethan smiled softly as he followed her, no hesitation in his step, no worry in his gait. And Leanne felt her knees give way, her body turning to fall against the wall as she let out a silent sob. 

She knew that this was her fault. That she had pushed him to this point. That she had shoved him away and hadn’t given him a chance to fight for her. But she didn’t think that he would fall into another woman’s arms this easily. She wiped at her tears with her hand, another sob leaving her lips when she heard another laugh escape Ethan, the sound of the truck tearing off through the parking lot a few seconds later. She had always wondered what true, unadulterated heart break felt like before. She wished she could take it all back now that she knew just how devastating it was.


	21. Kiss and Tell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ethan didn’t kiss and tell, although, sometimes, he wanted to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *This chapter turned out much more Pro-Rox than I anticipated, and while I hate it, I also love it. And I couldn’t help myself for putting this out there.  
> **P.S. Please don’t kill me! I promise there is a point to all this madness!

After leaving Angels, Rox had driven for a good twenty minutes before stopping at a pull off down by the beach. Ethan was reminded of the place that he had taken Leanne not to long ago. Where they used to go with Ariel on the weekends last summer. After the outbreak, before school had started up again. Back when things had been simpler, when Leanne had still loved him. His heart started racing in his chest. He didn’t know if he was making the right choice here. If he was doing what was best.

Sure, he liked Rox. She was funny and sweet and she brought out a side of him that he hadn’t seen in a while. A wild, young, imaginative side of him. Something he had long ago locked away. Losing Jack had broken his spirit three years ago. It had destroyed that sense of freedom he had once had. But now, now he felt like it was being reborn. Like Rox was pulling something out of him that he had buried when that coffin had been lowered into the ground.

“So you and Leanne are officially broken up?” Rox’s words were unexpected and he choked on the air he was breathing when he processed her words.

“Yeah.” He took a deep breath. He couldn’t believe he was saying those words. That it was really over. He cared about Leanne more than anything, but he couldn’t handle her pushing him away anymore. He couldn’t handle being shut out. He wanted a relationship that was real and two sided. He didn’t want to be alone in this. “I’m done. She’s done. It’s over.”

“So, you’re a free man?” He watched as Rox tilted her head in his direction, her eyes shining under the bright moonlight. He would never deny that she was a gorgeous woman, but right now, well right now his broken heart thought there was something about her that was breathtaking.

“Isn’t that what done means?” He asked softly, his eyes connecting with hers across the cab of the truck. He knew he should run. He knew he should get out of the vehicle and flag down a cab and go home to his family. But then he remembered what Leanne had said to him, how she had pushed him away, and he realized that he didn’t have a family to go home too anymore.

“So...?” Rox’s voice was soft as she relaxed back against the drivers seat, her eyes never leaving his.

“Sooo...?” He did the same as her, his body finally succumbing to the exhaustion it felt after the last 48 hours.

“What does that mean for us?” He barely heard her question, but he shuttered nonetheless. He didn’t know what this meant for them, for whatever it was that they were doing. 

“It means... something.” He whispered, his eyes breaking from hers as he looked out the front window of the truck. He could see the waves crashing against the shore, the moon casting a creepy glow across the abandoned beach in front of them. “I’m not entirely sure what though.”

“Well I can tell you what I want it to mean.” Her hand was on his arm then and she was scooting herself closer to him. He wanted to scoot away, to put more space between them, but the only way for him to do that would be to leave the vehicle, and he thought that might be considered rude.

“I’m sure you can. But...” He didn’t want her to get the wrong idea about him. He wasn’t looking for a hookup, even though that idea sounded great right about now.

“Oh come on Ethan.” She whispered, her body now pressed against his side. He let out a deep breath, his hands shaking as he stilled them against his knees. 

“No. No.” He shook his head as he spoke, his eyes turning to eye her cautiously. “That’s not what this is about.”

“Rebound sex?” _So apparently she had different plans than he did._ “That isn’t what this is?”

“No.” He whispered. He swallowed then, a low growl threatening to spill from the back of his throat when she ran a hand over his chest. 

“And why not?” Her question was soft, but she pulled from him when he shot a warning glare in her direction. There wasn’t a single part of him that thought she was stupid, so why she was trying to play dumb he didn’t understand.

“Because I’m not that kind of guy.” And that part was true. He wasn’t that kind of guy. Although there certainly were days where he wished he was. _Right now, being one of them._

“Riiiight...” He could hear the sarcasm dripping off her lips and when she turned her body to face his, her legs crossing Indian style as she leaned back against the dash, her hair falling over her shoulder and making her look like some kind of ethereal goddess, he almost threw all his cautions out the window.

“I’m not. I don’t sleep around.” He whispered his response and he prayed that she believed him. That she didn’t think that was his game. Although, in hindsight, that was probably exactly what she wanted. “That was my brother’s gig, not mine.”

“So then what are we doing here?” Her question was soft, the flirtatious tone gone as she eyed him softly.

“You said you wanted to get to know me. That your intrigued.” And that was true. She told him that he was drawing her in. He had hesitated to tell her that he felt the same a few weeks ago when she had told him that. “Well, I feel the same way about you. I want to get to know you.” And that part was also true. He wanted to get to know her, and he wanted to know more than just her body. Despite what his hormones were telling him right now. “But that doesn’t mean I’m crawling into bed with you tonight.”

“And why the hell not?” She almost sounded offended and he felt bad. It’s not that he didn’t want to have sex with her, but that just wasn’t who he was. And he would be damned if she was going to be the person who broke him of that habit. “I make a wonderful bedtime companion.”

“I’m sure you do.” He didn’t doubt that, not for a second. Especially with the way her eyes were twinkling in the darkness of the cab, her hand moving up and down his leg like it belonged there. “But I haven’t even been broken up a full 48 hours yet. Can we at least let some of the dust settle before we go swapping fluids?”

“Well when you put it like that...” He hadn’t meant to sound so crude, but it was what it was.

“I’m serious Rox. I like you.” He couldn’t help but smile when her face seemed to light at his words. He wondered how long she had been waiting for him to say that to her. For him to confirm what she had probably known since they first met in the ambulance bay five months ago. “You’re funny and you’re interesting and you bring something out of me that I had forgotten existed. I don’t wanna lose my chance to get to know that, to get to know you.”

“Buuuut... I sense a giant but.” She let out a breath when he chuckled softly, she knew him so much better than she thought she did, so much better than he wanted to admit too.

“I have a daughter. I have to be careful.” And that was the truest thing he could ever say to this woman. Ariel came first. 200% of the time. And that would never change. “I can’t just go jumping into bed with the first woman who makes me smile that isn’t her mother.”

“So this is about Ariel? Not us?” There was no anger in her words like he expected. Rather, she was calm and her words were gentle. He knew that she had some sort of curiosity when it came to the teen. And while he didn’t quite understand her fascination, he was willing to bet that she wouldn’t try to come between them. She had to know that he would bolt if she did.

“It’s about protecting us, all of us.” And if he was being honest, that also included Leanne. “Especially Ariel. She’s number one. She has to be. No matter what.”

“I won’t argue with that.” Her hand stopped on his thigh and he let out a sigh. She was getting braver and he was letting her. This needed to stop.

“Than you have to know that everything I do, I do for her.” And the last thing he wanted was to let another woman come between them. He knew that breaking up with Leanne was going to devastate the teen, no matter how hard she tried to hide it. But this, well this could very well send her over the edge. And as much as he wanted this, as much as he needed this, he wasn’t going to risk his relationship with his daughter for it. Not after everything they had been through. “If this bothers her, if this interferes with her or her wellbeing, I’m out. I won’t let anything come between us.”

“I wouldn’t dare.” And there was a truth in her eyes that told him that she was telling the truth.

“So you’re in?” He prayed to God that she said ‘no’. That she told him that it was too much work, that he was too much work. But another part of him prayed to that same God that she would say ‘yes’. That she would say that she needed him as much as he needed her. 

“I’m in.” She smiled then, her eyes lighting up as she moved her hand from his thigh to his chest, and he choked back a strangled noise in the back of his throat.

“Good.” He smiled back.

“One thing though...” He was nervous what that one thing could mean. _They had been off to such a good start._

“What?” He asked hesitantly, his eyes locking with hers as he pulled his hands up from their spot in his lap. He wanted to touch her, as wrong as it was, but he just couldn’t get his body and his mind to cooperate.

“What about Leanne?” And there was the question he most definitely didn’t want to answer.

“What about her?” He was sure that Leanne wouldn’t be a problem. She wasn’t the jealous ex-girlfriend type. Sure she might push him away even more, she might even shut him out completely, but she wasn’t going to go around slashing anyone’s tires and ruining anyone’s reputation. No, she was much better than that.

“Does she know about us?” He didn’t know what ‘us’ she was referring to. They weren’t a couple yet, hell, he hadn’t even taken her on a date, or kissed her. _What ‘us’ was there for her to worry about?_ “I mean, I’ve seen the dirty looks she throws my way.”

“She doesn’t know. And she doesn’t have to know.” He was certain that Leanne knew that he fancied Rox in some way, after all, it wouldn’t have caused so many problems between them if she hadn’t. But she didn’t need to know that they were dating, and if it came down to it, that they were sleeping together.

“You don’t think Ariel will tell her?” He hoped that the girl wasn’t that stupid. 

“If Ariel does, she can deal with the aftermath.” And that part was true. Ariel wanted to stick her neck out there and share such information with Leanne, than she could handle what might come next. “I’m not telling her because it’s not her business.”

“But Ariel is her business. What happens if I happen to be around her? What if we do something together and she finds out that we lied to her?” _Well she just had to go and bring up that part didn’t she?_ He really didn’t want Leanne involved in this. She had made it pretty clear that he wasn’t her concern anymore. He could understand her wanting to know what happened to Ariel, and he wouldn’t lie to her when it came to the girl, but he most certainly wasn’t going to go broadcasting his relationship to her. “My parents were divorced, I remember what that felt like. Every new boyfriend or girlfriend meant I got caught in the middle. I won’t risk having her maternal instincts come out on me.”

“Than for now, you and Ariel don’t need to know each other.” He hated being one of those fathers. His father had been one of those fathers. He and Jack hadn’t known about Christine until they were making plans to walk down the aisle. He remembered being mad that he hadn’t been given the chance to get to know his future step-mother first. _Not that he had any plans of making Rox Ariel’s step-mother._

“You think that’s safe?” Apparently she understood that concern as well.

“Until Ariel is okay with it, and until Leanne understands that she can’t control my life, it’s what we have to do.” And he wasn’t going to risk having Ariel throw a toddler sized tantrum on them either. He knew how she could get when she didn’t get her way. When things didn’t go right. He hated that it was like that, but he figured after everything the kid had been through that she was allowed a little melt down every now and then.

“You know, there’s a lot of drama involved with dating you.” She winked at him, a twinkle in her eye as she ran her hand up her chest, settling it against his cheek. “Why should I put myself through all of this?”

“I promise you it’s worth it?” He smiled at her, a real smile, probably the first real smile he had smiled all night, and he felt something in his heart overreact. 

“Is that so?” She was pulling herself closer to him then, and he was almost certain she was going to crawl her way into his lap if he let her.

“Yes ma’am.” There was a tiny part of him that wished that she would.

“How about you show me how worth it it will be?” And there she was, her hands moving to his shoulders as she moved to straddle his hips. The front seat of her truck was most certainly not where he expected this to happen, but alas, he was at a loss to stop her. 

“I don’t kiss and tell.” He whispered, his hands moving to settle against her hips as she eyed him through the darkness. Their faces were a lot closer than he expected them to be and he took a deep breath at the thought of what was inevitably going to happen next.

“Then we don’t tell anyone.” She whispered back, and the next thing he knew her hands were in his hair and her lips were on his and he was gone, down the rabbit hole, off into the abyss. And his phone flashing Leanne’s name on the dashboard was the last thing he was worried about right now.


	22. Walking Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leanne was an idiot for letting Ethan go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *These past two episodes have given me a lot of inspiration for another story arc, so here’s the first chapter! I struggled with bits and pieces, but I hope I got it together enough for you guys!  
> *Again, I apologize for the angst. I promise there’s an endgame that isn’t horrible.

Leanne had struggled to keep herself together after having brought Ruby and her mom back to Angels. And then, after saving both of their lives, her entire body went into overdrive, especially her heart. She had remembered glancing up at one point and seeing Ariel watching her as she tried to save Ruby’s life, and all she could think about was what would have happened to her if it had been Ariel on that table. She couldn’t bare the thought of losing another child, not after everything they had been through together. 

Her mind had gone back to listening to Ariel try to talk Ruby through everything on the plane. Through saving her mother’s life. And she had broken down in tears after she had made sure that both mother and daughter were okay. And that’s where she found herself now, sitting on the ground outside the parking garage door, her head in her hands as she let her tears fall freely.

“Lea…” She heard Ethan’s voice before she saw him and she felt her heart clench in her chest at the sound of it. She had missed his voice, and while he had remained rather professional at work, there was something special about hearing him saying her name, instead of barking medical terms at her.

“Hey.” She chanced a look up at him, her brown eyes connecting with his gray as he slid down the wall next to her. She heard him let out a groan and that was when she was reminded of how horrible of a day he had just had too. When Diego had told them what happened, when she had gotten wind that he had spent the entire day with a gun to his head, she had almost lost it.

“You okay?” He whispered his question, his shoulder bumping hers as he crossed his arms over his knees, bringing his legs up to his chest as his head fall back against the cool cement wall.

“Rough day.” She whispered back. She dared to let her head fall to his shoulder and when he didn’t shove her off she let out a soft sigh. She had missed him these past three weeks. And while she knew that she was entirely at fault for their separation, she hated that he had left without a fight.

“Tell me about it.” His head fell to rest against hers and he let out a contended sigh as well. She wondered if he missed her company as much as she missed hers. “Jesse told me about Ariel. About how amazing she was today.”

Leanne let out a soft chuckle at his words. Amazing was an understatement when it came to how Ariel had handled everything. She was a rockstar and Leanne had never been more proud in her entire life.

“She was beyond amazing.” She said softly, her eyes closing as she felt her body relax some. Her arm bumped his a little and when he didn’t flinch away she felt her heart rate speed up. “You should’ve seen her Ethan, she was so brave.”

“Gets that from her mother.” He whispered softly, his elbow bumping hers. She opened her eyes then, turning her attention to him as she offered him a smile. He was smiling back at her and she felt tears start to prick her eyes once more. _She had been a complete idiot to let this man go._

“Well, her father’s pretty brave too if I do say so myself.” She whispered back, winking at him before dropping her head back to his shoulder. “Not many men would’ve done what you did out there today.”

“Didn’t have a choice.” His voice was rough and scratchy and she could tell that he was fighting off getting angry and falling asleep on her. “Guy was gonna kill Rox if I didn’t act fast.”

“But he didn’t.” She hoped that her voice was hopeful instead of full of regret. She would never wish the other woman dead, not in a million years, because that just wasn’t like her. But she sure as hell wished that she would go back to where ever it was that she came from.

“But he could’ve.” She could hear the fear in his voice, the emotion behind his words, and she knew that he was officially gone. That she had officially lost him to her. She felt her heart start to break into little tiny pieces at the thought. _Why was she so fucking stupid?_

“You two are…?” She didn’t want to ask the question, because she didn’t want to know the answer, but she had to know. She had to know for certain if he was really with the other woman, or if he was still waiting for her to get her head on straight. She honestly wouldn’t be surprised by either at this point.

“Together.” He whispered, his head lifting back up off of hers as he let out a sigh. She knew that he probably wasn’t planning on telling her about their relationship so soon. If it had been her, she would’ve waited more than two weeks before jumping into bed with someone else. She guessed though that that must have been the difference between men and women.

“It was only a matter of time.” She whispered, her eyes filling with another round of tears. Her heart continued breaking in her chest with every second that they sat there pretending to be friends. 

“You pushed me away Leanne.” His voice was soft and full of longing and it didn’t sound at all like the voice of the man who had screamed at her three weeks ago on the roof. “I couldn’t keep doing that.”

“In all fairness Ethan, you shut me out too.” She knew that he would lash out at her for that comment. She knew that it was always her fault in his eyes.

“I was trying Lea.” But once again, he surprised her. “I really was.” She heard him choke back a strangled sob, his eyes closing as his head fell back against the wall a few times. “It just got to be too much.”

“But Rox?” She didn’t know why she wanted to know about his relationship with the other woman so bad.

“She’s different.” His voice was barely above a whisper and when she pulled her head from his shoulder to look at him she could see the soft smile on his face. The way he seemed to relax at the mention of her name. He had used to relax like that whenever she came around, she used to be the only thing that could calm that storm. “She doesn’t push. She just lets it… happen…”

Leanne couldn’t speak. She couldn’t get her mouth to move to say the words that she wanted to say. So instead she leaned her head back against the wall and swallowed, her tears falling faster as she thought about what that meant. She wondered if he really had jumped into bed with her immediately. It had taken them almost a year of dancing around each other before they had sex, she had a hard time believing that he would throw away all of his principles for this woman.

“I’m sorry Lea.” He whispered, his head turning toward her. “We’re friends. That doesn’t change.”

She simply nodded her head at his words. _Friends? Right. Like that would last._

“We have a kid together.” She wondered how Ariel would handle all of this. She would probably have much better control of her emotions than she currently did. “We work together. It’s inevitable that we’re gonna have to deal with each other.”

“I could quit.” She didn’t know where those words came from, because she would never in a million years leave her job because of a man. But she felt like she had to say something profound. Something that would get under his skin and rattle his cage. She never could just ‘let it be’ with him.

“Bullshit.” He spat back, his legs moving to stretch out in front of him as he let out a huff. “You’re not going anywhere.”

She nodded her head once more. She knew she wasn’t being serious. However, she wished that he didn’t know that.

“What about Ariel?” She asked the question that mattered most with a fresh round of tears in her eyes. She knew that this would destroy her. That them not being together, with no hope of a future together, would kill her.

“She comes first.” He said softly, his hand reaching out to pat her arm. “That doesn’t change.”

“Does she know that?” She could hear the anger dripping from her words and she wanted to slap herself.

“Yes Leanne. She does.” He was serious, she could tell it, but she didn’t believe him.

“What if something happens to you?” The question came out of nowhere and she watched as he let out a huff, his legs pushing him into a standing position. She guessed that he was probably going to run away from her then. She wouldn’t be surprised, that was how he handled everything these days.

“Nothing’s going to happen to me Leanne.” His voice was still soft, but she could see him getting agitated, the way his hands shook and his eyes got dark. She hated that look on him. It was certainly not his most attractive face.

“You don’t know that Ethan!” She heard her voice rise before she even knew what was happening and when he stopped his pacing to snap around to glare at her she knew she had struck a nerve. “You could’ve gotten shot today! You could’ve died! You’re out there risking your life and for what?”

“Rox has my back.” He sighed, his hands going to run through his hair. “She won’t let anything happen to me.”

“Do you even care what happens to you anymore?” She shouted, her legs lifting her into a standing position in front of him, her eyes growing dark as her whole body trembled with anger. “Do you even care if you live or die?”

“I’m doing my job Leanne! What more do you want from me?” He was yelling now, and she was sure that anyone who walked anywhere close to them would be able to hear everything they said. She was really starting to hate how nosy people around here were.

“You know I’m going to have to explain this to Ariel tonight right?” She felt yet another round of tears form in her eyes and she hated herself for being so emotional. “She’s going to ask questions. She’s going to wonder why you seem to love your job more than her. More than us.”

“Oh come on Leanne! For fuck’s sake!” His arms were waving around in front of him as he took a step backward. She wondered if he was putting the distance between them for her safety or his. “You know that’s not true! And you know that Ariel doesn’t think that!”

“She’s been having nightmares Ethan.” She choked back a sob in her throat. As much as she loved the teen, she was really tired of her crawling into bed with her in the middle of the night because she was awoken by yet another nightmare. She had told her the first few times that they were about Ethan, sometimes her, sometimes both, but they all ended with one or both of them dying, leaving her an orphan once again. She had tried to soothe her woes, but she had failed, and she had found that now it was just best to let her snuggle up to her and cry it out. “Ever since you left. She… she has nightmares about you dying. About us leaving her.” She brought her hand to her mouth then, trying to control herself as the words burned in the back of her throat. “She thinks she’s going to be orphaned again.”

“That will never happen.” He whispered, taking a step toward her, his hands going out to pull her arms down so that he could look at her. “She knows that.”

“No she doesn’t Ethan!” She screamed this time, a full on, full body, scream. And her hands shoved him away from her with a force she didn’t know she possess. “She thinks we’re going to leave her! Hell, Ethan, you already did!”

And that must have been the straw that broke the camel’s back because the next thing she knew his fist was flying into a nearby trash can, the sound of the hard plastic rattling under his skin. She knew that he would be bleeding when he pulled his hand away. She knew that he would probably have bruised knuckles for a week. But she didn’t care. She just wanted him to feel as broken and angry and pissed off at the world as she did.

“Fuck you Leanne!” He screamed, his eyes filling with tears as he stepped away from the blue object now covered in little spots of his blood. “I didn’t leave her! I left you! Because you’re fucking heartless!” And then he was gone. His long legs carrying him away from her before she could even process what he had said. She felt herself starting to hyperventilate, her body shaking as tears poured from her eyes. She slid back down the wall, her knees going to her chest as she hugged herself tight. 

She didn’t know how long she sat like that, but what seemed like hours later Ariel appeared in front of her, her eyes red with her own tears, her body shaking as well. She guessed that not much time could have passed because then Ethan appeared a few feet behind her. His hand was wrapped in white gauze, his head turned downward, his cheeks stained with tears. She could see him trembling from where she sat and it broke her heart even more.

“I’m staying with Ethan tonight.” Ariel’s voice was barely above a whisper, but she heard it, the words echoing through the quiet garage like they were made of bullets.

“Okay.” She whispered. She wanted to argue. She wanted to ban the teen from ever seeing Ethan again. She wanted to make him suffer just like she was. But she knew that Ariel needed him and that was more important to her than anything in this world.

She heard Ariel let out a soft sigh as she turned away from her, her arm wrapping around Ethan’s waist as he pulled her against his side, their backs turning toward her as they made their way through the parking lot. She felt like she had been betrayed. Like her two best-friends had just walked out on her. 

In all reality though, they just had.


	23. Promises

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ariel could’ve lost Ethan that day in the woods, and she’s never been more scared of anything in her life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *I know that there has been literally NO interaction between Ethan and Ariel this season (which is complete bullshit if you ask me) but it also really annoyed me that there was no mention to Leanne’s reaction to Ethan being in the woods. I mean, I get it, Ethan/Rox is their endgame right now, and that’s fine. But come on, they’re really good friends, that much has been pointed out, and I don’t believe for a second that Leanne wouldn’t have panicked knowing that Ethan almost died, twice, while in that fire. Especially since he was with Rox. Also, it’s only right that Ariel also feels some pain at almost losing him.

Ariel was scared. No, scratch that, she was terrified. Not only had she spent the day with the looming threat of trouble after she performed CPR on David, but then she had gotten wind from Jesse about Ethan being out in that forest fire. She had felt her heart start to seize up in her chest when the head nurse said that they hadn’t heard from him in over eight hours and she had had to hold back her tears so that no one knew just how worried she was.

She had retreated to Leanne’s office a few minutes ago, her shift having ended, and all she wanted to do was to go home and sleep. Better yet, all she wanted to do was be with Ethan, her heart aching at the thought that something had happened to her ‘father’. She had settled herself on the couch, her arms wrapping around her chest as she felt a wave of tears come on when Leanne had strolled through the door, a fresh cup of coffee in her hand, a weary look on her face.

“Ariel?” Her voice was soft as she made her way toward her and Ariel couldn’t help but shake her head as she tried to ward off the tears. “What’s wrong honey?”

“Ethan.” Was all she could get out before the tears started to fall, and she felt rather embarrassed that she was getting so worked up about this in front of Leanne.

She wasn’t stupid, she was very well aware of their break-up, and while she thought it was the stupidest thing in the world, she hated even more than they were both trying to hide it from her. She had seen Leanne in the parking garage three weeks ago. She had seen the way Ethan refused to meet her eyes, the way he shook when he was around her. Ariel had gone home with him that night, wanting to be close to him after hearing about his shenanigans earlier in the day, but neither one of them had talked much. Instead he had ordered take-out and they had watched a Chopped marathon on TV until the early hours of the morning. She had enjoyed just being with him though, and she hadn’t thought about asking him what happened earlier that evening.

That was until she saw him and Leanne at work the following afternoon, the way they glared at each other from across Center Stage, the way the air thickened whenever they came close to each other. She had known then that something had definitely happened. And then she had watched as Ethan had pulled Rox into his arms in the hallway, his head nuzzling her neck as he rubbed his hands up and down her back. He had dropped a kiss to her head as he whispered something to her, and when Ariel had turned away from the sight in front of her, she had seen Leanne dip into the hallway behind her. She knew that she had seen everything, and it was breaking her heart.

“Honey…” Leanne’s voice broke her from her thoughts and she took a deep breath as she tried her best to calm herself down. “He’s okay.”

“But…” She sniffled then, her shirt sleeve wiping at the tears in her eyes.

“No honey.” The older woman’s voice was soft and she could hear the concern in her words, see it in her eyes. Ariel knew that whether she said it or not, she was worried about him too. “They just called. They’re on the chopper headed home. He’s safe.”

She took a deep breath then, her eyes closing as she said a silent prayer that he was okay. “Really?”

“Yes baby.” She leaned in then, gathering her into her arms like she was a small child. “He’s okay.”

Ariel wasn’t sure if Leanne was holding her because she needed the comfort or because the older woman needed the comfort, but either way, she was thankful for the embrace. Wrapping her arms around her shoulders she snuggled closer to her, her eyes filling with tears once more as she thought about how hard this must be on Leanne. Knowing that she was terrified, worried, and scared, but not being able to express that. It had to be hard.

“Is he hurt?” She whispered, pulling back from Leanne to wipe at her eyes once more.

“I don’t think so honey.” Again, her words did little to hide her own fear and Ariel wanted to tell her that it was okay to be scared. That it was okay to fear losing him. But she knew better.

Nodding her head, Ariel leaned in, tugging herself against Leanne’s chest once more, her eyes closing as she tried to control her breathing. They sat that way for a few minutes, holding onto each other, small sniffles escaping their lips as they tried to calm themselves down. 

“I’m scared of losing him.” She choked out, her body trembling as Leanne ran a hand through her hair, doing her best to calm her down.

The older woman got ready to speak when there was a knock on the door and when Ariel looked up she was greeted with a sight that both warmed and broke her heart all the same. Because standing in front of her was Ethan. He was covered in ash and soot and his hair was a wild mess. She could see the tear stains on his cheek, the exhaustion in his eyes, and she let out a choked sob as she scrambled toward him, leaving Leanne alone on the couch.

“Ethan!” She threw her arms around his neck, not really caring much if she hurt him or startled him. She just wanted him in her arms. 

“Hi Angel.” He whispered against her hair, his arms wrapping around her waist tightly as he buried his face against her head. She felt him let out a soft sob and she squeezed him tighter.

“Thank God you’re okay.” She whispered, her hands gripping at his t-shirt as she let her tears fall against his shoulder.

“I promised I would always come back to you didn’t I?” His question was so soft that she barely heard it, but it made her heart flutter nonetheless. She remembered when he made that promise to her, to her and Leanne, that he would always come home to them. That he would never leave them. She wondered sometimes if he had meant it, but then he did things like this and she just knew that he was a man of his word.

Pulling back from him she offered him a soft smile, her hands squeezing his before she turned to face Leanne. “Can I stay with Ethan tonight?”

“Sure sweetie.” She whispered, her tear filled eyes doing little to hide the emotion behind them. Ariel knew that this was hard on her, that watching them together was killing her. She knew that she wanted nothing more than to wrap her arms around both of them.

“Thank you.” She whispered back, her hands going out to grab her backpack from the chair before she linked her arm with Ethan’s.

“You go ahead hun, I gotta talk to Leanne right quick.” She could see the hesitation in his eyes, the fear. And she wondered if something had happened out there that she should know about.

“Okay.” She whispered, her arm pulling from his as she walked a few steps away and stopped. If Ethan cared that she hadn’t actually left, he didn’t say anything.

“I’m glad you’re okay.” She heard Leanne whisper, and she turned her eyes back toward the small office. She caught sight of Leanne standing, her legs carrying her in front of Ethan as she let out a sigh.

“I almost wasn’t.” He whispered back. She felt her heart tighten in her chest once more at his words. She knew that she had almost lost him.

“I’m sorry.” Leanne’s voice was soft, her right hand reaching out to brush Ethan’s runaway hair off of his forehead. She saw his head drop forward, almost begging for her touch, and when Leanne stepped forward, her arms going to wrap around him tightly, she choked back a sob. She hated that they were tearing each other apart. It was obvious how much they loved each other, how much they needed each other, and she didn’t understand why they were denying themselves this happiness.

They stayed that way for a few minutes, her arms around his shoulders, his around her waist. Their breath sounds were soft and Ariel could hear them both sniffling periodically. She wanted nothing more than to go join them, to tuck herself between them and cry. But she knew that they needed this moment, possibly more than they had needed anything in a long time.

“I’m taking some time off work.” He whispered, and Ariel could feel the tension rising.

“Okay.” Leanne’s voice shook with such a simple word, but when she pulled back from him, her hands going to rest against his dirty t-shirt, there was a soft smile on her face.

“My dad’s in town.” He whispered again, and Ariel wanted to get involved. To say that she didn’t want his dad to visit. That she didn’t want the man anywhere near Ethan. But then Leanne was pulling him close once more, her hands on his cheeks this time, and when their foreheads touched Ariel thought for certain they were going to cross a line.

“You can do this Ethan.” Leanne’s encouraging words broke her heart. She knew that he would be able to do it so much better if Leanne was by his side.

“I sure hope so.” He said softly, his hands going to pull her back into his arms. She watched as they hugged tightly once again, Ethan’s lips pressing a soft kiss against her head as he whispered to her. “Thank you. For letting me see her.”

“Always.” And then Leanne was squeezing him tightly before pulling from his arms, her hands running down his chest as she took a step back.

Ethan squeezed her hands before he turned his attention back toward the hallway, his long legs slowly carrying him back toward her. He stopped before her, his eyebrows raising as a small smile formed on his lips.

“It’s not nice to eavesdrop.” He whispered, his arm going to wrap around her shoulders as he lead her down the hallway.

“I didn’t want to intrude.” She couldn’t help the smile that formed on her face knowing that he knew that she was watching the whole exchange. “You two needed that moment.”

“Yes we did kid.” He said softly before pressing a kiss against the top of her head. “Yes we did.”

——

Later that night, after they had stopped for tacos and both gone home and showered, they curled up on the front porch swing, their eyes settling on the still blazing fire in the distance. She could feel his body trembling slightly despite it having been several hours since his adventures in the forest. She dropped her head to his shoulder, his arm going around her as he tucked her against his side with a soft sigh.

“So, you and Rox?” She whispered her question, afraid of what would be the outcome to questioning his new relationship with the woman.

“What about us?” His question wasn’t whispered, but it was still soft, and she felt bad for asking something so personal. Except, she figured she had the right to know who this new woman in her pseudo father’s life was.

“Are you two sleeping together?” She clearly had no boundaries when it came to her curiosity about his relationship with the paramedic.

“No Ariel, we’re not.” He whispered, his head falling back against the swing with a sigh.

“So… are you dating?” She really just wanted to know what to expect from this whole thing. Was she getting another new mother soon? Or was this woman just a blip on Ethan’s radar? Just something to keep him entertained while he waited for Leanne to get her act together?

“It’s complicated sweetie.” She could tell that he was almost irritated with her, but she also knew that he would be honest with her to an extant, and that if she was careful, she could get all of the answers she wanted without pissing him off.

“You and Leanne were complicated once too.” She whispered, her eyes closing as she relaxed against him. She hoped that his relationship with Rox was nothing like his relationship with Leanne. That she was just someone else, that she wasn’t someone he would love.

“I know honey.” He whispered back. “Things just didn’t work out for us.”

“It’s not fair.” She felt tears pricking at her eyes and she did her best to calm herself down before she lost it.

“What’s not fair?” His question was gentle, but she could feel the anxiety in his words, the way he was worried about what she would say next.

“You and Leanne.” A tear escaped her eyes and she closed them shut tight as she prayed the others wouldn’t fall. “It’s like having divorced parents. It sucks.”

“Plenty of kids have divorced parents Angel.” And she knew that was true. She went to public school, she was well aware of just how many different types of families there were out there. She was also well aware of how many of her classmates split their time between households. She honestly never thought she would be one of those kids. “Sadly, it’s the new normal.”

“But my parents aren’t divorced,” She huffed out, “they’re just stupid.”

Ethan let out a soft chuckle as he placed a kiss against her head. “Maybe so love, but things get complicated when you’re in relationships. And sometimes…” She heard him let out a breath, his body shuttering next to her. “Well sometimes you just can’t fix them. At least not overnight.”

“Will you and Leanne ever fix things?” She was hopeful, especially after watching their exchange earlier that evening. “Will you ever get back together?”

“I don’t know kid.” He whispered. “Maybe. Some day.”

“But that’s not a ‘no’.” She couldn’t help the small smile that formed on her face as she looked up at him.

“No Ariel.” He said softly, his arm squeezing around her shoulders. “It’s also not a ‘yes’, so don’t get your hopes up.”

“Too late.” She couldn’t help but chuckle at his words. She knew that they were destined to be together, that he and Leanne just made sense, and she couldn’t stand that they were fighting it so damn much. She was determined that she would work her butt off to get them back together, to get them to realize that they needed each other. And she would do whatever she had too to make it happen.

“We still love you though honey. More than anything in this world.” He dropped a kiss to her head as he let out a soft sigh. “You come first. Before anything else. That isn’t going to change okay?”

She couldn’t form words so she just nodded her head against his shoulder, a small sob escaping her lips. She knew that individually they would put her first, she had always known that, but together, well together all they seemed to do was fight around her, and she hated it.

“The fighting is going to stop babe.” He placed another kiss on her head as he hugged her to his side tightly. “The pulling you in two different directions, it stops. All of it. All three of us need to be one the same page there.”

“No more picking sides?” She whispered her question because she was afraid that he would get mad at her for doing just that. She had always been a “daddy’s girl” per say, and that wasn’t any different when Ethan took over that role in her life. She knew that she tended to flock to him, to pick his side. She wasn’t really sure why she did though, because she loved Leanne just as much as she loved Ethan.

“No more picking sides.” He whispered. “For any of us.”

“What about Rox?” She was nervous that he would get mad that she kept bringing the woman up, but so far, he seemed to be fine with her line of questioning, for which she was very grateful.

“What about her?” His question was soft, his eyes shinning in the early evening light as he looked down at her.

“How is she gonna handle not being your first priority?” Her question came out a little snootier than she had planned, but she was thankful when he just let out a soft chuckle.

“We’ve already talked about that love.” He reached up then, his right finger going to poke her nose gently, something he had started doing to her when he was trying to get through to her. She didn’t know why it worked, but it helped comfort her somehow. “She knows you come first.”

“Promise?” She choked out, her eyes filling with tears at the thought that he had been willing to tell this other woman from the start that his ‘daughter’ was his priority, not her.

“Yes Ariel.” He whispered, his head leaning forward as he dropped a kiss against her forehead. “I promise.”

She sniffled once more before tucking herself back against his side with a sigh. “I love you Ethan.” She whispered.

“I love you too sweetie.” Another kiss was dropped to her head, his arm tightening around her shoulders once more as his head fell to rest on top of hers, and she felt her heart finally start to beat at a normal rate again.


	24. Rox

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rox was the last person Ethan was expecting to show up at his door at midnight. She was also the last person Ariel expected to see in his bed the next morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *I’m falling for this ship and I hate myself for it. I will never abandon Ethan/Leanne, and they are indeed my endgame here, but bear with me guys. You know I love all the angst I can get?!

Ethan had retreated inside not long after Ariel had, his heart still aching from their chat earlier, and he had been both pleased and disappointed to see that the teen had retreated to her room to sleep almost as soon as she was inside. He had been hoping to spend some more time with her, to maybe watch a movie or play a game. Hell, at this point, he would have been content to sit and help her with homework. He just wanted to spend time with her. He had bid her a goodnight through the closed door, but she didn’t respond, and when he had opened it to check on her she was already asleep. He guessed that maybe he wasn’t the only one who had had one hell of a day.

He had grabbed a beer from the fridge before forcing his legs to carry him up the stairs and to the second floor of the house. A task that certainly wasn’t easy given how tired he was after wandering through the forest all morning. Letting out a sigh he let his eyes settle on the hot mess that was supposed to be his master bedroom and he couldn’t help but curse Jack for declaring that this should be the last room he worked on. Granted, his living room was still in shambles, and Ariel’s room was nowhere close to complete, but he felt that he needed to get his ass in gear if he was going to convince his father that selling this place was a bad idea.

Taking a swig from the bottle in his hand he sighed, his eyes closing as he did his best to get himself together. He certainly hadn’t been expecting his father to show up at the house that morning. He had said a silent ‘Thank you’ to whatever higher being there might be that Ariel hadn’t been there when he showed up. He could only imagine how that would’ve gone. But then Rox had come flying through the door like she belonged there and his dad was asking questions and he was avoiding the subject as they darted out the door. That had been the last he had spoken to his dad that day, and while he was certain that he probably knew of Ariel’s existence at this point, and probably Leanne’s too, he had been thankful that there hadn’t been any annoying phone calls while he had been in the field.

Sighing again, he set his bottle down on the closest box, his hands grabbing the pliers as he moved to work on the large room. He didn’t know how long he had been up there when he heard movement coming from downstairs. He expected to hear Ariel’s voice filtering through the house, or perhaps her footsteps on the stairs, but neither of those ever came. Instead, there was silence. Shaking his head and declaring that he most certainly needed to go to sleep since he was hearing things now, he set his tools down and made his way out of the room. Stopping at the top of the stairs he heard it again, movement, but this time, it was clear that it was coming from outside the house, and his heart started to pound in his chest. 

Making his way down the stairs quietly he opened the drawer of the table just inside the kitchen and pulled his handgun out, his mind going to the absolute worst place possible. If someone was stupid enough to break into his house in the middle of nowhere, in the middle of the night, he was surely going to make sure they got one hell of a greeting. He held his breath as he waited for any more movement, but then there was nothing but silence. Sighing, he edged his way toward the door, his eyes doing their best to scan the front porch through the partially open curtain in the living room. He could see a body, a person about his height, standing just outside the door, but they weren’t moving, and they certainly didn’t seem to be trying to break in.

He had just reached for the doorknob when there was a knock against the wood, and he had to control himself from letting out a shriek at the shock it gave him. He certainly didn’t know of any robbers that knocked first. Moving to the door fully, he chanced a look through the small window, sighing when he saw the mystery person on the other side. Dropping the gun to the table by the door he pulled the oak object open without a second thought.

“Rox?” He whispered into the night. He was both shocked and thrilled to see her standing there. She had blown him off at the hospital earlier, declaring that she was supposed to see her aunt. He had wanted to go have a drink with her. To talk to her, offer her comfort, hopefully receive some comfort in return. But she had been adamant that he should talk to his father first. He wanted to tell her that he wasn’t going to search that man out, not in a million years, and that he just wanted to be with her, but he had just nodded his head before squeezing her hand, his eyes watching as she retreated down the hallway and out the doors.

“Hi.” He barely heard her words and he could see the tears in her eyes as he stepped forward, leaning against the doorframe with a soft sigh. “Can I come in?”

He knew that he should say ‘no’. He knew that she shouldn’t be here with Ariel asleep down the hall. But she looked so beautiful and so heartbroken and so lonely and he just couldn’t help himself.

“Sure.” He stepped back a bit, allowing her to move from the porch and into the dark house. He watched as she wrapped her arms around herself, her body still shaking slightly from the horrors of the day.

“You okay?” His question was whispered as he shut the door gently behind him and before he knew it his legs were carrying him toward her, his hands reaching for her hips as he stopped in front of her.

“Just…” She shook her head then, her eyes filling with tears, and he pulled her forward, tucking her against his chest as he wrapped his arms around her tightly. “Don’t wanna be alone.” She whispered against his shoulder, her hands gripping at his t-shirt tightly.

“I know.” He whispered, his lips pressing a kiss against her hair. He understood just how she felt. It was part of the reason he had asked her to get a drink with him. It was also the reason he had searched out Leanne and Ariel earlier. 

“Can I stay the night?” She whispered, her hands flattening against his back as she tried to control her breathing.

He once again knew he should’ve said ‘no’. He knew that it was wrong, that Leanne would surely kill him if she knew that she had spent the night while Ariel was there. But he was a grown man and he could control himself and surely he wouldn’t let anything happen.

“Of course.” He dropped another kiss to her head before pulling back from her, his hands going to cup her face between his palms. Even covered in tears and ash she was still beautiful and he couldn’t help himself when he leaned in and kissed her.

They stood that way for a few minutes, their lips dancing lightly over each other’s as their hands clawed at clothing. The need for air was the only reason they separated and when she dropped her head back to his chest he could sense the exhaustion in her. He squeezed her shoulders gently before pushing her away just enough to get a look at her face.

“Why don’t we go lay down?” He whispered his question and when she nodded her head he offered her a soft smile. 

“Can I shower first?” She asked as she followed him down the hall, her hand shaking in his as they stopped just outside the open bedroom door. “Something tells me you don’t wanna wake up smelling like soot, again.”

He let out a soft chuckle, his free hand going out to brush back her wild hair. “Yeah.” He leaned in then, dropping another kiss against her lips before pulling back. “Let me get you something to wear.”

She nodded her head at him then and he dropped her hand as he moved inside the small room. He pulled an extra t-shirt from the top drawer and tossed it at her, a small smile forming on his lips when she raised an eyebrow at him.

“This all I get?” She had a twinkle in her eye that told him that she didn’t mind in the least bit that she wasn’t going to be fully clothed while sharing a bed with him.

“I can get you pants if you really want them…” He offered her a sly smile, his own eyes twinkling at his words.

“I’m good.” She whispered then, her body turning away from him as she made her way down the hall and toward the bathroom.

He let out a soft chuckle as he collapsed back against the pillows, his body finally giving in to the exhaustion of the day. He heard the shower cut on, and then a few minutes later, cut off, and he couldn’t help but shake his head at the images that popped into his brain knowing that she was naked and only a few feet away from him. He couldn’t think like that, not with his daughter down the hall.

He must have dozed off because the next thing he knew the bed was dipping and she was settling herself against his side, a soft sigh leaving her lips as she tucked her head to his shoulder. He felt her shudder as he wrapped his arm around her, his hand settling against her hip, his fingers itching to push the material of the shirt she was wearing aside so that they could rest on bare skin. But he controlled himself, barely, but he did it.

“You ever talk to your dad again?” Her voice was soft as she settled herself into the mattress, her right arm moving to rest across his chest, her leg hooking itself overtop of his.

“Nope.” He whispered into the darkness. “He never came back. I didn’t go looking for him.”

“Why not?” He could tell that she was hesitant to ask that question and he knew that she was aware of how sensitive this topic was. He was thankful that she seemed to be aware of how not to push him over the edge. Something Leanne had always seemed to love to do.

“Just didn’t want to.” He hoped that answer would suffice.

“Does he make a habit of just showing up like that?” He could hear the almost anger in her tone and he wondered if she felt as annoyed by his father’s brash appearance as he did. 

“Nope.” He said softly, his fingers rubbing against her hip gently as he dropped his head to rest on top of hers. “That’s the first time I’ve seen him since Jack’s funeral.”

“You’re kidding?” Her voice was soft and sweet and it filled the room and made him shiver. He didn’t know why the slightly sarcastic tone sent his brain into overdrive, but there was something about it that sounded almost sensual.

“Nope.” He knew he should really come up with a better response than that. “We’re not exactly… close.”

“I gathered that.” Her lips pressed a kiss against his shoulder and her hand stopped just above his heart and it was all he could do not to roll her over and make love to her right then and there.

“He’s not the nicest of people.” He whispered into the dark, his eyes closing as he did his best not to remember his childhood. He didn’t want to think about those things, not while he had this beautiful woman in his arms. 

“I’m sorry.” She didn’t push, she didn’t pry, and when she dropped another kiss to his shoulder before propping herself up on her elbow, her eyes locking with his, he felt something inside him break.

“It’s okay.” He whispered softly, his left hand reaching up to push her hair from her face, his right hand finally getting up the courage to shove the material of her shirt away so that he could touch her flesh. He felt her shiver under his fingertips and he let out a soft chuckle when she rolled her eyes at him.

“Earlier…” Her voice caught in her throat as her hand moved to his cheek. He could see her struggling to find words, and whether that’s because she was tired or because his fingers have shoved the material of her underwear aside as well, he didn’t know. “In the fire…”

“What about it?” He didn’t recognize his own voice, the huskiness of it something he had never heard before.

“The poem?” Her fingers were trailing down his neck as his pushed her shirt upward a little more, his knuckles brushing along her rib cage as he did his best to control his breathing.

“Jack wrote it.” He whispered, his other hand cupping her neck as his fingers tangled in her hair, pulling her even closer.

“You sounded like you meant what you said though.” He barely heard her words, her eyes growing dark when his fingers make contact with the side of her breast. He felt her stiffen underneath his touch and he wondered for a second if he had gone to far.

“Maybe I did.” He whispered. He expected her to pull away, to run from him and his sudden confession, but instead she smiled down at him.

And the next thing he knew her hands were in his hair and she was straddling his hips and her lips were hot against his. He moaned at the contact, his hands gripping at her waist as he rolled them over, his teeth tugging on her bottom lip as he settled above her. She didn’t push him off of her like he half expected, rather, she pulled his head down to hers once more, her legs hooking around his hips as she pulled them even closer together.

He knew it was wrong. He knew that he shouldn’t be doing this. That Ariel was asleep down the hall, that he and Rox had only been seeing each other seven weeks, and that his heart was still in love with Leanne, but then she was running her tongue along his lips, begging for entrance, and her hands were tugging on the hem of his shirt, and he lost all ability to think, his body and mind only wanting one thing in that moment. And that was her. All of her. And he just couldn’t help himself.

——

Ariel awoke the next morning to silence in the house, her eyes working to adjust against the darkness that still filtered through her room. She wondered why she had woken up so early, her body betraying her need for sleep. Sighing to herself she figured that there must’ve been a reason, Ethan must’ve made a noise somewhere in the house, or that pesky raccoon was back in the trash can again. She pulled herself out of bed with a huff, her arms wrapping around herself as she made her way down the hall.

There was nothing unusual outside, and Randy the Raccoon was nowhere to be seen. She figured it must have been Ethan then and she moved back down the hallway, her eyes searching for any signs of the older man. He was nowhere to be found though, and the bathroom door was still open, the light off and a pile of towels on the floor. She shook her head at Ethan’s messiness and decided that she would invest in a hamper for the man, something he claimed to have no use for.

Stopping outside his bedroom door she let her hand rest on the knob for a second, listening for any sounds of movement, but there were none. She opened the door quietly, her eyes searching the dimly lit room for any sign of Ethan. But what she found, wasn’t just Ethan, rather, it was Ethan, and Rox. And they were tangled amongst the covers on the bed, and they were naked, that much she could tell.

Ethan was on his back, his bare chest visible, the sheet having settled around his waist, and Rox was tucked against his side. Ariel could tell she was naked too, her bare back staring at her like a fucking slap to the face. Their bare legs were tangled together, the sheet doing little to hide the intimacy of the situation she had just walked in on. She felt her breath hitch in her chest. She couldn’t believe that Ethan had lied to her. Just last night he had told her that she was his first priority, not Rox. He had also promised her that they weren’t sleeping together. That bastard had lied to her, about everything, and she felt her heart break in her chest.

Stepping away from the door, she pressed her back flat against the wall, her eyes filling with tears as she choked back a sob. The last thing she needed to do was to wake them up. She pushed herself away from the spot then, her legs carrying her toward her bedroom where she quickly changed her clothes, her hands grabbing for her bag shakily. She didn’t even bother to turn the lights on, or to leave a note, and she left her copy of his house key on the table by the door, right next to his gun and his keys. She wanted to scream, she wanted to turn around and go back to his room and yell at him. To tell him how much she hated him and how unfair this was. But she couldn’t make herself turn around. 

Instead, she pulled the front door open, stepping over the threshold with a sob, as she slammed the door shut behind her. She didn’t care if it woke them both at that point, by the time Ethan came to look for her she would be long gone. She made her way down the driveway, her shaking hands pulling her phone from her pocket. She contemplated calling Leanne, but she knew that the woman was probably still asleep, and to be honest, she didn’t want to have to explain this one to her. Not right now, not ever. She dialed Noa’s number instead, praying that the young woman would answer and come rescue her from this misery.

“Ariel?” Noa’s voice was soft, but lively, and Ariel was thankful that it didn’t sound like she was asleep. “It’s four in the morning. Are you okay?”

“I need a ride.” She whispered, her voice barely audible as she tried to hold herself together.

“Where are you?” Her voice was still soft and Ariel could make out the sounds of movement and talking behind her. She realized that Noa must have still been at Angels.

“Ethan’s.” She choked out, a sob wracking her body as she moved to rest against a nearby tree. “Please Noa. I can’t stay here.”

“Okay.” She heard the resident whisper something to someone nearby and then her voice came back over the line. “I’m coming.”

And then there was silence on the other end and Ariel felt her heart shatter. She couldn’t believe that Ethan had done this. That he had broken their little family once and for all.


	25. You Had to Know

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leanne had to know that Ethan and Rox were a thing. And she had to know that Ethan would play stupid when confronted about his relationship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *I originally had this slated as being two different chapters, but then I thought that the title was fitting for both, so I combined them.

After Noa had picked her up from Ethan’s, Ariel had demanded that she take her home to see Leanne. That was when the older girl informed her that Leanne was actually at Angels, that she had been there all night, and that she would, under no circumstances, be responsible for the teen skipping school, again. Ariel had begged then, her eyes filling with tears as she told Noa about what had happened, about the heart-to-heart she had had with Ethan last night. About how he had promised her over and over again that things were going to change. About how she had found him naked in bed with that new paramedic. Noa’s knuckles had turned white as she gripped the steering wheel, her mouth fumbling to form words as she had agreed to take Ariel straight to Leanne.

They had arrived at Angels a few minutes later, the traffic still light in the early morning hours, and Ariel had headed straight for Leanne’s office. But the woman wasn’t there, rather, as Jesse informed her, she was in Center Stage, elbows deep in some guy’s abdomen. She had let out a huff as she sank to the couch, her eyes filling up once more as she tucked her legs under her. She had never felt so alone in her entire life.

The next thing she knew the door to the office was being opened, and she heard soft footsteps enter the room. Then a blanket was being placed over her a body and a hand was caressing her cheek gently. She could tell by the smell of the perfume that it was Leanne who had come into the small room. And while she wanted to open her eyes and spill her heart out to her, she was too tired to think in that moment. Leanne had dropped a kiss to her head and whispered for her to stay sleeping, that she would be back in a little while to check on her. Ariel was thankful that she hadn’t tried to force her out the door and to school. She figured Noa must have given her some kind of hint about needing to be here in this very moment.

When she awoke a few hours later she could hear Leanne’s fingers dancing over the keyboard of her computer, soft music filling the office as she hummed along to whatever song was playing. She blinked her eyes a few times before pulling herself into a sitting position. She could hear the low rumble of thunder off in the distance and she figured that was pretty ironic given how her morning had gone.

“Hey there sleepyhead.” Leanne’s voice was soft, her hands reaching up to remove her glasses as she eyed her from behind the desk.

“Hi.” Ariel didn’t know whether she was about to get yelled at for being there or not, so she decided to keep her responses short and sweet until she figured out just how much trouble she was in.

She watched as Leanne stood from her chair, her legs carrying her quickly toward the couch, and she pulled her legs up to her chest, allowing the older woman to sit on the end of the small space. She expected her to yell, to get stern, to chastise her for her poor decision making, but instead she placed a gentle hand on her knee, her eyes soft as she eyed her from only a few feet away.

“What happened sweetie?” Her question was soft, much softer than Ariel expected, and she couldn’t help the tears that started to form in her eyes.

“Did you know?” She whispered, her body shaking as she wrapped her arms around her knees, her chin dropping to rest on top.

“Know what?” Leanne’s face displayed her confusion, and Ariel guessed that maybe Noa had left out all of the details of what had brought her here.

“About Ethan and Rox?” She watched as Leanne’s face fell, her eyes growing dark at the mention of the other woman’s name. She figured that she had had to have known though, because there was no shock in her eyes, no confusion or anger, just sadness.

“He told me a few weeks ago.” She whispered, her hands going to rest in her lap as she leaned back against the couch cushions. She let out a soft sigh as she closed her eyes, a tear slipping out as she spoke. “He told me they were dating.”

Ariel choked back a sob, her hands wiping at her face furiously as she tried to calm her tears. “Why? Why is he doing this?”

“Because this was what he wanted honey.” She could tell that Leanne knew that that line was full of shit. She knew that she didn’t believe that for one second.

“No he didn’t!” She couldn’t help but shout her words at her, her tears falling faster as she was all of sudden full of rage toward the older woman. “He didn’t want out! He loves you! You’re the one who pushed him away!”

“Ariel please…” Leanne’s tone was full of warning, but she could tell by her expression that she was just too tired to fight. 

“They had sex you know?!” She could feel her heart racing in her chest as her face turned red and her tears flowed freely. “Last night! While I was down the hall!” She screamed her words, her whole body shaking as she felt the intensity of the argument. She still couldn’t believe that Ethan had done that to her, that he had lied to her like that. “He didn’t even care that I was there! That I needed him!”

“What do you mean Ariel?” She could see the confusion on Leanne’s face as she turned to look at her, her hands going to rest on the girl’s elbows as she tried to comfort her. 

“They had sex!” She screamed again, and she prayed that no one in the hallway heard her words. She could only imagine how embarrassing that would be for everyone involved. “They… they were naked. In bed.”

“Did you see them?” She could tell that Leanne was fearful of her answer. That she wasn’t ready to cross that bridge with her just yet.

“No.” She whispered, her eyes closing as she tried to calm herself. “I mean… yes.” Leanne’s face turned from relieved to horrified in a matter of seconds and she choked back a sob as she tried to form words. “I mean… they weren’t doing anything. They were asleep.”

“But…” Leanne’s eyes were full of tears, but they were also full of a rage that Ariel had never seen there before, she prayed that that rage was aimed at Ethan, and more preferably, Rox.

“They were naked.” She choked out. “That much I could tell.”

“Oh honey.” She reached forward then, gathering the girl in her arms and Ariel felt a sob escape as she wrapped her arms around her mother’s shoulders. This was the last thing she wanted to have to tell her. The last thing that she wanted to have to admit to herself. She couldn’t believe this was all happening so fast. “I’m sorry you had to see that.”

“Why?” She whispered against Leanne’s shoulder, her sobs strengthening as she clung to her tighter. “Why would he do that to me?”

“I don’t know baby.” Leanne whispered back, her lips pressing a kiss against her head as she hugged her close. “But I’m gonna find out.”

——

Leanne had driven to Ethan’s house the second she had gotten Ariel settled at home, and she had gripped the steering wheel white knuckled the whole way there. She had contemplated calling him, knowing that he would have his phone on him. But then she realized that he could easily ignore her that way, especially if Rox was around. If she showed up at his house however, there would be no avoiding her. 

Pulling up behind his Jeep she let her eyes scan the area, looking for any signs of Rox’s vehicle, or her, and she let out a breath when there appeared to be no signs of the other woman. Climbing out of her car she slammed the door shut behind her, her legs carrying her up the walk and toward the front door as she took a few deep breaths. She knew that they needed to have this conversation, but she was terrified all the same. They had been doing so well the past few days, but now, now she wanted nothing more than to punch him in his ruggedly handsome face.

She stopped when she made it to the top of the stairs, the sound of the radio filtering through the open windows of the living room, and she could smell paint flowing through the early evening air. He must have been working on the house, because she could make out a ladder in the middle of the room, a bunch of paint cans littering the tarp covered floor. Her and Ariel were supposed to be helping him paint, they were supposed to be doing this all as a family. She felt a little piece of her heart break as she choked back her sob. Blinking her eyes rapidly to ward off her tears she brought her hand up to ring the bell, stopping when the door opened quietly before she could make contact with the little device.

“Hey.” Ethan’s voice was soft, his eyes tired as he offered her a soft smile from his place behind the screen. She hated that she still found him so adorable after everything he had done to her. 

“We need to talk.” She barked out, her hands going to the pockets of her jeans as she stood her ground on the porch. She knew if she entered the house she would get distracted, that her memory would take over, and she’d never get to the point of her visit.

“Ooookay…” He dragged out as he pushed the screen door open. He stopped just over the threshold, his bare feet resting on the wood beneath them as he crossed his arms in front of him. “What’s up?”

“Did you even notice that Ariel wasn’t in her room this morning when you got up?” She guessed that cutting to the chase was probably in her best interest with him right now. If she dragged this out it would just be harder. Better to just destroy him in one quick blow.

“It was almost 9.” He shrugged his shoulders as he spoke, his eyes setting on hers as he gave her a pointed look. “I figured she’d caught the bus to school.”

“Riiiight.” She let out a soft chuckle at his words, an evil sounding chuckle at that, and she kicked her foot against the floor board as she locked her angry eyes with his.

“What? It was a long day yesterday Leanne, I was exhausted.” He still looked exhausted in fact, and it made her wonder just how long Rox had stayed that morning. 

“From what I hear you were exhausted for other reasons too.” She wasn’t planning to go there, but she was jealous and she was angry and she wasn’t going to hide it at this point.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” His question was full of anger and she watched as his eyes darkened when the reality of what she was about to say hit him.

“You and Rox?” And that did it. She watched as his eyes filled with anger and fear and something that almost looked like guilt. She had caught him right where she wanted him.

“What about us?” He spat out.

“I heard you two slept together last night.” It was like a dagger through her own heart saying those words out loud, but she knew it needed to be brought up. She knew that he needed to know that he had screwed up. And that she was very well aware of it.

“Where the hell did you hear that rumor?” She wished above everything else in this world that it was simply a rumor. Something started by one of the nosy interns at the hospital. They had been the subject of many of those rumors once upon a time. Until Rollie heard a practically nasty one had put an end to it with a simple glare. They hadn’t been talked about around the water cooler since then.

“Not a rumor Ethan.” She locked her eyes with his once again and she watched as a realization hit him. “Ariel told me.”

“She what?” He stumbled over his words and she could see the panic set it. She wondered if he would try to hide from his mistake or own up to it? She never really sure which Ethan she was getting these days.

“She woke up this morning and went looking for you.” She figured it was probably best to leave out the part where she had had a nightmare that woke her up and so she went looking for him to comfort her. She figured he was already in enough trouble as it was. “You two were naked in your bed. She saw her clothes on your bedroom floor. She’s fourteen Ethan, she’s not stupid. She knows what that means.”

“Leanne… please…” She could practically see his heart breaking as he processed what she was saying to him. She had to wonder how embarrassing that must be, to know that your teenage daughter had witnessed you in your post-sex snuggling. In the months that they had been together they had always been careful to ensure that they never got caught. Ever. They either locked the door or simply did it when Ariel was at school. But they never put themselves in a position to have the teen walk in on them. Both for their sake, and for hers.

“No!” She shouted at him, her heart officially having enough of him trying to act all innocent in this. “You don’t get to use those puppy dog eyes and charm your way out of this one Ethan. You screwed up.”

“So we had sex? So what?” He was admitting to it now and Leanne wasn’t sure what was worse, being in the dark, or being in the know. “We’re adults and we’re dating Leanne, and we don’t live in a convent.”

“But Ariel saw you Ethan!” She could feel her blood pressure rising. She couldn’t believe that he was trying to defend himself here. He had always been the one to go out of his way to ensure that their sex life was never revealed to the girl. “Do you not even care that she saw that?”

“We were covered Leanne, and we were asleep, there was nothing for her to see.” And yet, here he was, acting like it was no big deal.

“You’re fucking insane, you know that right?” She took a few steps back from him, her hands going to run through her hair in order to keep herself from punching him in the face. “She’s fourteen Ethan, FOURTEEN! The last thing she should ever see is her father, naked, in bed. And especially with a woman who’s not her mother!”

“Jesus Christ Leanne you make it sound like she witnessed us actually going at it. It was nothing!” She had never wanted to hit another human being so bad in her entire life.

“IT WASN’T NOTHING ETHAN!” She was thankful that Ethan didn’t have neighbors, because they surely would’ve heard her, and the most likely would’ve called the cops. She could only imagine how fun that would be to explain to their friends in the LAPD. “Not to her. It was everything to her and she is heartbroken.”

“Why? What does she have to be heartbroken about?” The fact that he was downgrading Ariel’s feelings was really starting to irritate her and she kicked her foot against the floorboards once more. He continued talking, his voice carrying through the silent air. She didn’t dare turn around to face him though, because she knew that she would surely lose it then. “This is why I was honest with her about Rox and I being together. I didn’t want it to be a surprise when she started coming around more.”

“But you lied to her!” Clearly he had forgotten that he had promised the girl that he and the other woman weren’t sleeping together. She wondered how he had forgotten something so quickly.

“I did not!” He screamed back and when she turned around she saw a side of Ethan that she had never seen. He was shaking, his face red with anger, his eyes full of tears. 

“You destroyed her Ethan.” She sobbed out, her body starting to shake as the magnitude of their fight started to take over. “She was supposed to come first.”

“She does come first Leanne.” He whispered his promise as he took a few steps toward her. She backed away slowly, groaning when her back hit the porch railing. She didn’t want him to back her into a corner because then he would surely win her over. “She always has and she always will.”

“Then why did you let that happen when she was there?” Her question was barely a whisper but she had to know. She had to know why he would do this to their little girl. Why he would destroy her like this.

“It’s not like I planned it!” He shouted back, his hands going to his face as he hung his head. She could tell that he was breaking, she could tell that she had done what she came here to do. Which was destroy him, just like he had done to Ariel.

“Bullshit!” She muttered, her feet carrying her away from the railing and across the porch, stopping in front of the old porch swing. 

She eyed it wearily, her eyes filling up with tears as she recalled the many nights they had spent curled up on that object. Even before they had started dating, before Ariel had come around, back before things had gotten so tough. She remembered how they would curl up there after a long shift, him with a beer, her with a cup of tea. They would watch the sunset and talk about silly things, her desire to travel the world, his desire to stay in one place for more than a year. He would wrap his arms around her and she would press kisses to his neck and shoulders. They would hold hands as he pointed out the constellations to her, the night sky clear away from all of the city lights. She loved that porch swing, almost as much as she had loved him, and she wondered if he had shared any of those same moments with Rox. She silently prayed that the thing fell from the ceiling if he ever tried to.

“I didn’t.” He whispered his response, his hand going to her shoulder. He must have snuck up on her while she was daydreaming about that damn swing. “Jesus Leanne, what kind of monster do you think I am?”

“She has to come first from now on Ethan.” She sobbed out her plea to him. She needed him to know that this was her last stand. That she wasn’t going to do this anymore. “You cannot let Rox be around her. You cannot put her on the back burner for this woman. If you do, if you push her away, your out.”

“Out? What the hell does that mean?” She spun around to eye him warily.

“Out Ethan. Out of her life.” She whispered, her hands going to brush her tears away as she felt his hand fall from her shoulder. He let out a ragged breath as he took a few steps away from her then and she knew that she had hit him hard. Taking Ariel away from him was something that she swore she would never do, but if it was the only way to keep them both safe, then she wouldn’t hesitate to do it.

“You can’t do that.” He sobbed, his eyes filling with another round of tears as he sank down into the chair behind him, his head going to his hands. She knew that Ariel was his whole world, that no matter what stupid choice he had made last night that he loved that girl more than anything. She knew that taking her away from him would tear him apart.

“I’m already in enough trouble with CPS Ethan.” She could barely get the words out, her heart breaking at the simple thought of losing the girl. She couldn’t. She couldn’t lose her. Just like she knew that he couldn’t lose her either. “They’re already threatening to take her away. I can’t have your stupid decisions jeopardizing their decision to let her stay here.”

“Leanne…” His voice cracked at the use of her name and she wanted to pull him into her arms and hug him close. She was terrified of breaking him like this. She knew that he would never forgive her if she made such a bold move.

“No Ethan. I mean it.” She choked out, her hands shaking as she wrapped her arms around herself. “You keep this up you’ll never be allowed to see her again.”

“That’ll break her heart.” He whispered, his eyes lifting up to lock with hers. She could see the torment behind his gray orbs, the pain and the anguish. She hated herself for doing this to him. She hated that she had broken him like this. “It’ll break mine. You can’t do that.”

“I’m her mother Ethan.” Her voice was so soft that she barely heard it herself, but when he nodded his head she knew that he had heard her. And she knew that he understood what she was saying. Ariel was her whole world, and she would do whatever she had to do to keep her safe. Even if that meant taking her away from her father. “I have to do what I can to protect her.”

“I promise I’ll stop Lea.” He had tears streaming down his face as he stood, moving to stand in front of her. “Starting right now. I’ll keep Rox out of this.”

“This isn’t just about Rox, Ethan.” She whispered, her body starting to shake even more when he reached out to brush her hair back. She pulled away from him, her eyes warning him to stay back. She would never be the other woman. Never in a million years. And she didn’t care how adorable he looked or how much he needed her comfort or how vulnerable they both were, she would never lie in bed with another woman’s man. “We have to stop too.”

“Stop what?” His question was soft and it sent chills down her spine. He had to know that he was getting very close to crossing a line. He had to know what he was doing to her with the way his gray eyes shone in the setting sunlight.

“The fighting. The arguing. The pulling her in two different directions.” She swallowed as she tried to wrap her head around what she was saying to him. She knew that she was just as guilty as he was at all of those things. This was certainly not a one-sided issue by any means. “We both have to stop. We need to learn to co-parent, to get along. For her sake.”

He nodded his head then, his eyes closing as he dropped his head. “Okay.” He said softly, turning away from her and heading toward the front door. She wondered if he was going to leave without another word, if he was just going to walk away from her after everything that had just happened. “Can I call her tonight?” His question was quiet and she barely heard him, but when he turned back around his eyes were hopeful.

“Yes, but I’m not sure she’ll answer.” And that part was incredibly accurate. She didn’t know if Ariel would ever talk to the man again, but it certainly wouldn’t be because she didn’t allow him to try.

“That’s fine.” He turned back then, heading back toward the door. He stopped for a second, his hand on the handle of the blue screen, his head hung low, and she heard him whisper his question, barely loud enough for her to hear. “Do you want to come in?”

She knew what he was hoping for. They used to solve all their fights like this with sex, late nights of making love seemed to always make them feel better after their little screaming matches. Surely he didn’t think she would give in to him tonight though. Not when there had been another woman in his bed less than twelve hours ago.

“No Ethan.” She wanted to say ‘yes’ so bad though. She wanted to go inside and drink a beer and share Chinese take out with him. She wanted to get lost in some cheesy black and white comedy while he snuggled her close. She wanted to fall into bed with him as his tongue tangled with hers. She wanted to wake up to his fingers dancing along her bare skin, his smile soft and bright in the early morning sun. She wanted to go back to being Ethan and Leanne. But she knew that would never happen. That she would never get him back, not the way she wanted him anyway, and it broke her heart. “I can’t.”

He nodded his head softly, his hand moving to open the door. He turned when he was on the other side of it, his eyes catching hers through the screen as he sighed softly. “Goodnight Leanne.” 

“Goodnight Ethan.” And then she was turning and heading toward her car and her hands were shaking and her eyes were filling with tears. But this time it wasn’t because she was angry at him, or because she was frustrated or overwhelmed. No, this time it was because she realized just how much she truly loved him. And just how much of a fool she had been to let his love go.


	26. Picking Sides

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ethan should have known it would come down to this. That eventually he would have to pick between them. He just didn’t expect this day to come so fast. And he most certainly didn’t expect his heart to make the decision that it did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *So making Ethan pick between Rox and Leanne was NOT originally my plan, at least not like this. But I promise there is a point. I also promise that this is not the end of the Ethan/Leanne storyline (especially since rumor has it that Ariel’s arc starts soon), so please don’t give up on me! There will be a happy ending for these three by the end of the season!

Ethan had decided to wait a few days before going after Ariel, knowing full and well that he was in for the fight of his life with this one. He had stayed clear of Angels after his fight with Leanne, his desire to see them both being overrun by his desire to not get beat up, or beat down. He had chosen to stay home instead, slaving away on the repairs for the house.

His dad had showed up at his house the morning after Leanne put him in his place, and when they started arguing over selling the house, yet again, he had screamed for the man to get out. Over and over and over again. Until his lungs hurt and his head was pounding. The older man had only left when the tears had started to pour from his son’s eyes, his hands shaking as he pushed Jack, Sr. across the living room, his voice raising octaves with each shout.

After the older man had finally left he had sunk to the floor, his back hitting the wooden door with a thud as he sobbed uncontrollably. He couldn’t believe his life had come to this, that he had screwed up this much. He had lost his daughter, and the love of his life, all in a matter of days. And now, well now his father was about to dump him on his ass and he didn’t even care.

He had grabbed for his phone, his fingers dialing Leanne’s number without a second thought. But the phone simply rang and rang and rang. He called again, and again, and finally, after the tenth unanswered call he had thrown the object across the room, his body letting out a blood curdling scream as he felt his heart shatter in his chest. He had needed her, more than he had ever needed anyone in his entire life, and she wasn’t there. He had remained in his spot on the living room floor, crying until he had no more tears left to cry, surrounded by paint cans and tools. And when he awoke a few hours later he was pleased to see that he wasn’t alone.

Rox must have let herself in, because when he opened his eyes she was sitting on the floor across from him, her legs crossed Indian style, her hands in her lap as her dark eyes studied his face. They had stared at each other for what felt like hours before he finally got the strength to push himself up and toward her. He had lowered her onto the tarp below them without a second thought, his lips hot against hers as she tugged at his t-shirt. They had had sex right there in the middle of the dimly lit room, rough and hungry, their fingers clawing at each other like they were trying to survive.

The next time he woke up they were still on the floor, their bare bodies covered loosely with a blanket he must have dragged from the other room at some point. He had held her close, his tears pouring from his eyes as he had tried to forget about everything that had happened in the last week. Loosing Ariel, loosing Leanne, loosing his dad. He was terrified of what would happen if were to lose her too. 

He had muttered those words against her ear as his hands danced along her bare skin a few hours later, their bodies much more content now that he had moved them to the bed. And when she told him that he would never lose her, that she would never leave him like they did, he had sobbed against her lips how much he needed her. He felt like he was betraying everything that he had ever lived for, everything that he had ever believed, but in that moment, in that one solitary moment, their bodies connected as one, her hands in his hair and her eyes dark and lustful, he thought that maybe he didn’t love Leanne as much as he once had. That maybe, just maybe, he was capable of loving Rox just the same.

When he had woken up several hours later, the room once again dark, their bodies still tangled together under the bed sheets, he could hear his phone ringing from it’s place on the living room floor. Leanne’s ringtone echoed through the quiet house, causing Rox’s eyes to flutter open, her hand tightening around his bicep as he made the move to leave. She had whispered ‘don’t’ against his neck, her lips soft and gentle as she pulled him back to her. And while part of his heart, and his head, were screaming that he needed to answer the phone. That he needed to let her know that he was okay. He was also very well aware of the fact that he no longer needed her like he once had.

——

That had been three days ago, and while Ethan had continued to stay clear of Angels, his leave not being up until the end of the week, he had made the decision that he had to talk to Ariel, regardless of how hard this would be on all of them. He knew full and well that if he showed up at Leanne’s they could both easily ignore him. They could lock him out, they could call the cops for trespassing, they could just scream at him until he left on his own accord.

But not at Angels. No, at Angels, Ariel had to behave herself. And to some degree, so did he. He had told Rox his plan and she had agreed to drive him, knowing full and well that if this talk went anything like his last one with Leanne, he wouldn’t be capable of driving himself anywhere. She had dropped him off at the ambulance bay, her lips soft against his as she wished him good luck, pressing a quick kiss to his mouth before she gently shoved him away from the driver’s side door. He knew that she had his back, that she would support his decision to keep his life with his daughter separate from his life with her. But he also knew that she was struggling not being able to be a part of such a big thing in his life. 

He had promised her that it wouldn’t always be this way, that there would come a day when she and Ariel would both be a part of his life, at the same time. But she had been hesitant, reminding him that she had been in Ariel’s shoes as a teenager. She had warned him that it wasn’t likely that Ariel would ever be accepting of their relationship, that she would always want him and Leanne back together. He had buried his face against her neck as he fought off the urge to tell her that he would always secretly want the same thing.

After Rox had pulled away, her eyebrow raising at him as he just stood in the middle of the concrete area, he had taken a few deep breaths, preparing himself as best as possible for entering the building for the first time in almost two weeks. When he had turned around Noa was standing behind him, her hands in her pockets as she raised an eyebrow at him, a small and mischievous smirk on her lips. He had rolled his eyes at her as he gently bumped her shoulder with his and she had laughed, wrapping an arm around his shoulders as she guided him into the hospital. He was glad that of all the people in the world to have on his side, he had her.

Ariel had avoided him at all costs, and he was pretty certain that Jesse was helping her, but when he got wind that her shift was ending, and that she was outside getting some air, he had quickly made his way across the hospital, his eyes searching for her in the crowd of people gathered around the small patio. She had stormed away from him, her eyes dark as she brushed past doctors and nurses, her legs carrying her down the sidewalk and toward the front entrance of the hospital in a huff.

“Ariel! Please!” He called after her, his body saying a silent ‘thank you’ when she stopped on the steps of the main entrance. “We need to talk.”

“I don’t wanna talk to you.” She growled out. “Not now. Not ever.”

“That’s not fair Angel, please.” He reached for her, his desire to hold her outweighing his desire to get yelled at. “Let me explain.”

“There’s nothing to explain!” She yelled, her eyes filling with tears as she turned toward him. “You lied to me!”

“Honey…” He took a few steps forward, growling when she took a few steps back. “I didn’t lie to you. I would never do that.”

“You said you weren’t sleeping together!” Her voice was shaking and Ethan could see her body trembling as she wrapped her arms around herself.

“We weren’t Ariel.” He whispered, his eyes filling with his own set of tears. “That was the first time. We… we weren’t planning to. It just, happened.”

“I don’t care!” He could hear the anger in her words, the way she practically spat at him, her disgust for his relationship with Rox more than apparent. “You said I would always come first!”

“You do babe. Always. You know that.” And he meant every word of it. She would always come first. Always. No matter what. He knew that and Rox knew that and he liked to believe that Leanne knew it too. He just needed her to believe him.

“But I needed you!” She screamed, the tears pouring from her eyes faster than he had ever seen. “And you were too busy screwing her to hear me crying myself to sleep!”

“Ariel…” He felt his heart tightening in his chest. He had never heard her cries, he had never heard her calling for him. All he had heard were Rox’s moans of pleasure as he had taken his sweet time making love to her. He couldn’t believe he had been so stupid.

“No!” She reached forward then, pushing him with her shaking arms. He wanted to grab a hold of her and demand that she stop. That she shouldn’t be pushing her father around like that. But then his mind flashed back to him shoving his father through the open door a few days ago, tears streaming down his own face, much like they were streaming down hers now. And he let her continue her rant, her fists pummeling into his chest over and over and over again. “This is stupid! I hate you! I hate you!” She screamed, her fists connecting with his sternum hard enough that he would probably have bruises there in the morning. If he had taught her anything in his short year with her it had surely been how to throw a punch. “You were supposed to protect me! You were supposed to love me! But instead…” She stopped talking then, her breath catching in her chest as her arms fell to her sides, a hiccup escaping her lips. “They’re gonna take me away. They’re gonna take me away and put me back in the system and you don’t even care!”

“Ariel…” He reached for her once more, but she stepped out of his reach, her head shaking back and forth as she tried to catch her breath. “I won’t let them take you.”

“You were supposed to keep me safe!” She shouted, and when Ethan felt a hand on his shoulder he wanted to turn around and throw a punch, knocking the nosy jerk out of his misery. But then he heard her voice, soft and reassuring and he stopped, his hands falling to his sides.

“Ethan.” Rox’s voice was calm, the chaos around them having not cracked her tough exterior, and when he turned around she was right behind him, her eyes shining bright in the early evening light. “Stop.”

“Go away!” Ariel yelled, her body propelling forward as she made a move for the paramedic, but Ethan stopped her, his strong arms going around her as she tried to shove him aside. “This is all your fault! I hate you!”

“Ariel please…” He could tell that Rox was trying to reason with her, that she could tell that she was in over her head, but he silently pleaded with her to stop before she made things worse. “This wasn’t my intention. Your father… he’s been very adamant about your importance. I never meant to get in between you two.”

“I hate you!” Her voice was still firm, but now it was quieter and she was shaking like a leaf in Ethan’s arms. “I hate you and I hope you die!”

“Ariel!” This time it was Leanne’s voice that broke through the chaos and Ethan felt his heart tighten in his chest. This time because he knew how this would end. “Let her go Ethan!”

“I…” He threw his hands up, the teen pulling from him immediately and stepping into Leanne’s open arms. “I didn’t want anyone to get hurt.” He whispered, and that part was true. From the very start of this whole thing, that had been his goal. And yet, here he was, watching the three most important women in his life fall apart right in front of him.

“Stop it!” Leanne shouted, her body working as a shield as she put herself between him and Ariel. He could tell that if she were a lesser woman she would have hit him by now. “All of you! Stop it!”

“Lea…” He tried to interject but Rox’s hand on his shoulder tightened it’s grip and Leanne’s eyes were dark with a rage he’d never seen before and he felt all of the fight leave his body. “I’m sorry.” He whispered, his eyes filling with another round of tears as his arms fell to his sides, his head hanging in shame as he processed what had just happened around him.

“You don’t get to be sorry Ethan!” Leanne’s voice was loud, radiating through the otherwise quiet space around them like an alarm. He felt like he had been punched in the throat, like all the air was leaving his body.

“Dr. Rorish, please…” Rox’s voice was still calm, and still soft, and Ethan had almost forgotten she was there. But then Leanne’s face was turning red and she was waving a shaking arm at them both.

“Stay out of this!” She screamed, her whole body moving forward as she stepped closer to them. Ethan wondered for a split second if she was going to punch the other woman. “This has nothing to do with you!”

“It’s all her fault!” Ariel yelled back and Ethan decided that he would much rather have just died in that forest fire the other day. It would have been so much easier than facing this.

“Leave her out of this!” He shouted in return, his hand reaching behind him in search of Rox’s. She had been his lifeline last night and he certainly needed her to be one right now.

“I can’t do this Ethan!” Leanne’s voice was shaky, her eyes filling with tears, her body trembling under the weight of the entire encounter. “We can’t do this. Not anymore.”

“Leanne, please…” He whispered his plea, his voice giving way as he knew exactly what was coming. He was about to lose them once and for all, and there was nothing that he could do about it. “Please…”

“No!” She shouted, her hand shoving at his chest as she glared at him through tear-filled eyes. “I’m done! I won’t do this anymore. Not to me, and certainly not to her.” She gestured behind her to the trembling teen who was holding onto her for dear life. “We deserve better than this.”

“Please Leanne, let me fix this.” He wasn’t entirely sure how he was going to fix it just yet, but he was willing to do whatever she wanted him to. Whatever she needed him to, in order to get them back.

“Then choose.” She whispered and he felt his heart crumble in his chest. He was prepared to do anything and everything, except for that.

“Whaaat…” He couldn’t get air to his lungs, or to his brain, and he felt like he was surely going to black out. She couldn’t possibly be serious right now could she?

“Choose.” She growled back. “Right here, right now.” She stepped back from him, her arms going to wrap themselves tightly around Ariel as she glared at him. “Us? Or her?” 

“I won’t do it.” He whispered back and he felt Rox’s hand tighten around his. He knew that she must have figured that she would lose out in all of this. Surely he wouldn’t leave his family for her. “It’s not fair.”

“Life’s not fair.” Ariel whispered, her eyes closing as she buried her face against Leanne’s chest. He felt horrible watching his little girl fall apart like this. He felt even worse knowing that he had caused all of her pain. He couldn’t believe the kind of man he had turned into. The monster he had become. He couldn’t believe how much like his father he was turning out to be.

“Choose.” Leanne’s voice was a low growl this time, her body shaking as she closed her eyes, her head falling against Ariel’s as she tried to remain strong.

“I…” He turned toward Rox and then back toward Leanne and then back and forth yet again. There was no way that she could expect him to pick between the two. There was no possible way that she could be serious right now.

“Ethan…” Rox’s voice was barely a whisper behind him and when he turned to face her she was shaking her head back and forth at him. She knew that she couldn’t ask him to pick her, that had to be it. But he couldn’t give her up, not when she had been the only thing that had kept him going the past few weeks.

“Please…” Ariel’s voice was barely audible, and when he turned to face her her watery eyes were shining back at him from where they were almost hidden against Leanne’s scrub top. He blinked back his own tears as he shifted his gaze from each of them once again.

“I can’t.” And that was that. He couldn’t choose. There was no way. They all meant to much to him for him to decide that one of them was more important than the other.

So instead, he chose no one. And as he made his way down the hospital steps, alone, all he could hear in the background were Ariel’s soft sobs, Leanne’s gentle hushes, and Rox’s uneven breathing sounds.


	27. Ridiculous

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jesse thought that Ethan and Leanne were being ridiculous, and he didn’t care if he had to use their daughter to get them back together again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *While this episode lacked anything concrete that I could use for Ethan/Leanne, and hell, Ethan/Rox for that matter. It did give me some ideas for some conversations that might start to bring them all back together again. Obviously, it diverges from canon, but **spoilers for 3x07**.

Jesse had had enough. Absolutely enough. And if he had to watch Ethan and Leanne have one more staring contest from across Center Stage he was going to hurt them, both of them, badly. They had done nothing but fight, for weeks, and then, all of a sudden, they just stopped. And not only did they stop fighting, but they stopped talking all together. No more pleasantries, no more subtle flirting, no more comforting or supporting. In fact, they weren’t even screaming obscenities at each other, or arguing over who was right and who was wrong. No, they had just stopped. Completely. And while Jesse had been trying for the past month to get through to them both, he had been unsuccessful. But now, well now he had enough. 

“You two are idiots. Both of you.” He stated matter of factly, his hands going to his hips as he cornered them both in the stairwell. He knew they were on their way to see a patient, but he didn’t care, he was done watching them destroy each other, and themselves. And he most certainly done watching them destroy that precious girl of theirs.

“Excuse me?” Ethan’s question was sharp, his voice gruff as he stopped in his tracks, his hand stilling on the railing next to him.

“Mama?” Leanne’s voice was softer, but not by much, and when she turned to face him he could see the confusion in her eyes.

“Uh uh, my turn to talk.” He waved a hand at them both, his eyes darkening as he dared Ethan to turn around and face him. He heard him let out a sigh before he did just that, his hand falling to his side as he gripped his patient chart in the other.

“Jesse, what are you talking about?” His voice was quiet in the empty stairwell, echoing through the concrete space as they all stood there, staring at each other.

“You two.” He gestured between them and he wondered how long they thought they could keep this act up. He was on to them, and had been, from the very start. He knew about their complicated friendship. Their failed attempt at dating. Their awkward phase in between. He knew about their hooking up. About their fighting over Rox. About their fighting over everything. He had watched as they had broken up. As Ethan had taken up with the paramedic. As Leanne had fallen apart. And he hated that they thought that he was stupid enough not to know what was going on between them.

“What about us?” Leanne huffed, her hands going to her hips as she glared at him.

“You’re ridiculous.” He blurted out. “Stupid, pathetic, and ridiculous. Should I continue?”

“No!” They both shouted their response to him together, their eyes snapping to each other quickly as they both let out a huff. They were so much more alike than they would ever admit.

“Well then shut up and let me talk.” He was done watching this charade go on. He hated it. They were two of us best friends and he couldn’t stand watching them both walk around like the idiots they were.

“What is this about Jesse?” Ethan’s question was low, his eyes dark as he dropped his head downward, his hands tightening around the binder. He knew that he was pushing the Colonel’s buttons, but he also knew that if there was anyone in the world he would listen to, it was him.

“Your little fight on the front steps last month.” Jesse stated, his eyes shifting back and forth between them. He watched as both of their faces fell, a noticeable blush coming over them both. They should be embarrassed by that show they had put on. It had been absolutely absurd.

“You saw that?” Leanne’s question was barely audible and when Ethan stepped down a few steps toward her Jesse wondered just how wrong about their relationship he had been.

“Everyone saw that.” And that was indeed true. Everyone at Angels had heard that fight. Or at least, most of the people at Angels. Though very few had actually witnessed it. Especially after he and Rollie had cleared everyone out of the lobby in a huff.

“To be fair…” He didn’t know how Ethan could possibly justify that fight, but he was curious to see what his excuse would be.

“No! No! There is no justifying that.” But first, he wanted to put him in his place a little. “It was ridiculous. And the fact that you did it in front of Ariel, absurd.”

“It escalated a little quickly Jesse.” His words were shaky and Jesse could see the he was almost inching closer to Leanne. Like she would keep him safe. “I tried to keep her out of it.”

“Riiight.” He knew better. He knew that they would have had that fight regardless of whether or not that poor girl had been around them. He wished that they would just keep her out of this. She had been through enough already. The last thing she needed was to deal with more drama between her idiotic parents.

“Jesse we would never do anything to hurt her.” Leanne whispered, her arms crossing over her chest as her voice shook. “That… that wasn’t supposed to happen like that.”

“Then how was it supposed to happen?” He really was curious if they had planned out a better way for that to have gone down.

“We…” Ethan started to speak but then stopped, his shoulders slumping forward as he shook his head back and forth. Jesse guessed that maybe he was starting to realize just how stupid this all sounded.

“You two breaking up and getting back together and breaking up and getting back together, it’s exhausting to watch.” And he knew for a fact that everyone else at Angels felt the same way. “I can only imagine how that poor girl feels.”

“Our relationship isn’t that complicated Jesse.” Leanne’s words made him chuckle slightly. He had seen jigsaw puzzles with less pieces than their love life.

“Well yeah, because you don’t have a relationship right now. You don’t think I haven’t noticed? That everyone here hasn’t noticed?” He knew he was losing his cool, which he never, ever did, but these two were driving him absolutely insane. He turned toward Leanne first, figuring that she was the best place to start. “You, you storm around here in a rampage all day, yelling at everyone in sight.” Which was entirely true. She had yelled at Elliot more times than he could count. And she had yelled at Noa and Rollie, and him, on multiple occasions. Leanne was normally calm and cool and collected. Instead, now, she was a tyrant. He turned to Ethan then, his finger pointing in his direction as he narrowed his eyes at the man in question. “And you sulk around here like a dog who lost his bone.” Literally everyone stayed clear of Ethan these days, even Noa, and Jesse didn’t know if it was because they were scared they were going to break him. Or because they were scared that he might break them. “You don’t speak to each other, you don’t even look at each other, and don’t even get me started on the amount of tension between you two when you are in the same room together. I don’t know the details, I don’t know if I wanna know the details, but you need to get your acts together.”

“We’re trying Jesse.” Ethan whispered, his legs carrying him down the last two steps, his body stopping next to Leanne’s as he offered him a look that was begging for him to drop it.

“Well try harder because that little girl needs you both, together.” He knew that Ariel would never admit it to them. That she would never tell them how badly she was hurting. But she had confided in him on more than one occasion since that epic show down on the front steps and he felt bad for her. She was trying so hard to be strong for them both, but he knew that she was suffering. “You’re fighting is hurting her more than you think.”

“She’s fine Jesse.” Leanne whispered and Jesse wondered if she was trying to convince him, or herself.

“Like hell she is.” He really wanted to make them see just how badly they were tearing her apart but he didn’t know how to put that into words. “She’s smarter than you two give her credit for you know?”

“We know she’s smart.” Ethan said softly, a smile coming over his face that Jesse could only describe as proud. “We’re not denying that.”

“Then stop denying that she’s hurting.” He replied softly, his eyes bouncing back and forth between them.

“We’re not. We’re trying to keep things with her civil.” Leanne spoke up this time, her body turning so that she could press her back against the cold concrete wall, her eyes closing briefly as she let out a sigh.

“Really? Because that’s not what she tells me.” And that was true. Ariel had told him about how they hadn’t been speaking to each other, even when she was around.

“She tells you things?” Jesse didn’t even want to know why that seemed to shock them so much.

“She tells me a lot of things.” And it had only been in the last few weeks really, but he had come to know a lot about the girl. And some of it, well some of it broke his heart. “Turns out she doesn’t have much of a support system at home right now?”

“We’re both busy.” Ethan growled, his right hand going to run through his already messy hair.

“No busier than you were before your massive blowup on the front steps.” Jesse spat back. He was really getting frustrated with them both for making such excuses. They had a kid to worry about for Christ’s sake, and yet here they were, acting like everything was fine and dandy.

“It’s hard.” Leanne whispered. He could see the tears in her eyes and he felt bad for hurting her like this. She was best-friend and he wanted nothing more than for her to be happy. But he knew that there was noway that living like this could be what she wanted.

“And that’s bullshit.” He said softly, his eyes boring into hers as he spoke. “That poor girl is so lost and you’re both too busy worrying about yourselves to see it.”

“Jesse…” Ethan’s tone was warning, almost as if he was protecting Leanne from whatever Jesse was about to say. He thought for a second that seemed more like it.

“Look, I’m speaking on her behalf because I know that she’s too proud to tell you herself, but she’s falling apart.” He had reminded the girl that being honest with them would work out best. That she just needed to sit them both down and lay it all on the line for them. “She hates that you’re fighting, hell, we all hate that you’re fighting. You know she told me that she hasn’t seen you in two weeks?” He cast his eyes toward Ethan as he spoke. “That doesn’t sound like the super dad I know.”

“My dad’s in town…” The excuses this man came up with were really starting to get on his nerves.

“That’s no excuse.” He said softly.

“If you knew my dad you’d know it was.” But there was something about Ethan’s tone, about the warning look in Leanne’s eyes, that told him that it wasn’t an excuse. That there was a very good reason for Ethan to not want the teen around his father. He didn’t know what that reason was, but he was determined to find out. “I don’t want her around him.”

“And you can’t visit her?” He wondered if they realized that the kid had also shared with him how they had been at odds with each other over whether or not Ethan should be allowed to see her at all. Something that he thought was once again, ridiculous.

“Leanne hasn’t exactly been welcoming of the idea…” Ethan’s voice was broken, his eyes darkening with something that most definitely wasn’t anger, but rather, it looked more like pain.

“Hey! Don’t drag me into this, I told you you could see her whenever you wanted.” Leanne shouted at him, her hands going up defensively, Jesse moved forward to put himself between them when Ethan started barking back.

“Yeah, as long as it isn’t a school night, or after 7:00pm, or when the sun is shining?” He screamed back, his hands trembling as he pulled the binder closer to his chest. Almost like he was trying to shield himself from her. “You’ve kept her from me and you know it.” He whispered, his eyes filling with tears. Jesse should have known that bringing up Ariel in this light would cause things to get emotional. The bond that Ethan had with the girl was beyond something he had ever seen before and he knew that he loved her more than anything in this world. 

“Is that true Leanne?” Jesse turned toward his best-friend then, his eyes darkening as he took it all in.

“I…” She didn’t know what to say, her back falling against the wall behind her once again.

“Why? Why are you keeping them apart?” He didn’t understand Leanne’s logic on this one. Normally, it made sense. Normally, she knew what she was doing. But not this time. No, this one had him very confused.

“Easy. Because she doesn’t trust me with her.” Ethan whispered, his back falling against the railing behind him.

“It’s not you I don’t trust…” She whispered, her eyes going up to meet his softly.

“Then who? I told you, she won’t be around my dad, I’ve already made that very clear, to her and to him.” Jesse was getting more and more curious about Ethan’s father with the second. There had to be a reasonable explanation as to why this man was very clearly not allowed to be around Ariel. “The only other people I spend time with are Noa and Mario. You really trying to ruin her relationships with them too?”

“And Rox.” She spat back, her eyes darkening once again. Jesse didn’t understand why she had to bring her up. As far as he knew her and Ethan hadn’t been near each other in weeks.

“I’ll have you know that I haven’t seen Rox in weeks.” He was thankful to hear that Ethan’s words confirmed his theory that they were no longer working together. Not that he had anything against the woman. Other than the fact that she was tearing his favorite family apart.

“Bullshit.” Leanne’s face was red with anger and he knew it was about time to call it quits.

“Leanne…” Jesse said softly, stepping in between them, his hands going to her shaking arms as he locked eyes with her.

“I haven’t.” Ethan said softly, his body moving so that he could look over Jesse’s shoulder, his eyes trying to connect with hers. “She told her supervisor that we can’t work together anymore. Why do you think I’ve been stuck around here for the past month? It certainly wasn’t by choice.”

“I don’t want her around Ariel!” Jesse really hadn’t expected her to shout in his face, and judging by Ethan jumping slightly behind him, neither had he.

“And she’s not!” He screamed back, his voice echoing through the stair well. 

“Guys! Stop!” Jesse hated raising his voice, but he was tired of this. They used to be so good together. He didn’t understand why they were so hellbent on destroying each other lately. “This is exactly what I’m talking about. You’re both being stupid. You’re fighting over something that’s nothing.”

“It isn’t nothing to me Jesse.” Leanne growled out.

“And he just made it perfectly clear that it is nothing because Rox isn’t around anymore.” He was trying to be the voice of reason here, but he didn’t think it was working.

“I don’t trust her.” Her voice was rough and her eyes were full of unshed tears and Jesse just wanted this all to be over. He imagined that this must be what Ariel felt like when they fought in front of her.

“That’s fine. But what I’m getting from this right now is that you don’t trust Ethan either.” He hated that he said those words out loud because he honestly didn’t understand how anyone could not trust Ethan with anything.

“Why should I?” She whispered her question, her eyes dropping from those of the man in question to his instead.

“Why shouldn’t you?” Ethan whispered from behind him. Jesse turned then, his heart tightening in his chest at the look on the other man’s face. Like he had just had his whole world ripped out from under him. He imagined that having Leanne say that she didn’t trust him was similar to her taking a knife to his chest. “What have I done to make you not trust me with her? I apologized for what happened with Rox. I told you I was sorry, that it was a mistake. Ariel and I made up, we got over it. She knows that Rox and I are finished, that she isn’t in the picture anymore. Why can’t you get that through that thick head of yours? Why the hell is our fourteen year old more accepting of my apologies than you are?”

“He makes a good point Leanne.” Jesse whispered, his eyes returning to Leanne’s as he spoke.

“Stay out of this Jesse.” Her words were harsh and he felt betrayed by them almost. She had to know that he was just trying to help.

“No. Jesse can stay in this all he wants.” Ethan spat out, his feet moving forward, closer to them both as he spoke with a shaky voice. “I want to know Leanne. Why? Why are you so hell bent on not fixing this? Why do you want this to destroy us even more?”

“I…” Her voice was so shaky that Jesse barely heard her say the one simple word.

“Leanne…” Ethan reached for her then and Jesse watched as she broke. Big, fat tears started streaming down her face and he tried to pull her into a hug but she shrugged from his grip, turning away from him instead.

“I don’t know.” She whispered, her legs carrying her away from them both as she let out a choked sob. He felt horrible, absolutely horrible. This was totally not how he wanted this to go.

“I’m sorry Jesse.” Ethan whispered. “I’m sorry we wasted your time.”

“It’s fine. I just wish I knew how to get through to her.” He replied, his eyes going to Ethan’s as he let out a sigh. He imagined that the other man was probably thinking to same thing.

“That makes two of us.” He whispered before turning away from him. He had made it half way up the steps before he called out behind him. “Thanks anyway Jesse.”

“Yeah.” He huffed out. “You’re welcome.”


	28. Lifeline

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leanne needed a lifeline, turns out, he was in front of her all along.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *This is not how I intended this chapter to go, but alas, here we are. I’m honestly not sure what’s next, but I’ve got a few ideas floating around. If you guys have any suggestions, don’t hesitate to offer them up! Obviously, it diverges from canon, but **spoilers for 3x07**.

Leanne had been nervous about facing Ethan again after their confrontation in the stairwell earlier that week. She knew that they needed to talk, a real talk, not just screaming at each other or walking around on eggshells with each other, but actually talk. She had played over a thousand scenarios in her head, a thousand ways to approach him, a thousand things to say to him, but none of them seemed to work. That was until she had had a patient file dropped in her pile on accident, and her eyes had instantly been drawn to the name at the top.

Jack Robert Willis, Sr. stared back at her in Ethan’s sloppy writing and she held her breath for a brief second. She didn’t know why she was nervous to see that name staring up at her, it’s not like she had to go anywhere near the man. Clearly this chart was meant for someone else and she figured that maybe she could just play stupid and act like she had never seen it. But then it hit her. It was the perfect excuse to approach Ethan. The perfect reason to have to get close enough to him to talk privately. So she ran with it. 

“I met your dad today.” She whispered to Ethan a few hours later. She had found him in the break room, a fresh cup of coffee in one hand as his eyes scanned over the folder in his other.

“Yeah. He told me.” His voice was sharp, his shoulders squared as he moved aside, letting her step toward the counter.

“He’s quite the… character.” Leanne wanted to say that his father was quite the asshole, but she figured that he already knew that.

“I guess you could call him that.” He snapped back, his eyes never leaving the file in his hands. She let out a sigh as he started to walk away from her, she was trying so hard not to lose her cool but she could feel herself failing.

She didn’t want to scream at him. She didn’t want to yell or fight or even argue. She just wanted to talk to him, just like they used to do. 

“He had some nice things to say about you.” She said softly, her body turning so that she could rest her back against the counter.

“Doubtful.” He grunted out. He’s legs stilling him just inside the door.

“He told me he’s proud of you.” She whispered. She wondered for a second if he had heard her, but then he was turning and his eyes were shining and Leanne could see that she had struck a nerve somewhere. She just hoped it was a good one, and not a fighting one.

“In what universe?” His question was sharp, his eyes still focused on the papers in his hand.

“He just wants to connect with you Ethan.” She silently tried willing Ethan to look up. She just wanted to make eye contact with him. She wanted him to know that even after everything they had been through that she still had his back. “You are his only living son and all.”

“He should have thought of that before he threatened to evict me.” He finally lifted his eyes, but he still refused to lock them with hers.

“I think he’s scared of holding on to something that was such a big part of his son’s life.” She whispered. She took a few steps toward him, stopping when he held his hand out in front of his chest.

“He doesn’t have to hold on to anything.” His voice was shaky and she could tell that he was trying not to get emotional. She knew that talking about his brother was a touchy subject. Apparently discussing his father was as well.

“Ethan…” She knew that she was begging, pleading even, but she just wanted him to open up to her. She knew that part of their problems stemmed from the fact that they shut each other out. They needed to learn to be open with each other, no matter how hard it was.

“What? Why are we talking about this Leanne?” His head dropped as he shook it back and forth. His arms crossing over his chest as he let out a huff. “We’re not friends. We’re not lovers. We don’t need to swap secrets about each other’s lives anymore.” He lifted his head again, this time his eyes connecting with hers, and she let out a gasp at the pain she saw behind them. “You do you, and I do me, and we keep our daughter safe. The end.”

“Please Ethan.” She whispered, her eyes filling with tears. She wanted nothing more than to step into his arms and hug him. To kiss away his woes and have him do the same for her. “I’m trying.”

“You’ve said that several times before.” He whispered, his eyes blinking as he tried to keep his tears at bay. “And after every single time you’ve pushed me away.”

“I’m sorry.” She knew that her voice shook with those words and she knew that she was on the verge of breaking down. 

“Yeah, well, so am I.” He said softly, and then he was gone. Just like that.

——

A few hours later she had retreated to her office in hopes of getting a little bit of peace and quiet. She had searched for Ethan for over thirty minutes, hoping that he could take Ariel for the evening and give her a break, her head and her heart both in desperate need of some downtime. But she had had no such luck. Rather, Jesse had volunteered to take the teen for the evening, promising to feed her nothing but junk and to keep her up all night. The part of her that wanted to argue with him had long ago been squashed, so she had simply thanked him before watching the pair head for the hospital doors.

She had made herself a cup of coffee, her body not quite up to the massive amounts of paperwork she had waiting for her without some caffeine. She heard Ethan’s voice off in the distance, presumably bringing in another patient from his last ride along. She had wondered if he and Rox had gone back out together, they had spent all morning together after all. And despite her attempts not to feel jealous, she couldn’t help but wonder if he was reconciling with the paramedic quicker than he was with her.

After finishing her first five reports she had stopped to rest her eyes for a few minutes, the pounding headache from earlier returning. She had just removed her glasses when there was a soft knock on her office door and she wondered who in the world would still be hanging around at almost two in the morning. Letting out a soft sigh she called for the person to come in and she watched with wide eyes as Ethan pushed the door open slowly.

“Hey.” He whispered, his body turning toward her as he stepped over the threshold, entering the small space slowly. She could see the hesitation in his eyes, the way he was nervous to enter her sacred space, and it made her heart ache.

“Hi.” She whispered back, her hands dropping her glasses to the desk as she eyed him softly. She didn’t want to scare him away, not when he seemed to be reaching out.

“Can we talk?” His question was soft and when his eyes met hers she felt her heart tighten in her chest. She had missed those eyes staring back into hers. In fact, she had missed everything about him.

“Of course.” She leaned back in her seat and watched as he slowly closed the door behind him, his hands shaking slightly as he turned back to face her. “Have a seat.”

He moved forward slowly, his feet stopping him behind the chair rather than in front of it, and she felt her whole body freeze up. She didn’t know why she was so nervous about this, it’s not like they weren’t capable of talking like adults, they just often chose not too.

“What’s up with you and Elliot?” His voice was soft, despite his almost accusatory question, and she eyed him curiously as he raised an eyebrow at her in return.

“Excuse me?” She didn’t know where this was going, or why he was bringing this up, but she wasn’t entirely sure that she was comfortable having this conversation with him.

“You were awfully hard on him earlier.” She expected him to be rude, to get loud or angry with her, but his tone remained gentle and his eyes were soft.

“He can’t be trusted.” She whispered. She knew damn well that that wasn’t 100% true, but after everything that had happened the past few weeks, she wasn’t about to trust someone who hadn’t proven their worth to her.

“He’s fine you know. He’s a good kid.” His reply was quiet as he moved around to sit in the chair across from her desk. “He just needs someone to believe in him.”

“And you’re that someone?” Not that she had a problem with that. Ethan was good with the kid, that much she could tell, just like he was good with Noa, and Ariel. He had a soft spot for the young learners, something that had surprised her from day one.

“My dad sure seems to think he can get his act together.” She wondered when his dad had possibly gotten the opportunity to get to know the kid. But then she remembered the misplaced patient chart, the way she had somehow wound up with Jack, Sr.’s file instead of his actual provider. Elliot’s charts often got piled right next to hers and today they must have somehow gotten mixed.

“And that’s supposed to be reassuring.” She reached up to rub her eyes, the migraine from earlier doing little to make this conversation easier. “I thought you hated your dad.”

“I do. Doesn’t mean he doesn’t have good ideas from time to time.” Ethan’s reply was surprising. She certainly never thought she would hear those words leave his mouth.

“So what? I should just forget about all the mistakes he’s made?” She knew her tone was harsh, her body getting stressed with this conversation for a reason she didn’t quite understand.

“He’s a good kid Leanne.” He whispered. He lifted his eyes to lock them with hers and when he spoke again she wondered if they were still talking about Elliot, or if they had somehow switched to talking about him. “He’s trying to make the best of a horrible situation. He’s trying to make things right. Give him a little credit.”

“You’re awfully forgiving of him.” She whispered, her eyes beginning to water as she realized that she should be so forgiving of Ethan. At this point, she honestly had no reason to still be mad at him.

“He’s young. He’s still learning.” He leaned forward in his chair then, his head going to his hands as he let out a soft sigh. “If people had given up on me for every stupid mistake I made at his age I’d be dead by now.”

“You really think I should give him another chance?” She wondered briefly if she was asking about Elliot, or Ethan.

“I think you should give him a gentle nudge in the right direction.” She guessed that they were maybe talking about both.

“When did you become such an expert on handling people?” She hadn’t meant for her question to come out so harsh but judging by the flicker of anger that appeared in his eyes it had.

“I’m… trying.” His reply was so quiet that she barely heard it and she let out a soft sigh. She knew that he was trying, that this was him reaching out, that he was doing the best he could with what he had. She wanted nothing more than to just say ‘screw it all’ and climb back into his arms right then and there.

“I know.” And she did know, she just hoped that she could convey to him that she understood just how hard he was trying to make things right.

“I’m sorry.” He whispered and when his eyes met hers once more she was taken aback by the tears that she saw brimming his eyelashes. She rarely saw Ethan get emotional, and it normally only happened when it came to Ariel. To see him get so upset because of something that had to do with her, well it made her heart ache and her palms sweat and she felt like crying herself.

“I know Ethan.” She whispered back, and when she pushed herself up from her chair, her legs carrying her around her desk and toward him she couldn’t help the smile that formed on her face at his shock. “I’m sorry too. For everything.”

“I want to make things right.” He reached for her then, something he hadn’t done for the better part of four months. 

“Me too.” She whispered, her hand going out to take his. She was shocked when he tugged her forward, bringing her to stand between his legs. Five months ago she would have been 100% certain that this would end with them both naked and on the small couch against the far wall. But now, well now she was just thankful to have his hands in hers again.

“I want to try to make things right Lea.” The use of her nickname sent her heart into overdrive. It had been far too long since his beautiful voice had said that word to her. Since he had said it with such gentleness and love. “I want to try again. To makes things work. Not just for us, but Ariel as well. She deserves better. We all do.”

“I’d like that.” She whispered, her fingers tightening around his as she blinked back her tears. “I’d like that a lot.”

“Me too.” He whispered back, his eyes shimmering under the tears in his own eyes.

——

Leanne’s talk with Ethan had ended rather abruptly when Noa had come barreling through the door, raving on about how their patient needed them and she was crashing and something along the lines of ‘a lot of blood’. She had pushed past Ethan without a second glance and she was worried that he was going to be upset. But then he was squeezing her hip and bidding her a ‘goodnight’ with a gentle kiss to her ear and she knew that all was certainly on it’s way to being forgiven.

That had been four hours ago and she had worked tirelessly on her young patient all morning. After her exhausting conversation with the girl’s mother, and then a few minutes later, with Noa herself, she had felt her heart ache in ways she wasn’t used to. She wanted nothing more than to go home and crash, sleeping the day away while Ariel spent her day with Jesse and his nieces sounded like the perfect way to unwind. But then she was in her car and her hands were gripped tightly against the steering wheel and before she knew it she was pulling into Ethan’s driveway. 

She didn’t know what possessed her to come here, to seek him out after everything that had happened. But she missed him. And she needed someone to talk to. And he just seemed like the perfect person to provide her with the amount of support that she needed. She turned the car off and said a silent prayer that he was even home, and that if he was, that his father was nowhere to be seen.

“Fancy seeing you here.” She almost had a heart attack when his voice carried through the empty air around them. She shouldn’t have been surprised that he had heard her pull up though, it’s not like there were a lot of other noises in the woods.

“I…” She turned around then, her words falling flat when she caught sight of him, her throat going dry and her heart thundering in her chest. She swallowed, her eyes giving his half-dressed body a once over. It’s not that she hadn’t ever seen him shirtless, because she had, many times. In fact, she had seen him completely naked on more occasions than she could recall. But for some reason, there was something about the sight of him, standing there on his front porch, his flannel pajama bottoms hanging low on his hips, his feet bare against the wooden floor boards, his eyes dark and his hair a wild mess, that was absolutely doing her in.

“You okay there?” His voice was husky, a small smile forming on his lips as he eyed her softly from his spot. She wondered how ridiculous she must have looked, standing there, still dressed in her scrubs and more than likely drooling at the sight in front of her.

“Yeah.” She whispered, her hands gripping each other tightly as she moved to stand at the bottom of the steps.

“Wanna come in?” He gestured behind him at the partially opened door and she wondered if he was just being polite, or if he did in fact, want her company.

“Is your dad here?” She asked softly, her eyes doing their best to go everywhere but his bare chest. She didn’t know why she all of a sudden felt like a teenager, showing up at her boyfriend’s house unannounced. 

“Nope.” His reply was soft as he moved back a few steps, allowing her the space she needed to make her way up the stairs. And yet, she was frozen in her spot. 

She knew damn well what would happen if she went inside right now. She knew that she wouldn’t be able to resist him and that she would fall into his arms. And as much as she wanted nothing more than to allow him to undress her very slowly and have his sweet way with her, she didn’t want to push the boundaries farther than what was acceptable. She knew what she wanted. She knew she wanted him, all of him, and she’d be damned if she was going to lose him again. But there was still that feeling in the pit of her stomach that told her that she should be cautious of jumping into bed with him again.

“Maybe I should go…” She didn’t know what possessed her to say those words but the hurt look in his eyes at her response made her feel horrible. She guessed that maybe he was seeking her comfort just as much as she was seeking his.

“It doesn’t have to be like that Lea.” He whispered, his eyes softening as he reached a hand out toward her. “Just come inside. We can talk.”

“We’re not very good at the talking thing.” She whispered back, and as much as she wanted to flee, she just couldn’t. So she took his outstretched hand and made her way up the steps with a soft sigh. When she stopped in front of him she couldn’t help the shiver that came over her body.

“Well I suppose we should work on that then shouldn’t we?” His question was quiet, his eyes gentle as he tugged her forward, his arms going around her gently.

She let out a soft sniffle, her arms wrapping around him tightly as she fought off another round of tears. She had done so much crying these past few months, mostly because of him, and she was tired of it. But this time, well this time she was crying because it felt so good to be in his arms again. She felt like a piece of her was put back together, like something in her life might just actually be starting to make sense.

“Will you make me breakfast?” She whispered against the warm skin of his shoulder, her fingers tracing over the small scar just below his left rib.

“I’ll even serve it to you in bed.” He said softly, his arms pushing her back just enough that he could look into her eyes. “How’s that sound?”

“Perfect.” She couldn’t help the chuckle that escaped her lips when his face lit up at her simple reply and she felt her heart flutter when she saw the softness from four months ago return to his eyes.

She expected him to say something back, something charming or even flirtatious. And an even bigger part of her expected him to kiss her. But he did neither of those things, instead, he wrapped his arms around her again, tugging her against his chest with a gentle sigh. She felt his lips press against her ear in a gentle kiss, and then he was whispering the words she had been longing to hear since she had walked away from him on that rooftop all those months ago.

“I’ve missed you.” He whispered, his arms tightening their hold on her even more.

“I’ve missed you more.” She whispered back, her eyes filling with tears as she clung to him like the lifeline he had always been. Like the lifeline that she always knew he would be.


	29. Father’s and Sons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ethan didn’t know why he was standing here justifying his decisions to his father. He wasn’t a child anymore, not that he would have cared any more back then.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *I wanted Ethan’s dad to ask questions, because, let’s face it, I feel like he’d be rather nosy. I also wanted them to talk more about Ethan’s brother, about their relationship(s), so here’s my take on that. It obviously diverges from canon, but slight **spoilers for season 3 as a whole** , at least Ethan’s storyline.  
> **Also, I know they’re not trying to paint his dad as an asshole, I however, am.

Ethan had been thrilled when Leanne had showed up at his place earlier that morning. And he had more than thrilled when she had stepped into his arms for the first time in over four months. And when she had asked for him to make breakfast and had agreed to stay and cuddle and had fallen asleep in his arms, well, let’s just say that he had never been a happier man. 

She had never felt so soft, so welcoming and warm and damn near perfect. And when she had crawled into his bed wearing nothing but his t-shirt, her loose curls framing her tired face, he had felt his heart beat faster than it had in months. Even when he was with Rox, even when they had been at their best, he had never been as excited as he was right then and there. Leanne had curled herself around him, like she had never left, like she belonged there. And he had let her. He had hesitated at first, scared to push the boundaries on whatever it was that they were now. But then she had pressed a kiss to the space just below his ear and had whispered how much she needed him and he had been helpless to resist her. 

They had made love nice and slow, like they didn’t already know every curve and every inch of the other’s body. And he held her close when she came, her eyes filling with tears as he kissed her with every ounce of passion he had in him. He had wanted to drag her to the shower then, but she been unwilling to let go of him, and when she had hooked a leg around his waist and rolled them over, her hands stilling on his bare chest as she kissed him roughly, he had let all thoughts of having her anywhere but in his bed leave his mind.

Eventually they had retreated to the shower, when her legs were shaking and his vision was blurry and they were both more than satisfied. He had wrapped her up in a towel when they were done, and had spent another ten minutes pressing kisses to her lips, neck, and chest, his body reacting immediately to the soft moans that escaped her lips. He never wanted to know life without her, ever again, not for as long as he lived. And he had whispered those words in her ear as he slid into her once more, her fingers curling around the hair at the nape of his neck as she dragged his lips to hers.

They finally collapsed back into the bed with only a few hours to spare before they had to go get Ariel and Ethan had wrapped his arms around her tighter than he thought possible. She had mumbled something about him being clingy but he had shushed her with a quick nip at her neck, his arm tightening around her waist as he pulled her back against his chest. She had giggled at him then, her legs doing their best to tangle with his as she snuggled even further into his embrace. He felt like he was dreaming, like he must have been in heaven.

That was until he opened his eyes two hours later to see his father standing in the open doorway of the room, a cup of coffee in his hands as he stared at them like they were some damn museum display. He let out a grunt, burying his face against Leanne’s neck. He wanted to wake her, to have her there to help him combat what was sure to be an extremely awkward conversation with his father. But then she had let out a soft sigh, her body relaxing against his even more, and he had decided that letting her sleep was much better than the alternative.

“A little privacy please dad.” He growled out, his eyes snapping up to catch those of the older man. His dad didn’t say anything, just shrugged his shoulders and walked away, but Ethan knew exactly what he was thinking.

Crawling from the bed with a groan he grabbed the closest pair of sweatpants he could find, pulling them on with a huff. The last thing he wanted to do was to explain his relationship to his father, especially since he didn’t even understand his relationship. But more than that, he didn’t want Leanne to have to face his father’s impending judgment. He knew all to well what his father thought of him, and his relationships, and he had witnessed Jack, Sr.’s wrath come down upon Jack, Jr. on more than one occasion. 

“You make a habit of sleeping with your boss?” His father’s words were gentle, but his eyes were sharp and Ethan hadn’t even made it into the kitchen before the interrogation started.

“She’s not my boss, per say.” He really didn’t know how to explain his working relationship with Leanne to anyone, including himself. They were co-workers yes, but everyone knew who was in charge when it came to Angels. And it sure as hell wasn’t him.

“You make a habit of sleeping with your co-workers then?” He rolled his eyes at his dad’s words. They were so much more than that and he wished that he had the energy to explain that to the man.

“We were just taking a nap dad.” The look his father gave him told him everything he needed to know about just how much he knew about their relationship. The clothes on the floor and Leanne’s bare legs sticking out from under the sheets probably didn’t help their cause any.

“You know I met her yesterday at the hospital?” Ethan wasn’t entirely sure what his father’s point was, but he wondered if it was too early for a beer. He was certainly going to need one if he was going to have to explain his relationship like he was still in high school.

“Yes dad, I’m aware.” Leanne had told him about their encounter yesterday, and while he hadn’t been thrilled with the fact that they had met, he was thankful that he didn’t have to be the one to do that introduction.

“She’s a nice girl.” Well at least his dad seemed to like her, he supposed that was a plus.

“Woman. Dad. She’s a nice woman.” He growled out, his hand yanking open the refrigerator door, his eyes searching hopelessly for a beer of any kind. Even that cheap shit that Mario drank or those fruity beverages that Noa enjoyed would do the trick right about now. 

“Doesn’t seem like your type though.” And there it was, the judgement. He was upping his game this time, normally he would sugarcoat things for at least another ten minutes before sharing his displeasure with his son’s choice in women.

“Really now?” He groaned when he realized his search for beer was a lost cause and he shut the door with a thud, his body falling back against the fridge as he eyed his dad curiously. He wondered how the man had any earthly clue what ‘his type’ was. Hell, he didn’t even know the answer to that question. “And what do you suppose, is my type?”

“That Rox girl seemed more your speed.” Fuck. He should have known that his dad would take to Rox. Her no-nonsense attitude was right up his alley.

“Rox was nice.” He huffed out. And that part was true. He would never deny that the woman was nice, she had his back in the field, that much he trusted. “But she isn’t Leanne.”

“What the hell does that mean?” His dad’s eyes were dark and Ethan could tell that he didn’t like that Ethan was questioning his judgement. He knew that his dad wondered why he and Jack had stopped bringing girls around the house almost as quickly as they had started.

“Rox is... challenging.” And that was an understatement if there ever was one. Rox had been fun and he had enjoyed being with her, she made him laugh and they had a good time, and she was great in bed. But she wasn’t Leanne, and she would never come close, ever.

“I thought you liked a good challenge.” Rolling his eyes once more he pushed himself up and away from the fridge, his body searching out caffeine since alcohol was no longer an option.

“I do. Normally.” Which was more than true. He hadn’t been in many relationships in his life, in fact, he could count on one hand how many he had been in before Leanne. And hell, even with her and Rox added to the total he still only needed six fingers. “But Leanne...”

“Leanne is what?” The fact that his dad was even bothering to ask that question shocked him. Normally he didn’t care to know anything about his girlfriend’s, other than what they did for a living. And if and when they were going to give him grandkids. 

“She’s simple. She’s comfortable.” And while he figured that most women would probably take that as an insult, he knew that Leanne wouldn’t. The fact that she made him feel like home, that she made him feel so calm without even trying, it was something that she had always treasured. “She makes me smile without having to actually do anything. She keeps me on my toes. I never have to wonder if she’s got my back, both in the ER and at home. She’s broken, just like me, and together, we’re slightly more whole than we were before. And that’s good enough for me.”

“That certainly doesn’t sound like the Ethan I know.” He let out a sigh as he took a sip from his coffee cup. Of course that didn’t sound like the Ethan that he knew, because the Ethan that he knew didn’t exist. He was a made up character in his father’s head that was perfect and charming and tough and everything his father thought that his sons should be. He always thought that it was ironic that none of his sons, not even his youngest, Ethan’s half-brother Nate, were anywhere close to any of those things.

“Well I’ve changed a lot over the years dad.” And he had, he had gotten harder, and in some ways, softer. He had learned a lot, especially after having been in Afghanistan, after having spent so much time traveling the world. He had turned into a totally different person than even he ever thought he would be. In fact, he had turned out to be just the person his mother had always said he would. “I’ve grown up. I’ve had to.”

“Ever since you came back to LA, you’ve been different.” He wanted to snap at his father that that was what happened when your brother died and you were forced out of the field because of a bad call, but he refrained. “That hospital, it’s done something to you.”

“It hasn’t done anything to me dad.” Attacking Angels was like asking for a fight and he squared his shoulders and gritted his teeth as he fought off the urge to tell his father to go to hell. “Except for maybe make me a better person. Those people, they’re my family.”

“I’m your family.” That was the biggest line of bullshit he had ever heard in his entire life. His father had never been his family. Not even before his mother died and he had married another woman and had his own little perfect family.

“No. Your my father. You haven’t been my family in years.” He knew it was a stab to the heart, but his father deserved every last bit of what he was dishing out to him right now. He had never been so open and honest with him about his feelings before, mainly because he had been afraid his dad might beat the living day lights out of him. But something told him that he wouldn’t dare do that now, not with Leanne asleep a few feet down the hallway. Not when he knew that his son was already on the complete edge. “But they... they picked up the pieces after Jack died.”

“Robert wouldn’t even recognize you anymore.” He cursed inwardly at the use of his brother’s middle name. Jack had hated being called Robert, in fact, his father was the only person who refused to call him by his given name. Ethan had always secretly wondered if it was because he wanted to be the only Jack Willis in the world.

“Jack would’ve been proud.” And he knew that was a fact. Jack would have supported him. He would have cheered him on with his endeavors at Angels. He would have swooned over Leanne and spoiled Ariel. He would have been best friends with Jesse in a heart beat, and probably Mario and Angus too. And he would have most definitely been a fan of annoying the crap out of Campbell. “He would’ve learned to love them. I like to think he would’ve thanked them.”

“For what?” His father’s question was harsh and Ethan could see something that almost looked like hatred in his eyes. He supposed that his father probably hated his new family, for taking him in, for loving him the way he should have. Kind of like how Ethan had hated his step-mother and his half siblings for getting the best out of his father, when all he and Jack and their mom had gotten was an emotionally abusive asshole.

“For saving my life.” He whispered. He had never told anyone at Angels about how depressed he had been when he had taken the transfer to LA. No one except for Noa. And he knew that she would take his secret confession about wanting to kill himself somedays to the grave. “Jack’s not the only son you could’ve lost three years ago dad.”

“I had no idea.” His father’s eyes almost looked like they were full of regret for a split second, but Ethan knew that wouldn’t last.

“You never asked.” He said softly, his head falling downward as his eyes stared at the floor, his bare feet staring back at him from under the grayed hem of his sweatpants.

“It’s not like you called.” And there it was, the blame train, his father’s favorite vehicle.

“It’s not like you did either.” He snapped back. He was over this conversation and honestly if he hadn’t been afraid of leaving Leanne alone in the house with the older man he would have stormed out by now.

“So coming here saved your life?” He was pretty sure that he had just said that, but he guessed that maybe his dad was having a hard time processing that information. He had always looked down upon people with depression, even those with PTSD were helpless in his eyes. 

“Leanne saved my life.” He whispered, his eyes suddenly filling with tears. He had never told her how meeting her had changed him. How her smile had pulled him out of a deep, dark hole where there was no end in sight. Even when they were still just friends she had been his backbone and he couldn’t believe that he had ever considered letting her go. “Her and Ariel, they’re my whole world dad. I’d be nothing without them.”

“Who’s Ariel?” His father’s question startled him and that’s when he remembered that he had been keeping the teen a safe distance from the older man, and with good reason of course.

“My daughter.” He said softly, his head lifting slowly until his eyes met the older man’s.

“You had a kid without telling me?!” His father’s raised voice surely would have woken Leanne and he was praying that she knew to just stay away. “Wow, way to beat your old man down.”

“She’s adopted dad.” He really didn’t know why he was explaining all of this to him, it was honestly none of his damn business where Ariel had come from. Whether he had fathered her or not, it didn’t make a damn difference to him. She was still his kid. “Relax.” 

“How old is she?” His father stood with his question and Ethan instantly felt ten times smaller.

“Fourteen.” He whispered.

“You adopted a fourteen year old?!” Again, another loud question and he could see the anger and disappointment in his father’s eyes. He wanted biological grandchildren, kids who would carry on the good Willis name, who would grow up to be strong and confident and obedient. But more than anything, he wanted grandsons. Both Ethan’s half-sister and brother had daughters and didn’t appear interested in procreating anymore. He thought that that was maybe God’s way of telling his dad to fuck-off.

“Leanne did.” He guessed that maybe making it sound like it was Leanne’s fault probably wasn’t a good idea either.

“So, not technically your kid?” He seemed relieved almost and Ethan wanted to scream at him that she was still his kid. That it didn’t matter that they didn’t share DNA. That he was her father and she was his daughter and that that didn’t change just because his dad wanted an army of little minion grandsons.

“Not technically.” He felt his shoulders slump with a slight disappointment. He knew there was nothing he could do about the fact that Ariel wasn’t his, but sometimes it hurt that she wasn’t. “But I’m not really much on following the rules in case you haven’t noticed.”

“So wait...” His father raised an eyebrow as he crossed his arms over his chest, his feet having stayed planted in their spot next to the kitchen table, “is that the blonde girl that was hanging around the hospital yesterday?”

“She volunteers there.” He couldn’t help the smile that came over his face when he said that. He was proud of the girl, more proud of her than she would probably ever understand.

“She in some kind of trouble?” He should have known his father would look for a way to try and fix something that wasn’t broken. Ariel was a teenager, she was bound to get in trouble, she wasn’t something that needed beaten down in order to fix. 

“Got suspended from school for threatening to punch someone.” At least, that was the story he had been told, and he was sticking too it. Part of him wondered if she actually had punched someone, he honestly wouldn’t have been surprised at this point. And he had seen the girls at her school, he was sure whoever it was had deserved it.

“You sure she ain’t your kid?” His father almost sounded slightly, proud, but then that disgust was back in his eyes and he was moving forward, his long legs carrying him closer to Ethan than he would have liked.

“Sometimes I wonder.” And he did wonder, sometimes. In fact, if he didn’t know 100% that that girl wasn’t his, he would ask for proof. “Trust me.”

“Why haven’t you introduced me to her?” His father did however, sound hurt by that, and Ethan was shocked. “Or Leanne for that matter? They seem important to you.”

“They are dad.” They were his everything, and that was exactly why he was keeping them a secret from his old man. “And that’s exactly why you haven’t met them yet. At least not in a personal capacity.”

“Come on kid, I’m trying here.” His father was infamous for ‘trying’ to fix things. Every few years he would show up, try and convince him and Jack that he had changed, that he was a better man, that he wanted to connect with them. But then one of them would do something stupid, or at least stupid in Jack, Sr.’s eyes, and he would lose his mind again. Flying off the handle about how irresponsible and worthless his boys were, about how they couldn’t keep themselves out of trouble if they had tried. He was full of a lot of empty promises, and that was about it.

“You wanna evict me from my home.” He snapped, his heart, and his head, officially having had enough of this conversation. “Excuse me if I don’t exactly wanna let you in on any more personal details.”

“You know it’s nothing personal.” Yeah, he knew it wasn’t personal, his father never did anything that was personal. It was all business, strictly business. He ran his unit in the military that way, he ran his children that way, and he even ran his marriages that way. There was never any emotion involved. “I’m just ready to get rid of this place. It’s what Robert would’ve wanted.”

“Jack!” Ethan shouted, his hands gripping his coffee cup to the point of his knuckles turning white and his palms hurting. “Jack, wouldn’t have wanted me to be homeless.”

“You can always come back east with me.” His father sure would have loved that wouldn’t he? “Christine and I have more than enough room.”

“I’m good, thanks.” He hadn’t wanted to live with his step-mother when he was 14 and had just lost his mom in the worse way possible. He hadn’t wanted to live with her when he was 16 and found out he was getting a baby sister. And he sure as fuck didn’t want to live with her now.

“I’m trying to help you out here son.” His father had never done anything in his favor, not once, not in his entire life. Even when he had gotten beat up at school because he didn’t have a lunch for a whole week straight because his mom couldn’t get out of bed and his dad was off shacking up with some other woman, his father hadn’t taken his side. He had said that it was good that he got knocked down a few pegs. He had been seven, he didn’t really have many pegs to be knocked down by.

“I don’t want your help dad. I’m doing just fine on my own.” And that was true, he was doing fine. He had this house and his bike and his Jeep and Jack’s Corvette that he swore he would one day finish. He had Leanne and Ariel and Jesse and Noa and Mario. He had a good job and he couldn’t complain about his health. He didn’t need his father’s help. Not when he was seven, and certainly not now. “I just want a place to live. This place, this house, it’s all I have left of him. You took everything else away from me. Everything except this house and that flag. I’m just asking you leave me be. Please.”

“Son…” He watched as his dad took a few more steps toward him, his eyes doing their best to soften as he tried to seem sympathetic.

“No! You don’t get to son me. Not now. Not after everything!” He heard the bedroom door down the hall open and he prayed that Leanne just stayed back. Just long enough for him to get his dad out of the house. Just long enough for him to put himself back together. “Please just leave dad. Go back to North Carolina. Go back to your perfect wife and your perfect kids and your perfect house and just leave me be. You haven’t wanted anything to do with me for 20 years, why start now?”

“Because losing your brother made me realize that I didn’t wanna lose you too Ethan.” His dad almost sounded sincere, almost, but then he was balling his fists against his side and Ethan knew that if there was ever a time for his father to strike him, now would probably be it.

“Well it’s a little late for that dad.” He whispered, his eyes catching Leanne’s as she stopped in her tracks at the edge of the hallway. He could see the tears in her eyes, the way her bottom lip was trembling as she watched him fall apart. He guessed that she had probably heard every word that had been spoken between them.

“Ethan…” His dad stepped another stop forward but then Leanne was stepping into the small kitchen and her footsteps were anything but quiet as she stopped behind him.

“Get out.” Her words were firm and her voice was strong and Ethan felt his heart start racing when his father turned around, his eyebrow raising at the addition of a new voice to the conversation.

“Excuse me?” His question was harsh and before Ethan knew it his bare feet were carrying him across the space and he was putting himself between them, his right arm going behind him to still Leanne. He knew she was in fight mode and while he trusted his father not to hit him, he didn’t trust him to not strike her. And if he so much as laid a finger on her, he would kill him. Point blank, right there in his kitchen, and he wouldn’t regret it for a second.

“Dad please. Just go.” His voice was as soft as he could get it given the circumstances and when he felt Leanne’s hand grip his tightly behind his back he got the strength that he needed to continue. “We need to get Ariel from her friend’s house.”

“I’ll go with you.” He crossed his arms over his chest, his gaze never leaving Leanne’s. He could only imagine the face she was giving him, probably one that would kill lesser men.

“Like hell you will.” He snapped. He wasn’t about to let this version of his father anywhere near his little girl.

“You need to let me into your life.” He actually chuckled at the older man’s words and when his father’s eyes grew dark once more he guessed that that probably wasn’t the smartest choice he had ever made.

“I don’t need to do anything.” He said sternly, his feet bracing themselves against the floor. He was ready for a fight and he didn’t care anymore that punching his old man might go over poorly with the brunette behind him. “Especially not when it comes to you and my daughter.”

“I want to get to know them Ethan. To get to know you.” He could practically feel Leanne rolling her eyes behind him, her hand squeezing his once more as she willed him to stay strong. “We have a lot of lost time to make up for.”

“Your choice dad, not mine.” He whispered. “Now please. I’m gonna be late and the last thing I need right now is a lecture.”

“From who? Your kid?” His father’s line of questioning was heading in a direction that he knew he couldn’t let Leanne hear. He knew that he would tell him to just beat the life out of her, that that would make her think twice about talking back to her old man.

“She hates it when we’re late.” He lied, Ariel didn’t really give a shit if they were late, as long as they picked her up, and even more so if they were together.

“She got a mouth on her?” The question was stupid, she was a teenager, of course she had a mouth on her. And she spent the majority of her time surrounded by him and Mario. The fact that she didn’t cuss like a sailor at this point was a small victory.

“She’s fourteen, of course.” Leanne’s reply was shocking and Ethan tightened his grip on her hand as she moved to stand beside him.

“I hope she isn’t disrespectful to you.” His father’s eyes shifted to him this time and he knew damn well that he didn’t care if Ariel cussed Leanne up and down. But God forbid she was disrespectful to her father. That was a cardinal sin in Jack, Sr.’s book, one punishable by being emotionally beat down and sent to bed without dinner. “Let me have a word with her.”

“See, there you go dad. Making yourself seem even more ugly then before.” He knew his words were harsh and he knew that he had never stood up to his father like this before in his life. Not even when it came to Jack. But he would be damned if this man was going to attack his daughter. “She’s fourteen, she’s allowed to have an attitude every now and then. And she’s allowed to think I’m mean and unfair and she’s allowed to argue back. It’s part of being a kid. It’s part of growing up.” He knew what to expect when he got involved with Ariel. He knew she was a tough critic and that she needed the extra care and attention. He expected backlash, he expected attitude and cussing and rebellion. In fact, it was one of the reasons that Leanne had asked him to help out in the first place. “And I’m not gonna push her away and try to ‘toughen her up’ and risk losing her. She is my entire world and I am not going to give up on her. Not like you did to me. And certainly not like you did to Jack.”

“Ethan…” His father stepped forward once more but Ethan squared his shoulders and stepped forward to meet him. And he stared him down, his gray eyes hard and focused as he used every ounce of self control that he had not to deck the old man.

They stood that way for a few minutes, him staring at his father and his father staring back at him. He felt Leanne’s grip on his hand tighten and then loosen and then tighten again. But when he refused to fire back, when he refused to give his father what he wanted, he turned around and left, his long legs carrying him out the door with a huff, the door slamming shut behind him.

“Goodbye dad.” He whispered, his eyes watching as the man backed his truck out of the driveway and down the small road leading up to the house. He took a deep breath, his hand releasing Leanne’s as he scrubbed at his face harshly. He had never been so happy to see him go, and yet, he had never been so terrified to watch him leave.


	30. Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ariel didn’t know what was going on with Ethan and Leanne, but it had been a long time since she had seen them this happy together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *I’ve been legit struggling to write lately, both because my muse has apparently taken a vacation, but also because there have been some major changes in my life and I just haven’t had the time. I’m gonna do my best to get at least two chapters out per episode from here on out (if not more) but I apologize if I don’t. So just bear with me! (ALSO this past episode gave me a lot of separate ideas, but not a whole lot that I could string together, so that probably didn’t help!)

Ariel was shocked, Leanne was never late. Never. And when her phone buzzed in her pocket she had immediately pulled it out. But instead of it being a text from Leanne, it was Ethan. The text told her that he was running a little late but that he would be there as soon as he could. She was surprised, Leanne had told her repeatedly that it would be her that picked her up from school that day, especially since they had plans to go to the mall and then dinner that afternoon. She had thanked him for letting her know and had made her way over to the benches, taking a seat as she waited for the man to arrive.

Which he did, fifteen minutes later, but when he pulled up, Ariel had been shocked to see him driving Leanne’s car instead of his. It wasn’t something that had always shocked her, in fact, when Leanne and Ethan were hot and heavy they would often trade off vehicles, especially if one of them was at work or if one of the cars needed some kind of repair. But now, now that he and Leanne were at their wits end with each other, it was definitely not something she expected. 

Sighing, she made her way toward him, giving him a small wave as she climbed into the backseat as he indicated. At first she thought he was just being silly, she never sat in the backseat when it was just the two of them. But when she climbed inside she almost felt her jaw hit the floor when she realized the reason why. Ethan wasn’t alone. Rather, Leanne was seated in the passenger seat, her eyes covered by her sunglasses and a smile on her face. Ariel felt like she had gone back in time five months, back to when her family was still a family.

“What are you two doing?” She asked hesitantly. It’s not that she wasn’t excited that they were back to picking her up together. In fact, she was thrilled. It wasn’t normal to catch the two of them not trying to murder each other these days.

“We’re taking you to the mall.” Leanne muttered softly, her body turning in the seat so that she could face the girl. Ariel was confused, actually, she was beyond confused. 

“Why?” She plopped back against the seat as Ethan let out a soft chuckle, his eyes meeting hers in the rear view. “I mean… why together?”

“We’ll talk about it later sweetie.” Ethan’s voice was gentle and Ariel was surprised to see that neither of them got frustrated with her. 

“Ooookay…” She wasn’t entirely sure what was going on with them, but she was determined to find out before the end of the night.

——

The three had arrived at the mall a few minutes later and they had walked around and shopped and talked like nothing had ever been different. Ariel had even caught Ethan holding Leanne’s hand at one point and she wanted to fuss at them both for hiding whatever was going on with them from her. She had refrained though when Leanne had pointed out something in a store window that caught her eye and the thought had been dropped.

After wandering the mall for a little over an hour Ethan convinced them both that it was time for food. He had made some comment about having skipped lunch and then his eyes darted to Leanne’s quickly and Ariel thought that they must have both skipped lunch, together. That could only have meant one of two things. Either they were both working and never got away. Or, the more likely option at this point in the evening, they had been otherwise, occupied, and had skipped the meal by choice. Ariel didn’t know if she wanted to know the answer to that one.

She had tried to bring up whatever was going on between them at dinner, but they had both distracted her, multiple times. Finally Ethan told her that they could talk about when they got home, that he would feel more comfortable doing so when they were able to have some privacy. At first that had concerned her, but then Leanne just reassured her that it wasn’t exactly the kind of talk you had around people who you didn’t know. 

Dinner had been delicious and the conversation had been pleasant, something Ariel wasn’t used to with both Ethan and Leanne present. And when Ethan had declared that they could even get dessert, Leanne had simply rolled her eyes at him instead of losing her cool. Ariel figured they must have made some kind of progress, otherwise none of this made any sense.

She had showered and changed as soon as they had gotten to Leanne’s and when she emerged from her bedroom a little after 8:00pm she decided that she was going to get to the bottom of this once and for all. Making her way down the hallway she listened out for any signs of the shower still going, but since it was silent in the bedroom she figured that Leanne must have already finished up and must have been getting ready for bed. She threw open the door without knocking, for which she instantly regretted, and she let out a soft scream when her brain finally processed what she saw before her.

For standing in the bathroom doorway was Ethan, clad in only his boxers. And behind him, Leanne, wearing Ethan’s t-shirt and nothing else. And to make matters worse, they were both breathing rather heavily. And the mirror behind them was awfully foggy. Leanne never took showers that were that hot. Ever.

“Oh god!” She finally got her mouth to work but she quickly shut her eyes when she realized that neither one of the adults in front of her were going to move.

“Ariel!” Leanne’s shouting of her name startled her and she quickly snapped her head up, her eyes locking with the older woman’s as she made her way around Ethan with quick but gentle steps.

“I…” She didn’t know what to say. She didn’t know how to react. Sure she had always known that they more than likely showered together before. And sure she was aware of the fact that they were probably having sex with each other. But she had never actually had to see it. It had never actually been made real. At least not until this very moment. “I…”

Leanne stopped in front of her, her hands going to her shoulders as she directed her focus to her and away from Ethan, who, unfortunately, was frozen in his place. “Honey, this is what we wanted to talk to you about.”

“What…” She swallowed as she gathered up the courage to speak, her nerves fraying as she let it all process in her head. “That you two are showering together now?”

Ethan let out a chuckle from across the room and when Leanne snapped her head toward him, her eyes giving him a look that could easily kill, he stopped, his feet shuffling him backward and into the small bathroom, the door closing behind him. Ariel dragged her eyes back toward Leanne and let out a breath as the older woman offered her a soft smile.

“Sweetie, Ethan and I are…” She could tell that Leanne didn’t quite know what to say, that she was struggling to find the words that would make things better.

“Back together?” Ariel whispered. She shifted her hopeful eyes toward the older woman and when Leanne simply nodded her head she couldn’t help the smile that came over her face.

“Yes Ariel,” She squeezed her shoulders then, her eyes twinkling under what Ariel could only describe as tears of joy, “we’re back together.”

“For good?” She barely heard her own voice and when Ethan emerged from the bathroom just in time to hear her words, tears forming in her own eyes, she couldn’t help but shift her gaze toward him.

“That’s certainly the plan Angel.” He said softly, his long legs carrying him toward the two girls.

“So…” She didn’t know what to say. This was all a lot for her. She had gotten so used to them being together before, but then when they broke it off abruptly, it had never quite sunk in that she would have to now be going from one parent to the other. She never liked the idea of two separate households, and she hated the idea of them ‘co-parenting’, which they did a horrible job of. “I… When?” She knew her question was stupid, it had to have happened today. Especially since Jesse had informed her of their fight in the stairwell a few days ago.

“Today.” Leanne whispered, her eyes softening as she glanced toward Ethan. “We talked and we’re both willing to give this a try, again.”

“We want to make this work Ariel.” Ethan’s voice was gentle, gentler than Ariel had heard it in a while, and he offered her a smile as he sat down on the edge of the bed. “For you, and for us.”

“What does this mean?” Ariel doubted that either one of them really knew what it meant either. She guessed that at this point they were probably just focused on being able to kiss each other again.

“It means that things go back to the way they were.” Leanne eyed her softly as she moved to sit next to Ethan. They both stared at her softly, their hands joining together as they linked their fingers against Ethan’s thigh. 

“We’re gonna work on the fighting thing.” Ethan said simply. “And we’re gonna do our best not to shut each other out.”

“So, what does this mean for me?” Ariel could hear her voice crack as she spoke. It’s not that she wasn’t thrilled that they were back together, but a tiny piece of her was worried that she was going to get shoved aside in favor of making this relationship work.

“You still come first love.” It was Leanne’s voice that spoke first, her free hand reaching out for the young girl’s as she offered her a smile. “We’re still going to do everything in your best interest. That doesn’t change.”

“So you’re gonna be around more?” She shifted her gaze to Ethan as she stepped forward. She had missed him being around the past few months. Even when he and Leanne were slightly civil with each other he had seemed to be keeping his distance. And then once Rox came around, and especially after his father came to town, he seemed to forget about her all together.

“Yes Angel.” He said softly, reaching out to take her hand in his. “I’ve always said that I’m here for you if you need me. Now I’m gonna make sure that that’s the case. I promise.”

“No more fighting?” She dropped her head down because she suddenly felt like a small child, caught between her parents in a deadly battle of who loved her more. 

“No more fighting.” Leanne whispered, her fingers tightening their grip around hers. “We’re gonna work on this. Together. All three of us.”

“But we need your help too.” Ethan added, his fingers gripping hers tightly.

“How?” She was curious as to how in the hell she was supposed to stop their fighting when it seemed that half of the time it was about her.

“You gotta keep us in check.” He said softly, a slight humor in his tone as he tugged her closer. 

“Don’t be afraid to tell us we’re getting off track.” Leanne said softly.

“You won’t yell at me?” She asked, her eyes shifting between them as she spoke. “For telling you you’re both being stupid?”

“Nope.” Ethan’s eyes sparkled as he spoke, his lips curling upward into a smile as he released Leanne’s hand. “We need you to keep us grounded.” He pulled her into his lap then, his arms wrapping around her tightly. “You do that for us individually, so now we need you to do it for us together. Okay?”

“Okay.” Ariel whispered, her head falling to Ethan’s shoulder softly. 

“We love you honey, don’t ever forget that.” Leanne’s voice was gentle and her eyes were glistening with another round of tears and Ariel felt her own eyes starting to get watery. She hated that they had all been through so much that past few months.

“I love you guys too.” She whispered, her arms tightening around Ethan’s neck as she offered them both a small smile.

——

The following morning Ariel had awoken to the smell of pancakes and bacon, which could only mean one thing in that household, Ethan was there. Smiling to herself she couldn’t help the happy tears that came to her eyes when she realized that he was back, and for good this time. Not only did she know that Leanne was over the moon about it, but she was thrilled knowing that her favorite man was back in the house again. And back in their lives, for what seemed to be the long haul.

After they had had their talk last night she had crawled into bed with them, much like a small child, and they had watched TV for a while before she and Ethan had both started to doze off. She remembered Leanne laughing at them both and when she had shooed the girl away, telling her it was time for bed, Ariel had made a comment about them behaving themselves. Ethan had told her that he had plans to do no such thing, especially since he had so much time to make up for. She had rolled her eyes at them both before shutting the door behind her with a huff. Luckily, regardless of what they had been doing down the hall, she had fallen asleep almost as soon as her head had hit her pillow.

She was brought out of her thoughts by Leanne’s voice calling her name, declaring that it was ‘eat it or lose it’ time downstairs, and she jumped up out of the bed. There was no way she was letting Ethan eat all the good food without her. Grabbing her robe she wrapped herself up before pulling her phone off the charger and making her way downstairs. She had been a few steps from the breakfast covered table when her phone dinged and she stopped in her tracks when she saw it was a text from Max.

“Morning.” Ethan called to her around a slice of bacon and she rolled her eyes as she moved to grab a glass from the cabinet. “I made breakfast.”

“I know.” She replied softly as she poured herself a cup of orange juice. “I could smell it upstairs.”

“It’s good.” His table manners left something to be desired, especially when she realized that he wasn’t wearing a shirt and was instead dropping bacon crumbs all over his bare chest.

“Would you put a shirt on for Christ’s sake?” Leanne’s laugh from the other end of the table almost caused her to spill her drink and when she plopped down at the table she couldn’t help but chuckle at the stunned look on Ethan’s face. “Or at least chew your food? You look like a toddler who just discovered bacon.”

This time it was Ethan who rolled his eyes and Ariel let out another laugh as her phone dinged again. “Uh uh, no phone’s at the table.” He fussed, his hand going to reach for the device next to her arm. “You know my rule.”

Ariel turned her attention to Leanne, begging for her to save her from Ethan’s ridiculous meal time rules. “Leanne…”

“Nope.” She said pointedly, her eyes shifting back and forth between them both. “It’s a good rule.”

She huffed as she shifted her eyes to the phone that dinged once more. She knew that Max knew she was awake and he normally texted her before school to tell her to have a good day. If she didn’t reply, he would probably think that something was wrong.

“Who’s Max?” Ethan asked softly around a bite of pancake.

“What?” She did a double take at the man’s words, her head snapping upward so that her eyes could meet his.

“Max? Who’s that?” He didn’t skip a beat as he kept taking bites of his pancake, his eyes shifting to Leanne’s as he raised an eyebrow.

“A friend.” Ariel knew for a fact that she had mentioned Max to Ethan before, at least once, if not more, and she was surprised that he hadn’t held onto that knowledge. It wasn’t like him to forget something so important.

“Max is the boy that Ariel met at the hospital a few months ago.” Leanne’s voice was soft and Ariel could tell that she was hoping that Ethan would get it before she had to come right out and say that he was the boy with cancer that Ariel had been spending all her free time with.

“The boy with cancer?” He asked softly, his eyes shifting back to her as he set his fork down.

“Yeah.” She dropped her head down, her eyes misting over as she tried not to think about it. She hated that every conversation that involved Max always had to also involve just how sick he was.

“Oh.” She looked up just in time to see him shrug his shoulders softly, his eyes connecting with Leanne’s once more. “Okay.”

And then he went back to eating as if nothing had ever happened. Ariel watched him for a minute, her brain doing it’s best to process what had just happened in front of her. She expected Ethan to lose his cool over her talking to a boy, especially since he knew just who she was referring to. But instead, he was acting as if it was nothing. She turned her attention to Leanne but the older woman just offered her a soft smile before she herself returned to eating.

“So when do I get to meet this Max kid?” Ethan’s question was asked around a bite of pancake once again and Ariel rolled her eyes as syrup rolled down his chin.

“Never.” She said pointedly as she shook her head.

“That’s not fair.” He said softly, his eyes twinkling with humor.

“You’re embarrassing Ethan.” She let out a soft laugh as he did his best to wipe his chin, but he only succeeded in spreading the syrup even more. “Look at you.”

“Hey now!” He shouted playfully, his hands reaching for his napkin as he shifted his eyes to her. “I’m normally much more composed than this!”

Leanne let out a soft chuckle from across the table and when Ariel looked her way she was surprised to see her laughing along with them. Normally she fussed at them both for acting like children at the table. She was pleased to see that she had some of her sense of humor back, especially with Ethan around.

“Face it Ethan, you’re a dork.” She said softly, her lips curling into a smile at the look on Ethan’s face.

“I’m your father.” He said sharply, despite the glint in his eyes and the smile on his face.

“Doesn’t make you any less of a dork.” He made a pouty face at her statement and she almost felt bad. She knew that Ethan meant well, but she was still nervous to introduce him to Max. The last thing she needed was her father getting involved.

“Oh come on. I’ll be cool.” He offered her a smile as he did his best to act innocent, but Ariel knew better. “I promise.”

“No.” She said matter of factly, her arms crossing over her chest as she stared him down.

“Ariel...” He said softly. “Please?”

“The answer is still ‘no’.” She huffed, her eyes moving to stare at the plate of food in front of her.

“Have you met him?” She saw Leanne let out a chuckle from her place across from him and she knew that Ethan would probably get mad knowing that he had been the only one who didn’t know Max at this point.

“Met who?” Leanne tried to play stupid but Ariel knew that Ethan was bound to see right through her.

“Max.” He stated simply, his arms crossing over his chest much like hers had a minute ago.

“Yes.” She snapped her eyes up just in time to see Leanne offer Ethan a soft smile. She knew that she would try and flirt her way out of this if she had too. It certainly wouldn’t be the first time that Ethan had been distracted by her smile.

“How is that fair?” He pouted again, his attention turning back to the teen. Ariel suddenly felt like she was under a very big spot light.

“It wasn’t exactly planned.” Leanne stated and Ariel was thankful that she didn’t feel the need to offer up any details about how exactly she had met the young man.

“But still. Not fair.” He let out a soft huff as he hung his head. “I wanna meet him. I need to make sure he’s a good kid.”

“Ethan... really.” Leanne said softly, eyes softening as she locked them with Ethan’s. She must have known something that Ariel didn’t, because she didn’t understand why she was being so sympathetic toward him. “He’s a fine young man.”

“I’d like to make that call myself.” He whispered, his eyes breaking from hers to shift to Ariel’s. “I wanna make sure he’s good enough for my little girl.”

“Leanne...” Ariel growled out, her cheeks growing red with embarrassment. She could only imagine how much worse Ethan would be if he ever got to meet Max in person.

“What?” She asked softly as she stood, her plate in her hands and a small smile on her face.

“Make him stop.” She begged. She really just wanted this entire conversation to be over.

“If only I could honey.” Her voice was humorous as she leaned down to press a kiss against Ariel’s head. She then moved to press one to Ethan’s cheek and Ariel couldn’t help but roll her eyes at the two of them. They were so adorable that it was making her sick.

“You’re not gonna date this boy without me ever meeting him.” Ethan stated after a minute of silence.

Ariel did a double take at his statement. “Who said anything about dating him?”

“You asked him to the dance didn’t you?” He raised a curious eyebrow at her and she heard Leanne let out a breath from her place at the sink. She guessed that maybe he wasn’t supposed to bring that up.

“And he said ‘no’.” She said softly, her eyes misting over once more. She honestly didn’t know why she cared so much about that damn dance anyway. It’s not like she really wanted to go.

“I hear he asked you out for ice cream instead.” Ethan’s statement caused her to snap her head up, her eyes shifting toward Leanne as she felt a slight twinge of anger boiling inside her.

“You told him?” She snapped, her hands going to the table as she resisted the urge to scream.

“Not me!” Leanne held her hands up defensively and Ariel knew immediately that she couldn’t have been at fault. Even if she did tell him she knew that Ethan would never have thrown her under the bus like that.

“It was Mario actually.” Ethan whispered. “He was afraid you were gonna corner him for more advice.”

“Ugh. Why can’t I just have a normal family?” She groaned, her eyes falling shut as her head tilted backward in the chair. “You know, one that doesn’t feel it’s necessary to share every detail with each other.”

“Where would be the fun in that?” Leanne asked softly, her hands going to Ethan’s shoulders as she moved to stand behind him. She knew that the older woman had a point. She loved her ridiculous family, even if they did drive her insane.

“But seriously.” Ethan’s tone changed to one of seriousness and Ariel felt her body stiffen up at his words. She knew that he meant business when he used that tone with her. Jesse liked to call it his ‘dad’ voice and it hadn’t taken Ethan very long to perfect it. “When do I get to meet him?”

“I…” She didn’t know how to respond. She didn’t want Max and Ethan to meet. Not because she didn’t trust Max to not get her in trouble. And certainly not because she didn’t trust Ethan to not keep his cool around the younger man. No, rather, she didn’t want them to meet because it was entirely too normal. “I don’t know.”

Ethan let out a soft sigh as he let his arms drop from around his chest, moving them forward so that he could take her hands in his. “If it makes you that uncomfortable sweetie, it’s fine. As long as Leanne approves than that’s all that matters.” He almost sounded hurt and Ariel could tell that he was feeling some kind of way about all this. She just wasn’t exactly sure how to peg this specific emotion. It certainly wasn’t one that she had seen in him before.

“It’s okay.” She whispered, her heart fluttering in her chest. She honestly didn’t know why she cared so much. It’s not like she didn’t know that this day would ever come. 

Except, in reality, she never expected it to. Not after she lost her mom, and then her dad. Not when she had been sent to live with her aunt and she had been neglected and sent from home to home. Not when she was constantly in trouble and on the run. She never in a million years imagined that she would have a place to call home again. That she would have two parents who cared about her so much. She never thought that she would have a father who cared about meeting her boyfriends. Or a mother who cared about whether or not she did her homework. In fact, she still had a hard time believing that she even had a mother and a father who loved her as much as Ethan and Leanne did.

“Hey, Angel.” She realized then that she had started to cry and she shook her head back and forth trying to fight off her tears. “It’s okay.” He reached forward then, tugging her up from her seat as he stood from his as well, pulling her into his arms with a soft sigh. 

“Sorry.” She whispered softly, her arms tightening around him as Leanne’s hand rubbed circles on her back. She hadn’t expected this topic to get her so screwed up.

“It’s fine Ariel.” He whispered, his lips pressing a soft kiss against her head. “Why don’t you get ready for school?” He asked quietly, his arms pushing her away so that he could look her in the eyes. “We can talk about this later okay? I’ll pick you up from school and we can talk before your shift starts?”

She nodded her head then, her body moving itself back against his chest with a soft sniffle. She wished more than anything that she could just stay home today. She knew that they both had the day off and she would have given anything to have just been at home with them. After her realization about everything that she had been feeling lately she just wanted to cry it all out.

“Go on.” He pushed her away again gently, offering her a soft smile. “Can’t have you being late.”

She nodded her head once more before she pulled from his arms and made her way upstairs. She could make out their voices talking softly downstairs and she wanted nothing more than to know what they were saying. But she knew that eavesdropping wasn’t nice and that they were more than likely talking about her. And she honestly didn’t know if she wanted to know how they felt about her right now. Sighing, she made her way into the small bathroom to get ready, her hands shaking as she closed the door behind her.

She was incredibly thankful that they were back together, and that they seemed to be working things out, because she needed them more than she had ever needed anyone. And more importantly, she needed them together, more than anything. They were better when they were together. Stronger, happier, more loving and caring, and even gentler. They brought out a side of each other that Ariel imagined they had both locked away a long time ago. A side that Ariel loved in each of them, but even more, she loved that side of them together.


	31. Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ethan knows that Rox can’t ignore him forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *So I ship Ethan/Rox hardcore and I hate myself for it, but Ethan/Leanne are endgame, so no worries about these two getting back together. However, they are going to be friends, mainly because I can’t see Ethan just letting this friendship go to the wayside. (Also, I just watched these week’s episode and I have, at least, 3 new chapter’s outlined. So be on the lookout for one no later than Saturday night!)

Ethan watched as Rox walked quietly out of Angels after having spent the evening talking to her old step coach. He had been surprised when she had talked to him in the ambulance earlier, that she had confided in him about what had happened to her when she was a teenager. It had been the first time in a month that they had spoken to each other, save for a few angry texts from her and a few apologetic ones from him. 

He knew that he had screwed up. He never should have gotten involved with her in the first place. She was a disaster waiting to happen. And not because she was a bad person or anything of the sort, but because he knew for a fact that she was going to get between him and Leanne and Ariel. And he knew that nothing but trouble would come from that.

And while he and Leanne had made up, many, many times in fact, and he was quite certain that he would never leave her side again, there was a nagging feeling in his gut that told him that he needed to make things right with Rox too. She was a good friend and he had come to enjoy working with her over the past few months. He didn’t want to lose his chance to be out in the field just because of what happened between them. He hoped that she would be just as willing to at least be friends.

“You okay?” He asked softly as he approached her. He had followed a few steps behind her as she left the building and he had let out a sigh when she took a seat on one of the benches in the wooded area by the parking lot. That had been the first place they had really ‘clicked’ and they had met each other there many a night after shit while they were together.

“Yeah. Why?” She snapped her eyes up to meet his and he could see the anger radiating in them. He wasn’t sure if that was aimed at him, or at the world in general, but either way, it made his heart hurt little knowing that something was upsetting her so much. “You’ve been awfully concerned with my well being today.”

“You just seem, off.” And she did. She had been quiet, stand-offish even, and he still hadn’t found out why exactly she had agreed to let him ride along with her again. “It’s concerning.”

“Well, sorry.” She barked out, her head falling back down so that her eyes avoided his as she let out a soft sigh.

“No need to apologize.” He stuffed his hands in the pockets of his jeans, his right foot kicking against the ground with a huff. He still had two hours before he had to get Ariel from school, and another five hours before Leanne’s shift was over. He figured that standing here making small talk with her wouldn’t be the end of the world. “Just making sure you’re alright.”

“I’m fine.” Her voice was harsh, but quiet, and Ethan guessed that that anger that he saw in her eyes earlier must have been aimed at him.

“Okay.” He whispered, his eyes shifting around the wooded area. He prayed that no one saw them talking, especially since he hadn’t had the chance to tell Leanne yet that he was going to talk to her. They had agreed to be more honest with each other, more open, and he knew that word would get around fast if he and Rox made up some and he didn’t talk to her about it. He also knew that if she told him to back off, he would. He wasn’t about to risk losing her, or Ariel, again. Nothing was worth that.

“Okay.” She whispered back, her elbows falling to her knees as she placed her head in her hands. 

“So earlier...” He knew he probably shouldn’t bring up the fact that he been trying his damnedest to get her attention all morning. 

“I thought we were done talking.” Her words were harsh and Ethan couldn’t help but feel like he had been stabbed in the heart a little. He really did want to go back to being friends. He wanted to make things right.

“No...” She may have been done talking, but he was nowhere close.

“Well can we be?” Her question caught him off guard and he let out an almost chuckle.

“What’s up with you?” He removed his hands from his pockets, crossing them over his chest in a defensive manner. He knew that he shouldn’t be getting upset with her, she had every right to not want to talk to him after all. “You’ve been snippy with me all day? Did I do something?”

“Oh I don’t know Ethan.” Her head lifted upward so that their eyes could connect once more and he felt his heart stop beating in his chest at the look on her face. She looked so hurt, so broken, so betrayed. “I suppose you getting me involved in a screaming match with your ex-girlfriend and your teenage daughter doesn’t constitute as something now does it?”

“I’ve apologized a hundred times for that Rox.” And he had, over and over and over again. He had blown her phone up for days on end, telling her how sorry he was for everything. He hated that he had ruined their friendship over this. “I’m sorry. I never meant for it to get so out of control.”

“And yet...” She was awfully snappy today and Ethan couldn’t help but roll his eyes at the tone in her voice. He felt more like he was arguing with Ariel than a grown woman.

“Look Rox, please. I didn’t mean to mess things up like that.” And he really hadn’t. He had never meant for any of this to happen actually. “I didn’t know it would get so heated.”

“You made your choice Ethan.” He barely heard her words but there they were, quiet and soft, and her eyes were filling with tears. He didn’t realize that she seemed to miss him so much. That she was so hurt by all of this. He never would have guessed that she cared that much. “Why are we even having this talk?”

“Because I miss you.” He wasn’t lying when he said that. She had been a great friend, even before they had started sleeping together. And he missed having someone that he felt comfortable opening up to, someone that he could laugh with and be stupid with. Sure he could do those things with Leanne, but up until the past few days it had always felt forced. 

“Bullshit.” She practically yelled at him, her face going red as she stood from her spot.

“I do. I’ve had a month to think about things.” And he had done nothing but think about things, especially before he and Leanne had gotten back together a few days ago. Back before Ariel was back in his life and his dad had vanished into thin air, yet again. “I don’t wanna lose you Rox. You’re a great friend...”

“Friend? That’s all I was to you?” Her eyes grew wide at his words and he backed up a few steps, his hands going out in front of him as he tried to calm her. The last thing he needed was her getting the attention of everyone currently leaving the swing shift.

“No! It’s just, I thought maybe we could go back to being friends.” He spoke softly, praying that he could get her to stop shouting. “That we could start over?”

“And where does Leanne stand in all of this?” He wondered what Leanne had to do with this. Sure they had their issues in the past, but Leanne couldn’t expect him to not be friends with people. And surely Rox couldn’t expect him to stay away from his family. “Are you two back together?”

“Yes.” He stated simply, his arms falling in front of him as he let out a sigh. “We’re back together.”

“When?” Her question didn’t make sense to him. When what? What was she trying to figure out?

“When what?” He asked as he brought a hand up to rub at his face. This conversation wasn’t supposed to go like this. He and Rox had never had a fight before. Never.

“When did you get back together?” She asked quietly, her eyes softening as she shifted from foot to foot. “Was it the day after the fight? A week later? Were you secretly still together all along and she just caught on to you being an idiot?”

“Thursday.” He whispered. It was currently Monday. Surely the fact that four days had gone by had to mean something. “We got back together on Thursday.”

“Do you love her?” She whispered her question after a few minutes of silence and he did a double take at her question. He didn’t understand what him loving Leanne had to do with anything.

“Yes.” He whispered back. 

“Than why should we be friends?” She almost sounded hurt by his response, like there was something about him loving another woman that meant that they couldn’t also be friends. “Why should I give you a second chance?”

“I don’t know Rox.” He really wasn’t sure why he deserved another chance. But he really wanted her to give him one. He didn’t want to lose her friendship, not when he seemed to not have many allies at Angels right now. Jesse was still angry at him about their fight in the stairwell and Noa and Mario weren’t too keen on him either after they found out about his epic fight on the front steps. He guessed that Leanne hadn’t gotten around to mentioning to them that they had made up. “I don’t know why, okay. Maybe because I like you, as a friend, we were good at that part too remember?”

“So there’s no chance that you and Leanne are going to break up again?” He could hear the jealousy in her tone. He could read it in her eyes and it was etched all over her face. He guessed that he maybe deserved that after everything he had put her through. 

“I don’t see it happening, ever.” And he didn’t, at least not for a very long time. And if they did, it would be because it was what she wanted. But as for him, he was happy with her, and that was never going to change. 

He loved her, more than he had ever loved another woman in his entire life, and he couldn’t fathom being without her. The almost five months that they had been apart had been the worst of his life. Even with Rox by his side, he constantly craved Leanne’s touch, constantly missed her. It was her that he wanted to comfort him after a rough day at work. He wanted to make breakfast for her in the mornings, to kiss her slowly as he argued with her over whether or not they should just stay in bed all day. He may have had feelings for Rox, and he may have been attracted to her, but in hindsight, he had never loved her, even when part of him had wanted too. And he had certainly never had the desire to marry her, to have a family with her, not like he did with Leanne. No, there was no one but Leanne that he wanted to spend the rest of his life annoying.

“And Ariel?” Her question about his daughter snapped him out of his thoughts. Ariel had been over the moon having the two of them back together. And after having spent all weekend with just her and Leanne, doing things that a normal family would do, he never wanted to go back. He never wanted to lose his daughter again, ever.

“She’s our daughter Rox.” He couldn’t help the smile that came over his face at his words. He had never been more proud to say those words. “She’s not going anywhere.”

“And us being friends isn’t going to affect that?” He honestly didn’t think it would be an issue. As long as he was careful and he made it very clear what his intentions were from the beginning. 

“No Rox.” He let out a soft sigh, this conversation had drained him and it was most certainly not how he had envisioned spending his afternoon. “We’re friends. That’s it. It’s never going to be more than that. And if you can’t handle that, that’s fine. I get it, one hundred percent. But I know that us working together, us being a team, is the best option for our patients. It’s where I wanna be and I have a feeling it’s what you want to be doing too.

She let out a breath at his words and he watched as her shoulders slumped downward, her eyes blinking a few times as she processed what he had said. He enjoyed working with her, he wasn’t going to lie to anyone about that. She balanced him out when they were in the field, just like Leanne had always done, and continued to do, in Center Stage. They were a good team, whether she liked it or not.

“We do make a good team don’t we?” She whispered, her eyes moving up to catch his. He was surprised to hear those words leave her mouth. He honestly didn’t think the day would ever come where she agreed with him on their ability to succeed in the field.

“Yes, yes we do.” He offered her a soft smile then, hoping that her realization would be enough for her to consider his offer.

“Fine.” She said softly, her arms dropping to her sides as she offered him the smallest of smiles. “We can try, to be, friends…”

“Thank you.” He smiled back at her, laughing when she rolled her eyes at his excitement.

“But don’t get too excited.” She pointed a finger at him with her words and he almost felt like she was going to drop a bomb on him. “This causes drama,” She moved that same hand back and forth between them as her face got serious once more, “if it hurts Leanne or Ariel. If they feel uncomfortable about this. I want out. I don’t wanna be responsible for tearing your family apart, again. Deal?”

“Deal.” He reached out and took her hand, shaking it gently. He knew exactly what she meant, that she was trying to protect herself just as much as she was him and his girls. He was thankful for that, for the fact that she wasn’t being entirely selfish in all of this. “You won’t regret it, I promise.”

“We’ll see about that.” She replied with a chuckle, her eyes twinkling in the afternoon light. He was thankful that she was willing to give him a shot, because he if he was being honest, he had missed her friendship more than he thought he would.


	32. Young Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ethan wasn’t quite ready for his little girl to be dating anyone, but he supposed that if it had to be someone, Max was a good enough choice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *I so want to see Ethan’s reaction to Ariel/Max and it kills me that they literally squashed any hope of them having a relationship of any kind. I could totally see him being a jokester about it too, picking on her constantly but then also giving Max a very stern and warning chat. So since we won’t get that on the show, here’s my attempt at making that possible. ***Spoilers for 3x08***

Ariel had been surprised to see Leanne and Ethan round the corner toward Max’s room, together. Sure she knew that they were back together, they had spent every night with each other since, but it was still shocking to see. Especially when she made note of the way Ethan’s hand was pressed against the small of Leanne’s back. And the smile on her pseudo mother’s face left very little question as to the fact that they were indeed, together.

Leanne had told her that they needed to leave, but she had begged for more time, as much time as she could possibly get. And when the older woman had granted her five more minutes, she had been eternally grateful. She had expected Ethan to jump in, to say something dumb or to try and introduce himself to Max, but instead, he kept his distance, allowing Leanne to handle the girl herself. 

When her five minutes had turned into ten she couldn’t help but laugh as Leanne gently tugged her away from Max’s bedside, one last longing goodbye leaving her lips. She saw the smile on Ethan’s face brighten when the pair stopped in front of him and when he threw his arm around her shoulders, guiding her slowly down the hallway, she felt herself snuggling into his embrace. She had missed him being around like this the past five months and she wanted nothing more than for him to stay put, right where he was.

“Who was that?” His question was soft but it still startled her. She really figured he would have gotten the hang of this by now. Surely he wasn’t still confused about the fact that she was seeing the boy she had just spent ten minutes trying to say ‘goodbye’ too.

“That was Max.” She stated pointedly. “Have you seriously not been paying attention to anything I’ve said the past few months?”

“Wait? That was Max?” He stopped in his tracks, causing her to stumble next to him. She heard Leanne let out a soft chuckle as she stopped beside them, her hand going to Ethan’s shoulder gently. “And you didn’t introduce us? I’m hurt.”

“Sorry.” She whispered, her head falling forward. She honestly wasn’t intentionally keeping the two from meeting, it was just that there was so much going on that it was the last thing on her mind. “Not exactly where my mind was at.”

“Is he okay?” He asked softly, his body turning toward hers as he glanced down the hall, his eyes stopping on the boy who was already falling asleep.

“He passed out earlier.” She could barely get the words out and when Ethan’s hand reached out to grip hers she felt the tears threatening to fall. She hated this. She hated being vulnerable in front of them. She knew it was crazy, that this was what she was supposed to do, that if there was anyone in this world she should be vulnerable in front of it was her parents. But it was still hard. She still wasn’t used to having that kind of support in her life. “He started having trouble breathing. His dad says it happens all the time.”

“Ariel was there you know.” Leanne piped in and when Ethan’s eyes went wide, his attention turning from the young boy to her and then back again she felt her heart start to race. She wasn’t sure how Ethan felt about her being alone with the boy but she imagined he was probably not to fond of the idea. “She saved his life.”

“All I did was call for help.” Her voice was barely a whisper and she felt Ethan’s hand tighten around hers.

“I’m sure you did more than that kid.” He whispered back, pulling her toward him and into his open arms. She loved that he didn’t shy away from showing her affection and support, especially when she needed it the most.

“Can we stop talking about it now?” She sniffled out after a minute. She was tired of the focus being on her and she just wanted to go home and rest. “Please?”

“Of course Angel.” Ethan whispered against her head, his lips pressing a soft kiss to her hair. “Let’s go get some dinner.”

She heard Leanne let out a soft sigh as she watched the two start walking down the hallway and she cast a backward glance at her. She smiled then, a smile that actually reached her eyes, and Ariel felt her heart swell at the way she responded to seeing the two of them together again. She imagined that was probably the same goofy smile she made when she saw Leanne and Ethan together after all this time.

——

They had decided on getting sandwiches to go from their favorite little deli and had driven down to their favorite little spot by the beach. The place was deserted when they arrived and Ethan had dragged a blanket out of the back of the Jeep and down to a spot by the water. Ariel had been surprised to see that Leanne didn’t seem the least bit phased by the spontaneity of it all. Normally she would have questioned their ridiculous actions, stating that dinner should be eaten at a table, not on the ground. But instead she smiled and laughed right along them, and she had even been daring enough to slip off her shoes and roll her jeans up, allowing the warm ocean water to wash over her feet.

Ariel had watched with almost wondrous eyes as Ethan had willingly wrapped his arms around Leanne’s waist, his face nuzzling against her neck as he whispered something to her that made her laugh. She had never seem them this comfortable with each other, not even before the breakup and the fight and everything with Rox. She had been hesitant when Leanne had waved her over, telling her that she was missing all the fun, but then Ethan had echoed her pleas for her to join them and she couldn’t help but take off at a slow run toward them.

They had stayed down by the water long enough to watch the sunset and when she had felt herself dozing off against Ethan’s shoulder he had muttered how it was time to get his girls home. She had smiled brightly at his words, he hadn’t said anything like that in months, and it made her heart start to race in her chest. They had packed up their belongings and headed for the Jeep just as Leanne’s phone had rung. They all let out a sigh, knowing just what that meant for them. But then Leanne had reassured them that she wouldn’t be long and that they should both go home and sleep. She must have dozed off again in the car because the next thing she knew they were pulling into Leanne’s driveway, sans Leanne, and Ethan was cutting off the engine with a huff.

She had showered and retreated to her room after bidding the man a quiet goodnight and she could tell that she wasn’t the only one who was frustrated with Leanne being pulled away from them when they were having such a good time. She had fallen asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow, her body finally giving in to the mental and emotional exhaustion of the day and relaxing against the soft mattress. But when she woke up a few hours later she felt everything but relaxed.

Her whole body was shaking and she could feel the tears pouring from her eyes, her brain still fighting off the horrible nightmare she had just escaped. Sitting up quickly, she glanced around the room, doing her best to get her bearings so that she could hopefully calm down. She was sure that Ethan had probably heard her, especially since she was pretty sure that she had let out a scream, and the last thing she wanted was to try and explain to him what had happened.

After waiting a few minutes she realized that he wasn’t going to come after her, and she felt a pang in her chest at the thought. She wanted him to come after her. She wanted him to come comfort her. She wondered then if maybe he had actually been asleep and he truly hadn’t heard her screams. Glancing down at her phone she realized that it was much later than she thought and she let out a sigh. 3:45am stared back at her and she knew now why Ethan must have stayed put in bed. The poor man was probably asleep, his body probably still overwhelmed from the events of the day.

Letting at a soft sob she pulled herself up out of the bed and made her way down the hall toward her bathroom. When she emerged a minute later she could make out the sounds of Ethan’s soft snores coming from the direction of the master bedroom and she hesitated. She wanted to go to him, she needed him, but she also knew that he needed his rest just as much as she did. Another sob racked her body and she decided that if all else failed, at least she could try and sleep in the room with him, his presence alone would surely be enough to calm her back to sleep.

She pushed the bedroom door open quietly, sighing when she saw him shift onto his back, his eyes opening at the sound. He probably thought that it was Leanne finally coming home from work. He was probably expecting her to crawl into bed with him, not her. She couldn’t help the gentle sob that left her mouth once more and she froze when he turned his attention toward her.

“What’s wrong Angel?” He whispered his question as his eyes locked with hers, his arms pushing his body into a sitting position.

“Nothing.” She choked out. She hated feeling like such a burden to him.

“You’re crying,” His voice was soft as he patted the space on the bed next to him, his eyes begging for her to come see him, “obviously something’s wrong.”

“I just…” She didn’t even know what to say. Did she tell him that she had a nightmare? She was fourteen for Christ’s sake, she shouldn’t still need her daddy when she had a bad dream. “I’m worried.”

“About Max?” He asked quietly, his lips turning upward into a soft smile as she started moving toward the bed. 

“How did you know?” She really didn’t know how he seemed to know what was bothering her. Especially when earlier today he seemed to have forgotten who Max was all together.

“Call it father’s intuition.” His reply was gentle and she sank down onto the bed next to him, her head falling against his shoulder as he pulled the covers over her legs.

“He’s really sick isn’t he?” She hadn’t bothered to ask any questions of Max about just how sick he was. She figured he probably got those questions all the time and she didn’t want to bombard him with them any more.

“I don’t know hun,” Ethan wrapped an arm around her shoulders then, tucking her against his side as he pressed a kiss to her head, “I know nothing about what he has.”

“You’re telling me you haven’t read his file?” She was shocked to be honest. She knew Ethan well enough to know that he was rather nosy, despite what people thought. He was also rather sneaky, and he could get away with most anything, especially if he flashed Leanne that smile.

“Leanne told me that that would be a bit of overkill.” He let out a soft chuckle as he leaned back against the headboard.

“I’m surprised you listened.” She whispered her reply and when she felt his arm tighten around her shoulders a little more she guessed that maybe he was surprised that he listened as well.

“I’ve been trying to do more of that here lately.” She shifted her eyes up toward him at his statement and she could see a look of honesty and respect there that she hadn’t seen in a long time.

“I’ve noticed.” And she had noticed, especially when it came to Leanne. He was trying really hard to stay on her good side and Ariel had noted how he had been much gentler with not just his actions toward the woman, but also his words. The way he had handled her earlier, with the gentle touches, the soft whispers, and the kisses she was sure he thought she hadn’t seen, were a giant indicator that he was trying to make things right with them.

“So you’re worried about Max…” His statement brought her out of her thoughts and she couldn’t help the small shiver that left her body. “Any particular thing you’re worried about?”

“I just don’t want anything to happen to him.” She choked out her reply and she felt another round of tears threatening to fall. She snuggled closer to Ethan, her arms going to wrap around his waist as she buried her face against his shoulder.

“I know love.” He whispered, his head falling down to rest against hers as he pressed several kisses against her hair. “I don’t want that either.”

They sat in silence for a few minutes, her sobbing softly against the material of his shirt, him hushing her quietly as he rubbed her back with his right hand. There was so much that she wanted to say to him, so much that she wanted to tell him, especially about Max. But she didn’t know if she could. Sure, they had a great relationship, probably better than most teenagers and their father’s did. But she was still reserved about what exactly she could count on him for and what she couldn’t. Sighing, she pulled free from his embrace so that she could wipe at her eyes. She felt his hand still against her back as she took a few deep breaths, she figured it was now or never.

“We kissed you know?” She asked softly, her eyes staying focused on her hands as she dropped them to her lap.

“Excuse me?” Okay, so maybe she shouldn’t have brought that topic up.

“Earlier. Before he collapsed.” She tried to keep her voice steady, tried not to panic at the conversation that was taking place right now, but she could tell that she was failing. “Well, not right before, but a few hours before.”

“You kissed?” His question was softer than she expected, and when he brushed her hair aside and tugged her back toward him she wondered if maybe she had underestimated just how much he really loved her. “What kind of kiss?”

“What do you mean what kind of kiss?” She didn’t understand his question and when she lifted her head up so that her eyes could meet his she guessed that maybe he figured she was a little lost. “We kissed. That’s it.”

“So it was innocent?” He raised an eyebrow at her as he offered her a soft smile. “No tongue or anything?”

“Oh God Ethan, stop.” She couldn’t believe he would even bring that up to her.

“Hey I’m just making sure this boy isn’t getting too fresh with my little girl.” He poked her nose gently as he winked at her and she knew that he was just joking. She appreciated that he didn’t seem to take the conversation too seriously. If he had started hounding her about it, or had gotten mad at her, she probably would have lost all control of her emotions.

“It was actually me who kissed him.” She hoped that her statement wouldn’t send him into overdrive but guessing by the look on his face he was more shocked than anything else.

“Whaaat?” She couldn’t help but laugh at the way his eyes got wide and his face started to lose some of his color. 

“Well, he tried to kiss me earlier, but I ran away.” She shrugged her shoulders at her statement, like it was the most innocent thing in the world. Ethan just shook his head at her statement, his eyes falling closed as he leaned back against the headboard once more. “Emily said I should take charge. So I did.”

“Who’s Emily?” His eyes snapped open with his question and she let out another chuckle at the look on his face when she replied back.

“Will’s daughter.” She said matter of factly.

“Will know that his daughter is giving you advice about kissing?” She guessed that there was probably a lot that Dr. Campbell didn’t know about his daughter. But it surely wasn’t her place to tell Ethan that.

“Probably not.” She leaned back against him as he let out a soft sigh. She figured he was probably done with this conversation now that he knew his daughter was running around kissing a boy.

“So you kissed him first?” He whispered after a few minutes, his arm having tightened it’s grip around her shoulders once more.

“Yeah.” She said softly, her eyes shifting up to meet his. She expected him to be angry about the whole thing, but his eyes were soft and he offered her a gentle smile before continuing.

“He wasn’t a jerk about it was he?” She wondered what in the world he meant by that because she couldn’t imagine Max being a jerk. Even after he blew her off about the whole dance thing, she hadn’t taken him that seriously, especially after he explained to her his reasons. “He didn’t try to push you away? Or put his hands anywhere they don’t belong?”

“No Ethan,” She sighed softly, her head settling back against his shoulder. “he was quite the gentlemen about it.”

“Good.” He whispered, his lips pressing another kiss to her head as he let out a breath she hadn’t known he was holding. Although, in hindsight, she figured he had plenty of reason to be worried. She knew that guys could be complete jerks, and that sometimes they took advantage of young girls like her, but she knew better when it came to Max. She hoped that Ethan would trust her enough to do the same.

“So you’re not mad?” She whispered her question against his shirt sleeve and she held her breath as she waited for his response.

“Mad at what?” Although, she realized, if he was going to get mad about it, he probably would have done it by now.

“I kissed a boy.” She wondered if he had been paying attention during any of this conversation. He was her father, wasn’t he supposed to get upset at the prospect of her dating? Especially if he knew there was kissing involved.

“And?” He asked softly.

“Aren’t you going to ground me or something?” Not that she wanted to be punished for something as innocent as kissing a boy, especially since Leanne didn’t seem to be the least bit phased by it. But she still would have understood if he had forbidden her from seeing him again.

“Would it work if I did?” His question was full of humor and she knew right then and there that she wasn’t in any kind of trouble with him.

“Probably not.” She whispered, snuggling against his side once more.

“No kid, I’m not gonna ground you.” He whispered back, his head falling against hers once more as he spoke in the most understanding tone she had ever heard him use. “You’re fourteen, you’re gonna kiss boys, it’s perfectly normal. Now, if you go doing anything more than kissing them, we’re gonna have issues.”

“What, like sex?” She could barely get the words out of her mouth because she felt ridiculous having this conversation with him. This was definitely more along the lines of something Leanne should be handling. “You’re insane, you know that right?”

“I’m glad you think so.” He chuckled at her reaction and when she hit his chest playfully he just tugged her closer.

“I’m serious Ethan.” And she was, she wasn’t even thinking about having sex with anyone, not even Max. She hoped that he understood that and that he didn’t think she was going to be one of those crazy teenagers that wound up with her own reality TV show because she couldn’t keep her legs closed. “You don’t have to worry about that.”

“Good to know.” He whispered as he dropped a kiss against her hair once more.

They sat in silence for a few minutes, his fingers rubbing up and down her arm as she finally felt her body relax against his. She had missed him being around to comfort her the past few months and while she understood his need for some distance, she hated that he had almost completely cut her out of his life. She would never understand why he didn’t want her around just because he and Leanne had been fighting.

“But seriously kid, I’d rather you be honest with me and feel comfortable coming to me with things instead of shutting me out.” He whispered after a few more minutes. He sounded so sincere and Ariel felt her heart tighten in his chest. That was probably the most ‘dad’ thing he had ever said to her and it made her happy to know that he was finally letting her back in. “I don’t want this to be awkward, you hear?”

“So I can come to you with boy issues?” She chanced a look up at him and she couldn’t help but smile when she saw his lips curl upward, his eyes remaining closed as he nodded his head on top of hers.

“I’d feel more comfortable with you coming to me instead of Mario.” He said softly. She let out a chuckle at his response. She knew it had been stupid to go to Mario, but he had just kind of been in the wrong place at the right time and she had needed answers.

“Yeah, that probably wasn’t my smartest move was it?” She asked her question as she closed her own eyes. Her body was starting to become exhausted and she wanted nothing more than to fall asleep right there.

“Ya think?” She could hear the humor in his tone, the way he was being sarcastic, but not offensive. She knew that he respected Mario, and that he had no problem with her confiding in him. She just probably figured that it shouldn’t be about things as important as boys.

“Leanne told me that his dad said we can’t see each other.” She whispered. She hated that Max’s dad had walked in on them kissing earlier. And not because he had interrupted the kiss, but rather because he had made her feel extremely unwelcome. “He doesn’t like the idea of us being together.”

“Well his dad sounds like a prick.” He said softly, his arm tightening around her shoulders. He must have sensed her getting tense and worked up again because he pressed a gentle kiss against her hair as he offered her a gentle hush.

“He’s not that bad.” In reality, she supposed the man was just trying to look out for Max. She just wished that he hadn’t been so mean to her about the whole thing. “He tried to reassure me when he was in Center Stage earlier. Leanne said he was just trying to protect him.”

“Well if gives you any grief you let me know.” Ethan’s statement was quiet, but firm, and she knew that he meant it. No one was going to mess with her if he had anything to say about it. “I won’t have him hurting you, you don’t deserve that.”

“I don’t think he will. Leanne talked to him.” She knew that Leanne had probably gotten through to the man, especially since she had seemed pretty upset about the whole thing.

“Well I’m sure that did the trick.” Ethan’s voice was full of respect and faith and Ariel couldn’t help but smile when she realized just how much he must be in love with the woman to support her so easily.

“Yeah probably.” She let out a yawn with her statement and she felt him chuckle softly as he squeezed her shoulders.

“You should try and sleep kid.” He said softly, his arm unwrapping from around her as he pulled away so that he could see her face. “You have school tomorrow.”

“Do I have to? Can’t I stay home with you?” She begged, and she hated begging, but she really just wanted to stay home with him. She had missed him so much and she would give anything to have an entire day with him, like they used to do, before everything had gotten so ugly.

“No luck girl. I’ve gotta go deal with my dad bright and early tomorrow.” She watched as his face grew tired and his eyes grew dark at the simple mention of the older man. She hated that the older Willis had that kind of affect on him. It wasn’t fair that such a decent man was being broken down by someone who was supposed to love him. “You’re much better off at school. Trust me.”

“Leanne told me he’s been giving you a hard time.” She whispered her words because she wasn’t sure if she was supposed to know anything about his father. He had done everything in his power to keep her away from the man, including cutting her off some ever since he started hanging around.

“He wants to sell my house.” She couldn’t believe what he was saying. Ethan lived there, how could he sell the place that his son was living in? Did he not care that he had nowhere else to go?

“But you live there.” She felt tears forming in her eyes again. She was worried that if his dad did sell the house that he would move away, far away, and that he would leave her and Leanne alone again.

“I know. But he technically owns it.” He said softly, his hand reaching out to brush her hair back from her face. “He has every right.”

“Where will you go?” She whispered, her head hanging downward as she felt his thumb brush at her tears.

“I’ll think of something.” He tugged her forward then, wrapping his arms around her as he pressed a kiss to her head. “But I’m not leaving you guys. That’s what he wants, but he isn’t going to win this one.” He dropped another kiss to her head as he squeezed her even tighter. “Not this time.”

“He sounds like an ass.” She whispered against his shoulder, her arms tightening around his waist as she let out a soft sniffle.

“He is.” Ethan pulled back then, lifting her head up with his hand until their eyes locked. “Which is why I don’t want you around him.”

“Okay.” She whispered back, sniffling a few times as she tired to calm herself down.

“I promise we can hang out this weekend okay kid?” He offered her a soft smile as he squeezed her shoulders before pulling back once more. “Whatever you wanna do.”

“Okay.” She huffed out, plopping backward against the pillows as she eyed him softly through her tear filled eyes. “Can I at least stay with you tonight?”

“Sure.” He let out a soft laugh as he plopped down next to her, pulling the covers over them with a quiet sigh. “Just know that Leanne’s gonna kick you out when she gets home.”

“I’d like to see her try.” She whispered, snuggling back against the mound of pillows at the top of the bed. If there was anything that she loved about Leanne’s bed it was the fact that the woman slept with at least eight pillows. Ethan had called her crazy when he first started coming around, but Ariel had told him not to knock it until he tried it. Now, she noticed, he seemed to have just as many pillows in his bed at his place.

“Goodnight kid.” He said softly as he sank back against the fluffy pillow behind his head. She noted that he always seemed to go for Leanne’s pillow when she wasn’t around. She guessed that maybe it smelled like her. She wondered if that was really comforting for him or if he was just strange.

“Goodnight Ethan.” She replied softly, her eyes falling closed as she felt sleep finally consume her. She prayed that she didn’t have any more nightmares now that she was settled so close to the man who she knew would protect her no matter what.


	33. Confessions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ethan and Leanne do some good old fashioned talking, the right way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *There are so many things these two need to talk about, especially after last week’s episode, so here we have it! **Spoliers for 3x08**

Ethan had been halfway through his first taco when he felt eyes on him from across the small lot. At first he expected to look up and find Rox staring at him, her dark eyes silently judging him for his unhealthy food choices. Or maybe even Jesse, upset that he didn’t invite him to join him for their favorite lunch. However, when he looked up, he saw neither of those two people. In fact, he didn’t see anyone that he recognized, save for Mario and Angus who were a few tables away arguing over something that Ethan could only assume was obsolete. He shook his head before returning to his taco, assuming that he must have been hallucinating, it had been a long day already after all.

“Dr. Willis?” _Or maybe he wasn’t going crazy._

“That’s me.” He stated pointedly, his head lifting up so that he could eye the owner of the mysterious voice. It was certainly no one that he knew from the hospital and he was even more curious how in the world this man even knew his name. It wasn’t like he could see his name card, unless of course, he had x-ray capabilities, which Ethan seriously doubted. “Who’s asking?”

“Owen Edwards.” The man didn’t extend his hand, instead he took the seat across from Ethan and offered him a firm look. “I’m Max’s father.”

“Ah.” Ethan should have known this was coming. Apparently Mr. Edwards was currently searching out all of Ariel’s family members.

“Max told me you’re Ariel’s dad.” _Figures the kid ratted him out._

“Yeah, I am.” He wasn’t in the mood to go into detail about who exactly he was to Ariel, but he figured that the man across from him didn’t really care for formalities right now. “What’s it to you?”

“Just wondering why you’re letting your daughter run around kissing boys?” Ethan choked on his bite of taco. He was fairly certain that Ariel was only kissing the one boy, but now his head was reeling.

“As far as I’m aware, my daughter’s only kissed one boy.” He trusted Ariel more than he trusted anyone else, save for Leanne, and he believed her when she said that Max was the only boy that she had been kissing. And, as far as he knew, it had only been the two times, which he could live with. Setting his taco down he lifted a finger to the man in front of him and jabbed it gently. “Yours.”

“That what she’s telling you?” Mr. Edwards didn’t seem amused by his words though and he crossed his arms over his chest defensively.

“Yeah.” Withdrawing his arm back toward him he let out a huff as he spoke. “And my kid doesn’t have a penchant for lying.”

“Look, I’m gonna tell you the same thing I told your wife, I don’t want them seeing each other.” _Wife? Huh? That was interesting._ He and Leanne seemed to wind up married more and more lately. He wondered if he should inform her of their apparent nuptials. “Max needs to focus on his health.”

“Not really sure how my kid being around him is keeping him from doing that.” He really didn’t understand the man’s logic. Just like he didn’t understand why he was talking to Ariel about staying away from the boy. Or why he was going after Leanne. He had certainly been upset when he had heard about that one.

“I don’t want Max making any stupid choices just because some pretty girl comes along.” Ethan let out a growl at the man’s words, he certainly wasn’t going to get away with blaming Ariel for any of this. From what Ethan could tell, Max was just as willing a participate as she was.

“Trust me, he makes any stupid choices toward my daughter,” He glared at the other man as he spoke, his blood boiling at the thought of that boy trying anything with his little girl, “you’re gonna be the least of his issues.”

“I just think they should maybe not spend as much time together.” Ethan could practically feel his eyes rolling as he shook his head. This man’s logic made no sense, and he, unlike Leanne, had no problem putting him in his place.

“I think maybe you should worry about letting your kid be a kid.” There, he said it. No reason to sugarcoat this shit. If there was one thing that Ethan hated about the parents of sick kids it was that they forced them to stop living before they even had too. “They’re teenagers Mr. Edwards, and from what I can tell, this seems like the most harmless relationship known to man.” At least, he prayed it was the most harmless relationship. Leanne seemed to think it was anyway, which was a start. “Maybe you should focus on your son and let me handle my kid. But as for now, I’m not gonna tell her who she can and cannot date.”

“Now I know where she gets her stubbornness from.” Ethan let out a chuckle at his words. _If only he knew._

“Thank you.” He said softly. He had no problem with Ariel ‘inheriting’ anything from him. It’s not like it was actually his fault. She had come preprogrammed that way, and, if anything, Ethan had calmed her down compared to the runt she had been when she showed up Angels a little over a year ago.

“It wasn’t a compliment.” The other man spat back. He wondered what had made this man so incredibly angry. Surely it wasn’t his kid’s fault.

“Look, Mr. Edwards, I appreciate you worrying about the kids.” In reality, he didn’t give a damn about how he felt about Ariel, but maybe placating the man a little would get him to go away. “I’ll talk to Ariel. But she makes her own choices, and if she chooses to spend time with Max, that’s fine by me.”

“You’re what’s wrong with the world today Dr. Willis.” He snapped.

“Actually, it’s Colonel Willis.” Ethan figured that two could play at the attitude game.

“Letting your kids do whatever,” Mr. Edwards stood and Ethan wasn’t the least bit sad to see him go, “you’re the reason there’s so many teenagers getting pregnant and causing trouble. I bet you and your wife have no control of that child.”

“I’ll have you know, Mr. Edwards,” Ethan stood with his words, his blood boiling in his veins as he did everything in his power to keep from raising his voice and drawing attention to them, “that my wife and I, have plenty of control of our daughter. But we also have respect for her. Enough respect actually, that we trust her to make smart decisions. Now, I could easily tell her to stay away from your son, and she would listen. She may not like it, but she’d listen. But I’m not an asshole, unlike you, so I’m not gonna go breaking my kid’s heart for no reason.”

Ethan wanted the other man to fire back, to say something sarcastic or insane, hell, half of him expected him to punch him right in the face. But he didn’t say a word, instead, he backed away from the table and gave Ethan one last disgusted look before he stormed off through the courtyard.

——

Three hours later Ethan had finally gotten five minutes to himself and the only thing he wanted to do was to go find Leanne, sneak her into a supply closet somewhere, and kiss her senseless. That was just the kind of day that he was having. Unfortunately, by the time he finally found Leanne he figured sneaking her away would be impossible, because literally everyone knew that he was looking for her, but also because he could tell by the way her shoulders were hunched and she was biting her bottom lip that she was exhausted.

“That man is ridiculous.” He figured he maybe should have started the conversation with a greeting of some kind, but the words left his mouth before he could stop himself.

“What man?” Leanne didn’t even look up from the file in front of her and Ethan let out a gentle sigh as he closed her office door behind him.

“Owen Edwards.” He said softly, moving further into the room before depositing himself on the couch.

“Max’s father?” She still didn’t look up and if Ethan hadn’t known any better he’d think that she was trying to get him to leave.

“Yeah. He’s absolutely ridiculous.” He leaned his head back against the cushion as he toed his boots off, bringing his legs up onto the couch as he closed his eyes.

“You didn’t go after him did you?” The almost accusatory tone in Leanne’s voice was offensive, but Ethan knew better than to get mad at her when she was like this.

“No! He came after me.” He lifted his head up then, his eyes opening in hopes of finding her beautiful brown ones staring back at him. Instead, she was still focused on the file on her desk, her pen moving quickly over the lines. “There I was, enjoying my tacos, or trying too, when he took it upon himself to join me for lunch. Turns out he doesn’t want ‘my daughter’ causing ‘his son’ to make any stupid choices.”

“Yeah. He and I talked yesterday.” He was well aware of the conversation the two had had yesterday, thanks to Ariel that was. It wasn’t like Leanne had spoken to him after they dropped her back off at the hospital. “He was quite adamant about them ending their relationship.”

“You let him know that he’s fucking crazy right?” She finally lifted her head up, her eyes connecting with his, and he guessed that maybe dropping the ‘f’ bomb wasn’t the smartest way to get her attention. “That we’re not gonna force that on them.”

“I told him that I supported their relationship,” She whispered, her tired eyes blinking behind the lenses of her glasses, “that I had no reason not to.”

“He tried to paint Ariel out like some whore.” He couldn’t stand the thought of anyone thinking that about his daughter. He prayed that Ariel knew better, that she would never put herself into a position to be called anything close to that again. “Like she was going around kissing every boy in sight.”

“Which she isn’t, I hope.” She let out a sigh as she finally dropped her pen, her hands reaching up to remove her glasses. 

“She isn’t.” He said softly. He watched as she rubbed at her face with her hands and he felt a pang in his chest when he noticed how they were shaking slightly.

“And you know this how?” She dropped her hands to the desk as she spoke, her eyes curious as she dared him to reveal his secrets.

“We talked last night. She explained to me what happened.” He hoped that she wouldn’t get angry that the teen had confided in him instead of her. He had thought it was a little odd himself, but he didn’t want Ariel to keep it all in, so he had been open with her. “Told me she was the one who initiated it. But only because he had tried to kiss her earlier and she had freaked out.”

“So she started it?” Leanne seemed slightly shocked by that prospect and Ethan couldn’t help but let out a soft chuckle at the face she made at him.

“Apparently.” He shrugged his shoulders, his head falling back against the cushions once more, his body starting to relax at the feeling of finally being able to sit down for more than thirty seconds at a time.

“That would explain why he was all freaked out I guess.” He still didn’t understand the other man’s discomfort with the whole thing. _So they had kissed? So what?_ When he was Max’s age he was doing much worse things.

“They’re kids Leanne. It’s innocent.” And that was the way that Ethan prayed it stayed. He knew what it was like, he had been their age once, albeit a long time ago, and he understood raging hormones and mixed signals. But he hoped and prayed that Ariel was smarter than that. “I’m not gonna take away the one good thing she has in her life.”

“You’re her father, I didn’t think you’d see any of this as innocent.” He knew that Leanne had a good point, but again, he wanted to have more faith in Ariel than his dad had had in him, and Jack, when they were that age. He had been 100% certain that both of his sons would father at least one illegitimate child before high school was over. Turns out, in their forty plus years of life, neither one of them had fathered a single child out of wedlock, at least not that they knew about.

“Look, I don’t want her dating, or kissing boys, ever. And I certainly don’t want her having sex with them.” He didn’t even want to think about that, just saying it sent chills down his spine. “But it’s gonna happen eventually, whether we like it or not. I’d rather her be honest with us than shut us out. We can protect her better that way.”

“I suppose I agree with your logic.” Leanne offered him a soft smile from across the small space and he couldn’t help but return it.

“You know I’m right.” He waggled his eyebrows at her and when she let out a soft laugh he sat up a little, extending his arms out, praying that she would get the message that he wanted her to come to him.

“Maybe...” She dragged out the word as she eyed him softly. She stood after a minute, making her way around the desk and toward him. He noticed that she had already kicked off her shoes and she had long ago lost her coat, leaving her in her scrubs and sock feet.

“So how was your day yesterday?” He whispered as she settled into his lap, her head falling to his shoulder as she snuggled close. He wrapped his arms around her tightly, dropping a kiss to her head as he relished in the feeling of having her back in his arms. Even though they had been back together for almost a week now it was still shocking to him to have her so close. He had missed her so much more than he ever thought possible. “You never came home last night. Ariel and I were worried.”

“Sorry.” She whispered, her eyes closing as she nuzzled her nose against his neck, dropping a kiss to the soft flesh there. “Rough shift.”

“Jesse told me there were kids involved.” He wasn’t sure if he should bring it up, especially since she seemed to be more content to just fall asleep right there in his arms, but he was trying to be open with her, and he wanted her to do the same with him.

“Siblings with an absent mother.” Her voice was soft and Ethan could feel the way her body tensed up with her words. He hated how affected she got by cases involving kids. He completely understood it though, especially since Ariel had come into his life. “They tried some stupid prank. It didn’t end so well.”

“They gonna be okay?” He asked quietly, his fingers tangling in her hair as he did his best to offer her some sort of comfort.

“Yeah. Campbell fixed them up.” He probably should have guessed that he wouldn’t have found her in her office doing paperwork if something had happened to one of them. Rather, she would probably be on the rough, or at home, half way through a bottle of her favorite wine.

“How’s the mother?” Again, he wondered if that was a smart question to ask, especially if the mother had been the reason the kids got messed up in the first place.

“She agreed to get help so that she could keep them.” He could hear the doubt in her words, the way her voice seemed to drop off as she spoke.

“You don’t sound convinced.” Not that he could blame her there either, he knew the track record a lot of absent parents had. His father had been the same way. 

“I don’t believe her for a second.” She shuttered a little and he could see tears brimming on the edge of her eyelashes. 

“I’m sorry honey.” He whispered, dropping another kiss to her hair. He wished he could take away all of her pain, even the pain he had caused, he just wanted her to stop suffering for once. “I wish I could’ve been there.”

“I just don’t get it.” She sobbed, her fingers grabbing at the chain of his dog tags in order to pull them from under his shirt. She reminded him of a little kid when she did that, how she would play with the chain in order to calm herself down when she got stressed out or upset. He had thought it was a little odd at first, but now, well now he loved that something so simple seemed to actually bring her some comfort. “How anyone with kids would just willingly screw up like that. Why would you want your kids to be taken away? Why would you want to cause them harm?”

“Some people don’t know how good they have it.” He had asked those same questions of his father growing up, and even more so as an adult, and it wasn’t until he was well into his thirties that he realized just that.

“I felt so bad for them.” She looked up at him then, her brown eyes misty and her lips trembling slightly. He felt his heart break in his chest, he couldn’t stand seeing her like this. “They were so scared.”

“I’m sure.” He leaned down, dropping a kiss to her forehead as he spoke. She dropped her head down then, snuggling back against his chest with a soft sigh, and he couldn’t help but hug her even tighter.

“I wanted to keep them Ethan.” She whispered after a few minutes of silence. “You have no idea how badly I wanted to bring them home with me. To give them a place that was safe, a family that would love them.”

“I know love.” And he did know, because he felt the same way. Not that he could ever love another child as much as he loved Ariel, but ever since she had come around, he had wanted to protect every kid that he could. He felt like he needed too, like now that he was a ‘father’ it was part of his job. He completely understood how Leanne felt, and he honestly would have completely respected her decision to just randomly bring two kids home. He wouldn’t have been surprised, and he doubted if Ariel would have either.

They stayed that way for a few minutes, just clinging to each other. He continued to run his fingers through her hair, relaxing both himself and her. And she toyed with his dog tags as her sobs started to die out. He was thankful that when Jesse poked his head in through the cracked door that he didn’t say anything, just offered them both a smile before leaving as quickly as he had come. He was thankful that most people around the hospital had stopped asking questions about their relationship. He figured that the head nurse probably had something to do with that though.

“So, how was your day?” Leanne’s voice broke through the quietness of the room and he had almost thought that she had fallen asleep when she spoke. “You seem a little off. Is everything okay?”

“Eh. It was alright.” In reality, his morning had started off fine. He and Ariel had snuck in a donut run before school, and he had appreciated the extra little time with the girl. But then he had driven to his house and his dad had been there with the realtor, and his day had just gone to shit from there. “My dad’s on my ass about selling the house again.”

“Why is he so hell bent on getting rid of it?” Her question was soft but he could tell that she was just as aggravated with the situation as he was.

“He wants to tie up lose ends.” Ethan didn’t really know why his dad wanted the house gone. It’s not like he needed the money or the street cred. He guessed that maybe he just wanted to piss him off. “I guess he figures if he sells the house he has no reason to come back west. Ever.”

“Not even to see his son?” She looked up at him with soft eyes and he couldn’t help but smile at her. She was truly the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Even with her tear stained cheeks and her bloodshot eyes and her messy hair. He couldn’t believe he was lucky enough to have her, especially after he had been stupid enough to get rid of her.

“I don’t wanna see him Leanne.” He whispered, his eyes misting over at the thought. “Not after everything.”

“Those things he said the other morning…” He was still angry that Leanne had had to hear all of that. If Ariel had been home he surely would have lost his cool. He didn’t give a damn about how his father spoke to him, but some of the things he had said about the two girls, those had been fighting words in Ethan’s book. “The things you said back to him...”

“I’m sorry you had to hear all that.” He was ashamed that she had witnessed that. Not just that she had heard what his dad had said, but also that she had heard what he had said back. It was certainly a side of him that he had hoped she would never have to witness.

“I’m sorry you had to put up with that.” She reached up then, her hand cupping his cheek gently as she ran her fingers over his stubble covered cheek. “No father should talk to his son like that.”

“That’s not even the worst of it.” He let his head fall against her hand a little, his eyes closing at the contact. “Should’ve heard the way he talked to me when Jack died.”

“I’d rather not.” She whispered back. She pulled his face down a little then, just as hers lifted up, and when their lips touched for the first time in almost 24 hours Ethan felt his heart skip a beat. God how he had missed her.

“I’m not like that am I?” He whispered against her lips, his eyes filling with tears at the simple thought of it. She tugged his head back down, her lips grazing over his softly as she let her hand move to the back of his skull, the other going to rest against his cheek. 

“No Ethan.” Her voice was so soft and so reassuring and he choked back a sob. She was rarely the one to comfort him, not necessarily by choice, but now that she was here, taking care of him, he couldn’t control how much it made his heart burst with love. “You’re nothing like him.” 

“I just... I don’t wanna do that to Ariel you know?” He dropped his forehead to hers as he spoke, the fingers of his right hand tangling in her hair once more. “I don’t want her to ever think that she isn’t important. I want her to come to me and feel comfortable talking to me. I locked so much away growing up because I had no one to confide in. I don’t want that for her.”

“She knows that Ethan. She loves you.” She whispered, and Ethan could hear the sadness in her voice. He hoped that she didn’t regret letting him and Ariel get close. He knew that sometimes the girl could pick him over her and he prayed that she didn’t hold that against him. “And she knows that you love her. I don’t think that’ll ever change.”

“I hope not.” And he prayed that she always knew just how much he loved her. Even when she was in college and she was too cool for him, and even when she was married and had her own life, he always wanted her to be his little girl. “I know she’s scared. I know this is hard on her, but I don’t want her doing this alone.”

“Me either.” Leanne’s voice cracked with her words and Ethan tugged her even closer when he saw the tears forming in her eyes. He hated that she was hurting so much, both for herself and for the young girl. “I’m scared for her Ethan.”

“Me too.” He whispered back. And he was, absolutely terrified.

“If something happens to Max, if she loses him.” He didn’t even want to fathom that. He couldn’t imagine your first crush ending in such a tragic way. He couldn’t imagine any crush or love or relationship of any kind ending that way. He hated that Leanne had suffered the loss of her husband, despite how thankful he was that it gave him the chance to have her, but he still hated the thought of it. He couldn’t even begin to process what that would be like for a teenager, especially one who had already lost so much.

“I know.” He pressed a soft kiss to her lips then, praying that he could offer her at least a little comfort.

“She’ll be devastated.” She sobbed out, her tears pouring down her cheeks.

“I know.” Another kiss and another prayer that he was at least doing something right.

“What do we do for her?” Her question shocked him. He expected her to have it all figured out by now. That was her style and all.

“We help her get through it.” He said softly, his eyes locking with hers as he brushed the thumb of his left hand over her lips. “We take it one day at a time with her. We let her know that we’re here for her and that she can come to us if she needs us. That she isn’t alone.”

“And if he dies?” She whispered, her voice hiccuping as she asked him the question he was dreading even thinking about.

“We do what we’ve always done,” He whispered back, “we love her until it doesn’t hurt so much anymore. Until she’s whole again.”

He expected Leanne to speak but instead she dropped her head back down to his chest, her arms going to wrap around his waist as she snuggled closer. He hugged her close as he pressed a kiss to her chestnut hair and he hoped that whatever he had said hadn’t made her any more agitated. He felt her body start to relax against his after a good fifteen minutes of snuggling there and he half expected to hear soft snores coming from her. But instead she asked a question that sent his mind reeling and made his heart stop in his chest.

“So you and Rox are back out in the field again?” He could hear the hesitation in her words and he hated that he had done this to her. That he had made her question everything about him and his relationship with the paramedic. He knew he deserved all the anger and frustration that she had held, but he still didn’t like it.

“Yeah.” He whispered back. “Rox said something about her boss telling her to take me back. Said we were the best team he’d had in a while.”

“Interesting.” He could tell that Leanne really wanted to make some smart ass comment back to him, hell, it’s what he would have done. But now that they were trying to make things work, that they were trying to talk instead of fight, he guessed that maybe she bit her tongue on that one.

“That’s what I said.” He had honestly been shocked when Rox had said that. He had thought that her supervisor would have wanted Ethan off the rig for good, especially since he seemed to always find danger. But apparently they got shit done, and that was what was important.

“So you’re back out there for good?” He knew that she hated him being out in the field, and not just because of Rox either. She had hated it from the beginning, and then even more so once Ariel came around, and he had done his best to reassure her that it was fine. But now, after everything that had happened, after everything that he had been through, he realized her hesitation at his being out there.

“Partially. I talked to Campbell. He wants me to stay close.” That had been partially true. He had in fact talked to Campbell, and the doctor had indeed asked him if he wanted to stay close to Angels, but he had never actually come right out and said that he wanted him there. Although, judging by the way things had been going lately, he guessed that ER director was probably missing him right about now. “I know you and Ariel want the same thing.”

“I just want you to be safe.” She whispered as she returned her left hand to the chain of his dog tags. She was getting antsy again, he could tell, and he hated it. He wanted nothing more than to take her home and make love to her and snuggle her under the soft sheets until they both fell asleep. He wanted to take away all of her stress and her worry and he wanted to take all of her burdens and make them his.

“I’m trying Lea, I promise.” And he really, really was. He was trying to make the right choices for his family, for his girls. And he wanted nothing more than to leave the field all together and just stay at home with the two of them full time.

“I believe you.” Her statement was soft and he heard her let out a soft sigh as she twirled the chain between her fingers and back again.

“Rox and I talked the other day.” He didn’t know if bringing up the talk he had had with Rox was a smart idea, but again, honesty was the best policy right now.

“Yeah, I figured that was coming.” The fact that she didn’t sound angry or terrified at his words was comforting. He guessed that maybe she had put two and two together when he had started going back out in the field again.

“Nothing came from it. I promise, we’re gonna be friends.” He hoped and prayed above all else that she understood how much he meant that. There was no way that he was giving her up again. Not for Rox, not for anyone. He just wanted her to know that he was all in this time. “For the sake of our jobs, and possibly our sanities.”

“That’s fine.” She whispered, her arm tightening around his waist as she dropped a kiss to his shoulder. He guessed that maybe she was trying to show him just how much she approved of his decision.

“I know it makes you uncomfortable.” He hated that it made her uncomfortable. From what he understood her and Rox had once been friendly with each other. He hated that he had been the reason that the two may have stopped that friendship. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine Ethan.” He could tell she was starting to get aggravated and he figured that he should just stop while he was ahead. It wasn’t worth a fight, not after everything they had talked about. Not after all the progress they had made. “You can be friends with whoever you want.”

“I don’t want to fight about this.” He whispered, his lips pressing a kiss to her head. He felt her pull away from him, her body straightening up as she moved to stand.

“We don’t have to.” She said quietly as she stood, her feet shuffling her a few feet away from him as she ran her fingers through her hair.

“Lea…” He swung his legs out in front of him, his hands reaching for her as he moved to stand behind her. He gripped her hips gently as he brought himself flush against her back, his head dropping to her shoulder as she pressed a kiss there. “Please… I don’t want to do this.”

“Then let’s just leave it as it is.” She whispered, her body turning around in his arms. She brought her hands to his chest as she let out a soft sigh. “You and Rox being friends makes me uncomfortable, but I’m not gonna tell you how to live your life. As long as it doesn’t cause issues with us, or Ariel, it’s fine.”

“I won’t let it cause problems.” He whispered back, his forehead falling to rest against hers as he let his fingers wander under the hem of her scrub top. “I promise. We both made that pretty clear.”

“Okay then.” She nodded her head softly, her fingers dancing lightly over his t-shirt as she took a deep breath.

“So we’re good?” He hoped that she would say ‘yes’ and that she would take his hand and leave this place with him.

“We’re good.” She offered him a soft smile as she spoke and he felt his heart flutter in his chest. This had probably been the first time in a long time that they had had a serious discussion that didn’t end in a complete disaster.

“I’ll see you tonight?” He wanted to drag her away with him right now, but he knew that she wouldn’t leave until those files were completed and the kids from earlier were safe and tucked in. He just hoped that she would remember that she had a kid at home that would need tucking in too. And that he wouldn’t mind falling asleep next to her for once either.

“I’ll do my best.” She whispered.

“Lea...” He didn’t want to beg, but really, at this point, he was totally okay with it.

“I’ll see you tonight Ethan.” She smoothed her hands over his t-shirt then, before pulling his head downward so that her lips could connect with his. He couldn’t help but smile into the kiss, his hands gripping her hips tighter as she ran her tongue along his lips. If he wasn’t so worried about them being walked in on he would have taken her right there on the couch behind them. It surely wouldn’t have been the first time, and it probably wouldn’t have been the last either.

“I’ll cook.” He mouthed against her lips and when she chuckled, shaking her head back and forth as she pulled away from him he let out a huff. “We can finish this too.” He tugged her back to him, his lips moving to trail down her neck. She let out a sigh as her hands stilled against his stomach, her head falling backward to give him better access.

“What about Ariel?” Her question wasn’t unwarranted, they often didn’t do anything inappropriate with the teen down the hall. Although, Ethan silently noted, lately they had been getting pretty good at keeping the noise level down as not to raise her suspicions.

“We’ll just have to be quiet.” He dragged his teeth along her pulse point and when she let out a grunt before gently pushing him backward he couldn’t help but let out another huff. “I promise I’ll make it worth it.”

“You better.” She pulled him close once more, her hands going to tangle in his hair as she crashed her lips against his. If there was one thing they did right, it was surely this part.

They stood there for a few minutes, kissing roughly in her dimly lit office, and if Ethan had been a lesser man he would have just scooped her up in his arms and carried her out the door right then and there. But he knew that she needed to finish her files, and check on her patients, and more than likely tell Jesse all about their conversation before she left for the night. So reluctantly, he pulled away, his hands going to settle on her hips once more as he tried to catch his breath.

“Don’t be too late.” He whispered, his eyes twinkling as he offered her a soft smile.

“I won’t.” She whispered back, her hands falling back to her sides as she took a few steps back. “I promise.”

He moved to put his boots on, choosing to just shove his feet inside instead of messing with the laces, and he offered her a goofy grin as he stopped at the door.

“Goodbye love.” He said softly, watching as she sat back down in her chair with a groan.

“Goodbye love.” She echoed back, her face lighting up at the use of endearment. It was the first time in months that she had called him something other than his name, and it sent his heart into overdrive. He knew they still had a long way to go, but he was hopeful that tonight’s conversation had been a stepping stone in the right direction.


	34. Moving On

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ethan’s dad has some things he wants to talk about.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *I haven’t seen 3x09 yet, but I hear Ethan and his dad had a fight. So this takes place before that, when they were actually talking to each other, sort of.  
> **The next chapter, which will be based off of 3x09, will be up by Saturday at the latest!

Ethan had been three quarters of the way through his first cup of coffee after an excruciatingly long shift, when the front door opened with a soft thud. He half expected Ariel to come barreling through the door, ranting on and on about something or other than he would most likely not understand. But instead, he watched as his dad stepped through the door, a slightly disgruntled look on his face. Ethan let out a sigh as he hung his head, his eyes closing as he silently prayed the man would just come and go without speaking to him. They hadn’t exactly talked since their fight last weekend, and while he hadn’t quite gotten over the conversation just yet, he was fairly certain that his dad would act like nothing had happened. Either that or he’d beat the shit out of him. 

“So when are you gonna marry that woman of yours?” Were the first words out of Jack, Sr.’s mouth and Ethan did a double take. 

“Excuse me?” He spat back, his eyes going wide as the older man stopped in the doorway of the kitchen.

“That girlfriend of yours,” He moved further into the room as he spoke, his voice slightly more calm than Ethan had expected it, “what did you say her name was? The one with the kid?”

“Leanne…?” Ethan wasn’t sure where this conversation was going but he wished it would end right now. He didn’t want to have this talk with anyone right now, much less his father, and his head was entirely too tired to deal with the man.

“Yeah her.” Pouring himself a cup of coffee he made himself right at home, moving to sit down at the small table. Ethan watched as he grunted, shoving Ariel’s French text book across the table in order to set his cup down. “When you gonna make her an honest woman?”

“It’s not like that dad.” He growled back. It’s that he didn’t want to marry Leanne. In fact, he would marry her tomorrow if that was what she wanted. But he suspected that that day would never come. Not after everything she had been through in her life. Not after everything he had put her through.

“Not like what?” His father’s tone was sharp, his eyes setting in a fixed gaze as he stared Ethan down from across the table.

“Leanne and I aren’t getting married.” And that part was true. At least he could say that he wasn’t lying to his father.

“And why the hell not?” But apparently his father didn’t care.

“Because we’ve only been together for a little while.” He figured that was a good enough excuse for the time being. In reality, Ethan didn’t think it really mattered how long they had been together, love was love. 

“Seriously?” The look of shock on his dad’s face almost did him in. For someone who didn’t seem to give a shit about his life he was awfully surprised that his dad was so curious about his relationship with the other doctor.

“Seriously.” Short and to the point was always best when dealing with his father. He was going to have to work on remembering that.

“A year?” His question sent Ethan’s head spinning. He wished they had been together that long. Lord knows that he had been trying relentlessly to get her to go out with him for longer than that.

“Less.” Ethan downed the rest of his coffee in one gulp, his body suddenly needing the caffeine to make it through what was surely going to be a tiring conversation.

“Get out.” The older man’s curious glance made him chuckle. He liked that he could still surprise the man. Sometimes he relished in being able to screw with him some.

“We were only together three months before we broke things off. Then we spent five months apart.” Ethan wanted to add a ‘give or take’ but he knew that his dad would just ask for details, and he wasn’t quite ready to divulge that kind of information to anyone. “We’ve been back together two weeks? So yeah, less than a year.”

“Could’ve fooled me.” His dad crossed his arms over his chest as he leaned back, the serious stare returning to his face. “Why’d you take time off?”

“I was dating Rox. Remember?” He couldn’t believe his father had forgotten about Rox. He seemed to be even more infatuated with her than he had.

“Ah yes. Rox. I liked her.” Or maybe he did remember her and he just didn’t want to come right out and say it. “I would have been fine with you marrying her.”

“The feeling wasn’t mutual.” He growled back. He really hated when his father did this, picking sides in a battle that wasn’t even his to fight. “And Rox and I would never have lasted that long.”

“Now why would you tell me that?” Ethan didn’t understand why his father cared so much about why he and Rox ended things.

“Look, Rox and I broke things off, we’re just friends now.” And he meant it with every fiber of his being. They were just friends, co-workers, and that was how it was going to stay. “We were good together, but she will never be Leanne and I will never love her the same way. So let’s just leave it at that.”

“Shame.” His father rolled his eyes at his words and Ethan felt a let down coming. “You two would have made beautiful children together.”

And there it was. His father’s obsession with his children producing perfect little carbon copies of himself was insane and Ethan had never understood it. He had never planned on having children for one thing, and for another, if he did, he had never planned on letting his father anywhere near them. Just like with Ariel, he would move heaven and Earth to keep that girl out of his father’s reach.

“Shut up dad.” He spat back. He couldn’t believe he would say something like that. He and Leanne would surely make more beautiful babies, not that they were ever going to do anything of the sort.

“I don’t know why you insist on talking to me like that.” Jack, Sr. growled out, his eyes growing dark with rage. “I’m not meaning any harm by this.”

“You always mean harm by everything that you do dad.” Ethan’s voice was quiet and he could feel his blood pressure starting to rise. This was why he hated talking to his dad. He hated how he always made it into a fight, into a competition or a ‘you can’t do anything right’ situation. “That’s never going to change.”

“I’m trying here Ethan.” He didn’t believe his father’s words for a second.

“Bullshit.” He growled out, standing from his chair as he moved to deposit his coffee cup in the sink.

“I really am.” He gripped the counter in front of him, his eyes scanning the side yard, praying for some sort of relief from this conversation. He wanted his phone to ring, Campbell calling to say that he was needed at Angels. Or for Rox to pull up, demanding that he join her for her ride alongs that day. Hell, at this point, he would settle for Mario trying to drag him to the batting cages again. He just wanted out.

“If you were really trying you wouldn’t be kicking me out on my ass,” His voice was barely above a whisper and he wouldn’t have been surprised if his dad hadn’t heard a single word he said, “leaving me with no place to live.”

“We’ve been over this a hundred times.” But apparently his hearing was better than Ethan gave him credit for. “I need to sell the house.”

“Why? What the hell is your reasoning for this?” He turned then, his hands trembling and his eyes filling with tears as he eyed his father with nothing but pure rage.

“It’s time to move on Ethan.” His father’s words made his heart break in his chest. There was no moving on from what had happened to Jack. There was no ‘getting over it’ or ‘learning to cope’. His brother had been his best-friend and even though it had been three years it felt like it was just yesterday. “Your brother is dead, I’m ready to be over it.”

“Screw you dad!” He screamed and for the first time in his life he honestly prepared himself to punch the older Willis in the face.

“I really don’t understand what the big deal is.” Of course his dad didn’t understand it. He had a home to live in, in fact, he had two. And he had a family to fall back on when the going got tough. Ethan had nowhere to call home if his dad sold this place. And it’s not like he had anywhere else he could go. “Can’t you just move in with Leanne? You two practically spend every waking minute together anyway.”

“It’s not like that.” It’s not that Ethan hadn’t thought of it. He would give anything to be able to live with his girls, absolutely anything. But he knew that that kind of commitment was far out of Leanne’s comfort zone, no matter how much it would mean to him and Ariel to be under the same roof. “It’s not that simple.”

“Why the hell not?” His father’s confusion was making Ethan more angry than before. He didn’t understand why the man couldn’t just let this shit go.

“Because it’s not!” He yelled back. He felt his heart racing in his chest, sweat beading across his forehead as he fought off the urge to fight his father like some teenager. 

“You have a kid together.” Ethan was well aware of that, but he was beyond shocked to hear his father refer to Ariel in such a way. Up until this point he almost seemed to deny the girl’s existence. “Don’t you think your so called daughter would benefit from having both parents under one roof?”

“You leave Ariel out of this!” But he didn’t really want his father acknowledging her, not after everything he had done to him, not after everything he had put him through. He knew that Ariel disliked the man simply based off of what little Ethan had told her about him, and he knew that if they ever met the teen wouldn’t hesitate to put the older man in his place. And while he would support Ariel’s desire to do so wholeheartedly, he knew his father wouldn’t hesitate to backhand her the first time she got snippy with him. And that would surely end with Ethan killing the man.

“I don’t understand why you’re keeping them from me.” If only Ethan could name the reasons. He was sure his father would probably be surprised to know just why he hated him so much. “If they’re your family, than they’re my family too.”

“They’ll never be your family!” And he meant it, every, last, word. Leanne and Ariel were his world, his entire life revolved around them, especially the teen, and he would never, not in a million years, put them in a position to be hurt by this man. “Ever!”

And with that he slammed his hands against the counter and pushed himself forward, his legs carrying him toward the door with a huff. He grabbed his keys without a second thought and slid his feet into a pair of flip-flops as he threw the front door open. He didn’t care where he went as long as it wasn’t anywhere near this house, and as long as it was miles away from the man who was hellbent on destroying him.

“Where are you going?” His father’s voice followed him outside and he noticed that the man had followed him out onto the porch, his hand reaching out to grab his arm roughly.

“Somewhere, anywhere.” Ethan snapped, yanking his arm from his father’s grip as he shoved him backward slightly. “As long as it’s nowhere near you.”


	35. Hero (part 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the day that he had just had, Ethan needed his family, until he realized that they needed him so much more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *So 3x09 has officially broken me and I desperately needed to see some love between our favorite family. So here it is!  
> **This will be one super long chapter, broken down into 2-3 parts and posted separately. That way I don’t have to leave you guys hanging while I finish it out.  
> *** **Spoliers for 3x09**

**Part 1**

Ethan couldn’t believe the day he was having. Things had gone from bad to worse to horrible, all in a matter of hours, and he was so emotionally and mentally drained that he could no longer function. He had been absolutely devastated after spending the day at Brooks’ funeral. And then after his chat with Damien, he had felt ever fiber of his being simply give up. He just couldn’t understand how things had gone so horribly wrong. So bad that his brother, and two of his closest friends, had taken their own lives because of it. 

After Damien had tried to kill himself and he had jumped to try and stop the shot, all he could think about was how badly his head hurt. And how badly he wished he had been five minutes earlier with his own brother. Finding Jack’s body hanging like that, his pulse completely gone and his body lifeless, had been the single scariest thing he had ever lived through. He had been a shell of a person after that, his heart and mind having been so emotionally drained that he could no longer take it. He had almost taken his own life back then, especially in the first few months after Jack’s funeral. 

But then he came to Angels and he met Leanne and he had pulled himself together because for the first time in a long time he had a reason to get up each morning. She had given him a purpose in life, something to be happy about, even long before they had started dating. And then Ariel had come along and he felt so at peace and so at home with the teen around that he didn’t understand how he had lived without her. 

Closing his eyes shut tight he leaned back against the couch cushions, a fresh round of tears forming behind his closed lids. He really just wanted this day to be over. But more than that, he wanted to be with his girls. His fight with Rox, his fight with his father, it had been enough to make him question a lot about his existence, and he knew the only way to fix that was to be with the two people he loved the most. Letting out a frustrated sigh he grabbed his phone from it’s space on the end table and dialed the all to familiar number. The phone rang and rang and rang and he felt his heart stop in his chest when it went straight to voicemail. He knew that Leanne would be home by now, it was a school night after all, she was bound to have Ariel in bed by now.

Sighing again, he dialed her number a few more times, growling a little each time when it continued to go straight to messages. He didn’t understand what was going on, Leanne wasn’t one to ignore him, not like this. Letting out a huff he dialed her one last time, this time though, he waited for the beep of the voicemail option, and left her a message, praying that she would hear it and get back to him quickly.

“Hey Lea, it’s me. Look, I know you just worked a horribly long shift and I’m sure you’re exhausted, but um… I really need you right now.” He wanted to add that that was an understatement. He needed her more than he ever thought possible. Especially in that given moment, especially when he could feel his heart racing in his chest and his eyes starting to water once more as he realized just how much he relied on her to get him through the tough times. “Today was bad, real bad. I can’t sleep and something doesn’t feel right and I just… I need you.” He knew that if she were there with him, if she were curled up in his bed right now, if Ariel was asleep down the hall, he would feel so much better about everything. “You and Ariel. I need to be with you.” He wanted her to know that he needed the teen almost as much as he needed her. He needed the girl’s hugs and her sweet smile and her understanding soul. “I don’t know if you’ll get this message, hell, you’re probably already asleep by now… I just…” He hated that he was rambling and he was sure that she would probably think he was drunk. However, his one beer had done little to comfort his fraying nerves. “God I must sound like a rambling idiot. Please, just, call me back. Or text me. Something, anything. I just really need to hear your voice.” At this point he would settle for simply talking to her, texting her, anything. He just wanted her. “I… I love you.”

He hung up quickly after realizing what he had just admitted out loud. Sure, he had been thinking it for months, and it had probably been lurking somewhere under the surface for even longer, but he had never told her that. Hell, he had never even told Ariel that he loved her mother. Though he suspected that she probably knew that just as well as he did. 

He just hoped his confession wouldn’t scare her away. They had never even talked about their relationship more than just the fact that they were together. He didn’t know if she was ready to take that step, if she was ready for something more. He knew he sure was, more than he was probably willing to admit to himself. He loved her, that much he knew, and he would give anything to be able to take that next step. Especially after his dad had brought up marrying her. Ever since then, his mind had been reeling at the idea.

Letting out another frustrated sigh he tossed his phone across the couch, his head falling back against the couch cushions as he fought off more tears. He hated this. So fucking much. He just wanted to be with his family right now, more than anything else in the world, and he didn’t understand why this had to be so difficult. 

——

Ethan had given up on getting any peace and he had resorted to crawling into bed, still dressed in his clothes from earlier. He figured that Leanne must have truly already fallen asleep, because it was totally not like her to not respond at all. Letting out a groan he dropped his head back against the pillow, his eyes focusing on some far off spot on the wall. He heard his phone beep from it’s space next to his arm and he quickly grabbed the item, sighing softly when he saw Leanne’s name flash across the screen.

_Now’s not a good time Ethan._ Stared back up at him and he felt his heart clench in his chest. 

_Yeah I’m not doing so hot either._ He let his eyes fall shut as he tried not to panic. He didn’t want to fight with her, not today, not after everything he had already had to deal with.

_Please Ethan._ He could practically hear the pleading tone in her voice and he felt like he was letting her down. He didn’t really know why, but he just didn’t feel like he was doing the right thing by asking for her help right now. Clearly, she felt the same way.

_Can I come over?_ He really hoped that she would say ‘yes’. That she would invite him over and that he could crawl into bed with her and hold her tight while he cried out every tear he had been holding in all day. He just wanted to be with her. To be near her. That was the only thing that was going to get him through this night.

He waited an hour for an answer but he never got one. He tried to let his body relax, to fall asleep and finally rest after this hellish day, but unfortunately, his body never gave in. Instead, he spent two more hours tossing and turning, his eyes scanning his phone screen every few minutes for any sign of communication from the woman. But it never came.

——

Leanne couldn’t remember a time when she had ever been so physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted. After everything that had happened today, after dealing with Ariel not wanting to see Max. And then Ariel telling the boy she loved him, only minutes before he was swept away to surgery. And then she had had to watch as the teen took his last breath, his body finally giving in to the pressure it had been under for the past few years. She had felt her heart break in her chest, not only for the loss of such a young soul, but for his father who was now widowed and childless. She knew all to well what that feeling was like.

She had prayed that Ethan would come swooping in at any minute, pulling her into his arms and taking some of the burden off of her shoulders, just like he always did. She hoped beyond hope that he would be there to hold her hand while she told Ariel that the boy that she loved had just died. She knew the girl would need him, that she would likely seek out his comfort before she would seek out hers. They were just so incredibly close that way. But Ethan had never shown, and when she had called him once, right after walking away from the OR, his phone had gone straight to voicemail without even ringing. She figured he must be out on a call, otherwise he wouldn’t have his phone off like that.

She had reluctantly gone to find the teen on her own, her body shaking at the simple prospect of having to tell her the bad news. And when she had told Ariel about what had happened she had felt her heart seize up in her chest, her whole body going numb as she watched her daughter lose control. She could practically feel the girl’s heart breaking. And while she wanted to be angry when the teen screamed at her that this was her fault, she couldn’t be, because she understood all too well what she was saying. She had screamed those same words at people who cared about her after her family was taken away. She knew that feeling better than anyone.

Ariel had stormed out on her, leaving her alone to cry for her, for all the loss that she had suffered, for all the pain that she had been through in her short life. She certainly didn’t deserve the suffering she had had to endure. After finally finding the teen wandering the halls a little while later she had wrapped her arm around her tight, guiding her to the car without a single word. They had ridden home in silence, the teen practically running to her room once the front door was open, the sound of the shower echoing through the otherwise quiet house only seconds later.

Leanne had showered quickly, pulling on her underwear and the closest shirt she could find, something of Ethan’s she was sure, and she had collapsed into bed without a second thought. She knew deep down that she should check on the girl, but she didn’t want to push her, not after their conversation earlier. Not after all the hurt she had seen in the girl’s eyes when she had shoved past her in her office. She had just started to doze off when she felt the bed dip, her eyes opening to reveal the teen, now clad in her pajamas, her eyes red and full of tears. She had pulled the covers back without hesitation, allowing the girl to snuggle as close to her as she damn well pleased.

They had fallen asleep that way, Leanne only flinching when she heard her phone ring about an hour later. She had ignored it, despite the caller’s multiple attempts, and when she finally pulled it to her, Ethan’s named stared back at her, 7 missed calls and 1 voicemail. She felt horrible for ignoring him, albeit, not intentionally, but after listening to his voicemail she had felt her heart start to race and her head start to pound and she just couldn’t bare the thought of talking to him in that given moment.

When she awoke a few hours later she texted him back, letting him know that now wasn’t the time. She could practically hear his anxiety in his texts, the way he needed her, the way he was trying to reach out to her. They had made a promise to each other, a promise to Ariel, that they were going to try and make this work. That they were going to be open and honest with each other from here on out. It made her almost sick thinking about how she had been shutting him out the past few hours. Especially when she and Ariel had needed him so badly. She had gotten ready to respond to his plea to come over when Ariel had let out a sob in her sleep, and suddenly all of her attention was on the girl, her phone tossed to the wayside as she tried to comfort her.

They must have both dozed off again because the next thing Leanne knew she heard the front door open slowly, and then shut just as quietly. She could tell by the boots on the floorboards that it was Ethan, there was no mistaking his footsteps, the way he moved through the house was something she had memorized early on, something she never wanted to forget. When she didn’t hear the bedroom door open though, she wondered for a second if maybe she was just dreaming. It wasn’t like him to not head straight for her room, to crawl into bed with her without a care in the world.

She waited a few minutes, her arms loosening around the still sleeping teen as she pushed herself up slightly. Finally, her bedroom door open and in he stepped, looking more exhausted than she had ever remembered seeing him. She felt her heart break at the sight of him, his face clearly tear stained and his eyes bloodshot and swollen.

“Ethan?” She whispered his name softly, careful not to wake the girl in her arms. 

“Shh,” His reply was just as soft and she watched as he toed off his boots as he spoke, “it’s just me.”

“What are you doing here?” She knew damn well what he was doing here. He needed them, just like his message said, just like she had known for several hours and yet she had ignored him.

“I couldn’t sleep.” He made his way toward the other side of the bed, his jacket being tossed to the chair by the window as he grabbed his sweats from the top of the dresser. He dropped his pants to the floor and stepped out of them, straight into the old ragged sweats, in one swift motion.

“So you broke into my house?” She knew that he technically didn’t break into the house, she had given him a key after all. But after today, her brain was a little fuzzy and she wasn’t quite remembering details the way she probably should have.

“I used my key.” He whispered, moving to lay behind her in the big bed. He spooned behind her, his legs tangling with hers instantly, his arm going around her waist after pulling the covers over their bodies. If he was phased by their daughter’s presence in the bed, he didn’t show it.

“Oh okay.” She dropped her head back down next to Ariel’s, her ears straining to hear the girl’s breath sounds. She had been checking constantly to make sure the girl was alright, her own fears taking over after having watched Max suffer that day.

“Everything okay?” He had to have known that things weren’t, in fact, okay. But she knew that he would never assume such a thing, especially not given the line of work they were in.

“No.” She felt her heart start to race as another round of tears formed behind her closed eye lids and she snuggled back against him as best she could without separating herself from the teen too much.

“What happened?” He nuzzled his face against her neck, his lips pressing a kiss to the exposed skin as he squeezed her waist tightly. She would never get tired of having him so close, of having his arms around her, his lips against her skin. After everything they had been through she knew that this was the closest thing to perfect she would probably ever have.

“I don’t wanna talk about it right now.” And that was true. She was exhausted, beyond exhausted, and the last thing she wanted to do right now was talk. She just wanted to sleep, snuggled between the two most important people in her life, and she couldn’t fathom having to ruin that with the words she would have to say to him.

“Okay.” He dropped another kiss to her neck as he peeked over her shoulder. She could tell that he was eyeing the girl, that his curiosity was getting the best of him. “She okay?”

“No.” She snapped, and she instantly regretted it because she felt his body stiffen, and then pull away from her slightly, his head falling back to the pillow. She had forgotten that he was struggling too, that he was hurting in some way, and she felt horrible for treating him like that. “I’m sorry. I just… I don’t wanna talk right now. Just… go to sleep Ethan.”

“Okay.” He whispered, his body staying put in it’s spot, not quite pressed against her like it had been a minute ago. She hated that they did this to each other. “Hey… I meant it you know? What I said earlier? It was all true.”

“Ethan please,” She knew without a doubt that he meant it. She knew, although she didn’t really want to know, that he loved her with his whole heart, “not now.”

“Okay.” The fact that he was being so laid back about this all scared her, but she was helpless to fight him off right now. She just wanted to sleep. So instead of arguing with him, or getting on his case, she just closed her eyes shut tight, her grip around Ariel tightening as she tried to relax herself. “Get some sleep babe.” He whispered, his lips gentle against her shoulder as he pressed one last kiss there. And then she felt herself slowly starting to doze off, her body no longer able to handle the stress of the day.


	36. Hero (part 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the day that he had just had, Ethan needed his family, until he realized that they needed him so much more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *So 3x09 has officially broken me and I desperately needed to see some love between our favorite family. So here it is!  
> **This will be one super long chapter, broken down into 2-3 parts and posted separately. That way I don’t have to leave you guys hanging while I finish it out.  
> *** **Spoilers for 3x09**

** Part 2 **

Ariel couldn’t believe the day she was having. She couldn’t even fathom how horribly wrong everything had gone. And so quickly too. She had been horrified watching Max thrash around in pain when he had been brought to Center Stage. The sound of his voice screaming out for his father like that, the look of pure terror on his face, it had sent shock waves through her body that she couldn’t remember ever feeling before. She had been rooted to her spot, despite Leanne’s screams for her to leave, despite the pleading in her mother’s eyes for her to walk away. She hadn’t been able to move. 

After Jesse had finally gotten her to turn around, she had practically run away from all the chaos, choosing to hide out in the supply room. She had started messing things up just for the sake of reorganizing them, her brain still unable to process everything that had happened over the past fifteen minutes. She had prayed that Ethan would walk through the door and comfort her, but rather, it had been Leanne. And her words had done little to make her feel better. She just wanted to forget everything that she had just witnessed. She didn’t want to accept it, she didn’t want it to be fact, she just wanted it all to go away.

She had been hesitant to see Max for so many reasons. She was scared, yes, but she was also frustrated and her heart hurt and she was confused about what to do next. When Leanne had finally convinced her that she needed to go speak to him, that she needed to talk to him, to show him that she still cared about him, she had finally felt something inside her break. She knew that the older woman was right, that Max needed her just as much as she needed him, so she had given in. 

She had gone to him, held his hand as he tried to speak, her tears falling freely down her face. She didn’t know what had possessed her to tell him about her father’s accident and his heart transplant and the little girl who was still alive because of him. But then he had been smiling at her through his mask, his pain still shining through in his eyes, and she knew that it had been the right choice. She had told him that she loved him, for what reason she wasn’t entirely sure, but she thought that he should know. She had hoped that maybe it would have been enough to make him stronger, that maybe it would have given him the strength to keep fighting until he got his new lungs.

But, alas, she had been wrong. She had waited not so patiently in Leanne’s office for word of the surgery. Her heart pounding in her chest as she avoided her phone at all costs. She wanted nothing more than to call Ethan, to hear his reassuring voice talk her through the toughest time of her life. But every time she turned the phone on, the image of her and Max smiling back at her on her lock screen broke her heart in two, so she had tossed the object aside. When Leanne had finally come down to talk to her, to tell her that Max hadn’t survived, that someone else was getting his lungs, she felt her whole world come crashing down around her. 

She had yelled at Leanne, worse than she had ever yelled at her before, and when she stormed past her and out the office door she could almost hear her mother’s heart breaking in her chest. She knew that it wasn’t Leanne’s fault, she knew that it was no one’s fault, but blaming someone had made her feel better in that instance, whether it was the right thing to do or not. She had wandered the hospital for a bit after that, her headphones working to drown out the sounds around her. She just wanted to go home. She wanted to go to bed and forget that this day had ever happened. 

When Leanne had finally escorted her out of Angels, her arm around her shoulders, and understanding look in her eyes, she had been incredibly thankful. She had showered almost as soon as they had made it through the door and she had stood under the hot spray and cried for what felt like hours. After thirty minutes she felt the water start to run cold and she had dried off and pulled on her pajamas without so much as blinking. The next thing she knew she was crawling into Leanne’s bed, her body collapsing back against the soft pillows as the woman wrapped her arms around her tightly.

They must have fallen asleep within minutes, because Ariel didn’t remember anything else up until this given moment. And all she felt was pain. She felt her body shoot straight up in the bed, shaking from the impact of the nightmare she had just had. She felt a hand press against her back, the bed shifting beside her as the other person moved to sit as well, and she expected to hear Leanne’s voice ringing softly through the dimly lit room. But instead, it wasn’t Leanne’s voice, rather, it was Ethan’s, and she felt her heart calm instantly in her chest.

“Shhh Angel,” His hand moved up and down her back slowly as he spoke, “I’m here.”

“Daddy?” She didn’t know what had possessed her to call him that, she had never referred to him in person as her father before. But she had called Leanne ‘mom’ earlier and it had felt right. Just as right as it had to say the word to him.

“Yeah baby, it’s me.” He whispered softly, his head moving to rest against hers as he pressed a soft kiss to her hair. She wondered why he didn’t say anything about the use of the title in reference to him, she wondered if maybe he thought that she was thinking her real father was there. After everything that had happened the past few months though, Ethan was just as much her father as her real dad had ever been.

“Where’s mom?” She didn’t know why exactly she asked for the woman. She knew that Ethan was perfectly capable of taking care of her himself.

“In the shower.” His words were soft and he didn’t seem the least bit phased that she was questioning what was going on around her. She was thankful for his patience.

“Oh okay.” She sobbed out. She felt him lean back against the pillows once more, pulling her down with him gently. She let out a sigh as she settled against his side, her head moving to rest against his chest, her arm wrapping around his stomach tightly. She had needed him so much last night and now that he was here she didn’t want to let him go.

“You okay?” His question was so quiet that she barely heard it and she guessed that he probably didn’t want to stir anything up. Clearly she wasn’t okay, but he was always one to give her the benefit of the doubt.

“No.” She choked out, her eyes closing as another round of tears formed in her eyes. She felt Ethan’s arm tighten around her shoulders as he pressed another kiss to her head.

“You wanna talk?” She hated that he was so calm and relaxed about this. But then again, she wondered if Leanne had bothered to tell him what had happened last night.

“No.” She snuggled closer, another sob leaving her lips as she tried to fight off the urge to fall apart right then and there.

“You wanna go back to sleep?” She wanted nothing more than to sleep right now. But she knew that she had school and that Leanne was a stickler for attendance, as was he, and she figured that even after all the heartbreak she had experienced she wasn’t going to wiggle her way out of that one.

“What about school?” Her question was whispered, her head titling upward so that she could get a look at the man’s face. His eyes were closed but she could tell that they were swollen, and he looked more exhausted than she had ever seen him. She wondered if he had had just as shitty of a night as she.

“I have a feeling school isn’t gonna happen today is it?” He opened his eyes then, looking down at her softly as he spoke, and she felt her heart break in her chest when she realized that his eyes were just as blood shot and tear stained as she was sure hers were.

“You guys won’t be mad?” She hiccuped, her body shuttering as another wave of sadness came over her.

“I have a feeling you have a good reason.” He whispered, his hand smoothing her hair back as he offered her a soft smile.

“Thank you.” She dropped her head back to his chest, her eyes filling up with tears once more. She clung to him tightly as he pressed a kiss to her forehead, his body relaxing against hers.

“You’re welcome honey.” His voice was gentle, his hand moving to rub up and down her back as he did his best to soothe her back to sleep. “Go back to sleep.” And that’s exactly what she did, snuggled up in her father’s arms, she felt herself finally relax some after the past 24 hours of nothing but pure chaos, and she fell into a deeper sleep than she had in days.

——

Leanne had emerged from the shower and dried off quickly, her ears straining for any kind of sounds coming from the bedroom, but instead, there was nothing but silence. She had been surprised when Ethan had crawled into bed with them earlier that morning, and even more surprised when he had stayed with them after she had shut him down so quickly. She hadn’t meant for her words to be harsh, she hadn’t meant to hurt him, but she had been so tired and so drained and she didn’t want to talk. Just like she didn’t want to talk now.

When she emerged from the bedroom she let out a soft sigh at the sight of the teen curled up in the middle of the bed, her eyes closed as she clung to Ethan like he was going to vanish into thin air. She made note of the rise and fall of the man’s chest, indicating that he too, was asleep, and she felt her heart beat speed up. She would never get tired of seeing him show such affection toward the girl, and she would certainly never get tired of seeing the girl loving him just as much. After pulling on a pair of sweat pants and an old t-shirt she made her way downstairs quietly, closing the door behind her in hopes of allowing the two some much needed sleep.

About an hour later she had heard the stairs creek and she was shocked when she looked up and saw Ethan making his way toward her. He looked downright exhausted, his eyes still swollen, his face still red and sad looking. She could tell that he was hurting and she wished she knew how to help. He made himself a cup of coffee and she watched as he stared at her with sleepy eyes as she made her way toward him.

“Morning.” She whispered, her hands going out to rest against his chest as she stopped in front of him.

“Morning.” His voice was rough and scratchy and she could tell that it was from both yelling, and from crying, and it made her sick to her stomach to think that he had had it that rough yesterday too.

“You sleep okay?” She should have known the answer to that question would be one she didn’t want to hear. She was sure that he had probably had one eye open the entire time he had been with her last night.

“Eh.” He shrugged his shoulders as he took a sip of his coffee, his face relaxing some at the warmth of the liquid. “What happened yesterday?” He asked quietly, his eyes locking with hers as he placed his cup behind him on the counter.

“Ethan please.” Pulling away from him she took a few steps back, her eyes closing as she pleaded with him. She knew it was wrong because they really should talk, but she really didn’t want to have this conversation right now. Not when her head still hurt from all the crying and her heart still ached from all the pain and all the drama. All she wanted to do was curl up in his arms and shut out of the world and forget that any of this had happened. 

“Leanne, don’t do this,” His eyes pleaded with her and she could feel him reaching out for her, figuratively and literally, “don’t shut me out.”

“Ariel didn’t talk to you?” She felt his hands fall to her waist as he moved to stand behind her and she dropped her head forward, her eyes filling with tears as she asked him about the teen.

“She said she didn’t wanna talk.” He whispered, his head falling against hers, his lips gentle against the back of her neck as he urged her to turn around.

“Max came in yesterday by ambulance.” She could barely get the words out, and she wasn’t even to the worst part yet. 

“Yeah.” She wondered how he knew about what had happened, he had been gone all day with no communication to them since he had kissed her goodbye the night before. “Noa told me he was in rough shape.”

“He couldn’t breath.” She choked out her words as she turned in his arms, her eyes filling with tears as she spoke. “God Ethan it was horrible. They… they got him prepped for the transplant, the lungs, they were right there, but…”

“But what? What happened?” She could see the fear in his eyes, the way he seemed to instantly know that something wasn’t right with what she was saying to him. She dropped her head to his chest as she let out a sob and when he pulled her closer, his head falling against hers as he pressed a kiss to her ear, she felt her body start to tremble. “Did something go wrong?”

“He was drowning in his own blood.” She couldn’t shake the image of the poor kid on the operating room table, blood pouring from his lips as he coughed and coughed, his body writhing in pain. It was an image she wanted to get rid of and never see again. “Campbell… he couldn’t save him.”

“He died?” His question was so soft that she barely heard it, but she could feel the tension in his body, the way he locked up with the question. She knew that his fear about the boy’s death was just as real as hers and she hated that they were having to go through this.

“Yeah. Right there on the operating room table.” She sobbed out, her eyes closing as she clung to him tightly. “He was so close Ethan… so close…”

“Shhh babe, it’s okay.” He pulled her even closer, if that was even possible, and dropped another kiss against her head. “It’s okay.”

“Ariel, she…” She didn’t even want to fathom having to talk about the heart break their daughter was experiencing right now. It hurt her too much to think that she was going through so much, “she didn’t handle him being there well.”

“How so?” He asked as he pulled back from her some, his hands going to frame her face as he brushed her tears back with his thumbs. He tangled his fingers in her hair as he dropped his forehead to hers and she let out a soft sigh at the intimacy of the gesture.

“She refused to see him.” She knew that Ariel had been hurting after what had happened in Center Stage. And especially after the way she had yelled at her in front of everyone. But she didn’t think it was right of her to push herself so far away from the boy. “Didn’t want to talk to him.”

“Please tell me she did.” Ethan was pleading with her and she felt her heart break at the way his voice was choppy and broken. She could tell he was afraid for the girl, that he was worried that she hadn’t gotten a chance to say ‘goodbye’, just like neither one of them had gotten to say those precious words to their loved ones before they died. “Please tell me she did before he died.”

“She did. She told him she loved him Ethan.” She blinked back her tears as she locked eyes with him and she saw his heart break in the gray orbs staring back at her. “Our little girl…”

“It’s okay.” He whispered, pulling her back into his arms with a gentle hush. “Shhhh, love. It’s okay.”

“She’s been so strong.” She sobbed into his shoulder, her hands fisting around his t-shirt as she clung to him like a lifeline.

“She’s tough.” He said softly and Leanne could practically hear the pride in his voice.

“Too tough. I just want her to stop being so afraid.” And that was true. She wanted her to start feeling things, to stop shutting everything and everyone around her out. Leanne had been there, after her accident, after her family had been taken from her. She had been stone cold for so long and she had lost out on so much. It wasn’t until Ethan had come along that she truly started to open up, to start to feel again. He had saved her life. Just like she was hoping he would save Ariel’s. “To stop acting like nothing has happened.”

“I don’t think she’s feeling that way anymore Lea.” She figured that he must have witnessed her falling apart while she had been in the shower. That something must have happened that made him realize that she was breaking.

“What do we do for her?” She asked softly, pulling back from him once more. She smoothed her hands over his t-shirt slowly, letting out a gentle hiccup as he brushed the hair out of her eyes and back behind her ears. She would never get over how gentle he was with her, how she could feel how much he loved her with every touch.

“The same thing we talked about the other night babe.” He whispered, his lips pressing a kiss to her forehead as he leaned forward. “We support her and we comfort her and we love her until she’s not so broken anymore.”

“How do you recover from this?” She could barely get her question out because she realized how incredibly right Ethan was about everything. “I mean, first her mother. Than her father. Now this. How can someone so young make this better?”

“Maybe she can’t Leanne.” His words sent a chill down her spine and she sniffled as she ran her hands up to his shoulders, clinging to him as he whispered to her. “Maybe we have to do it for her.”

“I’m so scared for her Ethan.” She sobbed out, her body wracking with another wave of sobs as she fell back against his chest. Her heart was breaking for the girl laying upstairs, for the pain she was going through, for the fear she must have been feeling.

“I know hun.” He whispered against her ear, his lips pressing kisses to the side of her head as his hands ran up and down her back gently. “So am I.”


	37. Hero (part 3)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the day that he had just had, Ethan needed his family, until he realized that they needed him so much more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *So 3x09 has officially broken me and I desperately needed to see some love between our favorite family. So here it is!  
> **This will be one super long chapter, broken down into 2-3 parts and posted separately. That way I don’t have to leave you guys hanging while I finish it out.  
> *** **Spoilers for 3x09**

Part 3 **(SMUT warning)**

Ethan had stood in the kitchen with Leanne tucked against his chest for what felt like hours. In reality, it had only been about ten minutes, but the way she clung to him, the way her body shook in his arms, made him never want to let her go. But then Ariel had let out a scream from upstairs, her voice calling for him in a tone he’d never heard before, and he had dropped his arms from around the woman and took off up the stairs faster than he’d ever thought possible.

He had sat with Ariel for another hour, rubbing her back and doing his best to soothe her as she sobbed into his shoulder like a small child. He could feel his heart breaking at watching his little girl in so much pain. He had never seen her fall apart like this and he wondered if Leanne was right, he wondered if she would ever be whole again. She had called him ‘daddy’ again, begging for him not to leave her, and he had given in, his heart tightening as she referred to him by the title once more. He had never heard her refer to him like that, not even to Leanne, and it made his heart swell. He sure as hell felt like her father, especially after everything they had been through together, and he was glad that she was noticing it too.

After he had finally gotten her calmed down, her body finally giving in to sleep, he had slipped out of the bed without a word, his long legs carrying him toward the bathroom. He had sobbed through his entire shower, his heart completely and utterly overwhelmed after everything that had happened the past 24 hours. He couldn’t believe his entire world was falling apart like this. All the memories from Jack’s death were coming back to haunt him, and his fight with his dad, his words about not having any son’s left, it had been the final straw. There was no going back from there. He knew what he had to do. He knew that he had get rid of that house and cut off the last tie that he had to his father. He just didn’t know where he would go from there.

He wanted to ask Leanne if he could move in with them, at least temporally, until he could find a new place, but he knew that it was too soon. He knew that she would say ‘no’ and that kind of rejection would be the absolute end of him. He had let out a sob at the thought, his hand gripping onto the towel rack in the shower as the water ran cold, his body too exhausted to move. The sound of movement in the bedroom had forced him to leave the shower, and he had dried off and pulled on his clothes as quick as possible, fearful that Ariel had awoken once more and was looking for him.

But when he stepped into the bedroom he saw her still curled up in the large bed, her blonde hair a mess against the gray sheets, her hand gripping onto the comforter tightly. He could tell that she was miserable, her face all scrunched up in pain, even in her sleep, and he would have given anything to make her feel better, to take away her pain. He knew that he had things he needed to do, that there was a laundry list of items waiting for him to take care of, including a giant pile of laundry, but he couldn’t bare to leave the girl alone. And even though he knew Leanne was home, and that she was perfectly capable of taking care of the teen, he couldn’t bear to pull himself away from her.

So instead he had crawled back into the bed beside her, pulling her tightly against him as he leaned back against the pillows with a sigh. He grabbed the TV remote and turned on some cooking show, praying that it would help distract him from all the chaos in his head. It had worked for a little while, until Ariel had woken up sobbing again, this time her strained voice pleading with him to make it stop. He had sobbed as he tried to tell her that he didn’t know how, that he didn’t know what to do, but that he was there for her, that he loved her and that it would be okay one day. She had fallen back asleep a few minutes later, her arms wrapped around him so tight it was almost uncomfortable, but he didn’t dare tell her to move.

They had spent the day like that, snuggled together in Leanne’s bed, watching TV and napping. Leanne had crawled in with them a little after two in the afternoon and they had both worked on trying to comfort the girl when another wave of panic had come over her. She had clung to them both as she sobbed for it all to go away and he had almost had to remove himself from the situation, the pain in his little girl’s voice almost enough to do him in. But then she had called him ‘dad’ again, this time in front of Leanne, and he couldn’t help but tug her closer as he hushed her softly, telling her how much he loved her and that he would never stop.

Leanne hadn’t said anything to him after that, just eyed him softly as he soothed the girl back to sleep. Her phone had rung from somewhere in the house and she slowly untangled herself from their embrace, disappearing through the door just as sleep overtook them both. When he had awoken a few hours later the house was dark, and his eyes searched for the red numbers on the clock nearby. 9:49 stared back at him and he did a double take, he couldn’t believe they had been asleep for almost 6 hours. Sighing, he gently extracted himself from the girl’s grasp, rolling over and heading straight for the bathroom. He stepped out a minute later, his eyes doing their best to adjust to the darkness around him, but all he could make out was the rise and fall of the girl’s shoulder as she slept soundly, her body curled in on itself like that of a small child. He leaned down, dropping a kiss to her head as he pulled the covers over her gently, and then headed out of the room.

He searched the upstairs for Leanne, but there was no sign of her, and when he made his way downstairs he was just as surprised to find she was nowhere in sight. Sighing softly, he made his way out onto the back deck, his eyes finally catching sight of her sitting on one of the patio chairs. He could make out a bottle of wine on the table in front of her and he was surprised to see that it was still half way full. She was a better person than he was because he surely would have finished off the entire thing by now.

“Save any for me?” He asked quietly, making his way toward her with gentle steps.

“Yes.” Her reply was short and when she looked up he could see the tears in her eyes, the tiredness on her face making him ache for her. “Didn’t say I was gonna share though.”

He let out a soft chuckle as he stopped in front of her, his eyes searching hers for permission to join her. She offered him the saddest smile he thought he had ever seen before standing, allowing him to move to sit in the chair she had just vacated. He leaned back against the soft cushion, his arms going out to reach for her gently. She wasted no time in climbing into his lap, her legs draping over his as she snuggled close to his chest, a soft sob escaping her lips as she dropped her head to his shoulder.

“You okay?” His question was whispered and he wondered for a second if she had heard it, but then she was shaking her head and she was sobbing once more and he felt like a total jerk for bringing this all back up again. 

They sat there for a few minutes, him with his arms around her tightly, her with her head nuzzled against his neck. He knew they should talk, that there were so many unanswered questions ahead of them both, but right now he just wanted to relish in the feeling of her in his arms. She was the only safe place he had left in this world, her and Ariel, and he knew now that if he ever lost either one of them he would surely be done for.

“Your call last night…” She whispered her words and he did a double take as she lifted her head slightly, eyeing him through her tears. 

“Yeah.” He didn’t know if there was a question there, or if she was just stating a simple fact, so he replied simply, leaving the door open for her to carry on this conversation however she wanted.

“You said you needed me, us.” She reached up with her right hand then, her fingers resting gently against his cheek as she spoke softly. “What changed?”

“Nothing changed.” He whispered back, his eyes filling with tears at the simple thought. He had needed them, more than he had ever needed anyone in his entire life. He had been unable to focus without them there to calm him. “Why do you think I crawled into bed with at three in the morning?”

“But you haven’t said a word about it all day.” And he hadn’t. It wasn’t his place. His girls needed him. His daughter needed him. And that was way more important than any need he would ever have. “You’ve been nothing but supportive, to both of us. Hell, you haven’t let Ariel out of your sight. What about you? Are you okay?”

“As long as I’m with you guys I’m gonna be okay.” He said softly. And that part was true as well. Just their presence had been enough to make him feel somewhat better. Just knowing that they were safe and that they were there, that was enough to make his heart beat a little slower.

“What happened?” Her question was soft, not prying or pleading, and for once he felt like he could be completely honest with her, like he could finally bare his soul to her and have her love him just the same.

“A friend of my brother’s died.” He didn’t know why he had such a hard time getting those words out but he felt his voice catch as he spoke, his eyes filling with tears once more. “One of the men in his unit.”

“I’m sorry to hear that Ethan.” She sounded sincere, her fingers moving to run through his hair in a way she knew comforted him. He was so thankful for her touch, for the fact that she had such a gentle way about her, a touch that could soothe every woe.

“Dad and I, we went to the funeral.” Speaking about his father was hard, real hard, and after their fight he wasn’t sure if he would ever be able to talk about him again without his heart tightening in his chest and his throat drying up.

“That was nice of you.” He could see the respect in her eyes, the way she was trying to be understanding and supportive.

“Yeah, sure.” He sure as fuck didn’t feel like he deserved it though. Not when the memories from the funeral came rushing back to him.

“Something tells me that you didn’t get any closure from that trip?” She brought her hand back to his cheek, her thumb brushing over his trembling lips as she eyed him softly.

“Turns out the guy, my brother’s friend…” He could feel his heart racing in his chest as he tried to form the words he needed to say, “he killed himself.”

“Oh.” He saw the despair in her eyes almost instantly and he leaned forward, his forehead falling against hers as she tightened her grip on his chin.

“He’s the third guy from Jack’s unit to do so.” This was becoming harder and harder to talk about and he felt like he was going to suffocate, like his whole world was closing in on him.

“How did Jack feel about that?” Hearing Leanne say his brother’s name did him in and he couldn’t help but let out a sob as he closed his eyes against the tears.

“I don’t know.” He whispered, his eyes opening so that he could eye her softly. “He was the first one to go.”

“Ethan…?” He could hear the hesitation in her voice, the way her eyes darkened when some sort of realization hit her.

“Apparently he got them in some trouble over there. They killed a bunch of kids because of bad intel.” He could still hear Damien’s words in the back of his mind, the horror in the man’s voice as he recounted for him the mission that had made everything fall apart. “Guess they never got over it, though I don’t know how you live with something like that.”

“Ethan…” She tugged him closer, her other hand moving to his cheek as she held him tightly before her. He let out another sob as he gripped her hips tightly. He was thankful for her, more thankful than he had ever been for anyone, but he hated that she was watching him fall apart like this.

“Jack hung himself.” He choked out, his voice faltering as he felt a sob wrack through his body. “Three years ago. I found his body.” 

He had never told anyone about that moment, not even Noa, not even when he had told her that he had thought of offing himself on more than one occasion. It was too hard to talk about, even with his own father, the one person in the world that he should have been able to trust with all of this. But telling Leanne, telling her felt right, and he knew that he could trust her to keep this between them.

“Oh God.” She tugged him close, her lips crashing against his in a searing kiss as she tried to drown out his sobs. He felt her body tremble against him, the weight of the conversation taking it’s toll on her as well. “Honey…” She sobbed the endearment against his lips, her forehead resting against his once more as she tangled her fingers in his hair.

“It’s why my dad wanted to sell the house.” He whispered, his eyes opening to lock with hers once more.   
“He couldn’t handle knowing that Jack had taken his life there and that he was still having to being reminded of it.”

“I’m so sorry Ethan.” He could tell that she was being sincere, that she was horrified by what he had told her, that her heart was breaking for him. It killed him knowing that she would now have to carry this burden too. That this secret was now hers as well.

“My dad…” He gasped out, swallowing as he tried to compose himself, “we got into it.”

“You fought?” She scratched at his scalp gently, her breath sounds evening out some as she tried her best to relax for him.

“It was bad Lea.” He mumbled, his eyes closing at the memory. He could steal hear the sound of his father’s hand connecting with his cheek echoing in his mind. “The worst it’s ever been. He slapped me. Told me he was done with me. He basically told me that I was dead to him.”

“I… I can’t believe he would do that to you.” He could practically feel her heart breaking for him. He knew that she had been trying to give his father the benefit of the doubt, that she had done her best to try and get through to the man when she had met with him at Angels. But he knew that this would do her in, that this would be the final straw for her.

“It’s fine. It’s not like I wanted a relationship with him.” Which was true, he didn’t, he never had. But at the very least, he wanted his father’s respect. He didn’t think that was too much to ask for. “But… it’s almost like he blamed me for what happened.”

“It’s not your fault babe.” She whispered, her lips pressing against his softly once more. “Please don’t think that. Please don’t believe him.”

“I couldn’t save him…” He sobbed, his heart shattering in his chest as he laid all his fears out there for her to see. He had never been so openly vulnerable with anyone. Not even Jack, not even after their mother had died. He had never truly fallen apart in front of anyone but his own reflection.

“It sounds like no one could Ethan.” Her voice was so soft, so soothing and relaxing and he felt like she was surely an angel that was sent to save him. “That’s not your fault.”

“I… I don’t wanna lose you.” He whispered, his hands gripping at her sides roughly as he tried to pull her closer. She moved to straddle his hips, her knees falling against his sides as she gripped his face tightly.

“Why would you lose me?” Her question was full of pain and fear and a worry that he had never heard there before and it killed him knowing that he had done that to her.

“I’m broken.” He could barely get the words out. He could barely think straight anymore. He just wanted to crawl into a deep, dark hole and never come out. “This… you guys deserve so much more than this.”

“I don’t care what you think we deserve Ethan.” She said softly, her forehead resting against his as she held him close. “This is what we want.”

“I don’t know if I can be the man you need me to be.” And he really didn’t. After everything that he had put her through, after all the lying and the fighting and the torment that he had done to her. He couldn’t fathom why she still wanted to be with him. Why she still felt like she needed him around. “The father that she needs. I don’t know if I can do that.”

“You’re already doing it. You hear me?” She pulled back some then, her eyes locking with his as she spoke up. “I don’t know a single grown man who would have let a fourteen year old, who isn’t even biologically their child, cling to them like a lifeline for almost twelve hours straight.” He hoped that she knew that he would do anything for that girl. Even it meant letting her use him as a human teddy bear all day. “And after everything that you went through yesterday, you still came here, and worried about us. You’ve been fussing over us both all day and you haven’t asked for a thing. Not even a hug.” He felt like he would have been selfish if he asked for the attention to be taken off the teen, even for one second. Even this conversation was killing him. He prayed that Ariel had stayed asleep, that she hadn’t woken up and started calling for one of them. He would never forgive himself if she needed them and they weren’t there for her simply because he couldn’t get his emotions in check. “You’re more than capable of being what we need Ethan. You already do more than we could ever ask for.”

“But my dad…” He didn’t know what his dad had to do with anything, because as far as he was concerned the man was no longer a part of his life.

“You’re dad is a fucking asshole.” Hearing the f-bomb leave Leanne’s lips shouldn’t have been something that he found sexy, especially not in that moment, but there was something about the way she practically growled it out that made his heart beat a little faster in his chest.

“I don’t think you’ve ever been more right about anything.” He saw the small smile on her lips and he ran his hands up her back as he pulled her back to him, his lips pressing agains hers softly as her fingers stilled at the base of his skull.

“We need you here Ethan. This doesn’t change that.” She whispered as she pulled away from the kiss, her eyes shining behind her own layer of tears. “Knowing that you’re a little cracked, just like us, it doesn’t change anything. We’re a family. You hear me?”

“You guys are my world. Both of you. I wouldn’t be able to do this without you.” He had never spoken truer words in his life and he prayed that she understood just how much he meant what he was saying. “It’s not just her that I love. It’s not just her that I can’t live without. You know that right?”

“I know Ethan.” She whispered softly, her fingers gripping at the back of his head as he heard her let out a soft sigh.

“I love you. Both of you.” He whispered back, his hands moving to grip her cheeks gently against his palms. “More than anything. I know it’s too soon and I don’t expect you to say it back, but it’s true. I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life.”

He watched as she blinked repeatedly, her eyes filling with more tears as the first set fell down her cheeks. He knew that his confession was intense, that it was something she never expected, but he had to say it to her. He had to let her know that he was serious about this, that this relationship wasn’t something he was going to fuck around with. Not this time, not after everything. He loved her so much that it hurt, so much that he didn’t know what to do about it. He just hoped that she wasn’t scared by his words, that he hadn’t broken her with his feelings.

“I love you too.” She whispered back, her hands moving back to his cheeks as she pulled him in, her lips pressing against his softly. He smiled against her lips, his hands tangling in her hair as he pulled her as close as humanly possibly. “I love you too.” She sobbed in between kisses, her hands moving to run down his neck and to his shoulders, her arms wrapping around his neck as she pulled him close.

He wondered for a second how incredibly inappropriate it would be to have his way with her right there on the back deck, but he knew that in their current state of mind being adventurous would surely not work to their advantage. So instead, he stood up, lifting her up with him in one swift motion, and he made his way toward the back door. They made it inside surprisingly quickly, and safely, which was a miracle given the fact that his hands were busy pulling her shirt over her head and unhooking her bra, their lips only parting for the removal of clothing and nothing more.

Lowering her gently against the plush couch he pulled back from her slightly, his ears perking up to listen for any sounds of the teen moving about, but all he heard was silence, save for Leanne’s quickened breaths as she tried to pull him back down to her. He let out a soft chuckle as he settled himself on top of her, his hands going to run down her bare chest as he dropped his head to her neck. He felt her squirm when his hands made contact with her breasts, and she let out a gasp when his lips followed his hands movement. 

“Ethan…” She pleaded softly, her hands moving to grip his hair as he dropped a kiss to her belly button. “Please.”

He looked up at her and he could practically feel the lust radiating off of her. It had only been a few days since they had been intimate, but damn did it feel like it had been months. He slowly kissed his way back up her chest, stopping to drop his forehead against hers as he tried to catch his breath.

“We have to be real quiet.” He whispered, like she didn’t already know that their fourteen year old was very likely going to walk in on them if they didn’t watch out.

“That’s fine.” She almost snapped her words at him and he could see the tension in her eyes, the way her hand was gripping his bicep, her legs trembling beneath him. 

He dropped a soft kiss to her lips as his hands quickly made work of the drawstring on her sweats, pulling them down in one swift motion. He ran his hand along her thigh as he deepened the kiss, his fingers tugging gently on the elastic of her underwear. She moaned against his lips as he dragged the material down and he couldn’t help but smile when he felt her shaking fingers push at the waistband of his track pants. Pulling back slightly he dropped his head back down to her neck, nipping softly at the skin when she grazed her hand over his erection as she pushed his boxers down as well.

“Eaaasy.” He growled out, his hands stilling against her waist as she wrapped her legs around his waist, pulling him as close to her as possible. He felt her let out a low chuckle, her throat vibrating under his lips as he moved his head to the other side of her neck.

He slid into her with ease, his eyes closing as she let out a soft hum, her hands moving to tangle in his hair. She tugged him as close as possible, her fingers tightening around the shorter strands on the back of his skull as he stayed put for a minute, allowing her the time to adjust. He lifted his head up then, his right hand moving upward to cup her cheek as he eyed her softly. She was truly the most beautiful woman in the world, both inside and out, and he couldn’t believe how incredibly lucky he was to call her his.

“I love you.” She whispered, her hands pulling his head downward so that she could kiss him as she thrust upward against his hips. He was shocked to hear her say the words first this time. He surely thought he had months to go before she did that. “I love you so goddamn much.”

He could tell by the look in her eyes, the way she was smiling up at him despite the tears, that she meant every last word of what she was saying to him. And it made his heart race in his chest.

“I love you too.” He whispered back, his thumb brushing over her cheek softly, doing his best to dry her tears as he thrust into her. 

He wanted to make this last, to cherish this moment for as long as possible, but he knew that there was no way that either one of them would survive if he did that. So he picked up his pace, his hands tightening their grip against her hip and her head as he held on to her for dear life. He watched as she closed her eyes, her head falling backward against the couch cushions as she clung to him tightly, her hips meeting him thrust for thrust. It didn’t long to get her to the edge, and when she dragged her nails down his bare back, the fingers of her other hand tightening around his hair as she kissed him senseless, he felt himself reach his breaking point as well. He dug his fingers into her hip so hard that he was sure there would be a bruise there tomorrow, but in that moment, he figured that neither one of them cared.

He felt her shudder underneath of him as she came, her legs falling against the couch cushions as she gripped at his shoulders, her teeth tugging on his bottom lip as she did her best not to cry out. He kissed her deeper, his tongue tangling with hers as he felt himself finally let go, and when she whimpered against his lips he felt his entire world come crashing down around them. He pulled back after a minute, his body needing a chance to breath, his mind reeling as he dropped his head to her chest. She ran her fingers through his sweat soaked hair as he collapsed on top of her, his breathing ragged as he let his ear rest just above her heart.

They laid that way for a minute, both working as hard as possible to catch their breath, their bodies completely still save for the their breathing. When he finally pulled back from her he could see the tears in her eyes and it broke his heart. He hated seeing her cry.

“What’s wrong love?” He whispered softly, pulling from within her as he reversed their positions with ease. He settled her against his chest with a gentle sigh, his hand grabbing for the blanket on the back of the couch as he heard her let out a soft sob.

“Nothing.” He knew that it wasn’t nothing, but he didn’t want to push her, so instead he dropped a soft kiss to her head, his arms tightening around her as he let the blanket cover their bare bodies. He prayed that Ariel would stay asleep for a little while longer. Not only did he not want to break his connection with Leanne, but he also didn’t want to try and explain to her why they were naked on the couch. Although, he figured, she was more than old enough to know ‘why’ they were naked on the couch.

“Okay babe.” He pressed another kiss to her head, his right arm settling against her bare hip as his left hand moved to rest on her arm. “I’m here if you need to talk.”

She nodded her head against his chest and he felt her body start to relax on top of his, her arm settling around his waist as she dropped a kiss to his chest. He thought for second that she was going to speak, but she didn’t, instead she let out a soft sigh, her legs tangling with hers.

“What if she never gets to have this?” Her question sent his mind for a whirl and he felt his breath hitch in his chest. He had been thinking the exact thing about the girl. Not that he ever wanted to think about, or know about, his daughter having sex with anyone, but he knew just what Leanne meant. “What if she’s so broken by this that she never moves on? What if she never loves again?”

“I’m sure she will love.” He whispered, his eyes falling closed as she leaned his head against hers. He hoped that this situation, no matter how tragic and unbearable it had been, didn’t scar the girl for life. He knew better than anyone what it was like to fear moving on with life. But he also knew better than anyone what moving on with life could lead to. It had lead him to her in fact. To her and Leanne. And as broken as he had once been, he couldn’t imagine that there had ever been a time in his life when he had been afraid of this. “Look at us. Look how far we’ve come. Who would’ve thought that we would have found each other.”

“Or her?” She looked up at him with sad, brown eyes and he felt his whole world stop. 

“Or her.” He dropped a kiss to her head as he tugged her closer, his body craving the closest of contact possible. 

“I want her to be able to find love Ethan.” She whispered, her head falling back to his chest as she let out a soft sigh. “I don’t want her to be scared of the world for the rest of her life.”

“She won’t honey, I promise.” And he believed his words, because he knew his daughter, and he knew how strong she was, how capable of overcoming pain she was. He also knew that with the two of them in her life, she would never not know some kind of love. She would always have them, and he knew that as long as she had that, she would find something more and something better and that would be enough.

“I just want her to be happy.” Leanne sobbed out, her fingers curling around his hip tightly. 

“I know love.” He knew exactly what she was saying, because he was feeling it too. The girl had lost so much and she had been through so much pain. Losing her mother, and then her father so soon after that. And then living with an aunt who hated her, a foster family who neglected her, a group home where she was abused. The outbreak, the recovery, the pain from set back after set back. Then he had come around, and then he had left her, and then he had come back. And then falling in love with Max and having him taken away from her almost as quickly as he had been given to her. The poor girl had been through her fair share of heartbreaks, none of which she had deserved.

“I love you Ethan.” She whispered against his shoulder after a few minutes of silence.

“I love you too Lea.” He whispered back, his head falling against hers as he tucked her against his side. He felt her body relax even more, and then a minute later he felt her breaths even out, her body falling into what he hoped was a peaceful slumber.


	38. Hero (part 4)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the day that he had just had, Ethan needed his family, until he realized that they needed him so much more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *So 3x09 has officially broken me and I desperately needed to see some love between our favorite family. So here it is!  
> **This will be one super long chapter, broken down into 2-3 parts and posted separately. That way I don’t have to leave you guys hanging while I finish it out.  
> *** **Spoilers for 3x09**

**Part 4**

Ariel had been beyond thankful that neither Ethan nor Leanne had given her a hard time about not going to school that day. And she had been even more thankful when they had both spent the better part of the day snuggling with her and keeping her close. Her entire body had hurt, not just her heart and her head, but everything down to her toes was sore. She didn’t know if it was from the grief, or from the restless sleep, or from the combination of everything in between. All that she did know was that she was too tired to move and she had never felt so comfy nestled against the giant pillows with Ethan on one side of her and Leanne on the other.

She had spent most of the day sleeping, thankfully, and when she awoke, her dreams having shaken her body out of it’s deep sleep, she had remembered crying hysterically. She remembered clinging to Ethan at one point, begging for him to make it all stop, to make it all better, and she remembered him crying right along with her as he did his best to soothe her. Leanne had tried to calm them both at one point, that much she did know, and she remembered the woman tucking them both in quietly as they faded off to sleep. That had been the last thing she remembered before right now.

Opening her eyes slowly she looked around the room, trying to make out something, anything, that would help ground her some. She could make out Leanne’s form laying in the bed next to her, her chest rising and falling gently as she slept. She wanted to snuggle closer to her, to wrap herself up in her arms and close her eyes so that she could hopefully go back to sleep. But she knew it was pointless. She could tell that her body wasn’t going to relax again anytime soon, and she let out a huff. The last thing she wanted to do was lay here awake, and practically alone, for hours on end.

Moving quietly, she crawled from the bed, her legs carrying her down the hall toward her bathroom. She figured that a shower was a good start, and she didn’t care one bit that it was three in the morning. She knew that Leanne was unlikely to wake up, and she had no idea where Ethan had disappeared too, so she wasn’t worried about anyone barging through the door to make she was okay. After showering and drying off she made her way to her room, pulling on a clean pair of pajama bottoms and t-shirt, her ears listening out for any sounds of movement in the house. But there was nothing, not even the sound of Ethan snoring from the den, nothing. She felt her heart clench in her chest. She hoped that he hadn’t left in the middle night.

Making her way downstairs, she kept her eyes peeled despite the darkness, searching for the man she so desperately wanted to see. He wasn’t in the den though, and the kitchen and dining room were clear as well. She made her way into the front room, her eyes scanning the couch for his body, but it wasn’t there. She choked back a sob, fearful that he had gotten scared away by everything that had happened. Fearful that he couldn’t handle her being broken like this. He always relied on her to be so strong. She got ready to head back upstairs when she heard the porch swing creak, the sound of bare-feet hitting the floorboards of the front porch, and she stopped in her tracks.

“That you kid?” Ethan’s voice was soft as he stopped in front of the screen door, his eyes glistening in the soft moonlight.

“Yeah dad,” She felt the title slip from her lips once more and she couldn’t help but notice the small smile that came over his face at the word, “just me.”

“You okay?” She nodded her head but she realized that he probably couldn’t see her that well, so she moved toward the door, stopping just inside of it, her eyes filling with tears as she saw just how exhausted he looked.

“Can’t sleep.” She whispered, her hand moving to push the door open, watching as he stepped back with a soft sigh.

“Yeah, me neither.” He moved back to his spot on the porch swing, his head tilting backward as he closed his eyes. She felt horrible knowing that he was hurting too. She just wanted to make him feel better. She just wanted them all to feel better.

“Can I sit with you?” She barely heard herself ask the question, but his head lifted up and he offered her a soft smile as he made room for her.

“Absolutely.” His reply was soft as he patted the spot next to him and she practically ran the short distance toward him.

She snuggled against his side the second her bottom hit the seat and she let out a sniffle as she felt his arm tighten around her shoulders. He pressed a kiss to her head before allowing his head to fall against hers with a soft sigh. They sat that way for a few minutes, his fingers running up and down her arm as he did his best to comfort her. She could tell that he was trying to comfort himself as well, his body trembling slight under her arm as she wrapped it around his waist.

“I told Max that I loved him.” She didn’t what had possessed her to tell him that. It’s not like that was the kind of detail most teenagers shared with their fathers. But yet, it felt right to let him in on that part of her world, especially given the circumstances.

“That’s what Leanne said.” He whispered, his arm squeezing around her shoulders as he kissed her head once more. “That was brave of you kid. I’m sure that helped make him feel better.”

“It didn’t help though.” She sniffled, burying her face against his shoulder.

“No love, I suppose, in the end, it didn’t.” His words were meant to be helpful, that much she knew, but right then they weren’t what she wanted to hear. However, she knew that Ethan wasn’t one to sugarcoat things for her, even in the bad times. And his complete and total honesty with her was one of the reasons she loved, and trusted him, so much. “But if you made him happy in that moment. If you gave him even the slightest glimmer of hope, the slightest bit of peace in his darkening world, than it was worth it.”

“You think so?” She lifted her head up, her eyes searching for his in the darkness. 

“I know so.” He winked at her softly, his lips curling upward in a knowing smile. 

She knew that he was right. She knew that even if her words hadn’t been enough to save Max’s life, that they had at least given him some peace of mind in his darkest hour. She at least had that to look back on. To know that he loved her and that she loved him. She supposed, in the grand scheme of things, that was probably better than most people got.

Take Leanne for example. She had never gotten to say goodbye to her husband. Her two children had died alone, without their parents there to comfort them. She had had to kiss cold, dead bodies one last time, not living, breathing ones. And Ethan, from what she understood of his brother’s death, he had never had the chance to say goodbye to him either. She knew that was something that haunted them both. And while she may not have gotten to say those exact words to him, she supposed that her ‘I love you’ was probably even better. 

“He was gonna take me to the dance you know?” She dropped her head back down, another soft sob leaving her lips as she thought about the dance. She was thankful that she hadn’t bought her dress yet, that she hadn’t made any concrete plans other than simply going.

“Yeah. I know.” His reply was so soft and she felt his hand squeeze her upper arm as he spoke. She didn’t understand how he could have had any clue about the dance. She had only just told Leanne hours before everything went to hell. And she knew that they hadn’t spoken until he climbed into bed with them last night.

“How…?” She whispered, pulling away from him slightly. 

“Turns out, Max got tired of waiting for you to introduce us.” She let out a gasp at his words. She couldn’t believe what he was saying to her right now.

“What?” She knew her eyes were wide and that she had to look absolutely insane looking up at him like that. But she was so incredibly confused by what he was saying to her.

“He found me in the hospital the other day.” He stated, matter of factly, his eyes soft in the moonlit night. “Introduced himself. He was very polite. Said that he wanted to talk to me about something.”

“He didn’t?” She dropped her head forward, burying her face in her hands as she let out a huff.

“He sure did.” Ethan’s hand moved to rub up and down her back. She was thankful that he wasn’t pushing her, but rather, that he seemed to understand her confusion. He also seemed to respect it, something she wasn’t sure was possible. “He asked if he could take you to the dance. I was honored to be honest with you.”

“He never told me that.” She whispered, her heart seizing in her chest. She wished she had known that the two had met. She wished she could have seen them interact. It was hard knowing that she had missed out on something so special simply because she had been afraid to introduce them.

“He wanted it to be a secret.” He leaned forward then, pressing a kiss to her head as he pulled her back against his side. “He knew that you had talked to Leanne about it, but he felt wrong, taking you out like that when he’d never even shook your father’s hand.”

“Did you shake his hand?” She felt tears pooling in her eyes and she bit her lip to try and keep from crying. She was terrified of his answer. She didn’t want to know. 

“I sure did.” His voice was soft as he rested his head on top of hers.

“I can’t believe he didn’t tell me.” She felt her whole body shudder as she let out a sob. She couldn’t believe that Max had respected her enough to have asked her father for permission to take her somewhere. She also couldn’t believe that Ethan had respected her enough to say ‘yes’.

“I’m sure it would have come up eventually.” He hugged her close as he spoke and she figured that at this point it was just as much for his benefit as it was for hers.

“I miss him.” She sobbed, her body finally giving in as the tears poured from her eyes.

“I know baby.” He whispered, his lips pressing against her head gently as he held her tight.

“Will it ever get better?” She asked after a few minutes, her heart beat finally slowing down some as Ethan did his best to soothe her. She figured she already knew the answer to that question. Judging by the haunted looks that Leanne sometimes got, the way she seemed to shut down over the littlest things, she guessed that maybe you never got over losing someone that you loved.

“No. Not really.” His reply was soft as he gently turned so that he could face her, his arm falling down slightly as he cupped her cheek gently in his hand. She could see him struggling to keep himself calm, the tears threatening to spill from his own eyes as he spoke to her. “There will be days where it won’t hurt as much, maybe not even at all. And over time, the pain will fade.” She sensed a giant ‘but’, especially when he swallowed hard, his eyes closing as he tried to gather his thoughts. “But the memory, that will never get better. That will always hurt and it will always make you cry and your heart will always ache when it’s done.”

“I really did love him.” She sobbed, her heart shattering in her chest as she confessed her feelings to him. She didn’t know if it was what people called ‘true love’ or if it was something that would have lasted forever had he lived. She would never get the chance to know that now. But in that moment, the past few months, the present time included, she had loved him, with everything that she had in her to give.

“I’m sure you did angel.” He leaned forward and pressed a kiss to her head before pressing his forehead against hers gently. “And I’m sure he really loved you. He’d have been crazy not too.”

“I don’t know what do do now.” She shivered, her arms reaching forward to wrap around him as she clung to him tightly. Just like she had done all morning and all afternoon. She was surprised that he wasn’t sick of her yet.

“Now? You cry and you wallow and you mourn.” He whispered against her head as he hugged her tightly, his arms wrapping around her shoulders as he settled one hand on the back of her head, the other rubbing soothing circles on her back. “And in a few days, when you sit down at his funeral, you’re gonna cry more tears than you’ve ever cried before.” She didn’t even want to think about attending Max’s funeral. That kind of goodbye much to permanent for her broken heart to fathom. “But then, you’re gonna get up the next morning and you’re gonna get dressed for school and you’re gonna go to work. You’re gonna come home and have dinner with me and Leanne and you’re gonna give us a hard time about doing your homework and you’ll probably stay up past your bedtime despite out pleas for you to rest.” She could hear the slight humor in his tone, the way he was trying to make light of the situation. She knew that he was trying to make her see that this was all still real life. That things would continue on just as they had before, just now she might be a little bit more sad sometimes. “But for a little while, life will feel normal again.”

“How long until it feels normal all the time?” She pulled back from him, her eyes locking with his as she searched for a serious answer in his tired features.

“That depends on you,” He poked her nose gently with his index finger, his lips curling into the slightest smile when she scrunched her nose up at him, “and you alone.” 

“What’s that mean?” She watched as he pondered her question for a minute, his face growing serious as he squeezed her shoulders between his hands.

“You’re a tough kid Ariel. The toughest.” He dropped a kiss to her forehead as he spoke and she choked back a soft sob at his words. She knew that he loved her and she knew that he was proud of her, for what reason she would never understand. “But you have to let yourself feel everything that’s going on in your head, and your heart, right now. Do you understand?”

“But it’s so much easier not to.” She whispered, her hands twisting against the material of his shirt as he pulled her back into his arms with ease.

“I know babe.” His tone was gentle, his hands shaking slightly as they roamed up and down her back. She was beginning to wonder who was doing more comforting here. Her or him. “But trust me. Take it from someone who refused to feel, who shut the world out and closed off his emotions. It’s never a good thing. Feeling is good. Pain, regardless of how much it hurts, is good.”

“Why is that?” She didn’t understand how anyone could want pain, how anyone could want to feel this kind of heartache. She would much rather be dead than have to suffer with this any longer.

“Because it reminds us that we’re alive.” He whispered, pushing her back so that he could look into her eyes. He dropped his forehead against hers once more and she felt a small shiver run through her at his words. “It’s what makes us human.”

She didn’t know what to say to his statement so instead she simply nodded her head, another sob escaping her lips as he pulled her back into his arms. They sat that way for a few minutes, her crying softly against his shoulder. Him hushing her gently as he rubbed her back. She wished that she could stay right here with him and not have to face the future.

“I don’t wanna go to school tomorrow.” She said softly, her fingers curling tightly around his t-shirt, her eyes closing as she fought off even more tears. She wondered if she would ever stop crying.

“I know sweetie.” His reply was soft, unlike the anger she expected to receive. She was well aware of how important school was to both him and Leanne and she was surprised to see that they were being so understanding about her need to stay home and cry it all out. “You can stay home.”

“Leanne has to work.” She hated that she had to go back so soon. She just wanted to stay home with her mother and grieve.

“I don’t.” He said quietly, pulling back to eye her with gentle eyes. “We can lay on the couch all day and watch movies in our pajamas. And when you need to cry, we’ll cry. And when you need to laugh, we’ll laugh. And we can talk all day, or not at all.” She let out a sob at his words, at the way he was holding her like she was so fragile that she might break. She couldn’t fathom having a more understanding father. She knew she was lucky to have him. “And when you need me, I’ll be right here. Tonight, tomorrow, next week, and for the rest of your life. I’m here okay.” He whispered his last line and she saw his eyes fill up with tears as he spoke to her, his hands trembling against her cheeks as he held her close. “I’m never gonna stop being your father, or your friend, that’s never gonna change.”

“I love you daddy.” She choked out, her body finally giving in as she let out a giant sob. She felt him pull her back into his arms, hugging her so tightly she thought she might break.

“I love you to angel.” He replied, his lips pressing gently against her head as he let out a soft sob as well. She wrapped her arms around him as tight as possible, pulling herself into his lap like that of a small child, and she clung to him. “I love you so damn much.”


	39. Avoidance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ethan has something to say about the fact that Ariel’s been avoiding Leanne

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *I apologize that this episode hasn’t given me much to work with. It’s obvious that Ethan/Leanne/Ariel is a thing of the past in canon, so I don’t have much. However, I’ll do my best to make this up as I go along.   
> ***Spoliers for 3x10**

Ethan had relished in having a few days at home with Leanne and Ariel before everything had gone back to semi normal. And he had been more than willing to help pick up the slack around the house while the teen continued to struggle. She hadn’t been coping well, at all, and despite her trying to be strong, she had been anything but. He was reminded of a small child, watching her cry herself to sleep every night, her body not having the strength to hold on any longer. 

She had barely made it through the funeral, and while he and Leanne had sat with her, holding her hands and offering her as much comfort as they could, they had been able to offer her little support. She didn’t speak to either one of them the entire day, instead, she had locked herself in her room after returning from the cemetery and she had stayed there until the following morning. Leanne had declared that she had to get out of this rut, that she needed to return to normalcy, that she needed to get back to living. And that had been the beginning of the end for the teen.

She had spent the entire morning in a screaming match with the older woman, their voices carrying throughout the house for a good two hours. He had tried to step in multiple times, but unfortunately he was unable to offer any kind of refuge for either one of them. Instead, they had both screamed at him to go away, so that was exactly what he had done. He had gotten on his bike and driven home, tears streaming down at his face. He hated seeing his family fall apart like this, but more importantly, he hated seeing his daughter lose complete control of herself.

He had spent the rest of the day working on the house, knowing full and well that he wanted to have it as done and ready as possible before his dad returned from North Carolina in a few weeks. He wanted to get out almost as much as his father wanted him gone. He had been working on fixing a lighting issue in the upstairs bedroom when he heard the front door open, and for a second he had panicked. Panicked that his father was back and that he was going to scream at him so more. Or panicked that Rox was just letting herself into his house again. He really wasn’t in the mood to deal with either one of them right now to be honest.

But then he saw Ariel’s face peering back at from the bottom of the stairs and he had let out a breath of relief. He knew that she should be in school, that if Leanne found out she had skipped and come to him that all out war would ensue, but he could tell by the tears in her eyes and the unsteady breaths she was taking that she needed him more right now. He certainly wasn’t going to let his little girl down anymore than he already had.

That had been five days ago and despite his pleading and begging, Ariel had refused to go back to Leanne’s. Instead, she had shoved clothes into the dresser in her room at his place, and she had unloaded her endless supply of beauty products on his bathroom counter. And she had made herself right at home. It wasn’t that he didn’t like having the kid there with him, because, if he was being honest, he didn’t want to let her out of his sight after everything that had happened. But he knew that she couldn’t stay with him forever, that she eventually had to return to Leanne’s.

He had convinced her to go back to school the day after she had shown up, and he had made arrangements with Rox to ensure that he was always there to take her to school and there to pick her up. He wasn’t about to have her running away on him. Leanne was mad enough at him as it was, the last thing he needed was her finding out that he was continuing to let her skip classes. Ariel hadn’t given him as hard of a time as he had expected though, and she had willingly jumped back into her studies. 

Which is how he found her when he returned from his morning run, sitting at the kitchen table pouring over a book, her notes a mess against the oak piece of furniture. He was surprised she was up so early on a Saturday, normally she didn’t rise until well after 10:00am. But here she was, at 7:45am, studying away. He wondered what the occasion was.

“Studying hard I see?” He stopped just inside the doorway to catch his breath, his body doing it’s best to remind him that he wasn’t twenty anymore. As if he wasn’t already aware of that fact.

“I have a huge history project due on Monday.” She groaned out, her eyes never leaving the page in front of her. 

“Anything I can help with?” He made his way into the kitchen, grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge as he leaned back against the counter, his eyes doing their best to make sense of the chaos in front of him.

“I need to go to the store.” She stated simply, her hands reaching blindly for a pen as she moved to scribble something on the paper in front of her. 

“Let me shower.” He stepped toward her, dropping a kiss to her head as he went. He heard her mumble something back, something that he didn’t quite understand, and he let out a chuckle as he grabbed a change of clothes from his room.

He emerged from the bathroom a few minutes later and he heard the unmistakable sound of her phone buzzing from it’s spot on her bedside table. Making his way into her room he sighed when he saw Leanne’s name flashing across the screen. He knew that she was trying so hard to get the girl to let her back in and he felt horrible that she was shutting her mother out, especially when she needed her the most. He also hated that, in turn, Leanne had started shutting him out. He guessed that she had every right to be angry at him for allowing Ariel to push her away, but at this point, he just wanted to ensure the girl’s safety, regardless of where she was living while he did it.

“Leanne’s calling you!” He shouted from the hallway, his hand gripping around her phone tightly as he made his way back into the kitchen. 

“Let it ring.” She huffed out. She was still seated in the same spot, her eyes focused on a map of some kind. He could see her shoulders tightening as she started to let it all come crashing down around her again.

“You need to talk to her kid.” He stopped behind her, his hands going to her shoulders as he tried to relax her some. He felt her let out a breath as she dropped her head forward, her hand letting go of her pen as she spoke.

“I don’t want too.” She whispered, and it broke his heart. He didn’t know what had been said between the two after he had left that morning, but something bad must have happened, because he had never seen Ariel this afraid of speaking to the other woman.

“Ariel...” He squeezed her shoulders gently before moving to sit down in the chair next to her, “you can’t stay with me forever.”

“Why not?” Her question was quiet and he could see the tears forming in her eyes. He knew that more than anything she wanted the three of them to be together. He wondered if he had somehow been the catalyst in their fight. It certainly wouldn’t have been the first time.

“Because I’m not the one adopting you.” He stated softly. And it was true. Not that he wouldn’t in a heartbeat if he needed too. If something ever happened to Leanne, he would take the girl without hesitation, but as it was, that wasn’t the case.

“But...” She lifted her eyes up to meet hers and he felt his heart tighten in his chest at the lost look on her face. He knew that she was struggling and he wished more than anything that he knew how to bring her out of it.

“No buts.” He reached forward then, tapping her nose softly as he spoke to her. Sometimes he had to remind himself that she was fourteen and not four, because right now, she certainly looked like the latter, not the former. “Look Angel, I know you’re trapped in your head right now and I know your heart hurts and you’re confused and lost. I get it. But you can’t shut Leanne out. She didn’t do anything wrong.”

“I don’t have anything to say to her.” He hated hearing her say that. He knew that there was plenty that needed to be said between the two. Hell, there was plenty that needed to be said between them all. He just wished that he knew where to start.

“Then don’t talk, but you could at least listen to her.” He offered her a soft smile as he leaned back in the chair. “She loves you honey, you know that.”

“But that won’t matter.” He barely heard her soft cry and he watched as her body trembled as a sob tore through her. He thought that he had gotten her over this hump, but he guessed that living it day to day was just how they were going to do things from now on. “The judge doesn’t care about that. They’re gonna take me away and it won’t matter anymore.”

“But it does matter Ariel.” He whispered, reaching forward to take her hands in his. “It matters to her. You’re breaking her heart by doing this.”

“She told you that?” He could tell that she felt guilty for hurting the woman. Mother or not, he knew that the love she had for her was real. He would never doubt that, not in a million years.

“More like screamed it at me.” He didn’t add in the part where she had screamed at him in the middle of center stage yesterday. They had been arguing over a patient and she had gotten fed up with him, screaming at him about how he needed to stay in his lane. He piped in that he was just trying to help. Somehow she took that to mean that he was referring to Ariel and she had yelled at him about how he couldn’t keep her daughter from her anymore. Jesse had pulled her away before she could say anything else, but Noa had had to step in and take over for him because his hands had been shaking too bad for him to continue. This really had not been his intention.

“She’s mad at you?” Ariel sounded even more guilty now and he didn’t want her to feel like this was her fault. He and Leanne weren’t the best at communicating, and while they were working on it, they were still struggling to reason with each other instead of blaming the other.

“She’s hurt that you’re picking sides for no reason.” And that part was true. There was no reason for her to not want to go back to Leanne’s. The three of them had been content there before their fight. She had picked her father over her mother, once again, and it was hurting Leanne. And he couldn’t say that he blamed her for being so angry. “Ariel, Leanne and I aren’t fighting, you two are. We’re in this together, but if you keep pushing back, we can’t help each other and we can’t help you.”

“I’m sorry that she’s pushing you away.” Her voice was soft and when she squeezed his hands tightly he was reminded once again of how amazing this girl was. He surely didn’t deserve her strength in all of this. “I know you’ve been struggling too.”

“It’s fine kid.” And it was. He would be just fine. He was a grown man and he could work things out on his own. But Leanne and Ariel, they needed him to be strong, so that’s what he was trying to do. “My concern right now is you, and you alone. You’re my priority, that hasn’t changed.”

She let out a soft huff as she dropped her head back downward, her hands moving to her lap as she sat back in her seat. He knew that he had gotten through to her somehow, even if she didn’t come right out and say it. He leaned back in his chair as well, his hand going out to grab her notebook from the table, his eyes scanning over her handwriting slowly. He was curious as to what had gotten her so invested in school all of a sudden, normally she skirted by, especially when it came to history class.

“Are you really going to let your dad sell the house?” Her question surprised him and he snapped his head up to meet her eyes.

“I don’t have a choice love.” He wished that he did. He wished that he had some way to convince his father that he needed to stay here. But after everything that had happened, after all the old memories had been brought up, he kind of wanted out too.

“Where will you go?” She asked softly, her head tilting to the side as she eyed him through her slowly drying tears.

“I’ve been looking at apartments. Found a few that are halfway decent.” He had been thankful when Rollie had put him in touch with a friend of his, a realtor who was good at quick transactions. He needed a place in less than a month and Jordan had been more than willing to help. “I’m gonna go look tomorrow if you wanna come.”

“An apartment?” Her eyes were wide as she rung her hands together in her lap. He figured that she was worrying about where she would go if he made such a move.

“All with more than enough space for the both of us.” But he had already thought about that. He had made it clear when he first met with Jordan that he needed a place with at least two bedrooms, preferably two bathrooms, and that he had a teenager to consider. She had found him several that met his standards, all of which were in good neighborhoods, and he had felt even more confident about his decision when he had looked over the options she had given him.

“Why don’t you just move in with Leanne?” Everyone seemed to think that that was the magical solution to his problem and he didn’t understand why. First his father had suggested it, than Rox. And then when he mentioned the issue to Rollie he had also brought it up. It’s not that he wouldn’t love to move in with her and Ariel, in fact, that would be a dream come true. But he knew that they weren’t quite there yet, that their relationship was barely hanging on by a thread as it was, despite their declarations of love to each other a week and a half ago. 

“Well we’d have to be talking to each other for that to happen now wouldn’t we?” He smirked at her softly, his eyes twinkling as he spoke.

“I’m sorry.” She choked out, and he instantly felt bad for cracking the joke. It obviously wasn’t what she needed to hear.

“Ariel... what did I tell you?” He reached forward then, taking her hand softly in his once more. “It’s fine.”

“But you’re hurting and I’m just making it worse.” He let out a sigh at her words and he used his grip on her hand to pull her up and toward him, dragging her to sit in his lap, his arms going around her as she dropped her head to his shoulder. She was back to being that scared little four year old he had caught a glimpse of earlier and he hated it.

“Angel, having you here is the only thing keeping me going right now.” And that was true. She was his only lifeline right now. Her and Leanne were all that he had. “You know that right? I love you, more than anything in this world.” He dropped a kiss to her head with his words and she wrapped her arms around his neck tightly, clinging to him like he might disappear. “And so does Leanne. We just want what’s best for you. And shutting her out, making me look like the bad guy, it isn’t allowing us to help you get better.”

“I just want things to go back to normal.” She whispered against his shoulder and he understood her plight completely. He wanted nothing more than for things to go back to the way they were. He wanted to go back to falling asleep with his girlfriend in his arms. He wanted to go back to making breakfast for his girls on weekend mornings, to spending days with them at the beach, to things being calm and safe again. He knew exactly what she meant by that and it broke him in two because he didn’t know how to give that to her.

“I know baby.” He whispered softly, hugging her closer.

“It hurts.” She sobbed after a minute, her head lifting from his shoulder so that she could rub at her tear filled eyes. “It hurts so much.”

“I know it does.” He said quietly, his forehead falling against hers gently. 

“I thought it would get better. After the funeral. After I got to say ‘goodbye’.” She was struggling to get the words out and it killed him knowing that she was hurting so deeply. She had been so quiet about her pain since the funeral, in fact, other than waking up in the middle of the night in tears, she hadn’t said much about losing Max. She hadn’t even uttered his name since then. “I thought this pain would go away.”

“It will, eventually.” He knew better than anyone how hard it was to believe that the pain would ever get better. But everyday that he had lived without his mom it had gotten a tiny bit better. And everyday that he had lived without Jack had been a little bit easier. “But you have to stop shutting us out. You have to let the people around you help you heal. That includes Leanne. And everyone else at Angels that loves you.” He also knew better than anyone that you can’t survive grief like that alone. “You can’t survive through this life alone. I can attest to that better than anyone.”

“I’m scared.” She whispered, her soft eyes reflecting her fear back at him as she shivered in his arms.

“Scared of what babe?” He didn’t even want to imagine what kind of fears she had after everything she had been through. He could only guess that that was what kept her awake most nights.

“I don’t wanna lose you guys. I don’t wanna get attached again and have it all taken away, again.” He could see the pain in her eyes, the way she was absolutely terrified of what she was saying coming true. And it broke his heart. He loved this girl, more than he had ever loved anyone in his entire life, and he hated that she was so afraid of losing him that she was barely holding on. “No one... no one has ever loved me like this, not since before my dad died, maybe not even then. I’m afraid that if I get too close, you guys will be taken from me. I can’t handle that. I can’t lose you all.”

“You won’t baby. I promise.” He leaned forward then, dropping a kiss to her forehead as he whispered his words to her, his own tears pooling in his eyes. “But you need to stop pushing Leanne away. You need to let her know how you feel. You need to talk to her.”

“Can I go over there tonight?” She asked softly, and he felt his heart flutter in his chest. He knew that Leanne would be over the moon if she could just see the girl. Simply having her in her arms would probably do the trick at this point. “Do you think she wants to see me?”

“I know she does love.” He whispered back. “How about we go run those errands you needed to and then I’ll drop you off at home. Deal?”

“Deal.” She offered him a soft smile as she sniffled, her eyes slowly drying as she dropped her head back to his shoulder, her arms wrapping around his shoulders tightly once more.

“I love you kid.” He dropped a kiss against her hair with his words and he felt his heart flip flop in his chest. “Don’t you ever forget that.”

“I love you too,” She replied softly, “dad.” And he felt his whole world slowly start to right itself again.


	40. Not Friends Anymore

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rox has some shocking news for Ethan. Ethan doesn’t seem so convinced.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *I needed some drama because let’s be honest, if I’m not gonna stick with the Rox/Ethan canon storyline, than I might as well make her out to slightly be the enemy. (Although, this in no way reflects how I actually feel about her character. She’s grown on me in fact.) This chapter will be short, but I figured it would fill the gap since the Leanne/Ariel chapter that I’ve been working on is taking longer than I expected. I hope to have it up before Wednesday!

Ethan had dropped Ariel off with Leanne after running their errands and Leanne had been more than thrilled to see them both. He had stayed for a bit, choosing to cook them dinner while they had retreated out back to talk. The talk hadn’t lasted long though, not before both he and Leanne had been called into work. And he had left specific instructions for Ariel on what to do with the lasagna when it was done. They had both kissed her goodbye quickly before dashing out the door, Campbell’s pleas for them to get there quickly enough to light a fire under them both.

That had been almost a week ago and he hadn’t stopped going since. He had spent the rest of the weekend at Angels, slaving away in Center Stage without so much as a water break for almost fourteen hours. When he had finally fled the scene, he had been dragged out into the field, Rox declaring that she needed his help. He had spent almost every waking hour, which had been just about all of them, in the field since. And to say he was exhausted was an understatement. 

Campbell had finally kicked him out Friday afternoon after he had caught him and Leanne in another screaming match in the hallway, and he had reluctantly returned home, alone. He hadn’t heard from his dad since their epic fight almost two weeks ago, but he was still determined to get the hell out of that house before he might return from wherever it was that he had vanished too. He hadn’t brought up the idea of moving in together with Leanne, not with all the chaos in their lives, and certainly not after their fight the other afternoon. 

Instead he had continued his search for an apartment, thankful that Jordan had been willing to reschedule with him. He had met with her Saturday after picking Ariel up from Noa’s and while he hadn’t had the best of luck, he had found a few that seemed like a decent place to stay temporarily. He figured that he would need to get it done soon, his desire to be somewhere that his father could never find him outweighing any other concerns about moving that he had. In fact, he hadn’t even told Leanne that he was moving at all. And while he knew that it was possibly a topic that could end in an argument, he honestly wasn’t thinking straight these days.

He had returned Ariel to Leanne’s Sunday afternoon and had spent the rest of the night doing his best to pack up his belongings. He had collapsed in bed around 10:00pm though and had slept until well into Monday afternoon, his body emotionally and mentally unable to keep up anymore. He had reluctantly gone to work that night, thankful that he wasn’t scheduled for any ride alongs with Rox, and when he had bumped into her at Angels he had done his best to avoid her at all costs. That had been two days ago and it was killing him that Leanne was still avoiding him, but more than anything, it was driving him insane that he didn’t have the balls to go after Rox for what she had done.

He had been half way done emptying the contents of his closet onto his bedroom floor so that he could pack everything up when his doorbell rang. He surely wasn’t expecting anyone and it sent his mind racing at the prospect of who it could possibly be. His father would have just let himself in, and honestly, so would Ariel and Noa. Mario rarely rang the bell, rather he liked to knock secret codes against the door like some child. And Leanne, well Leanne was nine hours into a twelve hour shift, and she wasn’t exactly his biggest fan at the moment, so he highly doubted that it was her. Sighing to himself he made his way down the hall just as the bell rang again.

“Hang on!” He shouted back, huffing when he stubbed his toe on a box in the hallway. “I’m coming!” He finally made it to the front door, yanking it open with a sigh. But the person on the other side, was the last one he expected to see standing on his doorstep at 10:00am on a Wednesday. 

“Rox?” He watched as she pulled the screen open, her movements slow and hesitant. He could tell that something was bothering her, that something was most definitely up, and he had a sneaky feeling that it had something to do with just why Leanne had come at him in the hallway Friday afternoon.

“I thought we were gonna be friends Ethan.” She huffed out, her feet stopping her just inside the doorway. He guessed that maybe she had picked up on the fact that he was pissed off at her after he had been avoiding her the past few days.

“Friends, Rox, seriously?” He didn’t have the energy for this fight right now. And while he wanted nothing more than to put her in her place, he really wasn’t ready to deal with this topic just yet. “After what you did. You’re lucky I’m even still talking to you.”

“What did I do?” Her question was soft and the way her eyes crinkled up at her words made Ethan wonder briefly if she really didn’t understand why he was mad. He thought that maybe her ignorance was worse than her knowing. “Ethan?”

“Telling Leanne that you thought you were pregnant!” He screamed at her, his hand going to grip the railing of the stairs behind him. “That was a low blow, even for you.”

“I... I never told her that.” She whispered, her words shaking as she took a step closer to him.

“Than why did she come at me Friday, yelling at me about lying to her?” He had been shocked when Leanne had approached him the hallway. They had been doing so well, despite having been at work for most of the week, and he was confused as to why she was coming at him with such anger and hostility. But then she had told him that she heard that Rox was pregnant, and that the baby was his, and he had been unable to pick his jaw up off the ground in order to defend himself. “She said I’m not being faithful to her. She thinks I’m cheating on her, with you!”

“I never said anything of the sort to her Ethan! I swear!” He almost believed her, almost. But then again, he knew better. He knew that Rox wanted him back, that she wasn’t a fan of his relationship with Leanne, especially not when it had taken him away from her.

“Well she sure as fuck wasn’t making any of this up.” He knew that Leanne wouldn’t have made such a thing up. Someone had told her, someone that she trusted. Otherwise, she would have blown it off just like she did with every other rumor. Including the ones about them “Who did you tell? Huh? Anyone? Because the last time I checked you never mentioned being pregnant to anyone, not even me!”

“I wasn’t feeling well, I asked Jesse to check me out.” Well that made total sense. If Jesse had told Leanne that Rox was pregnant she would have had no reason not to believe him. “I told him what was up, that I’d been nauseous and hadn’t been feeling well. He asked if there was a chance I was pregnant, I told him that I supposed there was.”

“Jesse? Really?” He didn’t understand why she would be so stupid as to go to Leanne’s best friend though. She had to know that there would be consequences.

“I don’t think he would’ve told anyone Ethan!” She seemed adamant about what she was saying and part of him wanted to believe her. “He was pretty adamant about it.”

“Then someone overheard him.” It certainly wouldn’t have been the first time. Hell, ever since that damn Diego kid had started there had been nothing but drama and rumors flying around that damn place. He had a sneaking feeling that that kid was behind this somehow.

“I guess.” She looked incredibly defeated, like the air had been ripped from her lungs. He almost felt bad, he really didn’t think that she had it in her to destroy Leanne like that. Not when they had once been friends, not when they had worked side by side only a few days ago. “Look, Ethan, I would never do that. I would never jeopardize your relationship with Leanne like that. Not after everything you two have been through with Ariel. I’m not here to be the enemy.”

“Then why didn’t you come to me if you thought you were pregnant?” He prayed that she wasn’t pregnant, that this was simply a bad timing thing. He couldn’t fathom what he would do if he had fathered another woman’s child. He certainly wouldn’t be able to leave Rox out in the cold, that wasn’t his style. “Why would you go to Jesse?”

“I didn’t think anything of it until he suggested it.” She whispered, her arms going to wrap around herself. She looked terrified at the simple prospect of it and he guessed that she had probably never even contemplated having children before. He didn’t exactly see her as the type. “Honestly.”

They stood in silence for a few minutes, her fighting off tears, him fighting to get his breathing under control. He heard his phone ring from somewhere in the house, probably buried under the pile of clothes on his bedroom floor by this time. He knew it was more than likely Campbell, calling him to tell him to get his ass to work, but he wasn’t done with this conversation yet, and therefore, Campbell would just have to wait.

“So... are you?” He asked softly, his hands trembling as he ran them over his face. He was so tired of all this damn drama. He just wanted things to be simple again.

“I don’t know.” She spoke so quietly that he had to strain to hear her and the sight of the tears in her eyes made his heart clench in his chest a little. “The blood tests haven’t come back yet.”

“Were you going to tell me?” He liked to believe that she wouldn’t have walked around carrying his child inside her without telling him. He prayed that she wasn’t that kind of person.

“No.” Her answer was firm, but he could tell that there was no malicious intent in his words. “Not unless it was positive.”

“And even if it was?” He crossed his fingers that he would get the answer that he wanted from her, but somehow, there was a little piece of him that didn’t seem to find this situation kosher.

“I would’ve told you.” She lifted her head up, her eyes connecting with his as she struggled to hold back another round of tears. He figured she probably didn’t like knowing that he didn’t believe in her. “I never would’ve kept that from you.”

“Funny, I don’t believe you.” That little piece in the back of his mind that was very against this whole thing finally spoke up and he hated it.

“Ethan, please...” She was practically begging with him and he could tell that his anger was hurting her.

“No Rox, this isn’t how this is gonna go.” He spat back, his fists balling up against his sides as he tried to squash that part of his brain that told him to fire back at her with all that he had. This was the part of him that always got him in trouble when it came to Leanne. The part of him that he was trying so desperately to destroy.

“Why are you so mad about this?” She sobbed out, the tears falling down her cheeks as she spoke, her voice still soft despite her obvious pain. “I told you I didn’t do anything wrong. I never told Leanne any of this. I swear!”

“She won’t talk to me Rox. She won’t even fucking look at me because she thinks I fathered someone else’s baby! Your baby!” Leanne’s words to him had been beyond forgivable. She had broken his heart right there in the hallway. “I’ve got a teenager who’s barely holding on and a father who would rather have me be dead and I haven’t slept in over a week. And now, the only lifeline that I have left, hates me because she thinks I’m giving someone else the one thing she can never have!”

“But I didn’t tell her!” She finally screamed back, her voice harsh as her hands flew out in front of her. “Why are you taking this out on me? I didn’t do anything wrong! I don’t deserve this!”

“Because I won’t let my family be destroyed by a rumor!” Not that he was even sure if he had a family left to be destroyed. He figured that Leanne would probably never let him back in, not after everything that had happened, not after this. Even if Rox wasn’t pregnant, he bet Leanne would probably hate him forever for the simple prospect.

“Then don’t let it!” She turned away from him then, her shoulders slumping forward as she let out a sob.

“I... I can’t do this Rox. I’m already being the strong one for Ariel. And I’m barely holding myself together as it is.” And right now, he was an absolute wreck. “I’m trying to be there for Leanne, to help her through this, and now this? I can’t support you too!”

“I’m not asking you too!” She turned back around and eyed him with a stone cold stare. Her words cut right through him and he could feel the tension increase ten fold. “I’m a big girl! I can handle myself!”

“Then stay away from me!” He screamed back. He figured that he was probably better off just getting her out of his life completely at this point. Child or not, she was destroying his family. And whether she was meaning to do so or not, it was still happening, and it was killing him. “Stay away from my family!”

“Ethan...” She was begging again, her eyes softening as she stepped forward once more. He didn’t understand why she didn’t get it. Why she thought that he would just let her back in again.

“No! You don’t get to change my mind about this.” He shouted, his eyes filling with tears of his own. “I won’t fall into your trap again. It worked once, and it destroyed them. I won’t do it again.”

“I’m sorry Ethan.” She whispered, her feet stopping her before she could get any closer. He watched as she let out a shuddering breath, her eyes closing as she tried to compose herself. “This was never my intention.”

“Fine.” He whispered back, the tension in his body releasing as he let out a shaky breath of his own. “Just… let me know what the tests say.”

“Okay.” She turned away from him then, her shaky hand reaching for the doorknob with a soft sigh. She turned back toward him but he refused to acknowledge her, choosing to keep his head turned downward, his eyes staring a hole into his floorboards. “Goodbye I guess.”

“Bye.” He said softly. He watched as she headed out the door then, her hand pulling the screen shut behind her as she made her way down the steps. He let out another breath as she climbed into her car and drove off, his heart racing in his chest as he watched her leave.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***Thanks to everyone who’s still reading! Your comments and support mean the world to me :)***


	41. Mothers and Daughters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leanne and Ariel have a lot to talk about.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *This chapter has given me nothing but trouble the past few days and I’ve struggled with what exactly to write. I’ve had the dialogue bouncing around for a week, but putting it in an organized manner has been almost impossible. I hope this reads as well as it played out in my head.

Leanne couldn’t remember a time when she had ever been so frustrated. Not only was she worried about Ariel and her recovery after losing Max, but her and Ethan had been at each other’s throats the past few days and it was killing her. They had been fine after he had brought Ariel home last Sunday, and they had even kissed ‘goodbye’ before going their separate ways at the hospital later that night. And they had been fine all week, despite barely seeing each other, a kiss snuck in between patients here and there, a coffee trade off every few hours. But then she had been cornered by Diego in the break room Friday morning and the words that had left the kid’s mouth had shattered her right in two.

“So I hear Dr. Willis is gonna be a daddy.” She had done a double take at his words. There was no way anyone in the hospital would have suspected her to be pregnant, not even the ones who knew that she and Ethan were sleeping together.

“Who told you that?” She had been curious, and after he told her his source, she had hated herself for wanting answers so badly.

“I heard that hot paramedic telling Jesse she was knocked up.” Leanne had felt her entire world come crashing down around her and her heart stopped beating in her chest. She couldn’t believe this was happening, she couldn’t believe her entire life had come to this. “I know they were hooking up, figured the baby must be his right?”

She hadn’t been able to answer, instead she had just shrugged her shoulders and practically run from the room, her body struggling for air as she made her way toward her office. She had tried to calm herself down, she had to reason with herself. Surely if Rox was pregnant Ethan would have told her. Surely he wouldn’t let her walk around not knowing that he was going to be the father of someone else’s baby.

When she had run into him in the hallway a few hours later she had no longer been able to control her emotions and she had lashed out at him. Bad. She had screamed, louder than she had probably ever screamed, and she didn’t care for one second that they were in Angels and that Ariel or Jesse or anyone else for that matter could come around the corner at any minute. She had told him that she hated him, that she wished he was dead, that she couldn’t believe that he would betray her like this.

She had expected Ethan to argue, to fight back, to scream at her just as she was screaming at him. But instead he just stood there, his eyes filling with tears and his body trembling as she laid into him. She laid her heart and soul on the line for him, telling him that she couldn’t believe he was giving this gift to someone else, a gift that he could never give to her, and he had just stood there bitting his lip with his hands stuffed in his pockets. She had slapped him, once, then twice, just as Will Campbell had rounded the corner and put an end to it. He sent them both home, declaring that if he saw either one of them before Monday morning that he would fire them both. He told them that they needed to talk, not fight, and that he wouldn’t stand for this kind of drama in his hospital any longer.

Leanne had watched as Ethan had walked to his car in silence, climbing inside and driving away without so much as a word. She knew that her words had hurt him, but his actions had hurt her more. She had gone home, texting Jesse to ask if he would drop Ariel off after her shift, and she had collapsed into bed and cried for what felt like hours. The sound of the teen arriving home was the only thing that stirred her from her slumber, but she had reluctantly told her that she didn’t want to talk right now. 

They had barely been talking to each other this past week, and she knew that shutting the girl out wasn’t helpful for anyone, but she didn’t know how to handle this with the teen, so instead, she pushed her away once more. That had been a whole week ago, and while she had been cordial with her, reminding her to do her homework and asking about her day, she hadn’t had the mental or emotional strength to have the conversation with her that she so desperately needed.

“Mom…” The teen’s soft voice broke her from her thoughts and she lifted her eyes from the file in front of her. Campbell had told her to take the weekend off again, especially after he had caught wind that Ethan had been a no-call, no-show for two days now. She knew that Campbell blamed her for him being gone, but she didn’t know how to make this right, not after everything that had happened.

“Hey honey.” She had come home from work and deposited her paperwork on the kitchen table, right next to Ariel’s stack of textbooks. The teen had had the day off from school and she knew that she had had plans to be with Ethan. She figured that she must have kept them because she came through the door carrying bags from her favorite clothing store. Ethan never was able to say ‘no’ to the girl. “Have fun with Ethan?”

“Yeah.” The teen’s voice was soft as she dropped her bags on the bench in the hallway, toeing her shoes off as she crossed the threshold into the kitchen. “Dad says ‘hi’.”

“I doubt that.” She whispered, her eyes filling with tears behind her glasses. She knew that Ariel had to be making that up, there was no way that he was even contemplating her existence right now. Not after everything she had said to him.

“He did.” Ariel dropped down into the seat across from her, her weary eyes soft in the early afternoon light. “He wanted to come inside, said you two needed to talk, but I told him I’d talk to you first.”

Leanne simply nodded her head at the girl’s words. She knew that while Ethan had hurt her with his actions, that he certainly hadn’t warranted some of the things that she had said to him. She wanted to make things right with him. They had come too far for this to be the end of their relationship, yet again.

“He told me, you know?” She watched as the girl reached her hands across the table, taking her shaking hands into a soft grip. “About Rox. About what you heard.”

“Did he now?” She didn’t know how she felt about that. She knew that Ariel wasn’t a fan of Rox, not that she could blame her, not after everything that had happened. 

“She’s not pregnant.” Ariel whispered, her hands squeezing hers tightly. “She called him last night. Apparently something was wrong with her Iron levels.” She squeezed again, offering her a soft smile as she tried to reassure her that her worst dream wasn’t coming true. “But she’s not pregnant.”

“Thank God for that.” She whispered back, her head falling forward as she worked to calm herself.

“He feels really bad about everything.” She snapped her head up at the teen’s words, her eyes connecting with the young girl’s as she watched for any signs of lying, but she found none. The girl was telling the truth, and that made her feel even worse. “He just wants to make things right.”

“I know.” And she did know, because she knew Ethan better than anyone, and she knew that he wasn’t the type of guy who just went around knocking women up and then moving on. She knew that the things that she had said to him were downright horrible. She knew that she had broken his heart. The fact that he wanted anything to do with her was still hard for her to process. 

“I told him that I would talk to you.” The teen offered her a hopeful smile and she felt her heart flutter in her chest. She knew that the girl wanted nothing more than for them to be back together. Back under the same roof. “Maybe you’d let him call later?”

She let out a soft chuckle, the girl was good, just like her father. “I’ll text him love, and we’ll go from there. How does that sound?”

Ariel beamed back at her from across the table and she instantly felt better. She knew that there was very little in this world that Ariel asked for, and having her parents together seemed to be the only thing on her list here lately.

“I’m sorry for shutting you out.” The girl’s whispered voice broke her from her thoughts once more and she felt her heart race in her chest. She couldn’t believe that the girl was apologizing to her, it should most certainly be the other way around.

“Oh honey.” She tugged on her hands gently, willing her to stand, and when she did she couldn’t help but stand with her, her arms going out to wrap around her tightly. “You have nothing to be sorry for.”

“I was so mean to you.” She sobbed against her shoulder, her shaky arms tightening around the older woman’s waist. “You were so good to me and I pushed you away. It wasn’t fair.” Her tears were falling faster than Leanne could keep track of, and she dropped a kiss to the girl’s head as she held her close. “I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay sweetie.” She pulled back a little then, her hands going out to cup her face as she did her best to calm her down. “I know you were hurting, I know it was bad.” She leaned forward then, dropping a kiss to the girl’s head. She loved her so much more than she knew what to do with, and it killed her seeing her daughter in this much pain. “I’m just sorry that you had to go through this in the first place. I never wanted this for you.”

“I know.” Ariel sobbed, her hands trembling as she gripped Leanne’s arms in her hands. “I never should have gotten involved with him. You warned me.” She could barely catch her breath at this point and Leanne felt herself starting to panic. She didn’t want the girl to make herself sick over this. “I should have stayed away.”

“Oh Ariel.” She pulled her back into her arms with a soft sob of her own. She hated that she felt responsible for this. That she felt like she had done this. She had done nothing but love that boy, something that should never be considered wrong, and unfortunately it had backfired on her. “It’s not your fault. Please don’t ever believe that.”

“I loved him so much.” The girl clung to Leanne like she was going to disappear and she felt horrible knowing that Ariel probably expected her too. Most everyone else in her life did eventually. 

“I know baby.” She dropped another kiss to her head, her hands rubbing up and down her back slowly as she did her best to offer her any kind of comfort. “And I’m sure he loved you too. He would have been crazy not too.”

“Dad said the same thing.” She heard the girl let out a soft almost chuckle, and when she pushed her away once more she could see a small glimmer of hope in her eyes.

“Your father’s a smart man.” She offered the girl a smile, her hands gripping her shoulders as she watched her face break out into a giant grin. She didn’t refer to Ethan as Ariel’s father very often, not for any particular reason either, but she knew that the girl was starting to refer to him as her dad on her own, so she figured it was time she jumped on board. “I hear you’ve been calling him ‘dad’ the past few days.”

Ariel nodded her head softly, her hand reaching up to wipe at the tears still falling from her eyes. “I hope that’s okay.” She hated that the girl sounded guilty, she almost looked like she expected Leanne to be angry that she was calling the man by such a title.

“Oh babe,” She reached up and brushed the girl’s hair away once more, her thumbs brushing over her tear-stained cheeks softly as she offered her a smile, “I think it’s great.”

“You’re not mad?” Leanne couldn’t fathom why in the world she would be mad about such a thing, but she hated that the girl had even let that thought cross her mind.

“No Ariel, I’m not mad.” She leaned in and dropped a kiss to the girl’s blonde hair, pulling her back into her arms and hugging her tightly as she did so. “He loves you so much honey. We both do.” She pressed another kiss to her hair as she squeezed her shoulders tightly in her arms. She would never get used to having this kind of bond with someone. Sure she had loved her kids more than anything, and she knew that they had loved her back, but they had been far too young to understand just how special it was to have a parent who supported you and loved you unconditionally. After everything that Ariel had been through, she knew just how special this bond was to them both, and to Ethan. “We never want to lose you honey, and we will do whatever it takes to keep you safe. I hope you know that.”

Ariel simply nodded her head against her shoulder, her arms tightening around her as a sob wracked her body. She couldn’t stand seeing her little girl in so much pain, knowing that there was little that she could to comfort her, save for holding her just like she was right now. She heard Ariel’s phone beep from where she had dropped it on the table and she pulled back, her forehead going to rest against the teen’s as they both took a few deep breaths.

“That’s probably dad.” She whispered, her eyes closing as she worked to control her breathing, her hands still trembling as she reached up to rub at her eyes.

“Why don’t you ask him to come over for dinner?” She knew that it was a long shot, having Ariel ask for him instead of her, but she knew that once again, he was unable to say ‘no’ to the girl, which would hopefully work out in her favor. “Tell him I’ll cook.”

“Really?” The light that came into the teen’s eyes at her suggestion was totally worth the awkwardness that might ensue from such an evening. 

“Yes honey, really.” She offered her the biggest smile she could manage and when Ariel’s lips turned upward, her hand reaching for her phone excitedly, she knew that she had made the right decision. 

She knew that even if things were difficult for them, that even if she was mad at him or hurting because of him, that they had to make things right. She needed him, almost as much as the air she breathed, and she knew that he needed her. She knew that he would never go back to Rox, she wasn’t that stupid, but for those few hours last week she sure as hell was scared that he would pick the other woman over her. Especially if there was a child involved. But she had Ariel to think about, and so did he, and she knew that the girl came first for them both, even before each other. And she knew that she had to do the right thing as a mother, and that was to love that girl’s father as much as she could. Because it wasn’t just what Ariel needed, but it was what she needed as well.


	42. Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ethan has a few surprises for his girls. And they have a few surprises for him as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *These three needed some adorableness in their lives after all this drama, so here we have it. However, this isn’t to say that the drama won’t continue in a few chapters, but then where would be the fun in that?!

Ethan had been halfway through his first lap around the running trail when his song was interrupted by the sound of his phone ringing. He had contemplated ignoring it, figuring it was Campbell calling to bug him once more, but when he pulled his phone out of his pocket he was pleasantly surprised to see Ariel’s number staring back at him. He had dropped her off at Leanne’s only an hour ago and he figured he had at least another two hours before she called to bug him about something.

“Hey kid.” He answered softly as he slowed down to a walk. He could hear Leanne laughing in the background and his heart started racing even faster. He had missed that sound so much these past few weeks.

“Hey.” The kid’s voice was calm, the exact opposite of what Ethan had expected from her and he couldn’t help but smile. It may have only been an hour, but he already missed her. “Whatcha doing?”

“Running…” He could tell she was up to something, the way her tone changed a little, her voice getting slightly higher as Leanne let out another laugh. These two were surely up to no good and he didn’t want to know what that had to do with him. “What are you two doing?”

“Nothing.” She said with a soft chuckle. 

“Doesn’t sound like nothing.” He knew Leanne and Ariel better than anyone and he knew exactly when he should be prepared for trouble with them.

“Mom wants to know if you wanna come have dinner with us?” He heard Leanne mumble something in the background and he could practically hear Ariel’s eyes rolling in response. He guessed that maybe Leanne didn’t want him to know that it was her idea.

“Of course.” He knew he was probably grinning like an idiot right now. He had stopped walking all together, his brain trying to wrap around what had just happened. He was shocked that Leanne wanted him to come over, she had been wishing him dead almost a week ago. “What time?”

“Whenever.” She answered softly. “We’ll be here.”

He couldn’t help but laugh at her attempt to be nonchalant about all this. He knew that inside she was probably screaming for him to get there as soon as possible. “Let me finish my run and shower?” He glanced down at his watch, noting that it was only 3:00pm, he still had plenty of time before it was socially acceptable to eat dinner. “I’ll be there around 5:30. That work?”

“That’s perfect.” Her voice was soft and he could tell that she was silently jumping for joy on the other end of the line. He just hoped that her mother was just as excited to see him as he was to see her.

“I’ll see you in bit.” He heard her mumble an ‘okay dad’ before hanging up the phone and he felt his heart start to race again. It didn’t matter how many times she called him that, every time the word ‘dad’ left her lips in reference to him he felt like his whole world had stopped spinning.

——

He had finished his run and showered by 4:15pm and he was driving himself crazy pacing around his house in an attempt to kill time. He just wanted to go be with his girls, to have them in his arms again, but he knew that leaving now would put him there no later than 4:35pm, and he didn’t want to seem to desperate. Letting out a sigh he dropped down to the nearest chair, his eyes scanning over his phone as he attempted to think of an excuse to get there early. Then it hit him. He knew exactly what to do. Flowers. Every woman loved getting flowers.

Grabbing his keys he quickly locked up and made his way down the front stairs in an almost jog. He knew he shouldn’t be so excited about such a small thing, but he knew that it would make Leanne’s day, and that was all that mattered to him. He stopped off at the small flower market exactly halfway between his place and Leanne’s and he browsed for what felt like hours. He honestly had no idea what kind were her favorite, and he was half tempted to text Ariel and ask her, but he didn’t want to give away the surprise. So instead, he did the one thing he could think of.

_What the hell kind of flowers does Leanne like?_ He hit ‘send’ without a second thought and he was surprised when his phone dinged back almost immediately.

_Hello to you too Ethan._ Stared back at him and he let out a soft chuckle. He supposed he should have started the conversation off with a greeting of sorts.

_Hi Jesse. Sorry about that._ He stopped in front of a display of mismatched bouquets and titled his head to the side. He honestly couldn’t remember the last time he had ever bought flowers for a woman, if ever, and he had no idea how incredibly difficult this would be. _What kind of flowers does she like? Because there’s a million options and I have no clue what to get her._

_Why are you buying her flowers?_ He was sure that Jesse knew about their fight by now. Hell, half of LA probably knew about their fight by now. Surely he had to know that Ethan had never meant to hurt her. Surely he understood just how much he wanted to make this up to her.

_Because I’m having dinner with her and Ariel and I wanted to do something nice._ He most certainly wasn’t trying to suck up either. No, he really just wanted to do something special for her. He didn’t feel like he treasured her nearly enough. _I’ve been kind of a jerk lately. Ya know?_

_That’s an understatement._ He let out a huff at Jesse’s words. He was well aware of how much of an ass he had been lately. He certainly didn’t need the other man to remind him of it. _Did you get Ariel anything?_ He let out a chuckle at the man’s words. He wondered if he was trying to stall him so that he could ask Leanne the question he needed an answer too. He figured that after almost 18 years of friendship the man would know what kind of flowers she liked by now.

_She’s easy. Sunflowers. No question there._ He was kind of shocked that he remembered that to be honest. His daughter was a complicated one, but her favorite things were pretty easy to remember.

_Peonies. Leanne’s favorites are peonies._ He couldn’t help the smile that came over his face. Those had been his mother’s favorite too. He remembered their yard being covered in them when he was a kid, back before his mom got sick and could no longer take care of them. He used to take peonies to her grave when he would visit. He knew that somehow, someway, she would know that he had left them there for her.

_Perfect. Thanks Jesse!_ He made his way toward the section at the front of the store where he had remembered seeing the desired flower and he prayed that they had a variety of colors. His mother had always grown every color she could find, saying that a rainbow of peonies was the only way to go.

_No worries._ He smiled at Jesse’s response and he made a mental note to do something to repay the man for all he had done for him the past few months. _Make sure you guys properly make up this time._

He let out a snort at the man’s words and rolled his eyes, even though he knew good and well that Jesse couldn’t see him. He got ready to reply back when his eyes caught sight of what he was looking for and he stopped in front of the rainbow of peonies. He probably looked like a damn fool, standing alone in the middle of a flower shop on a Friday afternoon, a big, dopy grin on his face as he stared down a giant display of multi-colored flowers. 

After grabbing one of each color that he could find Ethan made his way toward the register, his eyes searching for the sunflowers he had seen when he walked in. He spotted them at the register and was thankful that he didn’t have to waste anymore time wandering around the place. He could have guessed that everyone there probably thought he was deranged at this point. He handed the girl behind the counter his mismatched handful of peonies and when she offered to turn them into a bouquet for no extra charge he couldn’t help but take her up on it. He surely had no idea how to make them into anything beautiful, and handing Leanne the hodgepodge he had grabbed might not be his finest move yet. He grabbed a few sunflowers just as his phone buzzed in his pocket and he rolled his eyes. Surely Jesse had better things to do than bug him about his flower purchases.

_How much longer will you be?_ He let out a chuckle as he read through the teen’s words. He still technically had fifteen minutes before he had told them he would be there. 

_Soon love._ He hit send just as the girl behind the counter took his sunflowers from him, offering to do something fancy with them too. He thanked her yet again before typing back to the teen to let her know something was up. _Stopped for a surprise. Don’t tell your mother._

_Is it a puppy?_ Sometimes he forgot that she was still just a kid heart. 

_I wish!_ He would have loved to have just shown up at Leanne’s with a puppy. But he figured that that probably wouldn’t go over so well with the woman. Especially when they hadn’t even talked about it.

_Ugh. Fine. Hurry up though!_ He let out another chuckle as he fished his wallet out of his back pocket and handed the woman his credit card. He didn’t even know how much these damn flowers were costing him, probably a ton, but he didn’t care. The smiles on his girl’s faces would surely be worth it.

After paying he carried his two freshly cut and arranged bouquets out to the car, buckling them into the passenger seat like they were something precious. And for the price he had paid for them, he was surely going to keep them nice and safe. He then made the drive to Leanne’s on autopilot, his heart racing in his chest as he tried to prepare himself for seeing her. He felt so bad for everything that had happened the past week and he prayed that Ariel had relayed the news to her that Rox was not pregnant and that it was not something that she ever had to worry about again.

He pulled into the driveway exactly ten minutes later and he killed the engine almost as soon as he put the Jeep in park. He wasn’t about to waste anymore time away from his two favorite people. Hoping out of the vehicle he quickly grabbed the flowers and hid them behind his back with his left hand, using his right to shut the door and lock the car behind him. He had barely made it up the steps before the blonde teen came bouncing through the door, a giant smile on her face, and he couldn’t help but smile back.

“It’s about time!” She threw her arms around his neck, nearly knocking her over, and he couldn’t help but chuckle as she clung to him tightly.

“Sorry.” He whispered, hugging her with his right arm gently. 

“Whatcha got there?” Her question was soft and he was thankful that so far there didn’t seem to be any sign of Leanne anywhere.

“It’s a surprise.” He offered her a small smile as she pulled back from him, her eyebrow raising as she stood in front of him, her small frame practically bouncing on her toes.

“Did you get me something?” He chuckled at her enthusiasm and he gently removed the small bouquet of sunflowers from behind his back. The smile that overcame the girl’s face was definitely worth the $25 he had just shelled out for those suckers.

“You like them?” He was skeptical to say the least. Although, judging by the tears in her eyes, she was most definitely a fan of his impromptu decision.

“I love them.” She whispered softly, her hands bringing the bouquet up to her nose so that she could smell the flowers. “Thank you daddy.” She reached forward then, wrapping her arms around him once more, and he couldn’t help but fight back a few tears at the genuine emotion the girl was showing him. He most certainly hoped this was a step in the right direction for them.

“You’re welcome Angel.” He hugged her back, this time with both arms, and he dropped a kiss to her hair with his words. He didn’t understand what he had ever done to get so lucky as to have a girl like this be his daughter, but he was beyond thankful for it.

“Are those for mom?” Her question startled him, and that’s when he realized that the bouquet he had bought for Leanne was out in the open.

“Yes!” He quickly shoved his arm back behind his back, his eyes snapping up and looking past the girl and into the house. “But don’t say anything.”

“Okay.” She said softly, her eyes following his into the hallway. “She’s cooking. You should go surprise her.”

He nodded his head softly as he leaned in and dropped another kiss to her head. “Give us a few minutes?” He knew it was risky asking that, especially given their pension for fighting when they knew she wasn’t around, but he had no intentions of spoiling this evening for anyone.

“Behave.” She winked at him then, a giant smile coming over her face as she quietly headed back inside, this time her long legs carrying her up the stairs and toward her room. 

He let out a breath as he closed his eyes, his head turning from side to side as he gave himself an internal pep talk. He could do this. There was nothing to be afraid of. It was just Leanne. The love of his life. The mother of his only child. He shouldn’t be so afraid of sneaking up on her with a bouquet of beautiful flowers. He wondered if maybe he should have let Jesse warn her what was coming.

But then he saw Ariel standing at the top of the stairs, her eyes darting back and forth toward the kitchen, a giant grin of her face as she mouthed at him to get his butt moving. He let out a soft chuckle as he quietly made his way through the screen door, the bouquet of flowers still hidden behind his back. He toed his shoes off and dropped his keys into the bowl by the door and he prayed that Leanne hadn’t heard him come in. He figured if he was going to surprise her it might as well be a good one. 

Slowly making his way into the kitchen he let his eyes scan the room for any sign of her. And then he saw her, standing in front of the sink, her back turned toward the opening, and he took a deep breath. She looked beautiful, even from behind, and the fact that he could see her tan legs sticking out from under the sundress she wore was making it even harder for him to concentrate. He slowly inched his way toward her, a smile coming across his face when she stopped scrubbing the plate that was in her hands. He knew that he had been caught. But he also knew that she wouldn’t let up on the charade.

“I got you something.” He whispered as he stopped behind her, his toes bumping her heels as he pressed his lips against her ear.

“If it’s puppy we’re gonna have words.” She whispered back, a smile creeping over her face as she set the plate down into the water.

“If only.” He leaned forward, pressing his lips against her head as he moved the flowers to his right hand behind his back, his left hand going to her hip. “Close your eyes.”

She let out a huff, but he watched as she closed them slowly. He moved the bouquet in front of her and he smiled when her hands felt around for a second before taking hold of the stems. He watched as she opened her eyes slowly, one at a time, and when the smile on her face increased ten fold he felt his heart skip a beat.

“Ethan…” She gasped, her head moving downward so that she could smell the blooms in her hand, much like Ariel had done minutes before. “They’re beautiful.”

Her voice was so soft and so sweet and he couldn’t take it any longer. Being away from her for so long had done things to him that he couldn’t quite understand and he hated it. Gripping her shoulders gently he spun her around to face him, a giant smile coming over his face when he realized just how incredibly breathtaking she looked. Her hair was curly once more, something he had hated that she had stopped doing, and her face was just sun kissed enough that it sent a shiver down his spine.

“You like them?” He choked out. He could see the tears in her eyes and he prayed that they were there because of happiness and nothing else.

“I love them.” She leaned down and smelled them once more before she moved her arms around his shoulders, pulling him close. “But I love you more.” 

Her whispered words sent his heart into a tizzy and he crashed his lips against hers without a second thought. He had missed her so goddamn much and he couldn’t believe how incredibly stupid he had been to have ever put their relationship in jeopardy. His left hand moved to grip her hip gently as his right hand tangled in her hair, pulling her as close as possible. When she ran her tongue along his lips, begging for entrance he eagerly accepted. But then Ariel’s words about behaving themselves echoed through his head and he pulled back slowly, his forehead falling to rest against hers as he tried to catch his breath.

“I love you.” He whispered, his eyes boring into hers in hopes of getting it through to her how much she meant to him. “I love you so fucking much. And I was an idiot. A big, giant idiot. For all of it, for everything, and I am so, so sorry.” He leaned in then, pressing another searing kiss to her lips as he pressed her against the counter with his body. He pulled back when she nipped at his lip, guessing that maybe she wasn’t quite done listening to him grovel and beg for her. “I never meant to hurt you. Or Ariel. I love you both so much. And I don’t ever want to lose you.” He dropped his forehead back to hers as the tears started to spill from his eyes and when he felt the fingers of one of her hands tangle in his hair he let out a soft breath.

“Well it’s a good damn thing we aren’t going anywhere then huh?” Her question made him smile and when he opened his eyes she was staring back at him with a soft smile on her beautiful face and he felt his heart tighten his chest. If he thought it would have been appropriate he would have dropped to one knee right then and there and asked her to be his wife. But he figured that one surprise was enough for the evening.

“Don’t you dare.” He whispered, his lips pecking hers as he gripped her head gently. “And if you do, just know that I’m going with you.”

“Sounds like a plan.” She whispered back, her fingers stilling against his neck as she offered him a soft smile. “Sound like a plan kid?”

He should have figured that Ariel would have been spying on them this whole time and when he turned around in Leanne’s arms he was pleasantly surprised to see her standing in the doorway, her bouquet held up in front of her face as she tried to hide behind the yellow petals, nothing but her brown eyes showing over the edge of the freshly cut sunflowers.

“So we’re back to being a family now?” She whispered, her eyes wide with her question.

He reached his left arm out then, gesturing for her to come forward some more, his right arm wrapping around Leanne’s shoulders as he tucked her against his side. He watched as Ariel hesitated to step forward, her flowers lowering slowly as she offered them a weary look. 

“Would you get your butt over here kid?” He reached for her once more, offering her a soft smile as Leanne placed her flowers on the counter beside her, reaching for her as well. “Your parents need a hug.”

She let out a chuckle as she moved forward then, her bouquet going to rest next to Leanne’s, her arms going out to wrap around them both. “My parents need a lot of things.” She mumbled against his shirt, her head tucking itself under his chin as he squeezed her tight.

“What we need,” Leanne whispered, her lips dropping a kiss to the teen’s head as she snuggled into Ethan’s side, her arm wrapping around the girl tightly, “is to be together. All of us.”

“So,” Ethan dropped a kiss to each of his girl’s heads, his arms tightening around them both as he spoke, “that’s exactly what we’re going to do, from here on out.”

“Promise?” Ariel’s voice was so soft that he barely heard it, but he could sense the fear in her words, the way she was almost terrified to say something. He knew that while she was getting stronger everyday, she was still just a broken kid who needed her mom and dad to love her more than any of them thought possible.

“We promise baby.” He whispered back, his arm tightening around her when she moved to wrap both arms around his waist, her tears soaking into his shirt as she sobbed softly.

“We’re a family Ariel.” Leanne whispered, her hand going to brush the girl’s hair back from her face as she cupped her cheek softly against her palm. “That’s never going to change. Not today, not tomorrow, not five years from now. You hear me? We’re in this together. The three of us. Forever.”

Ariel nodded her head against his chest before pulling back, moving to wrap both of her arms around her mother, and he felt his own tears roll down his cheeks. He couldn’t have asked for a better family if he had tried. And no matter all the searching he had done, no matter all the pain and the heartbreak that he had to go through to get here, he would do it all over again. For them. For his family. And he would never take any of that for granted again.


	43. Fighting is No Fun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leanne hated fighting with Ethan, but she sure did love making up with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *I had this slated as the opening to a very emotional chapter coming up next, but I kind of wanted to post it separately because it’s just so intense. So here we have it, some good old fashioned Willish smut. **You have been warned!**

Leanne was exhausted, and in all the right ways too. After Ethan had surprised her and Ariel with the flowers they had had a rather emotional moment. Hearing him declare that he was in this for the long haul, that he wanted a life for both of them, it had been everything she had needed to hear. She was beyond elated, especially knowing that Ariel had gotten to be a part of such a moment, that the teen knew just how much they loved her and that they were willing to make this work for her. That they wanted to be a family just as badly as she needed them to be.

They had enjoyed a nice dinner together after having calmed themselves down and she had never been happier to see the man she loved and her daughter sitting at her kitchen table together once more. They had talked about Ariel’s plans for the upcoming break from school, Ethan declaring that he was going to take some time off, that they should go away together, just the three of them. She couldn’t remember a time when Ariel had smiled so brightly.

After dinner they had snuggled up on the couch in the den together, some old black and white movie playing in the background as they all took a few minutes to breath. To finally relax after everything that had plagued them the past few months. She had been eternally grateful for the change of pace that this new side of Ethan brought to their lives. Ariel had fallen asleep tucked against Ethan about half-way through the movie and he had carried her upstairs and tucked her into bed while the sun was still shining. Leanne had been reminded of how Caitlin used to never make it through a movie, how John used to have to put her to bed before the stars were even out. 

When Ethan had returned downstairs a few minutes later he had a grin on his face that told her that she was in for it. And when he had scooped her up in his arms, a giant smile on his face, a twinkle in his gray eyes, she had been unable to stop herself from letting out a soft squeal. Her husband had never been one for romance or spontaneous gestures of affection. Ethan on the other hand, was apparently unable to contain himself when in her presence. Not that she was complaining any.

He had deposited her on the bed with a soft thud, his foot having closed the bedroom door behind him as he offered her a sly look. She knew what he was up to, she knew that the only thing on his mind was making up. And to be honest, that was the only thing she had been unable to think about since she had turned around in his arms almost five hours ago, a giant grin on her face at the fact that he had brought her her favorite flowers. She made a mental note to thank Jesse for whatever involvement he had in this occurrence.

Ethan had lowered himself on top of her in the bed, his hands going to her hips as he crashed his lips to hers, and she had been unable to stop the soft moan that reverberated through her chest when she felt just how ready he was for what was about to happen. He had nipped at her lip as he wasted no time in pushing the straps of her dress down her shoulders. She had contemplated changing before they watched their movie earlier, but now, she was grateful that she hadn’t. 

He wasted no time in removing the item of clothing from her body though, his lips following his hands as they trailed over her bare skin. She had pushed at the material of his t-shirt, smiling to herself when he yanked the item over his head without a second thought. And when their bare skin finally came into contact with each other she felt a spark like no other ignite. It had only been two weeks since they had made love, but to her, it felt like two decades. 

His pants had somehow been removed in the middle of their tousle, and she had lost her bra and panties somewhere in the middle of a seriously heated kiss. And when he shoved his boxers off with a grunt she couldn’t help but let out a chuckle. She remembered whispering something about someone being a little excited. He had then taken it upon himself to pin her hands above her head with his right hand as he gripped her hip with his left. 

He slid into her effortlessly, as if they had been doing this their whole lives, and when he had dropped his forehead to hers with a soft whimper she had thrust her hips upward against his, begging for him to keep going. Her hands were released not long after, his desire to tangle his fingers in her curls outweighing his desire to have all the control. She had clawed at his back like a wild animal and when he picked up the pace, his arm going around her back to lift her slightly, she had let out a sound that was somewhere between a cry and a moan of pleasure.

She had clung to him desperately, her hands going everywhere they could, his skin hot to the touch, and when he shifted himself against her, thrusting even harder as he crashed his lips against hers, she felt her whole world start to crumble. Sure sex with Ethan had always been great, but this, this was a whole new level of pleasure that she’d never experienced before. Ever.

They came together a few minutes later, his lips never leaving hers as he did his best to drown out her cries of pleasure. She bit down on his lip when she felt him shudder inside her and she could’ve sworn that she heard him mutter a string of curse words against her nose as he clung to her desperately, his body shaking as his release took control. They had both collapsed back against the sheets a few minutes later, their bodies drenched in sweat, hers aching in all the right ways, his unable to move.

“I hate fighting with you,” He whispered against her cheek a few hours later. They had both dozed off after their escapade, and when she had awoken at a little after two in the morning he had snuggled himself against her side, his arm draped lazily over her waist, his face nuzzled against hers, their legs tangled together under the sheets. She had let out a shiver when she realized that they hadn’t bothered to pull the blanket up over themselves, the cool spring air having floated in through the open window across the room, “but damn do I love it when we make up.”

“You’re insane.” She whispered back, her arms reaching blindly in the dark for the comforter. She let out a soft sigh when he pulled the sought out object over them, his lips pressing kisses to her bare shoulder as he snuggled closer under the new found warmth.

She would never get over how incredibly snuggly Ethan was, no matter how many times he surprised her with it. She had figured he would be the exact opposite of a cuddler, someone who preferred his space, especially after such an intimate encounter. Lord knows, her husband hadn’t been much into post-sex snuggling. But Ethan on the other hand, he couldn’t get enough of her, clothed or not. He seemed to be drawn to her in his sleep too, even when he was dead tired, even when they had been angry at each other and gone to bed mad, she had found herself waking up to him being as close to her as possible.

“Oh come on.” His voice was soft as his hand roamed over her stomach, his fingers leaving a trail of fire against her cool skin. “You can’t tell me that wasn’t good.”

“I never said it wasn’t.” If she was being honest, that was the best sex she had had in her entire life. Ever. And she was sure that when she woke up tomorrow and started moving around, she would definitely feel the repercussions of their actions. They weren’t kids anymore, it’s not like they could keep this act up. Although, if she was being honest, she didn’t want Ethan to ever stop trying new things with her. “I just prefer that we stop fighting just so we can have make up sex.”

“Yeah, I much prefer the regular stuff.” His lips moved to rest against her neck this time, pressing gently against her pulse point. “Less drama.”

“Ethan...” She reached her hands out for him then, doing her best to tug him close, smiling to herself when he rolled himself over on-top of her. He settled one hand in her hair again, tangling his fingers in the wild locks. His other hand pressed softly against her hip as he rested his forehead against hers with a soft sigh.

“Yeah?” The look he gave her told her that he was trying to play innocent, like he didn’t know that he was driving her insane.

“Shut up and kiss me.” She whispered softly, her hands gripping at the back of his head as she tried to tug his head downward toward hers. He fought back though, his eyes darkening as he settled his knees on either side of her, sliding into her once more. She couldn’t help the whimper that left her lips at the sudden contact, her body still not recovered from their romping earlier.

“Yes ma’am.” He dropped his lips against hers with a soft smile, his tongue instantly begging for entrance, which she gratefully granted. She felt him thrust his hips against hers gently, silently pleading for her to set a pace. She couldn’t help but smile against his lips as he groaned into the kiss, her legs locking around his waist as she dragged him closer once more. She really really hated fighting with him, but damn did she really really enjoy making up with him.


	44. Eye to Eye

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ariel has a few questions of her own about Leanne and Ethan’s relationship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *I know, I know, two chapters in one day, what a treat?! This follows directly after chapter 40 and I couldn’t help myself but get Ariel a little involved in this rebuilding relationship. Also, nervous Leanne is just too adorable to pass up.

When Leanne awoke the next morning she was pleasantly surprised to see that Ethan was still curled up next to her, his bare skin radiating a delicious warmth against her body. She had felt herself snuggling closer until she realized just why she had woken up. The sound of a soft knock on the bedroom door had brought her out of her slumber, and now it was echoing through the otherwise silent room. She waited to see if Ethan would stir, but he made no moves to wake up, so instead she made sure they were covered before acknowledging the girl’s presence.

“It’s open hun.” She said softly, chuckling slightly when the teen poked her head through the door with her hand covering her eyes.

“Who’s taking me to school?” Her voice was a whisper and Leanne could see that she herself was still in her pajamas, her bare feet barely visible as she clung to the half-open door.

“I will.” She turned to look at her sleeping companion, a small smile forming over her face when he rolled onto his back with a soft groan. “You can uncover your eyes love. We’re covered.”

“Covered how?” She peeked through her fingers with a questioning stare and Leanne let out another soft laugh at her question. “You’re still naked under there aren’t you?”

“Busted.” The teen’s reaction made her laugh even more and she had to cover her mouth to keep from waking the sleeping man next to her. “Give me a minute sweetie.”

“Okay.” She watched as she threw her hand back over her eyes when Ethan rolled onto his other side, the blanket sliding with his body just enough to show off her bare legs. “I’m gonna go shower. And wash my eyes out with bleach.”

Leanne let out another chuckle as the door was pulled closed behind the girl, the sound of her soft footsteps echoing down the hallway. Stretching her arms above her head she slowly pulled herself into a sitting position, the blanket falling from her chest as she rose. She heard Ethan let out a soft sigh in his sleep, his hand reaching behind him blindly in search of her. It made contact with her thigh and she let out a shudder, her memory flashing back to just how many times his hands had landed in that exact spot throughout the night.

She let out a soft groan as she slowly rose from the bed, grabbing his t-shirt from it’s spot next to her feet and pulling it over her head. Making her way toward the dresser she grabbed a clean pair of underwear and headed for the bathroom. After taking the world’s shortest shower she moved back into the room to get dressed, smiling softly when she noticed Ethan’s body sprawled out amongst the sheets, his soft snores filling the small room. She couldn’t help but shake her head at him, he was ridiculous, but he was damn adorable, so she supposed that that made up for it.

She had just finished buttoning her jeans when she heard the bed creak behind her and she didn’t even have to turn around to know that he was suddenly awake. She could feel his eyes staring at her, boring holes into her bare back. She felt her face flush, her hands shaking slightly as she slid the zipper of her jeans up. She shouldn’t be this incredibly turned on by the simple notion that he had been watching her get dressed, and yet.

“Where you going?” His voice was soft and sleepy and he sounded slightly punch drunk, something she knew she could attribute solely to their many rounds of sex from last night. 

“I have to take our child to school.” She said softly, her hands reaching out to grab her clean shirt from the dresser. Part of her wanted to turn around and face him, the other part of her wanted to continue to torture him by facing away.

“It’s Saturday.” She heard him let out a soft huff. “What’s she doing going to school?”

Leanne couldn’t help the chuckle that left her lips as she turned to face him, the undone buttons of her shirt leaving little for the imagination. She watched as he swallowed, his body falling back against the pillows as he groaned.

“Some school fair thing she got roped into.” She really wasn’t even sure how the girl had gotten involved in the activity at school. In fact, she wasn’t even a hundred percent what it was. Some kind of carnival or something? She remembered there being a conversation about it a few days ago, but her mind was still so hazy from last night that she had no idea what it’s purpose was.

“Oh yeah.” Ethan moved himself into a sitting position, the covers falling from over his chest and pooling in his lap. She swallowed back a sigh at the sight of him bare chested and sleepy in her bed. It was certainly a sight she would never get tired of seeing. “She mentioned it Tuesday. I completely forgot.”

“Sadly,” She started doing the buttons of her shirt when she heard the girl’s footsteps making their way back down the hall, “so did I.”

“Are you guys still naked?” Ariel’s voice called through the doorway. Leanne let out a laugh when Ethan rolled his eyes before hopping out of bed, grabbing his boxers from the floor by the bathroom and disappearing inside.

“Ethan’s in the shower hun.” She called out, her lips curling upward when she heard the water cut on in the room behind her. She guessed that he was probably going to be conserving hot water this morning. “It’s safe.”

“Thank God.” The door opened once more and this time the teen stepped all the way into the room, her eyes doing a quick once over of the space, searching for what Leanne didn’t know. “Are you ready to go? I don’t wanna be late.”

“Yes love.” She turned and knocked on the bathroom door, announcing to Ethan that she would be back in a bit. He didn’t reply but she did hear him let out a huff and she couldn’t help but chuckle. 

She had made herself a cup of coffee while Ariel made sure she had all of her stuff and they had walked outside just as she heard the bedroom door upstairs open. Ethan had shouted for them to be safe and that he loved them and she had watched as the girl had smiled back at him through the open door. They had made their way toward the school in a comfortable silence, until they had been about five miles away, and then the questions started.

“So are you guys gonna get married now or something?” She had been thankful that she didn’t have coffee in her mouth when the words left the girl’s lips, because it surely would have wound up all over the dashboard if she had.

“Excuse me?” She was thankful for the red light in front of them, her eyes snapping toward the girl seated next to her.

“Just curious.” She shrugged her shoulders with a soft sigh, her head turning to look out the window as the light turned green. “You should, you know.”

“Thanks for the tip.” She didn’t know why the girl’s question had set her mind into this weird daze, it really wasn’t that big of a deal. She knew that most everyone that knew her and Ethan thought they were already married. Hell, Rox had thought it, Max’s dad had thought it, the barista at their regular coffee shop thought it. 

“Sorry.” She could tell that she had upset the girl with her reaction and that had surely been the opposite of what she was aiming to do.

“It’s okay love.” She reached over and squeezed her arm, hoping to reassure her as best as possible. “You just… shocked me is all.”

“I didn’t mean to.” She could feel the girl’s eyes on her then and she didn’t know whether she should be bothered by the stare she was getting or not. “I just… I think it would be a good idea.”

“Maybe Ariel, one day, a long time from now.” It’s not that the thought of marrying Ethan hadn’t crossed her mind. In fact, she had thought about it an awful lot lately, especially since they had gotten back together. She had never expected to get remarried, it just wasn’t something she had in her plans, but now, well now she wasn’t so sure about it.

“I don’t think you should wait too long…” Ariel’s voice was soft and she could make out the smile forming on her face as she tried to control herself. She wondered if the girl knew something that she didn’t.

“We’ll see Ariel.” She turned her attention toward the girl as another red light stopped them, this time only a few feet before her desired destination. Normally she didn’t mind talking to the teen, in fact, she was thankful that they seemed to have a rather open relationship, especially lately, but this was surely not a topic she expected to ever have with the girl.

“His dad’s kicking him out you know?” She felt her heart clench in her chest at Ariel’s words. She couldn’t believe that the older Willis man was so hell bent on destroying his son. “He’s not gonna have anywhere to live soon.”

She could hear the heart break in the girl’s voice, the way she was trying to stay strong, trying not to let it bother her. She wasn’t fooled though. She knew that Ariel loved Ethan more than anything, that he was the most important person in the world to her, even above her. And Leanne didn’t mind it one bit. She was thankful that the two had each other and she knew that they surely relied on each other for a lot. She couldn’t imagine how hard it must be to see your own father going through so much and knowing that there was nothing you could do to help him.

“We’ll figure something out babe.” Not that she had any idea what that ‘something’ would be.

“Could he move in with us?” Ariel’s question was soft and she wondered for a minute if she had even heard her right. But then she made out the small tear rolling down the girl’s face as she pulled the car into a parking space, her body turning toward the passenger seat with a soft sigh.

“You’d be okay with that?” She didn’t know what possessed her to ask that question. Of course the girl would be okay with that. She would surely be over the moon to finally have her father that close. Leanne wasn’t stupid, she knew that she wanted them all under the same roof. She’d been trying to get them to that point for almost the entire year she had been with them.

“I just…” She turned her head to look back out the window, her hands twisting in her lap, a nervous habit that broke Leanne’s heart. She could tell the girl was holding something back and she hated it. “I think it’d be nice. That’s all.”

Leanne watched as she shrugged her shoulders before undoing her seatbelt, her hand going to grab her bag from the floorboard. She opened the door and stepped out before the older woman could reply and she felt her heart tighten up. She hated that the girl pushed her away like this when it came to her relationship with Ethan.

“Ariel!” She called after her, but she had already shut the door and made her way through the parking lot, stopping to wait for a girl Leanne vaguely recognized. She let out a sigh as she let her head fall back against the headrest, her hand reaching for her phone in the center console. Dialing Ethan’s number she closed her eyes softly as she waited for him to answer.

“You’ve been gone less than fifteen minutes.” His voice was so soft and so calm and she felt her heart instantly relax at the sound of it. “You really can’t get enough of me can you?”

She appreciated his humor almost as much as she appreciated him and she couldn’t help but smile at his words. “Ariel and I got in a fight.”

“Already? It’s only 9:00am.” She could hear the slight humor in his tone and she knew that he was trying to keep things light. “How bad?”

“Not bad.” She let out a sigh as she opened her eyes, staring straight ahead at the side of the school. “We just, don’t exactly see eye-to-eye about something and it bugged her.”

“Well she’s a teenager Lea,” She heard him shuffling around on the other end and she could make out the sound of the washing machine in the background. He always did housework when he was stressing about something and she hesitated to ask what was wrong, “you guys aren’t going to see eye-to-eye about much for the next four years.”

“Funny Ethan.” She knew that he was telling the truth. She and Ariel were bound to disagree on many more things between now and the time she left for college. She figured that that big step would probably be the source of a lot of tension in the next four years in itself.

“I’m just saying babe.” He let out a gentle sigh and she wanted nothing more than to wrap her arms around him and never leave his side. “It’s okay to have a difference in opinions.”

“It’s always about you.” She didn’t know where that line had come from and she wished that she could take it back almost as soon as she said it. She knew Ethan was the kind of person to feel guilty over causing tension between them and she didn’t want him to worry that this was his fault.

“Well I’m just that hard to love.” He whispered back. She could tell that he was both joking and being serious and she let out a soft sigh.

“I miss you.” She whispered, her eyes closing once more as she heard him let out a soft chuckle.

“Then come home you nut.” She could practically feel him smiling on the other end of the phone and she couldn’t help it as her lips turned upward too.

“I’ll be there soon.” She said softly, her hand moving to put the car in drive. “I love you.”

“And I love you more.” His reply sent a shiver down her spine and when she heard him end the call she let out a breath. She couldn’t wait to get home and crawl back into his arms. She didn’t care if there were a million things that she needed to do today. No, she wanted nothing more than to spend the day curled up in bed with him. And that was exactly when planned on doing.


	45. Starting Over

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ethan’s ready to move on, and Leanne’s ready for him to move in. Also, someone’s very eager to ask a very important question.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *These two are going to be the death of me. Here we have some major snuggly Willish ( **and some more smut** ). There’s also some good old talking involved, because we all know these two fight better than they talk. This takes place the morning after chapter 40 and directly after Leanne and Ariel’s conversation in chapter 41.

Ethan had panicked slightly after getting off the phone with Leanne. Things had gone so well yesterday, he didn’t want a silly little fight, about him nonetheless, to ruin things between Leanne and Ariel. He would never forgive himself if he was the cause of tension between them after everything they had worked to fix. He had dropped the phone to the couch with a sigh and closed his eyes, doing his best to relax himself before Leanne got home. He knew that the last thing he needed was to give away just how much stress he was under.

She had made it home in roughly the same time it had taken her to make it to the girl’s school and he was thankful when he heard the front door open and close softly down the hall. He heard her kick off her shoes, her keys falling into the bowl on the small table, before she made her way down the hall toward him. He felt her hands on his head before he saw her and he let out a soft sigh when she ran her fingers through the hair at the back of his neck.

“I’m going back to bed.” She whispered, her fingers stilling against his collar.

“Okay.” He whispered back. He didn’t know if that was an invitation or a simple statement, so he made no move to get up.

“Aren’t you going to join me?” Her voice was soft and sultry and he felt something inside him stir at the prospect of spending an entire uninterrupted day in bed with his beautiful girlfriend.

“If you’d like.” He tilted his head backward, his eyes connecting with hers as he let his lips curl upward into a soft smile.

“I would very much like that.” She winked at him then, her fingers dragging lightly against the nape of his neck as she started to walk away from him. He could tell that she was teasing him on purpose, her hips swaying slightly as she made her way down the hall.

He let out a groan at her actions, she was surely going to be the death of him. He pushed himself upward slowly, allowing her a head start of a few seconds. He was curious to see just where exactly she took this. She had never been one to initiate the seducing, rather, it was always him, and his body was reacting in ways he wasn’t used to at the thought of her taking some sort of control. 

“Leanne…” He called out her name softly as he made his way up the stairs. He could hear her moving around in the bedroom, the sound of her chuckling filling the empty space around him.

“Ethan…” She called back, her voice low and full of all kinds of sensualness.

“Whatcha doing?” He stopped just outside the door, his body leaning against the opening as his eyes watched her slowly undress in front of him. Her back was too him, something he figured she was probably doing on purpose, and he swallowed at the sight of her bare back.

“What does it look like I’m doing?” He couldn’t see her face but he knew that she was undoubtedly grinning like the Cheshire Cat.

“It looks like…” He moved into the room then, stopping behind her as he dropped his hands to her hips, his fingers dipping under the waistband of her jeans as he pressed his lips against the skin of her neck, “you’re trying to seduce me.”

“I would never do such a thing Dr. Willis.” She said softly, her body freezing in his hands as he nipped at the skin of her neck, his fingers dragging against her skin.

“You, Dr. Rorish, are a tease.” He kissed her shoulder softly as he turned her around, his forehead falling against hers as soon as she was stopped in front of him.

“I can stop if you want…” She batted her eyelashes at him and he knew he was officially a goner.

“Don’t you dare.” He dragged out, his lips crashing against hers as he backed her up against the dresser behind them. She let out a soft squeal, her fingers tangling in his hair as he hoisted her up, her legs wrapping around his waist.

They wasted no more time in removing each other’s clothing, her hands hot against his skin as he carried her to the bed. He tossed her down with a soft thud and she let out a giggle as she pulled his body down on top of hers, her lips seeking his almost immediately. He let out a low growl when she ran a hand down his bare chest, dipping it inside his boxers, her fingers running along his erection as she dragged her teeth over his bottom lip.

“Easy girl.” He whispered, his hands moving to shove her panties down as he dropped his head against her shoulder, his lips pressing against the exposed skin as she clawed at his back.

“You asked for it.” She growled out, her hand wrapping around his member as she toed his boxers the rest of the way down. He whimpered as she moved her hand just the slightest bit, her nails digging into his back as he bit down on her shoulder softly.

“Tease.” He repeated his words from earlier as he pulled back from her slightly, his head falling to her stomach as she released her hold on him with a grunt. He pressed a kiss just below her belly button, a smile coming across his lips as she gripped at his hair tightly, doing her best to pull him back up to her. He nipped at the skin of her left hip, his fingers running up her thighs as she wriggled beneath him.

“Ethan…” His name coming out of her lips was the most amazing sound he had ever heard and he granted her her wish, his mouth pressing soft kisses against her skin as he moved his way back up her body. He stopped when he got to her lips, his hands moving to tangle in her hair as he pulled her into a gripping kiss.

Her next move shocked him and he let out a soft squeal when she flipped them over, her legs settling on either side of his hips as she straddled his waist, a sly smile on her face. He leaned up then, crashing his lips against hers as he ran his hands down her bare back. She let out a moan when he settled them on her hips, pulling her flush against him and he sighed when she pulled back just enough to settle herself onto him, her hands gripping his shoulders as he bit down on his lip to suppress his moan. He knew that he didn’t need to worry about anything, that Ariel wasn’t home and that he could be as loud as he wanted, but there was still something about the challenge that excited him.

“Whatcha doing?” He asked softly, his fingers digging into her sides as she dropped her head down to his. 

“Shut up Ethan.” She growled, her hips grinding against his as she found a rhythm. 

“Okay.” He whispered back, his fingers moving to tangle in her unruly curls as he dragged her lips to his. He kissed her, hard, and when she whimpered into the kiss he couldn’t help but thrust upward, his hands tightening their hold on her hair.

It didn’t long before they both reached their peak, and when he felt her walls start to tighten around him he let out a soft moan. She smiled down at him, her body righting itself as she sat up, giving herself just the leverage she needed to make them both come. He grabbed at her hungrily, his hand tugging her head back down to his, his lips pressing against hers as he felt her start to come down from her high, and he couldn’t help but smile when she let out a whimper as her body finally gave in to her desire.

“Good?” He whispered after a few minutes, his hand reaching up to brush her sweaty curls back from her face. She offered him a soft smile, her body collapsing on top of his with a soft sigh. He rested his hand on her neck, the other running up and down her back softly, and he saw her eyes starting to close, her body relaxing at his touch.

“Love you.” She whispered against his bare shoulder, her lips soft as they pressed kisses against the exposed skin.

“Love you too.” He couldn’t help the smile that came over his face as she gently rolled herself off of him, a growl leaving her lips at the loss of contact. 

She settled herself against his side, her head pillowed on his chest, her arm draping lazily over his waist as her body started to relax. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and tucked her as close as possible, his lips pressing a soft kiss against her temple. He didn’t know what had come over her these past few weeks, but he surely wasn’t going to complain about the increase in her sex drive. Certainly not after he went months without being able to touch her at all.

“Sleep babe.” He whispered, his free hand reaching out for the blanket, dragging it over their bare bodies with a soft sigh. He expected her to say something back, but when he shifted his eyes back down to her he was pleasantly surprised to see that she was already asleep, a soft smile on her face as her breathing started to even out. He felt his heart start to settle down his chest and he couldn’t help the smile that came over his own face at the feeling of her being back in his arms.

——

When he woke up a few hours later Leanne was nowhere to be found and he let out a soft sigh at the empty bed surrounding him. He hated waking up without her. He made his way out of the bed slowly, his body yelling at him, reminding him that he wasn’t twenty anymore and that multiple rounds of incredible sex was something he might regret the next morning. Sighing softly, he made his way into the bathroom, relieving himself before making his way back out into the bedroom. There was still no sign of Leanne, no sound of movement from anywhere in the house, and he dragged his boxers on with a moan.

He slowly made his way downstairs, stopping when he heard the soft sounds of the TV in the den. He couldn’t help but smile at the image he was met with when he walked through the opening into the small room. Leanne was curled up on the giant couch, a blanket covering her legs, his t-shirt hanging loosely off her shoulders. Her hair was pulled back and her eyes were soft as they moved from the image on the screen in front of her to him. 

“Hi.” She whispered softly, a small smile on her face as she reached for him.

“Hi.” He whispered back, moving into the room and settling himself on the opposite end of the couch, his legs going out to rest on top of the coffee table. He smiled when she stuck her legs out, moving them to rest in his lap, and he let his right hand fall to the smooth skin. 

“Ariel tells me your dad is still selling the house.” He didn’t know where her statement came from but when he shifted his eyes back toward her she had returned her attention to the movie playing.

“He’s not budging on it.” He whispered softly, his hand rubbing up and down her leg as he spoke. “And honestly, after everything, I just want out. I want out from under him, the memories, the drama. I don’t want to have any excuse to have to deal with him anymore. Not after what he said to me.”

“So what are you going to do?” He was surprised by her line of questioning and he let out a soft sigh as he closed his eyes, his head falling back against the couch cushions.

“Get an apartment.” It honestly wasn’t his first choice, but he really didn’t think his other option was even a choice at this point. “Ariel and I went and looked at some the other day. Found a few we liked.”

“An apartment? That doesn’t seem like you.” He could feel her eyes on him and he turned his head toward her softly, his eyes opening at her words. “What will you do with your car? And all your stuff?”

“I don’t know. I guess I’ll sell the Vette.” Not that he wanted to sell that car. He loved that damn thing, even if it was missing an engine and a tire. He was going to get around to fixing it eventually. “And Ariel will have her own room for her stuff and I’ll make do. It’s not like I have a lot.”

“You can’t sell the Vette, Ethan,” Her eyes were so soft and gentle and when she sat up in her spot, moving forward so that she was now directly against his side, he let out a soft sigh, “you love that car.”

“It was just something else of Jack’s that’s tying me down.” They had bought that car together and they had been hell bent on fixing it up. That was before the mission that caused everything to go wrong. The mission that cost his brother his life. That almost caused him to take his life as well. He didn’t need to hold on to it anymore. It wasn’t doing him any good collecting dust in his garage.

“Ethan...” She reached forward, her hand connecting with his jaw as he turned his head away from her. He couldn’t help the tears that formed in his eyes at her soft voice, the way she said his name was so soft and raw and filled with love.

“It’s fine Lea. Really. I need to move on.” He didn’t really believe that, not for one second, but he had to do something with his life before he lost control of it. “My dad’s right. He’s gone and he’s not coming back. I don’t need to keep doing things hoping he’ll notice. He doesn’t know. He never will.”

“He knows Ethan.” She turned his head back toward her, her eyes begging with him to open up to her, to not shut her out. “Trust me, he knows.”

“It’s fine.” He whispered, swallowing as he tried to bite back the hollow feeling in his stomach. “I just want some place that’s safe for Ariel. Something big enough for the both of us. I still wanna be able to keep her sometimes.”

“She can stay with you whenever she wants.” He prayed that that was true. He wanted Leanne to know how much he loved that girl, how important she was to him. “She knows that. I hope you know that too.”

“I do.” He said softly, his hand patting her leg as he offered her a soft smile.

They sat in silence for a few minutes, his hands continuing to rub her legs as she scratched at the hair at the base of his neck softly. He let out a soft sigh when she repositioned herself, moving her legs under her as she knelt next to him. She took his head in her hands then, her palms soft against his cheeks as she leaned forward.

“Ethan...” She whispered his name, her forehead resting against his as she eyed him curiously.

“Yeah love?” He moved his hands to her waist, pulling her into his lap effortlessly. She settled her legs on either side of his hips, her forehead never leaving his as she smiled at him playfully.

“Why don’t you just move in here?” Her question shocked him and he shook his head back and forth at her words. He never thought she would ask him to move in with them. Never in a million years.

“Huh?” He was stunned and he didn’t know what to make of what she had just said. Was she being serious right now? Did she know what he would give to live under the same roof with his two favorite people?

“Move in here? With us?” She smiled at him as she tangled her fingers in her hair, her lips pressing a soft kiss against his. “It makes perfect sense.”

“Does it?” It made perfect sense to him, he just didn’t know if she was aware of what exactly she was asking.

“We have a kid together.” He would honestly never get tired of hearing her refer to Ariel as their daughter. “We’re very clearly very much in love. Why not?”

“It’s not too soon?” It most certainly wasn’t too soon for him, but he wasn’t the one who had once lived in this house with another family.

“Too soon for who?” Her eyes were soft and he could see the slight doubt in them. He hoped that she wasn’t doubting him moving in, that she wasn’t already second guessing this decision.

“You?” He hated to be the one to bring it up, but this wasn’t a decision that he took lightly. And he most certainly didn’t want her to do so either.

“No. Ethan this is the right thing to do. I know it is.” Her smile made his heart flutter and he couldn’t help but return it as she spoke, her words stirring something inside him that he didn’t know existed. “No matter how hard it might be. Ariel, she needs us. We need us. Being under one roof makes sense.”

“I don’t wanna overstep.” He whispered, his fingers rubbing up her sides gently.

“Ethan... stop.” Her words held a little force to them and he wondered for a second if they were headed for a fight. He was determined to do whatever he had to do to make sure that that wasn’t the case.

“It’s just... you had a life here.” He saw her eyes darken slightly, moisture forming over the brown orbs as her hands fell to his shoulders. “A family here. I don’t wanna come in and take that away.”

“You sound just like Ariel.” She whispered, her eyes closing as the first tear rolled down her cheek.

“Well... its a mutual fear.” And it was. They had talked about it, many times in fact, and the teen had confided in him on several occasions about how she was afraid that Leanne would never love her like she had loved her own daughter. That she would never be able to compare. He had that same fear. Her love for her husband was supposed to be everlasting, he surely couldn’t compete with that.

“You two have talked about this?” Her eyes opened slowly, his fingers running over the chain to his dog tags. He could tell that she was about to start stressing and he wanted to ease her worries as best as he could.

“More than once.” He whispered, leaning forward to press a kiss against her lips. “Leanne we love you. More than anything in this world. And we want to be a family, the three of us. But we don’t wanna hurt you. We know how hard this is for you. How you never expected to move on. We know. And we don’t wanna be the reason you’re hurting. You’re the most important person in the world, to both of us, and we just wanna make you happy.”

“Having my family together would make me happy Ethan.” Her voice was so soft that he barely heard her words, but they made his heart race. He wanted his family together more than anything in this world and he would do whatever it took to make that happen.

“I love you.” He meant it so much that his heart hurt just saying it. “So much more than you’ll ever know.”

“I know.” She dropped her head forward to rest against his shoulder, her arms wrapping around him tightly as she clung to him. “I love you too.”

“I don’t think you do.” He said softly, pushing her away gently so that he could look into her eyes. “I don’t think you know how much I care about you. I know that I’ve fucked up in the past and that I’ve made some stupid decisions. But it doesn’t change how I feel about you.” He could feel the tears forming in his eyes at his words and he reached up to cup her cheek gently in his hand. “I love you. More than I’ve ever loved anyone. And I don’t know what I’d do without you.” He watched as a small smile came to her face, despite the tears in her eyes. “And I promise you, one day, when you’re ready and your heart isn’t so lost and you know it’s time, I’m gonna marry you. And I’m gonna make you my wife. And you’re gonna be stuck with my grumpy ass for the rest of eternity.”

“Promises, promises.” She whispered back, her fingers dragging along his neck softly as she winked at him.

“I am.” He grinned at her, his lips pressing gently against hers as he spoke. “I’d do it today if that’s what you wanted.”

“Ethan...” He could see the skepticism in her eyes, the doubt, the questioning, and he wanted to squash that fear more than he ever wanted anything.

“When you’re ready, you tell me.” His voice was soft, his lips pressing a kiss to her nose as he brushed the newly fallen tears from her cheek. “Somehow, someway, give me some kind of hint. I’ll hit that infamous one-knee pose faster than you can imagine.”

“You’re insane.” She whispered. “You know that right?”

“Maybe. But I’m also hopelessly in love with the most beautiful woman in the world and I don’t care who knows it.” And he meant it, more than anything he had ever said before in his life. And he would do it, he would marry her right now if he could. He had a ring hidden under the clothes in his bottom drawer, an old rose gold antique that had once been his mother’s and her mother’s before her. And a daughter who would swoon over a proposal and would probably insist on them getting it done and over with right then and there. He wanted nothing more than to make this beautiful woman his wife.

“So does this mean you’ll move in?” Her question made his heart skip a beat.

“This totally means I’ll move in.” He smiled at her, his fingers tangling in her hair as he dragged her lips to his.

“Good.” She whispered into the kiss, her hands moving to tangle in his hair once more.

They sat that way for a few minutes, their lips dancing softly over each other, their hands getting lost on bare skin. He pulled back only when the need for air outweighed his need for her, and he couldn’t help but smile when she dropped her head to his shoulder with a whimper. They had done a lot of exhausting activity in the past 24 hours and he figured her body was probably feeling it just as much as his was.

“You know I’m sorry right?” He whispered, his fingers running over her rib cage softly.

“About what?” He guessed he deserved that question. He did have an awful lot to be sorry for these days.

“About everything.” He pressed his head against hers, dropping a kiss to her hair as he held her close against his chest. “Everything with Rox. The fighting, the pregnancy scare, the whole nine yards. I never meant for it to get so out of control.”

“I know Ethan.” She said softly, her fingers running down his back slowly. “You’ve apologized a hundred times.”

“I’ll apologize a hundred more if that’s what it takes.” And he meant it. He hated that he had hurt her and Ariel so much with what he had done.

“I know you didn’t mean it. I know she didn’t mean it either.” He was glad to hear that. Neither he nor Rox had any intention of causing this much trouble, of that he was certain. “It happened and it’s over. Let’s just leave it at that.”

“I love you.” He whispered against her hair, his eyes closing as he relished in holing her so close once more. “So, so much. I don’t want you to ever forget that.”

“I know Ethan.” She whispered back, her arms tightening around him.

“The only person in the world I want to have a baby with is you.” The words left his mouth before he could even fathom what he was saying and he instantly wanted to take them back. He didn’t even know if she wanted more children, or if that concept was even something worth discussing, but he wanted them. And the only woman he wanted to see pregnant with his child was her.

“I’m happy to hear that Ethan.” She pulled back at his words, her eyes darkening slightly as she locked them with his. “But that’ll never happen.”

“Why not?” He didn’t know if he would regret knowing the answer to that question or not.

“It can’t.” Her words were soft, her eyes filling with a new round of tears and he felt his heart break a little in his chest.

“Can’t?” He ran his hand down her back slowly, his other moving back to her cheek to tug her forehead to his. “Or you don’t want it too?”

“I don’t wanna fight about this.” She sobbed, her tears pouring down her face.

“We’re not fighting Lea. I just wanna know.” He didn’t want this to be a fight. He didn’t want to ruin the goodness that had come from the last 24 hours. He just wanted to know if he should ever expect a baby with her or not. “Can it really not happen? Like ever? Or do you not want another one?”

“We have Ariel.” He could tell that she was barely holding on, her fingers shaking against the chain of his dog tags. “Isn’t that enough?”

“Of course that’s enough.” He whispered, leaning in to press a kiss against her lips softly. “I was just curious.”

They sat there in silence for a few minutes, their foreheads pressed together, her breaths soft as she sobbed quietly, his hands shaking as he did his best to offer what little comfort he could for her. It broke his heart to know that there was no chance that they could have a baby together. He knew it was a long shot, neither one of them were spring chickens by any means, but he still hoped that it was a possibility. His step-mom had been four years older than Leanne when she had had her youngest, his half-brother, and while he knew the risks increased with age, he also knew that modern medicine was a marvelous thing.

“It can’t happen Ethan.” She whispered after a minute, her eyes opening as she leaned back in his lap slightly. “Or at least that’s what I’ve been told.”

“By who?” He was curious as to who had given her this horrific news.

“My doctor. Well, several doctors actually.” He watched as something inside her eyes changed, a fire being lit as she shuddered in his arms. “Five years ago, after the accident. I had a rough delivery with Caitlin to begin with. Then... I was injured in the crash. They said it was impossible.”

“That was five years ago.” He knew that things could change. That the body healed with time. That not all hope was lost simply because of something that had happened a few years ago.

“Not much has changed in the concept in five years Ethan.” He knew that much, babies were still conceived the same way, most of the time anyway. But there were drugs that could help and things they could do to increase their chances. And he wasn’t about to give up on their chances for a baby until he knew for certain that all hope was lost.

“So... what’s the issue?” He didn’t know if she would tell him what was really wrong. If something was medically off, she had to know that he would understand.

“I don’t even know.” Her words were soft and honest and he watched as she took a deep breath before continuing. “They just said it wouldn’t happen. Honestly, I didn’t bother to ask. I couldn’t even fathom having kids again after losing my babies. I didn’t even want to think about it.”

“So there’s a chance that we could still conceive?” If she didn’t know why they told her she would never get pregnant again than surely there was a possibility that they could tell her that she might.

“Maybe. I don’t know.” She shrugged her shoulders as she looked away from him, her cheeks flushing slightly as she spoke softly. “Look, you’re the only guy I’ve been with other than my husband. Ever. And he and I didn’t exactly go at it like rabbits. Eli and Caitlin were planned, down to the day practically, that was just how he did things.” She let out a soft sigh as she shifted her gaze back to him. “I don’t know what the chances are. I mean, we’ve been sleeping together how long? I haven’t had a scare once.”

“Sometimes it takes time.” He whispered, a small smile coming over his face. They certainly weren’t doing anything to prevent getting pregnant so maybe they stood a better chance than she had with her late husband.

“I know that you goof.” She laughed softly, her fingers tickling the back of his neck as he felt her start to relax in his arms once more.

“Well, I’m just saying.” He leaned forward, pressing a kiss to her nose with his words. “Maybe once things calm down and we’re not as stressed and we’re on the same page it’ll happen.”

“Ethan...” She dragged his name out a little, a soft glint coming to her eyes as she stilled her hands against his neck.

“What?” He asked innocently, his lips curling upward as he raised an eyebrow at her.

“You really want a baby don’t you?” Her question sent a chill down his spine and he chuckled softly at the light in her eyes. He could tell that he wasn’t the only one who was thinking about this more and more.

“I wouldn’t mind a baby. With you. And only you.” The truth was, he would give anything to have a baby with her. “Look, I love Ariel and she is my entire world. But I missed all the fun stuff with her.”

“The fun stuff?” She raised an eyebrow at him as she spoke. “You mean the pregnancy cravings, the late nights, the thousands of diapers, the temper tantrums and ear infections? You missed all that fun stuff?”

“Yes.” He offered softly, his eyes watering at the thought of a little baby in their lives. “But I was thinking more along the lines of seeing you pregnant, the first time they smile at you, that new baby smell. The kisses and the first steps and the refrigerator full of priceless artwork.” He saw tears return to her eyes too and he knew that he had gotten her, that he was making her want all that stuff too. “I missed that stuff. I wouldn’t mind having the bad things as long as I got the good things too.”

“I’m sure I can convince Ariel to color you some pictures for the fridge.” She smiled at him brightly, her eyes twinkling despite the moisture in them.

“Smart ass.” He leaned forward and nipped at her lips softly, his hands tangling in her hair as he held her close.

“I’m just saying.” She whispered after a minute. He felt her hands start to roam down his bare back, her eyes darkening slightly.

“Look, if you’re really against it, we don’t have to do it.” And he meant that too. While he wanted a baby with her more than anything, he just wanted her to be happy. That was his ultimate goal. “I’m not saying that it’s a make it or break it decision. I love you regardless of whether or not we have a baby together. We have Ariel. And that will always be more than enough.”

“I love you Ethan.” She whispered, her lips pressing against his softly.

“I love you too Lea.” He whispered back, his lips curling upward into a smile as she kissed him once more.

“I guess having a baby wouldn’t be so bad.” Her words shocked him and he did a double take, his eyes widening as he pulled back from her slightly.

“Only if you really want this...” He prayed that she did. He prayed that having a baby wouldn’t be something that would break them.

“I do Ethan. I didn’t realize how much I wanted this until now.” Her soft voice made his heart flutter and he couldn’t believe he was hearing her say those words to him. “Thinking that Rox was having your baby, that she was going to get to do all those fun things with you, it broke my heart. I didn’t even know I wanted that.” He let out a sigh when her eyes filled with tears once more. He could tell that this was coming from a place deep inside, that this was something she had never expressed to anyone else before, probably not even Jesse. And it broke him. “I’ve never... I’ve never thought about having more kids. Not after losing Caitlin and Eli. I never thought I would get the chance to start over.”

“Well I’m here for just that.” He smiled at her softly, his fingers running down her cheek to her neck, cupping her head softly as he leaned in to press a kiss against her lips. “We can start over. Both of us. Us and Ariel. We can start a life together. It’s what I’ve wanted since I met you.”

“You’re so full of shit.” He chuckled at her words, his eyes glowing as he saw her smile at him.

“Maybe.” He whispered, his left hand moving to run along her hip, his fingers dipping just inside the waistband of her underwear. “But you love me.” 

“That I do.” She said softly, her fingers trailing down his back slowly as she smiled at him brightly. “More than anything in this world.”


	46. Good News

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leanne has some good news to share with Ethan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *These chapters are based off 3x11 but I am diverging from canon in a few ways. This one is kind of short and sweet, but I wanted to set the tone for the next few chapters after it, so I figured starting here was a good place. **Spoilers for 3x11.**

Leanne had been beyond thrilled when she had received the letter stating that her court hearing for Ariel’s adoption had finally been scheduled. She gotten the envelope in the mail earlier that day but she had hesitated to open it. Ariel had come home from school in a horrible mood, and Ethan had been practically bedridden for the last few hours of the afternoon with a migraine, and she decided that if it was in fact bad news, she couldn’t bare to deal with it now. She had made dinner alone, and ate alone, and she had crawled into bed with Ethan to catch a quick nap before leaving for her shift, only to find him already in the shower and getting ready for work. She had let out a huff as she collapsed back against the pillows, her body, and her heart, hating these stupid shifts they had been pulling the last few weeks.

Ever since their talk two weeks ago, about marriage and babies and moving in, things between them had been great. In fact, they had been better than great. And he had ever so slowly started moving his things into her place. Ariel had been thrilled when they had told her the good news that Saturday night and she had cried happy tears as she declared that she would be the first one to help him pack. They had spent the next day at his place, patching up what they could and just enjoying the time together. But then Monday had rolled around and things had gone downhill with the teen from there.

She had been in some kind of funk. A horrible, awkward, funk. And Leanne hated it. Ethan had chalked it up to too much change in such a short period of time. Claiming that she was just trying to wrap her head around it. She should have known that he would make an excuse for the girl. But then Ariel had snapped at Ethan that Friday night, in a way that Leanne had never seen, and they had been on edge with each other ever since.

But then she had opened the letter when she had gotten to work that night and the good news stared back at her like a beacon of hope. Like a light in their ever growing darkness. And she prayed and prayed that this would be the good news that Ariel needed to get out of her rut. To finally come back to them and be their sweet girl again. She couldn’t wait to share the letter with anyone who was willing to listen and she had been walking around smiling like an idiot for the better part of the night. She had yet to see Ethan again since they had kissed ‘goodbye’ in the locker room before their shifts had started, but she had been searching for him non-stop.

“What’s with the shit eating grin?” Ethan’s voice was soft and humorous and when she looked up from the patient chart in her hands she couldn’t help that her smile grew ten times.

“You sound just like Jesse, you know that?” The nurse had made the same comment about her smile just a few short hours ago and while she had joked with him about it, she knew that he understood the seriousness of it.

“What?” He shrugged his shoulders as he pushed himself up off of the doorframe of her office, his eyebrow raising as he shoved his hands in the pockets of his cargo pants. “I just don’t think I’ve ever seen you smile like that, at least not at work anyway.”

“I got the papers today.” She couldn’t hold back her excitement anymore and she grabbed the folded piece of paper from her scrub pocket, her body moving to stand as she rushed toward him. “Ariel’s court hearing has been scheduled.”

“You’re kidding me?” His face lit up like a Christmas tree and she couldn’t help but feel her heart swell at his shared excitement. “Let me see that!”

“It’s finally coming together Ethan.” She whispered, her hands depositing the letter in his with a soft sigh. She watched as he read over the piece of paper, tears forming in his eyes as he shifted his gaze back up to her. “She’s finally gonna be mine. She can finally be ours. We can finally be a family.”

“Leanne this is great!” He handed the paper back to her but as soon as she placed it back in her pocket his arms were around her, pulling her against his chest with a sigh. She was surprised that he was willing to show such an open gesture of affection in a place where they could possibly be seen. “She’s gonna be so happy.”

“She’s been pulling away so much lately.” She whispered against his t-shirt, her hands gripping his jacket softly as she closed her eyes. She was so thankful that she had him to lean on. “I don’t know what’s gotten into her. I know she’s ready for you to move in. I think she’s tired of waiting for us all to be under one roof.”

“Soon love.” He whispered back, his hands pushing her away gently as his eyes locked with hers. “I have a meeting with the realtor on Friday. Once I get the all clear I’ll be out.”

“I know. I just... things are finally starting to fall together.” She swallowed back the tears that were threatening to fall and when Ethan dropped his forehead to hers, a gesture that he did when he knew that she was getting stressed, she felt her racing heart slow down some. It calmed her and she didn’t really know why, but having him so close, in such an intimate position was making her heart flip flop in her chest. “It’s been almost six years since anything has made any sense. I’m just ready to start over already.”

“I know baby.” He dropped a soft kiss to her lips, his hand tangling in her hair as he pulled her close. “Me too.”

“I made an appointment with my doctor.” She whispered softly, her eyes locking with his as she ran her fingers over the nape of his neck slowly. She wished that they were at home, where prying eyes weren’t watching. She had already seen Noa stop and give them a soft smile, and if Angus didn’t pick his jaw up off the floor soon his face was going to be stuck like that.

“For...?” He let his free hand fall to her hip as he dragged her even closer, their noses bumping as he let his fingers skim under her scrub top. The feeling of his hands on her shouldn’t be doing the things to her that it was doing, but she was putty in his hands right now.

“To get some tests done. Some scans.” Her voice was barely a whisper, and when his eyes grew wide, his fingers stilling their movement against her stomach, she couldn’t help the small smile that came over her lips. “To see if what they told me five years ago still stands.”

“So what? Like, about having a baby?” She nodded her head softly, thankful that his voice was low enough that no one could hear their exchange. The last thing she needed was someone spreading that rumor all over the hospital. “You’re kidding me right?”

“It doesn’t mean anything Ethan.” She prayed that it would mean everything. That they would tell her the exact opposite of what the doctors had told her five years ago. “I won’t know until I go for the appointment.”

“When is it?” His question was soft and she could see the need in his eyes. The desire to be there for her, the desire to do this together.

“Thursday.” She dropped her hand to his shoulder and pulled back slightly when she saw Campbell walk by. He stopped and did a double take, his head shaking back and forth as a small smile formed on his normally stern face. She knew that he was well aware of their relationship, no matter how hard they tried to hide it, but she was surprised to see that he didn’t say anything. Instead, he stopped next to Angus and made some snide comment about his face getting stuck that way, and she could hear Noa’s laugh echo through the otherwise quiet space.

“I’ll be there.” He whispered, his hand reaching for her hip once more. 

“You don’t have too.” It’s not that she didn’t want him there, because she did. If she was being honest with herself she was downright terrified right now. And she knew that she would be even worse on Thursday.

“I’ll be there.” He tugged her back toward him, his lips pressing a soft kiss against her head.

“I didn’t tell Ariel.” She hadn’t even mentioned the concept of a baby to Ariel. In fact, ever since their talk in the car two weeks ago, she hadn’t brought up the concept of marriage to her either. She figured that Ethan moving in with them was one hurdle, and they could handle the others as they came, if they ever did.

“We shouldn’t. Not until we know more.” His voice was soft and she could see the glimmer of hope in his eyes. The way they were shining in the low light of her office, the smile on his face doing little to hide his excitement. “I don’t wanna get her hopes up or get her even more agitated.”

“Do you think it could really happen?” She wanted it to happen, more so than she ever would have thought, and she prayed that they weren’t getting their hopes up for nothing. She knew the chances were slim, her age and her health were certainly not helping their case any.

“I pray it can.” He leaned forward then, pressing a soft kiss against her lips. She had just wrapped her arm around his shoulders when Rox appeared in the doorway, her eyes rolling at the sight in front of her. But instead of looking angry, or even the slightest bit aggravated, she smiled.

“Willis!” She knocked on the door softly just as Noa appeared behind her. “We gotta go!”

“That’s me.” He sighed as he pulled from the kiss, his forehead falling against hers as he closed his eyes. “I’ll see you in a bit.” He dropped another quick peck to her lips, his hands squeezing her hips as he pulled away, his long legs carrying him toward the door. “Don’t tell Ariel until I get home!”

“I won’t.” She replied softly, watching as Rox patted him on the back as he poked at Noa, the young girl smiling. She knew that both women were well aware of her good news and she was thankful that they seemed to support them both. “I promise!”

“I love you!” He shouted softly, his body turning to face her as he walked backward, Noa tugging on his sleeve as Rox let out a cackle at Campbell’s pleas for him to stop being so mushy.

“I love you too!” She shouted back, the shit eating grin returning to her face as she watched him blow a kiss. If Campbell’s eyes had rolled any harder they would have surely fallen out of his head and she couldn’t help but chuckle when Angus gave him the same line about his face getting stuck that way. 

She was so incredibly excited about how everything was going. How everything was starting to play out. And she felt her heart flutter in her chest at the prospect of all the goodness to come.


	47. Conflicting Feelings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything had been going great, until that drunk driver had come out of nowhere and Rox had hit the pavement with a thud.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *I am trash for Ethan/Rox okay guys. Like seriously, I need to see them together. However, I am also so obsessed with Ethan/Leanne that I can’t think straight. So I’m doing my best to not destroy one while trying to build up the other. I promise nothing will come of this, and there is no real trouble in paradise, however, I had to address Ethan’s feelings eventually, the accident gives me the perfect stepping stone to do so. (These chapters are based off 3x11 but I am diverging from canon in a few ways.) **Spoilers for 3x11.**

Ethan hadn’t been able to wipe the smile off his face after Leanne had shared the good news with him about Ariel’s papers coming through. About the court date being scheduled and everything starting to work out. He couldn’t wait to get his shift over with so that he could go home to his girls and share the good news with his daughter. And then Leanne had added in the bonus news that she was going to the doctor on Thursday. That she was going to get checked out to see if there was a possibility of them being able to have a baby. He had been so excited and so over the moon and Noa had teased him mercilessly the entire ambulance ride.

He had even joked with Rox and the firefighters, his mood keeping him going despite how awkward it felt to be back on the rig with her again. He had been thankful that it was an easy clean up. Both guys would be fine, all was right with the world, and he could return back to Angels, stitch this guy up, and then get his day over with. His mind on one thing and one thing only. Celebrating.

Everything had been going great, until that drunk driver had come out of nowhere and Rox had hit the pavement with a thud. And he felt his entire world stop spinning. His vision went blurry and his pulse started to race, his legs carrying him toward her still body faster than he could process. She was terrified, he could see it her eyes, hear it in the way she gasped his name. His heart had shattered in two, he knew that she shouldn’t have survived that hit, that something was about to go terribly wrong.

He had stayed by her side through Center Stage, his eyes never leaving her body despite Leanne’s repeated attempts to reassure him that everything was okay. He knew that he should have walked away, that showing any kind of emotion toward her would surely send Leanne into a panic. But it didn’t. Instead, it seemed to encourage her to work faster, to push harder for answers, and he had been thankful. He had seen the tears in her eyes when they had locked with his over Rox’s body, her hands shaking as she tried to steady him. He knew that no matter what animosity she had toward the paramedic, it was all gone now.

They had stabilized her and moved her to a recovery room, her aunt having arrived just as Ethan’s heart had started to stabilize. He had done his best to reassure Emo that everything was okay. That she was in good hands and that these people wouldn’t let anything happen to her. She had confronted him about the fight he and Rox had weeks ago, about how she knew that they cared about each other, but he had brushed her off. Whether he cared for Rox or not was not the issue, the issue was that he felt betrayed by her going to Jesse with something that should have been between them.

When Emo had brought up the pregnancy scare a little while later he had stormed out of the room with a huff, his hand connecting with the wall just outside Rox’s room. Campbell had laid a reassuring hand on his shoulder, but he shrugged him off. There was only one person who could calm him down right now, and it sure as fuck wasn’t the director of the ER. He had sulked his way down the hall and downstairs, his eyes searching for Leanne in the crowded space. He found her with a patient, a soft smile on her face as she tried to reassure the mother of a young child that her little girl was going to be okay. He could see how her smile didn’t quite reach her eyes, how her hands were still unsteady as she handed the girl’s chart to Diego with a sigh.

He motioned for her to meet him in the hallway when her eyes locked with his and he nodded his head when she gestured for him to wait a minute. He had stopped just outside the busy emergency room doors, his back falling against the wall as he dropped his head to his hands, and when he heard the doors push open a few minutes later he was thankful to see she had joined him. He half expected her to blow him off.

“I’m sorry.” He whispered, his fingers going to run through his hair as he tilted his head back against the wall. “This…”

“It’s a lot Ethan.” She said softly, her legs stopping her in front of him as she let out a sigh. “It’s okay.”

“I…” He didn’t even know what to say. His brain was so tangled up and his heart was a mess. He just wanted to go back to bed.

“Ethan,” She reached for him then, her hands going to pull his arms down so that she could look him in the eye, “it’s okay. I’m scared for her too.”

He never thought those words would leave her mouth, not in a million years, and he felt his heart shatter in his chest at the thought that this woman, this pure and loving woman, who had once hated Rox, was now hurting for her. If he had even doubted the size of Leanne’s heart he surely wouldn’t do it again.

“I just want her to be okay.” He said softly, his hands going to pull her against his chest. She let out a soft sigh as she hugged him tightly, her hands gripping against his shoulders.

“Me too.” He barely heard her words, but then Noa was pushing her way through the door, her eyes sad and hollow. He couldn’t imagine how she was feeling right now. She had seen it all happen, the whole thing, she had been there with Rox from the very first second she needed her. He knew she was falling apart just as much as he was.

“Campbell wants to see you.” She whispered, her arms going to wrap around herself. “Both of you.”

For a second he wondered if they were in trouble, but he could see the man in question pacing on the other side of the doors and he figured if he were mad at them for hugging in an abandoned hallway he would have just come in and yelled at them himself. He gently dropped a kiss against Leanne’s head before pushing her back slightly, his right hand going to tangle with her left as he motioned for Will to step through the doors. He watched as Noa moved to leave, but Campbell nodded in her direction, indicating for her to stay.

“Something’s wrong with Rox.” He said softly, his eyes shifting from each of them, his face stone cold as he did his best to hide his emotions.

“Wrong how?” It was Noa’s voice that broke through the silence and Ethan reached out, tugging the young girl against his side as she fought off the tears.

“She can’t feel her arm.” Ethan felt like the wind had been knocked out of him, Leanne’s hand gripping his tightly as Noa let out a soft sob. “Her right eye is unresponsive. We’ve sent her up for another CT, but I don’t think this is something I can fix.”

“What do you mean you can’t fix it?” He barked at the other man, Leanne tugging him backward gently when he pushed himself forward. He didn’t know why he was angry at Will. He was the best surgeon he knew. If he said he couldn’t do it, he trusted him. 

“She needs a neurosurgeon Ethan.” His words were soft and he didn’t move an inch at Ethan’s bucking. “A specialist.”

“Than we find her one.” Leanne’s voice was calm, her hand still gripping his tightly as she stepped forward slightly. “Right?”

“She can’t be moved.” There had been many times in the past year and a half that he had wanted to deck Will Campbell in the face, and this was definitely in the top five of those times at least.

“We stabilize her and we put her on a medivac and we get her help!” He shouted, his hand leaving Leanne’s and his arm dropping from Noa’s shoulders as he stepped forward. He wasn’t afraid to fight the man if that’s what it took. Not after the day he was having.

“I don’t think moving her is a good idea Ethan.” Will still didn’t budge and he still didn’t break and Ethan hated his stoicism more than anything. “We don’t even know where to send her.”

“Then we call around right?” Noa’s question brought him back to reality, her hand soft as it landed on his shoulder, pulling him back toward her. “Surely there’s someone close by that can help.”

“You can call.” He pointed a finger at them all, his eyes softening as he let out a sigh. “But you have to run any decisions by me. Is that clear?”

Ethan let out a sigh but Leanne was agreeing with Campbell before he could argue and he watched as the man retreated back out the doors. He felt Leanne place a hand against his back, but her words were lost to him. His brain was fuzzy and his eyes hurt and he didn’t know how to process what had just been said to him. So instead, he turned himself around and pushed himself between them and stormed off down the hallway as the tears poured from his eyes.

—

That had been three hours ago and he had called every hospital on the western seaboard, searching desperately for someone to help Rox. He had been successful about forty five minutes into his mission. There was a doctor in San Diego who was willing to help. And he was hell bent and determined that he would get there and soon. He had watched as Leanne and Will had struggled to support his decision. Leanne out of what could have very well been jealousy and Will out of worry for his patient. But he didn’t care. Rox needed him to have her back, so that’s exactly what he was going to do.

They had loaded her into the elevator just as Emo had told him to take care of her. Her words about him loving him her felt like a dagger to the heart. He may have loved her, at one point in time, when she was his. But he didn’t love her now. Not like Emo wanted him too. Not like Leanne probably thought he did. He couldn’t respond, instead he stepped inside the metal box, his eyes closing as the doors shut behind him. He let out a breath, thankful that it was just him and Leanne, and Rox’s unconscious body.

“Do you love her?” Leanne’s words cut through the small space like a knife and he felt like he had been punched in the gut, all the air suddenly leaving his lungs.

“I need her to live.” He whispered back, his eyes snapping open as they locked with hers. He watched as she slouched back against the wall, her hands trembling as she continued to squeeze the bag that was currently giving Rox the air she needed to live.

“That wasn’t what I asked.” Her voice was sharp, her eyes dark and narrow as she stood up straighter. He wondered if she was going to leave him for this. If this would be the final straw in their relationship.

“Lea... not now.” He begged, his eyes filling with tears as the elevator neared the roof. He didn’t want to fight with her. He needed her to be strong for him. “Please.”

“Do. You. Love. Her?” She punctuated each word with an icy stare and a short pause and he swallowed as he tried to keep his cool.

“No. Not like that. Not romantically.” And he was telling the goddamn truth. Rox was a good person and she didn’t deserve for him to have dragged her into this mess. She was his friend and she had had his back when he needed it most. He wasn’t going to give up on her. Not when she needed him the most. “She’s my friend Leanne. I care about her.” He took a deep breath as he closed his eyes, reopening them to focus his attention back on her. “It’s no different than if it were Noa on that bed. Or Mario for that matter. I’d move heaven and Earth to save them too.”

“Yeah. But you weren’t once sleeping with Noa, or Mario.” He let out a huff. Okay, so maybe he hadn’t once been sleeping with either one of the residents in question, but it honestly wasn’t any different. He would do anything for either one of those kids. Just like he would do anything for Leanne, or Jesse, or even Campbell for that matter. And he would give anything to just make things right, to get Rox the help she needed so that she could survive. She deserved that much from him.

“Look, I don’t know how to convince you that it’s not like that anymore Leanne.” He felt all the fight leave his body at that point, the elevator dinging as they reached the roof. He let out a sigh as he felt the tears start to fall down his cheeks. He didn’t want to lose Leanne. He loved her, more than he ever thought possible, but he was so sick and tired of trying to make things right. “I’ve told you a thousand times. It’s over. We’re friends.”

“Then stay here.” He barely heard her words over the sound of the chopper in the background and he let out a growl as she stopped him from pushing the gurney forward. “Someone else can go with her.”

“Who Leanne? Who?” He shouted his questions at her, his heart knotting up in his chest and his throat burning as he let his emotions take control. “She has no one else!”

“Her aunt is perfectly capable.” Her words made him do a double take. Surely she didn’t expect for Emo to keep her alive on that flight. Surely she didn’t expect her to do the job of a doctor. 

“She can’t keep her alive until they land!” He hated this. He hated this so much. He could practically feel her slipping away from him. “I have to do this Leanne. I made a promise.”

“You’ve made a lot of promises Ethan.” Her words were like a stab to the chest, her eyes filling with tears as she stepped aside, allowing him to push past her, his hands shaking as he edged Rox closer. “Funny how you seem to keep breaking them for everyone but her.”

“I’m not breaking a single promise that I’ve made to you. Not a one!” He screamed at her, his hands releasing the gurney as the medics took control, loading Rox onto the chopper as they stood there staring each other down. “I’m doing this because she’s my friend and if I don’t go with her, if I don’t help her, she dies!” He didn’t want to lose another friend. Charlotte had been hard enough, and then Heather being taken from them was a shell shock. And then Max, the loss of the teen had been enough to break even the toughest soldier. Especially after he had to watch his little girl fall apart. He expected casualties when he was at war, not when he was at home. “We’ve all lost enough this past year. We don’t need to lose anyone else.”

“If you go...” He could hear the daring tone in her voice, almost like she was challenging him.

“What? I can’t come home?” He took a deep breath as he squared his shoulders, his eyes breaking with hers as he turned his attention to the helicopter only a few feet away. “You’re gonna give me an ultimatum now?”

“No. I...” He shifted his eyes back to her, his heart breaking at the despair in her eyes. He knew that she was scared of losing him. That she thought that this would be the end for them too. He wanted nothing more than to reassure her that he wasn’t leaving her for Rox. That he wasn’t choosing one over the other. That he just wanted to help her, to do his job as a doctor.

“Leanne... I’m flying with her to San Diego. I will make sure that she gets through the surgery fine.” He reached for her then, his hand taking hold of hers as he tugged her forward, his forehead falling to hers with a whimper. “Once she is settled and her aunt is with her I’ll be home. I promise.”

“I wanted you there when I told Ariel the good news.” She sobbed, the tears falling down her cheeks as she gripped his jacket collar.

“Wait until she gets home from school. I’ll be back by then.” And dammit if that wasn’t a promise he would make sure to keep. “Tomorrow morning at the latest. I promise you.”

“Be safe. Please.” She was falling apart then, her body trembling beneath his hands as he gripped her cheeks roughly in his hands. He heard the chopper pilot yell for him to get going and he let out a huff.

“I will.” He whispered softly, his lips pressing lightly against hers as she clung to him for dear life. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” She whispered back. And then he was being pulled away by one of the chopper medics and he felt her face slip from his hands as she let out a soft sob.

He may have wanted nothing more than for Rox to get better, for her life to be saved. But in that very moment, watching his girlfriend being dragged away by Jesse, who had appeared out of nowhere, he wanted nothing more than to jump out of the damn chopper and wrap her in his arms and never, ever let her go.


	48. Disappearing Act

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leanne had watched Ethan vanish into the early morning sun, but she never expected to come home to find that Ariel had performed a vanishing act of her own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *So it kind of kills me that Ethan won’t be present when Leanne searches for Ariel, because come on, that is so not realistic to season 2 canon. But alas, it seems that nothing is anymore. So here we have my take on Ethan’s reaction to finding out the girl is gone. **Spoilers for 3x11** , obviously still diverging from canon.

Leanne had been emotionally, mentally, and physically spent by the time she had left Angels that morning and all she wanted to do was go home and hug her daughter. She had been so excited to share the news with her about her adoption hearing finally being scheduled but when Ethan had made the choice to go with Rox she knew that she should wait for him. She wanted him to be there to share in the joy, after all, this was his family too.

She had been pissed at first that he had decided to go with Rox, that he had thought that being with her was more important. But she could see the desperation in his eyes, the pain and the sorrow and the confusion. She knew that he wasn’t doing this to hurt her, or Ariel, but rather he was doing this to protect himself. She knew that he felt bad for what he had put Rox through, just like he felt bad for what he had put them through, and she knew that he was just trying to make things right. It’s just what he did. That’s just who he was. And honestly, she wouldn’t take that away from him no matter how hard it sometimes was.

After depositing her stuff downstairs she quietly made her way up toward Ariel’s room, praying that she could at least surprise the girl with breakfast before school. The house was quiet though, eerily quiet, and when she called out the girl’s name and got no response she felt her heart slow down, her hands starting to tremble as she reached for the knob on the girl’s bedroom door. Pushing it open she felt the air leave her lungs at the sight in front of her. 

Ariel’s bed was empty, and made, and her candy striper uniform was resting atop the comforter. Her phone was placed on top of it and Leanne felt herself start to panic. She called for Ariel once more, wondering if maybe she was in the bathroom, or had possibly retreated into her room for something. But there was no response. Turning, she noticed that everything of Ariel’s was still there. Her keys, her ID, even her iPod, and she felt her whole world crumble around her.

“Ariel!” She screamed, her legs carrying her through the house as she searched every room. She even threw open the door to Eli’s old room, a room she hadn’t set foot in in years, but she was met with nothing but painful memories. “Ariel!” She moved toward the room at the end of the hall. The room that had once been John’s ‘man cave’. And she stopped when the boxes outside the door caught her attention. She had offered to let Ethan use the room as a place to store his belongings until he could get them all settled in. Her heart fluttered, what was she going to tell Ethan?

“Ariel where are you?” She felt the tears start to fall down her face faster than she could fathom and she raced down the stairs, grabbing her phone from her bag. For a split second she got ready to call the teen, but then she remembered that her phone was tucked into her back pocket and certainly not in the possession of the girl she was searching for. “Ariel please!”

She dialed the only number she could think of, Ethan’s, and she felt her heart start to race as the phone rang and rang and rang. It went to voicemail and she let out a frustrated sigh, hitting redial as she stormed into the kitchen. She threw the back door open, her eyes scanning the back deck and the small swing set in the yard, the teen still nowhere in sight. She got Ethan’s voicemail message once more and she kicked her foot against the doorframe. “Dammit Ethan!” She hit redial once more before turning around and heading back inside. She was at a loss for where to look, obviously the girl wasn’t anywhere in the house and she could feel herself starting to spiral out of control at the thought that something had happened to her little girl. The phone beeped once more, indicating for her to leave a message, so that’s just what she did.

“Ethan for Christ’s sake!” She shouted into the phone, her hands trembling as tears fell down her face. “Pick up the phone! Please!” She felt her knees buckle, her legs giving way as she slid down the wall in the kitchen, her eyes snapping shut as she felt her heart physically break in her chest. “Ethan please! I need you!” She sobbed, her body finally giving in to the demands of the past 24 hours.

She slammed her finger against the end call button, only to hit redial once more. There was no way that he didn’t have his phone on him. Even if he wasn’t expecting her panicked calls, surely he must have been waiting for Rox’s aunt to show up, or for Campbell to check in. Why the hell wasn’t he answering? It rang to voicemail again and she let out a strangled cry as she screamed into the phone.

“For fuck’s sake Ethan James! Answer your damn phone!” She could feel her blood starting to boil, anger starting to replace fear as she silently pleaded for the man to pick up. “Our daughter is gone and I need you! Please just pick up the phone!” She felt her breath hitch in her chest, her head falling back against the wall as she let out another strangled sob. “Please.”

She hung up once more, her body shaking as she tried to control herself. She was no use to Ariel in this condition and she would surely never find her by sitting on the kitchen floor crying hysterically. But unfortunately, she found that that was the only thing she was currently capable of doing. She felt her phone vibrate in her hand and she immediately brought the device up to see who was calling.

“Ethan!” She gasped into the device, her shaking hand bringing the item up to her ear as she closed her eyes tight. “Oh thank god.”

“Leanne, what the hell is going on?” His voice was panicked and she could tell that she had rattled him. Part of her felt victorious, the other part of her hated herself for hurting him too. “I listened to your messages. Where’s Ariel?”

“I don’t know.” She sobbed out, all the anger leaving her body at the sound of the worry in his voice. “I came home from work and she was gone. Everything’s here Ethan. Everything except her.”

“What do you mean gone? Where did she go?” He was rushing his words and stumbling over himself and she could almost see the scared expression on his face. The way his eyes were surely dark with worry.

“I don’t know Ethan.” She could barely catch her breath and it was starting to become painful, her hands trembling as she tried to keep the phone against her ear. “Her phone is here. Her uniform and her ID, even her keys and her iPod. I don’t know where she would go without those things.”

“Do you…?” She didn’t want him to finish his sentence because she was suddenly thinking the same horrible things he was and she didn’t want to fathom those possibilities. “Do you think someone took her?”

“There…” She couldn’t finish her words and she wanted nothing more than for him to come through the door and scoop her up into his arms and never let her go. “There’s no sign of a struggle. Her bed was made and there was still steam on the bathroom mirror. She hasn’t been gone too long.”

“What about her backpack? Was that gone?” She hadn’t even thought to look for the teen’s bag, knowing full and well that if she took that she was at least headed to school for some portion of her day.

“I’ll check!” She jumped to her feet and practically ran up the stairs, her body stopping in the doorframe of the girl’s room, her eyes searching frantically for the black bag. “It’s not here Ethan.”

He let out a sigh of relief on the other end of the phone and she felt herself fall against the door with a sigh. “Call the school Leanne. I’m sure she’s there.” She heard him mumble something to someone on his end and she did her best to control her breathing as she tried to listen to his words. “She had that big English test today, remember? There’s no way she would skip out on that. She knows how important it is.”

“Okay.” She closed her eyes as she tried to calm herself. She knew that calling the school in a panic would do her no good. 

“Look, Rox is out of surgery and her aunt just arrived, so I’m gonna get her settled and filled in.” He said softly, his voice calming as his breaths started to even out. “I’ll catch a ride with the medivac back to Angels and be there within the hour. Okay?”

“Okay.” She could barely contain her sobs at this point, her heart beating rapidly in her chest as she tried to think of all the ways in which Ariel was safe, instead of all the ways in which she could be hurt.

“Call Jesse okay babe?” His tone was soft and reassuring and she had never been more thankful for his ability to go from zero to sixty so quick. “Have him go with you to the school? If for some reason she’s not there let me know. Check the park, and Mario’s, and my house. She has a key to both, she might have let herself in, trying to hide out, you know?” His suggestions made sense, she loved going to the park by the hospital, and she found solace in Mario and Noa’s apartment. She also knew that Ethan’s house was a logical place for her to run, she had her own room there still, her belongings still not fully packed. “I’ll be there as soon as I can and I’ll stop by the beach on my way in.”

“Okay.” She hated that that seemed to be the only word she could say lately.

“It’s gonna be okay baby.” He whispered, his voice cracking as he did his best to stay strong for her. “I promise you. We’re gonna find her.” He paused and she heard him speak to someone on the other end once more, something about how he had to leave, that it was an emergency. She guessed that maybe it was Rox’s aunt that he had been conversing with as well. “I’ve got to go. But I’ll be there soon. I love you.”

“I love you too.” She sobbed out, tears falling down her face once more as she heard him end the call.

——

She had stood there with her back against the door for at least ten minutes, the silence of the house consuming her as she sobbed softly. But then her phone had buzzed in her hand and she saw Jesse’s name flashing before her and she had snapped herself into gear.

“Jesse.” She croaked out, her body moving to make it’s way down the stairs as she spoke.

“Ethan called me. He said Ariel’s missing.” His voice was calm and cool and collected and she was thankful for everything that the man on the other end was for her. “What happened?”

“I don’t know Jesse.” She did her best not to freak out while talking to her best-friend, her heart already in overdrive after having spoken to Ethan. “I came home and she was gone. All of her stuff is here, including her phone. But her backpack is gone.”

“So she must have gone to school?” She could hear the sound of an engine starting in the background and she heard Jesse mutter something to someone nearby.

“She had a big test today.” She took a deep breath. Ariel knew how important school was, not only for her, but for her parents as well. She wasn’t one to skip class, not anymore, not after Ethan had laid into her about how grades were important and how colleges actually did care about that kind of stuff. “She wouldn’t have missed that. I know that for sure.”

“Okay, Noa and I are on our way over.” She let out a sigh of relief, she was so incredibly thankful to have such great friends in her life. “Mario’s headed to their place, he’s gonna check there and the park. And Will’s calling Emily, he thinks she might know what’s up. Said they had been texting all last night about something.”

“Thank you.” She didn’t know what else to say. The fact that they had thought to ask Emily, that Mario was stepping up to look for her daughter, that her friends were picking up the pieces knowing that Ethan couldn’t be there, it sent shock waves through her body.

“We’ll be there soon.” He said softly. “Call the school Leanne. See if she’s there.”

“I will.” And with that he was gone, the house filling with silence once more.

She had made her way down the hall with a soft sob and she stopped in the kitchen as she searched the fridge for the piece of paper with Ariel’s school information on it. Finding the piece of paper she was looking for she quickly punched the number into her phone and waited as it rang. She spoke with the secretary at the school and then the principal, all before hanging up feeling like she had gotten nowhere.

_I called the school._ She sent the message to Ethan as she moved outside to the front porch, her eyes searching for Jesse and Noa, praying they would get there before she lost her cool.

_Any sign of her?_ She let out a sigh at Ethan’s words, her heart racing in her chest.

_They haven’t taken attendance yet, but the secretary said she would check her homeroom and call me back._ She couldn’t believe this was happening, that her daughter was currently missing and no one had a clue where she was.

_Okay. I’m heading out now. I’ll be at Angels in thirty. You talk to Jesse?_ She breathed out a sigh of relief knowing that Ethan would soon be by her side once more.

_He and Noa are coming over. Mario’s checking their place and the park. Will’s handling Emily._ She watched as Noa’s challenger pulled into the driveway, Jesse jumping out before the car had even turned off.

_Good. I’ve gotta go. I’ll see you soon baby._ She smiled at his words, but then her eyes filled with tears as Jesse pulled her close, his arms wrapping around her tightly as Noa made her way up the steps.

“What did the school say?” The other woman’s words were soft as she stopped next to the pair.

“They haven’t taken attendance. They’re gonna check her homeroom though.” Noa let out a sigh as she pulled her into a hug and she watched as Jesse scrubbed his hands over his face.

“Where else would she go?” His question sent panic waves through her once more. She didn’t have a clue where the teen might take solace.

“I don’t know.” She choked out, her hands shaking as she rubbed at her tired eyes.

Noa’s phone beeped and she pulled it from her pocket quickly, her eyes reading over the words on the screen before looking up. “Okay, Mario said she’s not at our place. He’s headed to the park now.”

“Would she have gone to Max’s?” Jesse’s question was shocking and she didn’t know where it had come from.

“I…” She gripped the railing behind her, her head falling forward as a realization hit her. “His grave maybe?”

“We’ll go.” Noa said softly, her hand reaching out to squeeze her shoulder gently. “You stay here in case she comes home.”

She nodded her head at the pair, watching as they both rushed down the stairs toward the car. She hadn’t thought for a second to consider Max’s grave as a place the teen would run to her. She was just a kid, it’s not like she would seek solace in a fresh tombstone, not like she had. She felt a sob wrack her body as she dropped her head forward, tears streaming down her face. She just wanted her home, in her arms, that was all she could think about right now. And until it happened, she wouldn’t be able to stop crying.


	49. My Daughter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ethan wanted nothing more than to find Ariel, and his father getting in his way wasn’t going to stop him. However, today, Jack. Sr. might just surprise him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Because Jack, Sr. hasn’t made an appearance in a while and I needed a catalyst that would drive Ethan partially over the edge, but then also bring him back down again. **Spoilers for 3x11** , obviously diverging from canon.

Ethan’s hands had shook the entire flight back to LA and he had hardly been able to contain himself as he had jumped from the chopper and made his way to the elevator and down to the first floor. Angus had met him at the elevator door, asking if there was anything he could do to help, but he just shoved the kid off, telling him to just stay at the hospital in case Ariel had showed up. He had pulled his phone out his pocket the second he got a second to breathe and he dialed Leanne’s number frantically.

“Any sign of her?” He didn’t even wait for a greeting, his voice rough as he barely got the words out. He had never been so scared in his entire life. Not even finding his brother’s dead body had done him in this badly.

“No.” Leanne sobbed out on the other end of the line.

“Has anyone been to my place yet?” He pulled his bike keys and helmet out of his locker and practically ran toward the parking lot, his heart pounding in his chest.

“Not yet.” He could tell that she was barely holding on, that her heart was breaking on the other end of the line. He wanted to find Ariel more than anything, but he wanted to heal Leanne’s broken heart even more.

“I’m heading there now.” He hopped on the bike and started the engine as he let out a sigh. “I’ll call you when I get there.”

“Be safe.” She whispered, and then she was gone. Ethan let out a huff as he pulled his helmet on, shoving his phone into his jacket pocket as he kicked his feet up.

He had raced to the house, not giving a damn about the speed limit, not when his daughter’s life was possibly in danger. He couldn’t believe that she would do this to them, that she would just up and leave them and not say anything. She didn’t even leave a note, a way to contact her, nothing. He was terrified that something had happened to her, but he was also angry that she would scare them like this. When he pulled into the driveway he was stunned to see his dad’s truck parked next to the Jeep and he let out a sigh, his head hanging forward. He couldn’t do this today, not with everything else going on. 

“Ethan?” His father’s voice greeted him before he could even remove himself from the bike and he felt tears spring to his eyes when he realized that the girl must not be there either. Not if his father didn’t look the least bit phased.

“Is she here dad?” He could barely get out the question, his hands shaking as he pulled his helmet from his head and shifted his gaze up the stairs and toward the older man.

“Is who here?” His dad raised an eyebrow, his voice surprisingly calm. “It’s just me. I came to check on the place. Got a call about someone wanting to see it this weekend. A potential buyer.” Ethan stormed past him and into the house, his eyes searching frantically for any sign of the teen. “I tried calling you but it went straight to voicemail.”

“I was on a medivac from San Diego.” He huffed out, his feet taking him down the hallway toward Ariel’s room.

“Is everything okay Ethan?” He was shocked that his dad didn’t seem the least bit angry or aggressive, it was certainly a first for the older man.

“No dad!” He snapped, turning around to face him as he stopped just outside the teen’s door. “Rox was hit by a car and had to have emergency brain surgery.” He turned back around, his eyes filling with tears as his hand stopped on the doorknob. “And then Leanne went home this morning to find that our daughter was gone.”

“Gone? Gone how?” His dad actually sounded concerned and he swallowed back a lump in his throat.

“She ran away dad.” He turned the knob and pushed the door open slowly, his heart stopping in his chest when there was absolutely no sign of the young girl in her room. “She’s been gone for at least five hours. She left her cell phone, her keys, and her ID. We’ve checked everywhere.” He felt his words catch in his throat as his vision blurred, tears pouring down his cheeks as reality set in. “She’s gone dad.”

“Well then we have to find her.” Jack, Sr.’s hand made contact with his shoulder, softly and almost protectively and he lost it, his knees giving way as he fell to Ariel’s bed.

“I…” He couldn’t breathe, his hands shaking as he dropped his head to them, sobs wracking through his body. He felt the bed shift next to him, his father joining him, his hand still resting softly on his shoulder. “I can’t lose her dad.” He sobbed, his heart slowly breaking in his chest.

“You won’t son.” He had never heard his dad speak so softly to him before, not even when he was a child, not even when he had lost his mother. “We’ll find her.”

“I don’t know what to do.” He rubbed at his eyes roughly, doing his best to dry his tears before lifting his head upward. He shifted his gaze toward the man seated next to him and the look on the older man’s face told him everything he needed to know. He wasn’t doing this alone, not this time. “I don’t know where else to look.”

“Have you checked school? Her friend’s house? The mall?” He wanted to scold his father for asking such stupid questions. Of course they had checked those places. But then he realized that his father was new to this. He had never given much thought to his children’s whereabouts, especially not when they were in trouble. He probably didn’t even realize what he had asked.

“We’ve checked everywhere.” He sighed, his eyes closing as he ran through the list of places that the girl could have gone in his head. “Wait…”

He pulled his phone from his pocket without another thought, his fingers dialing Leanne’s number with ease. It rang a few times before her sweet voice came over the line and he let out a shaky breath as he chanced a look at the man next to him.

“Has anyone checked the beach yet?” His question was frantic and he heard her let out a shaky breath on the other end.

“No.” She answered simply and he shot up from the bed, his legs carrying him toward the front door, his dad hot on his heels.

“Dad and I gonna go look there now.” He heard Leanne let out a sigh at his words and he knew that she wasn’t expecting his father to be a part of this.

“Okay.” She whispered over the line. “Please Ethan…”

“We’re gonna find her baby.” He grabbed his dad’s truck keys and tossed them in the older man’s direction, not even stopping to say anything as he headed for the vehicle. “I promise.” He hung up then, his body turning to see if Jack, Sr. was behind him and he let out a sigh when he realized he was already opening the truck door.

“Which way?” His dad asked, his hands already turning the key in the ignition, his eyes set dead ahead as he pulled the truck down the driveway.

“East.” He dropped his phone onto the dash, his hands scrubbing over his face as he took a deep breath. “There’s a place down by the cove. Not that far from the cemetery. We take Ariel there all the time.”

“I know exactly where that is.” He chanced a look in his father’s direction then, his eyes softening when he could see the worry on the man’s face. He had never seen his dad look, scared, before. Not even when his mom was sick, not when Jack had died, never.

“Why are you doing this dad?” He asked softly, his eyes shifting toward the road as he twisted his hands together in his lap.

“Because son,” His father’s voice was soft and he closed his eyes as he tried to remember a time when he had ever felt like his father had cared before now, “I’ve never seen you so terrified of anything.”

“I can’t lose her dad.” He repeated his words from earlier, another round of tears forming in his eyes. “She’s my whole world. She…” He took a deep breath then, his head falling back against the headrest as he tried to remain in control. “She’s the most important person in the world to me. I… I didn’t know I could love someone so much. That I could ever feel so much happiness just because one person existed.” He let out a soft sob, the tears falling freely now as he reopened his eyes, watching as the scenery flew by. “I love her dad. Her and Leanne. I…”

“I know son.” He felt his father’s hand on his then, squeezing gently before pulling back to return itself to the wheel. “We’re gonna find her and bring her home. I promise.”

He let out another sob as he closed his eyes once more. He just wanted Ariel back in his arms again. His little girl meant everything to him and he couldn’t fathom if something had happened to her. If he lost her, if he lost Leanne, he would surely be a dead man walking.

“I know she’s not mine…” He choked out, his heart tightening in his chest at the words. He wanted nothing more than for Ariel to be his, but he knew there was no way for that to be possible. 

“She’s yours Ethan.” His dad shot a gentle look his way, an understanding in his eyes that he had never seen there before. “She’s yours in the ways that it matters. And that’s what counts. You hear me?”

“You sound like Jack.” He whispered, his eyes watering again at the mention of his brother. He would give anything to have the man by his side right now. He missed his best-friend more than he ever thought possible.

“Yeah well…” His dad shrugged his shoulders, a small smile forming on his face as he spoke. “The kid wasn’t all bad.” 

They rode the rest of the way in silence, his head falling against the glass as he tried to calm himself down. If they found Ariel he didn’t want her to see him this out of control, this panicked, and he knew that he needed to remain calm if he was going to continue to be able to think straight. They had made it to the beach in no time, his dad clearly not giving a damn about speed limits, and when they pulled into the small parking lot that Ethan pointed to he was thankful to see no other cars around. He jumped out of the truck before his dad could even put it in park and his eyes started scanning the area for any sign of the teen.

“See anything?” He heard his dad exist the vehicle behind him and his footsteps followed Ethan down the small path toward the beach.

“Not yet.” He let out a sigh, his desire to run was becoming hard to squash, but he knew that his father would never be able to keep up with him if he did. And for once, he wanted his father by his side in case something went wrong.

“Ethan…” His dad’s quiet voice broke him out of his thoughts just as they made it to the clearing, the ocean coming into view just beyond the dunes. “That her?”

Ethan darted his eyes in the direction his dad was pointing in and he felt his heart stop in his chest. _Ariel._ He knew it was her the second he laid eyes on her and he felt like he was going to black out. He started moving toward her at an alarming rate, his body full on sprinting in her general direction. He stopped a few feet from her, his eyes burning with another round of tears, his heart racing in his chest.

“Angel?” She turned her head to look at him and he felt all of his resolve fade when he saw her almost terrified expression. He reached his arms out for her, her trembling body rising from it’s place on the sand as she moved into his arms. “I got you baby.” He whispered, his arms wrapping around her tightly as she let out a gut wrenching sob, her hands fisting around his Angels jacket as her tears soaked through his t-shirt. “You’re okay sweetheart. You’re okay.” He dropped a kiss to her head as he held her close, his right hand tangling in her hair as he held her as tightly as possible.

“I’m sorry daddy.” She whispered against his chest, her words a strangled mess, her sobs breaking his heart in two. “I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay sweetie.” He whispered against her hair, his eyes closing as he felt a sob tear through his own body. 

He held her as tightly as he could and he never wanted to let her go. He shifted his gaze back toward the way that he had come in but his dad was nowhere in sight. That was when it hit him. He had left his phone in the truck and he had no way of letting Leanne know that she was okay. He prayed that his dad had gone back for it.

“Are you hurt?” He asked softly, pushing the young girl away from him slightly so that he could scan his eyes over her, checking for any visible injuries.

“No.” She said softly, her hands shaking as they gripped onto his biceps tightly. “I’m okay.” 

“Let’s get you home.” He whispered and when she nodded her head, another sob leaving her body, he couldn’t help but pull her back into his arms. “I love you angel.” He dropped another kiss to her head, his arms tightening around her once more.

“I love you too daddy.” She sobbed out and his heart officially broke. The way she called him ‘daddy’, the way her voice cracked with her words, the way her body shook in his arms. He couldn’t handle it anymore, and the dam officially broke, big fat tears pouring down his cheeks as his body started to tremble as well. 

“Let’s go honey.” He pulled back from her after a minute, his forehead falling to hers as he eyed her softly. “Your mom’s worried sick about you.”

She simply nodded her head, her eyes closing as she took a deep breath. He watched as she pulled from his grip then, her hand reaching down to pick up her backpack from the sand. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders, escorting her softly back toward the path just as his father appeared on the other side of the trees.

“I called Leanne.” He said softly, his eyes giving the girl next to him a once over. “Told her we were on our way.”

“Does she know we found her?” His question was quiet, his eyes burning as he fought off tears he didn’t even know he had.

“I told her she was safe.” His father’s words caused the teen to let out a strangled sob and he tightened his grip around her shoulders as they kept walking, his legs barely holding himself upright as they walked past the older man.

“Thank you.” Ethan whispered his words as his dad fell into line next to them and he was thankful when he simply nodded his head, his hand patting him gently on the back as they made their way toward the truck.


	50. Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leanne was just thankful to have her little girl home at last.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *This arc has been emotional and I am officially a wreck. Thanks for sticking by me through this. Since this obviously diverged from canon quite significantly, the next arc, for 3x12, will probably be less related to the content of the show. I will however, do my best to stay on track. I also plan to cover Ariel’s hearing in 3x13 at some point between now and after the finale.

Leanne had been a complete wreck after she spent her morning searching for Ariel. They had had no luck and the school had called to tell her that Ariel never showed up for her first class. She hadn’t gone to Noa and Mario’s apartment, Max’s dad hadn’t seen her, and even Emily had been stumped about her whereabouts. Jesse and Noa had returned and sat with her while she waited for Ethan to get home and she had never been so thankful to hear his voice when he called to check in.

When he had called back almost thirty minutes later, his sad voice carrying over the phone, she had felt her heart break in her chest. The girl wasn’t at his place either, and she had lost all hope. Until Ethan mentioned the beach, and his father, and going to find her, and she had felt her heart start racing in her chest. She knew that Ethan wouldn’t give up until the girl was safely in their arms again.

She had waited on pins and needles for his call, for a text, for something, anything. And when his name flashed across her screen almost an hour after he had gotten home, she felt her whole world stop spinning. Except it wasn’t his soft voice over the line, rather, it was his father’s. And Jack, Sr.’s voice was calmer than she had ever heard it. He told her that they had found Ariel, that Ethan was with her now, that she seemed unharmed. And she let out a sob as Jesse had caught her, her knees giving way at the knowledge that her daughter was okay. 

She had thanked the older man repeatedly and when he told her that they would be home soon she had let out a soft sigh. She had been waiting all morning for those words. She had hung up just as another sob wracked through her body and she was thankful when Jesse wrapped his arms around her tightly, holding her close as she let it out all.

The three of them had sat in silence, waiting for any sign of Ethan and his father, her eyes darting toward the window at any sound of movement outside. When she saw an old green pickup pull into the driveway she let out a strangled sound and she jumped to her feet, racing toward the door and throwing it open. She watched as Ethan existed the vehicle, pausing for a second to speak to the other two passengers. She could see Ariel in the middle, her head nodding slowly at his words. And then he was shutting the door and making his way toward her.

“Ethan…” She shouted his name as he made his way toward her and she shifted her gaze back toward the truck, watching as Jack, Sr. and Ariel stayed put. She didn’t know what kind of game Ethan was playing, but she was not a willing participant. “What’s going on? I want to see her.”

“I know love.” He made his way up the stairs slowly, his eyes soft as he reached for her. “She’s scared okay. I told her that I would talk to you first.”

“Scared of what?” She choked out, her hands going to push at him. “Of me?”

“She’s just… scared.” His voice was quiet and he reached out to pull her toward him, his hands settling on her hips as he dropped his forehead to hers. “She thinks you’re going to hate her.” He choked out, his eyes darkening as he kept her close.

“Hate her?” She felt her heart stop beating, her body slowly going numb at the thought. “I could never…” She felt like her throat was closing up, her vision going blurry as she clung to him. “She’s my daughter Ethan, I could never hate her.”

“I know love.” He whispered softly, his hands tightening their grip on her hips. “She just wants to be with us right now. I think she just needs some time to snuggle and cry. No judgement, no questions.” She let out a sigh at his words. She needed answers, but more than anything, she just wanted her girl back in her arms. “I think she’s scared that we’re going to be mad at her.”

“I’m not mad Ethan.” She shifted her eyes toward the pickup once more, her hands stilling on his elbows as she tried to steady herself. “I just want her in my arms.”

“I know.” He whispered, pulling back slowly as he turned to the truck and motioned for the girl to exit. “She just needs her parents right now. Nothing more, nothing less.”

She watched as Ariel made her way up the walk slowly, her backpack slung over her shoulders. She could tell that she was still trembling some, her hands clinging to the strap of her back tightly. Her head was turned downward, but she could see the tears falling down her cheeks as she got closer and closer.

“Baby girl.” She stepped forward then, her legs moving her around Ethan’s body as she reached for the girl. Ariel paused, her head lifting slowly as her eyes blinked rapidly. “Come here.” 

The girl hesitated, her body pausing it’s way up the stairs as she let out a sob. “Mom?” 

She felt her heart shatter in her chest and she couldn’t wait any longer, her arms pulling the girl to her, tucking her against her chest as she placed a kiss against her head. She felt the girl’s resolve crumble, her arms tightening around her as she sobbed against her shoulder. She watched as Ethan waved to his father, his head nodding softly as the man backed out of the driveway, and she felt bad for not thanking the man for bringing her family back to her.

“Let’s go inside.” Ethan whispered softly, his hand falling against the teen’s back as he spoke. 

She couldn’t find the words so she simply nodded her head, keeping one arm around the girl as she turned toward the front door. She watched as Ethan pulled the door open slowly, motioning for them to enter ahead of them. Ariel let out a sob when her eyes caught sight of Jesse and Noa standing in the doorway to the kitchen. Tucking her closer she simply nodded her head in their direction before escorting Ariel up the stairs, steering her toward her bedroom and closing the door behind them.

She watched as Ariel stopped next to the bed, her book bag falling to the ground with a thud. She didn’t know what to say to the girl, how to make things better. It was slightly comforting to her to know that the girl didn’t seem to know what to do either. 

“I…” Ariel tried to speak, but Leanne could tell that it wasn’t going to happen.

“It’s okay honey.” She whispered, her hands going out to rest on the teen’s shoulders. “Why don’t you change then come to our room?”

The teen simply nodded her head, her eyes filling with tears once more, and Leanne felt her heart break. Leaning in, she dropped a kiss against her forehead before moving to step around her, exiting the room and shutting the door behind her softly. She stopped in the hallway then, her hands trembling as she watched Ethan wave ‘goodbye’ to their friends. He shut the door behind them before turning toward her, and she let out a strangled sob at the look on his face. He had never looked so broken in the entire time she had known him and she felt horrible.

“Hey.” He whispered, making his way upstairs slowly, his eyes misting over as he stopped at the top.

“Hey.” She whispered back. She couldn’t do it any longer, she needed to be in his arms, so that’s just what she did. She moved forward quickly then, her arms going around his waist as she fell against his chest.

“It’s okay honey.” He whispered against her hair, his arms wrapping around her tightly. “She’s home and it’s over and we’re okay.”

“Oh God Ethan.” She sobbed, her hands fisting against his jacket as she clung to him. She couldn’t breathe, her whole body shaking as she closed her eyes shut tight. “What if…?”

“Shhh love, it’s okay.” He gripped her hair softly, his lips pressing a kiss against her head as he did his best to soothe her. “She’s okay.”

“I…” She didn’t know what to say, her mind going blank as she finally let herself shut down.

“I know.” His words were quiet and she clung to him like he was going to vanish any second now. “Have you showered?” She shook her head back and forth as she pulled back slowly, eyeing him through tear filled eyes. “Go. Shower. I’ll sit with her until you’re done.”

“Okay.” She whispered, pulling from him slowly, making her way toward the bedroom behind them. 

She hurried through her shower, pulling on pajama pants and a t-shirt of Ethan’s before exiting the bathroom. When she emerged, the sight before her brought a fresh round of tears to her face. Ethan was laying in the bed with Ariel tucked tightly against his side, both of their eyes closed, their breathing soft. She could tell that Ariel was asleep, but Ethan’s head turned toward her when she let out a gentle sigh. She watched as he offered her a gentle smile, removing himself slowly from the bed, pulling the blanket up over the girl’s shoulders slowly. 

“I’m gonna shower.” He whispered, his hand falling to her hip as he dropped a kiss to her head.

“Okay love.” She whispered back, her eyes never leaving the sleeping teen in front of her. Ethan squeezed her hip softly before heading into the bathroom and shutting the door behind him.

She moved toward the bed then, climbing in beside the girl with a soft moan. She snuggled back against the pillow, pulling her daughter against her chest, tears filling her eyes once more. She hated that the girl was suffering, that she was hurting so bad that she thought that running away from them was the only way to feel better. Choking back a sob, she dropped her head against the girl’s, pressing a kiss to her blonde hair as she hugged her tightly.

When she awoke a few hours later the room was dark and she could hear thunder rolling in the distance, the sound of rain hitting the bedroom window roughly. Blinking her eyes a few times she shifted them to her right side, catching sight of the teen still snuggled against her, her eyes still closed tightly. She turned her head to the other side, her eyes settling on the sleeping man beside her. He was snoring softly, his arm draped over her stomach, his head resting next to hers on the pillow and she felt tears spring to her eyes. She couldn’t imagine if she had had to go through this without him by her side. He had been through so much, especially the past few weeks, and yet he was willing to move heaven and Earth for her and Ariel.

“Mom?” Ariel’s voice was barely audible over the sound of the rain and Ethan’s quiet snores, but she heard her plea nonetheless, and it hurt her in places she didn’t know still existed.

“I’m here baby.” She whispered softly, her arm tightening around her shoulders as she tugged the girl closer, her lips pressing a kiss to her hair as she waited for her to speak once more.

“I’m sorry.” She sobbed out, her arms moving to wrap around her tightly. “I’m so sorry.”

“I know sweetheart.” She felt her heart break at her words, she knew that the girl had never meant to cause her or Ethan any pain. “It’s okay.”

“I screwed up didn’t I?” Her voice was shaky and when Leanne looked down she could see her soft brown eyes staring up at her. They were full of pain and sorrow and confusion. She had never seen the girl look so lost. Not even after her father had died.

“Shhh honey. Let’s not talk about it now.” She dropped another kiss to her head as she felt Ethan stir beside her, his arm tightening around her waist as he tried to drag her closer.

“Lea? Ariel?” His voice was rough and sleepy and when she turned her attention toward him she could see the torment in his eyes. She knew that while she was hurting from all of this, that he was hurting from so much more.

“We’re here Ethan.” She whispered, her other hand going out to run through his hair as she tried to soothe him.

“Ariel?” He pushed himself upward, his eyes searching through the dark room frantically for the girl.

“Daddy?” She untangled herself from Leanne’s side then, scrambling over her in an attempt to get closer to her father. She collapsed in the space between them that Leanne had made and she threw her arms around the man with a sob. “I’m so sorry.” She sobbed out. “Please don’t send me back. Please.”

Leanne’s heart shattered into a thousand pieces at the girl’s pleas, her eyes filling with tears as she heard Ethan let out a gasp, his arms tightening around the girl as he pulled her to his chest. She locked her eyes with his over the teen’s shoulders and she couldn’t believe the sadness that she saw in them. She let out a sob as she scooted herself closer, wrapping an arm around the teen as she let her tears consume her.

“It’s okay baby.” Ethan ran his hands up and down her back, his lips pressing kiss after kiss to her head as he hugged her closer. “You’re not going anywhere angel. You hear me?” He pulled back slightly, letting his forehead fall to rest against hers as he gripped her cheeks tightly between his palms. “You’re ours now honey. That’s never going to change.”

Ariel let out a sob that would have broken the strongest of men and Leanne couldn’t help but tug her closer, her head falling against hers as the girl grabbed at Ethan, pushing herself back into his arms with a desperate cry. She felt one of Ethan’s hands land against her own cheek, his eyes peering at her from around the girl once more as he clung to them both like he was going to lose them at any moment.

“I love you.” She whispered, her lips pressing against Ariel’s head as she held the girl tight. “I love both of you so much.”

She felt Ariel let out a soft hiccup, her body relaxing against hers as she settled back against the pillows, her body nestled perfectly between hers and Ethan’s. She watched as the girl blinked her eyes a few times before closing them softly, her head falling to rest against her shoulder, her left arm still wrapped around Ethan tightly, her right falling to her stomach as exhaustion took over. She chanced a look at Ethan then, but his eyes were closed too, his head settling on the pillow next to Ariel’s, his right arm wrapped tightly around the girl’s shoulders, his left hand still resting against her own cheek. She let out a soft sigh when she noticed the tears that were still falling down his cheeks, despite the soft snores suddenly coming from his body. Letting out a soft sob she settled herself back against the pillows as well, her right hand going to rest against Ethan’s forearm as her left arm tugging the girl even closer. And that was how they fell asleep, their faces tear stained, their bodies exhausted, and their hearts in pieces.


	51. Answers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ariel knew that her parents wanted answers, but she wanted some answers of her own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Obviously this is still diverging from canon for 3x11 and 3x12. I have no intention of making Max’s father have any role in this (like he apparently does on the show).

Ariel was exhausted. No, scratch that, she was beyond exhausted. Her whole body ached and her head was pounding and her heart felt like it would surely never beat the same again. She still couldn’t believe that she had actually run away from home. It’s not like she hadn’t done it before, in fact, when she lived in Minnesota, she did it all the time. But she didn’t have a family there who cared about, she didn’t have people there who were surely worried sick about her while she was gone. But here, here she had a family and she had people and she felt sick knowing that she had hurt them with her actions.

Opening her eyes slowly she let them focus on her surroundings, blinking several times to break the fuzziness that had accumulated from crying for hours on end. She could hear rain hitting the window of the room she was in, and when she turned her head to the side she could tell that she was in Leanne’s bedroom. Her mother’s bedroom. In her mother’s house. Where she belonged.

She felt a sob wrack through her body at the thought. She couldn’t believe she had been so stupid. She had just felt so hurt, so lost and betrayed, and she wanted nothing more than to get away from all the pain she was feeling. Swallowing back another sob she pushed herself into a sitting position, listening out for any other signs of movement in the house. The clock on the bedside table told her it was a little after ten in the morning and she wondered how she had managed to sleep for so long.

Dragging herself out of the bed slowly she moved into the bathroom with a soft sigh. When she exited a few minutes later she decided that she should probably go in search of her parents, sure that they were somewhere in the quiet house. She opened the bedroom door quietly, her ears straining for any sounds of movement or life of any kind. She could hear music filtering down the upstairs hallway and the light in the room at the end of the space was on. 

Making her way toward the room slowly she stopped just outside the door when she saw Ethan packing books into a box behind him. He was dressed in jogging pants and an Angels shirt and she could tell simply from looking at him that he was exhausted. She leaned back against the doorframe as she watched him for a few minutes, her heart racing in her chest at the thought that she could have lost this man forever. She didn’t know what she had done to deserve a father like him, not after everything bad that she had done in her life, but she sure was thankful for his presence.

“You just gonna stand there and stare at me kid?” His soft voice broke her of her thoughts and she jumped slightly, her hands wringing together in front of her. 

“Sorry.” She whispered her response, her head falling forward as she watched him turn around to face her.

“Don’t be.” He dropped the stack of books in his hand into the box and moved toward her slowly, his hands going out to rest on her shoulders as he stopped in front of her. “How you feel?”

“Tired.” She couldn’t remember a time she had ever felt so tired. Not even when she had been recovering from the virus a year ago. She guessed that maybe emotional trauma was sometimes worse than physical. “Like I could sleep for days.”

He let out a soft chuckle as he pulled her close, his arms wrapping around her with a soft sigh. “Sounds about right.” He dropped a kiss to her head as she wrapped her arms around his waist, letting her head fall against his chest, resting against his heart as she did her best to control her breathing. 

“Mom home?” She knew that they needed to talk, all of them, and that it was better to just get the torment out of the way.

“She ran out for a bit.” He said softly, pulling away from her as he cupped her cheeks gently against his palms. “We were out of food.”

“Oh, okay.” She didn’t know why she was having such a hard time forming words right now. She normally had no problems talking to Ethan about stuff. This really shouldn’t be any different.

“Wanna help?” He gestured behind him at the bookshelf that he had been working on. “Leanne said I could use this as an office. She didn’t wanna move this stuff, too many memories, ya know?”

Ariel simply nodded her head at her father’s words, she knew exactly what he meant by that. Leanne had told her that this had once been John’s ‘man cave’ and judging by the tacky movie posters on the wall and the hideous 60s patterned furniture, Ethan had no plans to keep it as such.

“What do you need to do?” She swallowed as she pulled back from him, stepping into the room as he moved back to his spot by the shelf.

“Just pack these books and movies up.” He grabbed another handful of books and tossed them behind him into the boxes.

“You don’t wanna keep them?” She let her eyes scan over the movies on the shelf behind her, her brain not recognizing the titles of any of the cases she was looking at.

“Westerns and B-list comedies aren’t really my thing.” He joked, a soft chuckle leaving his lips as he shot her a curious glance. “And I’ve never heard of any of these books before.”

“Yeah,” She reached forward to pull one of them from the box in between them, her eyes scanning the cover, “I get the impression John was an odd one.”

“Don’t tell your mother that.” He pointed at her softly, a small grin on his face as a light reached his eyes that she hadn’t seen there in days. She was hopeful that their relationship hadn’t been completely ruined by her actions from yesterday.

“Never.” She whispered back, her eyes twinkling as she offered him a smile. He handed her an empty box from beside him then and gestured toward the bookcase next to her. 

They worked in comfortable silence for a good twenty minutes, clearing off all the shelves in the room. They had packed all the boxes and movies into separate boxes and Ethan had moved them into the hallway and stacked them neatly, his messy handwriting labeling each box as he went. Ariel had found a few pictures amongst the stuff and she had gently removed them from their frames before placing them on the small table on the far wall. Surely Leanne would want to keep those, especially considering that she hadn’t seen many pictures of the kids in the house since she had arrived. Ethan had then pushed the two bookcases together against the far wall by the window and he had stood and stared at the ugly couch for a good ten minutes before huffing. 

“I don’t know what to do with that.” Ariel watched as he tilted his head to the side, eyeing the object in front of him curiously.

“Did mom tell you what to do with this stuff?” She felt like the couch had gotten worse in the last thirty minutes, it’s hideous pattern causing her eyes to hurt the more she looked at it.

“She just told me to box the stuff up, that she’d sell it or something.” He turned to face her then, his hands going to his hips as he eyed the matching chair, a small groan escaping his lips. “She said nothing about this hideous furniture.”

“What’s that I hear about hideous furniture?” Leanne’s voice was soft as it carried down the hallway and both Ariel and Ethan snapped their heads in her direction, their eyes going wide at her question. “Oh God.” She gasped out, her hand going over her mouth as she stopped in the doorway. “I had forgotten how ugly that set was.”

Ethan let out a soft chuckle, his body relaxing when he realized that they weren’t in any kind of trouble. Ariel felt herself let out a breath she didn’t realize she had been holding. The last thing she wanted to do right now was have an even angrier Leanne on her hands.

“Who picked this shit out Lea?” Ethan’s question was soft as he kicked his foot against the couch beside him. “It’s horrible.”

“It was a gift.” She said softly, her arm going out to wrap around Ariel’s shoulders, tugging her close. “From my mother-in-law.”

“Was she blind?” Ariel instantly regretted the question and she slapped her hands over her mouth at the comment. She waited for a harsh response from the woman currently holding her close, but instead she simply laughed, her lips turning upward into a smile.

“Sometimes I wondered sweetie.” She dropped a kiss to her head before releasing her, stepping further into the room to investigate the items more. 

“Well,” Ethan dropped his hands from his hips as he tilted his head at her, “what should we do with it?”

“Burn it.” Leanne said softly, a small chuckle leaving her lips.

“Seriously?” Ariel felt the question leave her lips before she could process what she was saying and Ethan let out a chuckle at her response.

“You really think someone’s going to want this crap?” She felt her lips turn upward into a smile at the woman’s words, her eyes glowing as she turned to face them both. 

“Well…” Ariel could tell that Ethan was trying to be nice. “We could keep it…”

“Like hell we will.” Leanne’s response caused them all to laugh and Ariel felt like her sides were going to burst as she doubled over. She had missed having this much fun with them.

Ethan simply shook his head as he wiped at his face, tears falling from his eyes as he tried to control his laugher. “I’ll call Mario. See if he can help me get it out of here tomorrow.”

“That sounds like a great plan.” She whispered back, her arms going to wrap around his waist as he tugged her close, his lips pressing against hers softly.

Ariel wanted to back out of the room and leave them, to give them some space and let them be. Surely they didn’t want to deal with her right now, not when they were having such a great time together. She hadn’t seen them this happy around each other in months and it broke her heart to think that maybe she was the reason they had been suffering through so much.

“You hungry kid?” Ethan’s question broke her out of her thoughts and when she lifted her tear filled eyes up she realized that they had both been staring at her, soft expressions on their faces.

“Yeah.” She whispered, her arms going to wrap around herself as she tried to calm her nerves. She was so tired of crying, so tired of feeling so unwanted.

“Wanna go get lunch?” She watched as Leanne’s eyes shifted toward him before rolling.

“I just bought food you nut.” She poked at him, a small smile on her face as she eyed him softly.

“I know.” He gently moved forward then, grabbing something off the table by the window. “But I need some tools if I’m gonna take this entertainment center apart.” He turned back toward them with a smile. “And everything I have is at the house.”

“Fine.” She huffed out. But Ariel could tell that she wasn’t mad, her eyes shimmering as she moved toward her, her hands settling on the girl’s shoulder’s softly. “Why don’t you go shower baby? We’ll leave when you’re ready.”

“Okay.” She simply nodded her head, her hands falling to her sides as she gently turned herself away from them, making her way down the hall and toward her bathroom. She was thankful that they hadn’t pushed her to talk right then and there, but she was fearful that it was just going to make things worse in the long run.

——

After she had showered and gotten dressed she had made her downstairs quietly, pausing when she caught sight of Ethan and Leanne sitting at the kitchen table, looking over something on the Ethan’s laptop. She had stopped in the doorway, a soft sob escaping her lips. She wondered if they were doing more research about having a baby. She wasn’t stupid. She knew they were thinking about it. She had caught Leanne looking into it the other day, her eyes full of tears but a giant smile on her face as she had called her doctor and asked about making an appointment. 

Ariel had felt like a dagger had been stabbed right through her heart. It’s not that she expected her parents to be monks, not by any means, in fact, she was very well aware of the fact that they were having sex, and a lot of it. But she had never fathomed that their actions would result in a baby, or that they would want it to for that matter. She hadn’t let Leanne know that she had heard her, instead she had retreated to her room and crawled into bed and cried. When Leanne had come up to tell her ‘goodbye’ she had pretended to be asleep, avoiding all contact with her. That had been on Monday, the day before she had run away, and the topic was still fresh on her mind.

“You ready to go kid?” Ethan’s voice was soft and she lifted her head up slowly, willing her tears away, but she wasn’t quick enough, not for him. “Angel, what’s wrong?”

She watched as he rose from his chair quickly, making his way toward her as Leanne rose as well, her movements slightly slower as she allowed Ethan to take control. He stopped in front of her, his hands going out to take a hold of hers, squeezing them gently as he silently willed her to look up at him. When Leanne stopped next to him, her hand going out to brush her hair from her face, she felt another sob tear through her body. They surely weren’t going to love her like this if they had a baby together.

“I…” She couldn’t get the words out, her voice catching in her throat as she felt sob after sob wrack through her body. Ethan pulled her close then, tucking her against his chest with a soft sigh, his hand tangling in her hair as he dropped a kiss against her head.

“What’s wrong baby?” Leanne’s voice was so soft and so gentle and she felt another cry escape her lips as she closed her eyes shut tight, her arms wrapping around Ethan like he was the only thing holding her up.

“Talk to us angel.” He pulled back slowly then, his hands stilling on her upper arms as he offered her a soft smile. “What’s going on?”

She shook her head back and forth then, swallowing hard as she tried to keep her tears at bay. She didn’t want to fall apart like this. She didn’t want their fun moment from this morning to be ruined simply because she couldn’t control her emotions. 

“You guys are gonna have a baby aren’t you?” She barely got the words out of her mouth but when Leanne let out a sigh beside her she could tell that she had hit the nail on the head. “You’re gonna have a baby and you’re gonna forget all about me.”

“Oh honey.” Leanne reached out then, pulling her gently from Ethan’s arms and wrapping her up in a tight hug. “We’re not going to forget about you. Ever. You hear me?” She felt her press her lips against her forehead and she sniffled as she tried to regain control.

“Ariel, honey…” Ethan reached out and brushed his fingers over her cheek, cupping her chin gently in his hand as he locked his eyes with hers.

“I heard you talking to the doctor.” She pulled from Leanne’s embrace then, her eyes going dark as she felt a sudden rage take over her. She knew that she had no right to be angry with them. They were adults, they were in love, they could do what they wanted with their lives. But didn’t she count? Weren’t her thoughts and feelings important too? “I saw you doing research. I saw how excited you got.” She rubbed at her eyes furiously, her hands shaking as she let out a sigh. “You guys are gonna have a baby and then you’re not going to want me anymore.”

“That’s not true Ariel!” Leanne’s voice was harsh, but her eyes were still soft and full of so much emotion. “That’s not how this is going to work. Do you understand?”

“So it’s true then?” She was getting angry now, her blood starting to boil as she bit her lip to keep from lashing out at her so called mother. “You’re having a baby?!”

“No Ariel.” Ethan stepped in then, physically putting himself between them as he spoke calmly, his hands going out to her shoulders as he locked eyes with her. “We’ve talked about it. Okay? But we don’t even know if it’s possible.” He reached forward with his right hand then, his index finger tapping her nose lightly, her body instantly calming at the gesture. She hated that he knew her so damn well. “That’s why your mom was doing research okay? We’re just trying to see what our options are.”

“But you want a baby?” She breathed out, her breaths finally starting to calm as she kept her eyes locked with his. She could make out Leanne pacing in the background, her soft sobs filling the otherwise quiet space.

“We wouldn’t say ‘no’ to having a baby.” He squeezed her shoulders tightly, his forehead falling to hers as he spoke. “It doesn’t mean we love you any less. You hear me?” She nodded her head at his words, a deep breath escaping her lips as he pulled back some, breaking eye contact with her so that he could turn his head toward Leanne. She had stopped pacing and was standing there staring at them, her eyes full of tears as she tried to calm herself down too. “We love you Ariel. And we love each other. And we want to be a family. And sometimes, families get bigger, and that’s okay.”

“Ariel, we don’t want this to take away from you.” Leanne’s voice was soft as she moved toward the girl, her hands shaking slightly as she reached for her. “If this is going to make things worse, if this isn’t okay with you…” She heard Leanne’s voice catch in her throat and she saw more tears fall down her cheeks and she instantly felt horrible. She had never meant to take this away from them. She didn’t realize how important it was to them to start a family together. “We won’t do it. You come first honey. That’s it. That’s final.”

“I…” She choked back a sob as she stepped in the older woman’s arms, hugging her tightly as she heard Ethan let out a breath behind them. “I don’t want to take this from you guys.”

She knew how important Leanne’s kids had been to her, and while she didn’t talk about them very often, she knew that she had loved them dearly. She hated that she had lost them, that they had been taken away from her in the cruelest way possible. And she knew that having kids was important to Ethan, well, at least, having her as his kid was important to him. But she had never stopped to consider that they might want a child of their own. Someone who looked like them and acted like them and shared bits and pieces of their pasts together. Sure, she was ‘their’ child, but she didn’t share their DNA and she didn’t share their blood and she would never be the perfect mixture of them both. But a baby, a baby would, and she knew that that was probably just as important to them as it was to most couples who loved each other.

“I’m sorry.” She whispered, pulling back from her mother’s arms as she turned her attention to them both, her hands wiping at her tears slowly. “I didn’t mean to hurt you guys. I never… I never wanted any of this to happen.”

“We know angel.” Ethan reached for her then, wrapping an arm around her shoulders as he tucked her against his side, his lips dropping a soft kiss to her head. “We’re not angry at you Ariel. We just want you to be okay.”

“We want you to be able to come to us honey.” Leanne’s words were soft as she reached out to take her hands in hers, a soft smile coming over her face. “We want to be able to talk about these things. Not run from them.” She felt Ethan hug her close once more, a soft smile coming over his face as he locked his eyes with Leanne’s. “Your father and I love you. And that’s never going to change.”

“I love you guys too.” She said softly, her arms going out to wrap around them both, hugging them close to her as she let out another quiet sob. She loved them more than anything in this world, more than she had ever thought possible, and she didn’t want to lose them. Not for as long as she lived.

——

After they had calmed themselves down and regrouped Ethan had declared that it was time for lunch, his stomach growling in response as they all stood in the middle of the kitchen. Leanne had let out a laugh, her eyes rolling at his body’s response to hunger. They had made their way outside and climbed into Ethan’s Jeep quietly, riding toward his house, the rain hitting the car the only sound they heard. They had pulled into his driveway just as the rain had started to slow down and she heard Leanne let out a sigh from the front seat at the sight of his dad’s pickup parked next to the house.

“Your dad’s here?” She asked softly, her eyes shifting to catch Ariel’s in the rear view mirror.

“Yeah.” He let out a soft sigh, his body turning in his seat as he gave them both a quick glance. “Someone’s coming to look at the house tonight. He said he’d handle it.” His eyes were soft and Ariel could tell that while he was trying to maintain control, he was slowly failing. “With everything going on he told me to worry about you girls instead.”

Ariel felt a small smile come over her face at his words. While she still wasn’t a hundred percent sold on the older Willis man, she wasn’t exactly hating him either. He had been supportive of them both on the drive from the beach to Leanne’s house yesterday, and when Ethan had gotten out of the truck to talk to the woman, the Colonel had reassured her that everything would be fine and that her parents loved her. She had been skeptical of that in that very moment, but hearing him say those words had helped give her the strength she needed to face them both.

“He won’t mind that we’re here?” Leanne’s question was quiet and Ariel unbuckled her seat belt when she saw the man in question step onto the porch.

“Doubtful.” She offered her mother a soft smile as she nodded toward the man. He had stopped at the top of the steps, a cup of coffee in his hands, a small smile on his face as he offered them a small wave.

“Come on.” Ethan opened his door and hopped out of the vehicle, his hand going out to open the door for her while Leanne climbed out on the other side. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders as they made their way up the walk, his hand reaching for Leanne’s as the stopped at the bottom of the steps. “Hey dad.”

“And a good afternoon to you too.” His voice was humorous, his eyes shifting between the three of them as his smile grew bigger. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”

“Need some tools.” Ethan’s response was quiet, but not dismissive. “Dad,” He released his grip on them both then, making his way up the steps before he stopped next to his father, turning to face them with a small smile on his face, “meet the girls. Girls,” He turned back toward his dad, offering him a goofy grin as he spoke, “meet dad.”

“We’ve met before Ethan.” His dad’s grin matched his and Ariel couldn’t help but let out a laugh, her hand flying over her mouth once more as she second guessed her decision. “But never in the proper context.” He nodded his head toward them both, his hand extending in Leanne’s direction first. “I take it I don’t have to call you Dr. Rorish outside of the hospital?”

“Not unless you have a death wish.” She said softly, her hand shaking his as she offered him a joking smile. “It’s just Leanne.”

“Well, Leanne,” He squeezed her hand gently then before releasing it, “it’s nice to finally meet you.” He dragged out his ‘finally’, his eyes shifting toward Ethan, and Ariel couldn’t help but chuckle as her father rolled his eyes. “And you young lady…” He turned his attention toward her then, his eyes soft as he gave her a once over, “must be my granddaughter?”

Ariel beamed back at him, knowing that he was referring to her as that because Ethan surely referred to her as his daughter more often than not now. “That I am!” She reached her hand out and took his, shaking it firmly. “I’m Ariel.”

“Well Ariel,” He squeezed her hand much like he had squeezed Leanne’s and he offered her a soft smile, his eyes shifting toward Ethan before returning to give her a gentle look, “it’s very nice to finally meet you.” She squeezed his hand back before dropping it, her arms falling to her sides as she smiled back at him. “You know, your father here, he never shuts up about you?”

“I know.” And she did know, because he never stopped beaming when he was in her presence and he never failed to tell her just how amazing he thought she was. “He’s pretty amazing too you know?” She waited for Ethan to react, to snap at her for saying something like that to his father. She knew that their relationship wasn’t the best, but she wanted his dad to know that she at least thought the world of him, and that had to count for something right?

“He is isn’t he?” Jack, Sr. turned his attention toward his son then, a proud smile coming over his face as he reached his hand out toward him. Ethan took it with no hesitation, shaking it gently as he offered his dad a smile. Ariel was thankful that if she had accomplished anything today it was that she had at least brought these two a little closer than they had been before. Lord knows she was thankful to be so close to her father, she just hoped that the Colonel would feel the same way about being close to his son.


	52. Plans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ethan has some plans for Leanne, and they surely don’t involve clothing of any kind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***This is nothing but pure unadulterated smut. You have been warned!**

Ethan had been pleasantly surprised with his father’s behavior when they had showed up at the house earlier that day. And when his dad maintained a smile and shaken his girl’s hands he had almost lost his mind. His father had never seemed excited to meet any of his girlfriend’s before, but there he was, laughing and joking with Leanne. Shaking her hand and telling her how good it was to finally meet her. And he had felt like things might just be starting to fall into place.

And then his dad had referred to Ariel as his granddaughter, a giant smile spreading across his face as the words left his mouth, his hand reaching out to shake the teen’s and Ethan had felt his heart clench in his chest. A few months ago his dad had been hell bent on destroying his relationship with these two. Hell, a few weeks ago he had been hell bent on destroying his entire life. But today he was standing there smiling and acting completely normal and he had been at a loss for words.

After he had found the tools that he needed in the garage he had returned to the kitchen to find the three of them talking like it was the most normal thing in the world. His dad was asking Ariel about school, about what classes she liked and which ones she didn’t. He had been surprised when his dad hadn’t made any harsh comments in response to her saying that she hated P.E. but that she loved journalism class. His father had never thought much of the arts, at least not before now.

Ethan hadn’t hesitated to invite his dad to join them for lunch, claiming they could easily drop him back off after they ate when he tried to say that he needed to be there before 4:00pm. Leanne’s eyes had been soft and full of shock, but she had smiled at the older man nonetheless, Ariel’s soft voice encouraging him to tag along. He had reluctantly agreed and Ethan had been happy to see that he actually seemed genuinely interested in joining them.

They had driven to a little diner by the hospital, a place that they frequented, especially in between shifts and they had enjoyed a surprisingly decent meal together. His father had even behaved himself and hadn’t asked a single invasive question the entire meal. When Leanne had mentioned that to him after dropping the older man off a few hours later he had just shrugged his shoulders.

“Maybe he’s trying to get to know us.” Ariel’s soft voice had carried from the back seat. “Maybe he actually cares.”

Ethan could tell that the girl wanted to believe that. That she wanted her previous thoughts and feelings about the man to no longer be true. He wanted to believe it too. He wanted to believe his father was capable of change, especially after everything that had happened. And while there was a little piece of him that knew that it was possible that the man was playing them, there was an even bigger piece of him that thought it was possible that he had finally realized that he was missing out on his oldest son’s life.

“I hope you’re right Angel.” He had whispered back, his eyes meeting hers in the rear view as he offered her a soft smile. She had returned it before letting her head fall to the side, her eyes closing as she relaxed back against the seat.

When they had returned to Leanne’s he had watched as the teen disappeared into her room, the quiet sounds of her radio filling the upstairs as she tossed books onto the bed and pulled her notes from her book bag. He had stood in the doorway and watched her for a few minutes, her lips curling upward into a smile when she realized that she was being watched. He had simply smiled back at her before moving back down the hallway toward the room he was currently trying to redo and he had let out a sigh as he let his eyes wander around the space.

The room was a decent enough size, and definitely big enough for an office, but part of him was still skeptical about turning something that had once belonged to Leanne’s late husband into a room of his own. While it had been her idea to begin with, he still struggled with the thought of coming in and taking over her life like that. He had already rocked her world enough, he couldn’t imagine that she was handling all of this with ease.

“Need any help?” Her soft voice drifted through the still air behind him and he turned and offered her a soft smile.

“Sure.” He was hopeful that maybe her involvement in the process would possibly make this all easier on her. “If you’re up for it.”

She offered him a smile as she shook her head back and forth, moving forward to take the tool box from his hands. She placed it on the table by the window before turning to wrap her arms around his neck, pulling his head down slowly to place a kiss against his lips.

“More than up for it.” She whispered, her eyes twinkling in the soft light of the room.

“You sure?” His question was whispered as he dropped his forehead to hers softly. “It’s a big step.”

“Getting married is a big step Ethan.” Her words made his heart race in his chest. “Having a baby is a big step.” He swallowed at that one, she was hitting him right in the feels with this one. “But redoing a room, is not.”

“It used to be your husband’s.” He let his hands move to her hips, resting them softly against the material of her sweatshirt. 

“And now it’s yours.” She said simply, her fingers dragging lightly over the hairs at the base of his neck. 

“And that doesn’t bother you?” He didn’t want to fight with her, and he didn’t want to push her over the edge, but she rarely talked with him about her feelings over her late husband’s death. She barely even mentioned him, or her children, and while he understood, because he wasn’t exactly an open book about his mom or Jack for that matter, he wished that she trusted him with her feelings about it all. “I mean, he was your husband Leanne. You were married for fifteen years. You had two kids together. That’s not just something that’s gonna go away.”

“It’s not Ethan.” She let out a sigh as she tried to pull away from him but he refused to let her go, his fingers tightening their grip on her waist as he offered her a soft hush. “But it’s time, right?”

He let out a sigh as he closed his eyes. She was doubting herself and her feelings and he surely knew that that would only mean one of a two things. She was either about to pull away from him completely or she was about to fight with him like there was no tomorrow. And he didn’t want either to happen right now.

“I don’t know Lea,” He dropped a kiss to her his forehead as he pulled back slightly, his eyes connecting with her eyes as he spoke, “is it?”

“I want it to be time.” He barely heard her words but they made his heart twist in his chest all the same. He didn’t know if that meant good things, or bad. “I want to move on Ethan. I…” She took a deep breath, her fingers reaching for his dog-tags as she pulled them from under his shirt. “I want to start over. I want to be able to live in this house with you and Ariel and not constantly be reminded of the past.” She ran her finger over his name, the raised letters staring back at her as she broke her eye contact. “I want to be able to one day marry you and not have John’s presence looming in the background of everything that we do. You’re not him, you’re never going to be him. And while I loved him, I don’t want that back. Not now. Not after I’ve gotten to know what life with you is like.”

He leaned forward, dropping a soft kiss against her lips as he brushed his thumbs over the skin of her stomach. He knew exactly what she meant, her words having hit home more than she probably knew. He had felt that way at one point in his life. When he had been a much younger man. He hadn’t wanted to hate his step-mother so much, and he hadn’t wanted to hate her kids either. But his father had never allowed for them to have a reason not too. If his dad had been as open and supportive of him and Jack moving on, yet grieving at the same time, things probably would have been so much different.

“I want to have a baby with you Ethan.” She whispered softly, her hands twisting the chain back and forth as tears fell from her eyes. “More than one if time and all good things allow.” She lifted her eyes up to meet his once more and he offered her a soft smile at the thought. He had never considered more than one kid, but damn did that idea sound amazing. “And I don’t want to spend their entire lives comparing them to Eli and Caitlin. They’re not them. They never will be. And neither will Ariel.” She smiled at him softly as she dropped his tags back down against his chest, her hands smoothing over the material of his Angels shirt. “I want us to be us. I don’t want to live in the past anymore.”

He pressed another kiss to her lips as he tugged her close, his right hand going to get lost in her hair as he ran his tongue along her lips, asking for entrance. She granted it, her hands moving to tangle in his hair as she let out a soft moan. He backed her up slowly, pressing her back against the door as he closed it behind her. He knew that Ariel was very much awake and very much aware only a few feet down the hall and the last thing they needed was to get caught making out like a bunch of teenagers.

Leanne had just pulled his shirt over his head, her lips hot against hers when they heard movement in the hallway, and he stopped, his head falling to her shoulder as he held his breath. They heard Ariel’s bathroom door shut and then reopen a minute later, but if the teen noticed that they had shut the office door she wasn’t phased by it, because they heard her move back into her room, her door closing softly behind her. He let out a breath as she tugged his head back up to hers, her lips crashing against with his a soft sigh.

“We should stop.” He growled against her lips, his hands steadying themselves on her hips as she dragged her nails down his bare back.

“We should.” She tugged on his bottom lip as she reached down, pulling her own shirt over her head with a sigh. “But where would be the fun in that?”

“What are you suggesting Dr. Rorish?” He dragged his teeth over her pulse point as he moved his hands up her stomach, running them under the material of her bra. “That we should have sex on that hideous couch over there?”

She let out a soft chuckle, her head falling back against the door as he pushed her bra aside, his hand cupping her breast softly as he pressed kisses against the red marks on her neck. He was going to have some explaining to do about that mark, but in that moment, he didn’t really care.

“My ex-mother-in-law can kiss my ass.” She breathed out, her hands grabbing at his belt as she undid it quickly, a moan escaping her lips when he undid the clasp of her bra, letting the garment fall to the ground. “I never liked that woman anyway.”

He let out a howl at her comment, his lips moving back up to hers, kissing her deeply as he lifted her up, her legs wrapping tightly around his waist she grabbed at him hungrily. He wasted no time in carrying her toward the hideous object, moving to back himself up toward the cushions, falling downward with a thud when she pushed him back forcefully. He let out a grunt as his legs gave way, her knees settling on either side of his hips as she moved her lips to his neck. 

“If you say so.” He whispered, his hands tangling in her hair as he moved his hands downward, pushing at the material of her jeans. She pushed back from him then and he let out a whimper, until he realized just what she was doing. 

He watched, completely mesmerized as she pushed her pants to the floor, her hands reaching out to pull him upward. He took them gently, pulling himself up and toward her as he eyed he curiously. She undid his belt the rest of the way then, pulling the button of his jeans lose and pushing the zipper downward, her hand grazing over his erection ever so slightly. He bit his lip to keep from losing control and when he settled his hands on her hips, he let his fingers dip below the material of her underwear just enough to make her squirm.

She pushed his jeans to the floor then, his boxers following immediately after, and he let out a groan when she pushed him back against the couch once more. He missed the contact as soon as they were no longer touching and he reached forward, pulling her to him greedily. He let his fingers tug her panties downward, pushing them to the floor with a sly smile. He leaned forward, pressing his lips against her thigh as he went, and when she let out the softest whimper he felt everything inside him seize him. He loved this woman and everything about her and goddamn if he didn’t want to show her just how much she meant to him.

Tugging her back into his lap he let out a moan when she lined them up perfectly before sinking down around him, her hands gripping his shoulders tightly as she let her knees fall back against his hips. He buried his face against her neck with a whimper, his hands gripping her bare hips tightly as she started to find a rhythm. He surely wasn’t going to last long, and honestly, at this point, he didn’t much care. Pulling his head back up, he leaned forward, crashing his lips against hers as she tangled her hands through his hair, her hips picking up their pace as she ground against him roughly.

He wanted to speak. He needed to say something. But he couldn’t find any words and his throat was dry and his hands were shaking and all he could think about right now was the beautiful woman in his arms who was doing very naughty things with her hips. He pulled his head back, letting his forehead fall to hers with a sigh. He watched as she bit her lip, her hand moving down his neck to settle on his shoulder as she picked up her pace, a soft whine leaving her mouth when he dropped his head to her neck once more, his lips returning to the spot he had been working over earlier. He let his right hand move from her hip then, reaching up to run his thumb along her nipple slowly, and he couldn’t help but chuckle when she muttered a curse under her breath at him.

He could tell that she was getting close, her walls starting to tighten around him, and he dropped his hand between them. She let out a growl when he found her core, brushing his thumb over her as her head fell to his shoulder, her eyes closing tightly as she thrust against him a few more times. When he finally felt her start to come he tugged her head upward gently, his lips crashing against hers as he thrust back at her, hitting just right the spot that made her tumble over the edge, her fingers digging into his scalp as she whimpered against his lips. He felt himself lose control, his hand gripping her hip hard enough to leave a bruise behind as he tried to control himself. He tugged on her bottom lip, kissing her roughly as he let her lips drown out his moans of pleasure.

They sat there for a few minutes after they had both calmed down and he had held her against his chest tightly as she tried to regain normal breath sounds. He felt her hands fall from his neck and shoulder, settling themselves against his elbows as she pulled back, her eyes locking with his as she offered him the sweetest smile. 

“That was…” He let out a sigh at her words, knowing exactly what she was thinking. That had been downright amazing and he was surely going to being having dreams about repeating that for weeks to come.

“Yeah.” He breathed out, his hands moving to rest against her sides gently. Her skin was sweat soaked beneath his hands and he could feel her trembling softly as her body came down from its high.

“What are the chances we could make it the shower before she notices?” Leanne’s question caused him to laugh and he dropped his forehead against hers, his lips pressing a gentle kiss to her nose as he smiled back at her.

“We just might if we make a run for it.” He whispered, whimpering when she pulled himself from his lap, her hands reaching for her panties as he watched her softly.

“You think she knows what we were doing in here?” He rolled his eyes at her comment. God he hoped that his daughter wasn’t aware of how much sex they were having. He would surely have been embarrassed if he had been in her position. Lucky for him, his dad and step-mom had lived in a house that was so big he barely knew they were ever even there. If they had been romping, which obviously they had been given they had two kids together, he never knew about it.

“Probably.” He let out a soft sigh as he stood, pulling his boxers back on as he watched her yank his t-shirt over her head with a smile. “But I’d rather not think about it.”

Leanne chuckled at his response as she moved to open the door, her hand turning the knob softly as she glanced down the hallway. He could see that Ariel’s door was still shut and he let out a breath of relief. If they were quick, they could certainly make it to the bedroom without her even so much as hearing them.

“Let’s go.” She reached behind her and grabbed his hand, dragging him down the hallway quickly. They made it into the bedroom, the door shutting behind them softly, without so much as a peep coming from the teen’s room.

He let out a breath that he didn’t know he had been holding as he leaned back against the door, his eyes settling on Leanne as she yanked his shirt over her head and dropped it into the hamper in the closet. He watched as she turned toward him, a sly look on her face, and he knew that while the round of sex that they had just had was amazing, she surely wasn’t done with him yet. She made her way toward him slowly, her eyes darkening the closer she got, and he swallowed as he moved his hand behind him to turn the lock on the bedroom door. At least in here they had a warning system if the teen got close.

“Leanne…” He breathed out as she stopped in front of him. 

“Yes?” She was trying to act innocent and it wasn’t working. He knew that smile, that glint in her eyes, all too well.

“Can I help you?” He whispered, his hands going out to pull her toward him. She let out a squeal when he dropped his head to her neck, nipping at the skin on the opposite side of his mark from earlier.

“Maybe…” Her voice was soft and he could feel her shaking with anticipation in his arms. And he wasted no time in hoisting her up, carrying her backward toward the bed where he deposited her with a low growl. “Ethan...” She dragged out his name as his head fell to her chest, his lips pressing kisses down her sternum, stopping when he got to her right breast.

“Yes?” He ran his tongue along her nipple as his hands pushed her underwear back down, letting them hit the floor as he nudged her legs apart.

“What…?” She didn’t get to finish her words before a moan escaped her lips as his finger ran along her folds before pushing into her slowly. She bucked beneath him and he let out a chuckle against the space between her breasts, his attention turning to the left one as he let his hand settle on her hip.

“Relax love.” He whispered as he stroked her gently, his thumb brushing her core as he dragged his teeth across her nipple. “I got you.” She let out a whimper as she clawed at him, begging him silently to kiss her, to remove his fingers and do this the right way, but he had other plans in mind. And his plans involved her laying there while his tongue did all the work.

“I can’t.” She gasped out, her fingers tightening in his hair as he added another finger, his mouth moving to press kisses down her stomach, stopping just above her curls as she let out a whimper. “Please Ethan.” She dragged her nails over his neck, a move that normally worked when she wanted him to comply, but he had enough of the same old making love. 

He dropped his head down against her thigh, his teeth dragging along the faint scare on her fair skin, his fingers continuing to stroke her slowly. She let out a sound that made his heart flutter in his chest and he knew that he was killing her with anticipation, that the build up was certainly more than she was used too, and he was perfectly fine with that. Letting his lips linger against the spot on her thigh her gently nudged her legs apart once more, a smile forming on his lips when he heard her let out a growl, her left hand hitting the mattress with a thud.

He moved his lips to her curls then, pressing a gentle kiss against the hair before moving his head down further. He let his lips meet his thumb against her core and when she threw her head back against the comforter with a hum he felt a sense of pride surge through him. He knew he had her right where he wanted her, and he had every intention of making sure this was the best orgasm she had ever had.

He wasted no time in bringing her to the edge, his fingers and tongue working together to work her up and then bring her back down again, and by the time he had her right at the peak, she was shaking beneath him. His name escaped her lips in a strangled breath and he gripped her hip tightly in his left hand as he dragged his teeth along her core, his fingers sliding in and out of her in a fine tuned rhythm. She grabbed at his head again, her fingers tightening around his disheveled hair as he felt her finally tighten around him. He let his tongue pass over her folds once more, his thumb brushing over the area lightly, and that was all it took to send her spiraling out of control. 

He watched as her hand gripped at the sheets tightly, her eyes slamming shut as she bit down on her lip to keep from screaming out. The hand that had been gripping his head tightly had fallen to her side as well, her fingers grabbing blindly at the air as she searched for something to hold onto. He let his hand fall into hers, his fingers gripping hers tightly as he worked her back down, his thumb stroking her gently as she let out a whimper. He pressed a gentle kiss to her thigh, his teeth grazing back along the mark he had left earlier and when she let out a shuttering breath he couldn’t help but smile.

“You good?” He asked softly, his hands going to rest against her hips gently as he pushed himself up off of his knees, her lips going to press kisses against her stomach once more.

“No.” She gasped out, her fingers still curling and uncurling around the blanket under her. “Not at all.”

“Good.” He pressed a kiss to her left breast then, his fingers trailing over her stomach as he spoke. “Then it worked.”

He felt her hand land against his ass softly and he guessed that maybe she was trying to hit him. But her body was far too weak to keep up with whatever anger she had inside her right now. He chuckled against her chest, his face going to nuzzle her neck as her hand moved upward to tangle in his hair.

“Shower?” Her question was barely audible and when he pulled back he noticed that her eyes had glazed over some and that she was shaking still.

“Yes love.” He dropped a soft kiss to her shoulder before he pulled back, moving to stand in front of her, his hands extending outward to help pull her up.

“You go.” She whispered, her eyes closing as her arms fell to her sides with a gentle thud. “I… I need a minute.”

“Okay baby.” He chuckled at her words and he was silently very pleased with himself for leaving her so incredibly sated. 

He made his way into the bathroom slowly, leaving the door open behind him as he dropped his boxers to the floor and moved to turn the water in the shower on. When it was hot enough for his liking he stepped inside slowly, letting the warm water soothe his aches. He certainly wasn’t a spry young man like he had once been and lord knows that he would be feeling his actions in the morning, if not sooner. He let his head fall under the spray, his hands moving up to wash his face as he heard the sound of feet moving through the bathroom.

Leanne stepped into the shower slowly, her eyes still slightly glazed as she pulled the curtain closed behind her, and he turned around to face her, his hands going to her waist with a soft sigh. She glared at him then, and if he had been a lesser man he would have been afraid, but he knew that she was just overwhelmed and very likely not thinking straight.

“I hate you.” She whispered, her hands going to rest against his bare chest as he backed them up some, pulling her body under the spray as well.

“Nice try.” He whispered back, his head falling to her shoulder as he let his tongue run along her pulse point, pushing the water droplets aside as he gripped her hips in his hands softly.

“I do.” She moved her hands upward, running them along his shoulders and then over his neck before settling them in his damp hair. “You’re evil and insane and I hate you.”

“Was it really that bad?” He pulled back then, his forehead falling to hers with a sigh. He could see the slight twinkle in her eyes, the way her lips tugged upward and into a smile at his words.

“No.” She pecked at his lips softly, her fingers dragging against his neckline as she spoke. “It was amazing.” She tugged at his bottom lip with her teeth and he pulled back, but only to crash his lips against hers as he backed her against the wall of the tub. “That’s why I hate you.” She whispered, her hands settling on his shoulders as he kissed her deeply once more.

“Well my love,” He let his hand wander from it’s place on her hip to run along her stomach and then down through her curls, settling between her legs once more. She let out a moan when he ran a finger over her core and he could see the way her eyes were darkening already, “there’s plenty more where that came from.”


	53. Something More

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leanne knew that something else was bugging Ariel, and she was determined to get to the bottom of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *This is really just a continuation of “Answers”. I didn’t want to make the chapter super long and the chapter that I tried to write as the filler, turned into complete smut, so I decided to split them up. This takes place after “Plans” though, like, the following morning(ish). Slight spoilers for season 3, but if you’ve been watching than this isn’t news.

When Leanne had woken the following morning she felt her body aching from head to toe. Every inch of her was sore, but in all the right ways, and she was silently bashing Ethan for the things that he had done to her yesterday afternoon, and then last night, and then again this morning. She couldn’t remember a time when she had ever felt so incredibly worshipped as she had when Ethan had been making love to her, and doing other things to her too. Letting out a soft sigh she rolled from her side to her back, her eyes searching the room for any sign of the man, but she found none.

She let out a huff, her back popping as she moved to sit up, her hand holding the covers in place over her chest as she let her eyes wander through the room. His boots were gone from by the door, and his Angels jacket wasn’t tossed on the chair by the window like normal. She figured that he must have gotten a call and headed into work for a while. She wondered why he hadn’t bothered to wake her and say ‘goodbye’. Just as she got ready to reach for her phone to text him she heard the bedroom door open slowly, his tall frame pausing in the doorway as his eyes locked with hers.

“Hey.” He said softly, moving inside and making his way toward the bed.

“Hey yourself.” She smiled when he leaned down to place a kiss against her lips, his hand soft against her cheek. She noticed that he was already dressed for work, his hair still damp from a shower. “You going to work?”

“Campbell asked if I could give him a few hours.” He said softly, his fingers pushing her unruly curls behind her ear with a soft sigh. “I told him I just had to be done by one so that I can go to the doctor with you.”

“You don’t have too Ethan.” She had almost forgotten about her appointment, especially with everything that had gone on the past few days. “They’re just gonna draw some blood, maybe do an ultrasound to make sure things are where they’re supposed to be. Nothing important.”

“I still wanna go.” He whispered, his forehead falling against hers. She heard Ariel’s bedroom door open down the hall and she tugged the sheet closer to her chest as she heard her feet carry her toward the door.

“Morning kid.” Ethan’s voice was soft as he pulled back, his eyes shifting to the teen as she let out a yawn.

“Morning.” Her eyes were still heavy and her hair was a mess, her pajamas still rumpled from last night’s sleep. “I have to go to school today don’t I?”

Leanne knew that the past two days had been hard on her and they had allowed her to stay home yesterday and rest, but she had already missed two tests and with the end of the year being so close she was afraid the girl would fall behind. She got ready to reply when the girl let out a sigh, her eyes filling with tears as she wrapped her arms around herself. Neither one of them had said a word about school, but suddenly the girl looked overwhelmed at the thought of it, and her heart was breaking for her.

“I’ve gotta work angel.” Ethan’s voice was soft as he motioned for her to come forward, his hands going out to take a hold of hers. “Why don’t I drop you off so you can at least take those tests? Then your mom can come and get you before lunch?”

She watched as Ariel’s eyes shifted her way and she offered her a soft smile, her head nodding gently at Ethan’s proposal. If her daughter, who wasn’t scared of anything, was this upset over simply mentioning school, than surely something was up.

“Is that okay?” She asked softly, her hands tightening their grip around Ethan’s as she spoke.

“Yeah honey that’s fine.” Leanne offered her the best smile she could manage and she felt slightly relieved when Ariel’s tears stopped falling some. “I’ll pick you up and we can get something to eat before my doctor’s appointment. Sound good?”

She was nervous about bringing up the doctor to the girl, after all, the subject of her and Ethan having a baby together hadn’t exactly gone as planned the last time it got brought up. But she figured that if they offered to include her in any way possible, they might just stand a chance of not losing her completely on the idea. Ariel simply nodded her head with a soft sniffle, her hands dropping Ethan’s as she turned and headed toward the bathroom. Leanne let out a sigh when she heard the shower cut on, Ethan’s attention turning back to her.

“You think she’ll be okay at the doctor’s?” He almost made it sound like they were taking their toddler with them, not their teenager, but Leanne completely understood where he was coming from.

“I think if we include her, maybe it’ll help some.” She shrugged her shoulders with her words. She honestly had no idea how to handle this. Eli had only been 2.5 when she had been pregnant with Caitlin, and he hadn’t even really known what was going on until she was almost six months old. She didn’t know how to handle an older child, one who very clearly understood what was going to happen over the course of nine months.

“I’m sure it will.” He offered her a supportive smile, his hand going out to squeeze her shoulder softly. “Why don’t you go back to sleep babe? I’ll see you at one.”

She nodded her head at his words, thankful for the chance to sleep uninterrupted for once. Between him not being able to keep his hands to himself and Ariel’s nightmares she hadn’t had much peace and quiet the last few weeks. 

“Be safe.” She whispered as she snuggled back against the pillows.

“Always.” He leaned down and kissed her softly, his lips lingering a little longer than necessary as he smiled down at her. “I love you.”

“I love you more.” She pressed her lips against his one last time before falling back against the bed, pulling the blankets over her body as she offered him a smile as he retreated out the door. She could most certainly get used to mornings like this.

——

She had fallen asleep minutes after Ethan had closed the door shut behind him and when she awoke a few hours later the house was silent. She had taken a nice long shower, her aching body appreciating what felt like an endless supply of hot water, and she had stepped out only when the water had started to run slightly cold. She had dried off and stepped into the bedroom to get dressed just as her phone buzzed on the nightstand. Picking it up, she smiled when she saw Ethan’s name on her screen, her heart racing a little at the simple thought of him.

_You up yet?_ She rolled her eyes at his question but then she noticed that it was almost 11:00am. She was supposed to pick Ariel up by 11:30am and it would take her almost fifteen minutes to get to the school. She let out a growl as she raced to pull her underwear and bra on.

_Just got out of the shower. Didn’t realize it was so late._ She let out a huff as she dug her jeans out of the dresser drawer, pulling them on quickly as her phone buzzed again from it’s place on the bed.

_You were tired. You’re welcome._ She rolled her eyes once more at his cockiness. Although, she would give it to him, after last night, he had every right to be proud of himself.

_How’s work?_ She wanted to reply back with something sarcastic and inappropriate but her brain wasn’t functioning that well and she was currently trying to find a shirt and that was taking more effort than it should have.

_Eh. Work. Mario broke his wrist. He’s been whining like a baby for a good hour._ She stopped as she read his words, a small smile coming to her face. She wasn’t happy to know that her friend was hurt, however, the image of him following Ethan around with a pouty face was surely enough to make anyone smile.

_Poor thing. Is he going to make it?_ She pulled her shirt over her head as her eyes darted around the room in search of shoes of some kind. She spotted her tennis shoes by the door and turned to grab socks from the top drawer just as he responded.

_Not if you ask him. I gave him a cast and told him to go home and sleep it off._ She let out a chuckle, for such a tough guy, Mario was also the world’s biggest baby. She wondered if Noa had had to deal with him yet. She would surely kick his ass into gear.

_Did he?_ She pulled her socks on as she stumbled toward her shoes, almost losing her balance as she tripped over one of Ethan’s flip flops.

_Ha! He’s been following me around all morning. I’m making him do charts since he isn’t good for much else._ She plopped down in the chair by the window as she pulled her shoes on, a smile coming over her face at the image.

_Well I’m sure he’s doing a great job._ In reality, she was thankful that it was Ethan that had to deal with the kid and not her. She hated Mario’s whiny side, he was almost worse than Ariel.

_Riiight. Hey I gotta go. I’ll see you in a bit :)_ She couldn’t help but smile at the thought of seeing him again. Even though it had only been a few hours she was already missing him. 

_I love you. We’ll see you soon!_ She hit send on the last message as she pushed her phone into her back pocket, rising from the bed and making her way downstairs.

After making sure she had everything she needed she headed toward the front door, grabbing her keys and making her way to the car. The drive to Ariel’s school had been easy, the roads almost empty in the middle of the day on a Thursday, and when she pulled into the parking lot it was only 11:20am. Turning the car off she made her way inside to sign the girl out and she let out a soft sigh when she noticed that Ethan had texted her back.

_I love you more. Both of you. I can’t wait to see you again._ It was nice to know that he was struggling after only a few hours of separation too.

She had signed Ariel out and waited as the secretary called her English class to let them know that her ride was here. She let out a sigh, she couldn’t wait for this stupid court hearing to be over so that she could officially have herself listed as Ariel’s mother. The teen had met her outside the office doors and when Leanne noticed the solemn look on her face she had wrapped an around her shoulders, escorting her outside to the car.

They rode in silence toward the little deli that Ariel had requested lunch from and when they pulled into the parking lot she had turned to eye the girl softly. She caught sight of the tear marks on her cheeks and she instantly panicked. She couldn’t even begin to imagine what had gone wrong now.

“Ariel? Baby what’s wrong?” She reached over to the girl, taking her hand gently in hers as she waited for her to turn toward her. “Did something happen at school today?” The teen simply shook her head back and forth, but she was still crying and Leanne’s heart was still breaking. “Do you wanna talk about it?”

“No.” She whispered softly, her eyes shifting toward her as she spoke. “Can we just eat, please?”

“Okay sweetie.” She squeezed her hand softly before moving to turn the car off, stepping out into the late morning sun just as the girl did the same. They made their way inside quietly and Leanne ordered for them both as Ariel went to find a seat. She found her sitting at a booth toward the back, her eyes focused on her hands as she sniffled. 

“Is everything okay honey?” She knew that she was pestering the girl with questions, but she was honestly terrified that something had gone wrong. She just wanted Ariel to be open with her, especially after the stunt she had pulled on Tuesday.

“There’s just…” The teen looked up at her, her eyes still full of tears, her hands shaking as she tried to calm herself. “There’s these kids at school. They’re not very nice. They just… they said some things that got to me. That’s all.”

“What kind of things?” She knew this was expected, teenagers could be heartless sometimes, even the ones that you thought were your friends. She had prayed that Ariel wouldn’t have to deal with that, but she guessed that every generation did.

“They made fun of me because of the dance.” Leanne couldn’t help but let out a huff. Kids really did think of stupid things to pick on each other for these days didn’t they? At least when she was a teen most of the insults were legit. She always got picked on because she was constantly the new girl. In high school her best-friend got made fun of because she was one of only five black kids in the entire school. Today, those reasons were pretty stupid, back then, they certainly had their merits. “I said I was going, that I had a date, and then I backed out.” She shrugged her shoulders at the statement, like it was the most nonchalant thing in the world. Which Leanne actually thought it was, but to Ariel it was apparently serious enough that she was getting picked on for it.

“Well that’s a stupid reason for them to pick on you love. You know that right?” She asked her question just as a server dropped their food off and they both mumbled a ‘thank you’ as the young girl walked off. “You had your reasons honey. Very valid reasons.”

“Yeah, well, I didn’t exactly feel like explaining to them that my boyfriend died.” Her words were harsh as she dropped her hands into her lap with a sigh. 

“I didn’t expect you to.” And she honestly hadn’t. She wouldn’t have wanted to try and explain that to a group of fourteen and fifteen year olds, no matter how intelligent or sophisticated they might think they were.

“They just…” She let out a soft hiccup, her eyes filling with another round of tears and Leanne reached across the table for her hands, thankful when the the girl reached back. “They made a comment Monday, about how you and Ethan aren’t my real parents.” A sob left her lips and all Leanne could do was squeezed her hands as she fought back her own tears. “How you guys would leave me too.”

“Oh honey.” She moved from her spot on her side of the table to sit next to the girl, wrapping an arm around her shoulders as she hugged her close. “That’s not true. You know that. We’re never gonna leave you baby. Never.”

“I know.” She let out a strangled sound as she wiped at her eyes furiously. “It just… everything was all too much.”

“Is that why you ran away sweetie?” She hated to ask the question, because she hated bringing it up, she really just wanted to forget everything that had happened that day.

“I guess.” She shrugged her shoulders as she pulled back slightly, turning to face her. “I went to Angels that afternoon, to talk to you, but you were busy with patients and I didn’t want to interrupt.” Monday had been a cluster-fuck if there ever was one, and that was even before Rox had been hit by that drunk driver and their whole world had gone to shit. “And then I went to talk to dad, but…” She took a deep breath, her eyes closing as she turned away from Leanne, her hands trembling as she wrung them together in her lap. “He was with Rox. And I just. I lost it. I got so pissed and scared and I just, I left. I went and I wandered around the park for a bit and I was gonna leave then. I was gonna hop on a bus and just leave town but then he texted me and he told me that he loved me and I just…” She was shaking at this point and Leanne felt her own tears start to fall as she pulled the girl back to her. “I went home and I went to bed but when I woke up the next morning I just couldn’t fathom going to school and I couldn’t wrap my head around anything so I just left.”

“Oh baby.” She dropped a kiss to the girl’s head as she tugged her close. “It’s okay honey. It’s all okay now.”

“It was stupid. I know it was stupid.” She let out a huff as her head fell back against the booth, her hands returning to scrub at her eyes once more. “I shouldn’t let what those kids said get to me. I shouldn’t have been so angry about you and dad wanting to have a baby. And I shouldn’t have been angry at him for talking to her because he can be friends with whoever he wants. That’s what you said right? And I just… I feel so stupid.”

“Oh honey, you’re not stupid, not by any means.” She whispered, the girl’s words having sent her own mind, and heart, into a panic. She knew that it was all a lot for the girl to take in, and after having just lost Max, she couldn’t even begin to imagine how much she must have been hurting.

“Can we just forget it ever happened?” Her question was soft and when Leanne looked down she caught sight of the girl’s pleading eyes. “Please? I just wanna move on.”

“Of course we can, love.” She offered her her best smile, squeezing her shoulders once more before she dropped her arm from around her. “Let’s eat okay?”

Ariel simply nodded her head and she let out a soft chuckle when the girl dragged her plate forward, reaching out to grab a fry. They sat and ate in a comfortable silence and when they were done they walked back out to the car, Leanne’s arm wrapped around Ariel’s shoulders loosely. The teen climbed inside first, her head falling back against the headrest as she turned her attention out the window, not bothering to turn toward her as she climbed into the driver’s seat.

“Do you want me to take you home first?” She asked softly. She silently prayed that the girl would join them for the appointment, but she didn’t want to force her into going if she wasn’t up for it.

“No it’s fine.” She whispered, her eyes closing as she let her hands fall to her lap.

“Ariel…” She reached out then, patting her arm gently in an attempt to get her to turn her attention toward her. It didn’t work though and she let out a sigh. “Look at me Ariel.”

“What?” Her question was heated and Leanne could feel the tension radiating off of her as she turned to face her, her eyes dark as they filled with another round of tears.

“Do you want me to take you home first?” She repeated her question once more, her eyes boring into the teen’s as she held onto her arm. 

“No.” She whispered again, her eyes softening as she leaned back against the seat once more. “I want to see dad.”

“He’ll be home tonight sweetie.” She turned the car on as she spoke and she saw the girl shake her head softly.

“He said he might go see Rox.” Her words were quiet and Leanne could tell that she was hesitant to say anything, not wanting to cause any tension between them.

“Well I’m sure he would come home and see you first if that’s what you needed.” She was honestly surprised that he hadn’t been on the first flight to San Diego after Ariel had been returned home to them Tuesday afternoon. It’s not that she thought there was any hidden motive behind him wanting to see Rox, she knew that he was beyond worried about her. In fact, they all were, and as far as she knew, they hadn’t had any contact with her aunt since Ethan had texted her Tuesday night to let her know that all was well.

“You’re not mad?” Ariel’s question was quiet and it shook her from her thoughts.

“Why would I be mad?” She already knew the answer to that question. Six months ago she would have flown off the handle at the mention of Ethan being anywhere near Rox. But things were different now, much different, and she wasn’t worried about Ethan running back to her.

“It’s Rox…” The teen raised an eyebrow at her, turning her attention to her fully. “You hate Rox.”

Leanne let out a soft chuckle as she leaned her head back against the headrest, her hand patting the girl’s arm as she spoke. “I don’t hate Rox honey.” She turned her attention to the girl, her eyes locking with hers as she tried to get her to understand. “I hated who Rox was with your father. Who your father was with her.” Ariel nodded her head softly and she wondered if she actually knew what she was saying, or if she was just trying to be supportive. “I never hated her. She’s a good person Ariel. We used to be friends before all of this. I just want her to be okay.”

“And that’s all dad wants right?” She could hear the skepticism in the teen’s voice, the way her tone shifted as she talked. She knew that she was always going to have that fear in the back of her head that they were going to leave her, no matter how hard they worked to convince her otherwise. And she knew that she would probably always have a fear of Ethan running off with Rox again. But she didn’t want her to feel those things, because Leanne knew that they weren’t true.

“Yes baby.” She patted her arm once more before putting the car in gear and pulling out of her parking space. “That’s all your dad wants too.”

They drove in silence for a few minutes, both of them lost in their own thoughts, and she could practically hear the gears turning in Ariel’s head. She didn’t know what the girl was up to, but she hoped that she was using her powers for good instead of evil. When they pulled into the parking lot of the doctor’s office Leanne let out a sigh when she didn’t see Ethan’s Jeep anywhere in sight. She glanced at the clock and noticed that he still had fifteen minutes and considering he was coming from Angels, and they were down two doctors today, he would probably be cutting it close.

“Can we all go?” Ariel’s question startled her and she shook her head back and forth as she tried to focus her attention on the girl.

“Go where?” She turned the car off, her head turning toward the girl next to her as she waited for her to answer her question.

“To San Diego.” The words that left her mouth were shocking. She never in a million years imagined that the girl would have any desire to go to the place where her father’s ex-girlfriend was being kept while she recovered from brain surgery. “Could we all go, together?”

“Why would you wanna do that honey?” It’s not that she thought it was a bad idea, because, if she was being honest, she wanted to check on Rox herself and make sure that she was doing okay. She also knew that Ethan would appreciate the support. But she couldn’t fathom why the girl would want to go with them.

“I’ve never been.” She stated simply, her eyes shifting toward her as she shrugged her shoulders. “Besides, I feel like dad does so much for us and we never do anything for him.” The girl must have been reading her mind because she had been thinking the same thing. “I don’t know, it was just a thought.” She turned her eyes back toward the window with a sigh and Leanne couldn’t help the small smile that came over her face.

“Why don’t we talk to your father about it after the appointment?” She couldn’t believe she was agreeing to this, but if this was what her daughter wanted, and if this was what Ethan needed, then she’d be damned if she was going to take the opportunity from them.

“Seriously?” The girl’s face lit up as she turned her head toward her with a giant smile.

“We’ll talk to Ethan tonight okay?” She offered her a soft smile as she reached out to brush some of her hair behind her ear. “Maybe we can go down for the weekend?”

“I’d like that.” She whispered softly.

“I’d like that too.” She replied, her eyes watering at her words. She watched as Ethan’s Jeep pulled in a few spaces down from them and she shifted her attention back to the girl. “Don’t say anything just yet okay?”

Ariel simply nodded her head before throwing her door open and bounding across the parking lot. Leanne watched as she threw her arms around Ethan’s neck tightly, the man wrapping her up in a big hug as he lifted her feet off the ground. She exited the vehicle just as they approached, their arms wrapped around each other, both of them smiling softly as they stopped in front of her. 

“You ready?” Ethan’s voice was soft, his eyes glowing as he offered her a smirk.

“As ready as I’ll ever be.” She whispered. She watched as he tightened his grip on Ariel’s shoulders, his other hand reaching out to take one of her hands in his.

“Let’s do this then.” Ariel’s words were quiet but the smile on her face told her everything that she needed to know. The teen was telling them that it was okay, that this was the right step, that she wasn’t going to hold them back from this. And she silently thanked whatever higher being was out there for giving her these amazing people. For blessing her so wholly after leaving her so broken. She could never have guessed that she would get a second chance at life. That she would get to have something more than she had had before. But it was happening, and she was beyond thankful for it.


	54. Behind Bars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The last thing that Ethan ever wanted his daughter to see was him behind bars.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *I’m sorry it took so long for this chapter! I’ve kinda hit a funk with this story and I’m still trying to get out of my rut. I hope you guys enjoy!

Ethan couldn’t remember the last time he had ever been so incredibly tired. His whole body ached, even in places that he didn’t know existed. He didn’t know that things could ever get this bad. They had been going so well, they had finally been getting better. And then he had arrived in San Diego and everything went to shit. He felt like a failure. 

He felt like a terrible friend, having left Rox in the care of the idiots at this hospital, idiots who clearly didn’t care about her well-being. When he had arrived they still had her on a ventilator, despite the fact that her swelling had gone down. She had developed pneumonia, so bad so that he had to put a chest tube in himself in order to keep her other lung from collapsing. She was incredibly sick, incredibly pale, and Ethan just wanted to make her better. He needed her to wake up for him. He needed to know that she was going to be okay.

He felt like the worst boyfriend ever, having abandoned Leanne to be with Rox, just when she was needing him the most. She had struggled so much with Ariel having run away, and even though they had all talked and things had started to look up over the weekend, he knew that she was still lost in her own head a little. They had gone to the doctor on Thursday and she had sat through test after test, getting her blood drawn multiple times, her doctor asking a hundred invasive questions about her health and their sex life. When they had left the doctor they had been filled with a new found hope. There was no reason whatsoever why they shouldn’t be able to conceive. Ethan had been over the moon, Leanne had seemed slightly less excited, but he had gotten the call to leave for San Diego before anything could be said about it. He could tell that something was breaking her heart. And he hated to think that it might be because of him.

He also felt like the worst father possible. His daughter had run away from home. She had left and run off and hidden away from her parents simply because it had all been too much. It was his job to protect her, to keep her safe and to let her know that she was loved, and he had failed her. He had never been so thankful to see her on that beach that afternoon. And he had never been so glad to have the girl in his arms. He loved her so much that it hurt and he hated that he had been part of the reason she felt she needed to leave. And now? Well now he had gone and left her too. He knew that she needed him, almost as much as he needed her, but he hadn’t hesitated to get on that damn chopper and fly away from her. He hated himself for what he had done to his family.

Letting out a sigh he pushed himself into a sitting position, his eyes focusing on the wall outside of his cell. He couldn’t believe that they had thrown him in a damn psych hold. He wasn’t crazy. Tired? Yes. But crazy? Far from it. Sure he hadn’t slept in several days. Sure he was seeing his dead brother walking around the hospital. And sure he had even had a conversation with the kid. But he wasn’t crazy!

“Ethan?” He heard a voice that he vaguely recognized and when he turned his attention toward the door he shook his head at the sight in front of him. His father stood there, his eyes dark but the expression on his face soft. “Son, are you okay?”

“I’m fine dad.” He rose from his spot on the bench and moved toward the front of the cell. He grabbed hold of the bars, pressing his face against them as he eyed the older man. He couldn’t believe that they had called his father. He was a grown man, not some teenager. He didn’t need his dad to bail him out of anything.

“Don’t look fine to me.” His voice was soft, unlike what Ethan expected, and he let out a sigh as he moved toward the cell. He stopped a few feet from where Ethan stood, his eyes scanning over his body as he crossed his arms over his chest. “General Cohn called me. Said you were losing your damn mind.”

“I’m not…” He let out a sigh. He should have known his father would get wind of this eventually. “I’m not losing my mind dad. I’m tired. I just…”

“You need to get yourself together son.” Again, his father’s voice wasn’t angry and he was silently thankful for whatever leaf he seemed to have turned. 

“I need Rox to be okay.” He whispered. He wanted nothing more than for her to wake up and speak to him and be fine. She was his friend and he needed her to survive. He’d never forgive himself if he was the reason she lost her life.

“She’s going to be just fine Ethan.” His dad dropped his arms from his chest and reached out, patting his hands gently. “But you need to worry about you.”

“I don’t have time to worry about me.” And it was true. He didn’t have the time. He had a girlfriend to worry about. A girlfriend who he felt like he was very slowly losing, yet again. And he had a teenager to worry about. A teenager who’s heart was broken. He couldn’t worry about himself right now. No, right now, his girl’s came first. “Leanne and Ariel need me. Rox needs me.”

“What they need son,” His father’s hands squeezed his and he pushed himself back from the bars. He didn’t need his father’s sympathy right now. What he needed was for him to get him the hell out of here, “is for you to get better.”

“I’m fine!” He shouted. He felt his hands starting to shake. His blood boiling in his veins as he hurled the tiny pillow they had given him across the cell.

“Ethan James!” His father’s voice was firm and loud and enough to stop him in his tracks. But when he turned his attention back to the older man he still didn’t see any anger, rather, he looked almost, lost. “Stop. Stop doing this. Stop tearing yourself apart. You’re not doing yourself any favors and you’re certainly not helping those girls out any. You need to calm down.”

“I need to get out of here!” He wanted to punch something, but there was nothing solid enough in sight that would give him the satisfaction that he needed. He felt like his entire world was spiraling out of control and he didn’t know how to fix it.

“I’m working on it son.” His father whispered, his eyes casting downward as he let out a sigh. “But this kind of behavior isn’t doing you any favors.” And with that, he was gone. 

He watched as his father strolled back out the door, leaving him alone once again, and he let out a shaky breath as he dropped to the bed. He felt his head fall forward, his hands catching it as a round of tears formed behind his eyes. He just wanted this all to be some horrible nightmare. He just wanted to wake up and find out that none of this had happened. That Rox was fine and that Leanne still loved him and that his daughter was safe. He just wanted this nightmare to end.

——

When Ethan awoke a few hours later he could instantly tell that he wasn’t alone. Letting out a huff he ran his hands over his eyes as he tried his best to focus them on the ceiling. He didn’t care what his father wanted this time. Or whatever stupid remark General Cohn was here to make. He just wanted to go back to sleep until his 72 hours were up. He just wanted this whole mess to go away.

“Daddy?” His eyes snapped open at the word. It couldn’t be. He prayed and prayed that it wasn’t Ariel. That he was imagining things. The last thing he wanted was for his daughter to see him behind bars. “Dad. It’s me.”

“Ariel?” He shot up from his spot on the bed, his eyes searching the small room for the source of the soft voice. Sure enough, there she was, standing with her hands on the outside of the bars. She looked so little then. So lost and confused. Her eyes were bloodshot and her cheeks were tear stained and he wanted nothing more than to pull her into his arms and never let her go. “What are you doing here Angel?”

“Grandpa called.” He would never get used to hearing her refer to his dad as Grandpa. And while it had only been a few days, it was still something that sent shivers through his spine. His father had never given a shit about being ‘Grandpa’ before, and yet, there was something about Ariel that had drawn him in. Probably the same thing that had made him proud to be ‘dad’. “He said we should come quick.”

“Where’s your mom?” He had a hard time believing that Leanne had jumped on a flight to San Diego that quick. Especially after the way she had been acting toward him before he left.

“With Rox.” Her words were soft and her eyes were glistening with tears and he felt his heart break in his chest. His little girl looked so, little. It was killing him.

“What are you doing here sweetie?” He moved toward the bars then. He had never in a million years imagined that he would have to stare at his daughter through metal bars. It was never something a child should have to see.

“I needed to make sure you were okay.” He could tell that she was barely hanging on. This had all been so much and he couldn’t imagine that she was handling it very well.

“I’m fine baby.” He reached through the bars, his hand cupping her cheek gently as he offered her the softest smile he could manage.

“No you’re not.” She sounded scared. Terrified even. And Ethan felt something inside him shatter.

“I am baby. I promise.” He brushed the tears off of her cheek with his thumb and he wanted nothing more than to pull her into his arms. “I just…”

“You cracked.” She whispered, her eyes shifting upward to lock with his. “You’ve been so strong through all of this. You finally lost it.”

“I didn’t lose it Ariel.” He hadn’t meant for his tone to be so firm. He didn’t want to scare her away.

“Yes you did.” She pulled away from him then, taking a few steps back from the cell, her arms wrapping around herself as she let out a soft sob. “You’ve been so strong for mom and I. You haven’t opened up to us. You just push us away. It’s not fair. You expect so much from us…”

“Ariel…” He reached for her, praying that she would come back to him. He didn’t want to lose his daughter like this.

“No!” She shouted, her foot stomping on the pavement as she glared at him through her tears. “It’s my turn to talk! You’ve done all the talking the past few weeks! You’ve told me how important it is to trust you guys, how I need to be open with you, how we’re a family. You can’t even follow your own advice! You’re a coward!”

“Ariel please.” He felt his heart starting to race in his chest. He wasn’t angry at her. No, rather, he was angry at himself for putting her in this position in the first place. “You don’t understand. It’s my job to protect you, and your mother. That’s what I’m supposed to do. This isn’t about me anymore.”

“Bullshit!” Her hands were shaking when she threw them out in front of her. Her tears flowing freely down her cheeks as she shouted at him. “That’s fucking bullshit and you know it!”

He knew that he should scold her for cursing, Leanne surely would have. But he didn’t want her to stop. He wanted her to let it all out. Because if she was being honest with him than maybe he could finally be honest with her.

“Angel, that’s not how this works.” He reached out once more, grabbing a hold of her hand gently. He tugged her forward, sighing when she stopped just outside the cell. He reached his hands up, gripping her cheeks softly as he swallowed. “Baby, once you have children, it’s not about you anymore. It’s about them. It’s always about them. It’s about what’s best for you. And your mother. You girls are my only priority. Do you understand me? That’s it. I don’t get to worry about myself anymore. I’m not what’s important. You and your mom, that’s all that matters to me.”

“But if you’re not okay…” She sobbed, her eyes closing as she dropped her head forward. “If you’re not okay than we’re not okay.”

“I know hun.” He whispered, his thumbs stroking over her cheeks gently. He hated this damn cell and these damn metal bars. He just wanted his baby girl in his arms.

“Please dad.” She looked back up at him then, her eyes pleading as she let out a strangled sob. “Please.”

“What do you want from me kid?” He didn’t know how to make this situation better. For once in his life, he felt like he had finally hit a point where he didn’t have an answer. He hated himself for it. He hated himself as a friend, as a boyfriend, but more than anything he hated himself as a father. He had let his little girl down and he couldn’t bare the thought of that. His father had done nothing but let him down from day one. He had always swore that he would be the opposite of that. That if he ever had children, which he doubted he ever would, that he would never let them down. That they would never have to know life without a supportive, loving father in it. He couldn’t believe he had done this to her. “What do you need me to do baby?”

“Let me in.” She whispered. He watched as her hands reached out, gripping his face much like he was gripping hers. He could feel her hands shaking as she cupped his cheeks softly. “Don’t shut me out.” She was full on sobbing now, her whole body shaking as she tried to bring herself as close to him as she could. “I’m your daughter. It’s my job to love and protect you too.”

“Oh Angel.” He let out a soft sob as he tried to draw her closer. How General Cohn thought keeping him separated from his family was going to result in anything good he didn’t understand.

“Please dad.” She pulled back a little, her hands dropping from his cheeks as she rubbed at her eyes. “Please let me in.”

“I’m trying baby.” He whispered. And he was. He had never really had people who cared about him before. Sure he had had Jack, but that had been it. And he was his brother, it wasn’t like they shared long talks about life or hugged it out very often. But he had at least been there to lend an ear, or at the very least, to get drunk with. He had never had people who actually loved him, who actually needed him and wanted him. He didn’t know what to do with that kind of acceptance.

“How much longer are you in there for?” Her question shocked him. He hadn’t even thought about how much detail she may have received about his being locked up.

“I’m not sure hun.” And he wasn’t sure. He honestly didn’t even know what day it was at this point.

“I’m gonna go find Grandpa and see if we can get you out.” Her voice was strong, yet quiet, and he found himself bursting with pride at the strength this girl was displaying to him. He had never imagined that his daughter would be stronger than him. Although, he honestly wasn’t surprised at this point.

“Okay.” He whispered, his hands falling down to squeeze her shoulders as he eyed her softly.

She pulled away from him then, moving toward the door to the left. She shifted her eyes back toward him as the door opened and she offered him a small smile as she stepped out. He let out a sigh as he watched her walk away from him. He wanted nothing more than to walk through those doors with her.


	55. Forgive and Forget

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leanne didn’t know why she felt the need to confide in the woman. Until she remembered just how good of a friend she had once been.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *So I kind of have a love/hate relationship with these two and their friendship. I’m going with Leanne being forgiving and Rox being supportive and these two making up. Because every woman needs a girlfriend they can lean on from time to time.

Leanne had been frustrated when she had watched Ethan board the chopper a week ago with Rox’s barely alive body. And when he had returned to her later that day, bringing with him their terrified daughter, she had felt all the frustration vanish. But then he had gotten on another chopper two days ago, leaving them once again for Rox and for San Diego, and she had felt her heart break a little in her chest. Things had been going so well, and then, all of a sudden they weren’t.

They had taken care of Ariel the best they knew how to after Ethan and his dad had brought her home. And they had both spent countless hours holding the girl and letting her cry it out. They had talked and yelled and made up and fought again and everything in between. But things had finally started to settle some Thursday morning. And then after her talk with Ariel, and after seeing her be so excited about the doctor’s appointment that Ethan had joined them for, she had finally felt like things were starting to right themselves.

But then after her doctor’s appointment she had felt like things had started to fall apart again. They had told her good news. That there was no reason why she shouldn’t be able to get pregnant, that she and Ethan were doing everything right and that it might just take some time. Ethan had been elated and he hadn’t stopped crying and smiling since they left the doctor’s office. She, on the other hand, had a gut wrenching feeling and was struggling to make things make sense. Something didn’t feel right. And she didn’t know if it was just her nerves getting the best of her or if she was really in for a turn for the worst.

She had pushed Ethan away that night when he had tried to make love to her. She had pulled herself from the bed and gone to sleep on the couch and she laid awake crying for what felt like hours. He didn’t deserve this, none of this, he had been nothing but supportive and he had done nothing but love her and yet here she was pushing him away. She could feel the tension between them the next morning and she had kissed Ariel ‘goodbye’ as she left for work without a word to either one of them.

They had spent the weekend at odds with each other and when Ethan and Ariel had vanished on Saturday to spend the day with his dad she had been thankful for the silence. But then they had come home early because Ethan got a call that he was needed in San Diego and they had driven Ethan to Angels so that he could catch a medivac and she hadn’t said a word to him since then.

But then she got a call in the middle of the night last night from Jack, Sr., claiming that something was wrong with Ethan and that they should come as quick as they could. He had arranged for a car to pick them up and drive them to the Army Hospital a few hours away and Ariel had slept with her head on her shoulder, her cheeks covered in tears, her arms wrap around her tightly. When they had arrived Jack, Sr. had met them outside and escorted them in without a word, leading them down long hallways and down stairs. He had stopped when they got to the basement and he had laid it all out on the line for them.

Ethan had had some sort of mental breakdown. He had lost it. He had taken Rox off the vent without her doctor’s permission. He had put a chest tube in without a surgical team. He had yelled at a commanding officer. And then, to top it all off, he was seeing things. Talking to people who weren’t really there. She had known that Ethan was on the brink of losing it, that eventually all the pressure was going to catch up to him and he was going to break down. But she had never expected any of this to happen. His father had reassured them that he was looking into it and that he was going to make sure that Ethan was taken care of. She hadn’t known what to say, but the look of horror on her daughter’s face had broken her heart. She should never have to hear the words that her father was behind bars. Ever.

After she had finally calmed Ariel down they had been taken to see Rox and she had tucked the young girl onto the couch on the far end of the room. She had moved to sit by the woman’s bedside, her eyes doing a scan of her vitals and her body, checking to see how she was doing. She wanted nothing more than for Rox to get better, she knew that she didn’t deserve this, that she didn’t deserve to suffer this way. Even after everything she still considered the woman to be a friend. 

She must have dozed off because the next time she woke up Ariel was gone and the sun was shining full blast through the window on the other side of the room. Stretching her arms above her head she looked around, hoping to see the girl somewhere nearby, but she was nowhere in sight. She figured she had probably weaseled her way downstairs to see her father. Jack, Sr. may have only been ‘Grandpa’ for a few days, but he was certainly not immune to her charm.

“Ethan?” Rox’s voice startled her and she jumped up from her chair as she let her eyes scan over the woman’s face. She was scared, that much she could tell, and she certainly couldn’t blame her.

“Rox.” She placed a reassuring hand on the other woman’s shoulder, praying that it offered her a little comfort. “It’s Leanne.”

“Where’s Ethan?” She whispered her question as her eyes blinked several times, doing their best to focus in on her and the room around them.

“He’s not here.” Leanne hated having to say those words to the woman. She may have been an enemy for a short period of time, but she had been a friend for longer, and she didn’t want her to feel alone.

“Is he okay?” She wished she could answer that question with an immediate ‘yes’, but she took a deep breath as she settled back into the chair.

“Something, happened.” Rox’s head turned toward her and she could see the fear in her eyes. She must have known that Ethan was headed for disaster too.

“How bad?” Her question sent Leanne’s heart into a panic. She didn’t want to worry her, not when she needed to focus on getting better. However, she knew Rox well enough to know that she needed to hear the truth, and that she would know if Leanne was lying.

“He’s downstairs.” She breathed out, her eyes filling with tears at the simple thought. “In the brig.”

“What did he do?” Rox’s question was sharp and she could see the slight anger in her eyes. She knew that Rox would surely yell at him for being stupid and would lay into him about how Ariel would react to this.

“Where do I begin?” She didn’t know where to start to be honest. Ethan had been on a downward spiral for months now. This wasn’t new to them, his emotional and mental well-being had been a rollercoaster since Ariel had arrived a year ago. She knew that he was destined to crumble eventually.

“That bad huh?” Rox didn’t seem surprised and she guessed that maybe she had seen it coming too.

“He took you off the vent without your doctor’s permission.” She tried to be gentle with that one. She knew that Ethan had his reasons, reasons that she supported, but he had defied direct orders nonetheless.

“Of course he did.” Rox huffed out, her head rolling back against the pillow as she stared at the ceiling with wide eyes. She knew this was a lot for the woman to take in and she wondered if she should stop while she was ahead.

“He also put a chest tube in.” But she knew that Rox would know she wasn’t telling her everything.

“Let me guess,” She turned her head back toward her and raised her eyebrow, “also without my doctor’s permission?”

“Yeah.” Leanne bit her tongue as she leaned back in the chair.

“Idiot.” Rox’s comment made her laugh. Of all the things that Ethan was, he was definitely prone to being an idiot more often than not.

“That he is.” She closed her eyes as she leaned her head backward. She just wanted this whole thing to be over with. She wanted to take her daughter and her idiot boyfriend and go home.

“So they locked him up?” It took Rox a minute to speak up again and when Leanne opened her eyes she had turned her head back on her pillow.

“Placed him in a psych hold actually.” She still couldn’t believe they had thought that he was crazy enough for a psych hold. He probably just needed to be sedated and allowed to sleep for an entire week.

“You’re kidding?” She couldn’t help the slight chuckle that left her lips at the other woman’s question. She was glad to know that she thought it was ridiculous too.

“Nope.” She let out a huff. Her head was killing her and she could feel her back starting to ache from this uncomfortable chair.

“How long?” Rox’s question startled her and she wasn’t sure why. Maybe saying it out loud was too much for her to bare. She took a deep breath and dropped her head back against the seat once more.

“72 hours.” She whispered. “He’s been down there almost 60.”

“They called you?” She couldn’t blame Rox for asking the question. If she had been in her position she would be wondering how the hell they knew about him too.

“No. Jack did.” She still couldn’t over the fact that the Colonel had called her at one in the morning. She had panicked when the phone had rung in the middle of the night, and seeing his name flash across the screen had sent her into a fit.

“His dad?” Rox was apparently just as shocked by that one as she was.

“Yeah. Said we should probably come.” He had actually told her that they had to come, that Ethan needed them, that he wasn’t doing well and that he needed his girls. He sure did know how to get under her skin.

“That was wise.” She was thankful that Rox seemed supportive of them being there. She knew that this had to be awkward for her, especially after some of the things that had been said between them.

“How are you feeling?” Leanne waited a few minutes to ask her the question she had been dying to know the answer too. She hadn’t gotten to read over the woman’s chart, despite trying desperately to get a hold of it. She wanted to make sure she was okay, that she was on her way to recovering and getting back home to them.

“I’d make a joke about being hit by a car but I fear that it wouldn’t be in good taste.” There was a humor to the woman’s words and she let out a soft chuckle. She was glad that she hadn’t lost her sense of humor in the darkness. She had always been one of the people who made Leanne laugh like there was no tomorrow. 

“I totally understand.” And she did. She knew that she was probably feeling like complete shit, but that saying it was just not her style. She was a strong woman, that much Leanne knew.

“Ariel with you?” Her question surprised her. Rox had always shown an interest in the girl, even before her and Ethan were a thing. Even after they weren’t. She knew that she had a rocky childhood, she guessed that maybe she sympathized with the teen.

“She’s downstairs with Ethan.” At least that’s where she assumed the teen had vanished too. She knew that she had wanted to see him when they had arrived a few hours ago, but his dad had explained to them that he was resting and that that was what he needed right now. Ariel had been upset, but she had shaken her head in agreement when he told her that she could see him soon.

“That’s good.” She whispered. “He loves that girl. Quite fiercely I might add.”

“Yeah. That he does.” She was well aware of how much he loved her, of how important she was to him. She had never seen Ethan care about anything so much in the short time she had known him. She knew that his entire world revolved around the blonde and that there wasn’t anything that he wouldn’t do for her.

“He loves you too you know?” She honestly didn’t understand how at this point. She had been so horrible to him the past few days. They had pushed and pulled so much over the past few months. She didn’t understand how he could still care about her at all.

“Yeah.” She sighed. Her eyes opening as she blinked back the tears in them.

“I mean it. I know things have been, awkward. But I never meant for it to get to this point Leanne.” Rox’s voice was quiet and Leanne could barely make out her words. But she knew what she was saying. She knew that she never meant to hurt her. “We used to be friends. I never wanted to hurt you, or Ariel. That was never my intention. It wasn’t Ethan’s either.”

“I know.” She dropped her head downward once more, locking her tear-filled eyes with the other woman’s. She hated that this had destroyed their friendship. She prayed that they could get it back one day.

“I’m sorry.” Rox whispered, a small smile coming over her face as she did her best to offer some sort of support through her words.

“I’m sorry too.” Leanne whispered back. She reached forward than, taking Rox’s hand in hers and squeezing softly. 

They sat in comfortable silence for a while, both lost in their own thoughts. Leanne just wanted things to get back to normal. She wanted to get back to LA and return to her somewhat ordinary life. She wanted to take her teenager to school and listen to her complain about her homework. She wanted Ethan to return to his ride alongs with Rox and listen to him complain about how stupid people could be sometimes. She wanted to come home to them both and make them dinner and laugh at their childish antics. She wanted to make love to her boyfriend and relax in his arms and not have a care in the world. She just wanted things to be easy again. Or, at least, as easy as they could be in her world.

“What caused him to snap?” Rox’s question brought her from her thoughts and she took a deep breath. She didn’t even know where to begin.

“Probably a little bit of everything.” And that was probably the truest answer she could supply her with. She didn’t know what had finally been the nail in the coffin for him, but it probably wasn’t stirred up by one particular thing or the other. “He’s been worried sick about you. He was here with you at first, but then…”

“Is everything okay?” She hesitated to tell her about her Ariel. She didn’t want anymore drama or worry to enter this poor woman’s life right now.

“Ariel ran away from home.” She whispered. She still couldn’t get over the fact that her daughter had just up and left without a word to either one of them.

“Oh God.” Rox’s genuine concern made her heart flutter in her chest. She knew right then and there that the woman had absolutely no ill-will toward the girl. “Is she alright?”

“Yeah. Ethan and his dad. They found her.” She choked back a sob at her words. She had been so terrified that she had lost her little girl for good. That she would never see her again. She never wanted to experience that feeling ever again. “But… for a while there. I didn’t know if we would.”

“I’m so sorry Leanne.” Rox squeezed her hand then, her eyes displaying her sympathy as she offered her a soft look.

“She’s been through so much.” She was sure that she probably didn’t need to justify Ariel’s behavior to the other woman. If she was anything like what Leanne imagined she was she was probably just the same at that age. “She’s hurting and she just, she pushed us away.” 

“Teenagers tend to do that. I sure as hell did when I was her age.” Her words confirmed her thoughts and she let out a soft chuckle.

“Yeah. Same here.” She had been a rebel, of sorts, but she couldn’t remember a time where she had ever felt so angry at her parents, or the world, that she needed to run away from them.

“You’re a strong woman raising a strong woman.” Rox smiled at her. “It’s not going to be easy.”

“That’s for damn sure.” She huffed out, a small smile forming on her lips. She certainly knew that raising a teenager would be hard work, but damn, she had certainly underestimated the power of the girl’s attitude.

“Ethan didn’t handle it well did he?” Rox’s question was soft and Leanne simply shook her head in response.

“No. He cracked. I think it’s all just been to much for him.” She let her eyes fall shut as she tried to fight off the tears. It was her job to help keep him safe, just like he said it was his job to keep her safe. She should have seen this coming. She should have protected him better. “First your accident, then Ariel, then the doctor and his dad and the baby and he just, he lost it.”

“Baby? You guys expecting?” She hadn’t meant for the baby part to come out. In fact, she didn’t even know where that came from. There was no baby, at least not yet, so why it was even on her mind she didn’t know.

“We…” She choked back a sob out of nowhere and she hated herself for it. She shouldn’t be getting emotional about this topic anymore. She needed to just move on from it. If it was meant to happen it would, but it sure as hell didn’t look like it.

“I know it’s none of my business.” She was right, it wasn’t any of her business, but to be honest, Leanne had no one else to talk to about this. She couldn’t exactly confide in her fourteen year old about her worries about getting pregnant. And while she loved Jesse more than anything, and he was her best-friend after all, she hadn’t even told him that they were considering it. “Especially not after that scare I gave Ethan.”

“We’ve talked about it.” She whispered. She closed her eyes shut tight as she took a deep breath. They hadn’t talked about it enough though.

“So nothing concrete?” Rox’s question was soft and Leanne was thankful that she was being so respecting of her.

“Not yet.” At least that’s what the doctor’s had said. Nothing had happened yet but it certainly could. Leanne had never been a patient person, despite the front that she put forward in Center Stage. And she knew for a fact that that word was nowhere close to anything she would use to describe Ethan. 

“You sound disappointed.” She let out a huff at Rox’s statement. Disappointed was an understatement at this point and she hated it.

“I’m…” She opened her eyes and offered the woman a sorrowful look. “I don’t know what I am to be honest.”

“You both want this though right?” She figured that Rox’s question stemmed from the fact that she had once been in a position where neither one of them had wanted a child that she was terrified she might be having. “It’s not just you, or just him?”

“No. No, it’s definitely both of us.” And it was, wasn’t it? She wanted this. She wanted a baby with Ethan. A little boy or girl who was the perfect mixture of them both. Someone with Ethan’s gray eyes and her auburn hair. A little person who would have his sense of humor and her determination. She wanted it so badly that it hurt. But at the same time, she was so terrified at the thought that she couldn’t think straight.

“But…” Rox knew was something up, her eyes softening as she offered Leanne a suspicious look. She was on to her, and she hated it.

“But… he’s not the one who’s going to be carrying a baby for nine months should it happen.” And that was one of her fears for sure. She had been so horribly sick with Caitlin that she had sworn up and down that she would never have another baby. And then after her daughter had been born, things had been bad. She had had a rough delivery, one that resulted in a C-section when it probably shouldn’t have. Her daughter had been small, and sick, and they had both spent almost a month in the hospital recovering. She couldn’t imagine having to go through that again.

“Ah. You’re scared.” Rox squeezed her hand as she offered her a reassuring smile.

“Terrified.” She whispered, her eyes filling with another round of tears as she sank down in her chair some. She knew that she would talk to Ethan about all of this, but he had been so damn excited that she didn’t know if she should destroy his dreams like that.

“Have you two talked about it?” Dammit the girl was good.

“No. Not really. Not that part anyway. We both want this. But after going to the doctor. I don’t know. I just…” She took a deep breath, her eyes opening and closing several times as she tried to gather her thoughts. “I had a rough pregnancy, with my daughter, and I think all those fears are just being re-examined now that it’s a real possibility.”

“I’m sure Ethan would understand.” She knew damn well that he would understand. And that was part of the problem. He was always so understanding. He would give up anything and everything for her and Ariel. Including his dream of being a father to her child. He was always so supportive of everything she did, even if he didn’t like it. She didn’t want to ruin this for him too. “He’s pretty crazy about you. I don’t think he’d make you go through with something you weren’t comfortable with.”

“I know. We don’t even know if its really possible. I mean, the tests say that it is. That there’s no reason why we shouldn’t conceive.” And yet they had been sleeping together off and on for almost an entire year without so much as a scare. She was beginning to wonder if they were doing something wrong. If it just wasn’t meant to happen. “But… I don’t know. I feel like if it were going to happen by now it should have.”

“Things like that don’t always go according to plan.” She offered her a smile smile, her eyes twinkling at the thought. “In fact, if I remember correctly, they never do.”

“Yeah. I guess I’m just overreacting.” She felt like an idiot for being so worried about it. Her children had been planned and they had been conceived rather immediately. In fact, she was fairly certain that it had only taken one time for each one to take place. But then again, her and Ethan certainly weren’t shy and they certainly weren’t holding anything back. She just needed to know for sure if it was ever going to happen or not.

“You’re not overreacting Leanne.” Rox squeezed her hand once more and she was thankful to have the woman in her corner. “If it’s meant to happen it will. Whether today or next week or in a year. I have faith in that much.”

“Thank you.” Leanne whispered, her hand squeezing the other woman’s in return. “Hearing you say that is… helpful.”

“Well I’m glad I could be of service.” She offered her a soft smile as she dropped her head back against the pillow. She felt bad for talking the woman’s ear off. She had just woken up from a coma and all. “I think we should start over.” Rox whispered after after a few minutes, her head tilting back in Leanne’s general direction. “Just act like none of this bullshit happened in the first place.”

“I’m perfectly okay with that.” Leanne whispered in response. “I know that I could really use a friend right now. It sure does sound like you could use one too.”

“Definitely.” Rox squeezed her hand again, this time a little tighter, and she offered her a genuine smile that made Leanne feel comforted. More comforted than she had in weeks. 

She knew that they had been through a lot. That everything with Ethan had gotten them all screwed up and that they had let their friendship fall apart because of him. They both cared about him a lot, of that much she knew, and she recognized that Rox would always be a part of Ethan’s life. She was okay with that. She was willing to accept that. And as of now, she was thankful for it. Because her being a part of Ethan’s life meant that she was now a part of her life, and if Leanne knew anything, it was that right now she needed a friend.


	56. I Know Something...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ethan knew that shit eating grin on Rox’s face meant she was up to no good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *I can’t have these two be mad at each other. I just can’t. That and I think Leanne and Ethan are going to need a friend like Rox in the future.

Ethan had been so incredibly thankful when his dad had finally gotten him released from that damn cell, his “psych hold” finally ending and his freedom returned to him. The first thing he had done was chased down Leanne and Ariel and he had held onto them for dear life. He had promised over and over again that he would never scare them like that again. That he loved them more than he thought possible and that they meant the world to him. He had been thrilled when Leanne had actually hugged him back instead of pushing him away like he expected.

Ariel had clung to him like he was going to vanish and she had been reluctant to let him go check on Rox. But she had waited in the hallway quietly while he made sure the woman was okay and when he realized that she was still sleeping he had snuck out and returned to his girls. Ariel had practically dragged him out of the hospital and to the car that would take them to their hotel room. He was thankful that they weren’t headed back to LA just yet, he had wanted to make sure that Rox was okay first.

After he had gotten himself a much needed shower, and a much needed beer, he had settled himself on the couch of their suite with Ariel on one side of him and Leanne on the other. And that was where they had stayed for the rest of the night. They ordered room service and watched a ridiculous amount of ‘Chopped’ reruns on TV and when Ariel fell asleep with her head on his shoulder he had carried her to her bed and tucked her in like she was small child.

Leanne had followed him and then she had dragged him to the bathroom with her, declaring that she was in desperate need of a shower and that she thought she might need some assistance. Ethan had been shocked, but thankful, he knew that sleeping next to her would be hard if he had to keep his hands to himself. They had stumbled into the bathroom with their lips glued to each other and they had shed clothing faster than Ethan knew possible. He was honestly surprised that Leanne hadn’t ripped his uniform in an attempt to get it off of his body before he could strip her of her own clothes.

They had sex twice in the shower, and then once again against the bathroom counter. And Ethan was amazed that his legs had even worked after the second time, much less after the third, and when Leanne had tried to coax him into another round he had had to swat her hands away. He didn’t know what had gotten into her, but damn she was on fire.

After they had finally pulled clothes on they had collapsed into bed, sated and exhausted and slightly loopy from the lack of oxygen they were both surely suffering from at this point. He had tucked her against his side softly, his arms wrapping around her like he was afraid she would disappear and he had been thankful when she had seemed to have drifted off. But then her hand was wandering down his chest and under the waistband of his boxers and he let out a huff when she gripped him softly, her eyes remaining closed as she kept her head nuzzled against his shoulder.

“Leanne!” He growled out, his hand moving downward to try and stop her movements. It’s not that he wasn’t enjoying this, but damn, wasn’t three times in an hour enough? “Stop!”

“Ethan... please...” She was begging him. Straight up begging. And he wanted nothing more than to say ‘yes’ and have his way with her again.

“Ariel is right there!” But then he remembered that their daughter was sleeping less than twenty feet away and there was no amount of lust in the world that was going to make him have sex that close to the teen.

“We’ll be quiet.” She whispered as she peered up at him through her lashes. She had a devilish smile on her lips and her hand was still wrapped tightly around his now growing erection. He felt her suddenly removing her sleep shorts, and he could tell that she had dragged her panties down with them. What she thought was going to happen he wasn’t entirely sure.

“Leanne.” He growled her name as he flipped them over, pinning her to the bed softly as he eyed her sternly. “Nothing about what I wanna do to you is gonna be quiet.”

“Then we can go back to the bathroom.” She had a point. A very small, but valid point.

“If I try to have sex standing up right now I’m gonna black out.” And it was true. His back was throbbing as it was from sleeping on that ungodly bed in his cell. And his legs ached in places he hadn’t felt pain in years.

“Why?” She batted her eye lashes at him as she sped up her movements, only to slow them down when his hand made contact with her wrist. “You’re a spry young fella.”

“I’m a 45 year old man who just spent 72 hours in a psych hold and got ravaged by his horny girlfriend in the bathroom. Multiple times.” He tugged her hand free and moved to pin her arms above her head. He wasn’t about to let her have any freedom until she could get herself under control. “I can barely feel my legs, much less do I think they’ll keep me standing for another round.”

“She needs her own room.” Leanne huffed, a pout forming on her lips as she let out a sigh.

“We’re not getting her her own room for one night.” If they had been staying longer, maybe.

“Buuut...” Her eyes were dark and lustful and he could feel her body trembling with need beneath him. He wanted nothing more than to have his way with her right then and there, and had they been alone, well they probably wouldn’t sleep at all that night. But they weren’t alone, and they had to behave themselves, and that was that.

“Leanne, I love you, a lot, but we are not having sex within feet of our teenage daughter.” Never in a million years would that be okay with him. Ever. “Nor, are we getting her her own hotel room. We’ll head back to LA tomorrow after I check on Rox. I promise.”

“Buuuut...” He could see her resolve fading, her eyes softening as her body sank back against the pillows.

“No buts Leanne.” He whispered, dropping his forehead to hers with a soft sigh. “Now, if you’re real quiet we can make out a little.”

“You’re no fun.” She spat out. He could tell that she was mad, but at this point, he would rather her be a little upset than have to explain to his fourteen year old what was going on beneath the sheets.

“Just wait until we’re alone tomorrow night.” He dropped his head to her shoulder, dragging his teeth along the exposed skin of her neck as he spoke. “I’ll show you ‘no fun’.”

“I hate you.” She rolled from beneath him then, dragging the blankets over her and off of his body.

“Well, for our daughter’s sake, can you hate me with some pants on?” He dropped a kiss to her shoulder as he moved to hover over her once more. 

“I’m leaving you.” She huffed out, her hand reaching down to grab her underwear before sliding them back on. He watched as she sat up on the edge of the bed, her hands pulling her shorts back up swiftly before she stood.

“Where are you going?” He plopped back against the mattress and reached out for her, pulling her back down to the bed.

“To lay with her.” She tried to pull herself free but he wrapped his arms around her tightly, moving to pin her beneath him once more. Ethan let out a soft chuckle when she growled at him and he watched as her eyes turned dark in a way that said she was ready to take whatever his challenge was and throw it out the window.

“Whhhhy?” He whined. He didn’t want her to sleep over there, away from him. He needed her in his arms, especially after everything that had happened.

“Because I don’t trust myself.” She whispered, her hands stilling themselves against his t-shirt as she closed her eyes.

“You’re telling me you can’t keep your hands to yourself for one night?” He knew it would be hard, hell he was struggling just thinking about it, but he needed her by his side right now.

“I make no promises.” She was both sad and frustrated and he just wanted to make things right. But he knew that the one thing that she wanted he couldn’t, and wouldn’t, give her right now.

“But I wanna snuggle.” He lowered his head and pressed a kiss against her lips, his hands moving to her hips as he pushed at the material of her shirt. “I’ve missed you.”

“Well hug the pillow then, because I can’t think of anything other than ravaging you right now.” She pushed him up and off of her then, rolling over to sit on the edge of the bed again. He heard her let out a sigh before standing, her head turning downward as she took a step toward the teen’s bed. “And since you frown upon that, I’m making life easier on us both.”

“This isn’t easier. I want you in my arms.” He reached out though and grabbed her hand in his. He wasn’t ready to say goodbye to her, he wasn’t ready to stop fighting for her. “Please Lea, it’s been a week. Can’t I just hold you while we sleep? It’ll be morning before we know it.”

“No Ethan.” She growled. He could tell that she was crying, he could see the tears on her cheeks. He felt horrible for doing this. But he didn’t understand why she couldn’t just snuggle with him. They only had a few hours left before morning anyway, surely they could make it work.

“Please.” He whispered, his hand dropping hers as he looked up at with her pleading eyes.

“Yes please mom, just let him snuggle you so he’ll stop whining.” The voice coming from the other bed startled them both and Ethan watched as Leanne’s eyes went from sad and full of tears to shocked and horrified. “I’m trying to sleep here.”

“Oh God.” Leanne’s voice was soft as she fell back to the bed next to him. He was horrified, beyond horrified. He couldn’t imagine how she was feeling right now. “You heard all of that?”

“Enough to know that my parents are disgusting.” The teen growled out. She stayed on her side though, her back to them, and Ethan was at least thankful that she hadn’t seen anything that had taken place between them.

“Ariel…” His voice was soft and he wanted to move toward her, but he knew that he was in no physical position to do so.

“Go to bed dad.” She whispered as her body snuggled lower under the covers. “You too mom. Please.”

“Okay sweetie.” Leanne stood again and moved to press a kiss against the girl’s head before returning to her spot on the edge of the bed.

“Goodnight Angel.” He whispered. He heard her let out a mumbled ‘goodnight’ before there was nothing but silence filling the room. He watched as Leanne turned toward him, eyeing him awkwardly from her place between the two beds. “Come back to bed.” He whispered, his hand reaching out for hers as he offered her a soft smile.

“Fine.” She huffed out, crawling into the bed beside him. He wrapped his arms around her tightly, pulling her close, and he let out a sigh when she sank back against the mattress and closed her eyes. 

“I love you.” He whispered against her hair, his arm tightening around her waist as he pressed kisses to her temple.

“I love you too.” She whispered back, her lips pressing against his shoulder softly as she snuggled close. “Now go to bed.”

“Yes ma’am.” He pressed another kiss to her head, then one to her cheek before he settled back against the pillows with a sigh. He heard Leanne’s breaths even out within minutes and he was thankful that he had seemed to exhaust her for the time being. He let his eyes finally fall close and he dozed off quicker than he expected.

——

When Ethan had awoken the following morning both Leanne and Ariel were gone, their belongings packed neatly into their suitcases which sat by the door. He let out a sigh at their absence, but their note on the bathroom mirror about meeting him for breakfast made him smile. He had never showered and changed so fast in his entire life.

They had enjoyed breakfast downstairs before they parted ways, and he had kissed both his girls goodbye before heading back toward the hospital to check on Rox. They made plans to meet back up at the hotel at noon so that they could catch a ride back to LA with his dad. He had been reluctant to leave them, but he knew that he needed to check on Rox before he went away. It was why he was in this mess in the first place.

When he arrived at the hospital he checked in quickly and went in search of her room. Thankful that Jack’s ghost seemed to have stop following him around. As much as he loved and missed his brother, he was really tired of his ass bugging him. He stopped just outside Rox’s room, watching as she talked quietly with a nurse who was checking her vitals. He offered her a smile from his spot at the door and waited for the nurse to move on before stepping inside the small space.

“Hey stranger.” He said softly. He was glad to see that she was sitting up some, a small smile on her face as she eyed him from her spot across the room.

“Ethan!” His name sounded foreign coming from her lips. She hadn’t really called by him his first name since they had called things off a few months ago. And while she had maintained a civil relationship at work, things had still been awkward, especially after they thought she might be pregnant.

“Hey!” He was so glad to see her in good spirits though. He had missed her over the past week and a half. More than he thought he would. “How you feeling?”

“Tired. Sore.” She closed her eyes for a brief second before opening them up to offer him a soft look. He could tell that she was trying to be reassuring. “But I’m okay.”

“You scared us all for a while there.” He moved into the room a little more, stopping beside her bed as he eyed her softly. He had been downright terrified when he had arrived in San Diego and found her in such poor condition. He was worried that he’d never get her back.

“I hear you did the same.” He shrugged his shoulders at her statement. He hadn’t meant to scare anyone. He had been fine.

“I’m fine.” He whispered, his hand going out to take hers gently. “You on the other hand, were hit by a car.”

“You were talking to ghosts.” She gave him a pointed look and he rolled his eyes at her. Leave it to her to point out what didn’t need to be made obvious.

“Hush.” He said softly, squeezing her hand as he moved to sit on the bed next to her.

“Seriously though Ethan, are you okay?” He could see the worry in her eyes, the fear that something had snapped and that she was going to lose him too. He recognized that look all to well. Leanne and Ariel wore it like a mask lately.

“I wasn’t for while there.” No, in fact, he wasn’t fine. He was tired and he was terrified and he was scared of losing the most important people in his life. “But I’m good now.”

“Good.” She said softly, squeezing his hand in response. He was thankful to see her getting stronger. He knew that she had a long road ahead of her but he knew that she was a fighter. “Because those girls need you.”

“Those girls,” He swallowed as he thought of his girls. He loved them both more than anything in this world, but they deserved so much better than his broken ass, “would be just fine without me.”

“Ethan...” She gave him a warning look to match her warning tone and he knew that if there was anyone in this world who was going to set him straight, it was going to be her.

“What?” He let out a sigh, his eyes closing as he tried to contain himself. The past few weeks had been so emotional. He just wanted this shit to stop.

“Don’t be stupid. They love you.” She squeezed his hand once more and he opened his eyes to lock them with hers. He could see the rawness in her eyes, the way she was willing to fight for him. He didn’t deserve her, just like he didn’t deserve them. “And you love them. You know you’d be nothing without them. It’s always been that way. Even when we were together. It was them that you needed.”

“Rox, that’s not true.” He didn’t want her to feel like she had never meant anything to him. He had loved her with part of his heart. But he would never love her with his whole heart. Not like he loved Leanne, not like he loved his daughter.

“It is. And it’s okay.” She offered him a soft smile and he felt a little piece of his heart break. He had never meant to hurt her. “It was never meant to be. And that’s fine. Sometimes it doesn’t work out like you expect.”

“I cared about you.” He reached out with his other hand and cupped her cheek gently against his palm. “I still do.”

“I know. And I care about you.” She tilted her head against his hand for a brief second before pulling it back and offering him a look that said that she meant business. “But we’re better off as friends and you’re better off with those girls. Everyone knows it.”

“I’m sorry Rox.” He whispered. He really was sorry. To her, and to Leanne, and to Ariel. He had caused a mess of things all because he couldn’t get his head straight.

“Don’t be Ethan.” She smiled at him again, her hand moving to pat his arm as she shifted in her seat a little. “Look, I’ve known Leanne a long time okay. Since before the accident. I watched her kids grow up. I watched her lose it all. I’ve seen her at her worst. And you, you definitely bring out her best. She needs you.”

“You guys were friends?” He never knew that they had been friends for so long. He thought they had just known each other briefly, in passing, he hated himself even more now. He certainly never wanted to ruin a friendship with his stupidity.

“We still are.” Her words shocked him. He had no idea that they had reconciled, not on that level anyway. He knew that they were civil with each other. That Leanne had been helping Rox with her hours at the hospital, that Rox was aware of her move to get Ariel adopted.

“Good. She needs more of those in her life.” And it was true. Sure she had Jesse, but other than that, she didn’t have many friends. She had certainly grown a little closer to Noa, and in turn, Mario, since they had started dating. But it was really just Jesse that she had to confide in.

“Well she’s got me.” Rox’s smile made his heart flutter. He was so proud of her ability to not let this bullshit bother her. He didn’t know if he would be so forgiving.

“Thank you.” He whispered. And he was thankful. Very, very thankful.

“You’re welcome.” She whispered back. But then her eyes grew wide and she broke out into a giant smile as she offered him a pointed look. “And by the way. She’s pregnant.”

“Excuse me??” Those were certainly not words he expected to ever hear leave her mouth. And he certainly never expected for her to be smiling when she said them.

“You heard me.” She said softly, her hand patting his arm once more.

“How the hell do you know that?” He didn’t even know that Leanne was pregnant. “Did she tell you?”

“She didn’t have too.” She let out a soft chuckle and he imagined that his face had to be contorted in all kinds of weird ways right now. “A woman just knows.”

“She can’t be. We went to the doctor.” Right, she couldn’t be. They had just been to the doctor. They surely would have said something wouldn’t they? “They would’ve noticed.”

“Did they do scans?” He wracked his brain for a memory of any kind of scan.

“No.” All he could remember was her getting her blood pressure taken. And them taken a bunch of blood. “But they took about 10 vials of blood.”

“Well maybe her blood work hasn’t come back yet.” She shrugged her shoulders, the smile never leaving her face. “It hasn’t been a week.”

“There’s no way...” Was there?

“Ethan...” She tilted her head to the side in the way that made him know he was in trouble. She was about to get to the bottom of it.

“What?” He let out a sigh. He knew better than to argue with that face.

“Are you two having sex?” He felt like a teenager being questioned by his big sister.

“Yes.” He shouldn’t be embarrassed to say that. Not to Rox. She was a grown woman. She knew exactly what happened when two grown people cared about each other. Hell, they had had plenty of sex in their time together too.

“Are you using protection?” He swallowed.

“No.” He whispered. They had never used protection. Not once. He had never thought to do it and she had never asked. He knew it was irresponsible, but he figured if she had a problem with it she would have said something.

“Than it’s 100% possible.” He let out a huff. She was right. It was 100% possible that she was pregnant right now.

“So... wait... you don’t actually know this.” He raised an eyebrow at her as he crossed his arms over his chest. “You just suspect?”

“I bet you $50.” She offered him a sly smile and he shook his head back and forth.

“I’m not betting with you.” He huffed out. He knew better than to get involved in a bet with Rox. He always, always lost. “I always lose.”

“I’m just saying Ethan. I know it.” Her voice was soft and he couldn’t help but let out a sigh. He knew that if Rox was telling him this that there was a very real possibility. She wouldn’t just say something like this for the hell of it. “The way she was talking. The way she was handling herself. She’s pregnant. She’s gotta be.”

He let out a soft sigh as she closed his eyes. He knew it was possible. It was more than possible. They had lots of sex and they were never safe. And apparently she was perfectly capable of having children. There was no reason for him to be in such denial about this. No reason at all.

“She talked to you?” He asked quietly, his eyes opening as he locked them with hers. He was nervous to have this talk with anyone, but he felt oddly comfortable having it with Rox. “About the baby?”

“Well, the potential baby, but yes.” She leaned her head back against the pillow and offered him a soft smile as she tilted her head to the side.

“What did she say?” He wanted to know if Leanne had told Rox anything that she hadn’t been willing to tell him.

“She’s scared Ethan.” Her eyes softened as she spoke and he could tell that she was being serious. “She needs to know that you want this just as much as she does.”

“I do Rox, I really really do.” He whispered. And he was telling the damn truth. “I’ve never wanted kids before. It just didn’t seem possible. And I was okay with that. But then Ariel came around and I just, I don’t know, I love being her father. She makes me so happy and so proud and I can’t imagine loving anyone as much as I love her. But I wanna do it all from the start.”

“Well you need to tell Leanne that then.” He thought he had, in more ways than one. He had tried to get her to talk to him after the appointment, but she had shut him out and pushed him away. She had ignored him all weekend and when he left on Sunday she hadn’t said a word to him. She hadn’t even kissed him ‘goodbye’ before he boarded the chopper. 

“I did.” He whispered, his eyes filling with tears. He felt like he was letting her down again.

“Well maybe tell her more than once.” She reached for his hand then, squeezing it softly as she offered him a smile. “Ladies like to be reminded of those kinds of things.”

“Is she scared of anything else?” He didn’t know if he wanted to know, but he figured that the only way he could help her would be to know what was really going on with her.

“She said she had a rough pregnancy with her daughter. I vaguely remember the tail end of it. It was bad from what I recall. She’s scared that will happen again.” He didn’t know that Rox had known Leanne back then, but it kind of made sense.

“She never told me that.” He said softly. He never knew that Leanne had struggled with Caitlin. He had never known anything had been wrong at all. Other than that she had been sick. He figured she just meant morning sickness, maybe some extra pain. He hadn’t known that things had been bad bad.

“Well now you know.” Rox’s words were quiet and she squeezed his hand as she offered him a soft smile. He was thankful that she was willing to help him through this.

“Thank you Rox. For being such a good friend.” He squeezed her hand this time, his eyes glistening as he fought back another round of tears. “You didn’t have to do that, talk to her like that. After everything we’ve both put you through...”

“I put you both through a lot too Ethan. It’s fine.” He could see her own eyes tearing up and he wanted nothing more than to pull her into a hug and tell her that everything would be okay. “Leanne’s been my friend for almost a decade. She’s a good person. I couldn’t imagine letting something like this come between us. Not when we still have to see each other. Not when we both care about you and Ariel. I just want what’s best for you all.”

“You deserve to be happy Rox.” And she did. She deserved to be loved by someone who wasn’t going to break her heart like he did. Someone who would treat her right and love her endlessly. He had wanted to be that guy, but he just couldn’t. Not when his whole heart belonged to Leanne. Not when she was the only one he could love endlessly.

“And I will be.” She smiled at him brightly then, her eyes shining as she squeezed his hand tightly. “But I’ll be even happier when you make me an auntie.”

“You and Noa are gonna be relentless aren’t you?” He couldn’t even imagine the two of them as aunts. His children were surely going to be spoiled to no end.

“You have no idea.” She chuckled softly with her words and he let out a soft laugh.

“So what do I do now?” He let out a sigh. He knew that he needed to talk to Leanne. That he needed to get this stuff out in the open, and sooner rather than later. Especially if she really was already pregnant. “Do I confront her?”

“Ariel’s hearing is soon isn’t it?” He had almost forgotten about their hearing with CPS and the judge. 

“A week from today.” He was a nervous wreck just thinking about it.

“Maybe hold off. Wait until that’s over.” She had a good point though. He probably shouldn’t stir Leanne up anymore than she already was. “I know she’s nervous about it.”

“What if she’s not pregnant?” He feared that he would make things worse if she wasn’t actually pregnant and Leanne wanted to be. He wasn’t even sure how she was feeling about things at this point. “What if I bring it up and it just upsets her.”

“It won’t upset her Ethan.” Her voice was calm and he wished that he could just have her have this conversation with Leanne instead. “Just ask her. Nicely.”

“I’m always nice.” He huffed out. He was always nice to Leanne, wasn’t he?

“Ethan...” Her warning tone made him roll his eyes. She always was one for dramatic flare.

“Fine.” He let out a sigh as he offered her a soft smile. “Thanks again for this Rox.”

“You’re welcome.” She patted his arm once more and offered him a big smile. He was so thankful for her involvement in all of this. She was certainly saving him and Leanne several hundred dollars in therapists bills.

“You get some rest.” He reached out and pulled her into a gentle hug then, his arms tightening around her when he felt her hug him back. He was so glad that she was on the path to getting better. “We’re gonna need you with us next week.”

“There’s nowhere I’d rather be.” She whispered, her arm tightening around him as much as possible as she buried her face against his neck. “That’s for sure.”


	57. Shocking News

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leanne gets a shocking phone call. And then so does Rox. Also, Jack, Sr. knows something’s up and Leanne can’t figure out how.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *The friendship between these two is my new jam. Also, could you imagine Leanne’s face when she found out this kind of news.  
>  ****Also, this is the second to last chapter guys!**

Leanne had been thankful when things had finally started to return to normal. Until, they suddenly weren’t anymore. 

She and Ethan and Ariel had ridden back home from San Diego with Jack three days after she and Ariel had arrived and when they had finally gotten settled at home things had been peaceful. Ariel had agreed, reluctantly, to return to school that Friday so that she could get up from the week and Leanne had been thankful that she had put up very little of a fight. Ethan had spent the afternoon continuing to work on his office, and she had gladly retreated to their room to lay down. 

She had been downright exhausted the past few days. Her body having been put through the ringer the past two weeks with everything that had been going on. And she had relished in the ability to spend the afternoon in the bed doing absolutely nothing. Ethan had cooked dinner quietly while Jack had helped Ariel with homework and when she had come downstairs to the ultimate picture of domesticity she had lost it.

Ethan had rushed to her side, his arms going around her immediately, the fear in his voice betraying his attempt to be strong. She didn’t know why seeing them like that had sent her into a crying fit, but she was just so glad that her family was finally back together again. He had soothed her gently, his hands rubbing her back as he hushed her, his lips pressing kiss after kiss against her head. And when he had released her with a gentle peck to the lips she had been glad that he hadn’t asked what had done in her.

The four had enjoyed dinner together before Jack bid his goodbye’s, claiming he had an early morning tomorrow and that he needed to get some rest. Ariel had then retreated to her room with her book and she had stayed there the rest of the night, the sounds from her radio filling the upstairs for a few hours before she turned in for the night. Ethan had settled in the kitchen to do the dishes and she had watched him from her place at the table. She had never thought that seeing him in such a domestic setting would do such things to her heart, amongst other parts of her body, and she had had to excuse herself before she took advantage of him against the kitchen counter. Had Ariel not been home, she wouldn’t have hesitated.

She decided on a shower, alone, praying that the warm water would help her come to her senses. But Ethan had joined her without warning and all bets had been off after that. They had fooled around until the water ran cold and he hadn’t even bothered to dry either one of them off before he lifted her onto the counter and entered her slowly. She had been thankful when she heard the teen’s door shut down the hallway, signaling that she was heading to bed. They would get so much more done without the fear of her interrupting them.

They had made love twice more after their little adventure in the bathroom and Ethan had tucked her sated and naked body against his with a gentle huff after they were done. She had closed her eyes and willed herself to sleep, but for some reason, she couldn’t get her brain to shut off. She didn’t know what was up with her body lately. She had been so exhausted, so tired that all she wanted to do was sleep, and yet, the second she got around Ethan, all she wanted to do was have sex with him. And not just normal sex, no, rather, she wanted hot, passionate sex. She was honestly impressed with the fact that he seemed to have no issue with the things she wanted him to do to her either.

He had whispered against her ear that she needed to sleep. That they were all tired and that they needed to take the chance to recover. She had smiled back at him as she snuggled closer, her bare legs tangling with his as she told him that she loved him. He had whispered it back before pressing a kiss to her temple. And then his soft snores had filled the room as his body finally relaxed under hers. She had laid awake for another three hours before sleep had finally consumed her, and she had been downright wiped at that point.

When she woke up the next morning the bed was empty, and cold, signaling that he had been gone for quite some time. She pushed herself into a sitting position before giving the room a once over. His cell phone was gone from the nightstand, along with his pager and wallet, and she didn’t see his boots anywhere in sight. She figured he must have gotten a call to go into work and she let out a sigh. There truly was no rest for the wicked in this industry.

After taking a quick shower and pulling on jeans and t-shirt she made her way down the hall to check on Ariel. The teen was just pulling her hair into a ponytail when she stopped outside the bathroom door and she offered her a small smile as she leaned against the doorframe.

“Morning love.” She whispered. She would never get tired of waking up to the sight of her daughter in her house. 

“Morning mom.” And she would certainly never get tired of hearing those words leave the girl’s mouth.

“You sleep okay?” She had been worried about how all of this would affect the teen, how the back and forth and the San Diego trip and the drama with Ethan would rock her world.

“Yeah.” Her voice was soft but her eyes were relaxed and her body language told Leanne all she needed to know. That she was okay and that she was on her way to getting better with everyday that passed. “Dad got called in to work.”

“I figured as much.” She was shocked at the way her heart fluttered at the sound of the teen calling Ethan ‘dad’. She loved the idea more than she ever thought possible. “I’ll take you to school.”

“Okay.” Ariel offered her a soft smile as she slid past her and toward her room. She grabbed her backpack and headed down the stairs, Leanne following close behind.

They had driven to the school in a comfortable silence and Leanne had been thankful that Ariel wasn’t in a super talkative mood. She had so much on her mind and she just wanted to get back home so that she could rest and hopefully get over whatever this was that was making her feel so sick. She heard her phone ring from it’s space in the cup holder but Ariel was just exiting the car with a soft ‘goodbye’ so she let the phone ring as she told the girl to have a good day. 

After running by the store for a few things she headed home and she didn’t see the notification for a missed call and a voicemail until after she put everything away and climbed back into bed. She recognized the number of her doctor’s office and immediately started to panic. Her blood test results must be back, which meant they must be calling to tell her just how poorly her chances of getting pregnant were. Opening her phone she hesitated for a second before clicking on the voicemail icon and listening to it with bated breath.

“Ms. Rorish this is Dr. Samuels with your OBGYN office. We were just calling to let you know that the results of your blood tests came back. It appears that everything is completely normal and that there doesn’t appear to be any problems. We did however notice that you’re HcG levels are high and after retesting the samples several times we’re excited to let you know that you are pregnant. We will try calling back later today to schedule a time for you to come in and so that we can do some more tests and perform an ultrasound. Please give us a call back at your earliest convenience, if not, we will speak to you later. Thanks and have a good day.”

Leanne felt herself drop the phone before she could even listen to the rest of the message. Pregnant? There was no way. She couldn’t possibly already be pregnant. Could she? But then it hit her. The trouble sleeping, the exhaustion, the headaches and achy back. The raging sex drive. It all made sense now. She was pregnant. And she had tried her best to ignore it. And she had failed.

She pulled the phone back up to her ear and listened to the message at least five more times before she let out a frustrated sigh and fell back against the pillows. She couldn’t believe this. She was pregnant. With Ethan’s child. She didn’t know what to think.

Ariel’s hearing was next week. In only five short days. The last thing she wanted to do was to drop this kind of bombshell on her and Ethan. She took a deep breath as she eyed her phone through tear-filled eyes. She knew that she should call Ethan. That she should let him know what was going on. But she was terrified, more terrified than she had ever been. She knew that he wanted a baby, but damn, this was all too fast. Sighing, she dialed the only number she could think of other than his.

“Leanne?” The voice on the other end was soft and gentle and she was thankful to hear her friend’s voice after the morning she had had.

“Rox.” She let out a breath she didn’t know she had been holding. “Thank God.”

“Is everything okay?” She could hear the concern in her voice. The way she was hesitant to ask the question in case something was really wrong. She was still in San Diego, and would be until at least Monday. She knew that the woman was hopeful that nothing would go wrong while she was gone.

“Do you have a minute to talk?” Leanne asked softly.

“For you, I have all day.” Rox’s voice was full of humor and she could tell that she was probably bored out of her mind.

“I’m pregnant.” The words left Leanne’s mouth before she could even make sense of them and she was surprised at how easy it was to tell the woman.

“Oh thank God.” She could hear the joy in her voice. The way she was happy to hear those words leave her mouth. “I was worried it was something bad.”

“Rox…” She took a deep breath. “Did you hear what I said? I’m pregnant.”

“Tell me something I didn’t already know.” She did a double take at the woman’s words. She what?

“What do you mean?” Leanne asked the question quietly.

“I called it.” Rox said softly. “I just knew.”

“The doctor’s office called. They left a message.” She let her eyes fall close as she tried to relax back against the pillows. “Apparently my HcG levels are high.”

“So like really pregnant? Not just a home test?” She hadn’t even thought to take one of those. She guessed it was probably arbitrary at this point though.

“Yeah. Really pregnant.” She let out a breath. She couldn’t wrap her head around all of this.

“That’s amazing Leanne.” She was thankful for the woman’s support, without it, she would probably be a mess right now. “Congrats.”

“Thanks.” She whispered. “I think.”

“This is great!” She wanted it to be great. She really did. “Have you told Ethan?”

“No. Not yet.” She felt tears spring to her eyes at the simple thought. “He’s at work. I called you first.”

“Well I’m honored.” Rox said quietly. She wished the woman wasn’t three hours away. Otherwise she’d jump in her car and go see her. 

“I’m scared.” Scared was an understatement at this point.

“Of what?” Rox’s voice was calm and reassuring and she was glad for it.

“Telling Ethan.” She took a deep breath. “Telling Ariel.”

“It’ll be okay Leanne.” She swallowed back a sob. “I promise. They’re both going to be so happy.”

“I don’t know Rox.” She whispered. “They’ve been through so much.”

“Well this will be the happy news they need in order to make things better.” She prayed that that was true. She wanted nothing more than for her family to finally be happy together. “You should call Jesse.”

“Yeah.” She hadn’t thought to call the man. He wasn’t even aware of their decision to start trying. Hell, he wasn’t even aware that they had thought about it. She couldn’t imagine what that conversation would be like.

“Call him Leanne.” Rox’s voice was still calm and Leanne didn’t understand how she could be so nonchalant about this. “Call me back tonight. Or tomorrow. After you talk to Ethan.”

“Okay.” She whispered, her eyes opening as she heard the front door open downstairs. She didn’t expect Ethan home so early and she did her best to wipe her tears away as she waited for his footsteps on the stairs. “I’ve gotta go.”

“Okay. Call me.” She nodded her head softly before reaching down to end the call with a soft sigh.

She waited for the sound of Ethan’s boots on the staircase, but they never came. Instead, she heard the front door open once more and then close again, only to repeat itself again a few moments later. Sighing to herself she pulled herself from the bed and grabbed Ethan’s hoodie off the dresser, pulling it over her head as she made her way into the hallway. She was shocked when she saw Jack standing in the foyer, a cardboard box in his hands and a small smile on his face.

“Sorry if I woke you.” He called as he dropped the box on top on the other by the front door. “Ethan left this stuff in my truck and I thought he might need it.”

“It’s okay, I wasn’t sleeping.” She made her way down the stairs as she dragged her hands over her tired eyes. She wished she had been able to fall asleep. Instead she found out that she was carrying a small child around inside her. “I had to take Ariel to school.”

“Gotcha.” He turned toward her and offered her a shoulder shrug. “Ethan go to work?”

“Yeah. Got called in early.” She let out a yawn as she shook her head and she couldn’t help but smile when Jack reached out to pat her arm.

“You should go get some sleep.” He squeezed her forearm then, offering her a sympathetic smile. “I can get Ariel from school.”

“You don’t mind?” She knew she still had several hours before the teen had to be picked up, but she had a feeling that she wasn’t going to want to get out of bed once she laid down.

“Of course not.” He stepped back then, patting the top of the box he had just set down. “I’ll let Ethan know.”

“Thank you Jack.” She whispered, her eyes doing their best not to tear up at the simple gesture.

“No worries. You get some rest now.” He offered her a wink and she swallowed. He couldn’t know too, could he? There was no way.

“I’m gonna try.” She certainly was exhausted. Maybe now she had gotten some of it off of her chest she’d be able to rest.

“I’ll see you this afternoon.” He offered her one last knowing look and then he was heading back through the doors just as he had come in.

She let out a sigh as she headed back up the stairs, falling into the bed with a sigh. She wished Ethan were here. She wanted nothing more than to curl up in his arms right now and waste the day away. She pulled her phone out and shot him a quick ‘I love you’ text before curling up against the soft sheets. She was asleep in minutes, her eyes falling closed before she could think any further about the issue at hand.


	58. It Takes a Village

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “They say it takes a village. We’re your village.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *The finale broke me and I am no longer okay. I have so many ideas that I want to write after watching that, but I had already drawn up the outline for how this story was going to go. So I didn’t want to break that. There will be a sequel to the Drabbles, called “the Story of Us” and it will be about 10-12 chapters. I hope to start it soon, so look for it starting around the beginning of August! Thanks to everyone who has been so loyal to the stories and who has stuck around through the good and the bad! It surely has been a rough season for us all! Here’s hoping there’s some light at the end of the tunnel and someone saves our little family! I’m not giving up hope!

Ethan had been having, what had to be, the world’s greatest dream. He and Leanne were getting married. A real wedding, with flowers and a fancy dress, and more food than they knew what to do with. Ariel had looked beautiful standing next to her mother, who, clad in a gorgeous white gown, was the image of perfection. But what had been the real kicker of the whole thing, the best part of the dream as far as he was concerned, was the fact that Leanne’s dress had hugged her in all the right places. Her very pregnant stomach only making her more beautiful. She glowed just like they always said a woman should and even though she had simply been a vision in white, Ethan had fallen in love with her even more.

He couldn’t believe that he was dreaming of her having his baby. That he was dreaming of marrying her and making her his wife. He wanted nothing more than to make both of those things a reality and his heart was racing in his chest when he shot up in bed. While it had truly been an amazing dream, it had shook him down to his core. He wanted to make things a reality, he wanted to make her his wife and the mother of his children. But he didn’t know if she wanted the same things, if she would be willing to make those kinds of dramatic changes in her life after everything that had happened to her.

He let out a sigh as he gave his eyes a minute to adjust to his surroundings. He was still in their bed, wearing only his boxers and what had to be the world’s most panicked smile. But when he turned to his right, the woman of his dreams was gone, instead, he was met with a neatly arranged pile of blankets and pillows. He let out a huff as he scanned his eyes around the room. Her phone was still on the nightstand, as were her glasses, and he could see her robe still draped across the foot of the bed. His eyes caught sight of the clock across from him, 6:56am stared back at him and he couldn’t help but let a growl.

They still had several hours before they had to be up and he couldn’t fathom why she would want to get out of bed so incredibly early. They had both worked all day yesterday and then they had grabbed Ariel from school before heading to Rox’s house for a bit. Leanne had wanted to make sure that she got settled in okay but then they had disappeared into Rox’s back bedroom and shut the door and he and Ariel had just sat and stared at each other for a few minutes. The two of them were up to something and he had a feeling that they were up to no good. 

After they had left Rox’s they had returned home and Ariel had gone straight to her room to study. Leanne had once again dragged him into the bedroom and had her way with him. Not that he was complaining or anything. After several heated rounds of love making they had both retreated to the shower and then collapsed into bed. Leanne had snuggled against his side and fallen asleep within minutes, her arm wrapped tightly around his stomach as her breaths evened out against his cheek. He had held onto her like his life depended on it, like he was afraid he was going to lose her, because to be honest, he was terrified of just that.

“Babe?” He called out, his hand moving up to wipe at his eyes as he tried to gather the energy to pull his body out of bed. 

He was seriously looking forward to being able to sleep in today, especially knowing that Leanne was going to be there too. But waking up without her, well that was definitely not part of his plans. He knew that she was nervous. Ariel’s hearing was scheduled for three thirty that afternoon and his dad had so graciously offered to take her to school and pick her up, allowing them some time to relax before the stress of the courtroom took over. He had never been so thankful for his dad’s presence in his life and he was glad that the man was taking the time to get to know him and his girls.

“Lea?” He called out for her again, hoping she was just down the hall or had stepped into the bathroom. When he didn’t receive a reply he slowly pulled himself from the bed with a groan. He was certainly starting to pay for all of his and Leanne’s romping. 

And that’s when he heard it. The sound of a sob from the bathroom, and then the sounds of Leanne emptying the contents of her stomach into what he hoped was the toilet. He rushed toward the bathroom but when he tried the knob he found that she had locked the door behind her. She never locked the door behind her, never, and he started to panic.

“Leanne!” He knocked against the wood gently, his heart racing in his chest as he did his best to calm himself. He didn’t want to panic, and he certainly didn’t want to panic her, but she was scaring him. “Baby? Please answer me.”

“Yeah?” Her voice was so quiet that he barely heard it over the sound of the toilet flushing but he let out a breath when he realized that she was at least able to speak.

“You okay?” She obviously wasn’t ‘okay’, but he wanted to make sure that she wasn’t in dire need of medical attention.

“I’m fine.” She called back as she cut the sink on. He leaned his head against the door and closed his eyes. He knew something was wrong, he just wished that she would let him in. “Just stressed.”

“You sure everything’s alright?” He wanted nothing more than to pull her into his arms and drag her back to bed and snuggle her until they had to leave for court.

“Yes Ethan.” She spat back. He could hear the aggravation in her voice and he hated it. He just wanted her to be okay. He hated that she didn’t seem to see it that way. “I just want this day to be over with so that we can move on.”

“Lea…” He was pleading with her now, begging her almost, and he hated himself for it. “Please talk to me.”

“Please Ethan.” This time her voice was a whisper and he reached down and tried the knob once more. The door was still locked and he kicked his foot against the wood softly. “Just leave me be.”

“Not until you tell me what’s going on.” He huffed. He was going to get to the bottom of this even if it drove him insane.

He heard her let out another sobbing sound and then she was throwing up again. He banged his head gently against the door. He should be in there taking care of her, not standing out here beating himself up. And then it hit him. Like a freight train. 

The throwing up.

The insane sex drive.

The exhaustion yet inability to sleep.

She was pregnant. He was sure of it. And he felt the tears hit his eyes before he could stop himself from getting too emotional. He was going to be a father. Again. He just knew it.

“Babe please let me in.” He whispered his plea this time, his hand resting against the door knob as he heard her flush the toilet once more.

“Go away Ethan!” She practically yelled at him and he felt his heart jump. 

“I know what’s going on Leanne.” He closed his eyes once more as he waited for her response. But there wasn’t one. Instead there was just silence on the other end. “I know you’re pregnant. I’m not stupid.”

“I said ‘go away’!” She screamed back. He wanted nothing more than to rip the damn door off the hinges but he knew better than to push her. He knew that this must be reeking havoc on her poor heart, and her head, and he didn’t want to upset her anymore. 

“I’m gonna go shower in Ariel’s bathroom.” Still, there was nothing but silence. So much for their day in bed together. “I’m gonna go into work for a bit. I’ll see you this afternoon.”

“Fine. Just go.” He could hear her crying on the other end and his heart broke in two. He felt like a horrible person for leaving her, but he knew better than anyone not to press her further than she was able to bare.

“I love you baby.” He whispered. 

But once again, he was met with no reply. 

He let out a sigh as he moved through the bedroom, grabbing a clean pair of underwear and t-shirt before heading toward the hall bathroom. He showered quickly and returned to the room to throw on a pair of pants and some socks. Leanne had returned to the bed at some point while he was gone and he did his best to move around the room quietly. After grabbing his cell phone and his boots he stopped by the bed, his hand reaching out to brush her hair away from her face as he knelt down next to her.

“I’ll see you this afternoon.” He said softly, his hand stopping to cup the back of her head gently. She didn’t reply, instead she blinked her eyes several times, a few stray tears making their way down her face. “I love you. And we’ll talk about this tonight, okay?”

She simply nodded her head at his question and he squeezed the back of her head gently before leaning down to press a kiss against her forehead. He pushed himself back into a standing position and pulled the blanket up to her chin with a gentle sigh. He watched as she settled herself against the pillows some more, a small sniffle escaping her as she rolled away from him. He hated when she shut him out like this. And especially now that he knew she was carrying his child. He wanted nothing more than to hold her all day and remind her just how much he loved her and this little miracle.

He had bumped into Ariel and his dad on his way out the door and he had just shrugged when they asked what was going on. Luckily, they didn’t seem to think anything of it and they had driven away without another word. He was thankful that neither one of them put any further thought into it than that. He had sat in his Jeep for another ten minutes before he finally drove off, and he had been halfway to Angels before the tears had started rolling down his cheeks.

——

Campbell had been surprised to see him, especially given what today was, but when Ethan had told him not to ask the man had done just that. Instead he had put him to work, allowing him his space to get done what he needed to do. Jesse had raised an eyebrow when he noticed him a few hours later, but like Campbell, he hadn’t pressed the issue when he had simply shaken his head with a solemn look in his eyes. He wondered if the others were as concerned about Leanne as he was.

He had returned home at around 1:00pm only to find that Leanne was gone, her nice suit having been pulled from the closet and her heels no longing resting next to his Army boots on the shoe rack. He could tell that she had recently showered, and from the looks of it, she had probably been in bed up until right before then. Not that he could blame her though, she was bound to be exhausted. After taking another quick shower he had grabbed his suit from the closet and gotten dressed, his ears listening out for any sign of her presence in the otherwise quiet house. But instead he was met with silence. 

He texted his dad letting him know that he wanted to ride with him and Ariel to the courthouse and then he plopped down on the couch with a sigh. His dad replied immediately, only to tell him that Leanne was picking up the girl now, not him, but that he could swing by and get him instead. He had said he was fine with that before tossing his phone across the room with a growl. He was frustrated with Leanne and he didn’t even really know why. 

After his dad had stopped by and picked him up they had driven to the courthouse in silence. His dad shooting him sympathetic looks every so often from the driver’s seat. He wondered if his father was having the same thoughts in regards to Leanne’s well-being. When they pulled up out front he noticed that Leanne’s car was already there and he let out a sigh. He was hoping that this wouldn’t be any more awkward than it had to be. They exited the vehicle and walked in together, their eyes searching the lobby for any signs of where to go. 

“Hey strangers!” He heard a soft voice shouting from their left and when he turned he was shocked to see Rox standing off to the side.

“Rox.” He and his dad moved in her direction and when she pulled him in for a hug he could have sworn that she whispered ‘congrats’ into his ear. He had simply hugged her back before pulling away so that his father could embrace her as well. “What are you doing here?”

“I rode with Leanne and Ariel.” Her voice was soft, as were her eyes, and he could tell that she knew something she wasn’t saying. He was pretty certain that she knew what he knew, about Leanne being pregnant, and it surely would have explained her behavior the past few days.

Ethan got ready to reply when he heard his name being called from behind him. And when he turned around he felt his heart swell in his chest. For walking through the front doors of the courtroom was their entire Angels family. He had never felt more proud in his entire life. He couldn’t believe that they had all stepped up to support them through this. That they were all here to provide love to him and his family. He truly was the luckiest man alive.

They all entered the courtroom together a few minutes later and he moved sit in the front row, his dad on one side of him and Rox on the other. He had never been so nervous in his entire life and he could only imagine how Leanne felt. But then he saw the tears in her eyes and the smile on her face and he couldn’t help but fall even more in love with her than he had been this morning. Ariel had turned when she heard the doors open and he watched as she started to cry at the sight of all of her family there to support her. He knew that she often felt like she was alone in this world, but he prayed that this would be enough to let her know that she wasn’t.

He couldn’t help but smile when his eyes connected with hers and he mouthed an ‘I love you’ to her as he took his seat. She mouthed it back as she choked back a sob and he felt Rox’s hand grab his as the teen turned back toward the judge. Leanne had turned to him then and she offered him the softest of smiles, her eyes screaming out how much she loved him without having to say a word and he couldn’t help but smile back. His heart had been so full in that moment that he didn’t know if he’d ever be so happy again.

But then the judge had declared that Ariel was Leanne’s, that she was theirs, and that she was going to stay and he had found himself jumping up with a huge smile on his face, his hands clapping as he watched the love of his life and his daughter embrace in front of him. He had wanted to push his way past everyone and join them, but he had refrained, instead he wiped his tears away with his jacket sleeve as his dad patted him on the back.

They all moved to wait outside in the hallway while Leanne and Ariel finished up and when they emerged from behind the closed doors a few minutes later he had had to stop himself from sprinting across the lobby and pulling them both into his arms. Lucky for him, Ariel took the first step and she came barreling at him with a giant smile on her face, her arms throwing themselves around his neck as tightly as they could go.

“Daddy!” He wrapped her up tight, as tight as he could, and he made a silent promise to himself that he was never letting her go.

“I love you Angel.” He whispered against her hair as he lifted her off the ground some. He couldn’t believe how lucky he had gotten to have this girl as his daughter.

“I love you more.” She whispered back, squeezing him tightly as her tears fell against his shoulder. He watched as Leanne moved from person to person, exchanging hugs and congratulations. She was glowing, from head to toe, and if there was ever any doubt in his mind that she was pregnant, it was gone.

“What do you say we go celebrate?” He heard Mario’s voice from somewhere in the crowd, but then Leanne was turning down the offer and Rox’s eyes were twinkling and he had a feeling that he was about to take his girl’s home to some even more good news.

Mario had huffed for a minute about the lack of celebration, but then his dad was assuring them all that they would celebrate this coming weekend. Something about cooking out and beer and there being a cake. He couldn’t help but chuckle at Ariel’s excitement over the prospect of cake and he had released his hold on her so that she could bid her goodbyes to everyone. He watched as the teen hugged and thanked each and every person and then suddenly they were all gone, leaving the three of them standing alone in the lobby.

“Let’s go home.” Leanne whispered softly, her eyes shining brightly as she offered him a soft smile.

“Yes, lets.” He reached out for her then, tugging her against his chest as he dropped a kiss to her head. He wanted to tell her so many things. He wanted to confess his undying love for her and their children right then and there. But then Ariel was tugging on his hand and he pulled away from the hug, offering her a soft smile as they dropped their embrace.

They drove home in comfortable silence, Ariel’s head having fallen against the window of the backseat as he guided Leanne’s car toward the house. He reached over for Leanne’s hand then, his fingers wrapping around hers tightly as he rubbed his thumb over her ring finger. He was dying to put a ring there, now more so than ever, and he hoped that his subtle hinting was enough to get her thinking about it. His mind flashed back to when he had told her to give him a sign, any kind of sign, and he prayed that it would be coming soon.

——

The three of them had enjoyed a nice dinner after changing into their pajamas, and they had curled up on the couch together to watch a movie. Ariel had fallen asleep halfway through and while part of Ethan wanted to carry her upstairs to her room and tuck her in and then drag Leanne to bed with him, another part of him wanted to cherish the feeling of his little girl snuggled against him. He knew that these days were fleeting and that there would come a time when the teen would probably shy away from simply hugging him, much less falling asleep with her head on his shoulder.

Leanne had fallen asleep not long before the film ended and he had hugged both his girl’s closer as he watched the credits roll down the screen. After turning the TV off he had had quietly woken them both up and they had all moved upstairs in silence. Ariel had hugged and kissed them both goodnight before disappearing into her room and he guessed that she was probably asleep before her head even hit the pillow. He had turned and followed Leanne down the hall after closing her door quietly behind him and he watched as Leanne practically fell into the bed, a soft sigh escaping her lips as she snuggled back against the pillows.

“I’m sorry for earlier Ethan.” She whispered softly, her eyes meeting his as he moved to sit in front of her. “I didn’t mean to snap at you.”

“It’s okay honey. I get it.” And he did get it. He got that this was hard for her, that this was almost more than she could bare. He understood that she was struggling and that she needed some space. “Today was stressful. Trust me. I was freaking out all morning.”

“You never would have known it.” She offered him a soft smile as she reached out for him, pulling him toward her.

“I didn’t want you and Ariel to panic.” And that part was true. He surely didn’t want to let them in on how nervous he was for today. Ariel had been handling herself so well the past few days and he figured that it was best to just keep his wits about him.

“Too late for that huh?” The twinkle in her eye made his heart flutter in his chest and he pulled her close, dragging her into his lap as he settled back against the headboard. 

“Leanne…” He knew that he needed to ask her. He needed the truth. He needed to know if he was truly going to be a father again in the upcoming months.

“Yeah?” He could hear the hesitation in her voice and when she pulled his dog tags out from under his t-shirt he knew that she was struggling to keep herself together.

“You’re pregnant aren’t you?” He whispered his question as he reached down to cup her cheeks in his hands.

“Yeah.” She whispered back, her eyes filling with tears as she locked them with his. He felt his heart stop beating in his chest for a brief second and he let out a soft breath. He couldn’t believe how excited he was.

“When did you find out?” He hoped that she didn’t think he was mad at her for knowing and not saying anything.

“Last Friday.” That made sense. Rox’s words, his father’s weird behavior, they must have known as well.

“Why didn’t you tell me baby?” He wished that she had confided in him. That she had let him help her over that initial hump of discovery.

“I didn’t want you to stress over it.” He couldn’t believe that her reasoning for not telling him was because she was afraid of stressing him out. That was almost the most ridiculous thing he had ever heard. “You’d been so stressed with everything. Between Ariel and your dad and Rox. I didn’t want you worrying over me.”

“But that’s my job Lea.” He whispered, his forehead falling against his with a soft sigh. “It’s what I’m supposed to do.”

“I know.” She was hesitating and he could tell. He brushed his thumbs over her cheeks, pushing away the falling tears as he pressed a gentle kiss to her lips. “I just… I guess I’m not used to that part yet.”

“What part?” He didn’t know what she was afraid of. He had told her over and over again that he loved her and that he cared about her. He didn’t know why this was so hard for her.

“Having someone worry over me.” But that part did make sense. Her husband had been dead almost six years. In fact, if he recalled correctly, it was exactly a week shy of the anniversary of her accident. “It’s been so long since I’ve had that.”

“Well get used to it.” He offered her a soft smile as he rested his forehead back in place against hers. “Because for the next nine months I’m gonna fuss over you constantly.”

“Please don’t.” He let out a chuckle at her words. She had no idea what she was getting herself into here.

“Too late.” He watched as a small smile came across her face and he felt her hands drop his dog tags against his shirt before they moved to rest against his shoulders.

“Ethan.” Her voice was so soft and he almost didn’t hear it, but then she was pulling from him slightly and moving to straddle his waist and he knew that she was trying to get as close to him as possible. Which meant only one thing. She was about to have an emotional moment that was going to require some much needed snuggling.

“Yeah love?” He asked softly, his hands moving to settle on her hips softly as he watched her with gentle eyes.

“I’m scared.” She whispered, her head falling to his shoulder as she tucked herself against his chest. “Terrified even.”

“I know babe.” He whispered back, his arms wrapping around her tightly. He didn’t want her to be scared. He wanted her to be happy. But he completely understood her fears, especially if what Rox had said about her pregnancy with her daughter having been rough were true. “But you don’t have to be. We’re going to get through this. I promise.”

“What if… what if something goes wrong?” He didn’t even want to fathom that possibility, not now, not ever. He wanted to believe that she and Ariel and this baby would be perfectly fine for the rest of their lives.

“Then we handle it like we handle everything else. Together.” He pushed her back slowly, his hands going to rest against her cheeks as he offered her a soft smile. He hoped that he was being reassuring, that he was offering her the support that she so desperately needed. “But nothing is going to go wrong Lea. We’re gonna be just fine and this baby is going to be just fine.”

“What about Ariel?” Her question startled him. He honestly hadn’t even thought about the teen in all of this and he suddenly felt horrible.

“What about her?” He didn’t know what she was thinking, but if it was anything like what he was thinking, he couldn’t blame her for panicking some.

“I don’t think she’s going to handle this well.” Truer words had never been spoken.

“I think she’s gonna fall in love quicker than you think.” But he didn’t want her to see his panic, so he lied a little. Although, if he was being honest with himself, he didn’t think the teen would completely hate the idea of bringing a new life into their family. “Especially if it’s a girl.”

“I don’t want to tell her yet.” She whispered, her eyes locking with his as she ran her fingers down the chain around his neck. “Not until we know more.”

“Okay honey. But I’m sure she probably suspects something.” At this point he figured that most everyone was on to them. Especially those that were around them a lot. Ariel and his father for one. “You’ve been acting strange lately. It’s how Rox knew. It’s how I figured it out.”

“I’m pretty sure your father knows too.” She said softly and he did a double take. So he wasn’t crazy in thinking that his dad was sending off vibes that screamed that he knew a secret.

“Wonderful.” Though he figured that his dad would probably be upset that they hadn’t told him right away.

“Look at it this way, it’ll be easier when we do go to tell him.” He couldn’t imagine telling his dad about this baby. He had had a hard enough time explaining to him what his relationship with Leanne and Ariel was.

“I hope so.” He whispered, his eyes closing as he tried to still his racing heart. He couldn’t believe how this day had gone. It had started out so horribly and now it was ending in the best way possible. There was honestly only one thing that could make this day better and his hand was itching to reach over to his nightstand and yank the drawer open. A black velvet box pushed to the back was calling his name.

“Ethan?” Leanne’s voice startled him from his thoughts and he snapped his eyes open to look at her. She was wearing the softest smile and her eyes were twinkling and he felt himself falling so in love with her that made him ache in places he didn’t know existed.

“Yeah?” He asked softly, his hand reaching out to grab the handle of the drawer to his right. If she noticed his move, she didn’t comment on it, rather, she ran her hands up his neck and into his hair, pulling him in for a kiss.

“I love you.” She whispered against his lips, her fingers stilling against his scalp as he closed the drawer back up, his hand moving slowly back toward them.

“I love you more.” He whispered back, his fingers tightening their grip against her hip.

“You think we’re gonna make it?” She asked softly, her forehead falling against his with a soft sigh.

“I know we are. Trust me.” He leaned in and pressed another kiss to her lips. When he pulled back he moved his right hand between them, his fingers itching to push the lid open as he spoke. “There’s nowhere else I’d rather be than right here with you. This house, you and Ariel, this baby, this is where I belong. You’re my people. The only people I’ll ever need. And I’ve never been more excited in my entire life than to start writing the story of us.” He took a deep breath, his hand pulling the box up between them as he watched her eyes go wide. He lifted the lid open with his left hand, his eyes connecting with hers as as they filled with tears. “I love you Leanne Marie. More than I have ever loved anyone in this entire world. And I cannot imagine spending the rest of my life with anyone else by my side.” He reached down and pulled the ring from it’s place before dropping the box between them. He pulled her left hand up to his face and he couldn’t help the smile that came over him when he saw her eyes light up at the realization of what was happening. “Leanne, will you marry me?”

“Yes.” She didn’t hesitate. Not for a second. Not at all. And his heart burst at the seams as he slid the ring onto her finger before pulling her in for a blinding kiss. 

He couldn’t believe this was all happening. That he was finally getting his happy ending. And that she was too. He was finally getting to marry the love of his life. And they were going to continue to raise their already amazing daughter together. And in a few short months, they would welcome another life into this world and they would raise him or her just the same. He had never been happier to have this woman in his arms. And he would never stop thanking whatever higher power out there for putting her right where she belonged.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***Thanks to everyone who helped support me along the way! It means so much to me to know that people have enjoyed reading this just as much as I’ve enjoyed writing it. You guys are the best! <3**

**Author's Note:**

> *Don’t forget to comment!


End file.
